Allison: So, I got these new retainers but they make me have weird lisp or something. Like, for example, trash.
Allison: *Puts on retainer* Men
Luther: people always ask me how I manage the Academy
Luther: the secret is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning, Klaus called my name, and when I showed up to see what was going on, Five shot me in the throat with a nerf gun
Klaus, in the mausoleum: Hey there demons, it’s me *voice breaking* ya boy
Klaus: Being lactose intolerant sucks. When I drink eggnog, I feel a rush. Not a Christmas rush, but a rush to the bathroom.
‘What’s so bad about being
Yes, this sucks but I’m new at this :((
Me: I love all the Hargreaves siblings the same. There’s Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, Ben, Vanya, and…
Me: *looks at perfectly clear writing on hand*
Me: A dickhead
Klaus: Welcome to the Klaus Hargreaves show, starring me, featuring depression and anxiety, created by a God that despises me.
Klaus: *Awkwardly finger guns at camera*
Diego, in the other room: bless you
Five: Dolores, do the thing.
Five: The thing
Dolores: *Does absolutely nothing*
Five: *tearing up* Thank you
Klaus:*appears out of nowhere, disheveled, covered in blood, only wearing a towel and jacket, holding a briefcase* what the fuck?
Dave: bipitty, bopitty you are now my property
Dave: I never caught your name
Klaus: *throws his dog tag at him* catch
Diego: you know, you have the right to remain silent.
Klaus: but do I have the ability?
Luther: this morning, someone asked me how I manage the team.
Luther: the truth is, I don’t. This morning, Diego called me into a room and klaus shot me in the throat with a nerf gun.
Therapist: Is there maybe a phrase we can develop that you can say to take a breath and approach a situation with your father a little differently?
Five: ‘Patricide is illegal.’
The Umbrella Academy Children as people drinking from water bottles
Luther: Wraps his lips over the entire mouth of the bottle
Diego: Shotguns his plastic water bottle
Allison: Insists on using a metal straw
Klaus: Stabs a hole through the cap of his plastic water bottle and squirts out the water
Five: Actually drinks like a normal person
Ben: Uses his hydro flask to flex on others
Vanya: Has an old, dented water bottle that she’s very fond of
Klaus: *wakes up*
Klaus: *looks outside and sees absolute chaos*
Klaus: *whispers to himself* wakey wakey big mistakey