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freshbakedbreadstick · 9 months

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No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Three

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Herimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: The promise of taking your return “one step at a time” seems appealing until you realize that it comes with being vulnerable. And being vulnerable makes you run.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of death, toxic relationships, grief, angst, strained relationships, minor injuries, arguments/yelling matches, details of anxiety/panic attacks, bad coping mechanisms, mental health issues.

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: Hi besties ! ! ! Im so sorry this took so so so long for me to update, unfortunately life had other plans for me lol ironic how i'm writing about anxiety attacks while i myself was dealing with having one basically everyday . Don’t worry about me though , worry more about the heavy angst your gonna read lolllll anyways this one was fr a doozy to write and edit so take breaks when you need it but i promise things will get better in the next chappy ! ! Also, i made it extra long to compensate for my late post lolllll I still hope you all enjoy ! <3

Taglist: @marysucks-blog @shinebright2000 (your both sweeties ! ! ty for being on my taglist, extra love 4 u n for everyone who gets on the taglist <3)

Chapter One / Chapter Two / Masterlist

The sky outside your window was a deep shade of blue with black bleeding into its edges. Not a peep of the morning sun had made it into the sky, keeping it a lighter shade of the usual night sky.

Your hands gripped the edges of the sink as you looked into the mirror, the cold ceramic making goosebumps appear on your skin making you shiver in your pajamas. Your eyes traced your mirrored face, moving from the creases on your skin to the deep, dark bags underneath your eyes.

You got no sleep last night as you were on the cusp of making a decision you weren’t exactly sure was a good one, but was a decision you wanted to make regardless: you were returning to The Beef and taking it one day at a time, just like how Richie said.

You didn't even know why you were returning anymore, you just sort of felt a calling when you stepped foot in the kitchen you vowed to never return to.

Your shoulder twitched as you thought about the kitchen of The Beef. You could feel the ghost of Carmy's hand searing into the spot on your shoulder where he rested his hand for a brief second as he passed behind you.

With a shaky breath, you looked down and turned the sink on to splash some lukewarm water on your face. It was time to get ready.

After quietly moving about mindlessly in your room, you were ready. From one of the many boxes shoved in the back of your closet labeled "The Beef", you pulled out ivory wide leg linen pants, covered in colorful pigments, a cropped sleeveless black top, and an oversized sweatshirt that had a graphic of The Beef on the back. You sighed, looking at your old 'chef' clothes.

Suddenly, you were pulled into a memory.

You walked into The Beef, grinning widely as you made eye contact with Richie who was behind the counter. There, he was preoccupied with counting cash from the register but instantly perked up upon seeing you walk through the front door.

You were wearing your ivory linen pants and cropped top as well as the oversized sweatshirt. It was a staple outfit you often wore when helping out at The Beef.

Richie clapped his hands as you held up and lightly shook the white paper bag in your hand.

"Hallelujah, my prayers have finally been answered!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands into a prayer formation.

You snickered and placed the bag on the counter before gently opening it up. Richie then shoved his hand in the bag, making you laugh and scold him.

As you two playfully bickered, a hulking frame walked over from the kitchen and over to the entryway that led to the front of the restaurant.

"What'd ya get me, baby?"

You turned to the doorway of the kitchen where Mikey leaned against the frame, his toned body taking up the entire space. One hand rested on his hip while the other stretched up, gripping the top of the door frame.

Noticing that you were busy ogling at your boyfriend, Richie took the opportunity to quickly grab his dessert from the bag and start eating it feverishly.

You beamed at him, cheeks rosy, "I got us all our favorite cream puffs from the bakery down the street. The last ones too!!"

Richie took another bite of his cream puff and groaned, mouth covered in sugar and muffled as we went on and on about how this was exactly what he needed after a long day. Meanwhile, Mikey let go of the frame and slowly made his way to you, eyes locked with yours.

As he approached you, his gaze never left your own, making you flush. Fuck, his eyes were always so intense.

You held up his own cream puff, making him lick his lips as he stopped in front of you.

The world seemingly disappeared around you as he murmured quietly, only loud enough for you to hear, "Feed it to me, baby?"

The front door slammed behind you, making you jump and grimace.

"Shit…" you whispered to yourself, not meaning to make so much noise as to avoid waking up your parents.

After locking it much more quietly, you grabbed your tote bag full of supplies and rushed down the steps to your car. The sky was still dark, but was lighter than before making you anxious about getting to The Beef on time.

The streets were dead and silent as you passed the green lights. Occasionally, another car would pass by, making your heart race as you feared you would accidentally have your plans exposed early. After all, nobody knew you ended up making this decision to fully return.

After parking a little down the street to keep your car hidden, you sat in your car, mind replaying the memory of Mikey. You can see the pink flush on his tan skin, making him look so... alive. You can see the way his chest rises as he breathes in, pink lips parting as he breathes out. His hair was well kept despite a long day at The Beef. Before you, he looked well.

He looked alive.

But he was dead.

Your grip on the steering wheel weakened as your arms felt numb. Your hands had even begun to get sweaty, slipping down the steering wheel.

Your Mikey was dead.

It has been over half a year now that Mikey died.

As you continued to sit there, the windows started getting foggy and the interior got stuffier and stuffier, making you feel like you were suffocating.

It's been over half a year since Mikey had died.

Your right hand had begun to slide its way from where they fell onto your lap and to your tote bag, shaking. Your breathing got faster and faster, your heart racing right until…

Your fingertips hit cold metal.

Your heaving chest froze, your shaking hands froze, it even felt like your rapid heartbeat froze.

Slowly, your fingers curled around the keys and pulled them out. They jangled as you pulled them up to view.

The keychains, all unique and worn down from years of being stuffed into pockets, bags, etc, glistened under the streetlamp. The small square keychain that contained a photo of you and Mikey, squished together but grinning during a trip to Coney Island years ago, seemed to glare at you as it turned in the air to face you.

You threw the car door open and shoved yourself out and onto the street, stumbling as you tried not to fall onto the cold asphalt. Hot tears streamed down cheeks, feeling out of place and unexpected despite your emotions in that moment. You hiccupped to yourself, trying your best to bite down on the sleeves of the sweatshirt to muffle your crying.

“I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,” you repeat to yourself, trying desperately to stop the tears from continuing.

You dragged your bag from out of the car, yanking it, body flailing forward as the heaviness of what was inside set in. You hurriedly locked your car and crossed the street, steps heavy as you rushed towards the back door of The Beef.

With a pause, you quickly wiped your face with your limp hands and took a shaky breath. The metal back door was slightly rusted around the metal edges, making it look old in a way that made you shiver as you thought of the night you came here and saw it for the first time in months. With your eyes squeezed shut, you twisted the knob of the door, hoping to find it locked.

Lucky for you, it still was.

You let go of the breath you didn’t realize you were holding in and brought your keys up to unlock it. By now, the sky had barely started to get specks of yellow and orange; you knew that any moment now Carmy would probably arrive. After all, you reminded yourself, he would be the kind to aim to arrive before anyone else and start prepping for that day’s meal service.

You quickly shoved the keys into the lock and it clicked open. After accidentally dropping the keys as if it was hot metal, you got back up and swung the door open, pushing forward over the threshold to turn on the lights.

You blinked as the lights slowly illuminated the steel appliances of the kitchen and the white walls. It was completely silent, aside from the subtle buzzing of the fluorescent lights above you. It was oddly calming too, standing there in a place of chaos where there wasn’t any. It made the knot that had formed in the pit of your stomach slowly unwind. You were terrified that being in here, alone, would cause you to scream, cry, throw things, or just do something, but you were relieved to feel that you just… you felt… fine.

Your feet shuffled across the kitchen and to the lockers. Instinctually, you went and stood in front of the locker you used to use and reached up to open it before pausing.

With a quick step back, you hummed to yourself. You haven’t been there in so long and because Carmy has since taken over, there is a good chance that the locker you left abandoned was repurposed for someone else, but something inside you pushed you to unlock it anyway.

