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what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew · 4 months

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BOYCOTTING FOR PALESTINE

The Official BDS Boycott Targets

The Updated List is Below:

EUROVISION. IT IS IN OUR TOP PRIORITY TO BOYCOTT EUROVISION

Consumer Boycotts - a complete boycott of these brands

Axa

Puma

Carrefour

Cevron

Caltex

Israeli produce

Re/max

Ahava

Texaco

Siemens

Sodastream

Organic Boycott Targets - boycotts not initiated by BDS but still complete boycott of these brands

Macdonald's

Dominos

Papa Johns

Burger King

Pizza Hut

Wix

Divestments and exclusion - pressure governments, institutions, investment funds, city councils, etc. to exclude from procurement contracts and investments and to divest from these

Elbit Systems

CAF

Volvo

CAT

Barclays

JCB

intel

HD Hyundai

TKH Security

HikVision

Pressure - boycotts when reasonable alternatives exist, as well as lobbying, peaceful disruptions, and social media pressure.

Google

Amazon

AirBnb

Booking.Com

Expedia

Disney

Teva

Here are some companies that strongly support Israel (but are not Boycott targets). There is no ethical consumption under capitalism and boycotting is a political strategy - not a moral one. If you did try to boycott every supporter of Israel you would struggle to survive because every major company supports Israel (as a result of attempting to keep the US economy afloat), that being said, the ones that are being boycotted by masses and not already on the organic boycott list are coloured red.

5 Star Chocolate

7Days

7Up

Apple

Arsenal FC

ALDO

Arket

Axe

Accenture

Ariel

Adidas

ActionIQ

Aquafina

Amika

AccuWeather

Activia

Adobe

Aesop

Azrieli Group

American Eagle

Amway Corp

Axel Springer

American Airlines

American Express

Atlassian

AdeS

Aquarius

Ayataka

Audi

Barqs

Bain & Company

Bayer

Bank Leumi

Bank Hapoalim

BCG (Boston Consulting Group)

Biotherm

Bershka

Bloomberg

BMW

Boeing

Booz Allen Hamilton

Burberry

Bath & Body Works

Bosch

Bristol Myers Squibb

Capri Holdings

Costa

Carita Paris

CareTrust REIT

Caterpillar

Coach

Cappy

Caudalie

CeraVe

Check Point Software Technologies

Cerelac

Chanel

Chapman and Cutler

Channel

Cheerios

Cheetos

Chevron

Chips Ahoy!

Christina Aguilera

Citi Bank

Carrefour

Codral

Cosco

Canada Dry

Citi

Clal Insurance Enterprises

Clean & Clear

Clearblue

Clinique

Champion

Club Social

Coca Cola

Coffee Mate

Colgate

Comcast

Compass

Caesars

Conde Nast

Cooley LLP

Costco

Côte d’Or

Crest

CV Starr

CyberArk Software

Cytokinetics

Crayola

Cra Z Art

Daimler

Dr Pepper

Del Valle

Daim

Doctor Pepper

Dasani

Doritos

Daz

Dior

Dell

Deloitte

Delta Air Lines

Deutsche Bank

Deutsche Telekom

DHL Group

David Off

Disney

DLA Piper

Domestos

Domino’s

Douglas Elliman

Downy

Duane Morris LLP

Dreft Baby Detergent & Laundry Products

Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream

eBay

Edelman

Eli Lilly

Evian

Empyrean

Ericsson

Endeavor

EPAM Systems

Estee Lauder

Elbit Systems

Expedia

Forbes

Facebook

Fairlife

Fanta

First International Bank of Israel

Fiverr

Funyuns

Fuze

Fox News

Fritos

Fox Corp

Gatorade

Gamida Cell

Glamglow

General Catalyst

General Motors

Georgia

Gold Peak

Genesys

Goldman Sachs

Grandma’s Cookies

Google

Garnier

Guess

Greenberg Traurig

Guerlain

Givenchy

H&M

Hadiklaim

Huggies

Hanes

HSBC

Head & Shoulders

Hersheys

Herbert Smith Freehills

Hewlett Packard

Hasbro

Hyundai

Henkel

Harel Insurance Investment & Financial Services

Hewlett Packard Enterprise

HubSpot

Huntsman Corp

IBM

Innocent

Insight Partners

Inditex Group

IT Cosmetics

Instacart

Intel

Intermedia

Interpublic Group

Instagram

ICL Group

Intuit

Jazwares

Jefferies

John Lewis

JP Morgan Chase

Jaguar

Johnson & Johnson

JPMorgan

Kenon Holdings

Kate Spade

Kirks’

Kinley Water

KKR

KFC

KKW Cosmetics

Kurkure

Keebler

Kolynos

Kaufland

Kevita

Knorr

KPMG

Lemonade

Lidl

Loblaws

Levi Strauss

Louis Vuitton

Life Water

Levi’s

Levi’s Strauss

Land Rover

L’Oréal

Lego

Levissima

Live Nation Entertainment

Lufthansa

La Roche-Posay

Lipton

Major League Baseball

Manpower Group

Marriott

Marsh McLennan

Maison Francis Kurkdjian

Mastercard

Mattel

Minute Maid

Monster

Monki

Mainz FC

Mellow Yellow

Mountain Dew

Migdal Insurance

Marks & Spencer

Mirinda

McDermott Will & Emery

Motorola

McKinsey

Merck

Michael Kors

Mizrahi Tefahot Bank

Merck KGaA

Micheal Kors

Milkybar

Maybelline

Mount Franklin

Meta

MeUndies

Mattle

Microsoft

Munchies

Miranda

Morgan Lewis

Moroccanoil

Morgan Stanley

MRC

Nasdaq

Naughty Dog

Nivea

NOS

Nabisco

Nutter Butter

No Frills

National Basketball Association

National Geographic

Nintendo

New Balance

Nutella

Newtons

NVIDIA

Netflix

Nescafe

Nestle

Nesquick

Nike

Nussbeisser

Oreo

Oral B

Old spice

Oysho

Omeprazole

Oceanspray

Opodo

P&G (Procter and Gamble)

Pampers

Pull & Bear

Pepsi

Pfizer

Popeyes

Parker Pens

Philadelphia Cream Cheese

Pizza Hut

Powerade

Purina

Phoenix Holdings

Propel

Ponds

Pure Leaf Green Tea

Power Action Wipes

PwC

Prada

Perry Ellis

Prada Eyewear

Pringles

Payoneer

Procter & Gamble

Purelife

Pureology

Quaker Oats

Royal Bank of Canada

Ruffles

Revlon

Ralph Lauren

Ritz

Rolls Royce

Royal

S.Pellegrino

Sabra Hummus

Sabre

Sony

SAP

Simply

Smart Water

Sprite

Schwabe

Shell

Soda Stream

Siemens

StreamElements

Schweppes

Sunsilk

Signal

Skittles

Smart Food

Sobe

Smarties

Sephora

Sam’s Club

Superbus

Samsung

Sodastream

Sunkist

Scotiabank

Sour Patch Kids

Starbucks

Sadaf

Stride

Subway

Tang

Tate’s Bake Shop

The Body Shop

TEVA

Tesco

Twitch

The Ordinary

Tim Hortons

Tostitos

Timberland

Topo Chico

Tapestry

Tropicana

Tommy Hilfiger

Tommy Hilfiger Toiletries

Turbos

Tom Ford

Taco Bell

Triscuit

TUC

Twix

Tottenham Hotspurs

Twisties

Tripadvisor

Uber

Uber Eats

Urban Decay

Upfield

Unilever

Vicks

Victoria’s Secret

Vaseline

Vitaminwater

Volkswagen

Volvo

Walmart

Wegmans

Waitrose

Woolworths

Wheat Thins

Walkers

Warner Brothers

Warner Chilcot

Warner Music

Wells Fargo

Winston & Strawn

WingStreet

Wissotzky Tea

WWE

Wheel Washing Powder

Wrigley Company

YouTube

Yvel

Yum Brands

Ziyad

Zara

Zim Shipping

Ziff Davis

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silverware-drawer · 7 months

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Holy shit absolutely love this. Cinematic morality reversal woot woot!! Benito "I would help kill the child" Camelo making up excuses to help her while Jeffery "I would save them both with my karate skills" Bacons wants to run away and not get involved. Chef's kiss. Mwah.

