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#it's too early to start planning in feb but i am anyway!!!!
manchasama · 1 year
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Not sure how long this is gonna be, my hand really hurts (and my back just kicking in lol thaaaaanks), just wanna get some thoughts out
Been recovering lately, defo feeling better but not there yet.  Been so stressed and busy since, well, November really.  But January and February defo took the cake.  Work was brutal, but I was taking advantage of an opportunity before it vanished.  In a better world, we would have started getting ready back in August when I first started asking (thinking that was late to start planning for the Feb event), but because of politics and all that guff we didn’t even get the go until late Dec/early Jan. 
I am not going to get into the details, but rest assured I was working my batutty off.  Then I got covid lol.  While in another state.  *throws hands up*
So yeah, it was about what I expected, with some minor differences.  Took a full week off work (which sucked bc half those days were supposed to be vacation recovery days, not sick recovery days), worked from home for a week and a half, and finally went back into the office today (tested negative a few times and took a few extra days anyway, it was fine). 
I just have this lingering cough that, guess what!  Gets worse when I talk!  *snickers*  That week off where I just slept a lot, I didn’t have a cough.  Minute I get back to work (remote but phone calls), suddenly I start coughing.  Bah!  So that leaves me pretty tired at the end of the day.  Also my back is acting up because of all the sedentary laying around I’ve been doing, but that will work itself out as I get more active again.  The biggest problem with today is for some reason my hand feels like it’s cramping up constantly, without actually cramping.  owie :(
Anyway, before my hand gives up, I just wanted to get some thoughts out that weren’t just whining.  I have been trying to keep my submas interest up (or any interest, let’s be real it’s hard for me to do anything extra when I’m so work tired) through the months, but leaving an avenue to revive the spark when I have the time and energy to work on it.  Threw on my submas playlist on the way home, and yeah, I’ve definitely forgotten what songs go to what scenes/ideas other than vibes.  Just need to do a few daydreaming sessions to pick some of it back up I think, plus go over my notes and all.
I’ve also been thinking I should just...post the raw ideas to Ao3.  Started thinking it when I saw a post going around about how...historians? I forget what their job/passion was, but people who like to ready histories, understand why people liked the stories they saved, highlights and notes in the margins, the every day small loves that don’t make the big history books, that sort of thing.  How those people were basically writing a love letter to people who save those little snippets, print out fanfics, things like that. 
I think it was another post, might have been the same, that was also encouraging people to use Ao3 as the archive it is.  It doesn’t have to be complete works.  It’s there to archive the words, that’s all. 
So yeah.  As much as I want to and intend to try to write the full stories, I’m thinking of just transferring some of the tumblr posts/ideas, some of the snippets from my notes, into Ao3.  Because I want to share the stories with people, and if I can’t write them in full, at least I can share the heart of the ideas.  I still need to transfer old fics to Ao3 too, unfinished as they are.  And I’m kinda hoping that new eyes and new interactions spark my interest again, get my brain going into story-mode again.
I’ve been trying to do some reblogging on my backlog of tumblr stuff.  I know I could just hit the heart button.  I know I could reblog without comment or tag.  But I really like leaving people comments.  It’s just another thing that takes a bit of energy, that I haven’t had too much of.  But doing a bit at a time is good too!
My pain and energy levels have prevented me from doing much of anything for so long.  I can’t say it will change much.  I spend time with friends, which don’t get me wrong i love, but it eats into my free time, and more importantly my energy.  I have a trip coming up in May, which yeah sounds so far away, but it will be upon me way faster than I expect.  Who knows when I’ll have another flare-up (hand plz im almost done), or if work is going to drain me.  But now that the hardest is behind me, I’m hoping to keep things reasonable and have a chance to be creative again.
I want to start my garden (made a few small moves toward that).  I want to make more bracelets, and maybe sell some (character bracelets!  seriously i love my submas bracelets, i wish i could take pictures that do the colors justice).  I want to hang out with friends.  I want to write.  I want to write.  I want to write my stories and share them so much.  Just need to wrangle my brain together.  Balance them to my energy.  And not let my responsibilities pull my mood down or stress me out too much (guh just thinking about some of them make me so tired buuuuh). 
Okay hand is too ow now.  If you made it this far, feel free to let me know what you think about posting the ideas to Ao3, even if I later post a full story about them.  Or anything really.  Gotta get my brain juices flowing again!
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txstars · 1 year
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hello miss tanya txstars do you have any tips for a first time game-goer,,, it's still quite a ways away (i convinced a friend go to the stars@canucks w/ me in march bc... alone is SCARY) but maybe tips like how early we should get there? (also if wearing team merch to wear to the game is a must? bc... i dont mind who wins between these two fans but i am a bit more of a stars girlie... but also rogers arena)
omg hello friend 🫶🏼
i will say that our experiences aren’t going to be exactly the same because as much as the aac does get hype and texas is a growing hockey market….i’m not entirely sure how it compares to a game at a popular canadian arena. but anyways…we ball.
the first time going to a game is definitely a bit spooky just because there’s a lot of factors that you have to think about. and it gets a bit hectic once you get there and you see all the people, but i promise it’s such an easy experience if you just go into it even slightly prepared.
i always start with figuring out transportation!! i don’t know how the commute is to rogers arena and if there are a multitude of other ways to get there bedsides driving yourself, but it’s best to start there. transportation always makes me the most nervous, so when i drive myself, or even if a friend is driving, i always make sure to figure out parking ahead. and preparing for any traffic there might be before the game means getting on the road earlier than you might think is necessary.
like for me i mostly take the train now so traffic isn’t something i really have to worry about but i DO have to factor in that it takes like an hour via train to get there.
what time you should arrive to the arena depends on a few things pretty much
1) how are you getting there? (again…are you or someone else driving? is there chance there’s going to be traffic on your way there?)
3) (if you’re driving) what is the parking situation like ? is it difficult? will it take a substantial amount of time to find a spot and get to the arena? etc etc.
2) do you want to watch warm-ups? and also how close do you want to be to the glass for warmups?
this is the chart i used when i first started going to games on my own and had to remember like what tf i was doing.
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the aac gets pretty popping for warmups and if you don’t get there at least like 20-30 minutes prior to warmups even starting…you’re going to have a bit of trouble finding a particularly fun place to stand to watch. so i can only imagine how it is for rogers arena…so take that into account as well!
im sure you were probably already planning on going to warm ups, but if you weren’t i absolutely think you should!!! they’re so fun to watch and being that close to the ice is always an experience, especially if it’s your first time. and like….seeing the guys up close. you really see in real life how big and fast they really are…crunch crunch. anyways
another thing you MIGHT want to factor in is if you want to also explore the arena a little bit. i like going to look at merch and the stars always have like fun stuff going on in the plaza that i like checking out beforehand. this obviously is just a very big what if, but just keep that in mind too!
when it comes to attire…i’ve definitely worn other teams jerseys before and no one has ever said anything to me. and i’ll be wearing my quinn jersey when they come here in feb so lol. it’s the same when other people wear opposing team jerseys. i don’t usually see anyone bothering them or anything. again, maybe the rogers arena is a completely different vibe because…you’re in the canadian market…but i also think it’s like. the stars. they aren’t exactly a team that canucks fans have severe beef with. and it’s not going to be such an intense game that peoples emotions are going to be running high or anything. so i think if you decide to go either way, you’ll be fine :-)
if there are any canucks fans who want to chime in here!! please feel free to correct me or let us known the vibe about wearing opposing team jerseys!!
these are pretty much the basics and what i personally follow when going to games!!! please let me know if you have any other questions or just want to know anything else. <333 i hope you and your friend have so much fun. tell quinn i said hi when you’re there <3
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leafiebeanie · 11 months
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sooooo, in lieu of the kny x oishii milk collab that's happening now, seeing kyo posing with the familiar packaging sparked a milky memory from a few years back ( ´ ▿ ` )
leafie's story time under the cut 🤭🤭
i was visiting jpn for the first time near the end of winter and the early beginnings of spring 2018 (so around late jan to early feb), and i've heard good things about japanese milk right
so first thing i did after landing in japan and checking into the hotel, i went to buy some milk from the konbini—first one i went to was family mart.
i got the oishii brand milk (true to its name, it's super tasty and i miss it every time i want to drink milk)
and you'd think that i would drink it immediately after buying it bc i was so excited to try it—but i had the brightest idea of drinking it after i took a shower. yknow, like how i saw them do in some animes (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
so i popped the milk in the fridge and went to take a hot bath
now, i'm a very forgetful person, and if it's out of sight, it's literally out of my mind (⇀ ↼‶) truly gone like my mans who left to buy milk from the milkstore and never came back jkjk
after my shower, i decided to look up places to go the next day and started making some plans with my family. then i went to sleep bc the eight hour flight had me tuckered out—man, it was lights out as soon as my head hit the pillow xDDDDD
i had a great night of sleep, all while my milk sat forgotten in the fridge 😅😅
and so you might think, okay well, surely you drank it when you remembered it the next day after another hot shower, right?
no
we had to check out of the hotel the next morning bc the actual hotel we were gonna stay at was further from the airport and closer to town
my milk was left behind in the fridge, unopened and forgotten 🥲🥲 (sometimes i wonder if the hotel staff found my milk and drank it themselves, but i doubt they would—bc common sense tells you it's extremely dumb and reckless to be drinking something that someone else left behind even though it looks like it's never been opened, bc there's always a chance that it's been tampered with)
anyway, sentiments for my forgotten milk aside, of course i have brilliant memory and remembered it only after we had checked out of the hotel and were halfway on the train to the next hotel (눈_눈)
i cursed myself for letting my milk slip away from me—but no matter, i can always get more today, or so i thought
so, when my parents were busy checking us into the second hotel, i went off to get another oishii milk packet from another konbini—this time i went to lawsons
and this time, i was determined to remember to drink it, but i was also stubborn and still wanted to drink it after i took a hot bath
obviously, i could've just bought two so i could just drink one now, and then the other after my bath later, right?
no
leafie is dumb and stubborn (not a great combi, let's be honest), so please keep that in mind as you enjoy the rest of this silly memory xD
and it was around noon, i think? or early afternoon when we got our rooms—and it was the perfect time for exploring town, so i tossed the milk into the fridge and left to akiba
believe it or not, all the excitement i had for the milk was gone bc i was busy being even more excited (ง ื▿ ื)ว about getting to explore akiba and harajuku (but regrettably, i was travelling with family, so i could only glance at the entire troves of bl mangas and doujins longingly for a whole 1.5 seconds bc it would be suspicious if i stared too long (ノ_<。)ヾ(´▽` )
but i digress, anyway—the sun sets so early in japan, like woah, it got dark so soon and most of the restaurants were closed when we were finally to eat (and while i am a foodie at heart, i somehow don't get hungry at all while i'm travelling ( ´ ▿ ` )), so we just grabbed a quick bento from the konbini and passed out on our beds soon after we got back to the hotel
side note: the orange juice from family mart is so so so so so so fresh and good omg, i miss it almost as much as i miss the milk tbh
so day 2 passed just like that, with a day well spent and feet well walked, and wallet slightly lighter than when i left the hotel that day (my coin purse grew heavier though, as i collected the loose change from breaking 1000 yen bills)
then come day 3—i was going to be in japan for slightly over a week, 9 days; so you might think, oh c'mon leafie, surely that's plenty of days for you to drink your goddamn milk!
again, no
day 3 was harajuku day, and boy was it raining when we got there
wearing two fuzzy jackets and two shirts were, understandably, quite a lot of layers when you're gonna be walking around a lot, plus the humidity from the rain and my tendency to sweat buckets—you can imagine that i looked like a wet rat that had just crawled out from the sewers x'DDD
my bangs were plastered across my forehead, i looked like a mess, and i wasn't used to the weather (i live in a tropical country where its either sun or rain xD), sweaty inside but cold outside :(((
but then it snowed a little at night!! though it wasn't like big big snowfall where you had fluffy snow everywhere, it was my first snow!! and it was fun just watching little ❄️ snowflakes ❄️ drifting down from the skies under the dim streetlamp
i'm sure you can already guess—i was too engrossed with the snow to remember my milk, all alone in the fridge
but i went to bed happy that night ☺️☺️
and then day 4 was... well, we don't talk about day 4, my family had a little argument bc some wanted to go back to harajuku for more shopping and some wanted to see new places
in the end, we went to the aquariums to see the fishies! took a few pics with the uhhh, bug looking creature that lives at the bottom of the ocean
it's a bit unsettling, but it was cute nonetheless
i sort of wish that i bought the stuffed toy version from the gift store tbh—i got a seal instead
this is starting to be more about the trip than the story about me forgetting my milk, so let's reel it back in and skip to day 9, the final day of my trip
note that i STILL haven't drank my milk despite having had 8 other days to do so 🤦🤦🤦
the return flight was in the evening, but we had to check out of the hotel at noon, so basically we spent the rest of the day at haneda airport
i had just reached the airport when i realised that yet again!!! i had forgotten my milk, left it in the fridge of the hotel and then checked out _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_
knowing that this was really my final chance to taste the milk, i ran to the konbini and bought the milk for the third time now, and this time! this time!!! i drank it straight away
andit was so good!!! so tasty, ive never had a milk so good before in my life—really made me regret not drinking it earlier—i could've had one for each day i was there!!!!! but nooooo, i just had to be stubborn and forgetful hahahahhahaha (눈_눈)
and that's the end of my little milky story
so guys, if you want to drink the milk, just do it! (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b
don't be me and say that it has to be done in the perfect manner bc you will miss that opportunity xD or almost miss it, really
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Setback or Opportunity?
Hello Darling,
 This is such a confusing time, but also a blessing in disguise. I am nervous of what will happen, but i am looking forward to look back at this moment and be grateful for it.
I did what I told myself about three times now that I’d do. Stop letting men (boys who think they are men) be apart of my life. I started dating last year after my 6 year break up just to find out idk what the point of being with someone is anymore. I feel that the guys I am dating add to my grief. So May of 2023, not only have i stopped drinking alcohol since Feb (not that I am an alcoholic, but because everyone drinks I feel obligated to drink with them and I honestly hate the weight gain, the acne, and the hangovers) so I stopped. (no longer letting what others think impact me) Anyways, Not only did that get cut out of my life, I am officially cutting off any romantic interests. I just don’t have an open heart for it anymore. I don’t even have a desire to be aroused period. I can’t even watch movies with lust in it anymore. I just want to see what happens if i force myself this time to stick to what i’ve always wanted to do. 
Here’s a little life update. 
1. I joined the circus. Not literally, but kind of. I started taking classes to learn acrobatics. I have learned silks, and Lyra so far. I love lyra! Silks i need to be more fit haha. I want to try trapeze next and hammocks.
2. I visited every free gym trial I could think of and am still on the hunt for the perfect gym where I don’t have to worry about running into anyone, and so far I found one, but it’s so far and they are not 24 hours, which is fine, but I am still struggling with my depression naps and do not wake up early enough before work.
3. I move out of my apartment on May 14, 2023. I decided to start my life fresh. As if I was a new born baby. I moved back in with my parents. My dad has already picked 5 arguments since I moved in and threatened he doesn’t want me here twice. I AM STANDING MY GROUND. It’s insane that I am doing this but i have to. I make really good money now and can afford living on my own without a man, which is what i’ve always wanted, but I want to be smart about this. I have never made this much money before and honestly do not trust myself. I need a few months before I can make rash decisions. Also, I feel like my parents relationship is no longer physically or too emotionally damaging since i did start therapy when I was out of the house for the past 16 years. I have done a lot of healing. My intention is while i am here be nice, be invisible, and stick to your plan of being debt free, physically fit, mentally healed, and striving for more, more, more. 
GASP.
My relationship with my parents is beyond toxic, but they agreed, and I will pay them monthly starting in July. This will allow me to pay off some debt I accumulated after losing 2 jobs in a row in 2022. 
4. I am still looking for a therapist covered under insurance, but it’s really hard. I thought about s**** my wrist yesterday. 
WOAH risk risk, but I am ok. sometimeS I have dark dark thoughts to make it easier, but i’ve learned over and over again, day by day, month by month, and year by year you just accept what has happened to you, keep going and hope karma gets to everyone else. 
5. Besides my depression and anxiety, I am making a list of things I really really want. I won’t buy any quick items anymore. Once i narrow it down to three i will be done for the year. My plan is to buy myself three things i really really want every year.