The locker clicked and creaked as you opened it, your eyes widening to find it empty. You eyed each corner before looking down to see a clean and neatly folded apron resting there. The sharpie writing underneath the logo of The Beef was smudged after years of washes and rewrites, but you could still make out your name in Mikey’s writing.

You reached forward, the canvas fabric of the apron feeling soft under your fingertips as you gently traced the curves and corners of your name.

Your throat tightened, making you pull your hand back fast, as if burned by the touch of the fabric.

Exhausted at your own reactions, you rolled your eyes, “Fuck, this is so stupid.”

You grabbed the apron and shoved your tote bag inside. After changing your shoes to some non-slip ones more appropriate for working in the kitchen, you threw the apron on.

The clean scent of fresh laundry invaded your nostrils, making you sniff as you realized that this was very recently laundered. Your eyes closed and your shoulders sagged, it must have been Sugar that found this somewhere in the mess of the office and cleaned it for you.

You wiped down the front counters and restocked the cups, knowing exactly where it was that all these things were kept in the kitchen. You couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself as you noticed the paper sign you laminated and stuck to the wall where the cups, utensils, and plates were kept was still there after years. The paper itself was wrinkled and the writing was blown out, having suffered a water related accident courtesy of Richie before you decided to laminate it and stick it back on. Your writing said ‘Please place all disposables here! Thank you (:’ and underneath it was Richie’s messy, blown out writing saying ‘Don’t tell me what to do!’.

By the time you had finished doing the small tasks you used to do in the front, the backdoor swung open with a loud, "Hello?"

You stood up and whipped your head to the doorway of the kitchen. Carmy's voice echoed out again.

"Richie? Are you here?"

You quickly ran around the counter and to the doorway, pausing awkwardly once in view of Carmy, "Uh, hey. It's actually me."

Carmy's eyes widened briefly, surprised to see you, "Oh… hi."

You shifted your weight from one foot to another.

His blue eyes looked at you up and down, "You uh, found the… the apron, huh?"

You looked down at your apron and nodded to yourself, "Yea yea I found it in my… in a locker."

Carmy nodded and moved forward, moving to set his things to his own locker and prepare himself to work, "Richie was the one who, uhm, told me where your locker was and I found your apron in the office so… I cleaned it up for you."

His voice got smaller and smaller at the very end of his sentence, making your chest tighten at the mention of where your apron was found.

You fiddled with your fingers, "Oh you did?"

Carmy hummed in affirmation, gesturing you to follow him as he moved around the kitchen. He led you to the fridge, showing you to some of the empty labeled bins.

"Help me with restocking these?"

Everyone else came in that morning, surprised to see you but trying their best to cover up their curious stares and questioning glances to one another. But you, once again, found yourself standing in the kitchen with a knife and cutting board, chopping the vegetables needed for the day. It wasn’t a menial task, prep was extremely important, but the lack of movement made you feel a bit useless.

After all, you once helped run this damn place.

But you continued, not saying a word to keep the flow going. The key word was that you ‘once’ helped run the place and you didn’t anymore.

When Richie came in, he yelled out upon seeing you, "Cousin!!"

You put your knife down turned around just in time for him to hobble towards you and wrap his arms around you.

"Cousin, what are you doing here?" He said, excited.

You chuckled softly, "I'm here to help but I'm taking it one step at a time."

He smiled at your words, reminded of your conversation from yesterday. Then, he stepped back, put his hands on your forearms to get a good look at you, and, in a low voice, said, "Are you okay here?"

Your shoulders sagged as you sighed, "Yea yea, I'm fine… but are you?"

Richie chuckled and nodded his head, “Ah some stupid little stab isn’t gonna kill me. You would need a boa constructor or something like that to do the job… or whatever the hell Eva mentioned she saw on her field trip to the zoo…”

He muttered the last part under his breath, making you smile and giggle to yourself, forgetting all your worries for a split second, before Sugar’s voice brought you back.

“Oh my gosh you’re here?!”

At the tone of her voice, you jerked back and away from Richie’s grip. Your smile dropped before you quickly plastered it on again, nodding in her direction. But this action wasn’t kept unnoticed, like how you hoped; Richie’s own smile slowly fell into a frown, eyebrows creasing as he looked across your face, trying to read what was going on and why you stopped smiling when you saw Sugar.

Sugar raced over, smiling but eyes looking concerned, as she wrapped her cardigan around her body, “Hi sweetie! How are you? It’s been a while and I was going to reach out to you.”

Her normally comforting and kind demeanor made your eyes narrow. The way she spoke to you… it felt… not good.

But you shook this feeling away, unsure why exactly you were feeling this way over Natalie, one of your previously closest friends. She cared about you, always checked in with you, and for pete’s sake she was your dead boyfriend’s sister! You were as thick as thieves at one point in life.

“At one point in life…” you mumbled to yourself.

“What’s that?” Natalie asked, reaching out to gently place a hand on your forearm in concern.

You jumped slightly, having been lost in thought for a second, “I’m fine, sorry, just lost in thought.”

You looked around the kitchen and felt yourself shrink as you realized that everyone there was stealing glances in your direction, eyes quickly turning away when you glanced at them.

“Can i just…” you began, feeling yourself grow more and more agitated.

Natalie nodded, trying to encourage you to say whatever it was that you wanted to say. Richie continued to scan you, head tilting to one side as he tried to piece together what was going on.

All of a sudden, the clanking of pans and the warmth of the flames being turned on started to get louder and hotter. It was like they were right up against your ear, despite being over 5 feet away. Your breath began to irregulate, some deep and heavy and others shallow and fast.

Noticing this, Natalie’s eyes widened, “Oh no, hey uhm, how about we go outside real quick?”

Richie quickly grabbed your shoulders and gently steered you forward and through the kitchen, to the backdoor.

Carmy, who was in the front at the time of you three talking, came out when he saw you all rushing to the backdoor, “What’s going on?”

“She’s having a panic attack, we are going to get some air!” Natalie said, loud enough for it to echo across the kitchen and over to where Carmy was standing, in order for him to hear over the noise of the prepping.

This seemed to get you out of your stupor.

You didn’t realize that you were frozen and being led out of the kitchen until in that moment when Natalie seemingly announced to everyone there that you were having a panic attack. In the restaurant that you used to help run. Like it was nothing.

You could feel eyes hitting your back. Although you couldn’t hear it, you just knew that there were whispers either happening or going to happen the second you walked out the door.

And that made you lose it.

Whispers that ‘oh, that’s his girlfriend’ and ‘she doesn’t seem to be taking his death well despite trying to move on with someone else’ and even ‘i heard she ran away from his funeral’. Whispers labeling you as so many awful things that you knew you weren’t, but they would never understand why you did it; why you left. No one would understand. No one right now understands.

That made you lose it.

You jerked your shoulders to shake off Richie and Sugar’s hands before pushing forward. You shoved the door, making it swing all the way open with a bang and stomped out.

Natalie and Richie raced after you, alarmed at your sudden aggression.

You crossed your arms, a grimace on your face, as you turned to look at them as they stood in front of you.

“What’s going on??” Natalie asked, voice quivering with worry. Her arms winded around her body, hands clammy.

“Cousin, what was that?”

It made you sick the way Richie’s hardened eyes pleaded for you to tell him what was wrong. But it was Sugar’s careful tone that just made it worse.

You grit your teeth, rolling your eyes which took Natalie aback.

“Are you… upset?” she said.

You scoffed and threw your arms down to your side, “Are you serious? Actually serious, Natalie?”

Natalie jerked back, making Richie shake his head and speak up, in a calm but agitated tone, “Cousin, what are you going on about-”

But before he could finish, you interrupted him and yelled, “Oh my gosh just… stop!!!”

Your voice echoed in the quiet morning street. The sky was light blue and the sun was still orange as it slowly made its way up the sky. The birds chirped in a harmonious tune that practically said ‘today is a lovely day!’ to those who made their way around town that morning for whatever they had on their to do list.

But here you were, outside of The Beef again, and this time angry.

“I’m fine!! I don’t know how many times I have to tell you and remind you but I. Am. Fine!”

The two reeled back for a second, hurt written all over their faces as you yelled at them.