#opq #silverware lore

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lively-potter · 3 months

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— part one

SYNOPSIS ;

─ in which river henshaw,

charleston's very own

introverted and innocent

baker by night slash daycare worker

by day, runs away from jungkook

jeon and his adorable

daughter, moon, when all jungkook

wants is to ask her out on a date.

ACTS ;

act one ; incomplete

act two ; incomplete

act three ; incomplete

WARNINGS ;

mutual pining

he falls first

body insecurities mentioned

eating disorder mentioned

social anxiety

mature themes

mature language

violence ( not directed at MFC )

slight bdsm themes ( like bondage and shit )

angst ( should I make y'all suffer more in this one?)

when it's time for the smuttttt, i'll put warnings.

EXTRA INFO ;

jeon jungkook x river aldora henshaw

brett west x blackbourne team

sang sorenson x toma team

kayli winchester x blake coaltar

atlas korba x wil winchester

started ; January 1st, 2023

plot change ; January 17th, 2023

posted ( on Wattpad ) ; January 18th, 2023 at 2:50 pm

completed ;

edited/revised ;

SMALL A/N ;

also, my characters, Atlas Korba and Brett West ( from my book, Brett ) will have appearances!

I'M FREAKIN' SHAKING IN EXCITEMENT FOR THIS!

DISCLAIMER ;

2024 © @LivelyPotter

You may not reproduce,

distribute/and or adapt

any part of this work

without my permission

I only own my original characters and the plot.

PLAYLIST ;

Morally Grey ; April Jai

Fictional ; Khloe Rose

Suffer ; Sarah Jeffery

Cruel Summer ; Taylor Swift

Greedy ; Tate McRae

Haegeum ; Agust D

Like Crazy ; Jimin

Take Two ; BTS

Love me again ; V

Still with you ; Jungkook

My Time ; Jungkook

Somebody ; Jungkook

Standing Next To You ; Jungkook

She's all I wanna be ; Tate McRae

My You ; Jungkook

Butterfly ; BTS

Dimple ; BTS

3D ; Jungkook

Exes ; Tate McRae

Hurt my Feelings ; Tate McRae

Run for the Hills ; Tate McRae

Sweet but Psycho ; Ava Max

Dangerously ; Charlie Puth

Spring Day ; BTS

Bloodline ; Ariana Grande

Want that Too ; Tate McRae

Shot Glass Full of Tears ; Jungkook

Closer to you ; Jungkook

Yes or No ; Jungkook

Please don't Change ; Jungkook

NOTE ;

Hi, everyone!

I'm so excited to be able to start writing the first chapter and I hope that you look forward to it! Be sure to add this book to your reading list or reblog to know when I update!

MOST IMPORTANT NOTE ; ( to those not familiar with the academy series by C.L. Stone )

I know I'm gaining more readers, those who aren't familiar with the academy, so I'll do a short explanation of what you'll be seeing from the academy!

In short, the academy series is a reverse harem/polyamory series set in Charleston, South Carolina.

( so you'll be seeing multiple men date the same women in this book, so don't be shocked lmfaoo )

The academy ( that MFC won't be much involved in ) is basically a top secret organization that specializes in helping men, women, and children who are in an abusive relationship or homes and help them get out of that — most join the academy to help others in the same situations.

There are teams that work together and are basically a family in all but blood; and "family is a choice".

The men in teams are referred to as "dogs" and the female team members are referred to as "birds". 'Ghosts', whether birds or dogs, are children without much history to their names. They are priceless to the Academy.

The Academy's system works on a series of favor and financial debt. Everyone in the Academy starts out with financial debt. It's the value of the education an Academy student requires to become the best at what he does. If it was a private investigation training class or an eight-week boot camp, or you were starving and needed groceries to get through a human biology class, the Academy took care of it. Your debt can't just be paid off directly, it requires completing various Academy missions. Whatever it is, there is a price tag.

Favors though are the real core of the Academy. Favors are anything that doesn't have a price - usually family problems within the Academy that other members can't handle alone. New members owe ten favors immediately, with the maximum owed being thirty. The value of a task in favors varies depending on the task.

All Academy trials are comprised of the same parties: the whole team, plus five randomly selected members from other teams, presided over by a manager who has collected all the data. There is no age minimum for the randomly selected members, the only requirement is that they had to be past initiation and a full member of the Academy. The ultimate goal at a trial is to keep the family together as much as possible.

Each team has two leads. The first is the main contact for the Academy, they track the jobs the members go on, and let them know what jobs are available. The second is the family lead, who keeps track of all the team members, and makes sure that everything runs smoothly for them - ensuring they have food, bills are paid on time, and everyone that needs a job has one.

Most of this information is from the academy wiki site ( 'cause it's fuckin' complicated to explain it all )

but I want you all to be able to understand it enough to enjoy the story without being confused!

Most of the time, I'll explain through River and my other characters.

I hope this makes sense!

River won't be very involved in the academy, but there will be mentions and most of River's story revolves around, not only Jungkook and Moon, but River's brothers, friends, and family!

Please let me know if there is anything that you'll misunderstand and I'll explain to the best of my ability!

- LivelyPotter

#dilf jungkook #jeon jungkook #moonstruck #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #wattpad #jungkook x oc

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rambling-prince-thoughts · 9 months

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there’s been a lot of discussion about logan and roman during the recent sanders sides episodes and for good reason. the two of them have been through so much, with The Sides Need a Nice Day showcasing that they really do deserve break after all the angst.

however, one character that’s also been facing heavy struggles throughout this time is patton. despite being the side that gets listened to most often by thomas, he hasn’t had the most optimal experiences in a while either, especially since the inclusion of janus and remus into the narrative and the events of selfishness vs selflessness.

this post will focus primarily on the events of Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts but will contain references to all the other episodes throughout.

a little background on patton shows us that he is who thomas tends to refer to in order to receive advice on how to be a good person. being the embodiment of morality, patton does seem to hold a standard for the concepts of “good” and “bad”. it’s a very rigid standard and if something doesn’t match accordingly, patton gets uncomfortable and tries to change it.

an obvious example of this would be patton’s reaction to remus in dwit. in a simplified, black and white sense, intrusive thoughts are bad. they’re harmful and the content of these thoughts is negative and unwanted so it makes sense that patton would want to relinquish remus’ hold on thomas immediately.

as a result, patton is also afraid of remus. during his introductory song, remus states that good and bad is “all made up nonsense” because even though he seems to be the “bad” creativity to roman’s “good” creativity, the line that separates both brothers isn’t as fine as it looks.

logan attempts to explain to thomas that life isn’t black and white and the contrast between roman and remus only appears because that’s how thomas visualises them in his mind. to thomas, roman is good because he encompasses the pleasant part of creativity, the part that’s socially acceptable.

on the other hand, remus is what thomas wants to avoid at all costs. therefore remus becomes bad. in the moments before logan’s explanation, patton insists that imagination is good and stresses that roman is creativity, not remus. he’s insistent on driving remus out of the conversation and away from thomas.

patton’s biggest fear is that thomas is a bad person and that he hasn’t accomplished his goal in trying to make thomas the good person he believes him to be. janus’ influence on thomas proved that thomas wasn’t naturally just good, and it created doubt in patton’s mind that was otherwise not there. he assumed thomas was, by all standards, a good person, and having that illusion shatter in front of him has him questioning not only thomas, but also his own actions.

