#jesus christ im feeling anxious

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh. #i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days. #unrelated

[grimmthorne]

rlly wish I wasn't so needy and clingy 👍mentally ill shit in the tags lol

#i just feel stupid for needing so much reassurance i hate it #i genuinely hate it #i cant stand that fact about myself sometimes. anxious attatchment or smth i guess #just. fucking. can i get a moment where im not freaking out. #please. #and like i never shut the fuck up im like incapable of not talking about everything on my mind and it stresses me out #bc i feel like im dumping everything out of my brain and that someone is eventually going to go jesus christ youre so annoying #jesus christ youre so needy and clingy and desperate for attention and its pitiful .. i hate it! truly hate it! #bc when i eant to bring it up it feels so stupid. ppl have lives idiot they cant pay attention to you all the time #im just. idk. ill go cry about it and be fine or whatever im just so overdramatic all the fucking time

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

I am so sick and tired of getting new stretch marks, stop reminding me that i have a body

#☀️ shitposts #it just makes me so anxious #ik it's mostly bc my period is gonna start #but jesus christ i need my body to stop getting bigger #im feeling worse and worse about myself by the day and im over it

[one-way-dream]

oughg sorry

#was able to cry a little for the first time in weeks and it worked for a bit but now im. feeling kinda wack again #wish my depression could let me do things to get feelings out but i had to be cursed w executive dysfunction #biting and killing and maiming #i dont want to be whiny about it but aughfhffnghd #when barely anything sparks joy it is hard everything feels hard #i am tired of waking up like this but i don't really. have a right to complain #everything just makes me retreat further into myself i am tired #i don't really know why but i am #i dont think i was able to get the past year out of my system properly and #i keep having dreams about my sister and i and i keep waking up disturbed or anxious or sick or angry or annoyed #weird ass state of burnout and every day i wake up and go through the exact same cycle of just #trying to keep myself calm until i inevitably shut down from something minor in the afternoon and the intrusive s/h thoughts drive me insane #then the rest of my day is ruined so like a solid 12 hours until i can. be stable-ish again #i cannot even do things to get my mind off of it other than brain numbing shit like lets plays on yt #[shrek voice] they cant even afford therapy #something wrong with me and i cannot rly figure out what or if im being overly sensitive n dramatic about everything #nothing is even Happening irl and things are completely normal and fine for the first time in months snd yet? #jesus christ . WHY. #o|-< oughg #tee.xt #vent / #personal / #sory for farty rocking ill probably delete later if i remember

[averysbones]

ehl oh ehl sometimes i feel like im not actually mentally ill and then im like oh yeah okay someone has vaguely been mean to me and now im Not Okay

#was told by a . friend? i dotn even know her that well. on call that she thinks about muting me sometimes and i just immediately got like #really bad mentally like. i had to leave i was not hashtag present #anyways cue intrusive thoughts about sh that could rid me of talking (maybe impossible. probably. its fine its more of a hypothetical or wtv #but golly would it not be a wonderful time for me) i am mentally ill Lol. #idk i feel like when i feel safe around people i feel free to be louder and shit because like. brain loud but usually im too anxious to be #loud outwardly #ykwim. like i get sometimes i have to chill but jesus fucking christ i dont know. like im not entitled to feeling mad or even generally #upset about this because how would she have known right but like. god its stupid amounts of triggering to me idk #vent

[dhampir-dyke]

ACK

#TW FOR DISORDERED EATING #SORTOF #IVE BEEN SO STRESSED OUT AND ANXIOUS THAT I HAVENT EATEN A MEAL IN. FUCK. FOUR DAYS #I freaked out and weighed myself and ive lost 10 fucjing pounds. jesus fucking christ #so im going to a fast food joint before work and eating bc i have been subsisting off purely anxiety and energy drinks #no fucking wonder ive been feeling like shit. its a miracle i havent passed the fuck out yet bc ive been working + on my period too

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

The Time Will Come

Prompt: 17. “You’re shaking like a leaf, are you okay?” (Credit to @/dumplingsjinson for this idea that I found from their hurt/comfort prompt list which you can find here<3)

Summary: post WTIT, Logan goes to an unsuspected side to garner their help.

Ship: platonic analogical

CW/TW: anxiety

———————————————————————

Logan rose up in the anxious sides room, pad of paper still in hand, exhausted and aggravated.

Virgil hadn’t heard him come in, the music from his headphones preventing him from being able to hear much of anything. He was sketching on his bed and mumbling the words to the song he was listening to to himself. This was his way of coping through the unease that rippled its way through Thomas because of Remus’ actions.

Logan stood there, waiting for Virgil to notice him. He didn’t want to bother him but he didn’t really feel as if he had anyone else to go to. Roman was busy rehearsing lines for a play, Patton was free but he was just…too sentimental, and Remus and Janus? No. Absolutely not.

