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unicornblossom13 · 1 year

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Wukong: You don’t know anything about me.

Macaque: I know everything about you. You are an open book written for very dumb children.

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #lmk #incorrect monkie kid quotes #sun wukong #lmk wukong #six eared macaque #lmk macaque #sun wuking x macaque #macaque x wukong #shadowpeach #source: the umbrella academy

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ourgoddessathena · 1 year

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Reginald : "Why did all of you behave like that?! What did i ever do to you?!"

Luther : "...."

Diego : "...."

Allison : "...."

Klaus : "...."

Five : "...."

Ben : "...."

Viktor : "...."

Y/N : "As the witness, do you want the list ordered chronologically or alphabetized?"

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shit-people-probably-didnt-say · 1 year

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Kid!Klaus: *Wakes up in a hole* What’re you doing!?

Kid!Five: *Shovelling dirt on him* Burying you

Kid!Klaus: What? But Im alive! Im still alive!

Kid!Five: Shhhh! You’re gonna wake Pogo! Shut up!

Reginald: *Comes out to see why the children are out of bed* Number Five! Stop this nonsense at once!

Reginald: I trained you better than this. The subject must be incapacitated before burial. You’ve placed no bindings! No gag! He’s fully conscious! Pitiful attempt at an otherwise easy task! Hmph

#more Addams family vibes than Five actually wanting to hurt Klaus #Klaus probably did something petty that kids do so Five sought revenge #punishment by alive burial seemed appropriate #tua #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #tua shitpost #tua incorrect quotes #reginald hargreeves

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fiveapocalypse · 1 year

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Diego: how was the doctor?

Lila, covered in bandaids: I needed more treatment than he did!

Five, eating a lollipop: I got a lolly

Lila: you almost scratched my eye

Five: I got a lolly. It’s watermelon

Lila: he needs to come back soon to run tests because they think something might be wrong with his lungs, also he needs glasses

Five: I got a strawberry lolly too

Lila, sighing: and the doctor gave him a lolly

Five: it’s fruit flavored :)

#the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #five hargreeves centric #five hargreeves the boy #diego hargreeves #Lila Pitts #kid five & mom lila #tua incorrect quotes

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incorrect-kaishinshi · 2 years

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KID, whenever Conan almost killed him: Well, I'm glad my pain amuses you.

Conan: You have no idea. It's like my therapy.

#dcmk #magic kaito #kaishin #edogawa conan #kaito kid #incorrect dcmk #incorrect quotes #source: the umbrella academy

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elfecassepied · 2 years

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Some TUA incorrect quotes about God

Spoilers s3 I think?

God: Jesus is the kid who made me want to have more kids.

God: Klaus is the kid who made me regret to had 43 more.

__

Jesus: *die crucified* Hey mom, sorry I came home a little early.

God: Oh my sweet baby, don't worry I will give you a little add so you can say goodbye to your friends and then I will make cookies for when you came back :)

.

Klaus: *die* Sup' mom! I know you said I hadn't curfew but I'm here <3

God: I didn't say you hadn't curfew I said I disown you, get out of my house.

__

God: Jesus! My sweet baby, I love you so much 🥺. You're such a good kid, I was so mad when humans killed you! Didn't the abilities I gave you were good enough? *sob* I want more kids, I'm sure they will be sweetheart like you. This time I'm gonna make them fucking badass so humans can't fuck up my babies >:(

*creates the Marigold's children*

*17 years later*

Half of them are dead or are claimed missing. 13 of them have been traumatized by Reggie. Five fucked up time and reality. Viktor caused the apocalypse directly or indirectly three times. Christopher is a cube. Klaus keeps dying and being a disrespectful little bitch.

God: What I have done...

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Klaus: Why don't you just let me in the afterlife! Are you homophobic >:( ?

God: I'm literally a lesbian you're just an asshole.

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God: Yes I love all my children equally. Jesus, Viktor, Five, Allison, /insert all the names of the Marigold's children/ and *reading the palm of her hand* Klovs...

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Dave: *arriving in the afterlife* Hum, hello, are you God?

God: Since you're weird enough for falling in love with the ghosty bitch I don't know if it's a good idea of letting you in.

__

God "I created you so I can choose what I love or not": Yes I'm the superior being of life. An entity full of love and mercy.

Klaus: Hi.

God: Except for you.

