#jokes on him premium is free now

[faebaex]

Hello! Congrats on 500 followers! For your event, could I have Riddle with a GN reader. Maybe he has a crush on the reader but doesn't intend to tell them, but when he gifts them their Valentine's chocolates, he ends up in an accidental confession.

Roses are Red...

author note: eee this was such a cute request, i enjoyed writing it! i like to think that Riddle is so in control and prepared all the time that when something unexpected happens, especially in a situation like this, he becomes all flustered (≧◡≦) ♡ thank you for waiting, i hope you enjoy it!!

characters: Riddle Rosehearts x GN!Reader

Riddle was flustered.

His fingers kept toying with the meticulously tied ribbon that adorned the box of chocolates in his hand, skewing it away from its previous perfection. He sighed as he fixed it back into place, the crease in his brow and the purse of his lips showing that something was on his mind. He was nervous.

Riddle had been pacing the floorboards of his room since he had finished his morning routine, the box of chocolates clutched in his hand. He had prepared the chocolates last night, especially for you. But now he agonised how he was going to give them to you, he wanted to gift you these chocolates because he knew how important the holiday was to you, but he certainly didn’t want to confess his feelings to you. He wasn’t ready! And besides, he had to focus on his studies, and he had his duties as Housewarden, and…

He sighed as he continued to pace around his bedroom. He had deliberately prepared some chocolates for his dorm, to present at the next unbirthday party so that the chocolates for you would seem less suspicious. It was just a friend giving chocolates to their friend on one of their favourite holidays. Perfectly normal, right? But… How did a friend give chocolates to their friend without it seeming like a confession? This is the question that Riddle was agonising over in the early hours of the morning.

Eventually, he settled on mentally preparing a script. If he stayed on script and recited it with enough preparedness, there is no way he could fail. He’d be able to deliver these friendship chocolates to you in a friendly manner and there is no way you could get any idea that you were anything more than just friends and he wouldn’t accidentally spill out all his feelings for you. If he just switched his thinking and approached this situation like he would an exam or assessment, there is no way he could fail. Confident in this approach, Riddle began to prepare his script in his head, ready to confess present you the chocolates later in the day…

You were sitting in the courtyard with Ace, Deuce and Grim, giggling as Ace lamented his complete lack of admirers on Valentine’s Day, coming up with wilder and wilder ways to justify why no one had come forward to confess their feelings to him. Deuce hadn’t received any Valentine’s gifts either but was nowhere near as bothered about it as Ace was. In fact, none of you had received any Valentine’s gift, which wasn’t unexpected, but only Ace was hilariously under the impression that he had a whole parade of admirers that were either too shy, suddenly struck with illness or suddenly out of the country to give him a gift today.

“Well, I have my Valentine riiight here.” You said with a cheeky smile, reaching out to tug affectionately at Grim’s cheeks, “I’ll buy you premium tuna tonight.” Grim’s eyes lit up and he celebrated loudly, hopping up and down as Ace rolled his eyes and Deuce tried to get him to quieten down. You continued to laugh and joke with your friends, enjoying a rare spot of free time with your friends that was not taken up by clubs or cramming for midterms. You were teasing Ace when a loud clearing of throat sounded, and both the Heartslabyul boys froze like they’d been caught in a nefarious act.

“Ace. Deuce. Shouldn’t you two be studying for your upcoming alchemy exam? I’m sure you are aware of what the consequences are if you were to bring a bad grade back to the dorm?”

Riddle stood behind Ace and Deuce, his hand behind his back as he stared sternly at the two. The frigid reminder was all the pair needed before they were making their escape, giving you a quick goodbye before their dormleader could start lecturing them any further. You smiled at the scene, a usual sight as you gathered your own belongings together, preparing to leave yourself. Another, softer clearing of throat stopped you, however, and you looked up to see Riddle staring at you, his posture stiff and expression stiffer. “May I have a word, Y/N?” Riddle asked, his tone as clipped as when he spoke with Ace and Deuce.

“Of course.” You responded with a smile, settling back down on the wall. Perhaps he had something on his mind, he appeared rather tense today… Or maybe he was going to scold you for distracting Ace or Deuce too much? Deciding to give Riddle the privacy he’d appreciate or alternatively save Grim from his wrath, you leaned forward and patted Grim on the head, “go get yourself a premium can on tuna, then.” That was all you needed to say, you could practically see the tuna cans in his eyes as he dashed off with a triumphant laugh, leaving you and Riddle alone. You patted the empty spot on the wall next you, signalling for Riddle to sit beside you with a kind smile.

Meanwhile, Riddle had mentally blue screened. He hadn’t even started yet, and everything was already off script! That smile and the way you kindly offered him a seat, he hadn’t factored any of that into his mental scenarios when he imagined how this would play out. His cheeks burnt red before he could stop them, and his palms began to sweat as he clutched the box of chocolates behind his back. Suddenly, the script he had carefully crafted became jumbled in his mind, and he began to stutter as he approached the wall, noting your eyebrow raise at his sudden flustered behaviour. He clutched the box of chocolates tighter, only for them to slip in his grip and tumble onto the grass.

“Oh!” You immediately hopped up, eager to help as Riddle scrambled to pick up the box and regain any of his previous composure as you knelt to help him. “Are you okay? What is that?”