Virgil could feel someone looking at him and looked up, quickly jumping back. “GAH!” he removed his headphones and took a second to catch his breath. “Jesus fucking Christ, Logan, you could’ve said something.”

“Apologies. I was wondering if we could converse about something important” he said, setting his pad of paper on Virgil’s desk. His hands were shaking.

Virgil recognized this subtle action as something Logan only did when he was overwhelmed with emotion. It’s funny, In a sick way. Logan was the one who taught him and the rest of the sides that suppression wasn’t helpful, yet he continued to put on this emotionless persona daily.

“God, you’re shaking like a leaf, are…you okay?” He asked, concerned.

Logan shook his head, suddenly all of the thoughts in his head were jumbled, he couldn’t speak. “I— Thomas keeps— Remus—“ he tried on multiple different ways of starting his sentence before he couldn’t stand upright, the shaking getting worse, tears in his eyes. He felt embarrassed, this wasn’t how he wanted this to go.

Virgil rushed to his side and held him as he collapsed into his arms. “It’s okay, you’re okay, breathe.” He says warmly.

“he won’t listen to me.” He said, taking deep breaths and composing himself. He stopped shaking and sat on the edge of Virgil’s bed.

“Logan, you need to talk to him. Not only is this effecting you, but all of us. Pushing down how you feel does nothing but make it worse.” Virgil says. He didn’t want to be so brutally honest with him, but he had no choice, enough was enough.

“I am the Logical side, Virgil, not the anxious side. I’m fine. I’m more concerned with Thomas’ procrastination issue.” Logan responds

“Really? Because the borderline breakdown you just had speaks otherwise.” He retorts. He winced a little at how cutting his voice sounded.

“The house is a mess I just need him to—“

“The house is a mess because Thomas is, same thing for you. You have emotions, Logan. I’m sorry but you have to face it just like the rest of us. The house is one of the lowest things on my list of priorities right now. You need to talk to him.”

“Fine.” Logan replied half-heartedly.

———————————————————————

After his initial conversation with Virgil, Logan found Thomas sitting in the living room re-watching Parks and Recreation with Nico. It was his 17th time rewatching it and he kept pointing out his favorite parts while Nico laughed.

It had been a few hours since their venture downtown and Logan didn’t want to intrude on their date. Or more-so, he was afraid to.

Eventually Thomas walked into the kitchen where Logan was standing, sipping his coffee, going over the script in his head. He was at the part where he was explaining the issue to Thomas when present Thomas interrupted him.

“Hey, Logan im sorry about earlier, I promise I’ll get back on schedule soon.” He says

Logan gave him a stoic look. “Thomas, we need to talk about this. I think your procrastination levels are just growing increasingly more high by the day. Why is that?”

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now, I just wanted to let you know that I would, eventually, be getting back on—“

“Thomas, this is extremely important. I’m tired of you pushing me off to the side.” Logan interrupted him, flustered.

Thomas stared at him, shocked, a hurt look on his face. “I wasn’t trying to do that I just don’t want to—“

“Forget about it.” Logan says, cutting him off, watching Thomas’ face go from hurt to heartbroken. He couldn’t find it within himself to care, he was too tired, too maddened with Thomas’ apparent need to not listen to him.

He sinks back down into Virgil’s room, sitting on his bed, just as he was earlier.

Virgil looks up, and Logan doesn’t even have to say anything before Virgil just wraps his arms around him and holds him close. “He’ll listen soon. I promise. I know what it’s like to not feel heard.”

Logan nods and lets himself be held. Usually he’s not one for psychical touch, or any kind of show of affection for that matter, but he needed this. He really needed this.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts patton #patton sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts remus #remus sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #Nico #hurt/comfort #angst

[tpwkwriter]

Sleeping with H ❣️

If you can’t tell I’m obsessed with fluffy headcannons 🫶

———

• The night routine would normally start by one of you falling asleep or drifting off either during a movie or just a simple cuddle on the sofa, for you it was most likely when H was cleaning up after dinner and you found a cosy spot on the sofa. “Sleepy baby” he’d mutter.

• you’d both be so obsessed with watching each other getting ready this would be anytime really but at bedtime it felt more special, it was particularly funny when you watched him shave, “cant help but feel like I’m being watched baby” he’d smile, “getting stage performance pretty boy?”

• Of course there was also the domestic side of you both using the bathroom at the same time. “H can you pass me my cleanser please” “aaaand which one is that” he’d question “the one in front of you that clearly say ‘cleanser’” “there’s about 7 products saying the same thing!!?” “Jesus Christ H”

• When it came too you H was always adamant about you being comfy, feeling okay, always sleeping on a full stomach etc. “d’ya need drink for through the night?” “Ya got enough room love?” “Snacks in the bedside draw for ya m’honey” 🫶🏼

• through the night he’d always, almost be wrapped around you, the familiarity of your hold is so prominent that he stirs or even wakes when he can’t feel you in bed. “Where’d you go?” He whine “jus using the bathroom, go back to sleep now”

• Now he wasn’t particularly loud when he slept, the odd soft snore occasionally but he mostly would blurt out random words and sometimes you’d softly wake and try to hold on your laughter. “ n-no im not the fi-fighting sort” “H what the fuck” you’d whisper with a giggle.