#My personal headcanon is that God created the Marigold's children because she was nostalgic of her golden kid Jesus #tua incorrect quotes #tua spoilers #tua #Tua god #tua klaus #Tua god incorrect quotes #the umbrella academy #Tua Marigold's children

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turbourbo · 2 years

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Luther: *sets mug in front of Five* Here you go, Five, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Five: *touches mug* It’s cold.

Luther: A nice cup of coffee.

Five: *takes drink, immediately spits it out* It’s horrible!

Luther: Cup of coffee.

Five: I’m not even sure if this IS coffee!

Luther: A cup.

#the umbrella academy #tua #luther hargreeves #five hargreeves #the kid wants coffee #tua incorrect quotes

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yoongiscreature · 2 years

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hi people, follow me if ur hot or if u share any of these interests w me:

bts txt stray kids ateez shifting realities harry styles gothic fashion hyperpop non-binary queer things a24 movies maya hawke and any of the tags

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enkvyu · 8 months

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HIII I HEARD UR TAKING REQUESTS!!! (I think if not jus ignore this) bf headcanons with geto plzzzz :( hes just a silly lil guy (I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOD) anwzzz have a gud day :33

getou as your bf headcannons

thanks for the request anon, i hope you have a good day too !! btw ure so real he is just a lil guy ☹️ he isn’t defined by his actions (what murder?) he’s just a babygirl ! i wrote this for teen getou but then i thought might as well do a few thoughts on adult getou. i hope this is okay!

teen getou

you confessed first and getou laughed it off, thinking you just wanted to copy his homework. but when he saw you slowly turn red, he realised that this was the real deal. super awkward confession and you tease him about it all the time, professing your love to him every time you need something from him just so he can recall the embarrassment he caused on that day

in the beginning of your relationship, he really wanted you to wear his clothes and have it be a causal thing. but because he's nervous, and because shoko and gojo are bad influences, he decides the only way for you to comfortably ask for his shirts and jumpers was to wear yours first. gojo assures him you'll find it funny and realise that boundaries such as "yours" and "mine" will be blurred this point forward. taking his friends' advice, getou shimmies into your jujutsu uniform and knocks on your dorm door, posing to make you laugh. it's only when he sees the disbelief on your face that he regains his senses

the type to be looking at you no matter what he’s doing. you’re telling him about your day and he’s drinking water? he’s looking at you over the rim of the glass. you get called in class to answer a question you weren't paying attention to? getou is already looking at you, mouthing the (incorrect) answer. you’re comparing hand sizes? look up and you’ll find him looking at you instead of your interlocked fingers. it’s natural that he’s the first to notice when things are wrong, and the first to tease you

the type to smile when he gets angry and make a face that says "what (kind of nonsense) are you talking about?" he deflects a lot in arguments and never yells, but his low voice is honestly scarier

no sense of personal space whatsoever (blame gojo) so if you want to make a move on him, you have to be very direct. it's a double-edged sword because he'll be teaching you boxing and cover your hand with his to reposition your posture, and only you will think something of it. but at the same time, you can simply wrap your arms around his neck, lean in, and he'll break out in a cold sweat and a blush. he's simple in that way

a girl's kind of guy. he'll hand you a cushion or a plushie if you sit down wearing a skirt or a dress and if there isn't any, he'll wordlessly take off his jacket and hand it to you. always has a spare hairband around his wrist but he doesn't tell you that he also uses it to close off open chip bags when he can't finish them in one sitting. sometimes you do wonder why it smells like salt and vinegar

will take something of yours just so you can ask him for help. if it's raining, he'll take your umbrella so the two of you can walk home under his. of course, he'll be the one walking on the outer edge of the path

getou's a gym rat. wakes up chugs a protein shake (doesn't use a blender, shaking it super hard is enough). usually focuses on arms and abdomen and loves to show off whether it's through boxing or doing push ups with you on his back. objectively, he's really fit but there's something about him walking around his dorm shirtless just to catch a glimpse of himself being Buff that's annoying

thinks he can charm his way out of any situation (he can). he was praised a lot as a kid for being pretty and kind which led him to slipping out of situations he didn't want to be in just by smiling. he thinks the same thing can work on you (usually it does)

