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#incorrect voltron

Shiro: Coran, if you wanted to be healthier, why not come to me? I’m ripped as hell.

Lance: Shiro, health is about flexibility, a piece of mind, and bone strength, not building vanity muscles.

Shiro: Vanity Muscles? I use all of these.

Coran: Really? Even the large neck ones?

Shiro: They help me sleep upright on airplanes!

Lance: Well, there’s no reason to be defensive just because you don’t have the bone strength of a yogi. We all have our thing, you’re a muscler, I’m a boner.

Shiro: Shiro can do yoga. Shiro is a yoga beast. Watch give me a yoga to do.

Lance: Uh well, we’re in warrior pose now, but I suppose for you we can start in child’s pose.

Shiro: Shiro is not a child! Shiro is a Warrior! Hrrgggg! *gets into pose*

Lance: Aand *stretches back*

Shiro: *Cracks*

Coran: That didn’t sound good. Are you okay Shiro?

Shiro: I’m fine, now if you excuse me, I am going to walk out of here normally using my trademark tiny steps.

454 notes · See All

Shiro: Keith would throw himself in front of a deadly laser for you

Lance: Keith would throw himself in front of a deadly laser for fun!

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Lance: You're not sweating.
Lotor: No.
Lance: How could you not be sweating?
Lotor: I don't sweat.
Lance: Everybody sweats.
Allura: Not Lotor.
Lance: What do you mean?
Lotor: Sweating is gross, so I don't do it.
Pidge: So what? You're just like... cold-blooded?
Lance (sarcastically): Lotor? Cold-blooded? What a surprise.
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Matt: Keith’s worried about his bike sitting idle so he wants us to take it out once a day. *tosses keys*
Shiro: I think you should do this. You’re more the biker type. I once watched you use a toothpick in public.
Matt: Bikes are death machines, I’m not risking it. I have a girlfriend and two robot kids!
Shiro: Are you saying my life matters less because I don’t conform to society’s hetero-normative, child-centric ideals?
Matt: Are you really playing the gay card right now!?
Shiro: (deadpan) Yas, queen. *tosses keys back along with a finger-snap*
718 notes · See All
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