stephen: tony…….. i’ve come to bargain
tony: no. i am NOT turning the heating down. don’t even try me. it’s fucking freezing in here
Tony: I did the right thing by recruiting Peter.
Pepper: You messed up a perfectly good 15 year old nerd is what you did. Look at him. He’s got anxiety
Tony: I’m gonna go blow up some stuff.
Rhodey: Or, you could-
JARVIS: What Kind of Music do You Like, Sir
Tony: a little bit of everything
JARVIS: Really, Mr Stark? Everything?
Tony: yeah i guess
JARVIS: Alright, then, Sir. I Shall Blast 6 Hours Straight of Kazoo Solos
Tony: what the fuck
Jarvis: and I Will Not Stop under Any Circumstances
This is Tony, prepping for his and Steve’s/Bucky’s first time together, change my mind.
Peter: [accidentally shoots web fluid directly into his own eye]
Tony: Are you sure you weren’t bitten by a radioactive idiot?
Stephen: I know that deep down, you care about me. Right… [pokes Tony’s chest where his heart is] there.
Tony: In my boob?
Stephen: Yeah sure whatever.
Tony, blowing his nose: ugh i’m sick
Peter, handing him a skateboard: prove it
Peter: butter is just food lotion
Tony: what the- kid there’s something wrong with you
Peter: think about it-
Tony: Pete please get off my ceiling and go to bed, it’s 3am
Peter: [on Tony’s computer]
Tony: Nice try, Peter. But you’ll never guess my super secret password.
FRIDAY: “Tony-licious.” Access granted.
Stephen: Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
Tony: You don’t underst- aren’t you a doctor?
Tony: Peter’s gone, take your pants off
Stephen: What? He just went to get some food-
Tony: WE HAVE FIVE MINUTES AT LEAST MOVE IT OR LOSE IT
Peter: My party trick is to wear cool socks so people come up to me and say “Hey man, cool socks”
Tony: What if you accidentally hear “Hey man, cool sucks?”
Peter: I run out if the room in tears. Then next time I see them they say “Hey aren’t you the guy who stormed out if the last party crying?” Either way it’s a great icebreaker.