late night missions means sleep deprivation for class the next morning, and you carry the bulk of it after three consecutive missions. the next morning, even yaga winces at the heavy bags under your eyes. of course, it’s your boyfriend who’s by your side first. he does most of the talking that day and doesn't say anything when you doze off mid-sentence. he even angles his body so your head can comfortably rest on his shoulder and doesn’t say (much) anything when he sees you drooling. you notice that throughout the day, his hand is always hovering your back

extra — adult getou:

has the habit of talking to you like you're a stray kitten sometimes. there's a benevolent smile on his face and his words are soft, coaxing you out gently as if you were buzzing to flee. it's something he developed after raising nanako and mimiko, but it works just as well on you, too

he still does the same "what the fuck?" smile when he gets angry, but there's a sinister edge to it now, like he's waiting to see how far you can push it before he does something about it

an absolutely terrible chef. perhaps it's because his tastebuds has been destroyed by his technique and cigarettes, but everything he makes is either too salty, too bland, too spicy or everything in between. his culinary skills are fine, and his presentation is frankly award winning but take one bite and you're rushed to the hospital. usually, the two of you just go out for dinner or order uber eats

likes the sensation of someone playing with his hair. whether it's getting you to dry his hair after he gets out of the shower, or allowing himself to be a mannequin to your sudden desire at being a hair stylist, he's satisfied

still likes walking around shirtless or in a shirt that is half open (just take it off at that point) but at least this time, you also get a view. his confidence in his body has skyrocketed, and now it's one of the main thing he uses to get a reaction out of you. if you call him out for it, he'll just :3 "what do you mean?"

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booskwan · 20 days

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targeted boycotts are as we know the most efficient and this isn’t me calling for a boycott, but to keep people informed below the cut are lists of kpop artists with affiliations to labels mentioned on zionistsinmusic on twitter

UMG (under an american umbrella label it owns or has joint shares in highup ent [kor releases only], yg ent [bp kor releases only], the black label [somi and taeyang's kor releases only]; under capitol music group it owns or has joint shares in sm ent; under republic it owns or has joing shares in big hit [txt kor releases only], jype [twice, skz, and itzy's kor releases only], under universal music japan it has u-cube a "joint venture with" cube ent, virgin music > republic records > used as an imprint for txt jp releases; through third party distribution umg is affiliated with yuehua ent) - 4minute, apink, ateez, beast, bigbang, blackpink, boys republic (actually managed by umg), btob, bts, dean, everglow, snsd, infinite, iu, iz*one, kep1er, lim youngwoong, loona (japan), miss a (since 2012), monsta x, nct 127, p1harmony, psy (since 2012), rainbow, stray kids, shinee, somi, stayc, super junior, t-ara, the rose, triples, tri.be, twice, txt, wonder girls, xikers, and zerobaseone

note: a lot of these have (south korea) next to the name, i don’t know if that means they only have a deal for that country because other artists like stray kids and lim youngwoong don’t have that specification

REPUBLIC (owned by umg) - itzy, nayeon, nmixx, stray kids, txt, tri.be, twice, vcha

SONY (owns columbia, wakeone, dreamcatcher company; distributes modhaus, chrome ent, kq ent, starship, top media, wakeone, wm ent) - riize, ive, ateez, bts, brown eyed girls, wjsn, crayon pop, dreamcatcher, everglow, exid, monsta x's i.m (astrisked, can't find why), kep1er, lim youngwoong, stayc, tfn/t1419, the rose, triples, wings, xikers, zerobaseone

COLUMBIA (owned by sony) - ateez, ive (usa), kep1er, p1harmony, stayc, triples, treasure (usa), xikers, zerobaseone

VIRGIN (owned by umg) - nct 127, shinee (japan)

WARNER (through warner records it owns or has shares in sm [aespa kor releases only]; included in their international labels is warner music korea which is an international copyright holder and distributor for brand new music [younite, ab6ix, as one, eluphant, miss s] and keystone ent [blank2y]) - aespa (outside of sk), b1a4, bigbang, cherry bullet, choi junhee/choi seoah/juniel (taiwan and japan), cn blue, day6, ft island, got7, iu, jyj, kep1er, loossemble, loona, p1harmony, sf9, twice

ATLANTIC (owned by warner) - got7, iu, kep1er, loossemble, p1harmony, sf9

as always if any of this information is incorrect or outdated, please feel free to correct me in a reblog or an ask and i'll update the information in this post. i'll try to keep up with any new companies that are brought up on the twitter account mentioned at the beginning of this post. i'm not here to call for a boycott of every artist mentioned here because i don't feel i am in the position to do so, but i'm not discouraging you from choosing to do so. in fact i encourage you to listen to these artists unofficially at the very least.

