Vanya: Klaus, what are you drinking.
Klaus: not really
Klaus: oH you meant the vodka?
Diego: just trust your gut!
Vanya: bro, I have anxiety. My gut is always telling me to abort mission.
Alison: Do you know what strength is? Forgiving a person who wasn’t even sorry.
Five: Not to be dramatic, but I would literally rather die.
Klaus: guys! i know the perfect place to hide! it’s big and it’s empty!
Allison: that’s great but how will we all fit in your head
Ben and Klaus PT 47
Klaus: Maybe, you should sit down and listen to The Cult Of Dionynus or Achilles Come Down
Ben: maybe, just maybe, you can’t fix everything with gay Greeks.
Klaus: I was put on this earth to do one thing. luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever the fuck I want
luther: it seems like bad things keep happening to me, i might have bad luck or something
five: luther, you don’t have bad luck, bad things keep happening to you because you’re a dumbass
Diego: What are you doing?
Klaus: *awake at 4 am, sitting on top of the fridge eating ice cream from the tub with a fork* My best
Diego: you think something might have happened to Five?
Vanya: no but I think five may have happened to someone
Diego: Esto es tu culpa
Klaus: yeah I know
Vanya: you speak Spanish?
Klaus: No. I just know the phrase “this is all your fault” in every language he speaks
Diego: What did I say to you about barging in to my room?
Klaus: That it was manly and impulsive?
Diego: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was “don’t.”
Vanya: I’m going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
Allison: I’ll have a latte.
Klaus: I’ll have a blueberry muffin.
Ben: I’ll have a bagel with a little-
Vanya: You know I was just being polite.
Vanya: I regret giving you that blender.
Klaus: *drinking a pizza* Why?