Klaus: Five sent me a get better soon card
Diego: Oh, that’s nice-
Five: He’s not sick, I just think he could do fucking better with his life
Diego:
Klaus, admiring his card with tears in his eyes: I’m framing this
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Five: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Klaus: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
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Y/n: You think you're smarter than everyone else
Five: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am
Diego: Cocky bastard for a guy who's mentally 40+ years older than his girlfriend
Five: Fuck off- I know where you sleep asshole
Diego: And I know where your girlfriend sleeps
Five: Are you threatening my girlfriend?
Diego, rubbing your head: I could never hurt this cute head. But I could hurt you
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Klaus: Has anyone seen my séance candle?
Diego: You mean the one you light to talk to the dead?
Klaus: No, the one I light to set the mood for my bath.
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Five: Family isn't who you're born with, it's who you'd die for!
Five, looking at his siblings: And in this case possibly "with"
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Diego: I’m not a father figure
Lila: what are you doing?
Diego, holding a knife over a sandwich: Stan doesn’t like the crusts
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Five: You know what? I don't want to continue this conversation
One of his siblings: Okay? And what are you going to do? We have to talk!
Five: This
Five: HELP THIS STRANGER IS TRYING TO KIDNAP ME
Five bolts in the opposite direction
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Diego: god, you have daddy issues
Lila: Can't have daddy issues if I've never had a dad!
Five: that's literally the definition of daddy issues
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Diego Hargreeves: Between Victor, Allison, Ben, and Luther -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
Five Hargreeves: None of them. You’re my siblings, I wouldn't punch any of you.
Diego Hargreeves: Luther?
Five Hargreeves: Yeah, but I don't know why.
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diego: i learned some very valuable lessons from this.
luther: i'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
diego: death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
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Klaus: What's the straightest thing you've ever done?
Five: *sighs*
Five: I killed a man
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Diego: What’s going on?
Klaus: I’ve been showing Five all the things he missed while he was in the apocalypse
Five, halfway through his fifth rewatch of Descendants: SHUT THE FUCK UP IDIOTS, CARLOS IS ABOUT TO OVERCOME HIS FEAR OF DOGS
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Diego: The great thing about apologies is that you don’t have to mean them
Diego: You know, I lie and tell Luther I’m sorry all the time
Luther: *glares at him*
Diego: I’m sorry
Diego: See?
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Y/n: I think I'm falling for you
Five: Then get up
Y/n: Right, why didn't I think of that? How stupid of me
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Klaus: Hey Diego, have you ever considered becoming a magician?
Diego: What? Why would I become a magician?
Klaus: Because you could finally learn how to make Dad's disappointment disappear.
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tua as shit my friends have said 45/?
Five, sitting in a library: Hell is empty and the devils are here
a stranger sitting next to them turns slowly to look back at them confused:
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