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Luther: people always ask me how I manage the Academy

Luther: the secret is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning, Klaus called my name, and when I showed up to see what was going on, Five shot me in the throat with a nerf gun

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Me: I love all the Hargreaves siblings the same. There’s Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, Ben, Vanya, and…

Me: *looks at perfectly clear writing on hand*

Me: A dickhead

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Luther: this morning, someone asked me how I manage the team.

Luther: the truth is, I don’t. This morning, Diego called me into a room and klaus shot me in the throat with a nerf gun.

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The Umbrella Academy Children as people drinking from water bottles

Luther: Wraps his lips over the entire mouth of the bottle

Diego: Shotguns his plastic water bottle

Allison: Insists on using a metal straw

Klaus: Stabs a hole through the cap of his plastic water bottle and squirts out the water

Five: Actually drinks like a normal person

Ben: Uses his hydro flask to flex on others

Vanya: Has an old, dented water bottle that she’s very fond of

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