i'm not sure the extent to which these companies get revenue from these artists, i don't know if it's just streams or if other things like merch sales and youtube views contribute but quite a few of these artists' companies are being boycotted currently or in the near future anyway, so i would suggest you not buy any merch or watch youtube videos officially from them. this post has more info on downloading music, youtube videos (with subtitles), and the boycotts i mentioned so i hope you all will check that out too. tris @bandzboy has also been posting about and sharing twitter posts about zionism in music, especially in the kpop industry so i suggest you check out her blog as well

#also in researching for this i found that warner music literally has an israel branch so #please forgive the sources being wikipedia i don't have the brain power to click through more links today #kpop #kpop boycott #hybedivestfromzionism #hybe boycott #palestine #free palestine #gaza #free gaza #from the river to the sea #tris i hope you don't mind the mention!#long post #forgot to include hybe because people already know about that but all hybe artists are also included ofc

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tabbycat-of-hatchetfield · 2 months

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Hatchetfield is No Place For a Tabby Cat - Chapter 2 - The Death of Great Uncle Brutus

At 10 o’clock, the quiet pleasure of Saturday was interrupted by the sound of Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock blaring through the household, which Tabby immediately registered as her mother’s ringtone. Thinking nothing of it, she turned back to Levi, currently advancing on her with a toy sword. She swung at him with her own sword, or as close to one as she had, which happened to be an umbrella shaped like a frog.

“Argh, me matey!” She pushed him by the shoulder. “If ye shall defeat me in a swordfight-“

Tabby was cut off by the sound of her mother’s voice in the other room. First it was crying, then it was sounds of intrigue.

“Hang on a second, matey.” She dropped the froggy umbrella at her feet and peeked around into the dining room. Her mother was nodding along to the voice on her phone, tears staining her cheeks.

“Mom? Is something wrong?” Tabby joined her mother in front of the table, faking sympathy, for she was still very bitter over her mother’s comments on her hair earlier that morning.

Her mother put the phone down, tucking it in her pocket. “Tabatha, go get your father. He and I need to have a chat about something.”

That “chat” that took place in the dining room seemed to last hours. Tabby had a morbid sense of curiosity; whatever it was piqued her interest. Levi seemed to have the same train of thought. Every few minutes, he would place his ear up against the wall, only for Tabby to pull him back again.

“Patience, stinkerbell.” She warned. “Mom and Dad are having an adult conversation.”

Levi cocked his head to one side like a puppy. “What are they talking about?”

“Adult stuff.”

“Like kissing and taxes?”

“Just like that.”

“I don’t wanna pay taxes.”

“What about kissing?”

“Nah. Gabriel says girls have cooties.”

“Oh, that is it!” She lunged at him, tickling him until he was red in the face. He rolled away from her, sitting up once he was a solid yard away, laughing like a hyena.

“Tabatha! Levi! Into the dining room, please, we need a word with you both!” Their mother’s voice sounded like one of the incorrect buzzers on a game show, something Tabby was far too familiar with, what with the amount of times she got yelled at per week. She grabbed her brother by the shoulder and led him out to the dining room, where their parents sat surrounded by papers and pens.

“Kids, we have some bad news.” Their father began. “Your great uncle Brutus passed away a few days ago…grandma just called to let us know.”

“Crazy uncle Brutus from Michigan? The one who thought trees could talk? The one who drew weird mouths and eyeballs all over his walls? The one who thought people could turn into squirrels?”

“Yes…that uncle Brutus. Brutus Waylon-Fischer. He passed away after some complications with his lungs, you know how it is in old age…”

Tabby felt barely anything. She knew she should have been sad, but she had met Uncle Brutus exactly once, before Levi was even born. She had been 9 years old, and the man had scared the shit out of her with some story about demons he called ‘Lords of the Black and White’.

“Oh…that’s such a shame…” She forced a sad look onto her face.

“That sucks.” Levi shrugged, to which their mother scowled at him.

“Language, young man!”

“It’s not even a bad word. You say it all the time.”

Their mother decided the argument with her 7-year-old wasn’t worth it, and looked back at Tabby. “I’m surprised you aren’t upset. You were a wreck when Aunt Trisha died!”

