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#its-nat-romanoff's incorrect quotes
stevercgcers · 4 years
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Tony: I slept for almost 12 hours but idk i might still be tired so lets go for 12 just in case
Steve: Tony that’s a coma
Tony: Sounds festive
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natsskydivingcrew · 2 years
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Natasha: I don't get on my knees for no man.
Tony: *raises an eyebrow* is that right sweetheart?
Natasha: *ready to stab him*
Nat: 100%
Thor: I See
Peter: fair
Nat: but for a woman....
Wanda: yes?
Nat: STILL NO. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SPENT ON THESE JEANS??!? *turns to walk out of the room*YOU GOTTA BE OUT OF YOUR MIND!
Maria: knees. Now
Nat: yes ma'am
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pheonix143 · 5 years
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Anyone: You better stop!
Clint: ha! Or what? You’ll stab me? Pffft do it b i t c h. I BEEN ready to die
Anyone: or I’ll call Natasha.
Clint: *sweating* H-ha. Natasha doesn’t scare me. *Nervously goes back to doing the thing*
Anyone: *dials*
Clint: nO! *smacks their phone out of their hand* i WoNt Do iT aGaiN PlEaSe dOnT caLL ‘TaShA. *scrambles to pick up their phone and apologizes profusely* I’ll bake you muffins and-
*Natasha walks in and does said thing*
Clint:
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Conversation
Clint: Okay, there is only one thing you need to know about Agent Romanoff.
Sharon: Don't make her angry.
Clint: So, technically, really, there's two things. The other is, she can take care of herself.
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helloalycia · 3 years
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my patient’s neighbour [three] // wanda maximoff
summary: your relationship with Wanda gets a little bumpy when her work life crosses over with your personal life.
warning/s: implied kidnapping, mentions of anxiety
author's note: so the ‘i love you’ confession was actually inspired by an incorrect quote on @aquamarinescarlet’s page! i thought it would be cute aha
part one | part two | part four | part five | part six | part seven | masterlist | wattpad
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It was two months into our relationship when I knew I'd fallen in love with Wanda. I can't remember the exact moment when it hit me – I guess it had happened gradually over time – but I remember the embarrassing moment when I told her.
She'd brought me as her date to an Avengers party thrown by Tony Stark. I'd been to one of them before, about a month into dating her, as she'd wanted me to meet her friends from work AKA the freakin' Avengers. They were actually really great and (somewhat) humble people. I didn't expect to become 'friends' with any of them, more just be friendly whenever I saw them through Wanda. To my surprise, I became quite good friends with Natasha Romanoff.
We had the same dark sense of humour, both had an unexplainable obsession with horror films and she was genuinely just really easy to talk to. I wasn't expecting it, but it was nice to gain a new friend in addition to a new girlfriend.
So, I was at my second Avengers party with Wanda by my side, but the party had ended about half an hour ago and I may or may not have been drunk.
We were sat on the couch, conversing with the other Avengers, and I was sat between Wanda and Natasha. The others were involved in their own conversations and I was too dazed to realise what I was doing until it happened.
"Wanda has no idea I'm in love with her," I said (not-so) quietly, leaning over to my left, into Wanda's ear unknowingly.
Wanda, who was playing with my fingers in her hand, paused and glanced to me with bright eyes, a surprised expression on her face.
"You're in love with me?" she asked, lips twitching into a smile.
I blinked, her words settling in, before I licked my lips. "Oh, sorry." Turning to my right, I moved to Natasha's ear, whispering loudly, "Wanda has no idea I'm in love with her."
Natasha glanced to me with a quirked brow, amused smile on her lips. "She doesn't? You sure about that?"
"You're in love with me?" Wanda repeated, sitting forward and earning my attention.
I gasped, wondering how she knew, before slapping Natasha's arm and looking to her with a frown. "You told her?! I trusted you!"
Natasha ignored me, instead looking to Wanda with an encouraging look. "I'll leave this one to you. Good luck."
She stood up, heading over to Thor and Bruce Banner on the other couch, and I booed her as she left.
"Yeah, run away, you secret-give-away'er!" I called after her with a pout, before crossing my arms.