• On nights you’d struggle to sleep or were anxious he’d lay on side, while you’d be on your back and he’d keep his hand on your back using his fingers to trace up and down, he’d often whisper words of affirmation to you just to assure your safe and it’s okay <3

• When he was on tour and you’d follow along, he would occasionally have nightmares, you believed it was because of his adrenaline being on a high most of the time, but when these did occur he’d instantly reach out to his lovie and even just holding her was a relief. “Wanna talk about it baby?” You’d ask playing with his curls “it’s okay, just want to hold yous” 🤧

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #fine line harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles blurb #harry styles x y/n #my fic writing #fluff #hshq #tooth rotting fluff #hs #harry styles fluff #boyfriend material #one direction #trope #fic recs #1d #boyfriendrry

[julibeeline]

Ok so I just had an idea but head cannons about crew boys + Wilbur (ranboo?? If you write for him) finding out that a certain song reminds reader of a certain “someone”. But reader tells them about it like really dreamily so the boys get really jealous about it. Only to realize later that the “someone” they were talking about was a fictional character (like anime or from books whatever)

-🍬

mcyts getting jealous only to find out you’re talking about someone fictional

a/n: so sorry but sapnap, karl and ranboo are taken out due to boundaries and me running out of ideas :) this one was fun to write though, thanks for the request 🍬 anon! enjoy <33

masterlist

DREAM

you guys are chilling on the couch when dream asks you

“did you listen to that song that nick sent us yesterday?”

“oh yeah i loved it! it really reminded me of someone.” you answer smiling

dream’s stomach drops as he frowns; maybe you didnt like him back afterall.

“…who?”

but by the time he looks at you, youve already gone to the kitchen to get a cup of water.

the whole day dream is anxious

who could you possibly like other than him? could it be sapnap?

cuz god that would break his heart

when you notice him being really distant you finally give up and ask him what’s wrong

he spills everything and you have to hold in your laugh

you tell him about the character you’ve been liking since you were little

dream’s jaw drops

“YOU SHOULDVE TOLD ME SOONER! I GOT WORRIED OVER NOTHING?!”

GEORGE

you and george were streaming, when you guys get a text to speech dono

it reads “hey guys, i love your content, i recently found out about a song that i think you guys would like. its called ————“

when you recognize the song, you happily reply back

“hey! thanks for the dono, i love that song; it reminds me of someone and i think its so cute”

you dont even spare a glance at george, making him feel very much rejected

as george’s mood goes down by every passing second, the chat is filled with

“george on his jealous arc”

“george is jealous”

comments like that catch your eye

“oh guys i was talking about ——— from the books” you say laughing awkwardly

people notice that this brings george’s mood up fairly quickly

now the whole world knows george has a crush on you

QUACKITY

you guys were just driving around in his car at night; something that happens every once in a while

you put a song on the radio, looking at alex

“i really like this song because it reminds me of someone” you say.

of course at first he thought it was about himself, i mean he was your boyfriend

but the more he listened to you talk about them, the more upset he got

“this person must be really special huh” he says clenching his jaw

he brushes you off the rest of the ride, while you sit there in confusion until it clicks

when you tell him you were talking about someone from an anime youve been watching, he feels a sense of relief wash over

“you scared the shit out of me y/n, jesus christ”

WILBUR

james was showing you his new song ready to realese, with wilbur next to him

when you tell james that “its great, it reminds me of someone”

wilbur looks at james worridly while james gives him a look clearly saying “sorry man, maybe theyre taken”

and the whole day wilbur’s mood is sour

when you finally pop and bring james in another room to ask him about it, james is relieved

“oh we thought you had a partner for fucks sake, you should go tell will”

when wilbur finally finds out, he cannot be happier

“oh my god im so glad to hear that y/n you dont even know”

#dream smp #mcyt x reader #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #wilbur soot #quackity #ranboo

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde

Page 99-105

JADE: the prince’s power grows.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

JADE: i feel him resonate through the void.

KARKAT: FUCKING GREAT.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second

DAVE: also are you ok

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM!

KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN!

JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario.

KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

KARKAT: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?

DAVE: yeah i may be totally misunderstanding the intricacies of "next gen technology" designed by an idiot in microshorts

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door

JADE: i unlocked it with my mind.

DAVE: fuck

KARKAT: FANTASTIC.

JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

KARKAT: WOW? COOL? AND YOU HAD TO COME IN HERE AT THE ASSCRACK OF THE MORNING TO TELL US THIS?

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

JADE: ...

KARKAT: OH, IS THAT ALL? NOTHING ELSE TO SAY?