Richie then straightened up and crossed his arms, his own voice getting louder by the minute “What the hell is wrong with you? Natalie is just trying to help.”

“Oh yea, ‘help’! By treating me like a fragile piece of glass that will break at any second, you're ‘helping me’, right?” with your hands, you quoted each word for help, voice getting louder and louder to combat Richie’s own booming voice.

“Sweetie, I didn't mean to treat you like that…” Natalie whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

You groan and turn away, “You talk to me like I'm a child and I'm sick of it!”

“What’s going on?” Carmy said, interrupting you as he walked out the backdoor to join you three, “I can hear you yelling from inside.”

But you ignored him and continued, “Why are you avoiding talking about what happened as if saying the word or his name is going to make me explode? Why?!”

Carmy blinked, “What do you mean why?”

“Stop pretending like everything is fine and normal and that you have to watch me around knives and give me baby tasks to keep me busy as if being around The Beef is going to kill me!” you growled, tears of frustration starting to run down your cheeks.

Stupid tears. Such traitors.

Carmy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Nobody is treating you like a child and I'm not giving you ‘baby tasks’, you know this.”

“Really Carmy? You're one to talk, seeing as you don’t even want to acknowledge or talk to me!”

Carmy cleared his throat, voice low in an effort to control his own growing anger, “I’m not the one who is avoiding you or anything, okay? None of us are.”

Sugar covered her mouth and turned away from you, trying not to let the tears stream down her cheeks. Carmy turned, just in time to see her watery eyes. His jaw clenched as you seethed in front of him.

“Listen, we all know you're grieving, okay? It fucking sucks that your boyfriend is dead but guess fucking what, my brother is dead and so is Sugar’s brother. Richie’s best friend is dead and everyone in here’s boss and friend is dead too. Your not the only one who is dealing with this so stop fucking acting like everyone here is out to get you for dealing with Mikey’s death!” Carmy blurted out, neck veins bulging as he leaned forward with every sentence.

Sugar gasped and whipped around, “Carmy!”

“What? It’s fucking true! Everything has gone to shit, yea, but that doesn’t mean you're dealing with it alone! Mikey left a shit ton of people like you, me, and everyone else to pick up the pieces of his fuck ups, so stop acting like a baby and get to work, break is over.”

With that, Carmy turns around and goes back into The Beef, leaving you staring angrily at the ground with tears running down your cheeks and your fists clenched at your side. Richie softened at seeing you cry, but did nothing to prevent Carmy from going on his rant.

Natalie sniffled quietly, wiping away at her tears as a few rolled down and hit the pavement underneath her. She then turned to you and smiled a watery smile, giving you one last glance of reassurance before turning to go back inside.

As the door closed behind her, you broke into a sob, your once stiff body crumbling to the floor with a crouch. Your body shook, throwing all the adrenaline you had into each sob that wracked your body.

With blurry vision, you didn’t see the way Richie sighed before he moved forward, arms wrapping around you with a clenched jaw. His own eyes were beginning to rim with tears as he held you, listening to your cries in agony get muffled into your hands and his chest.

Once your sobs turned into small cries and staggering breaths, Richie helped you get up and lean against the wall. He gently wiped your tears, fingers running the same path that he used to do when he found you upset after a particularly difficult argument with Mikey.

Then, he left you there.

He kissed your temple and turned to go back inside, leaving you alone outside with the chirping birds and the warm sun to contemplate what happened.

“I really fucked up…” you whispered to yourself, sniffling.

And like the way you left from Mikey’s funeral and your exes out west when things got hard, you ran. You took your things silently and without saying a word to anyone about what you were doing and where you were going, you ran.

#the bear #carmen berzatto #reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto imagine #carmy the bear #michael berzatto x reader #mikey berzatto #mikey berzatto imagine #mikey the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #richie jerimovich x reader #richie berzatto imagine #richie the bear #richie jerimovich #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto

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stainedstardom · 1 year

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Can you do a Ethan Landry x reader fic that would be about the reader and Ethan being Academic enemies but later on they start getting along and one day the reader is crying because she got picked on and Ethan saw this and worried and he starts comforting her the reader admits how much she hates nearly everyone in this school besides Ethan so Ethan and the reader are in love but because of Ethan’s dads and sisters delusions about defending Richie he brings up the idea of how the reader and he can just run away from everything because of the ghostface killings happening again

i love this one so much, bf ethan at its finest

WE CAN LEAVE

ethan landry x fem!reader

he was smart, too smart. he got all of his work done and he was proud of himself for it. ranted about it, showed it off but you did the same thing. over time, something changed and you began to fight for top spot.

there was nothing wrong with that, it was nice to have someone like that, someone who knew what you thought and what you felt.

"you know you are smart" he said to you one day and it felt like an insult but it wasn't.

"thanks ethan, you are too" you stated and he smiled. from there on, you were friends , that's not what you wanted. you wanted more, you wanted to hold his hand and play with his hair and call him yours but he didn't show any of the same signs and that was okay. he didn't need to, it was nice to just be friends if you were honest.

but being smart wasnt always a good thing.

"do you fuck the teacher to get good grades?" a boy asked you one day and you froze.

"Im sorry?" you said , not knowing what else to say.

"i mean theres no way you can be that smart, you have to be fucking a teacher but I mean , you arent that pretty what teacher would fuck you?" he laughed and walked away. you felt like someone had stabbed you, you had been bullied your whole life and you felt good here but now you didn't.

did everyone think that? did they all think you fucked the teachers? did they all think that you're a whore?

you could feel the tears rushing down your face and you didn't like it. you couldn't cry in public, there was no way you could do that. no possible way. you got up, grabbed your stuff and ran out of the room hoping to get to your dorm and cry it out.

"y/n?" you heard and you kept your head down but that didn't help. someone grabbed your arm and you lifted your head to see ethan. he stared at the tear stains on your face , he lifted his hand and wiped one side of the tears

"hey, whats wrong? what happened?" he asked and you shrugged but that wasn't good enough for him.

"come on, we can talk in my dorm" he said and he grabbed your hand as he led you to his dorm. he let you in and locked the door, walking to his bed you sat down and he sat down with you.

"okay what happened?" he asked as you let out a breathe. you laid your head on his shoulder and he took a deep breathe, he had never been this close to you, let alone this close to a girl and he liked it. he liked you but he couldn't say that right now. he had to let you cry.

"someone asked me if im fucking a teacher because there's no way I'm that smart , they then said that no one would fuck me so apparently I'm ugly and not smart. what the fuck does that have to do with anything? does everyone think I'm a whore?" you asked and he shook his head

"no, i dont think that youre a whore" he said and you smiled at him sadly.

"you might be the only person, youre like the only person I actually like at this stupid fucking school. i hate these people, I hate it here. they all think they're better then everyone else and they all want to be on the top, people cant just be nice to each other. its so fucking tiring" you ranted to him and he smiled.

"i think youre the only person i like at this school too like actually like" he said and he realized

"you like me?" you asked and he smiled at you.

"i like you alot" he said and you looked into his eyes as he looked into yours. you felt the air leave your lungs, you leaned in slowly and he did the same thing. you took one look into his eyes before leaning in and kissing him. your hand held the side of his face as his grabbed your waist. the kiss was slow and passionate, it almost held too many emotions.

"we can leave, we can run away and leave this all behind" he said when you pulled away and pressed your forehead to his

"you would do that?" you asked and he nodded.

"i would do anything for you. youre the only person I care about, the only person I trust and the only person I like. we can get away from this place" he stated and you nodded.

"lets do it, id go anywhere with you" you told him and he smiled

"id go anywhere with you too. so we're doing this? we're running away?" he asked and you nodded.

"yeah i guess we are" you exclaimed and he leaned in and kissed you. you smiled into the kiss and he did the same thing.

you didnt know where you were going to go but you had him and that would be enough for you.

a/n: anyways i love ethan and hes so sweet.