"I think it's time I take you home," Wanda said decidedly, trying not to laugh as she pulled me up off the couch.
"I don't like Natasha anymore," I mumbled, allowing Wanda to take me away.
She bid her goodbyes to her teammates before leading me to the lift. I don't really remember what else happened until we were suddenly at my house – well, my parents house, but they had given it to me as they travelled the world with their retirement money. She was leading me inside and to my bedroom, getting me dressed like the sweet girlfriend she was, before tucking me into bed.
Of course, being the clingy drunk I was, I pulled her on top of me and didn't let go as I wrapped my arms around her.
"Stay," I mumbled into her shoulder, closing my eyes.
She chuckled, trying to pull away. "Y/N, you need to sleep, c'mon."
"I will," I whined, not letting her leave. "If you stay with me."
She paused, before giving in with a sigh. "Fine."
Tiredly, I smiled. "Yesssss." I patted the spot next to me. "Right here, please."
In the light of my bedside lamp, I saw her roll her eyes playfully, before turning off the lamp and jumping under the covers with me. I sighed with relief, cuddling into her side without hesitating.
"I love you," I mumbled, barely thinking about it.
She tightened her embrace and I felt her kiss the top of my head. "You're probably gonna forget you said that in the morning. But I'll remind you. And if you still think it, then I'll reply."
Her words went into one ear and out the other. I hummed in response, not knowing what I was answering to, and let myself get lost in her scent as I drifted into a peaceful slumber.
When I woke up the next morning, I quite liked the idea of sharing bed with Wanda and waking up to her dishevelled hair and our intertwined legs, even though I didn't remember inviting her to stay. Of course, I also had a banging headache and felt like someone had hit me with a train, so I didn't get chance to appreciate it much.
"Fuck," I mumbled, pulling the duvet over my head to block out the sun streaming through the slit in my curtain.
Wanda, who was shuffling beside me, yawned and stretched her arms. Suddenly, I heard quiet laughter, before she spooned me, wrapping her arms around my stomach and pulling me closer. Her leg raised and clung to my waist, and as much as I appreciated the way she fit perfectly against me, I was still in pain.
"Why did you let me drink that much?" I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut.
"I believe that was your own conscience decision, dorogoy (darling)," she said in that know-it-all voice of hers, and it was hard for me to be annoyed at her because she had a raspy, morning voice and her accent was especially thick with fatigue and damn, Wanda Maximoff was pretty sexy in the morning.
"Whatever," was all I said, but I placed my hand on hers and joint our fingers together.
"You know," she started, tucking her head comfortably into my neck, "I quite like waking up to you like this. You're very cute, even if you're cranky."
Despite aforementioned crankiness, I cracked a smile. "I like this, too."
It was very domestic, something I didn't get the privilege of experiencing with Wanda because she worked a lot, and it felt good.
After hanging around in bed for a little while longer, I got up and showered whilst Wanda offered to make me some breakfast – "Pancakes are a hangover's cure! Or at least according to Tony". After getting ready, I came downstairs to find a stack of pancakes and maple syrup waiting for me.
"You are a Godsend," I told her, pressing a haste kiss to her lips before sitting at the table with the pancakes. "Thank you."
She chuckled, grabbing her own pancakes and sitting opposite me. "Anything for you."
After I dug in, complimenting her on how delicious they tasted, a comfortable silence fell between us. Well, until Wanda spoke up cautiously.
"So, does anything from last night ring a bell?" she asked, making me look up to see her staring eagerly.
My content expression fell. "Shoot, did I do something embarrassing?" I facepalmed. "God, what was it? Did I fall asleep on somebody?"
She smiled with adoration, eyes twinkling in the morning sun. "No, nothing like that."
I could tell there was something though, judging from her hesitant expression. I scrunched my face with regret.
"What did I do?" I asked, unprepared to hear it. "Did I say something to you?"
She played with her fork, twisting it around in her plate nervously, which was very unlike her. "Yeah, actually, you did."
I waited, feeling like the silence was deafening the longer she stayed quiet.
"You said you were in love with me," she said, voice so soft and quiet that I barely heard it.