1. Personal Trainer
2. Dermatologist
3. Trip to a Foreign Country
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ssaalexblake · 4 years
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I need more garden space, i’m trying to plan out where to do all the vegetable planting and... I need more space. 
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theoreticslut · 3 years
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Sleepy Love Letters // f.w.
fred weasley x reader 
requested: yes
word count: 2.5k
warnings: none, fluff
A/N: oh good lord. I am literally so behind on requests of all kinds. I guess i’ve just really needed a break. I am (obviously) writing again, but I am taking it much slower than I had been and it’s truly just because I get burnt out and tired so much faster lately. This fic is from my 1.1k sleepover (i believe) which was back in feb, but I still have stuff from my end of the year party from late dec / early jan. Basically, at this point I’m working through things as I get the time and motivation for it. It’ll all just be mixed in. If you’re waiting for a fic, headcanon, blurb, letter, etc. just keep your eyes out for it on my blog OR you can always check the events and their respective tags under my navigation to find it. I am either working on it or getting my way to it. I promise. Thank you, seriously, to every single one of you that have sent requests in for misc. events or when I had my requests open - it means the WORLD to me and I am going to get to it. I just need the time. Anyways, that’s enough of my heartfelt blubbering. I hope you guys like this fic! Xx
A/N 2: I’ve had this saved in my drafts for weeks now and I’ve been dying to post it. I’m not really sure why I haven’t yet, but here it is!! I hope you like it just as much as I do!
“Y/n, how do you think you did?!” Fred asks as he catches up with you walking out of the great hall after your charms exam.
“Good. Didn’t think it was too hard at least.” You reply, stifling a yawn.
Fred notices and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. The two of you have been friends for years and he knows you're exhausted even if you won’t admit it.
You’ve always spent hours upon hours studying for a test, often opting to stay up real late at night. He can’t even count how many times he and George have come back from detention or setting up a prank to find you passed out at one of the tables in the common room.
It only got worse when it was a final. Fred had found you not only passed out in the common room with a book open in front of you or on your lap, but he’d see you with a book shoved in your face as you ate or anytime you had some free time. He’d watch as you almost obsessively run through flash cards.
He adored how dedicated you were to getting good grades, but he often worried about what you were doing to yourself staying up way past the point of exhaustion or eating the bare minimum as you were too focused on the book in front of you. You weren’t taking care of yourself the way you should and it bothered him more than he’d like to admit.
“I’m sure you did more than just good, sweetheart. You excited that it was the last one?”
“Thrilled. I can’t wait to be able to spend the summer going to the lake and camping. You and George have any plans?”
“Not many as of yet. I’m sure George is going to try to find any excuse to see Angelina.”
You chuckle, nodding in agreement with the redhead. The two of you have only watched George and Angie dance the line between friends and dating for a year and a half now. They were closer than ever to being together, they just wouldn’t quite admit it to each other.
Walking into the common room you were glad to find it quiet. You’d hate to admit it out loud, but all you really wanted to do is go lay down and maybe sleep for a bit.
“Come hang out in my room?” Fred asked, nodding towards the stairs for the boys’ dorms.
He watches as a tired smile fills your face before you give him a small nod.
“Yeah, alright. You have any products you need testing?”
He chuckles, a loving smile on his face in response to your question. Even though you’re dragging your feet and look about ready to pass out, you’re still asking about him and his passion.
“Not today. Maybe later next week though.  I just like your company.”
“I like yours, Fred.” You giggle, following him up the stairs.
“Well obviously, princess. Who doesn’t love having me in their company?” He chuckles, opening the door to his dorm.
“Good Godric,” you roll your eyes. “I think you need to check that ego of yours.”
“You love my big ego though, yeah?”
You shake your head as a smile finds its place on your face. You can’t help but let out a yawn as you take a seat on his bed while he sits down at the desk, watching you get comfortable.
“It definitely makes you interesting, Freddie.”
He smiles, watching as you stretch out, slowly making yourself more comfortable.
“You alright, y/n?” He asks as you let out a soft groan as you curl up in your side.
“Yeah. I’m just really tired, Freddie. Haven’t slept much lately.” You mumble, eyes already closed lightly.
“I’m sure, princess. You just rest for a bit. I’ll make sure you’re up in time for dinner.”
“Thank you.”
He smiles, watching as you tuck one of his pillows under your head. He’s always found you adorable when you’re sleepy. The few times he’s caught you napping in ginny’s room at the burrow, or on the couch down in the common room while your friends all talk, he’s felt his heart melt.
Not wanting to be creepy, though, he turns his attention to a joke product he’s been working on, listening to the gentle breathes leaving your body as you fall asleep.
~.~
You’ve been asleep for about a half hour now and Fred can’t help but admire you. Every time a little groan leaves your lips as you adjust your position, he can’t stop a smile from growing on his lips.
That’s not even mentioning how adorable you look curled up on his bed. Your laying on your stomach, with one leg stretched out while the other is pulled up to your side as you hug a pillow under your head and towards your chest. Your hair is sprawled out over his blankets, afternoon light reflecting of the silky strands.
He watches as your torso slowly rises and falls with your steady breathes and your eyelids flutter with your dreams. He watches as you ever so gently situate yourself from time to time.
He is so enamored with you at the moment he can’t help but want to share his feelings with the world. He’s loved you for a few years now, but he’s never dared let on he does in case you didn’t feel the same. He can’t fathom losing you as a friend, so he never wanted to share something that might make the relationship awkward.
He’s never even told George how he feels about you. When he realized just how deeply he felt for you, he promised himself that he’d keep it quiet. For all you and George knew, Fred only thought of you as a good friend and nothing more. Sure you both knew that he cared for you and would do anything you ever asked him to, but you would never guess that Fred wanted to be able to call you his - that he wanted to be able to hold you and kiss you and shout to the world that he’s dating you.
Fred sighs happily as you continue sleeping, feeling his heart swell with love. Godric how you made him feel.
He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until he’s written a few words.
Y/n, sweetheart -
Godric, I love you.
He feels the air get sucked out of his lungs as he reads over what he wrote. He couldn’t possibly have written that right?
Looking over at you cautiously to find you still fast asleep he sighs. He checks the time finding that dinner is still over an hour away. Maybe writing out his feelings wouldn’t be so bad? It’s not like anyone would be seeing them right?
~.~
You giggle as you shut the door on your two best friends as they stumble over each other up the stairs.
As soon as you three stepped off the train, Fred was asking you to come over for a few days, not wanting to part ways quite yet. Writing out his feelings did the exact opposite of what he was hoping. Instead of feeling relieved and getting them out of the forefront of his mind, writing out his love for you had only made him crazier for you.
It was insane how much he felt for you and he couldn’t imagine having you disappear on him so quickly. Hence why he asked you over and you’ve been at the burrow for about three days now.
It’s been amazing spending time with your two best friends without the stress or schedule of classes and tests.
Currently you were trying to escape their wrath for a harmless prank you pulled on them this morning which may have resulted in them both getting drenched in water.
“Y/n, sweetheart, can you let us in our room please? We really would like to change out of these wet clothes.” Fred asks sweetly, attempting to get you to show yourself to them.
“Not yet. You’re going to attack me soon as I do.”
“We won’t. Swear we won’t, right george?”
“Right, Fred. Just let us in.”
“I don’t trust you two.” You admit, trying to catch your breath as you back away from the locked door.
“Why not? We’ve never given you a reason not too.”
“You’re joking right? Must I remind you about your birthday?” You deadpan, taking a seat at their desk in an attempt to protect yourself. If they tried to attack you, you at least had an arsenal of pens and pencils.
“Alright, fair enough. We promise no tricks. Just unlock the door.”
“I really don’t want to. At least I’m safe right now.”
You hear a mix of chuckles and a groan as you curiously look over the contents of the desktop. You frown when you spot a folded piece of paper with your name on it.
Why would they have a paper addressed to you? And what would even be in it? It’s not like anyone has anything important enough to put in a letter for you. If they have something to say they just talk to you.
Without questioning it, you pick up the paper and start reading it.
Y/n, sweetheart -
Godric, I love you. I’ve loved you for ages now but I’ve been far too worried about ruining our friendship to tell you. The only reason I’m writing these words now is because I know no one but me will ever see this.
“Y/n? What’re you doing?” Fred questions through the door when you get too quiet.
I can’t imagine a life without you, y/n. You’ve been the best part of mine since I met you on the train in our first year. The way you’re so unbelievably kind and fun to be around is just one of the many things I adore about you. I could write you a list, but it’d get to be quite long.
Merlin, I wish I could tell you how I feel. I want to scream it to the world I swear. I want to be able to hold you, and kiss you, whenever and wherever. I want to go on hogsmeade trips with you and buy you a butterbeer and be one of those couple’s you’re always fawning over. I want to get you gifts just because I want to see you smile.
You can hear the door click as one of them unlocks it, but you pay no attention to it.
I want to be the one you talk to about anything and everything. I want to be the one to comfort you. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to fall asleep and wake up beside you each day. I just want you. I’ve wanted you since the middle of second year, but I’m sure you don’t feel the same. I just needed to get this all off my chest.
I love you and I hope you can tell even though we’re friends. I love you, y/n. So much.
“Shit, princess. Y-you weren’t supposed to read that.” Fred sighs from behind you.
You jump slightly at his proximity, not expecting him to be right behind you.
You look up at him as he paces across the room, looking over to George before back at Fred. You frown as you watch him tug at his hair.
“Freddie?”
“Hmm?” He acknowledges, still pacing.
“Will you please look at me?”
“What’s even got you like this? What could you have written that’s so bad?” George questions, walking to the desk as you walk over to Fred.
You watch as Fred chews on his lip as you stand in front of him. You see the anxiousness in his eyes and you’ve never once been more reminded of a scared puppy as much as you are now. Fred looks absolutely terrified, only further proven by how he’s shaking slightly.
“Fred, do you really feel that way? Do you love me?”
“I, uhm, yeah...I-I do.”
You smile, pushing back some of his hair that’s stuck to his forehead from being drenched as you wrap your arms around his neck in a hug.
“You should have told me ages ago. I’ve loved you since second year, too, you goof.” You giggle, kissing his cheek before burying your face in his neck.
“What?”
You pull back to look at him, finding him sporting a look of utter confusion as he stares at you, mouth open.
“What?” You chuckle, cocking a brow at him as you smile lightly.
“Y-you like me too? Like you actually like me? More than as a friend?”
You hear George chuckle to the side of you, drawing both of your guys’ attention.
“Godric, Fred. Never would have pegged you as a sap.” He snorts.
“Be nice, George. Believe it or not, it’s actually really sweet. Write a love letter to Angie and see how quickly she swoons.”
Fred chuckles at your repose while George scoffs, although there’s no hiding the blush that spreads across his cheeks.
You watch as George grabs some dry clothes before leaving the two of you to yourselves.
“So you actually like me too?”
“Of course I do, Freddie. Haven’t you ever noticed how much the girls would tease me when you were around? They were teasing me about you.”
“Bloody hell. They’ve done that for years! I thought it was just how they were.”
“I mean, it is, but they tend to get a bit more obnoxious about it when you’re around.”
“So you really like me too?”
“Yes, Freddie. I like you too. I just need to ask, when did you write that?”
He chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck as he gives you a half smile.
“After our charms final....you took a nap in our dorm, remember?”
“Mhm. Your bed was really comfy.” You giggle, a blush rising to Fred’s cheeks.
“You looked really cute sleeping in my bed and I, well, I may have gotten a little overwhelmed with emotions.”
You smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.
“Godric you’re adorable, Fred.”
“Not as adorable as you, princess.”
“I beg to differ.” You giggle, smiling as he brings you into another kiss, tightly wrapping his arms around your waist.
When you pull away you press your foreheads together, smiling.
“So, do you think you could write that list about the things you adore about me?”
He can’t help the chuckle that leaves his chest as you smile adoringly at him.
“I’ll get right on it, love. Right after I change out of these clothes since someone decided it’d be fun to prank the pranksters this morning.”
You giggle, pressing one last kiss to his jaw before you leave him to let him change clothes.
“I’m glad I found your letter, Fred.”
“I am too, y/n. I love you.”
“I love you too, Freddie.” You smile as you close his bedroom door. Who would have guessed that Fred Weasley would declare his feelings for you in a love letter? One things for sure though, you’re saving that paper and cherishing it the rest of your life.
———————————————————————
Taglist:
general taglist - @accioalix @captaincactusjuice @inglourious-imagines @keepawaythenargles @lemongrasshoney @onyourgoddamleft @valiantobservationkitty @concepcion @eternallyvenus @fandomwhoress @fleurho @fredweasleyzwh0re @harleigh110 @hufflepuffflowers-blog @hufflrpuffforfred @i-miei-amori @littlemisswitt @sammy-the-gay @sightiff @starstruckgranger @teenwolfbitches2 @watermelonsugar2810 @harrypotterwifey @your-hispanicehufflepuff @yikeyikesyikes95 @darthwheezely @callmelilone @teawiththeweasleys @softlyqoos @justmesadgirl @xuckduck @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko @msmarklee1213 @immajustreadwritereblog @msmimimerton @perfectlysane24 @mischievous-queen @bunnyboo7 @grandeoptimist @daddystevee @slytherinxhunter @streetfighterrichie @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @isthereanymorejello @p0gue420 @hogwartslut @sebby-staan @fredshmeasley @weasleysbitch2 @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts @roonilwazlibswhore @i-love-scott-mccall
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boyworstie · 2 years
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seraphcastiel’s 2021 monthly roundup: NOVEMBER       ⋙  JAN | FEB | MAR | APRIL | MAY | JUNE | JULY | AUG | SEPT | OCT
hi guys! i wanted to do something new this 2021 and do a sort of “round up” of all the edits i make, as well as some of my personal favorite bits of content (edits, fic, art, etc) that others have made throughout the month. this is largely to keep track of my own content so i can see how my PS skills are improving as i continue to relearn how to make edits, and also i thought it’d be cool to take note of how many edits i do/what kinds of edits i do each month so i can see how i’ve grown as a content creator at the end of the year. (plus, i get to give a quick shout out to some of my favorite content creators as well hehe).
so without further ado, onto the roundup! big thanks to everyone who liked/reblogged my stuff this past month, i really appreciated it! xx
“i love you”    despair | 5 nov 2020:  if i think too hard about it being year since the confession i’ll burst into tears. i actually cried while making this (though that might’ve also been because of me being sleep-deprived and anxious about con weekend lol). i almost scrapped this idea, tbh. i had been stressing out the entire last week of october/first week of november bc i couldn’t think of what to make to commemorate the confession anniversary, and then when i landed on this concept, it didn’t feel right bc i knew i wouldn’t be using much footage from 15x18 itself. the more i thought about it though, the more i kept returning to this idea so i just decided to go for it and maybe make something else that was more 15x18 specific. as usual, because i spent too much time worrying about it, i ended up having to make it around 10:30pm the night of the 4th, after traveling all day :)))) coloring wasn’t bad, especially after making the early decision to have two panels be in black and white (both to save time and to keep the gifset from looking too overwhelming). hardest panel to make was the second to last one, bc i wanted to parallel the drinking scene from the s8 finale to the drinking scene from s15 but there were no aesthetically pleasing, no-talking shots of the two of them during that bunker scene (andrew dabb, i am once again cursing your entire production crew). i think that one panel alone took me two hours. made it work tho, and that’s all that matters
deancas, “21 guns”:  so after a stressful week of pre-con prep, and a stressful day of traveling, and a stressful 6 hours of gifmaking, i probably went to bed asap to get enough rest for the first day of con, right?.... right? well. i did say i wanted to make something else that was specifically about 15x18. in my defense, i had been thinking of a 21 guns spnedit for a while, though it focused on all of tfw 2.0 and not just dean and cas, and reconfiguring the gifset into a destiel edit didn’t take long (i was actually thinking about it while making the first nov 5 edit lol), so i figured it wouldn’t take that much time and effort to just make something that focused on only one epsiode and one specific scene. i mean, it would have a more consistent coloring i that i could work with, the shots would be easy to grab since there’s actually very few shots from the confession scene that are aesthetically decent, i had it all planned out in my head anyway, it should be easy af, right?.... right? well. i really need to stop assuming anything i plan is gonna work out. panels 1, 2, and 4 took almost no time, but the third panel took me another two and a half hours after what i had planned on doing for it (and the back up to that initial plan) ended up looking like shit. honestly, i’m not even sure if i actually like how the third panel finally ended up, or if i just settled for it bc i had to start getting dressed to go to the convention center. overall, though, i do like the edit as a whole, esp the coloring and shadows i was able to achieve. definitely a memorable set of edits from this year, if only for the context in which they were made.