Riddle froze as your fingers grazed his as you picked up the box of chocolates and dusted it off gently, staying knelt as you offered the box back to him. His face exploded in colour, the redness on his face almost similar to how he looks when someone has triggered his temper. Riddle felt completely disarmed, his heart racing and his words coming out in stutters.

“I-i… I made them for you…” Riddle cringed at how flustered his voice sounded, averting his eyes as he refused to take the box back from you. Your eyes finally fell to the box in your hand, looking at it properly for the first time. The box was black, with a simple rose design and a beautiful red ribbon tied around it. You stared at it for a moment, your mind taking a second to comprehend the seriousness of the gift, especially today. “Oh. Oh.”

Riddle sprang up, taking your utterance to mean the worst and clambering to retain at least some of his dignity. “W-well I, a-actually I made them because… W-what I mean to say is—” Words spilled past his lips incoherently as he struggled to regain control of the situation, his cheeks feeling hot, and his heart gripped with dread. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, and he was still stuttering when you rose to your feet, box still in your hands. He looked anywhere but at you, unable to meet your eyes during such a colossal embarrassment.

“Riddle.”

He stiffened again when your voice called to him, having no choice but to finally turn his eyes to you. What he saw was not what he expected and made his heart leap in his chest – you directed a dazzling smile at him as you clutched the box happily in your hands, your eyes soft and staring directly into his. “Thank you, Riddle… This really means a lot. I love it.” Your smile was so genuine, so infectious that he felt a shy tugging of his own lips the more he looked at you.

“Say…” You began, your voice soft as you spoke, “Grim is probably going to be at Sam’s shop for a while, would you maybe like to… Take a walk with me?”

Riddle felt a fresh wave of blush rush to his cheeks, unnoticeable considering how red he already was and felt his heart soar at your words. Taking a deep breath and a short moment to compose himself, he gave you a small, appreciative smile for your discretion over his flustered state, “Yes, I would like that.”

You gave him another dazzling smile that just about took his breath away as you quickly scooped up your belongings and returned to his side, your arm brushing against his playfully as you began your walk together.

Sometimes, silence tells us more than words ever could.

#twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts x y/n #twst riddle #riddle x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader

[gabessquishytum]

Retired Dream AU except instead of dealing with the horrors of a weak, wretched human body, he's still a little bit superhuman. He has the same immortality deal as Hob, but he has the premium subscription. Human Plus. Excellent immune system, bruises heal exceptionally quickly, he doesn't get sunburned...little bonus features like that. You know how people say toddlers are made of rubber, like they can fall and bonk their heads and get right back up and keep playing? Dream is like that, but kind of literally--he's very flexible and elastic, he just bounces back after any small injury.

Another fun thing about this new human body of his: he's like, super into butt stuff. He liked to bottom before, when he was Endless, but it's different now--the sensations are so much stronger and he can't get enough. He and Hob are both very excited about this discovery, as well as the fact that Dream is a total size queen. Hob has a big dick, but Dream wants to go bigger. At first Hob was worried about Dream tearing and getting hurt, but he just stretches so nicely and easily when Hob fists him. And afterwards his hole goes back to being nice and tight, but it doesn't hurt the next time Hob stretches him open. Another perk of being a little bit more than human.

Hob is extremely horny about this and starts buying Dream various XL monster dildos, all of which Dream thoroughly enjoys. And he just takes them so easily! Hob jokes that he should show off his talents and start an Onlyfans, and Dream just smirks and gives him The 1789 Look. Turns out Dream is also a bit of an exhibitionist, and it would also be an excellent way to piss off Desire. Hob and Dream end up being one of the most popular couples on Onlyfans (they don't show their faces, of course, for their own safety) while Desire is furious and desperately trying to ignore all the people who suddenly desire to see more of their brother's asshole.

Retired Dream becoming an onlyfans creator is truly the most galaxy brain thing I've ever read.

Hob could honestly quit his job and become Dream’s full time social media manager and camera man at this point. Their page is free to view, since they were never really doing it for the money, but Dream gets so many tips and requests for custom content! He's absolutely raking in a fortune (which also ticks Desire off - not only are people thinking about Dream’s arsehole, they're actively PAYING for it).

Dream really enjoys posting reviews for toys, partly because brands have taken to sending him their biggest and best models to try. He'll show the audience the toy in detail, make remarks about the flexibility and the weight, and of course the girth. Dream has the perfect voice for porn and even if his toy reviews don't have as much sexual content as the other videos, they get insanely popular just because Dream talks so nicely. There's a solid portion of viewers who use the videos to help them sleep at night, which makes Dream feel such a lovely connection to his former function.

Dream's human(plus) body has insane flexibility, so Hob also brushes off his shibari skills and they make a whole series of videos where Dream just gets tied up in insane ways. At the end Hob usually puts a monster dildo in him, cause he deserves it. They get so many comments speculating about Dream’s workout routine because he can do these insane things, and every video has to have a DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME disclaimer.

Also they have a whole blooper reel of Hob trying to bend himself/stretch himself into Dream’s favourite positions. Needless to say, Hob may be a slut but he's going to leave the extreme stuff to Dream. The one time he got stuck home alone with his feet around his head and a XXL dildo stuck inside him was MORE than enough to put him off trying again (that one DID make Desire laugh, tbh).

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft

[infinite-criseas]

Never Let Go

Remus, James, and Peter awaited restlessly at the castle gates for the Sirius’s arrival. They had all just gone home for the break which was only a week but felt much longer for all of them. After mere minutes that felt like hours, the long awaited carriage arrived.