I felt my heart drop to my stomach. "I what?"
"I mean, technically you said I had no idea you were in love with me, but I think you were supposed to tell Nat that," she continued, eyes avoiding mine. "Then you told Nat and you got mad at her because you thought she told me."
I facepalmed for the second time that morning. "Oh, God..."
"Then you invited me to stay the night and told me you loved me before you fell asleep," she finished rambling. "I just, er, wanted to check if you meant that..."
I raised my eyebrows with disbelief. "Are you kidding?" I reached over the table to grab her hand. "Wanda, of course I meant that! But I hoped to tell you at a better time than by accident whilst I was drunk."
Blue eyes flickered to mine, excitement creeping onto her face. "You meant it."
I breathed out, realising what exactly I'd just said. "I– yeah. I meant it. I'm in love with you, Wanda."
Her smile widened. "I'm in love with you, too."
My heart fluttered in my chest as I relaxed my shoulders. "You love me."
She giggled, squeezing my hand. "We just did this."
"Right! We did," I said, shaking my head, grin forming on my lips. "Sorry. I'm just so happy right now."
"Me, too," she said in agreement, thumb stroking the top of my hand.
I didn't think things could go wrong from here. I was on top of the world! But of course, the world had a funny way of ruining things.
Dating a superhero had its pros and cons, I suppose, but neither really showed themselves to me often as it was as if Wanda's superhero life was separate to the one we shared. When she and I were together, it was just us. And she would leave for work and I wouldn't think about it. Then she would return and it would be us again.
If I took a moment out of my day to stop and really think about where she was, what she could be doing, the danger she could be in... I just couldn't do it. Even when she would show up to our next date with a fresh bruise from training, or a broken bone from a mission gone too far, I'd worry about it for the time being then try to let it go. Those weren't superhero perks, those were reasons to be concerned. And I couldn't handle imagining the time when she'd come back to me in a worse state, or to not even come back at all.
So, her superhero life rarely overlapped with our shared one. And I was happier that way. Until it did.
I was running errands one day, little things that required me to run around the city – dry cleaning, grocery shopping, picking up some DIY stuff for my house. It was a pretty relaxing, fun day. I'd treated myself to lunch, was soaking in the sunshine and planning to unwind with some Netflix on the couch.
"Hold on, I need to unlock the front door," I mumbled into the phone. I was talking to Wanda, catching her up with my day as I returned home.
"Try not to drop your phone this time," she teased from the other end, and I could just imagine the smirk on her face.
"So funny," I said with an eye roll. "Real comedian."
She laughed as I placed my phone in my pocket, not quite hanging up. Pulling my keys from my shopping bag, I fiddled with them, attempting to find the key for my front door.
Suddenly, something metal and cold pressed to my back and I jumped, dropping my keys with surprise.
"Don't draw attention," the person said, and I went rigid, looking up to see a reflection of someone unrecognisable in the glass of my front door. "You're going to leave your things here and come with me."
"Who are you?" I asked, trying to turn around, but the object pressed harder into my back, making me wince.
"Leave your fucking things here and give me your hand," the man ordered, ignoring my question. "Phone included. And don't even think about making a call."
I swallowed hard, panic settling in as I listened to the threatening stranger. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I realised that the stranger had no idea I was already on a call. With an Avenger nonetheless.
"I'll put it down," I narrated my actions, soon coming to realise that the object behind my back was in fact the barrel of a gun.
Hoping Wanda was still listening in and could hear the exchange, I put my phone on the ground and placed my shaking hand in the man's outstretched one. He tucked his gun back into the waistband of his jeans before tugging me down the steps and to a black van parked opposite my house.
Too paralysed with fear at the sight of two more strange men getting out the van, I felt my throat go dry and words get stuck at the bottom. Looking around, I hoped to find a neighbour's eyes or dog-walker's lost gaze, but nobody was here. Whoever these men were had timed their entrance perfectly.
When we reached the van, the back doors were opened and the man spun me around roughly before placing a bag on my head and shoving me inside. Hot tears ran down my face as I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering what the hell was happening and who these people were. But mostly, I hoped Wanda was already on her way.