“Aunt Trisha took care of me for most of elementary school. I watched Aunt Trisha go insane until it killed her. That’s different from an old guy with a collapsed lung.” She deadpanned. “Now what’s with all the paperwork? Funeral planning? Can’t grandma do that?”

“Grandma already did all the funeral planning. This is a copy of Great Uncle Brutus’s will.” Their father patted a piece of paper on the top of the pile. “Come read for yourself.”

The Last Will and Testament of Mister Brutus James Waylon-Fischer

‘To my niece, Mrs. Samantha Danehower, her husband, Mr. Harvey Danehower, and their children, I leave the deed to my old home on Hickory Lane here in Hatchetfield, Michigan, as well as the acres surrounding it, and the old car in the garage, and any sum of money left in my possession. To my great niece, Ms. Tabtatha Danehower, I leave my old desk and its contents, which she can find in the attic bedroom of number 6 Hickory Lane, in hopes she will find the items it contains of interest. To my great nephew, young Levi Danehower, I leave the basket of toys, located behind the desk. It is my hope that he is not yet too old to enjoy playing with them. To my half-sister, Ms. Eloise Fischer, I leave nothing but memories of myself. Let it be known that her refusal to welcome the Lords in Black into her heart is what finally convinced me to cut ties with her.

Tabby read over the will again and again, trying to pry for any clue as to why the hell her great uncle had left her, a kid he barely knew existed, one of his worldly possessions. Her whole family had been left the house and the money, but the prospect of something being there waiting just for her was new and exciting.

“So…what are we going to do? Go out to Hatchetfield to claim the items?” She met her father’s eyes, which twinkled with mischief much like her own. “Not exactly, Tabs. Your mother and I agree that moving into that old house would be good for us. More space. You and Levi wouldn’t have to share a room any more, and we’d have a real yard instead of just the apartment courtyard! You remember the house, right? It’s the big red one, white trim, it’s got that massive weeping willow tree in the front yard? We stayed there once when you were younger–it’s got so many bedrooms, even Raisin could have his own! I’ve already hired remodelers who are gonna update the kitchen and bathrooms, maybe give it a new paint job, install some more ventilation, but…I think this’ll be a good thing for us! A new home, a new town, a new school…”

“A new church!” Mrs. Danehower put in helpfully.

“That too, that too. What do you say, Tabs, Levi? Adventure awaits?”

#tabby cat chat #hatchetfield oc #hatchetfield #not rp #HINPFATC #my ocs #my writing #tabatha danehower #tabby danehower

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shit-people-probably-didnt-say · 1 year

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Kid!Klaus: *desperately wiggling a loose tooth so he can force santa and the tooth fairy to meet and fight*

#seems the nonsense hed pull if these kids knew what either santa or the tooth fairy was #tua #the umbrella academy #tua shitpost #tua incorrect quotes #klaus hargreeves

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hidingoutbackstage · 10 months

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so im coming to you, the leading scientist in ashley graham-ology, to say you are SO right. there is literally no difference between ashley in the original and the remakes. they didn't make improve on her characterization, they just gave her scenes that endear her to the player, and even though they're very sweet moments... they don't give us anything new? i mean, it's nice for her to have moments where she can express her feelings, i mean she's been kidnapped and taken to a foreign village so thats going to be at the forefront of her mind, but we get nothing deeper about her. frankly, we get more new characterization from the sorority sticker on her phone and her casual outfit than we do in most of the new scenes. everyone else gets retooled stories, and she is very much the same. and, imo, at best she is a slightly more polished version of her old self (which is not saying much because she was never given a lot to begin with), and at worst she feels like she falls into only being important when it comes to leons development. anyways srry 4 rambling but yes! I agree with you!

You’re right in every way ugh I hate it so much. Like they COULD have expanded upon her in a way that both fit the context and the narrative while still making her a more fleshed out character. Luis got a whole ass backstory and people keep drawing cutesy art of him with his old team of Umbrella researchers who we never knew and don’t matter, but people only talk about Ashley in the context of Leon.

And the problem is that the game does this too! It isn’t just fandom misogyny this time (though that’s obviously at play sometimes) but everything Ashley does is just her being a victim, or relating her to Leon. Even the funny and cute stuff brought over from the og doesn’t get to be about her! Ashley operating the wrecking ball is a setup for Leon to comment on “what they’re teaching kids these days” when in the og it’s unexplained and that kinda implies it’s just something she knows how to do. And it’s funny without context, but in the game the context they give just makes her look stupid for comparing it to driver’s ed.