(the good) supernatural finale (that lives in my head) : 15.20 “cry no more”:  hooo boy. can’t believe i can finally put this in a round up, i’ve been working on this edit on and off for fucking months.  i first got the idea after making my supernatural/live-action scooby doo manip edit, and wanted to challenge myself to see if i could make the spn finale that we deserved. turns out, it was a lot harder to do than my scoobynatural one, considering i had both much more and much less material to sort through. first, i had to make sure that all the scenes i pulled from were from later episodes to keep every character’s age/look consistent in relation to each other; easier said than done when characters like garth and claire are barely in anything past s13. that’s unfortunately the reason why i couldn’t put characters like bobby, patience, alex, kaia, and max barnes in the bunker panels, even though i mention them being there in the inspo post — i just couldn’t find shots of them that worked. once i found enough workable shots of the rest of the characters, put them together in a single shot took a lot of trial and error, and the compositions of almost all of those panels changed at least three times each before i was able to figure it out. surprisingly, the first panels i was able to finish were the rowena/jack/and amara ones, even if it was a pain in the ass to add the forest backgrounds to those shots. coloring ended up being the easiest part of the entire process, with only a few tweaks here and there depending on the scene. the dialogue was another nightmare to figure out, and walking the line between realistic-for-spn dialogue and more-suitable-for-spn-fanfic dialogue was a struggle (thank you to all the people i showed rough drafts to who offered their advice). i had way more panels planned for this gifset (including tfw 3.0 actually in the empty and talking to empty!meg, dean going through cas’ memories, and them saving not just cas but crowley, balthazar, anna, meg, etc.) but i wanted to post something to commemorate erase the series finale, so i guess i’ll just have to make a part 2 to this edit 👀
deancas, “easy on me”:  some purgaytory angst for @spockcoded‘s birthday. actually really like how this came out, i originally was only planning on using footage from the s8 but i figured a little bit of divorce arc never hurt nobody. making that middle panel and getting the timing of the fade transition took some time but the effect came out pretty well, and any kind of purgatory coloring that doesn’t make their skin tone look sickly is a win in my book. 
and now some of my favorite edits, fics, and art from this past month:

this thanksgiving fic by @one-more-offbeat-anthem still waters run deep by @thisisapaige defining heaven by @demonologist-in-denim this megstiel ficlet by @themauvesoul
castiel + food by @ne8ula sylvia plat + three women by @angelfishofthelord this rainbow cas graphic by @jactingjoices this spn + falsettos graphic by @davyperez this archangels graphic by @carrotfricker this spn + “i wanted to leave” amv by @angeltiddies
this cowboy cas art by @justcastiel roadtrip interlude by @mjulmjul team freel will 2.0 by @mishoru this endverse cas art by @hardcoremisery this cas timetravel art by @skepticalfrog this cas art by @dunkindestieldonuts this rowena and cas art by @beebudart
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hey, just wanted to ask if you had any plans for specific characters you'd do another 'immersive characters' mod on :0 (btw i know you're super busy and i respect and really appreciate what you do with your mods, they make my game hella more interesting) thanks, i hope you have a nice day :)
Thank you for the kind words, I hope you have a great day too!
So before anything else, a disclaimer to illustrate how slow I am when it comes to writing for mods: I began working on IC Shane in 2018, and it’s still the only IC mod I’ve released. It’s partly because constant updates to SDV and CP have used up all my modding energy and partly because life gets rough sometimes. I would like to eventually have an IC mod out for all the marriage candidates, but I’ll probably be like 80 by then lmao. I can’t promise to definitely do one for all of them, so I’m just gonna take things one step at a time and see how far I can get. :) [EDIT Feb 2021: I may just finish Alex and not start any new SDV modding project because of my feelings about the 1.5 content.]
Right now, I’m working on Alex! I’ve got about 180 out of 320 non-marriage dialogue lines so far including vanilla lines (many of which have been tweaked). I also have some events scripted or at least planned out, so there’s that. I don’t think you asked for details or previews specifically but here they come anyway because I have no self-control! 💖 (spoilers for his canon content but no 1.5 spoilers because I haven’t had the chance to play yet :’( )
My take on Alex’s character and narrative sticks close to vanilla in the early stages. He’s self-absorbed, arrogant, and is basically an average dudebro you can find at your local gym. He also has a narrow view of the world that keeps him kind of isolated from most of the people in town.
Eventually, he’ll start working through his insecurities and stuff and be a more open-minded and self-aware. This part of the arc is based on the vanilla dialogue where he says this:
"I guess it's interesting that some people are totally different than us, you know? I don't always understand why others act the way they do, but that's fine."
And on his vanilla 6-heart event where he apologizes for being a jerk and begins to reevaluate the feasibility of his dreams of going pro as a gridball player. Here, I’ll start diverging from vanilla a bit to show how he builds more meaningful relationships with the people around him because I don’t think the trajectory of his arc should end at him being more open-minded. I want him to also realize that he’s not the center of the universe and act on that knowledge by doing more to take care of other people (e.g. some of his dialogue is about him doing chores at home because a) his grandmother should not have to run their household on her own and b) I can’t let players marry this grown man who’s at his peak physical condition if he doesn’t at least wash the dishes!). I wanna show his evolving friendship with Haley (I don’t ship them but they’re mlm/wlw solidarity) and establish some new ones with other villagers like Penny (neighbors! (I actually have an event between them all scripted out)) and Shane (gridball bros).
One thing I really don’t like about his vanilla arc is how his gridball dreams just... die. Especially when you marry him. I still want his goals to change as he learns more about himself, but hopefully I’ll pull it off in a way that’s more satisfying than what we have in canon.
This all sounds really serious, but don’t worry, we’ll also have lots of moments like this:
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king of economics!!! 😍 (portrait mod here)
So yeah! If I ever finish the Alex mod, I want to work on Haley next, then Sam. The rest will follow in an order depending on how much I vibe with each character and whether or not I’m still into SDV lol
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magistralucis · 3 years
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I plan to read Desiderata but I don't know a thing about Rammstein. What should I know before diving in?
That depends very heavily on what about Rammstein would interest you.
I’ll be honest, anon, Desiderata is not the best story to start with if you’re completely new to R+. The story assumes a familiarity with the band’s history, as well as 1980s East German politics, and depicts both with terms and viewpoints familiar at the time. It’s not very accessible if you want to read a story about Rammstein, I’m afraid, it is very much a period piece.
That said, I can talk a little about what made me write Desiderata; if you’re interested in any of those topics, you’re probably good to go. I will also add some pointers as to how to begin a journey into Rammstein in general. This will be a very long post beneath the cut.
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1) I’m interested in life during the GDR. I’m especially interested in how ordinary East Germans lived, down to what they ate, the kinds of people they’d meet, where they could travel to for the holidays. What people take for everyday occurrences are anything but outside of their homes. Most of Desiderata takes place in the pre- and early-Rammstein era (1985-1995), when the band members didn’t know they were going to get so big, nor what would happen after the reunification of Germany. I wanted to depict their era realistically. Desiderata is a written painting of that time.
2) I wanted to write on the anti-authoritarian character. To distill a long and complex history down, Rammstein has their origins in Ostpunk, and many of its band members spent their early life resisting the government in one way or another. They didn’t all do this in the same way, nor always with the conscious desire to stick it to the government. Sometimes they paid for it anyway. In Richard’s case, with terrible consequences, as his arrest and detainment by the Stasi finally made him flee the country. Desiderata is written in Richard’s POV and includes a sequence on what might have occurred during this time, as well as an analysis of his general psyche on the years leading up to that arrest. Desiderata’s account relies heavily on actual interviews Richard has done, as well as published Rammstein material, so if you’re interested in a character study of this sort you might like it.
3) I did not want to depict the above through the patronizing lens commonly found in Western media. It’s easy to fall into the trap of binary opposites when you’re writing about stuff like this: Richard was oppressed by the GDR so he must hate everything about the GDR, and/or furthermore, the GDR must have been evil. It’s the other way around if you’re approaching this from an anti-capitalist lens: if the East Germans had known the ‘freedom’ which lay beyond the wall was actually mid-stage capitalism, and if they’d known how badly that shit would break down in a couple of decades, they wouldn’t have wanted it.
Now I do not know what the objectively correct political position is here. But when you’re writing a character study of Richard, it shouldn’t be either of those. It’s definitely not how Rammstein looks at their past, judging by the interviews they’ve given and the books they’ve published; not even Richard has such a black-and-white approach to the life he led. It’s easy to forget that when you’re writing a fic, or even an article which tries to lean on the ‘facts’; one’s subconscious biases inform how they process facts, and I want to do better than that. I’ve fallen into that morality trap before because I didn’t know any better, and as a result I wrote some really bad stories, and I am ashamed of that. Rammstein have led a rich and complicated life with ups and downs. Many of them sincerely loved the GDR, the ones who didn’t still saw plenty of self-admitted good in it. If you would like to bask in my efforts at honesty, as fragmented as it is (for in the end, I am not from the GDR), Desiderata is the best I’ve done to this date.
4) Some good old Tillchard. Yes, I admit it, Desiderata is also a pairing exercise. ‘Tillchard’ is the shorthand for the pairing between Till (vocal) and Richard (lead guitarist); they are longtime friends in real life, and they share a trust between them seldom paralleled by anyone else in the band, imo. They’ve lived together for a time, they raised their daughters together, they began their foray into music in general while being aware of each other. They have duets together for God’s sake. I’ve been digging Tillchard for ten years so I need to stop before this becomes a longer essay than it should be, but long story short, if this becomes the first pairing you’re interested in I’d recommend adding Desiderata to the fanfic pile.
Ultimately, all the above points would still work out for the best if you knew more about Rammstein. Now for the practical recommendations. See if you like their music first: currently they have seven albums out, the most recent of which is Rammstein (2019). I don’t know how hard you like your music, but in order of most hardness to least my rank goes:
Liebe ist für alle da / Reise, Reise
Rammstein (2019)
Sehnsucht
Mutter
Herzeleid
Rosenrot
My personal ranking is:
Mutter
Liebe ist für alle da / Rammstein (2019)
Sehnsucht
Reise, Reise
Herzeleid
Rosenrot
Their best tracks usually have music videos attached to them. Check them out too. R+ take serious care with their music video narratives, they’re often their own little story in themselves. Their live performances are worth watching, even in video. If you can read German, I would also recommend checking out Rammstein literature, of which there are plenty. Till has three volumes of poetry out (Messer, In Stillen Nachten, 100 Gedichte); Flake has two autobiographies (Der Tastenficker and Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag, the latter of which is available in English); Mix Mir Einen Drink is the biography of Feeling B, which many members of Rammstein played in before Rammstein, and is an invaluable source for GDR life.
Out of everything I’ve listed, as of Feb 2021, Flake’s autobiography is hands-down the best place to begin your Rammstein journey. There will be a more extensive book about Rammstein by Olaf Heine soon, but it won’t be released until later this year.
There is no end goal to how much you should be interested in Rammstein, or what about the band you ought to like. At any point in this journey, try out a fic or two, see what you like. The fandom has written about basically every music video, every notable event that happened to the band (some may include sources!), and just about every combination of pairings possible among the six. You are in very well-covered territory, I promise :D
Feel free to ask more questions if need be. There is so much you can write about this band, I’ve definitely not covered everything. If at any point in this process you read Desiderata, and you end up enjoying it, that’s all I could ask for.
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lady-ragnvindr · 3 years
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I got incredibly lucky on pulling Razor, Bennett and Barbara on fairly early pulls and I made them a super OP team with Lumine lmao. I main Razor even if I get other DPS characters. I’m currently saving up every last primogem for Xiao but all the talk about low pull rates and “pity” (Idk what that is!!) makes me feel pretty doubtful I’ll get him without spending real money. But! We’ll see! I’ve got enough for 3x 10 pulls and if I don’t get another 10 by feb 3rd I don’t have too high hopes...
My plan is for Xiao to replace Lumine since I prefer her as Anemo anyway, and my sword needs will be taken care of by Bennett and Barbara will be my elemental and healing, with Razor still as my main DPS. I rarely have to use food for healing since I made Barbara pretty OP in health and healing too. I didn’t have any strategy until I pulled Razor tbh lol I just did random shit. Now the OG team you get at the start of the game is constantly sitting on the outlines unless I need Kaeya for something, I only level them up if I don’t have my OP team to level up anymore.
Imma continue to manifest (and Simp) for Xiao in the meantime and I’ll find out the results come his banner 👁 👄 👁
Wow the only shit I got my first few weeks were weapons. Like damn not even new characters. But luck came to me in Childes banner so here I am looking like a whale but I'm not I swear. I am low spender 😭😭😫😫
Wishing everyone who wants Xiao to get him.
ALSO- check your wish count on the event banner, remember if you haven't gotten a 5* on the event banner, then you have 50/50. But if you are close say 70 or 80 you will get a 5* but either Xiao or another, so do check your history and count.
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agreateryesterday · 4 years
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Reylo - ABO fics
An Unexpected Vacation
An Unexpected Date by tigbit
*Finished* 10 chapters, 4 chapters
In which Rey attempts to bolster her bank account by volunteering to fuck an Alpha in a scientific study. Plans go pear-shaped when she accidentally triggers scientist!Ben’s first Rut.
Rey and Ben go on their infamous date.
Terminal Velocity by AQuill2Thrill
(Last updated Feb 22, 2020) 6 chapters
In her final year at the University of Coruscant, Rey Kenobi navigates painful memories of her past while simultaneously fighting to get into the Coruscant Academy of Law. Broken in more ways than one, she finds herself dumbstruck when she receives a letter of dismissal from the Skywalker-Organa Scholarship Program - her one and only ticket into graduate school. Without the necessary funds, her future is completely dead in the water... right? Meanwhile, fast boi Ben Solo - better known as Kylo Ren on the MotoAmerica docket - is competing among world champion racers on dangerous tracks throughout the country. He's got all the wealth and fame he could ask for, so why does he still feel a pang of emptiness as he crosses each finish line like a man possessed?
True Love Waits by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 18 chapters
In Rey's tiny Southern town, courtship for Omegas begins when a woman turns fifteen and ends with mating and marriage on the sixteenth birthday. All of her friends have already settled down, but Rey has a free spirit that isn't so easy to subjugate and control. Ben Solo intends to change that.
The Runner by JaneEyre1847
(Last updated Jan 16, 2020) 18chapters
Rey Niima has a one-in-a-billion secret. If found out, she'll become the target of religious fanatics and political reactionaries the world over. If they catch her, she'll lose everything, including her career, her freedom, perhaps even her mind. So, she pretends to be a normal, if highly unusual Omega, using her unique talents as an endurance athlete and automotive engineer to make a life for herself and craft a meaningful future. Ben Solo is finally, finally free of his past. Still young, still a highly dominant Alpha in an Alpha's world, he has enough money from selling his startup to start a new life in Boulder, Colorado, safe from his mistakes, safe from his family, and safe even from Snoke. All he wants now is to be happy and share his life with the right Omega. It's too bad Ben's past is coming for him. It's too bad his past is coming for Rey.
You Burn First by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 22 chapters
Rey is kidnapped to be a slave for the ruthless Kylo Ren in exchange for the protection of her people. The post-apocalyptic world she lives in is brutal, but he might be worse
Not your omega. by riseofskyloren
*Finished* One Shot
Rey Johnson and Ben Solo cannot stand each others, she's way too joyful and he's just so cynical. They're definitely not mate material, not a chance. But what happened when the person you despise the most in the entire world becomes the one your body's craving?
Pretty Little Thing by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 3 chapters
Rey is forcibly claimed by Kylo Ren. Though the pairing isn't complete, he pulls to her while he's in prison for his crime, and she struggles to ignore her instinct to go to him.
Kitty Cat by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 2 chapters
Rey accepts a ride from a polite Alpha, Ben. He's a perfect gentleman. For now.