#ethan landry x you #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry #scream #scream fanfic #scream 6 #jack champion #jack champion x reader

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greenpidge101 · 7 months

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hc that richies teeth r a mess and went totally hates it cause it makes him look bad and richie gets braces and hates them but he gets the brightest color they had available cause he loves bright colors

also his style of comedy is so so rachel sennott ( look her up if u dont know who she is please shes hilarious ) which is why i feel like he gets into acting in like absurd comedies and it kinda sticks and eventually falls into actually acting

bill loves drawing the other losers when they r not paying attention and little sketches and doodles cover his school work ( the others think its so endearing )

on days when his stutter is really bad bill goes nonverbal but the losers include him easily cause he is honestly kinda an open book with his intentions and emotions so they always know what he wants

eddie hates walking long distances and is always asking for piggyback rides ( adding to the eddie should hate nyc but when anyone brings it up he gaslights them cause he has always wanted to live there agenda )

however eddie loves running and is always racing people because he knows he will win even though hes short ( richie hates it cause his legs are too long and he is really awkward and oddly slow when he tries to run. if he actually gets fast he almost always trips cause he is so clumsy and then eddie is way in front of him )

bev gives richie and bill amateur piercings full parent trap style and at least one of them gets infected. when they r older she convinces ben to let her pierce his ears. eddie hates it and is always like “i am not helping when it gets infected” but does anyway

she also makes friendship bracelets and the losers freak when they find out and they all are always wearing at least two

in some an au stan becomes an ornithologist but like just in an au where the losers dont split up during the time jump they buy him a bird like as soon as they move out of derry and it is stans favorite thing ever

stan is really good at hiding his emotions but he always stims when he is overwhelmed or upset and it is a clear giveaway. he has been doing it since he was really little and now cant stop

mike loves animals and shows off all the farm animals to the other losers and also def has a dog that eddie loves but pretends not to even though the dog also loves him

mike is also the loser who everyone goes to for advice for literally anything and has the ability to make anyone feel better like instantly the others have no idea how he does it

ben loves the act of designing buildings but was never that good at math so college was a little rough. also his interest in archeology started after he read percy jackson in middle school cuz annabeth loved archeology

he also slips into a country accent whenever he gets really comfortable and the losers think its amazing ( richies country accent is just him trying and failing to copy ben )

richie and ben light up the room when they are truly happy. richie because his happiness is loud and unavoidable and ben because his radiates off him in waves and spreads to those around him

sorry thats a lot im done i just kept going

PLEASE KEEP GOING, THESE ARE SO GOOD OMG!!!!!!

♾️/10

#Ben is a slight southern accent is everything #ahh these make me so happy #Bev giving bill and Richie piercings is everything #Stan being an ornithologist is something I hc too #the losers club #it stephen king #richie tozier #stanley uris #eddie kaspbrak #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #thanks for the ask!!!

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getyourpoisonedcupofcoffee · 3 months

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do flipschitz romantically *going to movies then getting stuck by a sudden rain*

u dont have to do it if its to vague or hard to start with

have a nice dayy

Sure thing!! I'll try my best! Thank you so much for the request! <3 And have a nice day to you as well! Okay here we go rahhh (there's more underneath the break)

They walked out into the lobby, Ruth in a fit of laughing. "What do you mean the movie just ends like that??" Ruth giggled, trying to keep it together.

"Well, it's a part of a series, Ruth! There are many movies before, and likely after! It's a whole universe, and- and there's loads of lore behind it!" Richie smiled. He enjoyed seeing her like this - Out of the teenage angst they experienced in their everyday life. They rarely did things like this together.

They went to go through the lobby door but were stopped by someone behind the counter. "Are you sure you guys don't wanna stay in here 'till the rain stops?"

And sure enough, it was pouring down outside, so they sat down on a nearby bench.

Ruth leaned slightly up against him, reaching for his hand. He held her hand and smiled softly down at her before looking out at the people passing by.

"...Do you ever wish we could go unbothered by Max?" She asked, subconsciously intertwining their fingers.

"Well, yeah, most of the time. Pretty much all the time. He's a literal monster."

They both went quiet for a bit.

"..what are we?"

"...people?"

"No-! Well, yes- but, what are we?"

"...Considering that we've literally been dating for 3 months, I'd say that we're together. What, did you forget?"

"..Yeah- It all went pretty fast." she chuckled.

He smiled softly and gently planted a kiss on top of her head. As time went by, they shared stories to make time pass. Stories about pretty much anything that came to their minds, really.

Soon, the rain started to dial back and they decided that it would be a good idea to head home now.

They stood infront of one another, facing eachother. "..I guess i'll see you on Monday, then?" Richie asked. "Yeah. Unless I decide to pop by for shits n giggles." She chuckled softly.

"Yeah," He said with a smile.

They kissed before saying their goodbyes and parting ways.

OKAY THATS IT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS IN SCHOOL ALL DAY AND I FINISHED THIS IN MY BAND ROOM WHERE I ENDED UP GETTING MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK

#request #reqs open #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid npmd #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #otp #otp prompt #THEY MY BELOVED #flipschitz #fuckin' nerds #writing #creative writing

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starpirateee · 5 months

Text

Richie's movie

@lautski-week day 3 - movie

Warnings: none / read on AO3 here

Richie's movie came out on Sunday. Pete didn't know what it was actually called, but he knew that Richie was really excited about it. Originally, Pete thought it was his attempt to finally step away from the anime scene, but when he asked about it, Richie had launched into a small ramble about the source material, which just so happened to be one of his favourite light novels.

Pete hadn't been all that interested in watching it originally. But Richie wasn't actually here anymore to watch it for himself.

Maybe he owed it to him to try.

But, there was no way he was going alone.

It was late at night on a Friday when he decided that he owed it to Richie to watch this movie, and the thought had consumed him. He couldn't sleep.

Briefly, he thought about texting Ruth. She would like something like that, wouldn't she?

But he couldn't even do that, could he?

Really, there was only one option, wasn't there?

Pete:

Hey, I cant sleep. You still awake?

He stared at the empty text box for what felt like ages, and then finally, he got a reply:

Steph:

im still up sure, something wrong?

Pete:

Not really. Just thinking

Steph:

thats not good at 1am

whats wrong?

Pete:

That movie that Richie wanted to see came out

Pete:

And I kinda want to watch it in his honour, y'know?

It sounded stupid, didn't it? He wasn't even interested in the movie itself, he just wanted to feel less alone in this crazy world. He turned over, throwing the sheets over his head.

Pete:

Sorry. I know how stupid that sounds

Steph:

not at all! you wanna go to the movies for richie?

Pete:

I guess... You wanna come with?

Steph:

sure, sounds fun :)

Steph:

is tomorrow good? i can probably see you there if youve got a time

Pete:

Tomorrow's fine

I can get there maybe after lunch? 2 ish?

Steph:

see you there, pete <3

Even after confirming the date with Steph, and feeling a little more at ease with himself, sleep still didn't come easy to him. He spent ages scribbling in his phone's notes, random ideas that my or may not turn into something some day...

Eventually, the tiredness he felt caught up to him, and he drifted off, thinking about Richie and hoping that there was another side where he was having the time of his life. After everything, that was the least he deserved.

The next day, the tired sensation was promptly replaced with a deep pit of nervousness, and he couldn't source where it had come from. More likely than not, it was down to the constant stream of thoughts that had all surrounded Richie. This was his day, really, and Pete knew he was going to think of that no matter what else happened.

Steph had been kind enough to offer to keep him company for the day, but by the time she'd agreed to that, it was close to 1:30 in the morning. Was she still going to show face? Would she even remember?

He had a text. He'd been so caught up in his own rampant thoughts that he hadn't even realised.

Steph:

still up for today?

Once he'd read it and really got into his head that yes, she did want to come, his heart fluttered with relief.

Pete:

Yeah, I'm still gonna be there

Steph:

okay

dont worry about it, its gonna be okay

Pete:

Thanks, Steph :)

Pete sighed. She said it was going to be okay, but was it? Was it really? The two of them had collectively lost more in the last few weeks more than anyone could comprehend in a few years. With the weight of the world quite literally on their shoulders, who was really left but each other?

