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#incorrect the umbrella academy

Luther: people always ask me how I manage the Academy

Luther: the secret is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning, Klaus called my name, and when I showed up to see what was going on, Five shot me in the throat with a nerf gun

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Klaus: I love feeling my clothes fresh out of the oven

Klaus, later: Okay so I realised I said oven instead of dishwasher but I forgot what it was called and used the next thing I could think of

Diego: It’s called a washing machine

Five: I think it’s a dryer. Who would be feeling wet clothes?

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Vanya: You are the worst at pranks in the whole world.

Five: No, I’m not.

Vanya: Yes, you are. You either go too small -

Past Five: Let’s pour some juice near Luther’s shoe.

Vanya: - or way too big.

Past Five: Let’s hit him in the knees with a ski.

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Klaus: get your terminology right!

Klaus, pointing to Vanya: an accident is when your parents didnt want you but still love you

Klaus, pointing to Luther: a mistake is when your parents didnt want you and hate you

Klaus, pointing to Diego: a disappointment is when you parents wanted you but still hate you

Klaus, pointing to himself: and if your none of these? Well-

Five: we’re all accidents what are you talking about-

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Klaus: [Has a big red hand mark on his face] You guys can’t still tell where Luther slapped me, can you?

Diego: Your face looks like a “Don’t Walk” signal.

Vanya: Your face looks like a photo negative of the Hamburger Helper box.

Ben: A palm reader could tell Luther’s fortune from looking at your face.

Five: The phrase “talk to the hand cause the face ain’t listening” doesn’t work for you because your face is the hand.

Klaus: A simple “yes” would’ve sufficed.

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Vanya: I’ll go with you!

Five: No, I could never risk someone I care about getting hurt.

Luther: I’ll go with you!

Five: how about you go alone so that I don’t have to spend all that extra time with you :)

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Dave: in French, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “tu me manques”, which means “ you are missing from me” and I think that’s beautiful.

Klaus: in America, we don’t say you all, we say y’all, which means you all, unless you’re with more than one person, in which case you say all y’all which means all you all and I think that’s beautiful.

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