#it's been building up for a week or so

[arisaline73]

#wip? maybe? i still wanna change a few kittke things so we'll see #we're gonna say its finished for now #i finished this maybe a week ago and then the urge to post it has been building up since #so im posting it before my head explodes #last life #life series #traffic smp #trafficblr #scott smajor #smajor1995 #smajor fanart #idk what other tags to have #also no caption. only tags. i am whispering to you

[svtskneecaps]

"do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he created" except it's the qsmp admins realizing players including but not limited to forever, pierre, tazercraft, cellbit, phil, fit, bad, and etoiles are able and completely willing to break the server for reasons such as "to gamble more", or simply because it's funny

#qsmp #pierre crashed the server so they could gamble #fit could absolutely crash the server to gamble #etoiles is so cracked they had to spawn enough mobs to lag the server to pose a threat to him #phil has chayanne in pieces simply bc it's funny #bad would break the server to gamble and he is at the moment functionally immortal (22 totem pop tom over here) #tazercraft caught cucurucho in his chayanne pajamas breaking back into the nether and also shredded a federation build with a fucking drill #cellbit cracked their arg in like a week and may at this point have a more comprehensive lore document than the admin team lmfao #forever has been nerfed at LEAST twice and that's absolutely not gonna be the end of it #this is not an exhaustive list. god help the qsmp admin team. #shut up vic #block game brainrot

[touchmypixels]

this kitchen is going to be the death of me

#sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 #the sims #gameplay #interiors #ive been trying to build them a new house for like the last 2 weeks no joke lmao #then i was like ok im copying my sister's real life houses floorplan cause i love it and its adorable #but i am struggling with the size and color scheme #so thats fun #ALSO HELLO #wtf did tumblr do to photoset coding that my last 2 posts are fucked up on my theme ughghghghgh

[zeb-z]

bad and tina’s conversation today starting about what it truly means to be ‘okay’, and the importance of perspective. how people who are hurt one way can be okay another, or visa verca, how there are different kinds of ‘okay’, how those who are being asked if they’re okay can not know themselves that they’re not okay, because their sense of self or reality or perception of such can be warped. forever with the reality pills, for example.

bad, in that way that he does, feeling out if he can answer something honestly. asking roundabout questions and dodging those that he gets in return, until dropping the truth in a way that’s earth shattering, before pretending it’s a joke. only it isn’t a joke, it’s really a cry for help, he just can’t ever be straightforward about anything. not with himself, especially not with others.

he tells tina, finally, about what he’s been doing to himself. maybe because she wasn’t pressing to see if he’s okay, but pressing instead to see if he trusted her. and he’s been all about giving pieces of info to islanders lately to see if they’ve been trustworthy. this way he gets to ignore the fact that he’s not okay, gets to drop a truth bomb that is almost a cry for help, and trap tina with a secret so locked up it will definitely expose her as a traitor should it get out. outlandish enough he can pretend it’s a joke or lie to everyone else should push come to shove, because he’s ‘okay’ - of course he’s okay, why wouldn’t he be, it’s the eggs that aren’t okay.

but that’s the thing - being ‘okay’ is about perspective, and his has been terribly warped. he’s been color blind for weeks, he hardly looks at himself in the mirror, his sense of reality has been twisted due to sleep deprivation and grief.

their conversation ends with him, for the first time, acknowledging the fact that he is changing. finally taking tina literally, shocked that he’s physically turning blue. a shift in perspective. an admission, a self realization, however small, that he’s not as ‘okay’ as he thinks he is. he’s not okay at all.

#bad going ‘people can be not okay and not know it because their perception is warped. anyways tina I’m torturing myself and can’t tell - #- that I’m physically changing because of it’ like WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS BAD #‘it’s all about perspective’ and he’s been dropping for weeks now that his is flawed. color blind. hallucinating. etc etc. like for the love #of god #meta talk here but bbh is so good at setting up characters like this. so good at taking these conversations and using metaphors and #making a build up that has the littlest thing give meaning. going on a seemingly unrelated tangent and then with a few words tying it back #to everything important #ugh #mcyt #qsmp #q!bbh #bbh #q!tina #tinakitten #z speaks

[mllenugget]