Sirius stepped out with a jovial grin on his face, “I see the sinners await their leader” He laughed and bowed dramatically, like a circus ring leader. The boys clapped sarcastically as Sirius ran to hug them all, with quick quips on how they faired over break. When he went to hug his boyfriend, Remus noticed Sirius stiffen a bit to which he instinctively rubbed his back only to have Sirius pull away. This was not new or strange behavior from Sirius, Remus noticed Sirius would often return like this after time with his family. A guttural rage boiled within him at the thought of the horrors the Black family had inflicted on his precious boyfriend.

“We’re not going to have to wait another year for you two to kiss are we?” James joked, reminiscing on the heated tension Sirius and Remus had when they were just friends. Sirius scoffed at the remark and grabbed Moonys face to give a quick peck on the lips.

“That’s all the show I’m giving for free, you’ll have to pay us for premium content” Sirius teased. As the jokes calmed down, James noticed Reggie standing silently, watching this whole scene from a couple feet away.

“Don’t think we forgot about you, Reg!” James chortled, wrapping his arm around Reggie’s neck. Reggie shook it off and grumbled something incoherent as he picked up his bags and headed straight for his room. “We’ll see you at the dining hall in 10 then?” James called out, a little taken aback from the lack of reciprocation.

“Don’t worry about him, he’ll come around” Sirius said to James, “Let’s eat boys… I’m starved” Remus decided to take Sirius’a bags up for him to let him catch up with the gang. As Remus wandered off alone, he couldn’t help but concern over how over the top Sirius has been since he’s gotten back. I mean Sirius was always over the top, but this felt different.

Remus tried to make eye contact with Sirius over the course of the night, but Sirius kept dodging it. Finally as James, Peter, Marlene, Dorcas, and Lily (they’d picked up more friends through dinner) left for bed, Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand to stop him from following the group.

Remus lead Sirius into a hidden corridor. Sirius looked up at Remus, overwhelming exhaustion in his eyes. He tried to smile but tears filled his eyes and he collapsed onto Remus in a pain filled sob.

“I’m sorry Moony” Sirius managed to blubber through tears “please forgive me”

“Whatever for my love?” Remus calm voice relieved Sirius who was in desperate need of comfort. Remus held Sirius tightly as his sobs calmed down, he stroked his back reassuringly and gave soft pecks on his head.

“I tried to be happy for you, I tried like I did for everyone else.. but you saw straight through me immediately and I don’t want you to have to see me like this, especially when we should be fucking in reuniting bliss right now” Sirius stammered, snorting out a laugh at the end.

“It’s ok. It’s ok. You don’t need to pretend for me, Pads. I love you, and honestly I was more concerned than upset. Post mental breakdown sex always hits different anyway.” A slight chuckle. Sirius was almost cradled across Remus’s body.

“Never let go” Sirius whispered as the memories of last week came flooding back. The torture, the pain, the arguing. He never wanted to go back to his family. He never would go back again.

“I won’t” Remus whispered kissing his boyfriend’s hands. “I promise.”

#marauders #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #the marauders #remus x sirius #mauraders era

[silkylovey]

Overpriced oil change?

You were out with your girlfriends chatting about boys, shopping, and gossiping about the people you disliked. They were still shocked that Rafe was your boyfriend and got his shit on track. When you announced your relationship they thought that you were joking but when they saw you together they all fell from their chair.

Emily always showed you a TikTok prank to do to him and today she showed you the prank where you tell your boyfriend that you paid 500 dollars for an oil change and that you got premium air in your tires for 500 dollars too. You accepted the challenge.

After lunch with the girls, Rafe asked for you to come over to his house, he told you that Ward and Rose weren't home with a smirky emoji, you knew what he meant by that.

Arriving at Cameron's house, you opened the door and yelled "Honey, I am home" to let Rafe know that you arrived. You went to the kitchen and propped your phone behind the paper towels. He came in shortly after, greeting you with a kiss. He chatted about his work in the garden while you sat on a high chair.

"Oh by the way babe, I went to the garage to get my oil changed and the mechanic lowered to price because it was me. I only had to pay 410," you said 4 and 10 so that he wouldn't pick the number up directly.

"Four dollars and ten cents, that's a good deal."

"No 410 dollars," you told him while he moved towards you, he sat on the chair next to you and looked at you with big eyes.

"Babe, you're messing- you did not spend 410 dollars."

"Yes, I did," you said while nodding your head.

"And you paid them 410 dollars for an oil change?"

"Yes and I also got premium air in my tires."

Now he was smiling but his smile was amused, he was amused by your little trip to the garage.

"Baby, please oh please tell me what is premium air?"

"I don't know but it's better for the tires, that what the worker said."

"How much was the premium air?"

"I don't know, I didn't look at the bill, I just paid the total 410," you said while lifting your shoulder up as if it was normal to pay 410 dollars for an oil change and "premium air".

"That doesn't make sense. I pay 35 bucks for an oil change and the air for your tires is free at Shell. Where did you go, babe?"

"I went to Jiffy Lube."

"We got to go there."

"Yeah, you should go there. It was a good deal."

"Good deal? Y/n, are you kidding right now?" he was really into this, and he believed you. You started to feel bad so you gave up.

"Baby, it's a prank," as you said that his shoulders dropped without him even noticing how tense he was, he just stood up from his chair and kissed you again and again.