Premature by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 5 chapters
Ben is Rey's awkward IT neighbor. She gives him a little bonus for helping fix her Wifi, and his obsession deepens, and he wants to prove he isn't some weirdo.
Bentacles by MalevolentReverie (creature fic *technically no ABO)
*Finished* One Shot
Kylo was kidnapped by humans and turned into a display piece at an aquarium. He meets a kind new girl, Rey, and decides she'll make the perfect mate.
Heat Wave by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 2 chapters
Ben's next door neighbor Rey gets a little too hot. Her heat comes and he'll help her, even if she doesn't want him to.
Yellowstone by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* One Shot
Rey goes on a survival trip with her friends, but they get sick, and the friendly ranger doesn't have her best interests in mind.
Happy Birthday, Rey by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* One Shot
Every year, Rey receives a letter from a stranger. Every year, they get weirder.
Birthday Lick by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* One Shot
Rey decides to finally cut loose on her sixteenth birthday. She sneaks into a club and meets Ben Solo, who's charming, funny, and takes whatever he wants.
Fledgling by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* One Shot
Rey runs away from home and takes a break at a very dangerous rest stop.
derangeD by MalevolentReverie (child like Rey)
*Finished* One Shot
Next-door neighbor Ben is really nice. He used to babysit Rey and gave her a weird bite on the nape of her neck. If he needs help, she's happy to provide it.
Burnt Coffee by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 3 chapters
Ben 'accidentally' forgets to pick up his sister's suppressants. He gets what he wants in her empty coffee shop.
Halcion Days by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 3 chapters
Ben has never seen anything hotter than his unconscious stepsister.
Stay Still by MalevolentReverie (beta Rey)
*Finished* One Shot
Beta Rey babysits her Alpha neighbor Ben's nephew. One night he comes home drunk and aggressive and Rey can't escape.
WENDIGO by MalevolentReverie (creature fic *technically no ABO)
*Finished* 2 chapters
Rey is saved from a wolf attack by a mysterious stranger. He wants more than she’s willing to give, but he’s going to take it anyway.
Fine. Little. Pieces. by MalevolentReverie
*Finished* 3 chapters
Ben loves his mate and his pup very much—and they better love him back.
As Above, So Below by MalevolentReverie (creature fic *technically no ABO)
(Last updated May 9, 2020) 1 chapter
Rey goes on a spelunking trip in North Carolina with her friends. She quickly gets lost and is stalked by a strange, inhuman creature.
Reclaimed by betts
*Finished* One Shot
After the passing of new legislation, Rey and thousands of other omegas are rescued from the abusive grasps of their alphas. She gets adopted by a new alpha and braces herself for the cruelty she’s grown used to. But Ben isn’t like other alphas, and Rey slowly warms to his kindness.
He's Just Not That Into You(r) Scent by SaintHeretical
*Finished* 4 chapters
Rey is a young and single Omega who hasn't had a lot of luck so far finding a nice Beta guy who isn't a total flake. They say they've had a great time with her, but seem to have a difficult time with calling her back. Ben is an Alpha bartender who is tired of hearing about her dating difficulties, and is ready to drop some truth bombs.
A Myth of Devotion by KiraStar
(Last updated Jan 9, 2020) 1 chapter
Rey shouldn't have gone out drinking that night. Ben shouldn't have claimed a 16 year old girl.
all things bright and beautiful by freewalrus
*Finished* One Shot
Rey looks down at the little blue and white stick clutched in her sweaty palm and feels like her stomach is about to fall out of her ass. There, in the tiny gray window, are two seemingly harmless black lines. Two. She blinks rapidly, trying to clear whatever fog has obscured her vision and made her think she is currently holding a positive pregnancy test. She's not pregnant. She can't be pregnant. She just can't be. Because if she is, her mate will leave her. Ben will leave her.
Alpha by PrinceofDarkness15
(Last updated Jan 4, 2020) 2 chapters
"You're walking a very dangerous line here, Kenobi." Ben growled, exposing a row of razor sharp canines. "I wouldn't try it again."
The Claiming Party by SithLord98
(Last updated Feb 16, 2020) 12 chapters
No summary available.
A Wolf At the Door by KiraStar
(Last updated Dec 29, 2019) 4 chapters
“What’s a pretty little thing like you doin’ all alone on a Friday night?” Rey meets an older boy at the drive-in.
Let it Linger by CaptainCabinets
(Last updated May 26, 2020) 3 chapters
Ben Solo and Rey Jones have history. One that they were both hoping to forget. But their past becomes increasingly hard to ignore when Rey starts attending Ben's prestigious boarding school. - Or - Ben is an Alpha. Rey is an Omega. And they forget how to function like normal human beings when they are around each other.
My Heat Will Go On by SpaceWaffleHouseTM
*Finished* 14 chapters
Lucky Omega Rey wins a third class ticket to America on the Titanic. Rich, miserable Alpha Ben holds a first class ticket to a life he doesn’t want. Another tale as old as time unfolds, but this time with... heat.
(Can't Stand) The Heat
Stay Out Of My Kitchen! by SwanSongremix
*Finished* One Shots
She would feel terrible if she asked him to come home early. Wasting all of her alpha’s hard work. He had always been so accommodating of her hectic schedule as an emergency room nurse, it would be unfair to not reciprocate. Besides, she had gone through plenty of heats on her own before meeting Ben. What was one more? In which omega Rey doesn't call her mate, and Ben is a disaster child.
“Seriously, though, how am I supposed to hide this?” Ben asked, following his friend to the front door, waving his covered hands. “I don’t know! Get creative!” And with that, Poe made a hasty retreat outside. Ben stared at the closed door in disbelief. “Fuck my life.” In which Poe is not allowed in kitchens, and Ben is still a disaster child.
Imprints by KyloTrashForever
*Finished* 23 chapters
“I was happy you’ll be working with someone you know. He’ll take good care of you.” Take good care of you. The words send a shiver down her spine, sparking memories that flood her with embarrassment. She feels a strange itch just below her ear, her gland giving a phantom pulse as if her body remembers the incident even still. Suddenly her triumph fades into dread, the idea of working here leaving a hollow pit in her stomach. Poe is still talking, but she doesn’t hear most of it. Her mind is firmly trapped in the vivid memories of six years ago— in a moment she wishes she could forget. By the time she hangs up the phone— she isn’t sure anymore if she can do this.
First Order University by Water_Fox (KnightSiren)
(Last updated April 6, 2020) 3 chapters
A young beta named Rey Kenobi can't believe her luck when she gets miraculously admitted to First Order University, the largest and most prestigious university on Coruscant. She has big plans for her engineering degree and has no problem sticking up for herself in a pool of hormonal alphas. But, when she crosses paths with a strange Alpha named Kylo Ren and unexpectedly finds herself soaking wet and falling at his feet... those plans are threatened to be thrown out the window.
welcome to my cage, little lover by KyloTrashForever
*Finished* 8 chapters
“Come here, Beta.” Every step is difficult— as if her legs are made of stone themselves. He motions that she sit behind him, and she remains there on her knees for several seconds as she wonders what he might want. “Your hands. Use them.” In which Rey is brought to the house of the infamous warlord, Kylo Ren, to serve his every need. Omegas are not allowed. Surely nothing will go wrong.
And They Were Roommates by KyloTrashForever
*Finished* 13 chapters
“This isn’t going to work.” He points a finger between the two of them. “This arrangement.” Her eyes narrow. “You didn’t put any specifications on who could apply.” “Yeah…” He rubs the back of his neck then, the action making it look longer, making her wonder what it might feel like under her fingers. “You have to know that this isn’t a good idea.” She knows what he means, she does—but she’s so tired of being brushed aside for her designation that she challenges him anyway. “And why not?” His eyes bore into hers, his expression blank as he says, “Because I can tell how much scent-block you put on—and I can still smell you.” In which Rey’s new roommate turns out to be a lot more than she bargained for.
The mortifying ordeal of being known (and the reward of being loved) by vuas
(Last updated May 13, 2020) 9 chapters
The omega in apartment 7b was going to pose a problem.
Knot My First Time by KyloTrashForever
*Finished* 5 chapters
“Who can tell me the purpose of knotting?” Holy fuck, are you kidding. His face is going to catch on fire. The teacher still scans the room, looking for a victim of her mortifying question until her eyes finally settle somewhere behind Ben. “Ah, yes. Ms. Johnson?” “Originally, to ensure conception.” Ben sneaks a glance behind him, finding her every bit as distracting as he always does. Rey Johnson. The girl who moved here just three months ago. The girl who seems to excel at everything she does. The girl he can’t get off his mind. The girl he’s heard so much about. In which Ben’s Alpha instincts have always been there, and now they’re awake.
Don't talk to strangers by P_Dunton
(Last updated March 3, 2020) 9 chapters
“Don’t talk to strangers, don’t leave the path and walk straight to Grandmother’s house.” The village of Jakku has a dark and terrible secret. An unknown evil lurks in the nearby forest and will only be satisfied with an annual offering of a local virgin. Nobody knows where the mysterious messenger comes from every year. Once a year, a masked person appears out of the forest and selects the virgin to be offered to the forest. Poor little orphan Rey, is wrapped in the ceremonial red cloak and escorted by the whole village to the edge of town. In a hundred years, none have ever returned. Will Rey be eaten by the Big, Bad Wolf, or does she have a few tricks up her sleeve?
Let’s Get Together by KyloTrashForever, ohwise1ne
(Last updated Jan 15, 2020) 6 chapters
“You didn’t tell me,” he murmurs quietly, careful that someone won’t overhear. “That you were a counselor.” “Neither did you.” “I told you it was my job to keep disobedient boys and girls from causing trouble.” “Why, sir.” She directs a sly look at him through her lashes. “Do I look like the sort who would cause trouble?” “You look like you’d never stop. But don’t worry.” He lowers his mouth right beside her ear. “I'd know exactly how to make you behave.” When Ben is roped into a job at his mother’s alpha/omega summer camp, he expects to have an uneventful month full of bad knot jokes and teenage hormones — until a counselor from the Omega side of camp turns his whole summer upside down.
Foresight by Aerographer
(Last updated April 6, 2020) 3 chapters
This Hunt would not be Rey’s first. She was 21 now, and had been in them since her 18th year. She’d never had a reactive heat. Never been reduced to a whining shell because of a scrap of fabric. She was one of the lucky ones.
Garbage girl and the Prince: an A/B/O fairytale by Hosnianprime, Trueffle123
*Finished* 19 chapters
Rey is a nobody and an Omega, who is known as “the garbage girl” in the small town of Chandrilla because as an orphan she was caught eating discarded food. Ben Solo used to be “the Prince” of Chandrilla, the heir to the influential politician Organa and businessman Han Solo. So even if Rey and Ben grew up in the same town, their lives couldn’t be more different…After Ben Solo graduated, he decided to leave home and cut almost all ties with his parents. One day, however, Leia (fed up with her son wasting his life involving himself with dodgy businesses such as financial investments for the First Order Syndicate) comes up with a cunning plan: Ben Solo needs to return home for an arranged mating if he doesn’t want to risk disinhersion.
a little death (goes a long way) by crossingwinter
*Finished* 7 chapters
“That’s good of you,” he replies. “Especially with the O-Negative.” “It’s a good deal,” she says and he glances up. Yeah, because Omega blood is harder to find. A taste of life, because they almost never survive the turn.
Down South
Outrun Me by Spencebox
*Finished* One Shots
Omegas were on the brink of Extinction, and staying in Jakku was a a death sentence. But luckily for Rey... “Please Rey, Armitage and his family live down here and they’re perfectly normal. Do you remember Ben Solo? He lives down here too! His mom Leia kind of runs a few of the businesses here and is pretty cool. And Ben even turned out to be an Alpha; he’s totally not like the ones in Jakku. I talk about you sometimes and he seems to remember you. If you have the chance, stop by and we can catch up!” Rey saw no harm in driving down to the Deep South to Coruscant to stay with Rose for a couple of days. Besides, how bad could it be?
There was no going back now—not like this. Rey was running with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide; Unkar Plutt had sold her off ages ago and had kept her locked away since. But this full moon, she ran .
To Resist by Sweetnlow444
(Last updated April 26, 2020) 2 chapters
“I'm in a relationship, I'm in love, I'm happy.” He kept telling himself this, hoping it would help. It didn't. It did nothing. Couldn't do anything in the face of that fucking smell, that intoxicating, mouth-watering, life-altering smell. Rey. He knew who it came from now and it made it all worse.
Desert Concubine by IkonQueen
(Last updated March 1, 2020) 1 chapter
Emperor Kylo Ren has sent out a galaxy wide announcement that he will handsomely reward those who bring him artifacts from the First Empire; Rey, a scavenger from the desert planet of Jakku, finds something even more priceless, though she doesn't know it. When she is brought before the emperor, her life will change forever.
The Perfect Life by Sweetaro
(Last updated Feb 1, 2020) 1 chapter
All any alpha ever wants is to come home to an omega cooking dinner and ready to be knotted. In the case of Ben Solo, that’s exactly what he has, and he couldn’t be happier. Although from the beginning, he has to teach her. But that's fine, he's going to make sure she's the perfect omega too.
You Should See Me in a Crown by 3todream3
(Last updated April 5, 2020) 9 chapters
“I’m leaving,” she blurted out. “Leaving? What do you mean?” He rubbed his jaw with his hand, trying to wake up. “When will you be back?” “You’re not getting it, Finn. I’m leaving.” She inhaled the familiar scent of the stable, wishing what she was saying wasn’t true. “I’m leaving...for good.” Rey watched as her best friend’s shoulders drew back, straightening his spine as he did. A bitter reality was sinking in before the rooster had even crowed. Finn was her protector, her keeper, her friend. If she left him, she would be lost in the world. “You can’t...you need to stay here!” he blurted out as the words Rey spoke finally woke him up. “The princess has been betrothed, and I am to go with her to her new home.” A sob escaped from deep within. “I can’t let them find out about me!”~o~ Rey, a handmaiden to Princess Bazine, has a secret she must keep at all costs, but her life is put in danger when she must leave her only home. Rey must accompany the princess, who is set to marry the infamous King Ren. Can she keep her secret and also keep her loyalty to her princess? Or will an Alpha make it all go to hell?
Tied to you by I_am_the_trash_queen9478
(Last updated Feb 1, 2020) 11 chapters
For months, since he combed through her mind on Starkiller, they had felt a strange pull towards one another. Fighting it only made the bond stronger; in a moment of frustration, Rey and Kylo decide to give it what it wants and allow themselves to be pulled together. They only wanted to find out how to control it, now everything has changed and they don't know how much longer they can keep fighting this feeling, this heat, between them. What could possibly go wrong when the Alpha Ben Solo and newly changed Omega Rey are tied together, in more ways than one?
Bloodmoon by AlexandrinaRen
(Last updated Feb 28, 2020) 4 chapters
Rey has always tried to stay as far away from pack business as possible, living her life as normally as humanly possible for an Omega and a Werewolf. But when a new Alpha comes in to town and challenges the leader of her pack, even she has to attend the Summit where the Alpha rite is about to be held.
That Fragile Scarlet Tree by Lula_Landry
*Finished* 11 chapters
Rey is asked by her boss Ben Solo to join his inner circle at First Order International, putting her brilliant mind to good use. The biggest problem? Rey is an Omega in hiding, living in a world where her kind have become nearly extinct, while Ben is an Alpha amongst Alphas, triggering her biological responses in ways she's never had to deal with before.
I'll Kill The Traitor, But I Will Save My Omega. by ClaireLou
*Finished* 7 chapters
Poe arrives at Bens house to inform him that his boyfriend is missing, not only that but he has taken the Omega. Unfortunately for Finn, The Omega is Bens wife, his soulmate and his forever. Ben will kill Finn himself. But first he needs to get the pack together and get back his Mate.
Say Yes to the Nest by writing2savelives
*Finished* One Shot
“Rey―?” She cuts him off with a whimper, stepping closer. “Please.” “No,” he growls. “You have to use your words. You have to say yes. Say ‘Yes, I want you’. Say it. Please.” Her pupils are dilating again rapidly. She sinks to her knees in front of him, the ultimate display of submission and his Alpha preens. “Yes Ben. I want you. Please Alpha.” Rey's heat is triggered after she must stay at Ben's apartment, prompting her to build a nest of his clothes. This is how Ben finds her.
