#joint and a drive

[aurpiment]

I had a dream that I was watching The Terror again and it was… a bit different.

There was a plot where Francis Crozier was pregnant. Not by Fitzjames, no; they weren’t close like that. I think by someone who was 1) a casual hookup and 2) dead. He was confiding in Fitzjames about it, though, and complaining of breast soreness. Fitzjames asked him if he was sure he was pregnant and he said yes, that he recognized the symptoms from when he was younger, and then told a story about how his mother had helped him get an abortion when he was a teenager so he could pursue his then-incipient naval career.

Unfortunately, in the dream, I was watching this version of The Terror with my father and brother and they were confused. “But he’s a man! How is such a thing possible?”

“Transgender,” I explained impatiently, because it was obvious this was the direction the show had gone with the character, even though the actor playing him was still cisgender actor Jared Harris.

“But still, no way this would happen,” I added. “I mean, look at him. He’s GOT to be post-menopausal.”

#mt #this was like #well after the men had started dying #there’d been some disaster and the party had split and regathered #they’d gotten back onto the boat? #the ice had melted enough to sail a little? #mr hickey was there and kept trying to joint the conversation and Crozier kept telling him exasperatedly to drive the boat #all the while Crozier had a hand up his own shirt trying to relieve his #breast pain #anyway before you ask he DID have pale pink white person nipples. I seen them. #I think in the dream it was mastitis but that’s so rare antepartum #just one of the many ways the writing was unrealistic smdh! #but shout out to the imaginary Irish Catholic woman helping her kid get an abortion in like 1812. I DO want to believe. queen shit fr! #the terror #god Fitjames was such an idiot about it #it was like month four or five and he was like ‘do you think it could be a tumor’ #TUMORS DONT KICK HE JUST TOLD YOU IT WAS KICKING #DUMB ASS #but he was genuinely concerned as a friend so some crimes can be forgiven #francis crozier’s geriatric pregnancy hour #edit: the croziers were from ulster and Presbyterian. my bad! #sorry for calling his ma a Catholic do you forgive me

[fieriframes]

[ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? YEAH! AND THEIR WORDS WERE ONLY ACCIDENTS IN THE MUTUAL SILENCE? (bell dings) DINNER BELL FOR JANE AND ROGER!]

#s10e01 family joints #guy fieri #guyfieri #diners drive-ins and dives #mutual silence #bell dings #dinner bell #yeah #words #accidents #jane #roger

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

days where i have nothing to do: ohhhh im so sleepy im so so tired no one is more eepy than me

nights where i have to wake up at a set time: I Have Never Been More Awake In My Life

#help my eyes keep drifting back open #im trying all my tricks #cozy couch setup. whale shark plush to cling to. low lights. wendigoon iceberg in the bg. laughingstock imaginings in brain #IM WIDE TF AWAKE AND HAVE TO GET UP IN LESS THAN 7 HOURS #fuckfuckfuck did i pack my melatonin gummies already by mistake #i mean its not like i have to drive or anything #but id like to be... Aware. Available to converse with my dearest darling bestie #because i Am going to see my bestie! #absolutely unprompted #huh wait when was the last time i talked to a real life person in front of me. um. #its... been a couple weeks #NOT A MONTH YET THIS TIME! LESS THAN A MONTH! #but ohhhhh i am excited #tea with the homeslicebreadslice... joint Art creation.... #BEING OUT IN THE WORLD AHAHA I WILL BE TEMPORARILY FREE #clawing at the walls let me OUT #gonna start biting this house i swear to god #i cant wait to be free of it. i hope it burns in the next big wildfire #OK WAIT NEW PLAN. i washed my mug and i have chamomile tea #i will drink some warm soothing tea uhhhhh maybe re-read a fic? #willing myself not to read stamps for the millionth time. im gonna read stamps for the millionth time #listen listen i love it and also im starving for fic #one day i will contribute but for now im poking ao3 with a stick begging it to do something #Soon though. i have a feeling. a strong psychic feeling. #Soon... something will Appear... i know this because my third eye is open #also i know because i know. OR DO I #im so tired yet so awake at the same time #someone whack me over the head with a cartoon mallet so that i may go to sleep with little birdies circling my head #wait shit those are vultures. IM NOT DEAD YET FUCK OFF #please i need to go snzzzzzz.... my alarm will be Going Off...