DAVE: karkat its fine

DAVE: who cares

KARKAT: YEAH. YOU’RE RIGHT.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE WE ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO WAKE UP FOR.

KARKAT: GO BACK TO BED.

DAVE: no dude im up fuck it

DAVE: i want coffee

KARKAT: FUCK! FINE! FUCK IT.

KARKAT: I NEED TO USE THE GAPER ANYWAY.

DAVE: oh me too

KARKAT: DON’T FOLLOW ME.

ROXY: oh what up

ROXY: its a whole ass pajama party up in here

ROXY: couldnt sleep??

KARKAT: JADE WOKE US UP BY BEING CREEPY.

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jade why did u do that

KARKAT: WHAT?

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US!

ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess

ROXY: it be like that

KARKAT: I PREFERRED WHEN ALL SHE DID WAS FLOAT AROUND AND POINT AT SHIT.

KARKAT: AT LEAST THAT WAS QUIET.

DAVE: yall want coffee

ROXY: sure

KARKAT: YEAH, THANKS.

DAVE: hate to give it up to venture capitalism but this coffee is EONS better than the garbage we had on the meteor

DAVE: this ship is maybe the dumbest thing ive ever looked at but its a give and take right

ROXY: maybe u just developed a taste for it

ROXY: i used to think coffee tasted like ass but drinkin it was another thing i felt like my mom woulda done

ROXY: turns out rose drinks tea and i stockholmed my own dumb butt into liking this addictive bean juice

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now

ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away

ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances"

KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU UP ANYWAY?

ROXY: well i wasnt but then somebody screamed like a rooster boned a teapot and had a noisy lovechild

DAVE: yeah thats basically accurate

KARKAT: FUCK YOU.

DAVE: maybe if youre lucky

KARKAT: THAT JOKE STOPS BEING FUNNY WHEN WE’VE ACTUALLY

KARKAT: UH

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

ROXY: lmao

ROXY: in the fridge

DAVE: wheres kanaya

ROXY: idk

ROXY: sleepin i hope

ROXY: last time i saw her she was on the second floor

ROXY: no

ROXY: the third floor observation deck

ROXY: this place is huge

KARKAT: PLEASE.

KARKAT: IT’S MAYBE A TENTH THE SIZE OF THE METEOR.

DAVE: yeah dude but that was basically a city

DAVE: this is more like a castle

DAVE: a castle of idk

DAVE: twenty something ennui

ROXY: anybody hungry

ROXY: i was thinkin about alchemizing some pancakes

ROXY: or maybe eggs

ROXY: they all basically taste the same at the end of the day i think alchemized food is like eighty percent imagination

ROXY: but both of you barely eat and its making me anxious

DAVE: damn thanks mom

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: shit

DAVE: dad

DAVE: roxy

DAVE: fuck sorry im tired

ROXY: haha its ok

ROXY: dont worry about it

DAVE: okay but just because our relatives turned evil doesnt mean we have to act like total animals

DAVE: we can still try to respect each others identities and shit

DAVE: anyway im gonna go check on kanaya

DAVE: possessed jade dont follow me

JADE: i am fine where i am.

DAVE: cool

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #jade harley #karkat vantas #dave strider #roxy lalonde #homestuck^2 act 1 #page 99 #page 100 #page 101 #page 102 #page 103 #page 104 #page 105 #alt calliope

[theclosetedskeleton]

tell me about the self-ish characters pleas😞i do not care how long the post is /nf

GRAJ ALRIGHTY

gotta mentally think about what im gonna say uhhh

SELF- + -ISH

Okay so I imagine them to have been these twins who got,, fused together? something like that. Occasionally one or the other will take control or whatever of the fused body, and that's usually able to be told by the colors that they wear and slight difference in appearance. Both of them wish to be "themselves again", however there isn't really a way for them to be that again. They are the only character that I DONT have a design OR a name/names for, so I'm just gonna refer to each side as their song counterparts. Self- is calm, quiet and more so the emotional one of the two. -Ish is arrogant, worrisome and quick to jump to conclusions. I haven't thought abt separate identities for the two, although (both of) their pronouns are they/them.

2012

okay i actually have a name for this oc so i gotta dig up my sketchbook rq

OKAY BACK

(STOP WHY DO THE PROPORTIONS LOOK LIKE TAHT )

2012's real name is Morana. She's a Theorist, mainly trying to solve some of the wackiest mysteries that the universe she lives in has to offer, but mainly her own. Morana is struck with some sort of unknown illness, one that progressively gets worse. She doesn't remember how she got it, but she remembers when (guys this is gonna be a really hard one to answer,,, hmmmmmmm

she got the illness around 2012).

Her eyes appear abnormally, looking like black doll eyes. Many colorful cracks form on her skin eventually breaking to reveal her inner body. Its the worst on her face, with her having to cover it with a machine that allows her to see that kind of looks like a VR headset. The cracks and abnormalities will eventually lead to her death, and that's what Morana's trying to theorize about. She thinks that if nobody will know how she'll die, she'll figure it out herself before the time comes.