A Rose For My Love by Spencebox
(Last updated May 12, 2020) 1 chapter
Poor Omega Rey and Rich Alpha Ben are newly dating and though Rey wants to take things slow, Ben has every intention of locking it down. There is a hesitancy in her- he's a decade older, has more money than she could count, is an Alpha that truly emits every stereotype she's ever know, and is ready for everything from mating to having babies. She wants to take things slow but he's in the fast lane. What's an Omega to do?
Keep the Car Running by CaptainCabinets
*Finished* 7 chapters
Someone new joins the carpool. Rey is not happy about it. (Until she is).
Your Sweetness by EyesSoQuiet
(Last updated April 23, 2020) 2 chapters
Kylo is in the middle of a rut when he finds his omega.
Ms. Independent by Athelise
*Finished* One Shot
Rey goes back into heat and begins to miss the one Alpha she trusted to see her through them. If only he hadn't called her a "charity case" she might actually be tempted to ask.
The Courtship of a Southern Belle by Lapinrose
(Last updated May 20, 2020) 7 chapters
In 1860 New Orleans, Louisiana, Rey Josephine Camille is a young girl about to enter womanhood. Her year-long secret courtship with popular alpha Poe Dameron has not been fruitful: he has not proposed nor has he asked to be her escort at the debutante ball! Before she turns 16, she must get engaged or become an outcast in New Orleans high-society but she does not want to marry someone she does not love. That's when she meets aloof alpha and eligible bachelor Benjamin Solo Augustus.
In Plain Sight by LBellicose
*Finished* 23 chapters
Rey never thought she would ever be lucky enough to go to college, much less win a scholarship to the prestigious University of Naboo. Rey meets Rose, before long she is part of the Resistance, a group of liked mind individuals working to solve the mystery of missing Omegas. Everything points to the First Order health. Rey goes undercover suppressed and poising as a Beta to find out what they are doing with the Omegas. She thinks she has it all under control until she meets the First Order's head of security Kylo Ren who has taken an interest in the newest lab tech.
Winter Flower by MelancholyBrilliance
(Last updated April 17, 2020) 2 chapters
"That’s my number,” he informs her, pinning her with his gaze. “Do not leave this hospital until you call me, Omega.” The command comes from somewhere deep inside of him, a place that usually lies doormat despite barking orders to medical personnel every day. It has an immediate effect on Rey, whose pupils visibly widen as she stares at him, enraptured. She nods, and it’s clear that she’s not entirely in control of herself, and maybe Ben should feel guilty about how satisfying it all is, but he releases a pleased rumble from his chest instead. When Rey’s scent spikes in response, he practically runs out of the room, trembling all over. (ABO/Modern AU in which Rey is essentially a homeless youth, and Ben is a doctor who just wishes he didn’t have to feel so guilty about helping her.)
Vertigo Theory by GlassSolomon
(Last updated March 20, 2020) 2 chapters
Rey has just begun the semester as a Biology student and already she is stretched thin. Being faced with the setbacks that come with being an Omega on top of everything else that comes with attending school she must take on an enormous course load and a job on the side to stay afloat through school. It's most certainly not sustainable. Professor Solo, her Anatomy professor soon takes notice of the young Omega in his course and despite strict Faculty Student Relations rules at the University he cannot take his eyes off of her.
Desolate by lhlsy
(Last updated May 12, 2020) 13 chapters
“I don’t care what her reason for sending you over here is,” he huffs out an annoyed breath, “I’m not interested.” At that her stance changes, she straightens up, almost puffing her chest out, her eyes regard him with a sort of intensity he has never seen an Omega exude before, “Mr. Solo, I’m a police officer,” she starts, her tone now laced with annoyance, and even a hint of anger, “I merely came over to introduce myself since I’m tasked with your security.” He smirks, a small snicker escaping his lips. He can’t help it. He really can’t. It’s just so extremely laughable that the young woman in front him is supposed to be his security. Not that she’s really there to protect him, like she seems to think. The police are only there to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, like try to take off his ankle bracelet and skip town.
Pheromatch by pinkhairedhoe
*Finished* 3 chapters
Ben doesn't like to think of himself as a desperate man, but with little free time, a secret desire for a relationship, and pressure from his well-meaning mother to settle down, he turns to Pheromatch, a dating service for alphas and omegas. Rey Niima, an omega grad student who keeps crushing on betas, thinks using a dating service is a cop out. She sincerely doesn't think she'll find anyone. Except one of the alphas kind of smells incredible.
Howl Of The Pack by LadyErica
(Last updated April 14, 2020) 19 chapters
 Rey doesn't do howling and giving in to her wolf. Until she is called to the ritual of pack master. She is one of many Omegas in the pack that is unmated. The pack master is getting old and it is time for a new pack master. Rey watches the challenge in her pack and doesn't like appreciating in old brutal rituals of her pack. Thus why she doesn't give in to her wolf. A wolf she hadn't turn into in a long time since she presented as a Omega. Then the new pack master chooses a mate. That mate is her.
Baby Steps by Athelise
*Finished* One Shot
Rey is an Omega who has never been in heat and fears Alphas and their knots. But with her admission to Naboo University Rey gets a new lease on life with their Omega-inclusive policies and some of the best suppressors in the country to hide her from the eyes of Alphas. Not only that, but her burgeoning friendship with the adorkable Beta, Ben Solo, may just be the best thing to ever happen to her.
love the way you wear that black on black (take it off like that) by galactic_enterprise
(Last updated May 8, 2020) 1 chapter
“You're mine, Alpha. No one else can ever have you.” She placed his belongings at the head of her den, making Ben swell with pride. “Of course, Omega, and you are mine. Such a good little thing. So hard-working and slick, so ready and beautiful for her Alpha. Do you want me, little one? Do you want me to fill you with my knot and coat you with my cum? To put my pups in that little belly of yours?”- or - Kylo Ren wakes up to Rey trying to nest using his things.
Rey's Anatomy by lovelyjades
(Last updated April 11, 2020) 1 chapter
Freshly graduated Rey Kenobi was thrilled to have been accepted into an internship at the esteemed Skywalker-Organa Hospital in Seattle, and everything was going perfectly fine until she met her neurosurgeon supervisor, Doctor Ben Solo, an arrogant alpha who just so happened to be the best smelling man she'd ever met.
But I Do by Spencebox
(Last updated May 19, 2020) 7 chapters
Rey Kenobi couldn't believe it; she was definitely, totally, and without a doubt, shocked. Ben Solo- Alpha, looked like he belonged on the front of a magazine, not pictured as the profile for the Alpha she'd been matched with. Ben Solo was totally, definitely, and without a doubt, out of her league. But that doesn’t mean his name didn’t leave her lips when she fingered herself that night.
Knot Sure by coldmoonviolet
*Finished* 16 chapters
Omega Rey is excited to be finishing up her degree but after a night out with friends ends in the most embarrassing one night stand Rey could have imagined, she's horrified to discover the Alpha in question is her Professor.
Wanderlust by inexorablydrawn
(Last updated May 5, 2020) 8 chapters
Rey had spent her whole life pretending to be something she wasn't. She had hoped to live a perfectly average life without influence by her designation. But when fate calls to her, pulling her out of her city comforts, she finds out that accepting who she is might be far easier than being alone when Ben Solo finds her wandering aimlessly in the expanses of nature.
graceless hearts by darthdarcyy
(Last updated May 5, 2020) 10 chapters 
Rey Niima, independent Omega and millennial college graduate trying not to starve during a recession, takes a desperate job at a tech support call center. One slow Saturday evening, she watches as a tall, beautiful Alpha moves into the luxury loft apartment building next door. To the apartment directly across from her window. The rest, as they say, is history. you smell like every good memory i've ever had. (previously certain things happen in the dark)
Baggage
in the back with the racks and the stacks of your load by praetorreyna
(Last updated May 29, 2020) (Last updated Feb 10, 2020) 11, 2 chapters
Rey is a senior in college, and ready to graduate the top of her class. Enter Ben Solo, her new literature professor who happens to be an alpha. An alpha that also happens to smell irresistible. Her mind is telling her to keep pushing forward, but her hormones are saying the complete opposite. She just needs to make it through the year with out consequence. That shouldn't be too hard, right?
vignettes for Baggage
the threat is real
when his sight goes red again by 11minutes (redlondons)
*Finished* (last updated May 8, 2020) 7 chapters, 1 chapter
Kylo Ren is sick of going through his ruts alone. Rey is sick of going through her heats alone. A dystopian soulmates au with a happy ending.
Our Royal family is trying to get back into the swing of being together. Padme is being the grandmother she was always supposed to be to Ben. Rey has a secret that will cause havoc in the kingdom. And what happens when the Legacy Saber is stolen and Ben shows the depths of his dark side powers? Alderaan is in a state of revolt, Rey and Ben have a lot of work to do!
Lost & Sold by MalevolentReverie
(Last updated May 18, 2020) 11 chapters
Rey is ten days from her work visa expiring. Her boss, Leia, happens to have a single son who’s more than happy to help.
On The Brightside by Spencebox
*Finished* 3 chapters
On the bright side, he had a nice house.
The Ecumene by P_Dunton
(Last updated May 26, 2020) 35 chapters
The Ecumene (or oecumene): the permanently inhabited portion of the Earth as distinguished from the uninhabited or temporarily inhabited area. In the world where Alphas are meant to rule, Kylo Ren is aiming to wipe the Omegas off the face of the Earth. In the world where Omegas are meant to serve, Rey Johnson has suddenly discovered her true designation.
Good little omega by kylosbrickhousebody
*Finished* One Shot
Only a month ago, Rey found herself trapped in her worst nightmare: presenting as an omega and bonding with a strange, older alpha. Trapped under his care by law, Rey finds herself running from the alpha at every turn. Ben tries to convince her otherwise.
Post: Part 2
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jjkfire · 4 years
Note
hello, do u have an estimate of when the new chapter of sweet saccharine will be published?🥺
haha uhhh i honestly can’t give you a date, sorry! do join the sweet saccharine tag list if you haven’t already so i can tag y’all whenever i post it. but realistically, try me will be updated before sweet saccharine, so.... there’s that haha. if you haven’t seen it, you can go to the bottom of this post to see a preview of the next SS chapter.
i’m gonna put the full reason as to why i am taking so long to write anything... tldr is that i’m just doing a ton of different things atm! but you can read the full story down below
I'll be honest and say that my writing has been sitting on the back burner for some time. i get in a few 100 or so words here and there but I haven't dedicated like a full day to writing in a while. the truth is, I'm really so busy at work!!! and this working from home thing has my work schedule all messed up. it just feels like my work day is stretched because I can't focus so I end up working for a much longer time 😔
also i feel like I have to learn 501 things to keep up with my job but you guys know me haha I love to learn anyway so it's all good but it's just that it eats into my writing time.
and 🤪 I know you guys are tired of hearing me say this but I've really doubled down on learning how to trade and invest. and before you scroll away, no it’s not a scam. warren buffett built his fortune through investing. and i just really want some of you to know that you can generate income with investing so please please please take advantage of it. of course i’m not going to be as rich as warren buffett lmfao but it's a really nice hobby that pays me and writing unfortunately doesn't. like... I love writing! it's amazing!! but it's just the amount of time put in versus the money I get from it is like zero... which is totally fine lol I don't think people want to pay for my writing anyway HAHA and yes, yes, not everything has to be about making money. but i so so so hope at least like one person here followed my advice and invested in that crash in March (my posts were on feb 29 and march 15th respectively and the market hit the lowest point for the year on march 23rd). i literally put my money where my mouth is and bought when i said to buy.
i bought shares of square (ticker: $SQ) at 45 dollars in March and it is 142 dollars today (as of writing, August 13th). meaning I made 97 dollars from one share alone. and if i sell it tomorrow even minus tax it's like give or take 86 dollars profit. all this from just clicking buy. if you can buy one bts concert ticket worth 300 bucks, and considering the concert was cancelled this year, you could’ve bought 6 shares of square with that money and you’ll be 510 dollars richer today. or if you’d rather buy a company you’re more familiar with, had you bought one Apple share at 230 in march and you sold today at 459 dollars, you would have made, minus tax about 201 dollars. (and tesla was 361 dollars in March and it’s 1620 dollars today... yeah that’s NOT a typo). anyway these returns are soooo much more than what your bank is giving you. your bank gives you next to nothing. let me be generous and say right now (since they have severely cut interest rates) they give you 1.8% interest... if you put 300 dollars in the bank, you will accumulate 5.4 dollars in interest at the end of a one-year period....... versus $270 to buy 6 shares of square and then $510 profit if you sold today. do you see what i’m saying???? (you can also do paper trading first if you are scared. meaning use pretend money but it will follow real market prices so you can see how you fare in the market). I'm digressing from your question but!!! financial independence, we want it.
so if I can get just one of you to care about personal finance or investing, my life is made. it’s never too late (unless you are close to retiring then you should think hard about it) and never too early to start. i started in my senior year of college and that’s only because i’m not American and had to get a ssn. if you’re american.... and you have money that you know won’t severely affect you if you lose it, I highly suggest learning about investing. but, make sure you have a solid personal finance foundation too. the tldr is pay off high interest debt, track your expenses in excel or mint or whatever just track it so you can see where you’re wasting money and where you can cut back, take advantage of cash back on credit cards, never pay your credit card bills late, have a 3-6 month emergency fund set up, and then finally learn how to invest. once you do that, if you really want to you can graduate to learning how to trade options. which i do! and this means on top of what i make from investing, i make a few extra bucks every week.
[anything i said is not financial advice. as in don’t go out and buy square right now just because i talked about it. i’m asking you guys to learn about investing. do your due diligence about the companies. do you believe in them? do you think they’ll be here in 10 years? are you planning to invest in the company long term or you have an exit price where you want to cash out quick profit? do you want to do a bogleheads 3 fund portfolio? are you someone who wants to put your money in individual stocks or put your money into an all encompassing etf like VOO or SPY? it’s a tried and true method and investing in an etf on average over a 20 year period gets you more money than stock pickers or some hedge funds and definitely your bank as it returns about 7% on average every year. just learn!!! it’s not as complicated as it seems i swear]
anyway, that is the long winded answer on why i haven’t written in so long.... but please learn about investing please please please please. if you’re american you have so much more at your disposal aka your roth IRA account (you don’t have to pay taxes on your gains if you invest with this account but you can only take out the principal amount. after you are 59 and a half you can take out everything at zero tax cost) and also your 401k (if your company offers it and is doing matching, take the match PLEASE). you might get a second chance at investing at discounted prices again if the fed ever lets the market collapse in some sense lol but i think they will prop it till the election at least. anyway a financial crisis appears every give or take 10 years. also as long as you do dollar cost averaging, you should be fine. think if you bought at all time highs mid feb this year then held your stocks, bought some more when the market went through the shitter in march... then as of writing, right now, you’ll still be making profit if you sold. On August 13th, SPY (an etf that tracks the S&P500) literally closed two dollars shy from the all time high which was in mid to late feb of this year. so uhhh if it isn’t already clear, please learn to invest. whether you wanna enter the market now or wait till post election is completely up to you but PLEASE LEARN. idk if any of you ever read my financial rambles till the end but if you have questions you can message me and i can always direct you to the appropriate resources. i can show you all the videos and articles and posts i’ve read to date. don’t wait to start learning. you can learn and then wait to invest but whatever the case is, if you already have the knowledge you’ll be ready whenever there’s a good chance to invest. okay????? 
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? I don’t read all that often so no, I don’t usually feel as though I’m encountering a book for the second time. I do read a lot of wrestlers’ memoirs and sometimes I’ll come across the same story told from two different accounts, but for the most part I’m able to tell who wrote which.
What has been bothering you a lot lately? This new and major life change still, obviously. I had a beautiful, grand vision of graduating college with a significant other and building our future together and supporting each other in whatever path we take, so having to dismantle all of that against my will and calling it a ‘bother’ is definitely an understatement.
What (or who) have you been missing lately? Everything pre-September. My life has been going downhill ever since. I do try to make life a little better for myself everyday, but I’d be lying to myself if I say life has been the same.
Are you trustworthy? Yes.
Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? They never taught me this specifically, but I can imagine that my mom is more the type to tell me something like this should the need arise.