#rafe fluff #rafe obx #silkylovey #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron social media au #rafe x you #obx fanfiction #obx fic #outer banks #rafe fanfiction #rafe x reader #outerbanks rafe

[observeowl]

Nobody N.R

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: R abusive family background haunts her at night and Natasha comes to calm her down.

You had a very bad childhood and abusive parents. They were more physical with you in your younger days and it slowly transcends into verbal. You couldn’t get away because they would always cuff your legs to a pole while you endure their beatings. They were clever enough to only beat where you could cover. And mind you, they were rich, you had no idea why they would turn to you when they already have everything. You tried to confide in someone but they didn’t believe you, so eventually, you stopped trying. 

The team thought Natasha was cold enough but when you came in, you were even more stoic than Natasha when she first joined. You didn’t give a reaction when the team was making a joke. Only talking when needed to. 

You moved into the tower because you once helped Tony win a legal case. You know, him and his many lawsuits. You know the Avengers but you hardly talked to them, only the passing hi and bye. Most of the time was spent in one of the empty office rooms because you needed a lot of space for your papers. 

You had moved into the tower because your house lease was up and you had nowhere else to stay. Your parents are alive but you would never go to them, not after what they have done to you. They, however, are always asking for your help after getting into dirty business. You would help them, but not before charging a premium for your work.

Natasha has a little crush on you. When she has to leave for work, she always makes sure to take the long way to pass by your office to see you working. As the time you spend with the team is rare, any team activity with you in, she would definitely go. She would go as far as to ask you personally if you were attending. You enjoyed her presence so you almost always say yes. 

One day, after a movie night that you attended, you went back to your room to sleep. But not without a nightmare. With everything your parents have done to you, they still had high expectations. Coming from a rich family, everyone expects their child to succeed and climb the social ladder. You can’t escape the cuff even when you’re studying. You tried to break out of the cuff but it only made your ankle bled. 

Fire was your friend and your foe. Your parent’s house caught on fire and the structures were falling everywhere. It managed to snap the pole you were tied to, allowing you to move, but still with the cuff on your legs. You’re free to move so now what? Fire and smoke were everywhere, burning your lungs as you tried to breathe. You covered your nose and mouth and tried to find an escape route but a beam fell on your back. You screamed as you pushed yourself up. Time was running out. Your parents weren't going to put windows in your room so the only way out is through the door. You slammed your body against the door, hoping there isn’t anything behind it. The door burst open, sending a heat wave towards you. It was a maze trying to navigate your way out as shelves fell on the ground. 

Nat next door could hear your scream. Your nightmare was regular but it was never this bad, she could even hear you thrashing in bed. Nat opened the door and your bed was in a mess, your cover and pillows on the floor and you were kneeling in bed. Nat came close to you with her hands in front of her but you slapped it away.

“I just want to help.” You continued to look at Nat with your blood shot eyes, panting heavily as you tried to hold yourself up. Nat touched your forehead and you stopped shaking. Nat’s hand slowly made it’s way down to your chin. Nat’s face slowly inched forward and wrapped her lips in yours. “I want to help you because I love you.” 

“You- you love me?” 

“I love you. That’s why I always asked if you were attending team activities. I always take the long route down just to see you in your office. I never attend those events without you.” 

“But- but I am a child that nobody wants. Nobody cares. All they want is- is I don’t even know… they just don’t want me. I am nothing.” You ran your hands through your hair and knees tucked close to you. Nat wrapped her arms around you and pulled you closer.

“I want you. I’m going to protect you. You’re not going to get hurt again.” Nat assured you as she rubbed her hand along your arms. You shook your head. “Let’s go back to sleep okay?” You allowed yourself to collapse onto Nat’s body as you tried to sleep. Nat was still rubbing small circles on your arms until your breathing evens out. 

The next morning you woke up in the same position and Natasha was already awake. “Good morning love.” You humed. “Are you feeling better?” You humed again. “Let’s shower and go down okay?” You nodded your head and followed Nat in. Nat grabbed a change of clothes for you and changed into yours as well. “Want to head down now?” She grabbed your hand.

“I love you too.” You said out of nowhere.

“You love me or you love the ground.” She teased you for looking at the ground.

“You. I love you.” You faced her this time. She smiled and continued dragging you to the living room. Everyone was looking at the both of you as you walked in.

“What’s wrong guys?” 

“We didn’t know cold and cold could get together. But I wonder if they make hot together?” Tony remarked.

“I went to find you Nat, but you were not in your room. FRIDAY told me where you were.” Wanda continued.

“You guys better not do anything funny. She’s mine now.” Nat raised the hand that both of you had intertwined. Your face was nearly the same colour as Nat’s hair. No one cared so much about you before. She gave you a kiss on the cheek before pulling you to the kitchen.

#natasha romanoff #black widow #mcu #marvel mcu #mcu fanfiction #tony stark #inspired by korean drama #whatevenisthis #natasha x reader #natasha x you #nobody #my writing

[fionarara]

HIPSTER KENMA PART 2 WHEN PLEASEEEEE IM OBSESSED

nonni all caps ?? for hipster kenma ?? i thought this idea was an incredibly niche thing in my odd brain which would legit get like zero interaction, i straight up wrote it mostly for myself, so this is a v pleasant surprise (Ｔ▽Ｔ) also, this got longer than expected, but since you requested it with such enthusiasm, i wanted to add in a little extra detail as a treat for you ♡

+ hipster ! kenma . pt. 2 .