now with the arrival of remus and thomas thinking unpleasant thoughts, that fear has reawakened. at the end of svs, patton did end up getting what he wanted: that thomas go to lee and mary lee’s wedding. he believed it was the best course of action and the most morally good course of action.

in fact, during this episode, logan reveals to everyone that it’s not remus who’s been hurting thomas and disrupting his schedules, but virgil and patton instead.

when patton disagrees with comparing thomas to jeffrey dahmer, he also refuses to set the bar at whether or not thomas has murdered someone, like jeffery dahmer had. but logan points out that patton, of all sides, should know that isn’t where the bar is.

as he goes onto explain, thomas’ upbringing has instilled a strong moral code in him as well as christian values. this explains why morality plays such a huge factor in thomas’ decision making and why he’s so reliant on patton to make his decisions. thomas thinks with his heart, not his head, to make the decisions that are best based on what’s good or bad rather than what’s efficient or rational.

in svs redux, when thomas laments on the fact that he could have just spoken to his friends about skipping their wedding to go to the callback instead, patton is still severely against that thought. skipping the wedding would logically have been the better decision for thomas- he might not get this opportunity again, and as logan mentioned, the wedding only offers thomas a potential spike in depression.

which it did. the only thing thomas got out of the whole situation was a new highscore in word crush and a sense of guilt and regret over everything that happened. not exactly the most ideal rewards for the sacrifice that he made to get there.

however patton tried to convince him that going to the wedding despite all the problems was a good idea because thomas was able to support his friends! it may not have been the rational choice but it was the good choice, the selfless choice. in patton’s world, altruism is purely good and selfishness is purely bad.

that’s why all the examples he gave in svs redux were curated so that thomas would have to make the altruistic choice or risk being a bad person.

now, patton isn’t in this for manipulative means. he is genuinely trying to help thomas given what he knows of situations. thomas’ dependence on him throughout the series has developed him into being an all knowing father figure, who needs to choose the right option so that thomas can do what he needs to without being a bad person. thomas fears being bad, which is why he hides away everything that makes him bad.

while i’m not qualified to talk about christianity or its religious teachings (as i’m not christian), it is interesting to note that patton being the father almost makes him the quintessential god figure.

the father, who thomas must listen to, who knows right from wrong, who decides whether thomas is a good or bad person based on his actions, and the one who can punish him for making the wrong choice. janus is the snake come to trick thomas into sinning, and remus is another dark side whose authority would cause thomas to act and think in ways that are considered wrong.

it’s not unlikely to assume that the reason that thomas’ creativity split in the first place was because morality dictated that there were pleasant and unpleasant thoughts and the distasteful thoughts were repressed and cast aside out of fear that thomas would be punished for having those thoughts.

even though patton didn’t intend it as punishment, him berating thomas all night and trying to force intrusive thoughts out of his mind was chastising. at the end of the episode, patton even stated that thomas had his “permission” to think those thoughts and thomas admitted that it did help to know that.

thomas needed permission from his moral side to be allowed to have intrusive thoughts. because up until then, patton didn’t realise that they were normal and okay to have. he was afraid that they made thomas an evil person simply because they were evil thoughts.

blaming patton for overreacting wouldn’t be right either, because ever since the first sanders sides video he’s been making a genuine effort to help thomas. he is misguided and rigid in his values but he isn’t malicious or deceptive. when logan said that virgil was the one who caused thomas to stay up all night, it didn’t surprise either patton or remus, given that virgil was anxiety and his reaction made sense.

but when logan said that it was also patton, remus seemed to be genuinely surprised and patton turned to look at logan with a stunned expression.

he couldn’t believe that he was the one who had been making thomas feel bad about himself, and moreover he hadn’t been listening to thomas when thomas insisted time and again that he didn’t like having these thoughts and that he wasn’t enticed by what remus was saying. this is patton realising that despite his best efforts, he was ultimately causing thomas to have persistent difficulties grappling with who he was and why he felt like he couldn’t be a good person.

in patton’s constant struggle to prove thomas’s goodness, he put thomas up on a pedestal that was impossible to escape because it required him to be as altruistic as patton assumed was the norm for a good person, even if that goal was unreasonable or for some reason unattainable.

our lord of the lies said it himself when he berated patton for misleading thomas.

as janus put it, patton wasn’t capable of misleading thomas. his intentions were sincere and he wanted to help thomas the way that he’s always helped him. but morality isn’t the same for adults as it is for children. when thomas was a child, things were easier. kids are more easily swayed by the effects of good and bad than adults are, simply because ethics for a child aren’t as nuanced as they can be for adults.

thomas depended on patton because according to him, patton has never steered him in the wrong direction and so he’s certain that for every decision, if he consults patton, he can end up making the right choice. that has worked for most of his life because as a kid, he made simple choices. ones that didn’t involve the level of critical thought that they now do.

so in trying to be that rock for thomas, patton has given himself the power to know and decide what he thinks is best by weighing the options as good or bad. it’s a terrible scale, but the only one he knows. so when thomas starts to listen more to suggestions from janus or roman where he might end up doing the wrong thing— such as lying to his friends about why he’s skipping the wedding— patton immediately puts his foot down. he won’t let thomas do that.

this isn’t helpful. while there is effort, it’s clear that this approach has been hurting thomas more than helping him. patton keeps trying to do the right thing but that’s only possible if thomas’ mental health is balanced but with everything that’s happened, thomas is hanging on by a thread and patton can’t see that.

the plane is already crashing. now is the time to take a step back and focus on himself.

even patton ended up having a crisis over what to do, which caused him to become lilypadton. he thought he had everything figured out. he thought he had all the answers. but he doesn’t. and this strikes him during a moment when logan (janus in disguise, but patton doesn’t know that) tells him that he’s forcing thomas to risk his own life and health for other people.

suddenly, patton doesn’t know what’s right. he just knows what he wants to be right. and thomas, who has depended on him all his life, is looking to him for help but he doesn’t trust patton as much as he used to anymore and patton lost his chance to make up for his knee jerk reactions in svs and dwit.

he crumbles under that pressure. he’s really pushing to make things right, and his principles conflict with that. like thomas, who in dwit couldn’t accept that he was having intrusive thoughts because his own principles stated that having these thoughts was bad, patton too wants to make everything better but he isn’t able to do that because there’s a disconnect between what he thinks is right and what is actually helpful to thomas.

patton looks to janus for help, because now it’s janus who’s giving the advice. thomas is listening to him. the plane crash was patton’s fault, but janus has pulled thomas out of the rubble.

he thinks he’s bad for thomas. he has tried his best to help, but none of it has worked. in the end, he was part of the problem. he apologised to thomas in svs for being dishonest, he apologised in dwit for his reactions and he has to apologise again in svs redux for lashing out and being too pushy. how many times can he say sorry before it loses meaning? how many times can he say sorry before he admits to himself that he’s just bad for thomas?

hopefully patton can figure out a balance between knowing what is right and helping thomas figure out what is best for him before the orange side is revealed to us, because as @rataticaisdreaming pointed out in one of my previous posts, if patton continues to disapprove of what he thinks is wrong, it might cause a remus 2.0 situation. especially if orange has influence over logan, and patton makes logan feel guilt over it.

overall, i do think patton has been making a steady improvement. his attempt to reconnect with logan and help him is sweet, and he really does fix his mistake when he figures out that he’s been rushing and needs to chill out. this isn’t the first time logan has told patton to chill. but it is the first that patton has listened to him and actively slowed down.

i have hope for patton. i always will.