Hey remember when Baghera adopted Dapper like 8 months ago or did I make that up ? ────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────

#idk why on earth i gave baghera knuckles- when i say i turn my brain off when I draw i mean it #i only noticed it after i was done with the shading and it jumpscared me #got me stuttering in confusion i have never drawn anthro arms/wings this way these dont even look like feathers wtf me ?? #..... sooo looks like ive got a new wa-cats type of fandom on my hands #as in i am still very emotionally attached to the memories i have from this no matter what i do itll keep coming back #but i havent read the books in several years nor do i plan to anymore and looking back i am so angry and disgusted #but also im still blown away by the creativity and the passion the fandom builds on its own #i wanted to go ahead and finish any art that ive been working on for the past almost year and decided this one would be the most fitting #i learnt last week that only the first 20 tags on an original post will show up in tumblr searches #and I think im going to take advantage of that #because i dont want to hype the server anymore and i have decided i will no longer be adding my watermark on top of my work #and i was going to refrain from tagging it because i dont want my related posts to show up #before remembering that some of my mutuals who ive been chatting to for years now #have these fandoms blacklisted #so im going to test it and hope it works #im still going to tag the characters i love though because i wanna show support to the actors and i wish them nothing but the best #baghera fanart #pomme fanart #dapper fanart #dappleduo #my art #mcyt #qsmp #fandom neg #tag this however you want #yap yap yap yap tlddr

[tomatoart]

why are you as a man ordering desserts 

#the batman #the riddler #Edward Nashton #edward nygma #the batman 2022 #queue are lovely #lowwwwwwwwwwwww effort.... i heart using this brush for a low effort doodles it makes me feel like im drawing w crayons on the puzzle mat #good morning i think next week ill q something not dc bc i have more multi media im just like rlly obsessed w btmn rn.... #i put the dots there bc im like playing w the sand w my shoes saying tht to u all. bc this is the 4th time ive crawled back to my dc ints #i used to like harley and robin i saw a lot of the og batman movie for robin hes my fav still . thats so unrelated but i like to think #im speaking to my regulars in my tags like we r at retirement homes breakfast bar #also keep drwing rddlbt hugging and kissing and im working up the courage to post that eventually i just rlly like t4t auti4auti #can you imagine the horrors. well i CAN #did he stick his finger in the coffee to make the question mark bc i cant see that being a good pour n thats so funny #also apologies for my semiabsence my life been weird..... im working on building myself back djkssjk #why did i misspell sm in tags well its readable enough augh ouhg

[lesbiancarat]

man, part of me really wants to type out a whole rant about this shit but I feel like if I do there won't really be a central point and it will just be a bunch of disjointed rambling. so all I'll say is I'm so fucking tired of svt being under a giant corporation. like regardless of opinion about pledis by itself/pre-hybe, at least then we a) knew what we were dealing with and b) had /some/ collective power as fans to influence the company (ex. getting closer MV and svt ring as merch incidents)

all the hybe acquisition did was add 10 more layers of politics onto everything. for every one thing you could argue hybe improved or fixed, there's like 100 other pieces of bullshit that got introduced directly or indirectly. and it's not even a situation of hybe trying to sabotage svt or whatever like some ppl try to fearmonger about, it's literally all just capitalism and trying to please shareholders and make a profit and I'm so fucking tired of it

#this isn't about any one thing btw this feeling has been building since the acquisition was first rumored #and there were a couple things in the last couple months or so that have just brought it all to the surface #but also i feel like im just frustrated bc a lot of this stuff i saw coming like 4 years ago when the acquisition was just a rumor #and like. idk with every passing year feeling vindicated in the worst way possible #bc i wish i was proven wrong #but capitalism always wins so i cant really be surprised #ugh kind of ended up ranting anyway hopefully im making sense #idk might end up deleting this later anyway #bc i like to keep this blog relatively positive for both my own and yalls sake #and idk if i have the energy to answer any asks that might arise from this either #esp since ive been having a stressful week at work too #but ugh we'll see #melia.txt