(+ part 1 ⇢)

+ hipster ! kenma who feeds his hairless sphynx cat gluten-free food, because he wouldn’t feed his cat a certain diet that he isn’t also on himself

+ hipster ! kenma who thinks much of the fashion industry’s antics are ridiculous for being so overpriced (and that some of their practices can be harmful to the environment), but will drop $375 bucks at a carefully curated, high-end, second-hand designer fashion shop in the arts district on a fresh pair of black jeans, ones that already come pre-ripped and are conveniently labeled as having a 'distressed' look. so edgy. clearly, who needs logical pricing when you can pay a premium to look like you've been through a barbed wire fence? + hipster ! kenma dislikes coffee, because not only is it so acidic on the PH scale, the entire culture surrounding the popular brew (–and yes, he really did call coffee, “the popular brew” when explaining this to you) is so aggressive in prevalent society, as it seemingly promotes an inherent overly capitalist mindset that is so patriarchal. instead, he opts for ~matcha with lion’s mane extract~ for better concentration and whenever he needs a pick-me-up. besides, he prefers things being more chill and calm anyway, and coffee makes him feel too jittery and whacked out + hipster ! kenma doesn’t actually have the best grasp on crypto or stock trading, but from believing and claiming he did, got yaku involved in also investing in that one reddit gamestop stock with him. unfortunately, due to a bad call of not pulling the shares out in time, they lost a considerable amount of money. L. but as short-tempered as yaku used to be, he’s mellowed-out in his older years and only blames himself in the end for even listening to hipster kenma in the first place. anyway it’s cool–when yaku came to visit town from russia, he got taken out by hipster kenma for an evening of partying, all drinks and party drugs on him, as a sort of apology for the risky financial loss—the night ended with the both of them on the floor crying together from reminiscing about past memories and ‘the good ole days’, sheesh + hipster ! kenma who sometimes seems like he hates you, but gets a bit of a kick out of you bringing it up, because whenever you do, he gets to playfully remind you he’s just in resting mode or deep in thought by making the same joke every time, “that’s just my cunty cat face” + hipster ! kenma who is prone to getting some pretty gnarly anxiety at times, so he takes these 15mg edible marijuana gummies to chill himself out. his favorite flavor of THC gummy bear from the packet you gifted him, and which he now regularly takes, is salted caramel and dark chocolate + hipster ! kenma will drag you to see an arthouse docufilm about the music history of video games with modular synthesizers, etc. at this little blackbox theater, complaining that those big blockbuster movie chains are ripping you off by charging way too much for mainstream crap, but then he proceeds to overpay for an overpriced, organic, effervescent, raw kombucha drink once you arrive at the little indie theater (he definitely thinks buying soda at the movie theater is beneath him, “the way i see it, if you want a soda at least make it, like, an actual appropriate setting, go to a carnival and have it with a corn dog.”)

+ hipster ! kenma loves street food. will take you to the local art walk/night market festivals once a month, fascinated by tasting all the different street food vendors and scoping out the community art scene, he’ll even end up treating you with a tasty treat every time from one of the booths. although he doesn’t particularly love overly sweet things, he will especially eat any sweetly-glazed savory snack that comes on a stick. one thing about him that you’ve come to appreciate though is that he doesn’t just gobble down his food, no, hipster kenma actually enjoys taking the time to savor what he consumes while giving insightful commentary on the food’s flavoring, etc. + hipster ! kenma who DIYs…many things, because he figures, let’s be honest, other people can’t be relied upon to make things correctly, not by his standards. especially when it comes to his computer, which of course he built himself: it has a fully transparent case so you can see right through to the whole display of all dazzling gear and deco inside of it, and in his words it had to be, “a state of the art custom loop with full liquid cooling”. you admit the inner flashing lights are pretty and the computer is definitely so decked out, that it's for sure one of the coolest things you’ve ever seen.

+ hipster ! kenma kinda has this weird thing that if he didn’t think of a cool idea for his twitch stream first after seeing it from another popular streamer, then he acts like it’s kinda inherently stupid, mentions how blasé it is to you and his friends, even if deep down he does find the idea interesting or appealing and probably, most definitely, would’ve adopted it himself 

