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#jim.txt

me at the start of my shift:

me when i finally clock out:

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hozier: hmmm ahhhh fever dreams lust disembodied voices religious guilt forest dirt decaying revolution i love my babey <3

me:

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male content creator: my female character HAS to wear revealing clothes because her powers are connected to her skin and the more of it is exposed, the more powerful she is. and besides, she LIKES kicking ass in nothing but a thong and a strip of leather covering her nipples.

me:

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i looove blocking anon hate. its like you may cyberbully me. once.

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i know it’s not that deep but those ‘‘‘jokes’’’ people make that go like “you didn’t get bullied because you were ugly, you got bullied because you openly expressed your enjoyment of your cringey interests” really bother me because yes, my “cringey” interests and unattractiveness made me an easier target for bullies, but they didn’t bully me because of them. they bullied me because they wanted to abuse someone. they had the choice to ignore me and find their own interests to entertain themselves with, but instead they dedicated their time and enjoyment to making my life miserable. i did nothing to “earn” or “deserve” their abuse.

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anyone else here completely incapable of listening to music while doing sedentary activities like studying or travelling long distances because it gives you a surge of energy that can only be expressed by tearing up the dancefloor this post was made by and for the adhd and autism gang

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dragon: enormous fangs as long as i am tall, wickedly sharp claws, powerful wings that allow for surprise aerial attacks, spiked tail that can crush bone with a single well-aimed swipe, literally breathes fire

me, arms open wide and ready to cuddle: who’s a good boy?? :D who’s a GOOD BOY? ?? :D :D is it you??? it’s YOU!!!!! :D :D :D

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me online: i want to live in the FOREST i want to COMMUNE WITH THE OLD GODS i want to SLEEP IN THE COOL SOFT DIRT and BE ONE WITH NATURE and PARTAKE IN RITUALISTIC REVELRY WITH THE FAE

me when i see a bug irl:

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angel: D̲̞̦͈͙͚͇O̧̰͚͈ ̼͔͚̬̦̥̞̳͜N̸͉Ò̕͏͕̥T̵̨̺̘̟͚͔ ̢̛̫̼̫͉͈͎͈͔B̴̩̫͍̗E̡̼͖̳̫̖̘͈̻ ̲̺̺̺͞ͅA̹F͚̭̘̻͎̗͍̀R̞̳̲̜͠Á̶͍̫̘̯̹I̷̡̤̟̼̱̹̩̩̫͖͘D̨̛҉͎̝̯̺

me: afraid??? of what, those seven buzzing throats and burning wings covered in unblinking, sleepless eyes??? phew 😤👅💦

angel: P҉̧̖̼L͈̙̙͝E̜A̶̧̤̥S̸͕̺E̡̛̗̦̘ ̧̹̖̗̘͓͙͡G̴̛̱̦̼̗O̧͔͔̰̺̲̬̩ ̸̳̘̬̗̱̪̙̜͈B̳̘͞A͇͙̮͙̫C̮̬̟̀ͅK̰̦̹̣̰ ̧̧̛̪̦T̸̫̀O͖͓̻͠ ̤̻̥̝͍͈̫Ḇ̶̧̺͘É͉̠̜̤͡I̵̤͡N̴̝͔͚̠͇̤͇̕ͅG̘͇̫͜ ̡̦̻̺̀A̻̲̦̜̝͉͙F̖̱̞̘̀͟R̢̯͖̻̟͕͉̯A̩̝̠͓͡I̸̧̟̖̘͉͈̱D̸̫̪̳̠́

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straight actors filming a gay kiss scene:

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me when i see people sharing corporate twitter posts:

corporate twitter: paddington has a twitter account where he says things like this

me:

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catholics be like. guilt… but make it horny

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y’all have got to STOP saying “[character/celebrity] wrote this” on ppl’s posts it’s really fucking ignorant and insensitive of you to act like kinning is some kind of joke and just assign people kintypes against their will like thathdjghshskhg huhwdghgd;dfg8s ekfldagf im just kidding but can you imagine

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literally anyone: *surreal/absurdist humor post*

absolute jesters on tumblr dot com:

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