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#incorrect umbrella academy quotes
Diego: The thing slipped out of my hand.
Luther: Right after you said, quote, "You better duck, Luther, because I'm going to throw this frying pan at your head"?
Klaus: You threw a frying pan at Luther's head without me here?! I hate you.
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Klaus, drunk, yelling on top of the bar at 3 a.m: WHAT DO ALIENS FLY IN? SPACESHIPS. WHAT DID NICKI MINAJ RAP ABOUT? SPACESHIPS. NICKI MINAJ IS AN ALIEN!

Diego: *starts dragging him to his room*

Klaus: SHES HERE TO WARN US

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no one:

luther: dad sent me to d moon for 4 years for nothing

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Diego: Hey, did you know that most laughs were recorded in the 1950s? That means that technically you’re listening to dead people laugh

Klaus, just a child having newly discovered his powers: That’s pretty weird, Diego, but I already hear dead people laughing

Diego, pausing: Hey, Klaus

Diego, visibly shaking: What the fuck does that mean

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Klaus, arguing: “So, what now?! Am I just supposed to do anything that Five does?”

Klaus: “I mean, if Five jumped off a cliff, I should jump too?!”

Ben: “If Five were to jump off a cliff, he would have calculated the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry.”

Ben:

Ben:

Ben: “Yes. You should jump off the cliff.”

Klaus:

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Klaus: DIEGO! There's a monster under my bed and it's the most hideous thing I've ever seen!
Ben, sleeping on the bottom bunk: Fuck you
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Five: My stomach growled so loud in french today
Five: I would like to clarify my stomach did not speak french I simply meant it growled during french class
Klaus: Bonjour
Ben: Le growl
Klaus: FeEd mE bAgUeTtE
Ben: NoM nOm
Five: Why do I even hangout with you guys
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Klaus: I want you to kill my ex (not dave) but make it look like an accident
Diego/five: Say no more
Detective: It looks like the killer beat them to death with a crowbar and then placed a banana peel by their feet
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Hi, we’re doing a project in my Lit Class.

Luther: I’m about take your EDITING RIGHTS WAY, I SWEAR TO GOD!

~~~

Diego, face timing his mom: Oh, my mom said she’s going to cut me when I get home

~~~

Allison: This is too much of a struggle

“You are just finding a picture of Kermit the Frog”

Allison: Still!!!!!!

~~~

Klaus: [Writing Kermit x Garfield fanfiction]

“What the hell are you doing?”

Klaus: Our project

~~~

Five: Klaus, you write that Kermit and Garfield fanfiction

~~~

Ben: We’re doing everything that’s required, we won’t get a bad grade

~~~

Vanya: [Looking at Elon Musk memes]

~~~

Cha-Cha: God, he’s ain’t here I can’t watch her badly flirt with him

~~~

Hazel: I’m about to die, make sure to tell my plant that I love him

~~~

Grace: First you snap your fingers, then you snap their neck

~~~

Reginald: I fucking hate the hallway because people don’t know how to fucking walk!!

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