+ hipster ! kenma who can oftentimes hold the belief that adopting a cynical and pessimistic outlook on life makes one more intelligent and analytical, even more sophisticated or enhances his overall cleverness of mind, sad + hipster ! kenma is hot. okay. in such an understated way, which all the more makes him hotter, though he’s not fully aware of his own appeal, or perhaps only mildly—actually attracts a fair amount of bitches when he goes out to the dive bars or local music shows, ones who aren’t intimidated by his sort of mysterious appearance or superior demeanor which is bound to come off a little pretentious, but in truth, he’s actually a bit insecure and shy about being approached so often and therefore tends to stay pretty silent when that happens, unsure of how to fully deal/cope with someone who is being so direct about their interest in him. ultimately prefers the slow get-to-know-you burn when it comes to any romance: a friends first, lovers later kind of thing + hipster ! kenma is incredibly observant, especially in social situations and mostly prefers to just take everything in, only speaking when he has something truly poignant to say … or when an opportunity strikes to completely, calmly, eviscerate someone’s inane or ignorant opinion, delivering a point so smooth, he’ll crush their shitty take all in a such a demure, cool, collected and resolute manner to the point where the dumbass person in question doesn’t even know they’ve been schooled and insulted by him until the roar of jeers and laughter from the surrounding crowd are heckling the unbeknownst fool, sick burn hipster kenma + hipster ! kenma only dares to wear brighter colors when at the beach and the item of clothing is a hoodie (proclaims it’s a light and breathable one though sooo he’s not sure what everyone is making such a fuss over when you, hinata, kuroo and the rest of your beach crew kick up some sand towards him while chiming in unison to urge him to, “take it off! we’re by the ocean, bruh!”) – the brightest colors of those hoodies ever worn at the beach are either a pale mustard, burnt amber, or white with possible cool textile designs. not only that, but he’ll stick to the shade beneath the large beach parasol playing on his nintendo switch, because listen, he isn’t about to get skin cancer on account of the toxic chemicals they put in sunscreen these days just so he can catch some rays (which of course, the sun could also give one cancer) + hipster ! kenma has these annoyingly long pretty dark lashes which are framed so nicely by his non-prescription clear frame glasses, and every so often you will playfully grumble to him about how unfair that is, since he’s a boy and doesn’t even care that he’s got them, then proceed to joke by asking him to give you some of those lashes since he doesn’t in fact need all of them for looks. he’ll respond by lightly chuckling and referencing that one Clockwork Orange film scene where the main character’s eyes are forced to remain horrifically clamped open, slyly suggesting, “if you can manage to get me in a position like that, then and only then, can you have them” but don’t bother, he continues, because you’ll never get past him~~ + hipster ! kenma who, no matter what he seems like on the surface, you know in the end that he’s undeniably ride or die for his friends, 10/10 will always always have their back, willingly giving them a hand without making a big deal of it + hipster ! kenma shelled out quite a hefty price on his ‘Beats by Dre’ headphones, even though as a self-proclaimed audiophile he knows they’re nowhere near being the best on the market, only bought them for the clout, and walks around town wearing them or for his twitch streams + hipster ! kenma secretly cries to bon iver, sufjan stevens, james blake, ryuichi sakamoto, erykah badu, nick cave and portishead when he’s alone + hipster ! kenma watches a looot of documentaries 

+ hipster ! kenma owns this cat shirt ↴ doesn’t wear it out in public though, only to bed, and has had it so long it’s already starting to fray at the sleeves and shoulder's seams:

+link2masterlist.

#🔌fifi's delivery service #maybe a part 3 someday in the far off future - but it’ll be pretty short because hipster kenma weirdly exhausts me #haha i think i’ll still bring him up every now and then because i know this kind of guy too well #feel free to come chat with me about him though bc i can answer any hc about this dude eeeasily #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #hq headcanons #kenma headcanons #haikyuu #hq #kenma x reader #hq x reader #kenma kozume headcanons #kenma kozume x reader #kenma #kenma kozume #haikyuu x you #hq x you #kenma x you #kenma kozume x you #haikyuu headcanon #haikyuu hcs #kenma headcanon #kenma headcanon #haikyuu!! #hq!! #hipster

[middleearthpixie]

Brilliant Disguise ~ Chapter Eight

Summary: Speech therapist Josephine Asharm has been brought into Erebor to work with Bifur, but trying to find her place among people who eye her suspiciously would be difficult enough under normal circumstances, but when Sophie finds herself caught between the king, his most trusted lieutenant, and the dwarf she’s there to help? She’s certain no good can come of it. Being of Man, not only does she stand out in the dwarf kingdom, she’s not entirely certain she’s actually welcome there at all. 

Thorin only agreed to allow Sophie to live amongst them out of a sense of duty to Bifur, who is recovering from an odd head injury (is there any other way to describe having an axe blade lodged in one’s head, only to have it later dislodged during the Battle of the Five Armies?) Before the battle, he spoke only khuzdul. But since it? He’s regained the ability to speak Westron—if only he could but remember any of it. As for Thorin? He’s trying his damndest to ignore the speech therapist, not to mention his own growing feelings for her, even as he is also recovering from his near fatal wounding in the same battle. 

Both Sophie and Thorin are haunted by their pasts and are uncertain of their futures, but sometimes, chances must be taken…  

A/N: I want to apologize for the slow updates, I haven’t been in a great headspace to write, and with the semester starting this week, my free time is going to be at a premium, so updates will be even slower. Thanks so much for your patience…

Summary: Thorin gives Sophie that tour, and she begins to open up to him about her past

Pairings: Thorin Oakenshield x OFC Josephine (Sophie) Asharm 

Characters:Bifur, Thorin, Sophie, Heather, Narnerra, Fíli, Dís, 

Warnings: None 

Rating: T

Word Count: 5,246

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @sorisooyaa @ruthoakenshield @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc @msjava1972

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here.

Bifur scowled as he studied the drawing Sophie laid out on the table before him. It was a brightly colored, bucolic forest scene, but with other images tucked into it. She pressed her lips together as his scowl deepened. It had been one of those days where everything seemed to come very easily to him. He’d been smiling and even joked a little about having the axe blade removed took a lot off his mind. He was in a great mood and she wanted to hug him, he had such success.

Until now, that is. Now, he was stuck trying to remember the Westron word for forest. 

“Take all of the time you need,” she told him. “Or, we can move on and come back to it.”