That didn't do an awful lot to lessen his nerves, but it did make counting down the remaining hours a bit easier. Slow as it was, that time did pass, and he set on his headphones to start the walk down. He knew he'd invested in such large ones for a reason... At least that way he could look like he was trying to block out the world.

Steph was already there when he arrived, and waved him over. He braced himself for something he didn't even know, and noticed how much less tense he felt, just by seeing her there.

"Hey, Steph..." He removed his headphones with one hand and managed the most sincere smile he could.

She took his free hand and returned the favour by shooting him a smile that seemed totally reassuring. "How are you?"

"Honestly, I kinda feel sick. No idea why, I've just been dreading the hell out of this since I gave myself the idea.." He knew why he felt like shit, if he was really honest. It was his own fault. A constant stream of thoughts that he thought he could solve by airing out his panic in the shower? That was ridiculous, and he knew it.

Her brow creased. "Why?"

"I don't know! I mean, it's got nothing to do with you, you're great! I love-" he hesitated so subtly that Steph almost didn't notice. "Hanging out with you... I just- I guess it's cos this was supposed to be Richie's movie..."

"Hey, I get it. We don't have to do this if you don't want to..."

"This is for him. I wanna do this... For him."

Steph nodded. "Alright. Which one is it?"

The two of them looked up at the board, and Pete tried to figure out which was the right movie. There were a lot of titles he recognised, and then...

"That one. I remember the name of the book Richie told me about."

"Absolutely no offense to the guy, but that looks like it's gonna be cheesy as shit."

Pete couldn't help but laugh at that. She was right, in all fairness, it did look like it was going to be quite the movie.

#lautski week #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #starkid #void offering #i am just incapable of lighthearted things arent i #oh well :)

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silvr-skreen · 7 months

Note

Any random HCs for MFN (OC or canon) you want to share but haven't had the chance to?

OH BOY DO I? This is going to be incredibly long

Headcanons:

none of the puppets can swear if a child is around. Like physically can't. it's a failsafe Al added JUST IN CASE. they can if everyone is an adult however, but usually dont.... usually.

i am a gordon transman truther and i am going to die protecting my truth. grumpy old man deserves the world

also a ray HOH truther. i dont think his hearing was ever the same after the sewers and all that heavy machinery.

In relation to the last headcanon, he only got hearing aids after failing to hear the fire alarm during a drill... gordon found him inside and confused as to where everyone was. ray got his hearing aids the literal next day.

i like to think al was initially intending a lot more with the show, but got kind of trapped in the "doing what's always been done" and cutesy kid stuff. Especially since i can see the CNBG blocking him

they turned down a lot, and Al had never been bold enough to try and push back, beause he was afraid of losing hat he'd worked for.

RICHIE TIME. Richie is indian/mexican. he first tried to get into other shows or movies after leaving MFN but ironically... hated how grim they all were. there wasn't even an ounce of goodness unless it was to be used as a misdirection.

One of the things the CNBG pushed back on was the puppets (or at least some of them) having different races/ethnicities/nationalities etc. because Al wanted it to feel like a real neighborhood.

Pearl is Singaporean, Norman is hispanic on his mother's side, Ricky is african american, and Ray is scottish/irish, Gobblette is from Appalachia. The other puppets are still kind of a WIP on my end deciding

All puppets can clone themselves, they just need enough material. Larger puppets require more material in general, and so clone less.

The dogs are mostly clones. Started w/ just Mahoney and then they cloned themself twice into the other 2.

Puppets like Pearl, Ray and Gobblette who are large and fully dexterous (have you seen pearl leap?) have inner metal frames, theyre not particularly hard or poke-y, but they help hold the puppets structure like bones.

Gordon is physically disabled in some capacity, personally i've got a few headcanons on that, such as the asthma and a bad knee (as well as some others that are a bit in the realm of spoilers for my fic sorry lol)

He also has multiple medals. (three to be specific, but i cant tell you what 2 are yet.

Gordon to me is the biromantic ace guy who just never understood the appeal but shrugged it off like "im sure everyone dreads that part of a romance and just does it because its something you do."

Shirley coming back (hell even just being alive) was a shock to every puppet who doesn't go to the basement. they didnt know that one of her made it to the basement and stayed hidden with ray. Pearl stared at her for like a solid 2 minutes while trying to figure out if she was real.

ow this was exactly as long as i was expecting. i probably have many more i cannae remember em tho.

#my friendly neighborhood #mfn game #mfn

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wafflesinthesky · 9 months

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did i cry from the bear fx season 2 episode 7 Forks (richie's episode)? maybe.

"2-seconds-post-watching" analysis under the cut

just the way that Richie finally felt loved and wanted working in the restaurant, like we've seen since the beginning of the season that he feels like he's at a stage of his life where everything and anything is too late for him, the people he loves are dead (mikey) or getting engaged to other people (tiff (ALSO SORRY THE GILLIAN CAMEO? I GASPED) and even tho he loves carmy he can tell he's getting on his nerves so right now the only person he has who needs him is eva and even she's gonna have a new father now so he starts off at this kind of rock bottom of "i have no one and no one wants/needs/cares for me" and at first this is cemented by the fact that he's 45 shining forks and no one knows his name or cares and theres this tug of war between the potential he feels he has and the way that people see him

BUT THEN the episode goes on and we see how much of a people person he is and the childlike giddiness he feels getting to serve customers and make their day because he feels like he matters, he feels like he's making a difference, he's affecting them all for the better, he has a PURPOSE

AND THEN we see him jamming to taylor swift by himself - he doesn't even need eva - because he's beginning to find himself again and see his own value as an individual, not just as a father or as an ex or as a "cousin" or even as a fork-shiner but as a person interacting with people whether directly or indirectly but making people's days better (this is not my best explanation but my brain is working a mile a minute so bear with me here)

AND FINALLY he talks to chef terry (IM SORRY OLIVIA FREAKING COLEMAN??? ALRIGHT SURE) and its all cemented. everything he's been learning from this place is cemented when she tells him the story of how she created the restaurant - it's never too late to start anew, to start fresh, to try again - and this sense of hope just cements itself into him of "i can and will go up, it's not over until i say it's over"

purpose man, purpose

SIDE NOTE: seeing this post from s1 is so perfect like episode 7s are about richie. he tries so desperately hard to prove to everyone that hes worth someone that hes not a loser that he has purpose and MY GOODNESS THIS SEASON IS SO GOOD IT'S WOVEN BEAUTIFULLY AND I LOVE IT

#this is a very rough analysis and im sure theres smarter people out here with more to say on it and wld love to hear everyones thoughts!!#but also i had to get this all out because this episode meant something to me. it really made me feel something #i am by all means young but am entering this stage of life where its like “im getting older and i cant deny it” like turning 20 hit me hard #so all these things of “its never too late” “age is not an indicator of worth” “as an individual you are wanted” idk man it messed me up lo #PURPOSE MAN PURPOSE #can you tell richie's my favorite character (besides marcus cause #rikrambles #the bear #the bear fx #the bear s2 #the bear season 2 #richie jerimovich #forks

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timingmatters · 11 months

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Im just beginning ep 4 but hazel and buddy already are cuter and have better chemistry than buddy and jane OR Jane and richie so far like. I cant believe spoilers dont talk about them??? Does it not go down this route???? It should tbh. Wasted potential. They got chemistry!!!!!!!!!!! They are talking about science things and she put him in his place first time they talked. THERES POTENTIAL. Idk how bad that friendship burns to the ground in the upcoming eps but im saying it since now i would be so down for buddy and hazel sjdjdjdjfj.

Also i can def see why ppl would hate this. It would benefit more his character than hers at least so far. But its the only ship rooted in actual friendship so far? And that will always have my vote. Like we didn’t see how jane or buddy came to be. And since the beginning we only see them having conflicts. Jane and richie only flirt. Nothing substantial there yet. Im not saying i ship buddy and hazel but i def see the potential. Regardless of anything they have striked a little friendship where they talk about theories and stuff that interest them and also he didn’t get defensive when she put him in his place. AAAAAh this could go so good im sorry ik i could finish ep 4 and change my mind but i see it!!!!

