#incorrect tolkien quotes

[glorf1ndel]

Legolas: From now on, we'll be using code names. You can address me as "Eagle One." Aragorn, code name: "Been There, Done That." Gimli is "Currently Doing That." Théoden is "It Happened Once in a Dream." Merry, code name: "If I Had to Pick a Hobbit." Gandalf is "Eagle Two."

Gandalf: Oh, thank Eru.

#lotr #lord of the rings #incorrect lotr quotes #legolas #aragorn #gimli #gigolas #theoden #merry brandybuck #gandalf #tolkien #incorrect tolkien quotes

[thethirdtreeofvalinor]

#they’re asking elrond #barbie movie #tolkien #lotr #lotr memes #the lord of the rings #incorrect tolkien quotes #lotr fandom #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #aragorn #legolas #frodo baggins #gimli #samwise gamgee #pippin took #boromir #gandalf #the fellowship of the ring #merry brandybuck

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Ngl, obsessed with the idea that the questers know that legolas is, if not thousands of years, then centuries old, but it not regestering until he mentions having met their ancestor or a historical figure to them. It doesn’t help that legolas looks like a teenager.

Just like that scene with eowyn realizing aragorn is a legit grandpa but with legolas and the rest of the walkers instead.

Legolas: i never had the pleasure of having a conversation with the man, but from the brief glimpses of (insert boromir’s ancestor from 1000 years ago here) that i saw, he was an honorable man.

Boromir, bluescreening: yes, he was known as quite the chivalrous man. But for you to have met him you must be at least a thousand years old!

Legolas: *clicks tongue and doesn’t say anything with an amused smile*

Aragorn, who has gone through all these emotions already: older.

Gimli: Older?? Are you telling me that this beardless, pointy elf with a face of a teenager is, what? 2000?

Aragorn: more.

Gimli: MORE???

Merry: if he is close to 3000 years than he was probably born around the last war for the ring!

Legolas, enjoying this all immensely: i was old enough to fight in it actually.

Pippin: alright, so legolas is 3000 and a few centuries. That’s a lot older than i thought to be honest. He looked like the youngest elf in rivendale.

Legolas: i’m 4000, actually.

Gimli: GODDAMN IT! I knew we shouldn’t trust these babyfaced point ears! You can’t even tell their age!

Legolas: if it makes you feel better, other elves also have a hard time discerning the age of silvans. They’ve routinely thought of mine to be millenia younger that we actually are.

Boromir, having an existential crisis: what the fuck

#lord of the rings #lotr #silmarillion #the hobbit #lotr elves #thranduil #legolas #mirkwood #silvans #greenwood the great #incorrect lotr quotes #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect hobbit quotes #the 9 walkers #the three hunters #legolas’s age #merry and pippin #gimli son of gloin #boromir #aragorn

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Legolas: I kissed Gimli.

Aragorn: Wow.

Aragorn: I owe Gandalf so much money.

#gigolas #legolas greenleaf #gimli son of gloin #aragorn #gandalf the grey #incorrect fellowship quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect tolkien quotes

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Thorin, at Y/n: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Fili and Kili, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

#incorrect the hobbit quotes #the hobbit #the hobbit x reader #thorin oakenshield #thorin oakenshield x reader #thorin x y/n #thorin x reader #fili and kili #fili durin #kili durin #incorrect lotr quotes #lotr x reader #incorrect tolkien quotes

[glorfindelridesagain]

Bilbo: You have to apologise to Thranduil.

Thorin: Fine.

Thorin: Unfuck you, or whatever.

#Bagginshield #Bilbo #Bilbo Baggins #Baggins #Thorin #Thorin Oakenshield #Oakenshield #Dwarf #Dwarves #Hobbits #Hobbit #The Hobbit #Gay Thorin #Tolkien #JRR Tolkien #incorrect quotes #incorrect Hobbit quotes #incorrect Tolkien quotes #misquote #misquotes

[incorrect-lord-of-the-rings]

The Lord of the Rings + Tumblr Text Posts

Part 2

#lotr #The Lord of the Rings #lord of the rings #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect lotr #incorrect lord of the rings

[thranduilswifesblog]

Elrond : *sliding a photo across the table* I need you to shoot this guy on the leg

Legolas : my lord Elrond, but this is your picture

Elrond : Thranduil and Glorfindel want me to try zumba

#the hobbit #the lord of the rings #rings of power #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #tolkien #elrond #hugoweaving #incorrect silmarillion quotes #robert aramayo #incorrect hobbit quotes #incorrect the hobbit quotes #legolas #orlando bloom #lindir #thranduil #lee pace

[sauronnaise]

Legolas: Merry Christmas!

