This semester I'm teaching less classes and I hoped that it would left me with more energy to write my thesis. In the end, I just feel tired and then I have to remember myself that surviving 2022 has been really hard and it's natural to be tired, so I can take some time off. It's okay to take a nap since I worked so hard to be alive. The thesis will be written, the students' work will be graded… just after my nap.
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the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.
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{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}
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One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.
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