#sanders sides #rambling prince thoughts #patton sanders #patton angst #sanders sides analysis #patton might have been a little too much #but he’s getting to a better place #and i am proud of him #hopefully now things can work out a little better #i love his little ‘i did it!’ at the end of his scenes with logan #truly shows that patton is trying #we love him for it <3

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akariamai · 11 months

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Reunited

Part 1

Pairing: Joel Miller x soldier!reader

Word Count: 1286

Night terrors terrorized your mind at every waking moment, daydreams turned into nightmares. It began with the dreadful order that fateful night, an order to kill without a single thought of the innocent family desperately searching for help, and the death of Jeffery. You could still hear the loud report of the gun firing followed by the sound of his body falling limp onto the ground. The frightened screech from the young girl in the arms of her father and the pleas of a powerless father. They tormented you within your dreams and loomed over you in your waking moments. It became a never-ending cycle.

A more recent memory loomed over your nightmares. It came in the form of another order, one you could not escape or defy, stuck in your attempts to pretend. The rationale behind the order was devastatingly correct but morally wrong. It came in the form of a massacre of the innocent. A tale of a quarantine zone filled to the brim, without the need of more mouths to feed, and blood soaked the Earth. The dead cannot be infected, a saying your commanding officers used to justify their horrific decisions. Your heart broke as you watched the light of the children’s eyes dim into nothingness. You were killing your soul for the sake of the military, not for the sake of the people.

The reflection inside the mirror showed you someone unrecognizable and tainted. Your once bright eyes gradually lost their spark. Your hands were dripping in red and the pistol, sitting on the sink, became a comforting thought with every passing moment. A squeeze of the trigger will grant you the kiss of death. A blissful ending to a person not worthy of living.

Your thoughts grew dark and grim the longer your eyes nestled upon your reflection. Guilt and sorrow followed you like a helpless child. Dependent on you and your sadness. You cradled the gun briefly before stuffing it away from your sight. A bullet to the head would be wasteful. This world did not permit being wasteful. You take one more glance at your reflection before making your way out of the room.

You slowly made your way through the semi-empty halls of your personal hell. Brief eye contact and respectful nods were the only source of socialization. Guns held closely, suspicions rose heavily, and each moment your comrades waited for someone to be reborn as the monsters they’ve witnessed for several weeks.

Disgust pooled in your stomach, threatening to burst out onto the spotless floor, as the familiar feeling that came before vomiting neared. You were once proud of taking the blunt end of the world for the people who lived in your country. All the pride you once felt was stripped away the moment your bullets hit innocent men, women, and children. All who counted on you to direct them to a quarantine zone but instead were killed mercilessly. In a blink of an eye, you had become a monster you once fought to end. But your commanding officers, your fellow comrades, and yourself did not protect the innocent instead killed those who just wanted asylum inside the walls of the quarantine zone.

You knew, in your heart, you could not stay. You’d rather take on the sickness that purged the world rather than continuing to stain your hands red. If death awaited you, so be it, you would welcome it like an old friend you had yearned to meet again.

You waited patiently for the sun to set before making your move. You managed to steal rations of food, several bottles of water, a couple of reusable pads, unraveled toilet paper, a sleeping bag, a map, a pistol with a case of bullets, and a hunting knife. You needed to travel light if you wanted to escape undetected from the quarantine zone. You heard whispers about the rules that would soon be enforced, any person to be caught leaving or entering the quarantine zone without authorization would be put to death, and while you did not care to die, you’d rather it be out in the new world.

You crept out of your room and evaded the guards posted inside and outside the quarantine. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness that surrounded you. Your body preparing to fight the monsters that reigned over the once bountiful city with every unknown sound. It would be a difficult journey to survive but you could not live confined within those walls and forced to become a stranger to yourself.

You walked for miles without resting, occasionally taking a glance at the map from time to time, roaming in one direction aimlessly. You had no destination. No person waiting for you. You were alone in a semi-familiar world. You had little food and water. Little knowledge of the disease that rained havoc over humanity. All you had was yourself and your thoughts.

You found shelter in a recently ransacked house with a white picket fence and large yard. You almost laughed at the irony that the notion of the house represented a dream no more. It was worthless unless it could keep the monsters away. Provide shelter from a dying world.

Once you picked the room you would rest in for the night, you moved several large pieces of furniture to barricade the already locked door. Rather than sleep on the floor, you instead walked towards the closet to see if it was big enough to house your size. You removed your sleeping bag from your backpack and laid it on the floor of the closet. The backpack itself would serve as a headrest and your pistol would lay next to you. You laid down, slightly cramped, and shut the closet door. You willed yourself to sleep.

The days began to blend as one as you pushed yourself to survive in a harsh new environment. Surviving was all you could do as the world you once knew was gone. You found yourself at odds with the infected for brief moments but escaped unscathed. There have been a few close calls, moments of vulnerability and weakness, but you had somehow prevailed.

You filtered the dirty river water through a handmade filtering device, created by scraps found in several homes you ransacked, before storing it into a hydro flask. As you continued to filter more river water, a loud panicked yell caught your attention.

“Tommy!” The voice, you thought, could only be described as distraught.

“Uncle Tommy!” Another voice filled the air. This one was more panicked than the last.

You gathered your gun and hunting knife before bursting towards the people. You know it could be a trap. A violent end to a broken soul and yet, you did not care. If you could save another person, it would be a worthy death. If it is indeed a trap, then you would no longer have to live with the guilt of the injustices you had committed.

Three infected were slowly becoming too much for the group of survivors. There were only three, two men and a young girl, and they were slowly becoming overpowered. Bodies of other infected laid bare on the ground. You pulled the trigger thrice, allowing the bodies of the dead to drop, and they all stared at you with awe and slight fear.

All four of you waiting for the pin to drop. For the other party to indicated, even slightly, if they were friend or foe. While you had saved them, they were right to be skeptical. You were a stranger to them, an unknown, with unidentified intentions. The staring match went on until the young girl recognized you.

“It’s you.” The girl gasped.

Masterlist

Tags: @lustfulseonghwa

#joel miller #joel x reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #sarah miller tlou #the last of us #the last of us tv series #the last of us show #tommy miller #joel miller x soldier!reader #soldier!reader #pedro pascal

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dia-smthidk · 2 months

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People: “I dunno what the reds did wrong”

Hmm… first off, their a mafia, so a lotta stuff happened that is terrible morally, and second off let’s think about how their the rivals of the aces, what are some horrible things that have happened to the aces? Oh let’s just say people may have lost body parts, and who would want to harm the aces? Probably the people that go against them… hmmmm… no idea what they would’ve done wrong 🤷

…but seriously, aside from the main thing of them being the reason Jeffery doesn’t have a leg, their also a mob, so like… mob activities in general

The Reds are not ppl to mess with

#sona mafia au #mafia of the reds #mafia diamond #dia’s art #dia-asks

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astroprompts · 1 year

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✧ — 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒

“It’s not that bad, I can explain.”

“It’s not what it looks like... But it might be worse.”

“What you need to understand is that moose aren’t afraid of anything.”

“To be fair, when you can walk on water like moose christ and cripple cars, there’s not gonna be a lot of things that put fear in your heart.”

“When a moose decides to choose violence, only two things can save you; Jesus Christ and the Moosiah himself.”

“First of all, why would you ever put yourself in a position where you need to know any of this?”

“If you’re dumb enough to do that, you might as well just let natural selection do it’s thing.”

“Gorillas don’t usually attack anything that seems weaker than they are, which gives them more of a moral compass than high school bullies.”

“Are you serious? Did you really think I was gonna have actual advice here?”

“If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, get on the ground. If it’s white... You’re gonna die.”

“One uppercut, and he/she/they’re sending your jaw to Jerusalem with no return trip.”

“Evolution made humans smart enough to put a man on the moon, but it also made chimps swole enough to put a man on the news.”

“Be sure to save me a seat at heaven’s dining hall.”

"What makes you think they’ll go easy on you?”

“You think I’m exaggerating?”

“They’re built like a Toyota with the personality of Jeffery Dahmer.”

“Cocaine hippos are something the world doesn’t need to deal with.”

“Cougars are not to be taken lightly.”

“Humans are an evolutionary failure, because we can’t seem to run away from anything.”

