Better Late Than Never!!
Yes!! As my title says its “better late than never” beacuse I have started writing on this site from today but was writing much elsewhere everyday.
So thought of sharing my first post which i wrote probably at the start of lockdown. Do read with all patience.
Believe in Yourself!!
Tough Right??
Challenging??
We have to do it!!
Life is not a told story to anyone, it's a journey we need to explore, experience and exist. We can't decide what's next for us. But we can surely plan for the next always. Now, when we know all these are unplanned and unexpected don't question if it happens, because you can't change what is to happen. As it's said, "People come into your life for 2 reasons either to teach you or to learn from you" and every person has their own role to play in the movie of our lives as we are also a role to their lives too. Thus, inevitably the fact remains the same, it is we who are going to plan what is to be done next. Never blame anyone for anything that happens to you because it is not the other person's always, we are also equally part of whatever happens in our lives. Good or bad, happy or sad, anything that happens to us is wholly because of what we planned it's all because of all our actions it's all because intentionally or unintentionally we created this for us. And at the end after all these we blame others, it's very easy to Blame but just sit back and think what went wrong, how it went wrong, don't think you alone are facing these situations without knowing what's happening around with the other person. If you have chosen a person to be a part of your life, if not on that person, believe in yourself at least that will make your life easier. Believe that you can never be wrong. Believe that you are perfect and that person will have no other option better than you. Believe that if the person is choosing someone above you he is losing the most important jewel. Believe that you need no one to be happy. Believe that you alone are enough to rule. Believe that you are Strong. Believe that you are perfect. Believe that you are you and will never change whatever happens. Just Believe.
Believe in Yourself.
Since at last you will be facing the world Alone.
~With Love, Care and Concern
Your's Nusrath
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“Dearest Mother” She wrote, her hand scrawling over dirty notebook paper; tears glistening down her cheeks. “Please take care of Maxi. I’m so sorry.”
She stepped back from the mahogany desk, feeling her heart ache with the decision she’d come to. This was it. This was finally it. The pain of life was going to come to an end, it had to. She could no longer bear to carry it. She could no longer fight the demons that invaded her mind, day in and out. The paranoia that crawled beneath ever skin cell and breathed anxiety in every step she took. The gnawing gnashing teeth of voices no one else could hear… always screaming.
By some grace of gods he enters the room, rapidly wiping at the tears staining her cheeks. His birthday.. he wanted a costume party for his birthday. But she wasn’t planning on being around, which only served to cause her deeper pain; knowing that she isn’t a good mother. That she’d never been a good mother.
The decision flops… Yet again. Imagining his crying face on his birthday without his mother… But was she even really here anymore? Locked away in her room, locked away in her head. Even leaving the house doesn’t help anymore. She’s imprisoned. Staring blankly or drinking herself to sleep. Just to escape the constant chant in her head.
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
Will it ever stop? Will her mind ever find a true moment of peace, of serenity? Would the voices quiet down the road or would they only get louder as they had? Would she turn out like her aunt? Crazier than a pissed off bull in a red room. Would she eventually put her head through a wall just to try and quiet them? Or would she follow her plan? The rope. You fall hard enough you snap your neck and die instantly. That’s what she wanted. A swift end to the suffering. All while they screamed.
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
Just please make it stop.
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
“You should die. You should be dead. They’d all be better off. They’re already doing fine without you.”
But she can’t. She never could.
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