The whole incident was over soon. That's what we were calling it now. The 'incident'. Of course, it could have been called other things... the kidnapping, the abduction, the capture. But we settled with the 'incident'. It was less explicit, as if minimising how utterly terrifying the whole experience was.
I never did find out who those men were. Wanda offered to tell me, feeling a need to explain herself and blame herself and drag herself down in the dirt to make me feel better, to bring me out of my silence and give me something to feel good about. I recalled her mentioning they were after her, getting to her through me – her girlfriend.
She rescued me quite quickly. Being tied up and locked away and left to cry like a child, wondering if I was going to die any minute at the hands of captors whom I had never met nor done anything to in my life, wasn't fun. People always wonder what they would do in those situations; maybe they would square up and put up a fight; maybe they would scream and shout and get everyone's attention; maybe they'd even retort with sarky remarks and go out with a blaze of glory.
I never imagined what that would be like, but I discovered I could do neither of those things. I just let them take me, let them threaten me and point their guns at me and tie me up and lock me away and–
I let myself cry and feel terrified and shake and lose my words and imagine the worst. Some would call that giving in, but this wasn't something you could prepare for. Surely my response was justified? I wasn't sure. I just knew that when Wanda burst onto the scene, taking out the men with ease and taking me out of there, taking me home, I was momentarily safe.
But then as she began to ramble off her explanations and apologies and regrets, I found myself turning in on myself, unable to hear her out. I didn't blame her one bit, but I also couldn't listen to one more second. So, I tuned her out.
I sat on the couch, staring at the way the thread was coming loose on one of my cushions. I thought about how quickly the whole 'incident' had happened. How one minute I was sat in a cell and now I was sat on my couch. How I was then shaking with fear and now I felt nothing.
"...you listening? Hey, are you okay?"
I only tuned back in when she sat on the cushion I was looking at. Her fingers rested on my cheek, guiding my head upwards so I was looking her in the eyes, glassy and red and swollen from crying. I probably looked the same, though I was all out of tears.
"I promise you nobody will be back here," she said with certainty, thumb stroking my cheek. "There's S.H.I.E.L.D. agents posted all along the street. And I'm happy to stay here if you need me to. You're safe now."
I knew I was. And despite my calm exterior, my heart was still racing in my chest, adrenaline still pumping through my body as if expecting to make a sudden break for it.
"What are you thinking?" she muttered, eyes flicking between mine curiously. "Talk to me. Please."
I shook my head, looking away. "I'm okay."
"It's okay not to be," she said quietly, squeezing my hand.
"I know."
So, we kept that bit up for a few more days, maybe a week. Me pretending I was okay, though still distant from Wanda as if she'd caught the plague, and her pretending she knew I was telling the truth.
But I knew she sensed the nightmares I had, waking me up in cold sweats. I knew she saw the way I tensed when a shadow cast along the wall from a moving object. Or the way I never faced the front door when unlocking it to get inside.
I guess she couldn't take it anymore at some point, possibly a week or two later, as when I was mixing my soup in a bowl after heating it up in the microwave, she sighed loudly.
"You okay?" I asked, glancing up at her. She was stood by the counter, seeming tired.
She'd been staying with me since the incident happened, obviously, and it was nice having her around so much, despite the circumstances. But I knew she was worried and had been keeping it in. I just didn't have the energy to acknowledge it.
"I'm fine," she said quickly, though her fingers still drummed on the countertop.
I let it go, shrugging, before paying attention to my soup. Her impatience was obnoxiously loud, filling the house with a discomfort she was dying to express. Eventually, she did.
"I'm not fine," she decided, and I stopped stirring my soup as I looked to her tugging on her sleeves distractedly. "I'm not fine because you're not fine."
"I've told you I am," I said monotonously, eyes boring into hers.
"I know you're not," she said, crossing her arms and hugging herself. "I've noticed you and..."
I quirked a brow. "And?"
She frowned, eyes softening with empathy. "Don't make me say it, Y/N."
I pressed my tongue to the back of my teeth as I looked down to my steaming soup.
"Talk to me," she pleaded, rounding the counter and leaning beside me, searching for my eyes. "I just want to help."