“Unless you’re a gay hillbilly redneck with a Netflix series, I don’t see how you could ever possibly need this.”

“Disrespecting a tiger is really bad for your health.”

“Do not turn your back on a grizzly bear.”

“Unless your last name is De Caprio, there is no award for getting assaulted by a grizzly.”

“Not only are you gonna feel real stupid, you’re also gonna die.”

“If an elephant decides it wants to hurt you, there isn’t a force in nature that can save you.”

“Basically we’re dealing with a coked-up weasel with really bad roid rage.”

“They have no moral compass, no conscience, and no remorse.”

“If I have to be cursed with this knowledge, so do you.”

“Ducks are cancelled.”

“Ducks answer to no god.”

“How do you want to die?”

“I’d honestly rather get insta-killed by a tiger than dissected by a polar bear.”

“He’ll destroy my way of life, but at least I’ll have a life to live.”

“Can we please acknowledge the fact that the platypus makes no sense as an animal?”

“I should probably explain what the hell that was.”

“They’re found in South Africa and Australia, but they also own a good amount of real estate in my nightmares.”

“Can’t call it simping if it works.”

“The more you look at it, the worse it gets.”

“If someone handed you $100,000, no strings attached, what would be your first move?”

“Unconditional love might sound cute, but in nature, it is very much conditional.”

“I already don’t trust pelicans off principle.”

“It’s survival of the fittest, and there is no award for participation.”

“Somewhere a middle child just shed a single, silent tear.”

“Imagine having an older sister whose primary purpose in life is making sure you don’t have one.”

“If ‘men ain’t shit’ was an animal, it would be the hyena.”

“When you’re that good for that long, eventually time is gonna catch up to you.”

“Life is a brutal reality show where life is all about getting renewed to the next season.”

“Few animals have a worse PR team than hyenas.”

“I pay way too much for contacts for you to lie to me about what’s in front of my face.”

“Time for 50 shades of fuck around and find out.”

#rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters #dialogue prompt #casual geographic

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cavinginhisfvce · 1 year

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can i just say how crazy it is that ppl sympathize with JEFFERY DAHMER, support him AND genuinely believe be was a good person when he killed and ate people of color, but BILLY and his stans are the just the worst right?

billy is somehow worse than the man who consumed black folks, and other pocs, some of whom were under 18, right???

i say this bc on twt i saw a billy anti literally excusing jeffery dahmer for his actions and saying he was just a sad lonely boy.

not real billy hargrove is worse than the very real threat that existed and was killed for his crimes in prison bc people could not fathom how he acted in light of his crimes??? the man made jokes about his crimes, fashioned severed limbs from meals and used ketchup for blood knowing damn everyone was DISGUSTED with him. He had FANS sending him letters and MONEY.

but billy stans, we like a fictional man, whose never actually harmed a fucking person, but we get attacked and shit. our morals are constantly being bought into question bc we enjoy the complex nature of him. we can't like a character who spent his childhood being abused and forced to take care of his step sister, who we saw never had a chance to grow, so we give him that. we saw a boy whose mother left him with a monster of a father and he eventually turned into a version of himself he so clearly hated.

he didn't find joy in beating up steve, nor did he seem happy to have scared the kids.

"hEs RaCiSt" it was the 80s, most white people were racist or intolerant. not to mention, ur only argument that he's racist has too many holes bc of what we know about his father (ignore it all you want, but even max knew her step dad was racist) we know his father is VIOLENT as hell, and he never wanted that to fall onto max.

but the weirdos, who stan jeffery dahmer are just allowed to exist in peace?? i see them on EVERY social media app and ive not seen one of them be attacked the way folks dogpile on billy stans.

i can't write fanfics abt a person who doesn't actually exist and whose actions literally never happened bc hes FAKE, but you all can make posts like "jeffrey dahmer as ur boyfriend tehehehe"

oh man go FUCK urself.

#billy antis dni #billy hargrove #billy hargrove deserved better #billy hargrove protection squad #harringrove #fuck u if u hate billy hargrove #im kissing ur nose if u love billy #tw: jeffrey dahmer #tw: mentions of cannibalism

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zhiroaesthetics · 3 months

Text

Writing Commissions 🔛🔝

I want to write more, but I lost all the outlines that I created in the past two years, in which most of them I had started their drafts. Naturally, my morale tanked, but I don’t want for that to stop me on the path to consistency. So I’m opening commissions, yippe!

Pricing $0.02/word; 500 words minimum. (500=$10, 1000=$20, 1500=$30, 2000=$40, etc.)

Type SFW and NSFW Pairings written in Second/Third Person. Most flexible with F(Reader)/M and F(Reader)/F. Open to OC/Canon. Least flexible with Male Reader/Focus and Genderfluid/Non-binary Reader/Focus. I don’t do Canon/Canon or M/M.

Series If they’re not present then it’s more than likely because I’d write a character from the series as opposed to anything from the series (i.e. Raging Loop, 91 Days, Mononoke) so just ask about a character if their series isn’t present.

Gacha Games

Fate/Grand Order

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Langrisser (My ability to do the request depends on me having the character due to a lack of online material and the inability to backread)

Granblue Fantasy (I like enough of the cast to speedrun side stories to understand plot references/setting)

Arknights (I don’t play the game but I have two friends that do and I don’t mind annoying them about context. NGL it’s here because I pray for a Chongyue request-)

Fire Emblem Heroes (I can’t do anything story specific because I never read it)

Video Games

Fire Emblem (Awakening, Fates, knowledgeable about Sacred Stones and Engage)

King of Fighters

Anime/Manga

Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)

Chainsaw Man (Manga - Part One)

Jigokuraku (Manga)

Record of Ragnarok (Manga)

Black Lagoon (Anime)

Baccano (Anime, Light Novels – 1-5)

Considerations

Communication. I have a computer science background, so I take everything literally and my mind blanks at “idk, do whatever you want”.

My Writing Approach. People talk a lot in my stories and though I do it to showcase dynamics, I also do it to pace myself. To prevent overlap and incoherency, I significantly limit my reliance on exposition. I rarely start my stories with it, and I will more than likely write in media res if the requested word cap is on the shorter side.

Expressing Limitations. No does not mean that the idea is bad or that you should be ashamed, but that I don’t feel confident in being able to properly execute it.

Hard Limitations. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone that is on Jeffery Epstein’s flight list, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone who wouldn’t mind posting it on Live Leaks, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone who would wave around a confederate flag, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by a dark humor connoisseur, then please don’t request. I’m also very big on boundaries and trust, so please don’t request ideas with the following elements:

Rape/Non-Con

Drugging

Kidnapping

Payment ko-fi.com/zhiro

Delivery PDF in 12 pt Times New Roman. I’ll post (via ao3) if requested.

Process Please do not request for a commission if you’re uncomfortable with sending money before receiving the commission. Only send the payment once I confirm that I will be writing the commission; I will refund otherwise. It takes 1-3 months for me to finish works, and I’ll do my best in sending a progress report/the premise seven days after confirmation. My drafts are pretty messy, so I won’t be showing them, but I’ll give updates throughout. Please do not request for a commission if you’re dubious about the process.

References archiveofourown.org/users/zhiro/pseuds/Araceli%20Selkie

If any of the above changes, I’ll post the update and edit this post. Thank you for taking your time to read this. Please consider commissioning me, I like to think I’m decent enough.

#writing #commissions open #writing commissions #anime #gacha games #video games #zhiro comms

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wc-confessions · 1 year

Note

why do we have to get so angry over certain characters in the books? Like- I'm not acting like I haven't, I definitely have been in way too fights over Mapleshade and Reedshine. //Reedshine is baby, I love her//

but at the end of the day, why are we assuming people support murder irl because they like a villain? Like- why do we get so angry over these things? It's not like a Mapleshade fan is kinning Jeffery Dahmer.

why do we assume people who like Crowfeather or Nightcloud support abuse???