#grease rise of the pink ladies

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greenorangevioletgrass · 4 months

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OKAY SO when i said my thoughts around carmy and bradley werent coherent at all I meant that quite literally 😭 i havent thought about it in detail aside from the rough idea BUT if i have to expand on it i’d say it could be something along the lines of denim through the decades? or taking into account what you said about james dean/marlo brando i think it would be fun to see a campaign centered around iconic moments of denim in pop culture too. Maybe recreating some movie sets and outfits and such.

BUT im also thinking something a lot more chill bc ik recreating movie sets n stuff can be 1) a hassle and 2) a lil cheesy, so considering that the people involved in the campaign would be people with an interest in vintage denim n such i was thinking about levis incorporating some vintage pieces from personal collections. Picture one of the countless denims carmy stores inside his oven (sob) or one of bradley’s staples too. Mix that with a limited edition line of ‘brought from the past’ jeans, jackets, etc. and i think itd be golden.

By no means am I a denim expert, I’m talking out of my ass here after a few minutes of research LMFAO but its fun to think about it.

I’m sure carmy would be WAYYY more hesitant to participate than bradley. The latter is probably ecstatic and doesnt let his manager (im guessing levis would be in contact with his manager) finish. As soon as the words levis and collab leave his mouth, Bradley's sold.

I think carmy would be interested in working with levis, a little flattered that they considered him. Maybe taken aback too bc im guessing he’s a very private person and doesnt talk much about his denim collection and such so levi’s def did their research lol. Still, i think he was going to turn them down and then Sugar and Syd found out and tried to convince him bc ‘its levis, u gotta say yes’ but it didnt exactly work and in the end it was Richie who replied to the email with something along the lines ‘id be honoured to be a part of the campaign’ or smth weird in his attempt to impersonate carmen.

With the two of them on set, i quite frankly don’t know if they would interact or how that interaction would go. Think carmy might be too nervous to properly interact bc its a hectic environment. Maybe bradley saw him all closed up and semi alone and decided to strike a conversation with him, talking about denim and such. What do you think?

BTW im so sorry about the typos i keep making, i only notice after you respond LMFAO i swear my english is good, promise.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!! thank you so much for indulging me 😭😭 and no worries, i feel like we’re speaking in a language beyond english where we’re just throwing concepts at each other and we actually understand it. it’s beautiful.

i totally get it that recreating movie sets is a lot. what they can do is recreate looks inspired by these iconic movies (like james dean in rebel without a cause—carmy would look great in that!) they can do a studio shoot or an outdoor city shoot like JAW’s CK campaign (still not over that btw skshsjdhsj)

ok hear me out: carmy is reserved in his private life but i feel like deep down he likes being the golden boy. remember his monologue abt smoking ppl out wherever he works? and just the way he steps up to lead and plays up to people who wanna hear what he wants to say. i feel like with the restaurant on the rise, he’s bound to have done some interviews, and on one of them he went on a hyperfixation-fueled tangent abt vintage denim like the first episode.

and you’re so right, it still would take him a lot of nudging and jostling to say yes. i loooove the idea of richie very eloquently replying to the email and making carmy sound very eager and cordial 🤭 (i imagine he would be a very short emailer/texter if he ever does reply)

with carmy, i feel like it’s not so much that he dislikes hectic environments (how much more hectic can his kitchen get, right?) but it’s the kind of hectic that he can’t control. and it drives him nuts, and he’d take smoke breaks often and eventually, bradley goes with him although he doesn’t smoke. he’d say that he has been to noma a few times and he enjoyed it and they bonded over restaurants and food and all. he’d love to visit the bear some time, to which carmy is like “of course let me know anytime you’re in town”

(Bradley thinks carmy is one of the coolest people he’s ever met. Carmy thinks for someone who’s that famous, Bradley is super chill.)

#this is an unlikely duo that i am INTO #bradley bradshaw #carmy berzatto #carmy & bradley crossover #fx the bear #top gun maverick #footballer!bradley #ask ava

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krikeymate · 1 year

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dredge au (me again):

im thinking of all the ways richie can come back and terrorize the girls bc i love angst so this is what i came up with (which probably isnt very good but hey):

Amber lives on little Woodsboro, and she hears of these new comers. she herself was from the mainland, a long time ago, and she hasnt seen Sam and Tara for a long, long while. but it’s unmistakable, the love they have for each other, Amber would recognize it anywhere, shes never seen two people be so devoted to each other.

She remembers that Richie had an interest in them, back when she was on the mainland. and so, she writes a letter, sends it off with an uknowing traveling merchant, the letters R.B. on the seal. she tells this merchant that the dockworkers would know who to give it to.

Richie receives a letter, from someone he knew ages ago. A young woman, who he had the great (mis)fortune of knowing years ago, when she was so young, so innocent. The letter tells him where to find Sam, where to find his prize, but the letter is also a warning.

‘The sea must grant you passage. You need to give something it wants, in exchange for your safety.’

Enclosed in the letter, he finds a ring with the initials S.P.

‘Bring this to the Collector, before you take your revenge. He has a special interest in it.’

And so, with only the knowledge the letter provides him, he takes his leave, and makes haste to Woodsboro.

My dear intended, we're engaged now, sorry, don't make the rules.

Anyway. I love you? This is a great call.

I think I made their ages 20 and 15. Canonically Tara is older than her peers but here she gets to be younger. Amber is 17 and left 2 years ago under a scandal. The Freemans are well-known merchants, and their daughter being caught in bed with someone (Ritchie) other than their intended (Wes, of the Hicks, son of the one law enforcement officer not under someone else's payroll and due to follow in his mother's footsteps (they want him under their payroll, hence the engagement)), was quite the scandal. It reflected poorly on them, so they sent her away, to live with her trader uncle, Dewey. (He's got something going on with the mayor of Greater Woodsboro, it seems, always exchanging letters with G. Weathers, but neither leaving their respective islands).

The arrival of the Carpenter sisters causes quite the stir, it has the town people in a tizzy. Newcomers are rare. Newcomers that stay are rarer. Newcomers that stay and fish and live never happen. Amber used to play with the sisters as children, before social convention kicked in and she was reminded they're not the sort of people one of her status associate with. She would still enjoy the younger sister's company on occasion, she enjoyed the look of awe and admiration she would send her way as she gave her a taste of the other side. The older one was trouble.

She receives monthly news of the happenings from back home, from family, from friends left behind. The news that Tara Carpenter has fled engagement from Ritchie of the Bailey's, and that he's offering a reward for knowledge of her whereabouts, is intriguing. (They don't like to lose what is theirs, and a substantial debt was wiped clean, they're owed their reward). She pens him a letter.

He offers money - of which he has plenty - of the opportunity to leave the godforsaken little island she is trapped on, to move back to the mainland, to a city, if only she would be so kind to reveal the location of his intended. He sends it with gold, weighing the letter and his words.

She sends him back a location, a warning, and a special ring from her uncle's hidden collection. She tells him to bring her money with him. She's learnt so much about the sea and its magic since she's been here, she's sure it will eat him alive. But not until she gets her money. Perhaps it will even leave her the boat.

#/mp #ask box #Scream #AU: dredge

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narcolini · 8 months

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rules: shuffle your repeat playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten ppl (thanku for taggin @when-did-this-become-difficult <3)

i really have no idea what will come up im excited

Coconut Oil - KIRBY (absolute tune)

Breakfast in Bed - Rayana Jay (this one comes up on sooo many of my mixes and i simply never skip)

Satellite - Harry Styles (sorry but this is THE song of harrys house for me)

Fresh Water - PAMÉ, Floyd fuji (BEG you go listen to this, so good)

telepatía - kali uchis (are we surprised)

Hares on the Mountain - Shirley Colins, Davy Graham (i have no explanation for thisnjdkfg sometimes you just have to listen to old folk music dont you . )

Grapevines - Rozie Ramati (if you like FKA you'll probs like this)

Chimacum Rain - Linda Perhacs (no actually i knew this would come up because its one of my fave songs ever i listen to it literally on a loop sometimes dkfjhgdfg)

Love Train - The O'Jays (cmon CMON!!!!! 🕺 )

All along the Watchtower - Richie Havens (this dude was soooooo good, im a posthumous superfan)

tagging no-one cause i think u got them all covered ash!!