Have you ever hallucinated? I don’t think so. The closest thing to hallucinating I experienced was when I was 5. I had a high fever and kept having these awful nightmares, and I could barely tell the difference between being in the nightmare and real life. If I remember correctly, I had already woken up after my grandma shook me but I was still in the nightmare ~AU~ and still kept yelling things that were relevant in my nightmare.
Do you sleep with your door open or closed? OMG, closed all the way. It would bother me to no end if the door was open, to the point that I probably wouldn’t even be able to fall asleep.
What flags do you have in your room, if any? I used to have a Pride flag but that’s gone now cos it was too muddy and dirty anyway. 
What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? I can think of more than one, honestly. There’s Gabie, my college life, my college org, and my first job that I’m actually incredibly happy in. Past me just wanted a job that can let me earn on my own, so it’s such a fun bonus to be happy where I am.
What is the worst decision you ever made? Allowing myself to be treated like shit because “this person will change one day, I just have to wait.” Ugh, I really need to start being nicer to myself.
Do you miss college? Yeah but with this COVID thing I’m kinda glad I got out of there just in time. I probably would’ve missed college a lot more if life had remained normal, but with the new norm being online classes and asynchronous learning and never getting to be in campus...I preferably wouldn’t want to take part in these things.
Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? No.
What is your favorite arcade game? I just go for the basketball ones every time. The piano blocks game is also fun, as well as the arcade beer pong.
Do you feel neglected? Yeah. I don’t really have a choice, though. It’s something I’ve had to adjust to.
What school subject(s) are/were your best? For both high school and college, I got my best grades in history classes and electives. I’m one of the rare species who doesn’t have a problem with – and actually enjoys – memorization, lol. I also did well in English lit and biology.
Are you allergic to grass? I don’t believe I’m allergic but in my old school my legs used to get extremely irritated with the grass we have over there and it would itch like a bitch. It definitely could’ve be an allergy, but I only ever got such a reaction in that place and it’s never happened anywhere else.
Do you remember to water plants? My parents like to take care of that chore, so I don’t have to remember to do so.
What season is your birthday in? Uhhhh according to the Western calendar lol, I think it’s spring? We don’t have that here though, and we don’t follow ‘seasons’ in general except for dry and wet.
Name 3 creative people you know. Nina, Berns, Andi.
Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. I don’t really aspire to be like any of them...I watch certain YouTube channels because I find them entertaining, not because I necessarily want to be them. One video creator I watch whose life seems to be so perfect and whose life I certainly wouldn’t complain about if I suddenly had it, though, is Andi Manzano. Heart Evangelista’s a good pick, too.
What color was your first car? It’s white.
What year did you graduate? I graduated high school in 2016 and college in 2020. < Found a twin.
When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? Early September.
Have you ever been scammed? Hmm, I don’t think so.
Are you allergic to pollen? Nope.
What style of wedding dress do you like best? Something lace, backless to an extent, and preferably body-hugging as I don’t like dresses that would appear too poofy on me. Think Kate Middleton’s wedding dress but just slightly less poof on the bottom part.
Are you over your first love? No.
Do you talk on the phone a lot? I used to. I don’t anymore.
Would you rather call or text? Text, but if I had to explain something or if something had to be explained to me, I don’t mind getting into a call as long as I’m briefed first. 
Do you always answer your phone? I never do unless I recognize the number. If it’s an unknown contact, I’m hitting Reject immediately because decent people text first before calling.
When was the last time you went to a party? Late Feb. It was the same party for Hans and his friends’ small business that had hit its first year that I’ve mentioned several times on here, ugh. Haven’t really been to any gatherings since then.
What was the last thing you ate? A chocolate donut from J.Co.
What’s the last book you checked out from the library? It’s a book summarizing the Philippines’ entire history that I wish I had more time to read and appreciate.
Do you have a twitter? Yeah but since the pandemic hit my tweets have been a lot less fun for obvious reasons, so I haven’t been using it a lot.
If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? “the things i do for @Mythical aaaaaahhhhhh 1 AM-9 AM livestream later and I still have work from 9 AM-6 PM tomorrow” then the dizzy emoji copy-pasted six times. SERIOUSLY though, timezones suck and I shake my fist at LA for being 16 hours behind lmaaaao, jk. But Good Mythical Morning has never had an all-day livestream before and they never said anything about archiving it on their channel when it’s over, so I don’t want to miss out. It’s whatevs, I’ll just drink a shitload of coffee tomorrow for work.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I think it was my mom, but it’s been a while since that call.
What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? I was making a Monte Cristo but it was to cook the egg mixture that I had coated the sandwich in, not cook the sandwich itself.
What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? Green. It was a freebie from the old PR agency I interned at, so it’s a little funny I’m now using it to take notes at my present agency.
Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Gab’s youngest sister.
Who sent the last e-mail you got? It’s from a workmate, and I just got CC’d so it wasn’t addressed directly to me.
What song is currently stuck in your head? For the whole afternoon it had been Look After You by The Fray, so let’s just go with that.
Do you have a favorite shape? No.
What color are the sheets on your bed? Blue with some yellow and gold prints.
What time do you usually go to bed? 10:30 is a safe bedtime.
Do you ever use coloring books? I’ve got loads of them but they have not been colored since early 2019 because I have yet to invest in a good set of coloring pencils.
Are you planning on watching the Olympics? No, it never appealed to me.
Do you pronounce the word “often” with or without a “t” in the middle? I never pronounce it with the t sound.
Have you ever been on a trapeze? Nope.
Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? I was more obsessed with it as a kid and will hoard the bubble wrap I see at home. These days I’d still pop a good size of it, but it’s not like my life anymore.
Are there any waterfalls near where you live? There’s one in the city, but I wouldn’t say it’s near. I have to drive to the upper part of the city to get to the waterfalls which would probably take me around a half hour to do.
Do you like seafood? Oh for sure. My life pretty much runs on seafood.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? I wore a school uniform from kindergarten all the way through to high school.
If so, what did it look like? The blouse was white while the necktie and the skirt were plaid, mostly in red. We also had to wear black leather shoes with white socks.
Do you personally know anyone who is an author? My great-uncle wrote the said library book I checked out. I also had a number of professors who are established authors.
Do you own a Polaroid camera? Nah but I’ve always wanted one. Maybe now’s my chance to finally get my own.
Do you enjoy baking? It looks fun and is definitely something I’d want to try my hand on.
What’s your favorite type of flower? Peonies. < Agreed.
Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? I was headed back to Manila and unbeknownst to us at the time, that arrival would be known for the biggest family argument we have had thus far. I don’t want to go back to that place in my head again, so let’s just move on.
Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Mhm, like Aya.
What is something you think is underrated? Macarons do not get enough love for sure. It’s god-tier dessert.
Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? As soon as it hits 30ºC, I’m complaining.
In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? Thanks to Gabie and the irreparable mess she has since caused, I’m too scared to think of the future now. I never want to predict or hope for things anymore, and I’d rather wing shit from now on and not expect certain things to happen.
How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? I live right on the border of two regions so I literally went out of my home city/region every day whenever I had to report to school. I will be doing the same once where allowed to report in the workplace.
What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? Reading.
What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? I’ve only had one but it’s been a blast so far and I don’t plan on shifting paths because this is where I’ve always planned to be in. That said, I love my job in PR and working with different clients.
What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Sour cream!
Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? My parents take turns washing it by hand.
Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? Jeju, South Korea.
Farthest south? Bali, Indonesia.
East? Idk...Fukuoka in Japan or some province in the Philippines? I’m not too sure which is east-er, lmao.
West? Malaysia. Would’ve been Thailand if we actually got to go there this year -__- but whatever.
How often do you run the dishwasher? We don’t have one.
Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? Eh, either is fine but I do it at the sink a little more often.
Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. I cannot for the life of me relate to makeup or skincare routines. I also never understood the appeal of Instagram and posing for photos in public and painstakingly editing them for likes.
Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. ^ I think those still fit here, since people my age are into both.
Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? We have masquerade masks on our living room table and I don’t understand why my mom, queen of throwing things out, is not throwing them out. It’s such a random...addition and they don’t go with the vibe of the house at all. But they’ve been hanging out there for so long that my family doesn’t even notice anymore, and much less do they say anything about them.
Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? We have a coffee maker, which is a bit of a unnecessary/luxury purchase where I live; I dunno if it’s the same for other countries. My dad’s a chef so he knows all the tips and hacks to be resourceful in the kitchen, and so he’s never felt the need to buy any other fancy shmancy kitchen stuff like air fryers or waffle irons or sandwich presses.
What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? They both took up hotel and restaurant management, just in different universities.
Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? HAHAHAHA, not at all. People are often surprised when I tell them about what my parents do for living which is understandable, given that journalism and PR are such far cries from the hospitality industry as a whole.
What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? Trig and calc.
How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? ...I’m still learning...
How old were you when you learned how to swim? Around 4 or 5. My parents liked taking us to this water park every weekend when my siblings and I were a lot younger, so I learned how to handle myself in the water from all those trips.
How do you react when someone is rude to you? If it’s someone I know and am close with, I just tell them directly that they’re having a bit of an attitude with me. If it’s anyone else, my reaction depends on my mood: if I’m feeling nice I just simply counter the rudeness with kindness, but sometimes I’ll be just as big of a bitch, just subtle.
Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? Yes, back in middle school. I feel bad now, because I kind of just ditched her, but at the time I felt like it was my only option. < I remember being like this with someone Gab and I tried to be friends with back in Grade 7. Sofie was also a little clingy, but in a way that I never minded it because I actually enjoyed her company.
What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Typhoons, definitely.
Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? The dry season, because I hate the sun.
Do you have a Netflix account? We have a family bundle and I have my own account on that. But yeah, I don’t pay for it.
Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? We don’t have an attic but there was one time a stray cat got into the house and it took forever to get it back out, lol. It was feisty so we couldn’t just pick it up. The cat also ended up scratching some of our curtains.
Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? Anywhere new, man. My only traveling rule is to not repeat destinations, at least not within 5-7 years. I’m open to exploring any town or city or country I’ve never been to.
How long does it take to get there? -
When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? It was a new chapter last August when I graduated college, but I had to very hurriedly turn the page into a new chapter when I got my internship - that would eventually lead to my first job - and went through a breakup last September.
What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I rarely go inside my sister’s room, just because there’s never really any reason to be there unless I’m borrowing something from her.
What is the last random act of kindness you did? Gave a small tip to the nice man who helped me get out of my parking spot when I went to the bank yesterday. Loiterers are common in public areas and they’ll usually help out people exiting from their parking, so I usually give whatever I can to help them get by. 
Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? My bedroom light is never turned on, but I don’t really do it specifically to reduce my electricity usage. I just don’t like my personal space to be too bright, and it’s just a nice bonus to be able to save on electricity while doing so.
Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Typically, yes, although I do have certain foods that I have no interest in trying. < Yep. I’m open to absolutely anything but if a meal has something I already don’t like, like fruits or raisins, then I shy away from those.
Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? Not as often as I used to, but I definitely still have soft spots for A Fever, Pretty. Odd., and Vices & Virtues. As for the newer music, I don’t tune in to the albums themselves and listen to the entire tracklists but I wouldn’t skip a P!ATD single if it came on the radio.
Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? I probably have but they’ve all been forgettable.
Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? Not really. I’ll listen to Hayley here and there, but that’s it.
Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? Yes. This has been the case with my mom for around 6-7 years now. I guess there was just one point in our relationship where she got too mad, I got too traumatized, and it has since kept me from saying it back.
If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? Yeah, especially if I shared something deeply personal and important to me, like a life achievement. Of all social media, people are always most likely to react on Facebook (relatives in particular would like or heart anything I post lmao) so a post that would go completely ignored would be confusing but would also sting.
Which friend do you confide in most? Used to be Gabie but now it’s either Anj or Andi.
Do you wear a cross? No.
What is your opinion on Arby’s? THIS IS SUCH A LONG SURVEY, AAAHHHHHHHH. Anyway, never had it. I have heard Arby’s is one of the rather mid-tier restaurants in the US, like it’s not trash but it’s no In-N-Out...I’d still love to try it though. Aren’t they known for like roast beef sandwiches or something? Those sound delightful.
When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? I just want it to be idiot-proof because I can get pretty dumb in the kitchen.
What is your favorite doughnut? Chocolate glazed with sprinkles. Will always be a kid at heart when it comes to donuts.
Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? We don’t have one.
Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? I jumped on the bandwagon once the first movie came out, which was still pretty early on in the whole Twilight craze tbh. I started in 2009 when I was able to read all the books and watch New Moon in the cinema, then I proceeded to catch the midnight screenings for all the movies that came after that.
What is your favorite party game? Pinoy Henyo is a big favorite. It’s basically a Filipino version of Heads-Up, just ever so slightly better and more chaotic, which makes it funnier.
Do you or your parents rake your yard? My mom sweeps, not rakes.
Were you pro-Obama? I think ‘pro’ is too strong a stance. I like remaining neutral and cautious when it comes to US presidents especially considering the US’ history of imperialism in and overall relationship with my country but like, I don’t hate Obama. My vote, if I ever was eligible, would still go to him, but of course it’s best to remain wary and critical of his moves.
What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? I don’t really have one. I don’t do much shopping there. < Same.
What was the last illegal thing you did? Probably speeding. My lunch break ends at 1 PM but I was still at the bank by like 12:50 yesterday, so I had to drive like a maniac to get home on time lmao.
Who did you last go to the movies with? Gabie.
What color was the last vehicle you were in? White.
Do you have any family members in the military right now? As far as I know, no.
Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? Nope, no ceiling fans in the house in general.
When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Today. I love my work, but it can get tiring too and I also find myself occasionally wishing the day was over already.
Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? Nopes. But I do remember when owls were a popular hipster design and everyone had like owl necklaces and shit. What a time.
Have you ever heard voices? Like other voices in my head? No.
Do you believe in angels and demons? Nope.
Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? It wasn’t my neighbors per se but the helpers of my neighbors used to play cheesy 80s and 90s hits obnoxiously loud every morning and it woke me up every time and I didn’t really have a choice but wait for their stupid listening session to end. I’m so glad they since stopped, but it was my own little piece of hell back then.
Did your Barbies go on dates? [continued from last night] I didn’t do much with my Barbies, honestly. I was mostly curious about their production and liked taking off their clothes to see how the toy company dealt with their private areas lmao. I think my sister and I also drew and doodled on a bunch of our dolls.
If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? I didn’t really do any coming out. One day I just acknowledged my attraction towards Gabie with myself, and when I started dating her I just let everyone figure it out for themselves. I’ve never felt like I had an orientation anyway, so I never felt the need to come out.
Where did you meet your first crush? School, back in kindergarten. But we didn’t formally meet until the end of grade school.
Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? Not at all. I remember the people who introduced us, but not our first meeting itself.
Do you ever go places with wet hair? On some days back in college, when there was no traffic going to school I would end up arriving with my hair still kind of wet. This is also the case with Sunday mass (when we could still attend), since we usually headed out as soon as we had taken a shower.
Who is your favorite little girl? I’m a sucker for my friends’ little sisters, like Gabie’s and Athenna’s. I also never got to have a lot of female cousins, so I cherish the few ones I have - Maggie, Bree, and Sam - who are all considerably younger than me.
What do you want the most in life? Contentment. Wherever place I ultimately end up in, I hope to find satisfaction and contentment in it.
What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? Choosing to say ‘fuck it, what do I have to lose’ and send a letter of interest for my present company, who didn’t even have any job openings at the time I sent it out. If I shied away from the lack of openings and never sent out that letter, I never would have been offered an internship, and without taking that internship I never would have been offered a job after a couple of months. So I have to say that’s a pretty fucking solid move of mine.
Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Sigh. I avoid this exact thought all the time because of how sad it’s able to make me.
When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? Yup, it’s just habit.
If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? I’d pick Billie Eilish’s insane ability to hold very soft/quiet notes (ugh, she’s grown on me), Hayley Williams’ range, and Beyoncé’s stamina.
What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Synth pop, indie rock, R&B.
Where did you buy your dishes from? My mom bought our newest set from...probably a department store. Idk, I wasn’t there with her when she got it a few weeks ago.
Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? There’ll be advancements in this lifetime for sure, but we’ve got a long way to go before colonization is even remotely feasible.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? Maybe all the shit I bought Gabie throughout the six years, most of them I had to skip meals for? Lmao just kidding, I’m not that kind of ex. I got her a lot of useful stuff, like a Hydroflask, and I mean I don’t completely regret buying them. As long as she still uses them and as long as those things still help in making life easier for her, then the purchases are still worth it.
