Reid: If you were my wife, I’d put poison in your coffee
Lou: If I was your wife, I’d fucking drink it
John Brown: You can’t– He’s not.
John Brown: You can’t kill people in a soundstage, MY soundstage!
Sanford Scolex: You rented it to me.
John Brown: YOU SAID IT WASN’T ILLEGAL! I’m not apart of this.
Sanford Scolex: John-
John Brown: THERE’S A DEAD GUY- In my soundstage!
Sanford Scolex: John! He’s not dead he’s just-
Sanford Scolex: Well I guess he could be dead by now.
Joxter: I love the infinite multiverse theory bc that means there’s a universe where I’ve pulled every fire alarm I’ve come across.
Spency: Hey, do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Colleen: You’re a hazard to society.
Sabre: And a coward, do 20.
Corrin: Cute gender neutral things to call your partner—
Corrin: Number 1) Significant Annoyance.
Jughead: *dead or something*
Betty: *in a silent, snarled staring contest with Donna from across the room*
Donna: How long do you think she’ll keep this up?
Betty: *takes a sheet of plywood and snaps it in two so that Brett and Donna jump*
Brett: We’re fucked.
Betty: *hurls an entire table furiously and sends them running away in terror*
Virgil @ Logan: What? You wanted me to say no? I can’t say no to that face! Can say no to that face? Go ahead. Say no to that face!
Virgil: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Geralt: *bursts into room and slams the door*
Jaskier: Oh fuck, what did you do?!
Geralt: Nobody died!
Jaskier: THAT’S HARDLY COMFORTING
Silence: Who the heck ordered all these pizzas?
Flub, tied to a chair: You said I had one phone call.
L: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.
Light: …You can’t just say that every time I beat you at Connect Four.
Inkling: Look, I made a spoon hat!
Joker: Well, that explains why I’m having to eat my soup with a fork.