Bit of personality here -- Morana is a Talkative person, yet tends to be an anxious + nervous person. However, along with the Anxiety, she's driven by that (one of those people that are motivated BY anxiety). She's nonbinary, Bi, demisexual, and her pronouns are She/Her.

Cotards solution

Think abt that one friend in the friend group that's off the rails/pos

Loud, dramatic and forgetful a lot of the times, Cotards solution is yet a character shrouded with mystery. Resurrected by unknown forces, a man unknown by, well, everyone enters the scene. Cotards doesn't have a name (not bc I didn't think of one shhhh), mainly because nobody can put a name to the rotting face. He knows and believes he's dead, yet many people don't believe he is. He feels as if the body he has will be at peace if he's dead, because he already is, but everyone will believe he died just for the cause of it.

His body is translucent, and what shows underneath his skin are just his bones. Thats mainly because hes mainly a skeleton with magical counterparts giving him another life (he still has many human features though). Cotards dissociates a lot and tends to stop talking mid-sentence.

Cotards has a third eye. It tends to disappear and reappear, not necessarily with or without a reason. He constantly wears these red three-framed glasses for his eyes. Im not quite sure what else to add uhh. Cotards is gay and uses he/him pronouns.

Mr. Capgras

Mysterious, quiet, and a nervous wreck. Mr. Capgras, first name Victor, is probably the oldest of all of the SELF-iSH characters. Formerly an engineer, Victor struggles with visions and illusions of the sense. Consistently seeing ghosts and hearing voices, not to mention the everlasting fear of everyone being not who they say they are and that they're out to get him !? jesus christ,. someone go get him therapy NOW speaking emoji fire emoji!!!!

He's very paranoid, and will avoid almost any social interaction because of this. He also has really bad trust issues, not mainly bc of his fears, but also because once he gained this strange illness and paranoia, everyone in his life left him. He also gets visions of the same people (the same people in question turn out to be the other SELF-iSH ocs).

He has these blemishes and scars on his skin that don't heal, With beady black eyes like Morana's/2012's. They don't share the same canon illness, however (none of them do, minus one character that ill get to). He is constantly wearing those like. floral designed suits. or just suits in general. idk what's up with that. He's Agender, Panromantic, Grey asexual and uses He/Him pronouns.

The song with 5 names

Your average guy. except uhh we cant have that here, its fused with 4 people (or, more specifically, their minds) . Their original name is Vincent, but is barely called by that name anymore. The four people in question are Morana, Cotards, Victor and the character of "Hand me my shovel, I'm going in!" .

Constantly on edge, hyper and shakes way too much. It changes personalities FAST, Mainly because of the 4 different (mind) fusions. Vincent tends to talk to himself a lot, mainly because it tries to send messages to the 4 of them.

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY DELETED A PARAGRAPH OH MY GOD

Their body is covered in cracks, holes, patterns and abnormalities of the like. Along with this, the abnormalities are never fluid, and are constantly changing. Little physical fact - Vincent had heterochromia, and now thats developed into a cracked beady eye and A completely blank white eye. Vincent uses He/it/they pronouns, and is aroace + genderfluid.

Hand me my shovel, I'm going In!

Burned out + tired character of the ocs. Dawn is a conspiracist/ theorist who tried to find someone that hasn't ever existed. She looks for the answers to a solution of a problem that hasn't even been thought of, yet wont be denied that the person doesn't exist. The person was the love of dawns life, and needs to find an answer as to where they went.

Dawn occasionally sees ghosts from time to time and also experiences hallucinations. One could speculate that the "love of her life" WAS a ghost, but the evidence isn't enough to prove it yet (oh my god making references to the original songs its so fun ANYWAYS).

I imagine Dawn and Morana to be like theorist buddies. what if plot twist the love of her life in question WAS Morana BEFORE the illness?? Except she didnt know Morana changed??? hmmmmm muhahah

Dawn constantly wears suits. Like. you could be going to the motherfucking grocery store and BOOM suit and tie. not the point. Dawn has multiple scars on her face and hands, due to physical injuries. She has dark heavy eyebags, and is pale as a ghost due to malnourishment. Her pronouns are She/her and is a demigirl + lesbian.

Dr. Sunshine (is dead)

by far my most worked on character probably. Dr. Sunshine, Also known as William sunshine (Yes this IS a reference to WW's old work), has been at and through many places at a time. Working with all sorts of magic, the "good" or the "bad" kind, or the things that feel like magic (uhhh drugs), He'll get his hands on. From working as a "doctor" to A ringmaster (I'd go into depth into that but that's a verbal equinox territory), hes done almost all of it. He's done WAY too many bad deeds to be considered "wanted", yet nobody seems to know him.