Like- what happened to just disagreeing quietly? Like I don't mind discussions that don't involve screeching insults at the person.

Sure I'm a hypocrite, I know everyone has been to hell and back to defend a character for no reason. But why over CAT BOOKS?

I think it's because there's people like me - who like arguing for fun and see it as a way of engaging in critical thinking, and people who are arguing out of moral obligation. For me arguing abt fictional characters forces me to re-examine my morals and ethics and double check if I'm letting my upbringing cloud my judgement.

For other people, morals and ethics are something stagnant so for them the point is to win the argument. They think that's the moral thing to do, to convince someone to share the same value system that they do. (sometimes this has to do with ethnocentrism, the idea that your culture's values are inherently superior to another's culture, you might see this with some sections of the community being apologetic to misogyny)

Some people can also just be very emotional about a series that they grew up with and don't like it when someone goes against the story's narrative, because it's heavily influenced their worldview.

There's a lot of different reasons, but whats important is to remember the people who hurl insults are still people too at the end of the day. - Admin Cloudnettle

#i think abt this a lot haha #im getting an associates in psych and took an ethics class #so i think abt why fandom spaces get so toxic a lot #confession #warriors #wc #warrior cats

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demona-andariel · 9 months

Text

Object of Obsession - 8 / 46

Fandom: Halloween

Pairing: Michael Myers x OFC

Summary: In Haddonfield everyone knows the legend that was Michael Myers. Content and at ease, they’d forgotten what it was to feel fear in the month of October. But now, he finds himself back and ready for blood but then a bond forms between him and one of his victims. A bond he can’t seem to break. And it starts to make him do things he never thought of doing before.

Warnings: (Encompassing the whole story in no particular order) kidnapping, noncon, explicit sexual content, smut, loss of virginity, rough sex, blood and violence, knifeplay, canon-typical violence

Author Note: Minors DNI!

Word Count: 3,042

Chapter 8 - A Little Walk, A Little Talk

“Could you get me some camomile tea bags?” Her request as well as her name kept running through his brain. Gretchen. He never thought about her name. Why would he? He didn’t have friends, wouldn’t talk about her, wouldn’t talk to her. If she thought he’d whisper sweet words, or talk dirty to her she was delusional. And yet, he now knew her name. Not that it mattered, it didn’t change things between them.

The sensation of being watched brought him out of his musings. He followed the feeling till his focus landed on a treehouse in the backyard of the house across from where he was stalking. His breathing deepened as his eyes stared back intently at the person who was watching him.

A little boy stared back at him wide-eyed with terror “safe” in his little treehouse. Michael felt amused. Even from afar, he could feel the kid’s rightful fear. His breathing deepened in anticipation as he squeezed the handle of his knife. His brain perked up with excitement, feeding off the kid’s fear.

He wasn’t going to kill the kid. It wasn’t a moral thing. There was just no need. Their fear was easy, and they weren’t much of a chase, much of a game.

“Jeff? Jeff! Where are you?” a woman’s voice shouted.

Michael kept his eyes locked on the little boy who seemed petrified with fear. Was he holding something? Some sort of child’s weapon as comfort, perhaps? How amusing

“Jeffery Sean Amelaner!” the woman yelled as she stormed over to the treehouse.

The moment the kid broke eye contact Michael moved. He watched in fascination from another part of the property, just out of the woman’s sight, but still with a good view of the two.

“Mommy!” the boy cried out as he practically jumped from the treehouse into his mother’s arms.

“Jesus, Jeffery!” she coughed, staggering in an attempt to find her balance.

The child whispered something in her ear, making her swiftly turn around. Her eyes scanned the darkness, looking for Michael. Her arms tightly protectively over her son’s body as she took cautious steps back, making her she was on the lookout for possible danger. How amusing.

She let the boy down and opened the back sliding door. He rushed inside. She didn’t move as quickly. Scanning the darkness for the threat. A crooked smile crossed his lips. She would make an interesting target. Judging by her body language alone she was a fighter. She’d give a good chase. Perhaps another day.

He made a mental note of her house, marking it in his mind to return to before strolling away, into the darkness. He huffed.

“I hope you don’t get to kill anyone today,” her hurried last-minute statement followed by the slam of her door almost made him go to her room for an “apology”. But the killer part in him pulled him away from the house and her. Who was he to deny his other desire? She wasn’t going anywhere. He’d punish her when he got back.

Michael paused beside another house and examined his knife. There was blood on it, but not of a person. He’d killed a dog. He planned to kill the owner, and he had to get the dog out of the way. But the moment the dog was dead he heard a siren. It didn’t frighten him, he had no problem trying to deal with the police. But it made him think, which caused him to wander.

His killing spree was always cut short by meddling do-gooders. And, although it wasn’t a big deal before now he wasn’t quite yet prepared to disappear. He had no idea how things worked and he didn’t need to know. But, if he disappeared she would be “free” of him. He could already see himself returning, stalking, and finding her. Years would have passed and she’d probably be married, and have a family and she wouldn’t want him.

He licked his lips. No, he wasn’t quite yet ready for her to leave his life yet. She’d swallowed his cum without him even forcing her to. It was all on her. She could have spat his cum out to show her disgust, could have glared at him. But her eyes were bright with mischief as she swallowed before they widened in surprise. Why did she do that? It made him rather curious. And he wanted to see her do it again.

Her initiative only confirmed what his mind was suspecting. She wanted him. She kept fighting it, which amused him. But, the way she clutched onto his arm when he slipped his fingers through her labia. It wasn’t to stop him but to hold on. That look she gave him when she leaned back, pressing her body against him, it was a silent begging for him not to stop. She was so slick. He wanted to throw her over his shoulder and carry her up to her room so he could lick her with ease. But, that would require him taking off his mask.

He paused, bringing up his right hand. Much like his recollection of every kill he had made, he could vividly recall her inner wall feeling as he explored her with his fingers. He had been curious, testing how long would it take her to last on her tip-toes before she relented to having his finger in her. It didn’t last nearly as long as he thought it would. But then again, the way she moved and acted, the look in her eyes, it should have told him what was going to happen. And, in the back of his mind he knew. He was just mesmerized. Her muscles tensing, her pussy spasming around his fingers, he needed to know what that felt like around his cock.

There was a bit of curiosity why she wanted the lube. He did rather enjoy the feeling of her hand and how it moved with the lube clearly helping her when she stroked his shaft. He didn’t regret putting some on before fucking her again. The slide-in was amazingly easy and smooth. The unfortunate thing was he didn’t get her to spasm over his cock. But he wasn’t worried, he was able to easily reach his end, maybe next time. There was no rush.

A high pitch whistling sound interrupted his thoughts. He paused in his steps, easily spotting the annoyance. A woman picked up a teapot from a stove and set it to one side. Her movements were easy to follow from the big window she stood in front of. A man, more than likely her husband or boyfriend, snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, making her shriek and then laugh in happiness before they kissed.

He huffed, moving away from that scene. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. He cocked his head as a curious thought ran through his mind. Focus. It took him some time before he finally made it back to the original site. He stilled, pausing in the exact spot he stood in where he had spied the two in the car. There were no cars in Lover’s Lane, no lovers having sex, their lucky day to have avoided him. She probably would consider it her unlucky day.

Little did she know that her car was in his possession. He had it safely hidden away for his use. Unless she assumed since he did give her back her duffle bag that was stored in her car. He didn't need a car, it was just a convenience for him, not something he would use often. He rather liked walking.

He leisurely walked around the scene, although there were no clear markings. His brain was sufficient enough. He huffed. She had accidentally pushed her would-be-lover toward his doom. The young man had been caught unawares and didn’t really put up much of a fight. Instead of trying to fight Michael off, the young man had desperately grabbed at Gretchen as she tried to help him back into the car.