What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? My cross stitch kit that I thought I was never going to learn. I am now realizing how fun it is and will probably buy a shit ton of kits for myself once Christmas season is over.
Have you ever been on a ship? Yes. My dad gave me a cruise trip for my 18th birthday, and it ended up being really fun :)
Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? Yeah, I go on detoxes 1-2 times a year where I deactivate all my accounts and am only reachable through text. It usually happens every Christmas season, but sometimes I’ll go through a particularly low point where I’d feel the need to go on a social media break.
Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? I don’t listen to Van Halen.
Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Any character from BoJack Horseman. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? I wasn’t required to take foreign language electives in college like other courses, so I really wish I got to take them :( I can’t imagine how fun it would’ve been to go to class for the sole purpose of learning Spanish or Korean or Italian. Also, even though I took like 5-6 history electives, I still wish I had the chance to take all the other history offerings.
Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? I have been in the general vicinity of both – my mom works in a hotel and we’ve booked rooms there several times, while my cruise took place in the liner my dad works in. But I’ve only ever been to my dad’s workplace, when he took some time out of his day to show me his kitchen and let me have some of the escargot before they went out to guests :)
What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? I quickly looked it up and I don’t disagree with its thesis.
Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? I used to be like this with Gab, but with me...hmm, my mom liked biting us as kids, and sometimes she’d go pretty hard, yeah. It was never out of anger, of course.
Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) Yes.
Ever gave one? Anddddd yes.
Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? Shy if a situation is overall unfamiliar, but I can be outgoing once I start to warm up.
Do you think it’s weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? Nope.
Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? Having been unceremoniously dumped, I’m self-conscious about a million things rn. It’ll take a while for things to be back on track again, self-esteem-wise.
Are you flirty at all? No.
Are you racist at all? I don’t particularly like the Chinese because of the way they treat Filipinos and how most of them behave in my country, like that one asshat who was caught shitting in a local tourist spot here. It gets too tiring to keep on forgiving them at some point.
Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) I don’t see a reason why I wouldn’t.
If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? If they were distressed, I’d take them to the nearest security guard and ask for help in looking for their parents. I honestly have no clue how I’d deal with a kid who was otherwise bubbly and doing okay by themselves because I might just look like a kidnapper if I went near them lol.
Would you rather adopt or have your own child? Have my own.
What would you class as cheating on someone? If you’re doing something that requires you to be too close with another person to the point that you have to acknowledge that your partner is not aware of what you’re up to/they don’t have to know what you’re up to. Once that acknowledgment is out of the bag, it’s cheating for me.
Do you try to be politically correct? Yeah.
What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Dolphins.
Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? I don’t think so.
As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Hoops for days.
Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? I think it’s vital to have PE in an education system that requires students to be mostly on their butts. A lot of people hate getting physical and active, and that’s exactly the reason why PE should be around.
Do you recycle? I try to, whenever I can.
Are you interested in current world issues? Yep yep, very.
Do you think you are mature, or immature? I can definitely be petty at times, but I think I mostly act maturely and that those who know me can back me up on it.
What kind of career are you interested in? Public relations, which is under the umbrella of media and communications. I like not being tied to one product, and it’s always awesome to see campaigns that I help with for various big brands come to life.
Do you own a pair of sunglasses? Nah. I was never into them.
Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? I use a hair tie on a daily basis and bobby pins for formal events where I need my hair to be pristinely neat. I nevr use hair clips.
How badly do you get acne? (If at all) Oh god. I got two pimples in between my eyes right now, and it’s the first time I’ve gotten acne since...a year and a half, maybe? My acne isn’t bad at all and it’s never been an issue, so I always panic on the extremely rare occasions I see one or two pop up on my face.
What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? I should be the one asking that! Tips are always welcome, you guys.
If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? I probably came off as aloof, which is a fairly common observation.
How many text messages do you have in your inbox at the moment? I don’t delete messages and my phone doesn’t provide me with the total, so suffice it to say there are probably thousands of texts currently in my phone.
When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? I’m still deciding if I want to keep Gabie around. She honestly doesn’t deserve it, but she’s also my best friend in the world, so idk.
In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? Chemistry, trigonometry, calculus. Physics was hard in high school but became easier in college, and I believe it boils down to the teachers who taught them.
Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? Yes.
Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? I haven’t done that in a while.
Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? I think it was one of my cousins, Maggie. I don’t remember. But it was probably her.
Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? Maybe Andi? I haven’t had anyone ask me that for a while now.
What does your handwriting look like? I’m the go-to person whenever neat handwriting is needed on a document or something, so I guess that must mean my handwriting is decent. The biggest comment that I get, though, is that my letters are too tiny hahaha.
Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? Sometimes I’ll use hair gel for important events because I have the most annoying baby hairs, but otherwise those two are pretty much all I use.
Who were your best friends in primary school? Angela, Pia, Tammy, Marielle, Pam, Gaille, Nina.
Do you still speak to any of them? I only ever actively speak with Angela; she’s still my best friend. Pia and I are mutuals on social media and we’ll sometimes keep the other up to speed with the latest gossip lolol, but I wouldn’t call her my best friend. I lost contact with Tammy, Nina, and Pam after high school, and Gaille when she migrated. I cut Marielle out of my life after she did something shitty that broke my trust.
What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? A bottle of water, I think.
What color hair did your first crush have? Black.
What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? Sneakersssssss.
Are you more masculine or feminine? More feminine, definitely.
If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? I don’t know how to...design things on my own lol, but I’d love a Friends-themed mug, or maybe even a GMM-themed one :)
What is the best beach you’ve been to? Palawan felt almost unreal with how breathtaking it was. I really felt at peace there.
What is one thing you physically can’t do? Lift a water container.
Have you ever been to a funeral? Not a funeral, but I’ve been to several wakes.
Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? I don’t think we have those.
Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? Again, we don’t have those.
Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? My mom, in what really shouldn’t come as a shock, has always liked for us to be in the front row. I’m SO glad we don’t have to physically attend mass anymore; I always felt like I was being burned alive whenever I entered a church lol
What is your favorite park? I wish I had an answer for this but we don’t have any public parks because Philippines.
Have you ever felt an earthquake? Yeah, it happens prrrrretty often, at least once every few months. There was one just last week.
Do you chew gum regularly? Nah but this did made me think of JM, who always had a pack of gum with him without fail everyday.
Where did you go on your first train ride? It was headed to Manila, but my destination was Pasay.
Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? It’s possible. I went to high school with people who were half-German and half-Swiss, and I’m guessing they held dual citizenships.
What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) I don’t really root for any other than my college’s team.
Do you dunk your cookies in milk? If there’s milk around, sure. 
What is something you are confident about? I don’t know. I haven’t felt that at all lately.
Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? Nope.
How do you feel about needles? Can’t do shots, blood tests, and IV without freaking out and/or feeling faint. But I can handle sewing needles apparently, judging from how I was able to do cross-stitching last week. As for tattoos, still unsure if I can handle getting one even though I already have a couple of designs in mind.
What is your favorite accent to listen to? That British accent that sounds super posh lol, the one Florence Pugh and Hugh Grant have. Idk what it’s called.
What was the reason you last got dressed up? Job interview.
Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? I was the subject of a rumor once, but I didn’t and don’t find it cruel. It was a typical middle school rumor.
^ What were they? That I was dating my friend Andi and was bisexual. The one with Andi I can kind of understand, since I did have a bit of a crush on her then; I just didn’t know I was bad at hiding it. But for people to go as far as telling others I was bisexual was a little surprising.
Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? Form-fitting. I never liked loose clothing on me.
^ What about on your preferred gender? I don’t have a preferred gender, and I think it really depends per person.
What do you do when you are really, really mad? I isolate myself so that I don’t have to explode on anyone.
Would you rather go naked than wear fur? Is it real fur? I’d go naked.
Do you put a line through your 7’s? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.
^ What about your Z’s? ^ Same answer. I like keeping things different, hahaha.
What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? Break my self-esteem. Constructive criticism is fine, of course, but it’ll be very hard to forgive people who make it their lives to point out my flaws or carelessly hurl hurtful words/insults at me, aka my mom. I’ve never forgiven her about it and it’s the main reason why I’ve since been unable to say “I love you” back whenever she says it.
Are you able to forgive and forget? No. That’s not my preferred route; I’ve always been the grudge-y kind of person.
Do you like cold pizza? Yesssssss. I don’t have a preference between hot or cold, but I have never complained about cold pizza for sure. I ate a slice of pizza right out of the fridge just yesterday.
What is your favorite fruit? Eh.
What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? I don’t really have one. I guess orange, as long as it’s not too sour - so basically not pure orange juice lol.
Do you like broccoli and cheese? Haven’t tried it but the pairing sounds *chef’s kiss*
What about potatoes and cheese? Yum.
Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? Not lately, but I plan to.
Toaster or toaster oven? Toaster oven, since we’ve actually had that. We’ve never needed a toaster.
What are you most known for? It depends on who you’re talking to, I’d say. I think different people know me by different things.
Do you have any reputations? What are they? I’m never comfortable claiming things like this, because there’s always the possibility that who I think I am to other people might be far from the truth. Overall, I just try to be myself and still remain nice to everyone while doing so so that I don’t develop a strong reputation for anything.
Do you wear band shirts? Not really.
^ What band was on the last one you wore? I don’t wear them.
Do you own any hats? Describe them. I have a white sunhat that I never got to wear because I’ve always found it too big and flashy and I never wanna draw attention to myself when outside, which it definitely would’ve done for me.
What about masks, you got any? Describe those. I just wear the basic blue surgical face masks.
What was the last thing to leave you speechless? Hearing the amount of money GMM raised for their livestream earlier today, and basically seeing just how insanely successful the livestream in general was.
Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? My parents never got to know my college friends so they don’t have an opinion on them; they’re still pretty attached to my group in high school hahaha so like Gab, Angela, Athenna, Chelsea, etc, who they all still love and occasionally ask about.
Have you been called a bad influence? Idk, maybe, out of earshot.
Describe your favorite pair of socks. I don’t have any.
Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? First real job and the breakup of a long-term relationship that I had initially finally stopped having doubts about.
Have any self-done piercings? OMG I can finally see the end of this survey holy shit. It took me two damn days, ughhhhhh. Anyway, hell no. I’d injure myself so badly.
Ever pierced someone else? Most definitely not.
Do you get distracted easily? It depends on how much I actually care about whatever it is I’m doing. < Agree. My focus is unpredictable.
Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? Stressful. No matter how pleasant they or the conversation turns out to be, I’m always more stressed than anything else and I let out a sigh of relief as soon as it’s over.
How do you feel about getting new neighbors? It’d be super refreshing, considering the houses on our left and right were literally just built, but never actually inhabited.
How many ceiling fans are in your home? We don’t have any. Do you tweet your life away? Not anymore. I used to tweet my entire life back in high school, but when I realized literally none of my classmates were the same and that I looked so lonely doing it, I made an effort to lessen the tweets and eventually the new habit caught on.
How do you feel about shameless self promoting? I don’t think much of it.
When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? Haha, yeah.
What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? Not always. Soooo many people like typing in all caps anyway, so this has been more normalized to me lately.
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drennalynspast · 4 years
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[ Men and Me ]
Friday, Feb. 14, 2014
it was in 2013 when i first ventured into the whole dating scene -- all at the age of 24. and some people have had multiple relationships or significant lasting ones or partners at the start of age 15. they've already been through the heartbreak and some have experienced and found their true love. </p><p>i suppose i am slowly figuring out how other people behave: their hidden agendas, ultimatums and the like. 
i've been through a friends with benefit scenario, i've been through long distance online, i've experienced a relationship in which it focused on more sex than intimacy and another relationship where it seemed to be intimate, but lacked sex and had some.. control/esteem issues involved.
i just seem to find myself in shit.  i haven't proclaimed love to anyone, and i haven't been able to label something as "serious" yet due to these things lasting at most 4 months so far. (the fwb and online thing is an exception)</p><p>i know that if one relationship or dating scenario fails, i tell myself i will just create an initial stratagem or mindset to go in the next time i approach another date differently. 
i finally fucking realize the concept of playing games. i finally understand why people may be initially cold hearted, closed, bitter, and some who are arrogant (who claim to just say it's positive trait called overconfidence) and just asses.  all of this: it's called being insecure.  it's trying to put up boundaries to not allow other people to hurt them.
i realize that i am just like them.  more like, sometimes i let my boundaries come completely down, and then i get hurt.  the next time, i don't want to be hurt as much anymore, so i just show less of myself. 
i put up a front.  i am a socially awkward, demure, morose female.  i like dark things. i don't smile a lot. i hate wearing bright colors. i  don't favor a delicate fashion style. i may seem like i am angry and standoffish.  i may seem cold and unaware.but deep down inside, i am just a female that yearns to find a mutual feeling of substantial acceptance, adoration and devotion.  i'm scared, sad, unsure of the unknown. i may not be confident in myself, but i have confidence in the other person.  i wish the best for them, i see the goodness in them even if they think they are a bad person. i want to be there for the person. i want to try my best to make the other person feel happy and valued. i am willing to do a lot of things for you. i put so much investment in you.  i may be slow to warm up, i may not show it so easily, but i do genuinely care.
despite how i feel deep down inside, i feel that it goes unnoticed, unappreciated, unaccepted and scrutinized by these men i have come across. i understand that maybe it is  just simply my type of persona that they may not be so attracted to.  i am creepy i suppose.  i like a lot of sex and kinks; i say weird things about how i jokingly want to kill you.  
about sex:  i like someone, and i refuse to have sex early. then the guy will just fucking run away because they get no sex.  scenario two, i like someone, i try not to have expectations of it turning into something so i have sex soon.  the person runs away even after one sex and i get butthurt.  scenario three, i am not interested in a guy's personality and i want to just use him for sex, he doesn't give me as much sex as i would like and goes missing for how many weeks.
moral of the story:  withholding sex and even giving sex too soon is -not- going to fucking get a guy to stick around for you for a while.  you think that you give them sex, hell yeah you like the sex and you want to keep having sex with the male, but somehow... some men just don't give a fuck about you. even if you are hot. they still want to chase other women.  it isn't the sex with one female they care about. they care about the chase, the hunt, the variety. your pussy doesn't matter them them. just giving your pussy once to them is enough satisfaction for them. i'll have an order of one pussy please, thanks and g'bye. 
i thought that just being myself i could just make it easier for myself to relax, have fun, be confident, be carefree.. real.  and somehow just revealing that side of myself to myself while the other person is just... not themselves in a way is rather odd.  i understand that if i be myself, it will allow myself to feel more hurt from the pain of rejection.  if i don't express myself fully, then i won't feel as hurt.  we put up barriers to protect ourselves.  i realize that being my true self may make it easier for other people to accept my true me and perhaps they may learn to take a liking from that.
i don't want to try to convince you to like me. i don't want to try to chase you.  i just want to go into something without pressure and worry.  i realize that yes, i am the one that needs to chill the fuck out and not care or expect someone to like me after the first date---  to consider me being a person they could imagine being with for a long while.  i suppose i fall for people too fast if i like them.
i have to understand that yeah... people will try to make statements to flatter the other person, to reel them into just getting them to meet them or get into their fucking pants.  and the moment they see a flaw, an annoyance or imperfection, some people just bolt and don't want to deal with it. maybe they aren't trying to purposely be a douchebag or cruel person.  they just "ain't got time for dat annoying shit".  
anyway, i just have to convince myself and tell myself that all fucking first dates are a lie. even the second and third one may be a lie too.  it's all just a scam-- an elaborate act or play.  people will say they are interested in you. they will say that you intrigue them and you are beautiful. they make plans or suggestions on doing stuff in the future "the next time".  the first meetings are pivotal in the sense of trying to... manipulate someone in trying to get a positive impression out of you.
holy shit, i may have just simplified my life a little easier with the idea of adopting this mindset. yes, be pessimistic. don't be naive.  don't be too trusting. don't give a fuck.  why the fucking hell should i try to be my "true self" in front of a person when the other person isn't being themselves either in the initial meetings. don't try to flatter me and then you lie through your teeth and not genuinely feel like you are into me that much. fuck all this fake bullshit.  
guard my heart. i need to protect myself.  
Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day.  NERDS CAN'T LOVE (inside joke)
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tellmesomethinggg · 4 years
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****
linking this here bc it was technically a journal? i just don’t want it on my notes anymore and if i ever (likely not to) want to re-read for whatever reason. please note that i knew people would read this so things are censored and are the basic version. also there was a switch at one point from **** to chris because i didn’t want things to be read
(for later when i got time lmao)
Matt is a piece of shit that just wants to fuck -Chloe
well fuck
here goes nothing
the plan: don’t get drunk bc i got shit to do early next morning and ill tell him tomorrow when i do get drunk. spoiler alert that didn’t work
Gaby (coles gf) came too btw
so i had a smirnoff ice and said no more than two shots after so id be buzzed but not fully drunk (i ended up having three and was very much drunk)
me jon and gaby we’re talking about guys and i mentioned something about liking a guy or some shit and gaby looks at matt and then me and confirms it with me. then she tells me that apparently when she met me and a few other friends at the beach last quarter, that she predicted the two of us would end up together and told cole this. im like wtf how and she claims she’s psychic lol
later, Matt and i are on the sack and he looks at me and goes do you like me and im thinking well fuck so i say yes and he’s like well shit sorry but (and then i forgot exactly what he said) something along the lines of it’s not mutual or it’s not the right timing (i forgot okay) and then he gets up after a bit to go to the bathroom (I’m pretty sure cole went out too) and then me gaby and Jon have a chisme session and they think that he does like me but whatever
so the guys come back and at this point i really need to pee again so matt offers to take me and we start talking and he’s all, oh im sorry if i led you on and shit and im like it’s alright ill get over it, it just might be a bit awkward for me for a bit. but then on our way back from the bathroom he asks me , do you wanna at least kiss your crush at least one time and im like uhh yeah so he kisses me and then we start talking but i forgot about what and im kinda dizzy so he says, oh let’s sit on the couches for a bit before we go back, so we do and somehow we kiss again and then start making out
and at this point im like bitch there’s no way you don’t like me like why would you do that if you didn’t
so we finally go back and it’s been some time so the rest of em are obviously curious
matt goes with cole to the bathroom again and the three of us have a chisme session otra vez and they’re like yeah he fucking likes you he’s prob just scared bc of his last relationship
cole comes back in and basically backs up their side based on his convo he just had with matt
and so it’s decided that we’ll both sleep on the sack, Jon sleeps on his bed and the other two together in coles bed
he comes back and we all “go to sleep” but I push for him to hold me like he usually does whenever we sleep together and around like 2,3 am we both start making out again and just like uhhhh
also we’re both very much drunk but of course i tend to remember things whenever ive gotten drunk, however, he did not and so now we gotta talk and figure shit out and go from there
also im not telling Emilou or Hanna yet until we figure things out so
yeah
fuck
alrighty, so after last night, ive decided to do absolutely nothing about it and decided to just let things play out the way things do. i don’t wanna say something and ruin our friendship that we have bc i trust him a lot and like hanging out with him, so, i guess the end of this note for now, unless the situation changes anytime soon
Can Tim see what I write on this?     -Chloe
Yes -Janet
Hi Tim!
-Chloe
Tim pls respond.
-Chloe
Hi Chloe! Sorry I have been busy at home LOL
He responded I’m so happy!
-Chloe
FYI im just going to add things at the top of the note so that its easiwr to see stuff when i add it bc then otherwise youd have to scroll a ton
and I’m dating shit so i know when I wrote stuff and my memory and yeahhh
FEB 15 1 pm
chillin in alp so lets get this chisme
alrighty so last night i stayed the night in pratts but it wasnt just me so calmate, it was me and jon bc long story short i was too lazy/dizzy to get up and jons roommate had her bf over. basically we both shared the bed, not a lot of physical contact but whateva
brb
anyways, there was also one point where he was watching a movie from his childhood and idk what tf it was but he was shocked that i havent seen those movies, so apparently now im gonna watch them so i told him for payback we gotta watch disney movies lmao
oh also! i fucking got back to my room and took a shower to get ready for class, and when hanna gets back from class shes all like oh you slept in HiS rOoM huh and i was like uhhh yeah and told her the truth like i was too lazy and dizzy to get up and then she didnt really say anything but uhhhh yikes
and then i mentioned this to emilou later when we were walking to class and shes like yeah idk why she did that that was weird and i was thinking like thank God she doesnt think the same as hanna bc shes also slept in his room on the bean bag a few times
FEB 14 2pm
heyyy its valentines day and guess whos still single and workinggg
so uhhh last night, around 1, both me and pratt finished our shit (hw and studying) and im wide awake so im like hey, brooklyn 99? (because i got him into the show and i love rewatching the show bc its sooo good) and hes down so we start watching in his room. were both on his bed but were sitting (for the tie being) and eventually i decide to lay down and use one of his pillows but its the flat pillow so i attempt to steal his other one, which he protests and we lowkey wrestle over it and eventually i fail ugh and i fall over in frustration and land my head on his knee and then just quit and stay there, but get this, he just deals with it and lays on top of me, like his head is on my side. granted we both also have pillows so like his pillow is in between me and him and same for me but like ughhh
and eventually i fall asleep for like an episode (?) and wake up right before 3 am, and then decide hey sleep sounds important bc i have an 8 am and so does he, so i sit up but im too lazy to get up right away so i sit and go through twitter and shit so chris just lays down with his head on my leg and i set my arm down on his chest and he falls asleep for a few minutes and then i finish going through my social media and every part of me doesnt wanna move, but im also in a position that would be uncomfortable to fall asleep in so i wake him up and then go back to my room
oh and the other thing i forgot was that for a good couple hours we were texting and joking around and yeahhh
i feel like im reading a lot into what happens but at the same time, like i doubt id be this comfortable doing shit with guys like this and idk about him, but like sometimes i wonder you know?
also, saturday night, as far as i know, its just me and him going to the basketball game bc idk who else is going (eye emoji insert here bc im on my computer lmao) so we'll see what happens
FEB 10 11am
okay soooo last night,
the plan was to get buzzed, just me and matt and watch Brooklyn 9-9 but then Anthony and emilou joined us so never mind. after a bit, Anthony leaves so he can answer a phone call and pratt offers me shot #1 and not emilou (she’s laying on the bean bag, I’m on his roommates bed chillin behind her so she can’t see what’s up)
we take two and im slightly buzzed but i think “hey lets see how much we can take before she notices” and he’s down so uhhh let’s get this
later we have to include Anthony and he’s down to see how much we can take and he just lets us continue, i get to 4 shots and he finishes the bottle so i can’t have a 5th
brb im gonna go eat with him
okay im back now...
anyways were both pretty out of it, emilou still hasnt noticed and anthony finds this all funny i assume and so do i , and eventually she finds out and then the two of them leave i guess around 2 am and the two of us are both on the bean bag and were both tired and drunk and drunk me like petting his hair and apparently holding his hand and well yeah i kinda hate drunk me bc if that wasnt obvious enough lmao :/
continuin, we basically end up cuddled together most of the night until we both kind of sober up hella early in the morning and kind of separate a bit
and so in the morning guess who brought it uppp and i at least have an excuse that i was drunk and not thinking and just kinda doing whatever drunk me wanted to do (but omggg his hair is so fucking nice to play with omg) anyways imma just die real quick bc idk what happens now
also since no one else was in the room literally no one else knows about this and i think were keeping it that way bc lets be honest if anyone found out about that i think id be screwed for secret keeping and then well yeah
FEB 8 1AM
i remembered:
sunday 2-3
i forgot this happened but before I ended up in chris’s room i was chillin upstairs watching tv and then he came out on the phone with some one and long story short he said something on the phone to his friend along the lines of “you’re gonna have me in your life for a long time” and when he was saying that i was looking at him bc soy chismosa and i was curious and he winked at me and I died
Monday 2-4
so the other thing that happened was I had lunch/dinner with him before my writing class and no recuerdo que decimos, but uhhhh yeah
i like hanging out with him
also, just got back from his room and am more convinced that he may not like me but actually just sees me as a friend but at the same time maybe he does but IDK
i hate feelings and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t have them sometimes lmaooo
FEB 7 5-7 PM
so im currently in the room rn so im gonna try to make this as chronological as possible
saturday 2-2
alrighty so mind you this is the day ive volunteered with ship and have spent the whole day there, (i dont remember why i thought this was relevant :/)
so saturday night, i go to work in his room around 8 (?) so i can work on my essay and finish my shit bc he has a bean bag thats hella comfy to work on
andd so later on, jocelyn comes in to watch anime with him and then after i finish we all decide to watch gabriel iglesias and ended up squishing together on the bean bag with me in the middle of the two of them
and so were all chillin there, laughing whatever and at one point chris fucking pratt puts his head on my shoulder for a little bit and i dIeDddd
and eventually i fall asleep when we start watching emperors new groove and mind you im fucking next to chris pratt like uhhhh my GOD
so i wake up once the movies over and then go to the bathroom and come back and by then he has taken over the whole bean bag and im sad that i cant just get back and go back to sleep so i go back to my room
(hanna doesnt know what time i get back i think and im pretty sure it was around4 am) (emilous also not here bc she went home for the weekend)
sunday 2-3
so i decide hey i was productive yesterday and decide to return to his room to work on shit and try to get as much done before work in theevening
i finish around 1/2? and then i tell him im bored and i wanna do something before work but idk what so he says lets go to the rec room and its just the two of us and its chillin and he puts me on his story playing pool lmao
and then i go to work :(
but then THEN later after work i go for a run and end up back in his room and theres a couple other people there and so were all chilling (mind you this is around midnight)
and somehow i end up falling asleep on the bean bag next to this girl jon from my hall and (this is a secret in a secret) but i hear her get up at one point and then chris pratt then joins me and during the night im tossing and turning and leaning on him a bit (ughhhh i died a shit ton)
monday 2-4
so in the morning around 720 or so i wake up pay dumb and am like oh whend you get here and he explains and then hes like yeah i dont really know the girl who slept in my bed (one of jons friends) and i figured since im more comfortable with you id just move here (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me upppp) [please note that when i say fuck me up i dont mean that type of fuck]
alrighty thats what i remember that i havent told you, and then the other bit from the screen record was tuesday and now its thursday and here i am in guess whos room again
possibly staying the night lmao
but jons also here so its not like im staying the night staying the night
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What a year its been...
This is my one and only chance to say it but 2nd Feb marks the day I decided to fully join the Choices fandom on tumblr. My little blog is one year old! Brace yourself, this is the story of how I came to be... like an X-Men origin story but weirder, not as cool, way more tacky and severely lacking Hugh Jackman
I actually downloaded the app in January and started by playing HSS, unknowingly buying diamonds with the few that PB gives us to start with. When I quickly realised I had to BUY diamonds to keep playing I was like HELL NAH! At this point I’d never spent any real money on an app before and I wasn’t about to start now. 
That is until I started playing TRR.... 
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I started playing what would become by favourite book just as a way to get diamonds for HSS because I was determined to finish that one to the end. I stuck to my guns, tapping half heartedly through the chapters, not really reading the dialogue until we got to the scene in the Beaumont mansion where we had the option to follow Drake to see what the Beaumonts were up to and I was like huh there’s more to this plot than meets the eye. So much more shit that went down behind the scenes and immediately resolved to pay closer attention to the book. 
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Still wasn’t buying diamonds though. I thought Max was a hoot, Hana was a delicate flower, and Liam was sweet - the tag line for book 1 was something like ‘Will you win the prince’s hand or will you fall for another?’ and I was like Of course imma snag that prince coz he’s MUTHAEFFING THE PRINCE WEREN”T YOU PAYING ATTENTION!’ 
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Still not keen on Drake though. And I was missing so much of the main storyline (and his) by not paying I was like OK FINE I’LL BUY INTO IT JUST THIS ONCE
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Still living on that poor uni student life so I only bought the scenes I REALLY REALLY thought were worth it. And that was not many. It didn’t take me until the scene at the Lythikos when I realised hmm it weird we didn’t get to kiss that Drake guy, I’ve kissed Liam but not him like???? 
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Anyways the Liam playthrough was getting kinda boring like mm kay you’re never around but for some reason you’re obsessed with MC (and I didn’t know it was called MC, I just called her Althea which was Liz’s OG name which never really suited her IMO) so I tried to focus more on the other parts of the story  was kinda non-plussed, like well that was fun i guess...? LIke he’s cute but he doesn’t really set me on fire.. Mkay lets try this Drake dude and see whats up with him. 
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K cool so I wzs playing the game (or rather the game was playing me) focusing more on Drakey boi THEN IT HIT ME I was like damn wow theres a lot to this dude I don’t notice right away when mindlessly tapping through, like his sarcastic humour and guarded nature - I’ve always loved characters like that (I’d just finished my obsession with Cassandra Clare’s Infernal Devices series and he reminded me of Will for some odd reason) then we got to the Beaumont scene AGAIN and I was like GODDAMN THE ANGST IS GOOD HERE (didn’t buy the study scene so my dumbass missed out on kissing DW... AGAIN) 
I made it all the way to the finale with out that scene and when I realised I hadn’t had that first kiss, I was mad and restarted the book (we’re on restart 2 btw) and obsessively bought all the Drake diamond scenes. My fam was out of the country so I binged the whole thing in like a day or two after which I was overwhelmed with a lot of feelings and emotions that I didn’t know what to do with and I just sat there trying to process them and failing like 
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THEN I WENT ON TO TUMBLR...
And I binged all of @mrswalkerwrites and @angstymarshmallow‘s drake fics but I just couldn’t take it. I STILL HAD THE FEELS AND IF I DIDN”T DO SOMETHING SOON I WAS GONNA SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST
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Then I came across a theory by @chantelle-x0x who wondered like what IF Drake secretly knew how to waltz but didn’t wanna teach MC coz he was in love with her and THAT DID IT
IT WAS LIKE I WAS POSSESSED I COULD SEE THE WHOLE SCENE PLAYING OUT IN MY HEAD PERFECTLY AND I NEEDED NEEDED TO GET THIS ONTO PAPER. It was a blur writing that first piece and a race against time before the insporation ran out, I hadn’t had a strike of creativity like this since my Hobbit fanfic days and I was determined to see this through. 
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After I was done, it was 2am and I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing so I unknowingly posted it up on tumblr under the name Waltz Time and peaced tf out and passed tf out only to wake up to almost a hundred notes overnight like 
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People actually LIKE my ramblings..? They are saying nice things about my brain fart.. what..? I don’t know how to process these emotions and now I have MORE emotions???? 
Then I reblogged a couple of things, made a playlist that I’m sure nobody cared about, started a mini series that I didn’t intend to get so long. But the more content I saw the more I needed, it was like a new drug, a new obsession like no other and when I saw people like @choicessa and @boneandfur writing such amazing fics I was just like WOW I wanna try to do that too
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And on 2nd Feb, I posted No Turning Back and finally converted this to a choices blog and the rest is history. 
Along the way I’ve made so many wonderful friends including @chantelle-x0x who reached out to me first and was my first offical internet friend, @meeraaverywalker @walkerismychoice @tmarie82 @boneandfur @littleblossom-18 @srawesleyghuewrites @heartoffire-ice @simplyaiden-blog @likethetailofacomet @sleepwalkingelite @bobasheebaby @topsyturvy-dream (whom I got to meet in person this year!) @abbiebishops @mfackenthal @debramcg1106 @theroyalweisme @writtenbycandy @blackcatkita @angstymarshmallow @enmchoices @client-327 @lizeboredom @trr-fangirl @callmetippytumbles @speedyoperarascalparty @zaffrenotes and I’m sure I’m missing so many of you. 
I was humbled and stoked to learn that I had a fangirl when @quartzandarrow sent me a message about my The Revelation Series (which I still intend to finish... eventually) and that I had a mysterious stalker in @ooo-barff-ooo who had been silently following me since the early days when Waltz Time was all that was on my masterlist and TRUly knows my blog better than I do. 
Especially my Team Thirsty gals @quartzandarrow @drakewalkerwhipped @choicessa whom I consider internet sisters and talk to every day - I don’t know what I’d do without them. 
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I’ve learned so much and grown so much as a writer and I just want to thank you all for supporting me and being my friend despite how inconsistent I am. I’ve got lots of things planned for the next year so hopefully you’ll consider checking them out ahah
If you’ve made it to the end,  I’ve wasted enough time but just
THANK YOU
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love elle x
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