Gimli: Merry Christmas!

Sam: Merry Christmas!

Frodo: Merry Christmas!

Merry: Merry Christmas!

Pippin: Pippin Christmas!

#bad joke #cope #tolkien #shitpost #incorrect tolkien quotes #the lord of the rings #incorrect lotr quotes #legolas #gimli #sam gamgee #frodo baggins #merry and pippin #meriadoc brandybuck #peregrin took #I know christmas doesn't exist in middle earth #sauron was banished from being santa claus #the lord of gifts got it #k bye

[vildo]

Fëanor: no one’s dying on my watch

Fëanor: go die somewhere I can’t see you

#shitpost #tumblr trash #tolkien #jirt #j r r tolkien #incorrect tolkien #incorrect tolkien quotes #silmarillion #silm #feanor #curufinwe #noldor #high elves #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect silm quotes #incorrect silm #incorrect quotes #silm fandom #silm trash #silm crack #silm shitpost #silm incorrect quotes #crack

[maeofthenoldor]

Boromir : I sleep with my sword next to my side

Aragorn : I sleep with a knife

Legolas : Both of you are pathetic

Boromir : Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Legolas : Gimli.

#gigolas #gimleaf #gimli #legolas #lotr #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #boromir #aragorn

[maedhrosiseverything2me]

Have you ever wondered if elves comprehend human jokes or sarcasm?, like for example when we are so pissed off we say things out of rage and don't truely mean it..

*plan not going well*.

Human:*pissed* I'm gonna k!ll myself.

Elf:*visibly concerned* why would you do that?!.

#silmarillion #incorrect silmarillion quotes #lotr #lotr elves #incorrect tolkien quotes

[thethirdtreeofvalinor]

me after reanimating the corpse of tolkien: so later on in the show, galadriel’s new bestie, halbrand, is revealed to be sauron, which kind of erases celebrimbor as a character and his contribution to the main conflict

tolkien: that’s what you’re worried about when two of the beatles are still living? go finish the job

#i love his undying hate for them #halbrand #galadriel #tolkien #lotr #lotr memes #the lord of the rings #lotr fandom #silmarillion #silmarillion memes #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #lotr amazon #rings of power #the rings of power #celebrimbor #trop spoilers

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

What most elves thinks it’s like talking to the trees:

Silvan: mighty oak tree, is there some trouble of which you would like to warn us?

Tree: no, my kind silvan. There is no darkness of which that can cause you harm.

What a silvan talking to a tree is actually like:

Legolas, cackling, landing on a tree branch: babe, you’ll never believe what happened!

Tree, lighting up and shaking their leaves: Legolas, my good bitch! I got news!

#lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr #the hobbit #lotr elves #thranduil #legolas #mirkwood #greenwood the great #silvans #talking to trees #trees are gossips and the silvans regularly have bitch sessions with them #incorrect lotr quotes #incorrect tolkien quotes #oropher

[aotearoa20]

first trip to dipolmatic trip to Mirkwood

Aragorn: When I woke up this morning, I had a feeling something terrible was going to happen and also that essentially, deep down, I’m quite an evil person.

Thranduil: It’s called a hangover, little king, you're doing fine

#aragron #Thranduil #incorrect tolkien quotes #tolkien #lord of the rings

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Kili: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Y/n a little bit.

Thorin, holding Kili's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Kili: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Thorin: My mistake.

#the hobbit incorrect quotes #incorrect the hobbit quotes #incorrect hobbit quotes #lotr incorrect quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #lotr #lotr x reader #kili durin #kili x reader #kili #kili x y/n #thorin oakenshield #kili x you #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit #the hobbit kili #incorrect tolkien quotes