I swallowed hard. "I have nothing to say, Wanda."
"A really scary thing happened," she began hesitantly. "The fact that you don't have anything to say– that you've not said anything, isn't right."
"Well, I guess there's something wrong with me," I said dismissively, before grabbing the pepper grinder before me and using it.
"No, there's not," she reassured, not giving up. "You just need to talk.”
I set the grinder down, turning to face her abruptly. She straightened up with surprise, taking a small step back.
"What do you want me to say?" I asked, voice calm but full of unintentional malice. "Huh? What do you want me to tell you? That I'm terrified somebody is watching my house, waiting for a quiet moment to break in? That I have to follow you into every room you go in because I don't want to be left alone? That I can't fucking sleep because I'm scared that when I close my eyes, I'll be locked in a nightmare I can't escape? Is that what you want me to tell you? Does that make you feel better, Wanda? Because it doesn't make me feel any better. It just reminds me how fucking terrified I am."
I pocketed my shaking hands, blinked away the tears that threatened to fall, swallowed down the lump rising in my throat. She watched me, unsure what to say at first and I didn't blame her. It was an outburst waiting to happen.
"I'm–"
"Don't say you're sorry," I snapped, before flinching at my tone. "I know you're sorry. And I don't blame you for what happened. I just– I don't know what to do anymore."
Her eyes were studying me like green lasers burning holes into my skin and I hated that I couldn't meet them. I hated even more that I couldn't leave the kitchen out of anger or frustration because I was too scared to be left alone without her by my side.
So, I leaned against the counter, turning away from her, and let out a shaky breath, eyes burning and heart thumping in my ears. Her arms suddenly wrapped around me without question, and I let her take me into her chest, squeezing me so tight so I knew she was there.
Closing my eyes, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, but no sound came out. I struggled to breathe, unable to take in air through my nose as I stuffed my head so hard into her shirt that I couldn't see a thing except darkness. I knew I'd eventually be okay, that I'd eventually get back to some sense of normalcy. But for now, having her here with me was okay. And I found it much better to just be with her then have to go over and talk it out.
She was warm and strong and smelt like home and God, I loved her. I was lucky to have her.
It took about a month and a half to get over the incident. And after that, we never brought it up again. It was just easier that way. We continued on like usual, falling back into our old routine of having a separate us and her separate superhero life.
At some point, I thought it would be nice for her to meet my parents. They were back in town for the week, wanting to check in and see how I was. It was nice having them around and I was excited for them to meet Wanda, who I'd mentioned in some of our Skype calls.
"We don't have to make it a thing," I said as I proposed the idea. We were cleaning around Anna's apartment as she napped in her bedroom. "It's not like an 'oh, meet the parents' thing. They just happen to be in town and we're having a dinner, so I thought you might want to come. If you don't, it's not a big deal. I haven't told them to expect you. Not unless you say yes. Which you don't have to."
She chuckled, eyes gleaming with amusement. "Dorogoy (darling), calm down. Breathe."
I neatened the cushions on the couch with a bit too much force. "Am I not breathing? I'm pretty sure I'm breathing."
Her hands slipped into mine as she spun me around to face her. An amused smile on her lips, she said, "You need to relax. If you're like this now, then who knows what you'll be like on the night of the dinner?"
It took me a second to realise what she'd said and when I did, my eyes widened. "Wait, the night of the– does that mean you're going?"
She laughed, tugging me closer to her. "Yes, I'm going. I'd love to meet your parents!"
My shoulders relaxed as her fingers played with mine mindlessly. A smile appeared on my lips as I said, "Thank you. I– it'll be fun. No pressure. Just a dinner."
"Just a dinner," she confirmed, before kissing my forehead gently. "Can't wait."
And so on the day before my parents left for Scotland, yet another trip on their never ending retirement travels, I waited for Wanda to pick me up so we could go to a restaurant to meet my parents, who were already there after spending the day shopping in town.
She arrived at the door with a beautiful smile and bright eyes, looking me up and down.
"Just on time," I teased, tilting my head to the side, before being serious. "You look amazing tonight, Wanda."