#tag games #this took me so long to write because i listened to every song that came up lmaoooo #tag game

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freshbakedbreadstick · 8 months

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No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Six

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Jerimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: The human mind is a very scary thing.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of death, funerals, grief, angst, strained relationships, minor injuries, arguments/yelling matches, details of anxiety/panic attacks, bad coping mechanisms, mental health issues, running away, addiction, interventions, al-anon. Depiction of a gun and implication of suicide in a portion, not graphic but heavily implied/hinted at during a possibly distressing nightmare sequence.

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: A little late bc i just moved into my dorm for the year <3 its been quite the adjustment so i took a bit of time to myself to just relax and get used to things ! ! ! Anyways today was my first day of class and it went SO GOOD ! ! ! ! Im so excited for the semester and the school year in general ily all sm have a slay day besties ! Also this is just angst again im sorry i swear it will get better at some point but probably not nowwwww 😭

Taglist: @marysucks-blog @shinebright2000 @jadeittic @eternallyvenus (MWAH <3 )

Masterlist

You stood in the back of the room, leaning against the wall and wearing some sunglasses you dug out from your bag. Your arms were crossed and your face was neutral but, behind those dark frames you wore, your eyes darted back and forth between each person who sat in the chairs around the circle and to Amanda, the leader of this Al-Anon meeting.

Some were at ease, sharing freely and even throwing jokes in between their talks, while others sat stiffly and managed to get up on their shaky legs and share their own narratives.

But somehow, none of them judged one another.

Beside you stood your mom, gripping her purse straps so tightly that you could see the straps bending in her grip. She tapped her foot softly on the linoleum, smiling empathetically to each person and applauding politely when needed. But every once in a while, she would glance over at you and look away quickly, shoulder slumping and smile fading.

Your lips formed a line as you continued to look as neutral as possible, staring as the meeting started to get wrapped up. Amanda spoke to everyone, clasping her hands together before waving everyone off with a soft smile.

Everyone got up from their chairs, some joining one another to talk while others moved toward the door a couple feet away from you. They passed by you, most not really turning to you while a couple politely nodded and left.

But as the room started to get emptier and emptier, that scared-nauseous feeling came back in full force when your mother put a hand on your forearm and looked over at Amanda.

“You know, Natalie was the one who recommended me to take you to some Al-Anon meetings… but it was Carmy who told me to take you to one after you ran out…”

You glanced over at your mom, eyebrows furrowing.

“Why?”

Your question was both a rhetorical and actual one. Part of you was confused as to why Carmy was the one who spoke to your mom about the argument at The Beef earlier. Carmy was the person who didn’t bother to show up to Mikey’s funeral and refused to reach out to those who tried to contact him, so why would he even bother to care about you facing your own feelings about this situation?

But another part of you was touched.

Carmy was the kid brother who would follow you and Natalie around when you were in middle school. When you were in high school and started to date Mikey, Carmy was the kid that you would playfully bother when Mikey wasn’t giving you attention. As an adult, Carmy was your sense of peace whenever he was around, providing you with a much needed distraction during Berzatto family gatherings when he would finally open up (after much pestering on your part) about his own life away from Chicago. And while it seemed like that sense of peace was gone as he got farther and farther away from everyone, this news made you realize that it had never left.

He still wanted to give you that peace you desperately needed when it came to his family.

Your mom turned to look at you and gently reached up to take your sunglasses off. She looked into your eyes, seeing the way the bags under your eyes looked darker while you both stood in the corner of the room.

With a heavy sigh, she responded, “Carmy told me that he had just started to attend some meetings himself. Natalie told him over and over to go to some but he… he hadn’t gone until now. And when he heard the news that you came back, he jumped to tell me about taking you. Especially when he saw your erratic behavior, he knew you wouldn’t go unless we were the ones who took you.”

You looked away, arms falling to your sides.

“Please give it a try, please… you know that Mikey wouldn’t want you stressed out like this…”

Your chest tightened, “I… I don’t know what Mikey would’ve wanted anymore.”

Amanda called your name as she began walking over to you, making you quickly rub your eyes and look at her, “Hey you two, how are you feeling about possibly coming to a session?”

You shrugged and looked to the floor, “I’ll have to think about it but… I might.”

Amanda smiled and nodded, “I know this is a huge first step and I understand that you need time to think about it. Our next session will be in two days, you're free to join us if you would like to. And, you're free to bring someone for support.”

You nodded and glanced at your mom, seeing her smile at you from the corner of your eye.

You soon found yourself back in your car, packed haphazardly full of your stuff, and looking out of the passenger’s seat window.

You leaned your head onto the glass as your eyes looked out the window at the way the sky started to turn from blue to orange. By the time you got home, the sky was filled up with colors similar to the ones you saw while sitting on the hood of your car all those months ago.

The car slowly pulled into the driveway and standing on the sidewalk, with his hands in his pocket, was your dad. He waved and smiled sadly, making you sigh and look away. You could feel the way your cheeks began to burn and your chest tightened.

Silently, he approached the car and opened the trunk. You passed by him, watching him begin to start to unpack the trunk that held the boxes of your life, one by one.

The three of you, in silence, emptied the entirety of your car. Any of the boxes and other belongings you had previously kept there were now placed in your room, each getting a designated spot and most getting unpacked completely.

The way that everything just seemed to fall into place in your own childhood bedroom made you shiver and walk away as your parents continued organizing.

In the dark hallway, you paced. Your fingers busied themselves with picking the skin of your bottom lip, leaving it raw and sting whenever your tongue ran over it. It wasn’t until your parents came back out that you managed to get yourself to pause, ignoring the way it stung.

Your mom smiled sympathetically and passed you, placing her arm comfortingly on your shoulder. You dad though, he paused and let your mom get downstairs and away from the two of you before he spoke up, “Some habits are hard to break, I know that, but staying here for a while will be good for you, okay honey? I love you so much, we all do, and we want you to stay.”

Your eyes stung a bit, making you flutter your eyelids to stop any tears from forming, “Okay… I think… okay.”

Your dad wrapped his arms around you and hugged you. His arms squeezed around you, tight, as if you were going to fall into pieces if he didn’t hold onto you hard enough. You winced and he did so, but let him hold onto you.

“Your my little girl and I would,” He began to speak again, pausing as his voice cracked to clear his throat before continuing, “Your mother and I would never be the same if anything happened to you. We love you so much.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

As you watched him go down the dark hallway and down the stairs, you felt your lips sting as you began to taste a salty wetness. The decision was done: you would stay here for however long it took to heal and would attend the Al-Anon meetings in the meantime.

Now that this major decision was made, it was time for another.

“Time to fix my fuck up,” you mumbled to yourself.

Later that night, after you had dinner and began to unwind for the night, you went over and sat on your bed. After washing the day’s bad choices and tears down the drain, you had changed into something comfortable for bed. You hummed, feeling satisfied with the soft clothes you wore that you completely forgot you even had, thankfully your parents’ unpacking and organizing allowed you to find them easily and happily.

With an exhausted groan, your back hit the plush mattress. You bounced softly for a second before wiggling around to get comfortable before pulling the blankets onto your body. With a glance to the ceiling, you began to think.

You had messed up majorly with Carmy, Sugar, and Richie; well, with the entirety of The Beef. You knew that you definitely needed to apologize and try to make things right, especially considering that you would be staying here now and could run into them. You might be the type of person to flee in the face of trouble, but you knew that not apologizing would sour your relationship with them even more than it already is.

And while it was a bit overwhelming to be around them now, you did miss them.

Showing up and just apologizing en masse made you cringe a little. You knew that Carmy probably wouldn’t receive that well, he was stubborn and held onto anger so this wouldn’t just be an easy thing to forgive for him. Richie would be a bit hesitant to show vulnerability in front of everyone so the tough and funny guy act would be brought up, and that wouldn’t feel like you properly apologized to him. And Sugar… she would take your apology in a heartbeat but… you didn’t want her to. She was tough when she wanted to be but was always too kind with you. You didn’t just want this to be a forgive and forget moment for her, you wanted her to be upset with you and let you work on gaining her forgiveness.