“No,” he growled, his eyes narrowing as he studied the drawing. “I know this word. I heard it a thousand and one times from Gandalf…”

She sat back to give him a bit of space. He rubbed his forehead with one hand, drumming the fingertips of his free hand on the table as he start down at the drawing. A low sigh leaked through his teeth. His drumming fingers curled into a fist and she braced herself for his outburst. 

“Forest…” he said slowly, then looked up.

“Forest,” she replied with a smile. “I knew you could do it.”

“It grows easier,” he managed, sitting back and looking quite proud of himself. 

She wanted so much to come around the table and hug him, that was how proud she was of him. He’d been working so hard all afternoon, his progress the greatest she’d seen since her arrival. “That’s wonderful, Bifur. I knew you could do it, I was just waiting for you to see you could as well.”

His smile as the most radiant she’d seen. “I hope this is but the beginning,” he managed slowly.

She reached across the table to cover his hand with hers. “I’m sure it is.” 

“How goes it, Bifur?” Thorin’s deep voice rolled across the courtyard and both she and Bifur turned as he strode toward them.

Bifur bobbed his head, lapsing back into khuzdul as he said, “It goes slowly, but I am getting there. And Mrs. Asharm has endless patience. She has yet to give up on me and that is but only dumb luck, as I’ve sorely tried her.”

Thorin smiled, his gaze sliding in her direction as he replied in kind, “I’m sure she would disagree with that assessment.”

She smiled. “She does,” she replied in their tongue, patting Bifur’s hand once more. Shifting back to Westron, she added, “And I do not give up easily.”

“And for that,” Bifur turned solemn dark eyes toward her, “I am forever grateful.”

“We’ll pick up with this tomorrow then,” she said, catching the map between her thumb and forefinger to slide it back to herself and folded it.

Bifur shook his head. “I cannot tomorrow. I am to be in Dale with Bofur tomorrow.”

“Well, the day after, then.”

He nodded as he got to his feet. “Good evening, Mrs. Asharm,” he looked over at Thorin, “Your Highness.”

Thorin nodded. “Good evening, Bifur.”

Sophie looked up as Thorin moved to sink into Bifur’s vacated chair. “He’s come so far today. I’ve never seen him work so hard.”

“Good. Perhaps you’re close to a breakthrough with him.”

“It isn’t a matter of a breakthrough,” she told him, tucking the map back into the folder holding Bifur’s file and her notes, “but the result of him becoming far more confident in himself. The stronger the confidence, the more easily it will return and the longer he’ll retain it.”

She closed the folder, folding her hands to rest atop it. “How did your meeting in Dale go?”

He sighed softly, sinking back in his chair. “It went as every meeting with Bard goes. He complains Erebor has not given enough, I disagree, we argue for an hour and nothing gets solved.”

“What was the problem? I mean, unless I’m overstepping by asking.”

“Not at all.” He smiled and stood to offer her his arm. “But, you must be hungry, so allow me to escort you to supper and bore you with the tales of rebuilding Esgaroth.”

“Why do I think it will be anything but boring?” She stood, the folder in one hand, and tucked her free arm through his. “I know Bard and he’s a good man, but I know he can be…”

“A pain?”

She chuckled. “Not quite what I was going for, but I’m not so certain you’re wrong, either.” She glanced up up at him. “So, please, spill, as Narnerra would say.”

“Very well. But, remember, you asked for this.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

She smiled as he led her back across the courtyard, where Narnerra smiled and said, “Going to supper, Your Highness?”

“Aye. And I’m stealing Mrs. Asharm on the way, if you don’t mind.”

“Mind? She doesn’t belong to me.” Narnerra let out a soft laugh and winked at Sophie. “Enjoy your evening.”

“Narnerra, would you mind putting this on my desk?” Sophie held out Bifur’s folder.

“Not at all. Enjoy yourself, Sophie.”

She nodded and as they neared the doorway, Sophie said, “You were telling me of the complaints Bard has about costs?”

Thorin escorted her back inside, saying, “No, for once, that was not his chief complaint. This time, it was no-show workers and contractors who had him seeing red. And since we pay a third of the total cost up front, I can understand his irritation when these men take the money and run, for lack of a better phrase. So, we begin the dance again, putting the jobs out for bid, going over said bids, contracting the work, and then we hope the workers actually show up. It’s so tedious… I’d rather send a crew from here to do the job, but I think that would be met with immovable resistance, as dwarves are none too fond of Man and vice versa.”

"Oh, I see what you mean. I think I would rather be here when Bifur is having a terrible day.”

He let out a soft laugh at that, one she hadn’t heard before. It was low and deep, and it rolled toward her smoothly. “Aye, you and me, both. I should have just told Dwalin to go in my stead, but we’d probably end up at war with the Men of Dale if I did.”

Her fingers tightened on his forearm of their own. Soft, dark hair shadowed that forearm and beneath his warm skin was solid muscle. Her fingertips just brushed along him, and she was sure that muscle tightened beneath her touch. 

“Mr. Fundinson does not strike me as the diplomatic sort,” she admitted softly.

“That would be because he is of the blunt, direct sort, instead.”

“And is that why you take him with you?”

He shook his head. “No. He’s good company and thinks of himself as my bodyguard. Usually Balin goes with us as well, because he is far more diplomatic than either Dwalin or I will ever be, but he was otherwise occupied working on a piece of jewelry for his wife. Their anniversary is around the corner.”

She smiled. “He is a jeweler, then?”