Sure, Michael had surprised the young man, but his fear was his undoing, petrifying him. Michael could still feel his knife easily slide into the man’s chest. A smaller version of the satisfying high and ecstasy that he had received from that kill coursed through his body. He wasn’t sure why. The young man didn’t put up much of a fight. His fake knight’s armor just added to the feeling of disgust at what a simple kill it was. But his enjoyment was almost extra special, extra satisfying.

And then there was Gretchen. She ran kicking in his chase instincts, she fought back despite her fear. She continued to fight back, although her fighting back now was a bit different in nature. His small smile at the enjoyment of their game slipped a little.

Unfortunately, she’d done something he hadn’t seen yet and it bothered him. After fucking her, knowing even she had thoroughly enjoyed herself, her mood had changed. She’d gone from the fighter and resister to almost a shell of her own being. He didn’t like it. And he didn’t know what had brought that on. But for the briefest of moments, his killer side perked up. His knife, so close behind her, easy to grab, easy to use. Seeing the sudden flare of anger burn in her eyes when he touched her cheeks appeased him. She was still a fighter, still a resister, and still wouldn’t make it easy for him, not the broken shell that had momentarily taken over her.

A smell caught his attention. Michael turned around and headed into the woods. He didn’t have to go very far. The strong smell of a decomposing body permeated the air. He paused then crouched, far enough away for the smell not to overpower him, but close enough to see. No one had found the young man yet. It wasn’t that Michael had hidden the body particularly well either. His goal in dumping the body into the woods was just to give him a little bit of extra time to kill people before all hell broke loose. But, he had expected the body to be found already. Did anyone even miss him? Did anyone miss her? Did she have a family? He frowned.

He didn’t care. So what if she had a family? They wouldn’t find her, and if they did he’d only get her back. He had no problem killing her family the same way he’d killed her boyfriend. She was his now.

Idiot, he thought as he stood up and left the body in the forest. How could a small thing like her put up more of a fight than her strong, fit boyfriend?

The scars on Gretchen’s-

Michael stilled as her name popped into his head. Gretchen. His breathing deepened. No. Do not think it.

The scars on her stomach, the ones not made by him, were bad but extremely attractive. It just proved that she was a fighter. She’d survived something that clearly had been traumatic. Traumatic enough to make her self-conscious about them. Sure, they weren't made by him, but he still liked them. Maybe it was because of the way she fought back when touched them. Her resistance. Yeah, he liked that about her. The little things he kept discovering while dealing with her kept adding more locks to the door that would have freed her from him.

The sun started to peak out, and his body pulled him back home. Damn, it was a long way back. The last time he'd gone home he had used her car. Oh well, she wasn't going anywhere.

Nathan paced back and forth in his apartment, the sun was barely rising but he was wide awake. What was wrong with her? It was as if she purposefully decided to leave no trace as to where she’d gone. Her bank account hadn’t been touched other than the monthly withdrawals to pay her rent and utilities to her apartment in Chicago. At least she would have been kind enough to forward her mail to her new address. Nope! She hadn’t forwarded it anywhere. She’d put a hold on her mail. Three months. Three full months had passed since she’d done it.

His eyes shifted to his cellphone. He needed to call his father. He didn’t want to. Her phone had started going to voicemail shortly after he visited her apartment. His father would soon call him because of that. He preferred the thought that she had blocked him over her being in trouble. He rubbed his left shoulder. She wasn’t dead. He knew that. She was too stubborn to die. Denial. God, she was good at that. She could probably deny her way back to life. Just refuse to believe she was dead.

He glanced at his cellphone again. It had only been two days since he’d contacted his “friends” to find her. As much as he wanted results quickly enough, he knew it took time. “Just hang on, Gretch,” he mumbled, although he wasn’t entirely sure she was in trouble. A part of him still hoped she’d found someone and just wanted to fuck him in peace or something before reappearing as if nothing had happened.

Her twenty-third birthday was coming up. And whether she liked it or not, he was going to find her before then. She had to have said something before she “disappeared”. A clue, somewhere. There were hundreds of Brandons in the world and it would take some time to find the face to match her drawing. Getting the last known location for her cellphone was still in the works. He had some strings, but not nearly as many as his father did.

“Fuck, Gretch. Where’d you go?” he growled. He shifted through her mail, tossing the spam letters onto the ground. His body grew cold when he saw a familiar package. “Shit, fuck, shit! Please, Gretch. Don’t let this be what I think it is.” He tentatively reached out and picked up the package. Tapping it with his fingers for a moment, he willed himself to open it, dumping out the contents onto the table.

“Fuck! Gretchen!” he yelled at nothing. A very familiar pill bottle landed on the table. He picked up the full three months' worth of medication with his left hand shaking his head. She had to have expected to return back home before running out. She knew how important it was for her to take them. She could get away with taking one a day for a short while, but if she quit, stopped altogether, she would lose her god-damn fucking mind.

He absentmindedly rubbed his left shoulder with his right hand as a throbbing pain pulsed through it. What if she’d already lost her mind? Bringing his right hand down, he tapped his fingers on the table.

“Fuck,” he whispered again. He needed to involve his father. He didn’t want to. He was going to be so pissed. But he had better connections than Nathan. He’d be able to find her quickly if she somehow wound up in a mental hospital for being such an idiot. She always complained about the pills, hating them, saying she didn’t feel right. But she had to take them.

Grabbing his cellphone, he dialed his father’s number and held the phone up to his ear. He steeled himself. There was no going back. His father needed to know.

“Hello, Nathan,” his father answered. Fuck! He knew. The tone of his voice already had a firmness to it.

“Hey, dad,” he replied, hating how soft his own voice was. He felt like a small child about to be reprimanded.

“Where is she?”

Despite preparing himself, Nathan still felt chills run through his body. “I… I don’t know,” he replied. “I just found out a couple days ago. I’ve been sending my guys out. But, she did a really good job of practically disappearing. Only real clue I got is this drawing she made of a guy named Brandon. I’ll send you a copy.”

“Okay,” his father replied. “Anything else?”

“It’s been three months,” Nathan said. He felt like a failure.

His father let out a heavy sigh. “Alright, well, I know I talked to her a little over a week ago, and she was alright then.”

“Same,” Nathan said in agreement.

“Anything else?”

Nathan stared at the full bottle of pills. “Yeah,” he finally admitted. “I’ve got a full bottle of her pills in my hand.”

There was a long pause before his father let out a heavy sigh.

“You don’t think-” Nathan started to ask, but his father interrupted him.

“You know she’s done this once before, Nate,” his father said with another heavy sigh. “I’ll search hospitals. Do you have an idea of where she has gone?”

Nathan shook his head, even though his father couldn’t see him. “Not yet,” he said. “I’ve got my contacts on it.”

“Good.” The way he said it made Nathan frown. He wasn’t sure why.

“I’ll let you know if I find her in a hospital so you can go to her with her pills.”

“Okay,” Nathan replied. “I’ll let you know if I find her, or at least what city or town she could have gone to.”

“Alright,” his father said.

Nathan’s shoulder sagged slightly. “Sorry, dad.” The words slipped out before he could stop them.

“It’s alright, son,” his father replied. “Last time we were able to stop her. This time we weren’t so lucky. I’m sure it won’t happen again.”

He nodded in agreement even though his father couldn’t see him.

“Check her apartment again, Nate. She’s pretty good at hiding things when she wants to.”

“Well, her apartment was pretty empty, but I’ll give it another thorough check.” He shifted uncomfortably as a small silence engulfed their conversation. “Don’t worry, dad. We’ll find her alive.”

“I know,” his father replied. “She’s too stubborn to die.”

They both let out a pained chuckle.

“I’m going to make my calls now. Goodbye, son. Love you.”

“Bye, dad. Love you, too.” Nathan set his cellphone on the table and stared at the pills again. He should have called his father the moment he found out she was missing. He had wasted two days. “We’re going to find you soon, Gretchen,” he said, clenching the bottle. “You’ll be okay.”