[hella1975]

my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience #basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night #where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything #it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young #and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again #but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good #and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get #it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough #and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced #i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up #and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it #and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN #TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY #and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it #im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday #what is even going on anymore #also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do #actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk #and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd #i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3 #hella goes home

[cookinguptales]

man, I don't know if it's like. residual emotional effects from yesterday, the physical toll it took on my body, hormones or just like. a general sense of malaise. but I just kind of want to lie in bed and cry today.

I just finished a work project, which is generally call for celebration, but I just. every time I try to work on a creative project instead, I feel like everything I make is awful. every time I try to just veg and watch something, I feel like I'm wasting my time. my brain is very... scratchy today, for lack of a better word.

idk, maybe I'm just mentally exhausted. I had to put on kind of a brave and friendly face for most of yesterday, but it was a pretty awful experience. the actual migraine(?) was terrifying, especially because the experience wasn't anything like other migraines I've had, the tests were stressful and painful and I'm having quite a few physical effects today because of them. and no matter how often it happens to me, there's something so specifically demoralizing about paying several hundred dollars to go to the hospital and stay there all day just for them to say "good news! we can't find anything wrong!" like that makes you feel any better at all when something clearly is.

idk how I feel so simultaneously over and underwhelmed today.

#vent post #I'd usually go for a walk to air out my brain but uh #let's just say that my body is very unhappy about some things that happened to it yesterday #plus the overall ache that comes from tensing up for an hour for an MRI #my joints are so fragile today and it's driving me nuts #I had to hold the call button in a weird angle during the MRI and MRA yesterday and my fingers hurt like hell by the end #and this morning they just won't do fucking anything I want #and they had to give me a large dose of zofran because I have bad reactions to MRI contrast #and uhhhhh let's just say that I'm not having a great reaction to that rn either #plus after all those attempts with the IV my arms are one big bruise #I'm whining sorry but today everything feels like a lot #maybe just feeling the things I didn't have space to yesterday idk

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

typically whenever put into a fight or flight situation my brain chooses “fight”. want an example?? ok!!

when i got the notification saying “dan and phil finally tell the truth” i was filled with terror. so instead of not watching it (flight), my fear turned instantly into uncontrollable rage. i started SCREAMING at the video the following: “NO THEY FUCKING DONT!! YOU ARENT TELLING US SHIT!! I DONT WANNA KNOW!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHIT UP!! FUCK YOU!!” while clicking on the video and sitting through the advert. got through the video a shaking mess. need to do some breathing exercises.

glad to know that the video was what all joint content has been since they came out: oversharing about their shared s*x life without giving specifics of their relationship. like yes kings leave me in the dark. don’t tell me shit. i don’t wanna know <3

so that’s the story of how my psychological response to the video was to throw hands with dan and phil through my phone because i am sane and healthy and normal

#dnp #dan and phil #phan #amazingphil #daniel howell #dystopia daily #phil lester #guys my chest is so tight #one day i’ll be able to watch joint content for the first time without feeling physically i’ll #i just have this constant fear that they’re gonna gaslight me akdbdkhfkdhfjd #idk how to explain it i just have a very fragile grip on reality that is ready to shatter at any minute #my biggest fear is that i’ll encounter something that will make me completely reassess reality #like i often feel afraid that i will look outside and see cartoon bread driving a toaster bc of that episode of rick and morty #what would i do if i saw that?? how would i cope?? i would simply cease to exist #anyway i’m insane 😃 and i’m allowed to say that bc i am actually insane ask my psychiatrist #hope you got through that phannies even though i know for a fact that you didn’t #i didn’t either i’m dissociating now #danisnotonfire #dan howell #yeet my deet

[hoperays-song]

Minor Crimes in the Name of Love

#sing 2 #sing johnny #sing ryan #johnny just took his dad's truck #marcus was informed with a note on the counter (he didnt mind but did still call johnny to tell him to drive safe) #college student ryan my beloved #ryan walked out of his morning class to find johnny had brought home cooked food flowers and coffee #johnny is nothing if not thorough #yes marcus and johnny currently have joint custody of the truck #yes that leads to custody fights a fair bit #yes those fights are hysterical to watch #this was during one of the very few week long breaks at the majestic where they both went home #separation anxiety hit them hard apparently