“I can’t let her be a doormat…” you whispered to yourself.

But while you laid there, on the soft mattress of your childhood bedroom, the cocoon of blankets and fresh air that made it perfect to get all snuggled up started to work against you. The warm plushness made your thoughts get blurrier and your eyes droop and while your breathing got deeper and deeper, your body gave in to sleep.

You narrowed your eyes at the orange sun, letting yourself blink until your eyes got adjusted to the room. You then looked around and gasped when you realized where you were.

You were back in the kitchen of the place you and Mikey lived in together. The bright setting sun had come from the giant window of the kitchen, the window that overlooked the streets and had a view of the city, the exact window that made you and Mikey decide to rent this place in the first place.

Everything looked and felt hazey, half drowned in the warm yellow lighting of the sun. As you looked down at your hands, you saw them also overlaid with the sun, feeling warm and looking… healthy.

Someone started humming behind you, voice deep. You whipped your head around to see who it was and was faced with the back of a tall, broad man.

He wore a black shirt that stretched over his muscular body. As your eyes wandered up his form, you noticed the attractive and slightly messy dark hair that was on his head.

“Baby?”

Your heart stopped.

You began to stumble backward, gasping giant gulps of air as your eyes zeroed in on the man in front of you. Slowly, he began to turn around, and give you a good look of himself.

His dark brown eyes focused on you. His eyebrows creased together as he watched you reel back, almost falling to the floor.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

You let out a strangled cry as he began to move forward, reaching his toned arm out to grab you. You froze, eyes trained on his large hand as it came closer and closer to your skin. You squeezed them shut, terrified.

His hand felt warm as it gently wrapped around your own.

You felt yourself being gently guided up and forward. The hand then let go of you and an arm wrapped around your body, resting the hand against the small of your back. Another hand wrapped around you on the opposite side and you were pulled close against a broad chest.

You could feel the way his relaxed heart was beating, unlike your own racing one.

“Mikey…” you whispered in a broken breath, eyes still clamped shut.

Your entire body was stiff as a board as you stood there, but it began to betray you and give in to the person in front of you.

“Look at me baby,” The voice said, rumbling but calm.

With a sharp inhale, you began to blink your eyes open. You looked at the face in front of you, your own eyes connecting to those dark eyes you missed so much.

“Mikey… is it really you?”

You felt a deep rumble in his chest, followed by the twinkling of his laugh. He threw his head back, letting his unruly hair flutter as he moved.

“Yes baby, it’s me. Who the hell else would it be?” He smiled at you, letting his eyes half lid as he looked at you.

“But… but you…” you began, but were quickly interrupted.

“Come here babydoll, come try this for me.”

He moved away from you and ushered you forward with one arm, but regardless, you had no choice as the other arm that was still wrapped around your waist pulled you close into his side. Your body slotted against him, as if the missing piece to his puzzle.

You watched as Mikey dipped a finger into the giant pot of sauce that was bubbling on the stove and you slowly began to smell the scent of roasted garlic and fresh basil, straight from the pot you had growing on the windowsill.

He gently blew on his finger as steam rose from the sauce, he slowly brought it up to your lips, pausing just before he would touch them to look at you in the eyes again.

“Go on baby, try it and tell me what you think.”

You gulped and parted your lips. Leaning forward, your mouth encased his finger. As your tongue hit the sauce, your eyes shot wide open.

A multitude of flavors exploded in your mouth, all so familiar. That made your knees buckle.

With a laugh, Mikey caught you before you went down, taking his finger from your mouth and wrapping both arms around you again. He carefully lifted you up and placed you on the empty kitchen island to sit.

“Was it that good? How come you don’t react like that every other time I make it, hmm?” Teasingly, he smirked at you and turned away to wash his hands.

But all you could do was sit there, stone cold, and in shock. No matter how many times you swallowed, the taste of fresh sauce with a ton of garlic, basil, and San Marzano tomatoes would still linger on your tongue. A sauce that Mikey would make, claiming to be a recipe that only he could make perfectly, for family spaghetti night.

His voice interrupted your thoughts, bringing you back to where you sat, “Do you think it needs anything? I wanna make sure it’s perfect before Carmy, Sugar, and Richie get here.”

You coughed and shook your head rapidly, unsure what to do but along with it, “Yea it’s, it’s perfect, my love.”

You paused, eyes wide again. A slip of the tongue. You hadn’t said “my love” for such a long time that it felt foreign coming from your mouth, despite it being a nickname you commonly used for Mikey.

But Mikey either didn’t seem to notice or didn’t seem to care when you said that. He just beamed and turned back around to stir the pot for a second.

As you gathered yourself on that counter, you looked around again. Everything was… everything was exactly like how you left it. The pots and pans were in their usual spots, the curtains were drawn just the way you liked them, and every framed photo in the house showed you and Mikey, grinning and holding onto one another.

You were home.

But you knew you weren’t supposed to be here.

“Give me a second babydoll, i’ll be right back.”

Your head whipped around to look at Mikey as he stood in front of you. He smiled and reached over, kissing your temple, before walking off in the direction of the bathroom with a hand in his pocket.

Once he disappeared, you immediately threw yourself off the kitchen island.

Your hands immediately went to the back of your neck, holding onto it as your eyes raced over everything.

“What the fuck am i doing here?!”

Everything around you was perfectly in place, as if untouched by time.

The world around you spun as you threw your body around, desperately trying to find something that would prove that something was wrong. But alas, everything seemed okay.

You were too terrified to open any drawers or touch anything, so all you could do was hyperventilate and turn around over and over and over, scanning the walls to see the photographs you knew you buried under boxes and decorations you tried but failed to throw out.

Suddenly a phone began to ring.

You froze.

There was no phone in the kitchen, nor the living room, or anywhere else in the house. But there was a phone whose ringing sounded exactly like this one’s; the phone in your parent’s house.

It was an analog, rotary style phone that rested on a table in the hallway of your parent’s house. This hallway led the front door to the living room and had picture frames of you and your family throughout the years. Next to the table with this phone was a small, single sofa chair/

A chill went down your spine as tears began to sting your eyes.

This was the phone you found out about Mikey’s death. And that chair was the one you collapsed on before screaming.

The ringing stopped. Then, Mikey’s voice echoed from the other room, calling you.

Hesitantly, you turned to the direction you heard his voice.

He called your name again, but this time, he beckoned you over.

“Come here for a second baby!”

You stared at the empty doorway where you watched him leave. From that direction, his voice called your name out again.

As your foot slowly inched forward, you held your breath.

“I just need you real quick, come over here!”

Your footsteps were silent as you stepped forward, closer to the sound of his voice and to the doorway that led from your kitchen and dining room to the hall.

His voice got louder and louder as you slowly rounded the doorway, continuing to call you.

Down the hall and in front of you was the bathroom door, wide open. There stood Mikey, back towards you, standing in the dimly lit hallway and dark bathroom.

Now, he was silent and still.

With a quiet and shaky voice, you managed to whisper out, “Mikey?”

You heard a click coming from him, coming from his hand. When you looked down, you saw metal.

“I'm sorry babydoll.”

Your body jerked up with a strangled cry. You ripped the blankets from your body and threw yourself out of bed, falling straight to the floor with a loud thud.

Your knees ached and your palms did too as you hit the floor, but you didn’t care. In that moment, all you could think about was what you saw. All you could think about was the shine of the metal.

As a loud cry escaped your shaking body, your door swung open to reveal your alarmed parents. They called your name, rushing forward to hold you as you sobbed and screamed only for their alarmed questions weren’t heard as you continued to see the glint of the metal, despite it not being there.

#the bear #carmen berzatto #reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto imagine #carmy the bear #michael berzatto x reader #mikey berzatto #mikey berzatto imagine #mikey the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #richie berzatto imagine #richie the bear #richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovich #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto #the bear fx

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