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#jim.txt

less songs about being jealous because the girl you like is dating another guy more songs about fighting an ancient evil with your best friends and falling in love with a ghost

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other people (fools and cowards): monsters can’t be sexy

guillermo del toro (genius): monsters CAN be little a sexy. as a treat.

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guys will try to impress you by telling you they know everything about draconic mythology and folklore and then not even be able to tell you the difference between a wyrm and a wyvern

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idk why people are so worried about making ‘self-insert’ ocs. literally all my ocs are self inserts. they just come in a range of different flavors depending on which parts of my personality i feel like projecting onto them when i create them.

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every fictional pairing that makes gay people go feral is like “here is an ordinary person who is hopelessly devoted to their best friend, who bears a heavy burden that they refuse to let anyone help them carry, but who occasionally allows themselves to be vulnerable around them, the one person in their life who they trust unconditionally. both of them are extremely repressed, and the resulting unacknowledged homoerotic tension between them will make you want to tear your hair out.”

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there are only 2 Hyperfixation Moods™:

1. if i don’t consume every single piece of content related to this thing Right Now Immediately i will Literally Die

2. if i want the rewards of that sweet, sweet rush of serotonin then i have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of admitting to myself that i have interests

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me consuming fictional work after fictional work to distract myself from the fact that i exist: i can have little a escapism. as a treat.

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okay but did he ghost you or did he just get trapped in his flat for 2 weeks by a sentient hive of parasitic worms who stole his phone and no one bothered to check on him

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i’m just trying to chill but someone keeps trapping me in a cup and sliding a piece of paper under it and putting me outside

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me: i need a drink. want me to fix you anything?

dracula: no thank you. i never drink… wine

me: oh, me neither! this isn’t wine

dracula: *noticing the clear liquid in my glass* vodka, then-

me: it’s holy water

dracula:

me:

dracula: what

me: you heard me

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idk why vampire fiction always focuses on how painful transforming into a vampire is like that’s supposed to stop me or something. after all it’s only a little bit of pain for an eternity of sexy.

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instead of having unnecessary conflict between arts & humanities and STEM majors we should all just team up to bully the real losers: people who go to police academy

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god the way geralt brutally rejects jaskier as even a friend in episode 6 and jaskier’s decision to keep singing the tales of geralt’s heroic exploits regardless because he’s too devoted to him to just give up on him even after all the harsh things geralt said to him is utterly heartbreaking but it’s also kinda hilarious. like jaskier really was just like

image
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