She helps put out the fire on Leon after his fight with Mendez. See? She’s helpful now! She tries to hit Leon with a candelabra when he shows up instead of cowering in terror like in the og. See? She’s #girlboss now! She doesn’t flirt with him or call him a pervert for acting like a pervert. See? She’s mature now! She says “We can protect the U.S. from all threats!” See? She’s patriotic now! She’s mind controlled and holds a knife up to her throat instead of panicking and running in fear. See? She’s less of a crybaby now! She gets one (1) good outfit (that only came with preordered games) See? She has personality now! (except it’s entirely cosmetic and has no effect on how she is in game) She now has a slimmer face, blue eyes, obvious makeup on, and her hair covers her “dumbo ears.” See? She’s attractive now!

But she doesn’t get a motherfucking personality, when she’s the ONLY character who didn’t get one. Luis gets more backstory, Krauser gets more (incorrect/conflicting) backstory, motherfucking SALAZAR gets more backstory. But not Ashley! Not the g-d damn, entire focal point and center of the entire game, not the main female character, she gets g-d damn nothing!

Here, off the top of my head, here’s little bits of dialogue that could deepen her character yet still fit in the game

A: I can’t wait to see my dad again. I miss him so much.

L: You two close?

A: Yeah. He’s a great dad. He had to be, we’re the only family each other’s got

L: I promise I’ll get you home safe, Ashley.

or, alternatively

A: I’m so nervous to see my dad again. I hope he isn’t mad about the kidnapping

L: Mad? It’s not your fault

A: I know, but…it feels like it is. It feels like I did something wrong. I shouldn’t have been caught.

L: It isn’t your fault, Ashley, and I’m sure your dad won’t be upset. He’ll be happy to see you

A: I hope so

or, again alternatively

A: So, how’d you become an agent anyway? My bodyguards, [name and name] say you’re the best in the business.

L: It’s a long story

A: Tell me when we get back, then?

L: Sure. It’s not very fun, though

A: What’s that supposed to mean?

L: Nothing, don’t worry about it…let’s just say, it involves someone you remind me of

(there so all the fangirls can cry about how emo Leon is while Ashley gets confirmed to have relationships)

or,

A: I can’t believe I went to that party. I didn’t even want to go.

L: Why’d you go, then?

A: My sorority sisters told me to come. I wasn’t gonna turn them down.

L: They good friends?

A: Not really. More like colleagues, I guess

or,

L: They took your jacket

A: Yeah. They can keep it, honestly. I never liked that thing

L: Why wear it, then?

A: Dad says it looks good for public appearances

See? Would it have been that hard?

#sid answers #theonlyadawong #sid bitches #resident evil #ashley graham #sorry to go off like that. honored to be the leading scientist in ashley graham-ology tho

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real-total-drama-takes · 8 months

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turning quotes from my friends into td incorrect quotes

ripper: this tastes like chase chase: yeah I think he drank my pee *zee walks into the room* damien: so you either bit him, kissed him, or drank his pee zee: all of the above

cameron: so what's this public meeting about? zoey: oh I said public beating...

julia: idk they're either they're either talking about youtube shorts or making out

bridgette, holding an umbrella cover: never have I ever seen a more beautiful condom geoff: this is how we have safe sex kids

duncan: I want to sit next to my son while I beat him

ezekiel: I don't even have to shower anymore

eva: what is he brings his 4 crackhead friends who are all exactly like him but different races to fill the diversity quote? WHAT IF HE BRINGS YOUNGBOY AND FUCKS YOUR MOM? idk who to put but this was said next: buy an ar-15 and shoot discriminately at black people. ok. maybe that's a bit dramatic.

tyler: I wouldn't tell a male stranger to kiss me on my hot mouth. definitely did not happen during 8th period history. tyler, again: nah it was the way he was dressed he had it coming

millie: welcome to furry impact

cody: those are some big boobies

priya: e. coli is saving my life

heather, motioning at sierra: she took my phone and put it in her boobs

chef: in this first paragraph blaineley said "put away your phones" three times. I don't believe in that. Keep your phones chef, again: is she obsessed with phones or something? duncan: she's pregnant

mk: out of here. racism w.

cody: let cody show you how it's done

cody: gimme two years I'll be taller than you trent: say on god cody: I'm not gonna say on god it's not gonna happen

.