Charming yet mysterious, It feels like he seems to know everyone. Maybe its because he actually does !!!

Plot twist grahh!!! hes been behind all of the "illness's" and "diseases", and fusions of the like. Yes, even Cotards resurrection. In fact what if i told you that Dr. Sunshine resurrected Cotards to be with him once more !!!! Diversity win! the ocs are gay!

WEHJAKSKS

GETTING OFF TOPIC!!!!! Yes, Dr. sunshine resurrected Cotards to not have to deal with the pain of forever losing him, and when that didnt (seem to) work, he tried fusing him (parts of his mind to be specific) with someone else, however accidentally fusing 3 other people in the process.

Physical features!!! Dr. Sunshine has that Iconic coat i always draw him in, but since there may be other people who read to the end of this, Dr. sunshine has a white doctors/lab coat with many stripes and patterns on it, with (human) eyes on one sleeve. Dr. Sunshine also has a Third eye, and markings/abnormalities covering his body. Dr. Sunshine may or may not be already dead, Its hard to tell as to how many times hes died. Lastly Dr. Sunshine's pronouns are He/him, and hes Bisexual.

CONCLUSION

OH MY GOD. this post is gonna be so fucking long. I hope whoever read this enjoyed reading it because this shit took me 2 hours GRAH

ALSO if this has any errors im sorry bc i wrote this at 4 am for anyone who stumbles across this post later

#closet rambles again on tumblr #will wood #will wood and the tapeworms #wwatt #wwattw #self ish #I should make a tag for my ocs #Closet oc tag!!!

[weirdcat1213]

another day another week ANOTHER FUCKING VOLUME-

okok lets relax

vol 11 thoughts

chap 1:

you know i barely remember this so it should be fun :D

-CHAPEL IDC IF THIS A FLASHBACK BUT THE TF OUT OF MY HOUSE

-"all he did was to shoot you in the spine" lmao elendira calling legato a baby is my favorite thing

-you know what girlie youre so right- oh a joke? damn it

-ily zazie, youre so cool

-VASH SLEEPING IN THE CAR :D

-oh hey brad is here

-ah NO NOT THE AFTERMATH MOMENTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-brad, brad, honey....he knows

-why is my poor baby apologizing :c

-i mean brad's fears are valid and all but HE DOESNT KNOW AND WE KNOW AND VASH KNOWS AND ITS ALL JUST REALLY SAD

-GIVE MY MAN A BREAK LMAO XD

-also i can relate to livio here cuz rn my environment is too trusting and im so paranoid about security like yeah vash, i would never sleep in the back of a car of someone whom i just met you dumbass-

-shut up literally shut up

-fair

-Ion Blaster TM time :3

-final phase you say-

-oh....oh no. vash, this is gonna be one of those moments where you sigh and curse knives for being kinda right

-oh he angy xd

-OHH RIGHT YEAH

-yeap...they are fucked atm

-OMG ITS THEM THEYRE COMING YIPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D

chap 2

-THEYRE ALMOST HEREEEEE

-catch me being that guy when the end comes (just a dude in a coat with a hat playing music, thats gonna be me)

-oh god no, the worst and most boring thing you could do is to label knives as a terrorist. the guy is so much more and that word just doesnt fit him

-yes thank you! no time for nonsense

-THERE SHE IS HEY GIRLLLLL ITS BEEN SO LONG, TOO LONG, YOU LOOK SO PRETTY :3

-MILLY MY BELOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

-when was the last time we saw them? 2 volumes ago?

-"i would never would have imagined this. that the world could change so fast" and that goes on the list of "timeless trigun things" or TTT for short

-:c

-wait so...transphobe guy? get yeeted

-oh...oh i didnt remember...oh i will cry

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the reunioooooooooon

-look at their fucking faces, they missed each other so much

-tbh if i met the most jesus-allegory guy ever, then lost trail of where or how he was for 2 volumes of a manga ,to find him later in the middle of a silly fight i would also cry

-that scene with the pieces of earth announcement makes me kinda sad, no one will come for us

-geesus christ

-ohhh kinda pretty tho, looks like a phoenix

chap 3:

-"its all happening so fast" yeah sorry dude, its a trigun tradition

-HE LOOKS SO HAPPY, HIS DUTY (according to him) OF PROTECTING THE PEOPLE IS ALMOST DONE

-"do you want me to come along?" he would be the best person to go to public places when you are too anxious to talk to strangers

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT ASK PLS NO

-livio honey what was the idea here "oh you guys seem like you liked him. i actually killed him. well not me but also me. im sorry"

-milly my girl is cursed to be the 1st and og wolfwood stan in any version. we feel your pain girl

-LMAO THE NOTE ABOUT ZAZIE XD

-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW :3 A BAG OF LITTLE THINGSSS

