Klaus: If I run and leap at Diego, he will almost certainly catch me in his arms.
Klaus: COMING IN! [Runs at Diego]
Diego: NO! KLAUS, I’M HOLDING COFFEE!
Diego: [Drops cup of coffee on the floor and catches Klaus]
Five: *travels back in time*
Five: What year is it?
Five: Before or after the apocalypse?
Diego: *to Luther* I like that plan…except it sucks. So let me do the plan and that way it might be really good
Luther: We are not raiding Area 51 and that’s final!
Klaus: Your just scared we’ll find the aliens aren’t you, hey maybe your not even the real Luther and the real ones in Area 51!
Luther: I hate this family.
diego: your smile looks forced
vanya: it is
Diego: I’m more skilled than all of you.
Diego: I follow my morals and don’t listen to those who try and stop me.
Diego: I have life experience and have been hardened by it.
Diego: I’m tough, and mature, and-
Grace: Diego, your smiley face pancakes are done.
Diego: ₜₕₐₙₖₛ ₘₒₘ ᵢ ₗₒᵥₑ ᵧₒᵤ
Five: My aesthetic is the kid on the playground who tells all the other kids that ring around the rosies is about the black plague
Ben, to Klaus: Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of Scooby-Doo?
Allison: So… Which one of you guys is the big spoon and who is the little one?
Vanya: We’re chopsticks.
Allison: That’s kinda cute.
Five: Actually, it’s not. It just means that if you take either one of us away from the other, the only thing the other is good at is stabbing.
Klaus: I only feel one emotion and it is anger.
Ben: Last night you drunk texted everyone a thousand heart emojis.
Klaus: Out of anger.
The Umbrella Academy as people at parties
Luther: crying in the bathroom because his girlfriend left him
Diego: Gets into a fight
Allison: Makes out with someone in the bedroom
Klaus: absolutely drunk and high out of his mind
Five: drinking under the table
Ben: designated driver
Vanya: standing awkwardly in the corner
Ben: My brothers are the kind of people who will spend hours trying to drown a fish. But I still love them to death.
Klaus: Diego once started arguing with Luther, who’s like 1,96m, he turned on a ceiling fan and Luther stopped the blade with his hand and said “Boi you don’t pay bills here”
Diego: are either of you good at making annoying noises?
Klaus: my time has come