#total drama #tw racism ment #tw racism jokes

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random-jot · 2 years

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We as a society need to get over hary potter and back into BATMAN

no more swivel stands in shops with hp merchandise on it, we have progressed past the need

Sick of kids, and frankly too many adults, coming into a shop and going ‘wOw, hArRy PoTtEr’ - which is the incorrect reaction to seeing HP stuff, it should be ‘ugh, still?’

I dream of a world wheee they enter a shop and go ‘WOW, BATMAN!,’ which is the correct reaction to seeing Batman stuff, always

And I’m talking, Batman TAS style, cartoon, y’know not afraid to be a bit campy, not so broody that it’s not really for kids anymore, but still broody enough to be very cool and badass. Y’know, I’m talking BATMAN

Take that purse with Dobbt on it and get it outta here. Make it a purse with TWO-FACE on it. He has. A two sided coin. Perfect character to have on a purse

Have coasters with Riddles on them for The Riddler. Swap out that Ron & Hermione locket for a Harlivy one.

A Penguin themed kids umbrella.

Joker Jigsaw.

A torch with the bat-signal on it.

Bane.

Just. just have Bane.

There’s so much good Batman stuff out there we gotta. We gotta have more BATMAN.

hp is OUT. BATMAN is IN.

Who cares about your hog warts house, which member of the BAT-FAM would you be?

In conclusion, I work in a shop that has a Hp swivel stand and I’m sick of it, plus I’ve been getting more into BATMAN lately. It’s freakin’ bats 🦇 and it’s cool af

BATMAN would respect your pronouns

Bring back BATMAN. Whoo.

#rambling jot #I just think that Batman #I am tired #both literally and also tired of pretending to be interested in hp anymore when customers talk about it #Batman #Gotham #batman rogues #Harley Quinn #poison Ivy #bane #joker #the penguin #two face

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needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves · 2 years

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There is a encanto incorrect quote and pepa and Felix go to their daughters first grade parent teacher conference and Dolores’s teacher mentions a assignment that the class had to do and the teacher says that One of the pages Dolores wrote “ I hear my mommy and daddy wrestling every night I think my daddy is winning most of the time because the sounds mommy makes” and it’s a pic with. Dolores standing near her parents bedroom and A speech bubble with pepa saying AH~ and pepa and Felix are shocked and they ground her for a week so can you write a funny fic about it? ( I asked you too do it because you are very talented and you do it better than anyone I know).

Oh my god I KNOW the fucking tumblr- i ADORE it, let's do it, let's GO!

"I love how you have a box of tissues already at the table."

Félix chuckled as he sat down. Pepa gave him a light glare, signalling him to behave. It was their first ever parent teacher conference (at least from the parent's end), and Pepa was a bit more nervous than usual. It was why the room was just a TOUCH windy, forcing the teacher, Mrs. Sánchez, to put on her coat. She was a very understanding lady, never complaining about any of their powers.

"Well, tears happen often in my line of work. Now, I'd like to thank you both for coming, I know it's difficult to make it to things, what with how busy you tend to get."

Pepa gave a light shake of her head.

"Oh it's no trouble. Our daughter comes before any of that."

"That's wonderful to hear. Now, first things first. Your daughter is a DELIGHT to have in the class. She's very smart, and once she's comfortable, she plays nicely with the other children. Genuinely, she's a treat to have in the class."

"Shit, better than me. I was a menace at her age. But with a mother like this, it's no wonder she ended up so wonderful."

The teacher ended up having to take off her jacket as Félix kissed Pepa's hand, making sun and rainbows pop up over her head.

"She has very loving parents. That's uh, actually why I wanted to talk to you both today. You see, we had a project about history. And we thought it'd be cute, to have the kids draw something about someone they look up to in the family. Dolores chose to draw about you two-oh I have an umbrella here."

She gave Pepa the umbrella as soon as she started to tear up. Could she help it? No! Her little baby looked up to them? Oh it was the sweetest thing she'd ever heard! Mrs. Sánchez dug through her desk as Félix tried to ease his wife, just a bit.

"Easy mami, easy. We haven't even seen it yet! How cute is it?"