-NOT VASH CARRYING FIGURINES AROUND, HES LIKE ME FR FR WITH MY KEYCHAINS

-also ofc he has rare figurines, the man has had enough time to look for it lmao

-ok but imagine if vash actually had lost the coins xd

-the pressure and guilt livio must feel rn. his brother died trying to protect him and he has the official Vash Thinks Youre Cool stamp. he has to change cuz if he doesnt he would throw all of that away and really stop being human

-you did good brad

-"must be lonely" im eating my own arm

-oh im really crying over this, ok, fun

-i also dont know what to do vash the stampede but im begging you to ASK FOR HELP YOU MFFFFFFFFFF

-AH SHIT ZAZIE NO

-AH FUCK ITS HIM

chap 4:

-july 20th? ah great, july 20th-21st is cursed here too

-rad as hell as always

-huh, i expected knives to just yeet them on sight

-i would say him and humans are pretty much alike but ok, sure,hm

-i love her being suspicious of legato 1st xd

-i wonder how can this go wrong, seems like a solid plan

-oh right...him

-YEAH GO GET HIM >:3

-oh...oh thats so cool. like his body doesnt work...but he controls it...but not in the same way a human would...wow

-OH BEAUTIFUL EYE HOLY SHIT THATS BEAUTIFUL

-GATE CONSUMING STUFF YOU SAY.....HMMMMM I WONDER WHERE I SAW THE SAME TRIGUN CONCEPT-

(side note: "you still dont know how to control your gate" SO THATS HOW IT LOOKS WHEN YOU CONTROL IT? IT ONLY CONSUMES/CREATE WHAT YOU WANT?? ORANGEEE)

-MAGIC BULLETSSSSSS

-LMAO THE HOLE XD

-vash you cant say shit about silly haircuts im sorry

-also "new hair new outlook"...........i will curl myself into the moon

-they forgor

-who are you

-also ngl i never got the idea of what the coins did so lets find out

chap 5:

-SHES FUCKING HERE REJOICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-wait wdym neural blocking programs

-LMAO XD

-LIVIO IS SO SCARED AND WITH REASON

-just the two of us :3

-i love his game face and then its just "ugh i cant do this" xd

-"fight vash the stampede fight" me cheering vash on in stampede

-vash i love you but you cant call my wife a bitch, thats not polite

-oh livio, oh i didnt get to appreciate you too much on my 1st read but come here man, come here. youre doing great

-they have officially trauma bonded :3 (ik thats a terrible oversimplification but leave me alone)

-"is it possible for something created by humans to completely break away from their creators?" yes next question

-OH NO IS THIS THE VOLUME WITH *THAT SCENE*?

-"you really have become a crybaby" and im glad cuz she was always so serious with her job and all, now she can express her feelings more

-STOPPPP THIS ALWAYS GETS ME CUZ AHHHHHH STOP

-AH NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :C

-...........and thats story is technically stampede but anyway jajajajaja :D

-the prettiest eyes

-FUNNY ENOUGH HE DOES LOOK LIKE A BUG

-OH ITS TIME ITS FUCKING TIME HOLY SHIT

chap 6:

-the title :c

-liviooooooo :c

-HEY! my boi can still kick your ass >:[

-DONT YOU EVEN *DARE*

-just leave him out of this pls

-i love that he still considers himself human <3 i want to think wolfwood taught him that indirectly

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-I MEAN YES YOURE RIGHT BUT CAN YOU NOT???

-huh, the silhouette kinda looks like wolfwo- *gunshot*

-i love knowing exacty what livio is thinking rn

-aww :3

-liviooooooooooo :c

-his cowboy era is about to start im so proud of him :')

#im having fun #ive cried sm but im actually having fun #no i dont have a problem #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #livioooooooooooooooooooooo

[jarognieva]

JESUS CHRist will I ever stop being fckng anxious???? My brain starts to freak out AGAIN that everyone (except my seestor) secretly hates me, I know it's not true but inside my head sits my little AvPD devil and whispers "yes but WHAT IF THEY ACTUALLY HATE U BUT DON'T TELL U THIS BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE???" So I'm scared that I'm annoying and overwhelming because I'm oversharing and say cringe or/and obvious and stupid things so I retreat into myself and stay silent but then I'm crying from loneliness??? Im at my fucking limit, I'm so scared that everyone is going to abandon me (lately I panicked that even my closest relatives are going to abandon me and I wouldn't survive emotionally and economically without them) and at the same time I'm scared that I'm annoying and overwhelming so I back out of any social interactions. DEER GODS why I'm cursed with this stupid personal disorder, why it couldn't be anything else??? I can't stand this shit which is happening in my head right now anymore. And I even feel remorse for this post because I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable but this blog is my personal cringe diary okay? ;_;

#just avpd person freaks out again #don't mind this #;_;

[okthatsgreat]

OHHHH MY GODD EPISODE TWO WAS SO GOOD got so many belly laughs out of me. jesus christ. bingo below!!!! SPOILERS!!