"As do you, moya lyubov' (my love)," she said sweetly, leaning forward to kiss my cheek, before stepping inside. "Also, these are for you."
She removed her hand from behind her back as I closed the door, revealing a gorgeous, colourful bouquet of flowers.
"I saw them and thought of you," she began to explain without even realising how cute she was; a smile crept on my lips as she continued, "but then I realised I've never gotten you flowers before which is very dumb of me because a pretty girl deserves pretty flowers, right?"
There was no doubt that my face was heating up from the attention, flustered yet honoured at her words.
"Wanda, I love them," I said, accepting the flowers and meeting her gaze. "And to be fair, nobody has ever gotten me flowers before."
"You're kidding," she said with disbelief, stepping forward and wrapping her arms loosely around my waist. Reading my serious expression, she added, "Not even for your birthday? Or a celebration?"
I shook my head. "Nope."
She gave me a knowing look. "Well, that's very unfortunate. But I'm glad I could be the first."
I held her gaze, amusement dancing in her smile. Mirroring her expression, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose, making her scrunch it up delightfully.
"Me, too," I said, and I meant it.
"Come on, we should get going," she said, squeezing my waist before letting go. "Don't want to be late, do we?"
"We do not," I agreed, before putting the flowers in a vase of water and leaving them by the door.
"You ready?" she asked, holding open the front door.
I intertwined our hands and met her smile with my own. "I'm ready."
Taking the girlfriend to meet the parents. What could go wrong?
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ali-lie · 3 years
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Hey I'm dorry if this is irritating but I wanted to know if there's someone who's an American here, I have a few questions and was hoping you could answer those for me!
P. S : please dm me the reply
@slowly-writing @lesbian-deadpool @fanonical @hosie-and-beyond @ihavethewrongglass @lena-luthor @lesbianlenas @lena-in-a-red-dress @loveandsupportforcaptainmarvel @startrekkingaroundasgard @saskia-luthor @supercorp-prompt-zone @agentnatasharomanov @areyoureadyforsomemeatballz @aluthorand-asupercorp @wokeupinawalnut @whythinktoomuch @wlw-imagines-blog @wlwreader @rebeliz777 @thesparklingblue @thecatsbian @tonystarkstan @thewitchandtheassassin @incorrect-marvel-fam-quotes @irish-luthor @oreoambitions @pussy-puncher-its-an-inside-joke @domesticatedavengersdoingstuff @drfitzmonster @doctornineandthreequarters @fanfictionfaberrycentral @gayndifferent @jazzfordshire @c--and--b @caws5749 @natasha-romanoffs-thoughts @nat-blossom @natromanoffxox @mrsluthordanvers
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Natalie Rushman, when she was first employed by Tony: So how does Tony usually get out of these messes?
Pepper: He doesn’t. He just makes a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Sam: I got Bucky a get better soon card
Steve: That’s surprisingly nice of you
Sam: He isn’t sick I just think he should do better
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Steve: So what are you bringing to this dinner?
Tony: My negative attitude and sparkling personality
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Steve: So how much did this date cost?
Bucky: $1200. But all of it’s on credit cards, so it’s like $5 a month for the next 500 years.
Steve: ...
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Peter, crying: and then he threw me to the ground and literally called me an INSECT when he knows I’m an ARACHNID which was so mean and now I just feel so disrespected and-
Tony, awkwardly trying to comfort him: Uhhh....
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Bucky: So what’s for lunch?
Sam: Food, usually
Bucky: No, I mean what are you having?
Sam: An unwanted conversation
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Natasha: I turned out perfectly fine!
Steve: This morning you thought a ghost made your toast
Natasha: WELL I DIDNT PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDNT PUT THE BREAD IN!
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Tony: I want to sleep for like 40 hours
Steve: Yeah, you know that’s a coma right?
Tony: 
Tony: God, that sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Natasha *knocking on Steve’s door* : Steve! We need to go! Come out!
Steve: I’m gay!
Natasha: Not what I meant, but I’ll support you.
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stevercgcers · 5 years
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Steve: Is that your hand on my ass?
Tony: It was an accident.
Steve: Tony, your hand is still on my ass.
Tony: ITS STILL AN ACCIDENT!
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