Chapter 9 - Dining Room Chat

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heavenboy09 · 2 months

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15 Years Ago Today

On March 6th, 2009

WARNER BROS PICTURES

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WHO

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HAPPY 15TH ANNIVERSARY TO WARNER BROS PICTURES & DC COMICS

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mariacallous · 2 months

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That violent nullity James Bond having long outlived his creator, it has fallen to an interesting gang of alpha novelists and superhacks to keep him busy: since the death of Ian Fleming in 1964, more than 20 new Bond books have been written. The latest of them, Jeffery Deaver’s Carte Blanche, was published this year, and as recently as 2008, Bond nuts were solemnly delighted—or I was, anyway—by Sebastian Faulks’s even-better-than-the-real-thing novel, Devil May Care, which featured a partially lobotomized lead goon and a villain with a main de singe,or “monkey hand” (hairy wrist, non-opposable thumb).

Perhaps the most rewarding of the pseudo-Flemings, however, has been Kingsley Amis, whose Colonel Sun appeared in 1968 under the nom de plume Robert Markham. Amis’s Bond, while retaining the familiar psychopath’s obsession with menus, tailoring, and branded goods—“Bond almost felt relaxed, finding the charcoal-grilled lamb cutlets with bitter local spinach very acceptable”—is also a suspiciously Kingsley-esque conservative, deploring newly built houses and the rise of a “vast undifferentiated culture, one complex of super-highways, hot-dog stands and neon … stretching from Los Angeles to Jerusalem.” Amis would maintain a fierce moral allegiance to 007. Decades later, upon learning that John le Carré had described Bond as an “ideal defector” and “the ultimate prostitute,” he vented in a letter to Philip Larkin: le Carré’s comment was a “piece of bubbling dogshit,” he wrote, adding that he preferred Bond to the “dull fuckers” of le Carré’s own fiction.

George Smiley, le Carré’s enduring gift to the literature of espionage, is, of course, the anti-Bond. Across the sequence of novels in which he appears, peripherally or centrally, this secret servant of Her Majesty (like Bond, he works for British Intelligence, known in le Carré world as “the Circus”) is discreet to the point of self-erasure. Bureaucratically dowdy, rarely spotted in the field, a dull fucker by both instinct and training, Smiley drops no one-liners, romances no tarot-card readers, roars no speedboats through the Bayou. Bond has his ultraviolence and his irresistibility, his famous “comma of black hair”; Smiley has his glasses, his habit of cleaning them with the fat end of his tie, and not much else. There is a cultivated blandness to him, a deliberate vagueness of outline that at times recalls G. K. Chesterton’s Father Brown—the little priest’s alertness to sin replaced, in Smiley’s case, by an extraordinary memory and a profound knowledge of “tradecraft.” Smiley is also a cuckold of near-mythic proportions: his wife, the glamorous and rarely-at-home Lady Ann, seems to sleep with everybody but him. (She has doubtless slept at least once with James Bond: he’s just her type.) When John le Carré dies, there will be no pseudo–le Carrés, rotating the clichés of Smileydom through their potboilers. Not only is le Carré more or less inimitable—less imitable, certainly, than Ian Fleming, whose style was essentially that of a school bully with a typewriter—but Smiley himself is too elusive a creature to be captured by any pen other than that of his creator.

News late last year of a movie adaptation of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy—the greatest of the Smiley novels—caused me to salivate mentally. Gary Oldman as Smiley? John Hurt as Control, the withered, irascible Circus chief? Colin Firth playing someone, anyone at all? The juices of anticipation squirted in my brain. In the autumn of 1979, every Briton with access to a television set was watching, with avidity and occasional bewilderment, the BBC’s gloomy, labyrinthine Tinker, Tailor miniseries—not least because, as le Carré modestly reminds us in his introduction to the latest edition of Smiley’s People, “the only independent channel in those days obligingly staged a strike and for six precious weeks the entire British viewing public had to choose between BBC1 and BBC2.” There were other reasons, too, for the general enthrallment. Anthony Blunt, a much-garlanded art historian and the Surveyor of the Queen’s Pictures, had just been exposed as a former Soviet spy, part of the Philby/Burgess/Maclean ring. Thus did current affairs conspire to lend a more-than-usual piquancy to le Carré’s vision of an Establishment honeycombed with treachery. In Tinker, Tailor, George Smiley is prodded out of retirement to unmask the mole who sits at the Circus’s top table: Is it busybody Percy Alleline? Roy Bland, “the shop-soiled white hope”? Dashing Bill Haydon? Or the Hungarian, Toby Esterhase? Alec Guinness, playing Smiley (25 years removed from playing Father Brown in The Detective), blinked myopically and carried inscrutable wounds. Around him at the Circus were men both loud and furtive in their natures, swaggering and self-concealing, as if simply to be born into the British ruling class was to sign up for a lifelong career as a double agent.

There had been other screen Smileys—Rupert Davies gave him a bluff inhumanity in The Spy Who Came In From the Cold, and James Mason drawled James Masonically and rather ineffectually through Sidney Lumet’s The Deadly Affair—but Guinness’s became at a stroke the definitive performance. Guinness-as-Smiley was monkish, fastidious, almost prim, bestowing here and there the faint, equivocal benediction of his Smiley smile. He had a doughiness of feature and a plumminess of tone. He moved as if he were wearing three overcoats. In restaurants he looked inexpressibly pained, but if you mentioned his wife his face would register nothing at all. Guinness’s only rival to date for the role has been Simon Russell Beale—the voice of a hooded, magnetic Smiley in a recent series of BBC radio plays.

The new model of Tinker, Tailor—opening in the U.S. in December—is, for me, problematic. Director Tomas Alfredson, previously known for the well-regarded vampire flick Let the Right One In, has reduced the already low pulse of the BBC version to a throb of nearly reptilian thrill-lessness. Which would be fine, except that much of the distinctive le Carré atmosphere has also floated away. Circus HQ, for example, in the novels a warren of pokey corridors with London traffic-grunt coming in through the windows, is rendered by Alfredson as a kind of totalitarian Reading Room, a soaring industrial/cerebral space in which ranks of eavesdroppers and codebreakers clack at their machines, and meetings are conducted in soundproofed cubes. It’s a chillier spy world, with wider gaps between people. The center of gravity provided in the novel by the Establishment, the clubbable Old Boys in their smotheringly furnished rooms—burgundy carpets, burgundy faces, overstuffed men in overstuffed chairs—has gone. Gone too is the heavy fellowship and ghastly heartiness, the endless belaboring of Smiley with the long syllable of his first name: Oh really, George!, George, you must see …, How’s the lovely Ann, George? Now they all communicate in leers of mutual suspicion: a Scandinavian reboot has occurred. Was the Cold War really this cold?

Oldman-as-Smiley, meanwhile, is blanker, harsher-voiced, impenetrable behind the huge reflective panels of his glasses. The wan little smile has become a grimace. Twice we accompany him in the laborious meditation of his early-morning swim in the Thames, watch him pushing pale-shouldered through the tea-colored water—to what end? We cannot possibly guess what he’s thinking. No clue! Smiley’s understatement has been overstated.

It’s very 2011, I suppose, to rub away the interpersonal texture and crank up the anomie. Didn’t the Bond franchise give it a go in 2006’s Casino Royale? Daniel Craig as a harder, icier Bond, hacking his ethically unencumbered way across a borderless post-9/11 globe … To strip down or minimalize le Carré, however, is to sacrifice the almost Tolkienesque grain and depth of his created world: the decades-long backstory, the lingo, the arcana, the liturgical repetitions of names and functions. Did you know that it was John le Carré who introduced the word mole (for “double agent”) into English? Also honey trap? He has enriched the language itself—a claim not even the most devoted Bondian, not Kingsley Amis himself, could make for Ian Fleming.

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