[planet4546b]

guy who perpetually gives every character he can get his hands on long term chronic joint injuries: my knee isnt really that big a problem for me Lol all of that clearly means nothing

#pers #i have been doing this. For. Years. ANY character i can grab. #last night i was driving to practice running thgouh a list of kh characters and thinking which ones have which joint injuries #and went....Hey do you think this means anything? no probably not. #and then proceeded to overwork my knee at practice and have to wear my brace at work today LOL #idk its like. its a minor thing to me but also this has been happening since 2019 and i still dont know why #and its starting to get consistently more of an issue #anyways. come to me to the world where riku has upper back pain + tennis elbow

[big-tees-and-short-skirts]

healthcare bullshit cw

HEY. LOCAL HOSPITAL. WHY DUD I HAVE TO FUCKING CALL TO FIND OUT WHICH PROCEDURE IM GETTING TOMORROW MORNING?!?!? NO INSTRUCTIONS SENT, JUST, "dont eat or drink for 4 hrs pls," AND NOTHING ELSE?!???

heres a baby snapper to apologize for the caps spam <3 thats about to follow

#upper GI means SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS #imaging means SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS #ESPECIALLY TO A LAYMAN #'so i called the imaging dept and they said ur doing a barium swallo--' WHY DIDNT U JUST SAY THAT INSTEAD OF 'UPPER GI. CHECK IN HOSPITAL' #im so fucking done w this place #guess ill be driving 2 hrs to the next hospital for now on cuz FUCK THIS SHIT #MY DAD IS TAKING TIME OFF WORK BC WE THOUGHT I WAS GETTING SEDATED FOR AN ENDOSCOPY (also called upper gi BTW 🙃) #im so tired of my dysmotility and my joint pain and my migraines yall. i wish i wasnt fucking allergic to THE ONLY MEDICINE that fix me #i had to take ANTIPSYCHOTIC TRANQS for 5 days that have flared up ALL OF MY PROBLEMS #bc my GI told me i cant take fucking steroids. #im probably gonna be fucking hospitalizwd fir this damn migraine and my GI cant fucking tell me if IM GONNA BE SEDATED OR NOT #OR WHAT PROCEDURE IM DOING TMRW #🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪 #... #okay rants over 🤥<-lying #healthcare #cant believe im gonna say this but my healthcare was exponentially better in Georgia than in Illinois #i had better care in middle of nowhere georgia than FUCKING CHICAGO #i go a school famous for its medicine school.... #now class imagine if this was happening to an old person living alone w a million health problems and no techsavvy #or strong self advocacy skills 🤗 #wouldn't that just be fucked up 🤗

[fieriframes]

[YOU CONFRONTED YOUR SORROW. LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW. WHILE THE REST OF THE WORLD ONLY LAUGHED. WELL DONE. NOW I KNOW WHY YOU'VE BEEN IN SO MANY COMPETITIONS, WHY YOU WON SO MANY.]

#s03e02 neighborhood joints #guy fieri #guyfieri #diners drive-ins and dives #well done #many competitions #sorrow #tomorrow #rest #world

[hellotherepaul]

The past few weeks I've been sleeping until the very last minute and rushing to work right

But I actually got up with my first alarm, meaning I have time to have my morning joint and coffee on the front porch :-)

Like God, having time before work in the morning to listen to music and sit outside and drink my coffee and smoke my weed and have my little ritual is so fucking good for me

#m.txt #rambles #2.5 hours before i need to leave-gives me time to wake up actually make coffee at home smoke a joint and have me time #with enough time to sober up to drive to work

[hollowrosedolls]

My outfit for my Resinsoul Song came today! He’s currently blank because it’s been way too humid lately to do his face up, but I have everything else for him so he’s going on display anyway.

#ball jointed doll #bjd #doll #resinsoul #resinsoul song #the ribbon is driving me crazy I’ll fix it eventually lol

[kakashihasibs]

It's an ibuprofen kind of morning

#x_x #i have to drive a lot today #pray for my joints 😭