Luther: We’re a family. Families talk about things.
Five: No. Families ignore things until they go away.
Klaus, drunk, yelling on top of the bar at 3 a.m: WHAT DO ALIENS FLY IN? SPACESHIPS. WHAT DID NICKI MINAJ RAP ABOUT? SPACESHIPS. NICKI MINAJ IS AN ALIEN!
Diego: *starts dragging him to his room*
Klaus: SHES HERE TO WARN US
luther: dad sent me to d moon for 4 years for nothing
dave: are you asking me on a date
klaus: I AM NOT YOUR WHORE!
klaus: BUT yes i am asking you on a date
Klaus, to Five: I thought you said thank you and not fuck you for a second and it kind of confused me
need i say more?
klaus: I crave death but death doesn’t crave me
klaus: I’m never going to get a boyfriend.
ben: you have so many problems.
Five: i think turtles are a big threat to our national security
Diego: Hey, did you know that most laughs were recorded in the 1950s? That means that technically you’re listening to dead people laugh
Klaus, just a child having newly discovered his powers: That’s pretty weird, Diego, but I already hear dead people laughing
Diego, pausing: Hey, Klaus
Diego, visibly shaking: What the fuck does that mean
Klaus, arguing: “So, what now?! Am I just supposed to do anything that Five does?”
Klaus: “I mean, if Five jumped off a cliff, I should jump too?!”
Ben: “If Five were to jump off a cliff, he would have calculated the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry.”
Ben: “Yes. You should jump off the cliff.”
Hi, we’re doing a project in my Lit Class.
Luther: I’m about take your EDITING RIGHTS WAY, I SWEAR TO GOD!
Diego, face timing his mom: Oh, my mom said she’s going to cut me when I get home
Allison: This is too much of a struggle
“You are just finding a picture of Kermit the Frog”
Klaus: [Writing Kermit x Garfield fanfiction]
“What the hell are you doing?”
Klaus: Our project
Five: Klaus, you write that Kermit and Garfield fanfiction
Ben: We’re doing everything that’s required, we won’t get a bad grade
Vanya: [Looking at Elon Musk memes]
Cha-Cha: God, he’s ain’t here I can’t watch her badly flirt with him
Hazel: I’m about to die, make sure to tell my plant that I love him
Grace: First you snap your fingers, then you snap their neck
Reginald: I fucking hate the hallway because people don’t know how to fucking walk!!