Pepa didn't know what to expect. But certainly not this. On a piece of paper, Dolores had written 'I hear my mommy and daddy wrestling every night. I think my daddy is winning most of the time, because of the noises mommy makes'. It was paired with a drawing of Dolores by her parent's bedroom, clearly snooping. She even put a text bubble by the door. A simple 'AH!' That spoke more than she herself possibly could. The cold came back again, and Pepa sat there, aghast and in disbelief. And what was Félix doing? Trying not to fucking laugh.

"Oh my god. Oh my fucking god-"

"Félix if I hear ONE chuckle out of you."

"I'm not laughing! I'm f-fine. In my defense though I do win a lot-"

"FÉLIX."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Félix was practically shaking from how badly he wanted to laugh. Of COURSE he'd think this was funny. Of fucking course he would. Pepa offered her an apologetic smile.

"Lo siento, Dolores has REALLY been putting her gift to use. She's very nosey, you understand."

"I get it. But it made things...awkward. I had my assistant hang up the drawings in the hallway, and he didn't look at them beforehand so. The children had many questions. One even asked if Félix was a pro wrestler."

"I'm so sorry- can I just step out for a second?"

"Go ahead."

Félix stepped out of the room, and as soon as he shut the door, he just. LAUGHED. Pepa took a deep breath, trying SO hard to keep her temper in check.

"Do you know any single parents?"

"A few. Why?"

"After today, I'm making myself a fucking widow."

Mrs.Sánchez chuckled, before reaching over to hold Pepa's hands.

"Pepa, relax for a minute here. I know this must be embarrassing, but we just have to go forward from here. I'm just asking you remind her to not be so nosey. It's been a bit, problematic. She's also blackmailing a teacher."

"Oh god, is it you?"

"No no, thankfully not. It's a male teacher. Dolores heard he was having an affair, and now she sort of uses it to get whatever she wants."

Pepa felt her grip onto the woman's hand as Félix continued to laugh outside.

"How does she know what that word is?!"

"She doesn't. She just knows when she says it, he lets her have extra recess and no homework."

Oh she needed to pray extra hard tonight, so her ass can hope she DOESN'T pop a vein somewhere.

"I am. SO embarrassed, really."

"I wouldn't be. She's still my favorite kid, and I LOVE her dearly. And I've dealt with magic kids before, don't forget I teach Isabela. And she's no saint either, let me tell you."

That made Pepa feel a BIT better, at least. Mrs.Sánchez pulled her hands away as Félix came in, clearly having had a good laugh.

"Okay, I'm back, it's out of my system. Now we'll have a talk with Dolores. She's a SMART girl, and I feel like she's sort of using it as an excuse to snoop."

"That's all I ask. And don't worry, I'll let her make another drawing for the wall tomorrow, so she's not left out."

"Gracias. Really, we appreciate it."

They shared a hand shake before they walked outside, to where Dolores was sitting at the playground, reading her book. She of course, heard her parents coming, and put her book away.

"Mami, papi!"

Félix dove in for a hug, only to be stopped by Pepa. Dolores immediately shrunk, knowing she was in trouble.

"Uh oh. Is it uh, about the teacher?"

"It's about you snooping, young lady. You're SO grounded, at least for a week."

Félix leaned in a bit to his wife, shrugging.

"Uh, HOW do we ground her?"

Pepa had put her in timeout before, but she couldn't be in the corner for a whole week. She thought about it for a second, fumbling.

"Er...no playing outside."

"Okay, me and papi can get more music practice then!"

"No music."

"Hey, Pepa, we are NOT taking away father daughter time, I put my foot down there."

They shared a glare between each other, and Pepa relented, seeing just how serious he was.

"Okay, fine. Er, no reading books."

"I need to for a book report."

"Uh, okay. No...no reading for fun!"

Félix raised a brow at her, and she couldn't blame him.

"No reading for fun. Seriously?"

"Until I think of something better! Now come on, time to go home."

Dolores shrugged as she grabbed onto Félix's hand, damn near skipping.

"Can I work on my doodle when we get home?"

"Of course you can, mija."

Pepa sighed. She'd figure out how to punish her. Eventually.

#asks #not transformers #encanto #suggestive ish #it was so hard to punish a kid like dolores #and the no reading for fun was actually a punishment i had as a kid #listen Dolores is sweet but in no way was that child innocent #it didn't help that Félix found it hard to punish her #and eventually Pepa found it hard to punish Camilo

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