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me: sits down to write feeling full of inspiration

chronic pain: no 🙃

#sorry i just needed to vent #UGH #i mean obviously having a chronic pain condition is never fun #but when it decides to sink its teeth in when i just want an evening to capitalise on the inspiration that’s been building up all week #it’s just so frustrating #getting to sit down in the evenings to write is one of the few times i get to feel peaceful and comforted #and i’m just so done with my body taking that from me too #sorry i will resume my usual flaily milex posting soon i’m sure #but tonight i’m just feeling sad and a little bit scared of my own body #and my flatmate and best friend are otherwise occupied #so apparently i’m venting about it here instead #chronic pain #lulu posts

[vigilskeep]

tumblr likes to give me identity issues every now and then just to spice things up

#OKAY. going to get up. going to eat and shower. going to stop making posts. i will be back shortly #and you can all sit in with me on the character creator Process while i struggle #been cooking this one up for a week or so and im a little excited to see how they play in game #both the build i’m looking at and as a character

[cheapcheapfaker]

in case you were wondering why I’ve been a bit absent minded and sick lately. btw. it’s this guy.

#positive / very much wanted btw lmao #I personally hate when people go ‘I’m pregnant’ and I don’t know if I should say congrats or find the planned parenthood number yknow #I’d blame the Bean but it’s not the fetus’ fault my uterus has been pumping out so much estrogen #to build the baby chamber #anyway I’m now on prescription meds so instead of nauseous I’m just hungry #in a way I’ve never been hungry before #I pregamed dinner by walking to the taco shop and having a barbacoa taco and huge mound of pico #and still ate a full dinner two hours later #but. I’m 9 weeks now and I know they say wait until 12 but also #they saw a heart beat so unless the anatomy scan they’re like #‘woah that thang’s fucked up’ the Bean shouldn’t miscarry #so I’m telling now :) hai

[mob-choir]

It was the raging storm of a foreign war, and a face I'd seen before... | Mob Psycho 100 Season 3 Episode 10 + Pale White Horse by The Oh Hellos

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mp100 spoilers #kageyama shigeo #hanazawa teruki #well here i am dipping my toes in the mp100 fanvid scene #that episode was just too good i've been thinking about it 24/7 since it aired #so this is my tribute to it and the fantastic tonal shift it executed #i always found this song very good for building up tension #so i hope i did it justice with the pacing of these clips and the specific shots i chose #and of course i wouldn't be me if i didn't obsess over the timing. if every single thing isn't on beat i lose sleep over it #anyway please enjoy! #i'm excited to see how mp100 will rip out my heart next week (i've read the manga but still i'm not ready) #video.mp4 #edits.mp4

[sweetest-honeybee]

Y’all pray for my sanity for these next 2 days

#building inspections coming up at work and main managers making it EVERYONE’s problem 😂 #and has been since last week #lord have mercy #I’m about to be doing a lot of cleaning and being yelled at for every damn thing I do or don’t do #so we’ll see if I survive

[nihilismtrcit]

some exterior details pt. 1/???

#sorry i havent been around much 2day #building nonstop #and have not even finished the exterior #i think this will probs take the rest of the week tbh #but here are some details so far! #will b on tomorrow to catch up #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #sims 4 #house:clem

[httpiastri]

just some random hand & arm pics from recently because !! cars finally go vroom tomorrow !!!!!

#it’s official #this is no longer a writing blog #it’s a hand appreciation blog #🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 #jk im gonna try to calm down but there’s just been a lot of good hand content recently #and im so excited for the weekend that i want to post every hand pic i collect #building up my collection #also I have this post of clement hands that’s been sitting in my drafts for like a WEEK #just waiting for me to post it #i faint every time i see it #he makes me so weak #f1 #oscar piastri #mclaren #osc hands osc neck osc arms

[oifaaa]

the young justice show sucks because they made sportsmaster a bootleg Slade because functional evil family man Sportsmaster is funnier

Hard disagree the way the young justice cartoon said fuck it lets make sportsmaster into our bootleg deathstroke for absolutely no reason especially considering slade is also in the show is hilarious

#ask #anon #i do go to bat a wee bit for the yj cartoon #its what got me into dc comics #so i have a soft spot for it #its also just got that world building and trying to sort out the dc universe while putting a unique spin on it that i love #its not perfect but it is my bias so #also can someone please come to my house and force me to draw smth please #ive literally just been playing links dress up game for a week #i need to draw something

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.