THIS EPISODE

ayda DID reunite with her father technically and while we didnt get to see their initial meeting i am going to consider the video call awkward enough. if anything ayda was definitely not having a good time

gilear's luck might be turning around but he was involved in a robbery and also just his character art next to hallariel. that is a pathetic man

speaking of they ARE still together!! and i love seeing that fabian is accepting the engagement.... beautiful character development

MAJOR BREAKUP OCCURSSSSSSSSSSSS definitely had a feeling that kristen and tracker were breaking up but ouchhhhh OUCHHHHH. watching your ex be successful in all of the areas youre struggling in yowch! also gorgug and zelda.............not entirely certain just yet but it seems more and more likely by the minute............................................

OTHERS

kipperlilly copperkettle already a strong contender for that twist antagonist spot already

didnt want to officially put down any npc death just yet GHDFJKGHDFKJ they mended ecaf and duggan could have been lying and balthazar is everywhere now IDK!!!!

gorgug seems anxious but im gonna withhold it for now...

kinda loving what theyre doing by making a lot of the npcs leave i wont lie HGJKFG. really really excited to meet new people!!!!!! ESPECIALLY this kipperlilly gal. ok byeeee lmk if i missed anything :)

#lee chat #fantasy high bingo #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year

[lady-ika]

oof.mp3

age 27 with one abusive relationship under my belt and plenty of other "im pretending we're talking but really i just wanna fuck" ones and ik some people have zilch nada of either and i should be content but jesus fucking christ

age 27 and i have a giant teddy bear from a thrift store that i have to cling onto to not let the demons take over and i honestly think i just need to have a full sobbing breakdown about this stupid fucking petty shit

loneliness won't kill me bc i have good great friends and they care about me and my family are assholes but at least theyre around and im just throwing a tantrum about not having a partner.

but i could get onto dating apps-

bro either i get people im definitely not interested in or people who just wanna hook up and im not interested in it. like sometimes i think about having my hookup era but im too anxious to even really consider beyond just teasing these guys and like yeah! im bi! i could go out on dates w girls but id rather not get hatecrimed to death by my family if they ever find out

idk i tell everyone else all day that theyre lovable and deserve the love they want and deserve but like ykno that doesnt apply to myself

like i have nothing to offer and im palatable to friends but romantic partners? nah. im jealous of my married and dating and engaged friends bc i eant to spend my life with someone who actually like. wants me romantically and friends are great but i need something. romantic. idk maybe im just a jealous bitch but i want to have someone that *looks* at me, yknow?

i am not worth a passing glance and my friends say im pretty but i know im not and i wish i looked the way i wanted bc then i would be and i wouldnt look like my mom

and nobody looks at me or notices me and i have to engineer shit to look pretty enough for a picture and i just want to look like one of the xiaohongshu girls bc then i could at least enjoy myself

i exist to be a support character to never have breakdowns and only listen and just be complacent with my hand in life but i wish i could do anything but be a depressed sack of shit and take naps all day or mindlessly scroll so i dont have to feel like this

and maybe this is my hell, that i have to date a cis dude or a passing trans dude if i dont want to get hatecrimed but im so intolerable that this is my punishment that the most hopeless romantic in my friendgroup really is the most hopeless. i just want someone who'll give up or trade off on our favourite character in a game or win me carnival game prizes or somehow always find a way to touch me and won't mind if i grab their hand or will tell about this one thing they like while i work on something or like. i mean i dont have an iphone but for some reason the facetiming while falling asleep hits somehow in my brain and idk.

i feel bad telling ym friend thats never dated that i hate being 2nd choice when she hasnt ever been one but i think theyre. equally devastating. because either way you're haunted w what could have been.

im always the second person after theyve already been in love with someone else or have someone currently or a passing moment of lust or an idle what if and im sick of it

i feel like a kid looking at god or whatever force might manage us like "ive tried to be good to deserve something good i can share and im so full of love but nobody wants to share it with me"

and god just points at my adult life like "but you've been too angry and broke yourself too much" so i stay angry and broken

and alone

#ika's self pity corner

[sunnibits]

my dog literally every other day: AHH JESUS FUCK IM SO ANXIOUS OH DONT YOU DARE FUCKING LEAVE JESUS CHRIST OH GOD WAS THAT A PERSON AT THE DOOR I NEED TO GO KILL THEM OR KISS THEM I DONT KNOW HEY DONT GET UP HEY HEY HEY

my dog when I’m feeling sick or in pain: oh hey sweetie you okay?? you need cuddles???? 🥺🥺 here I give kiss. okay how about I just sit with you for a while. I’ll keep watch. let’s take a little nap. do you need some hot soup???

#dogs are so wild I swear she can literally sense when I’m not feeling well #like she’s a 24/7 menace all the time but shes SO consistent about cuddling with you if ur sick it’s so freaking cute #I have a migraine today and sure enough she is HERE for the snuggles #baby girl. baby.