He nodded. “A fine craftsman, is what he is.”

“And what about you?” She asked this as they rounded the corner and approached the open staircase that would take them up to the Great Hall. “What do you do?”

“Me? Nothing nearly as glamorous as Balin.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that, Your Majesty.”

He paused, then turned toward her. “Before we returned here, I was a blacksmith.”

“Is that so?”

“You sound surprised, Mrs. Asharm.”

“That would be because I am surprised. You’re the King Under the Mountain. Kings aren’t in trade.”

“They are when they have no kingdom and still need to put food on their table.”

He said it softly, but a hint of shame flashed through her and she slipped her arm from his, saying, “I apologize, Your Majesty. That was terribly rude of me.”

“There is no need for that,” he told her, reaching for her, his fingers curling about her wrist. Warmth sank into her as he guided her hand back through his arm once more. “And you will not apologize for it either. One of these days, I will show you some of my handiwork.”

“I would like very much to see it,” she told him, her hand coming to rest over his forearm once more as they emerged into the Great Hall.

“Mama! Mister Thorin!” Heather’s voice rang out and a moment later, she’d launched herself at them.

Thorin caught her easily in one arm. “Take care, mimûna,” he said with a laugh. “You might break me in half, you hit me with such force.”

“I’m sorry, Mister Thorin. Were you with Mama and Mister Bifur?”

“I was and I wasn’t.” He glanced over at Sophie. “Did you have fun with Gimli and Miss Oakmane?”

Sophie smiled as Heather nodded. One would never guess the King Under the Mountain had no children of his own, seeing how comfortable he seemed to be with them, and with Heather especially. He looked far more comfortable with her in his arms than Heather’s own father ever did.

Sophie fought off a wince at the unwanted thought and instead focused on the dwarf king holding her daughter as if she was his own. And Heather leaned into him as if it was the most natural thing in the world, one arm about his neck, her other hand moving lightly along his beard. “This is bristly,” she said, tracing along his jawline.

“Is it? I’ve never noticed.”

She nodded. “This is soft,” she said, reaching to grab a handful of his hair.

“Heather, mind your manners.”

Thorin shook his head. “She’s done nothing rude, Mrs. Asharm, and said nothing to which I take offense. I take it your ‘adad has no beard?”

Heather’s delicate dark brows lowered. “My what?”

“Your papa?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Mama, does Papa have a beard?”

Swallowing hard, Sophie shook her head. “No. He didn’t.”

Heather let go of Thorin’s hair and slid her hand along the left side of his jawline now. “This is so bristly! It tickles my hand.”

He chuckled. “And that tickles my cheek, so perhaps you should be still, mimûna?”

Her hand went still at once. “I’m sorry, Mister Thorin.”

Sophie’s heart lurched at the contrition in Heather’s voice, at the way she seemed to shrink in Thorin’s arms. Just when she thought her daughter had forgotten the worst of the dark days in Esgaroth, something happened and Heather recoiled in the same way.

But then Thorin broke in with a soft, but firm, “There is no need to apologize. No harm has been done and you didn’t know.”

“You—you aren’t mad at me?” Heather asked.

“Why would I be?” He glanced over at Sophie, who managed to smile even as her eyes stung a little at the disbelief in Heather’s voice. Then he looked back at Heather. “You did nothing wrong, mimûna. I promise you, you didn’t.”

By then they’d reached the Great Hall and Thorin carried Heather around to the table where he usually sat with Dís and her sons. Sophie watched as he set Heather in the chair beside his sister’s and said, “I brought a friend for you, Dís.”

Lady Dís smiled and reached to pull Heather into her lap. “And good evening, Miss Heather. How was your day?”

“It was good. Miss Oakmane let us run about outside all afternoon.”

“Wonderful. Are you ready for your first riding lesson?”

Heather nodded. “I am. Mama, I can still go, right?”

Sophie nodded. “Of course you can, love. Just be careful and listen to Lady Dís.”

“She will be fine,” Dís said, looking over at Fíli. “My son is an excellent horseman.”

“Oh, I hope we aren’t imposing,” Sophie began.

But Fíli cut her off with a warm smile and equally warm blue eyes. “Worry not, Mrs. Asharm, I don’t mind at all.”

“See?” Thorin told her, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “So, you needn’t worry and can enjoy your tour of Erebor.”

She smiled as he then drew out a chair and with that hand on her shoulder, gently guided her toward it. She sank into it, and for the first time in a long time, simply relaxed. 

****

After supper, Dís and Fíli each held onto one of Heather’s hands as they headed out of the Great Hall and Sophie smiled as she watched them carefully swing her between them. Looking over at Thorin, she said, “You have all made us feel so welcomed. I… I can never possibly repay that.”

“There is no need to repay anything. It’s been a long time since Erebor has heard much laughter and an even longer time since children have been here.” He rose from his chair and held out a hand. “Now, come. I believe I owe you a tour.”

She let her hand come to rest in his and stood. “As long as I don’t have to go into… that room again.”

“Never again, Mrs. Asharm. I give you my word.”

It was silly to feel relieved, since she had no cause to think anyone would ever force her into that chamber again, but even so, relief definitely surged through her. She nodded and let him lead her out the doorway past the kitchens. The kitchens bustled with activity, but the sounds died quickly as they moved out into a small courtyard behind it. The sun was just at the horizon, the air cool and crisp, a hint of rain lingering in it. 

They strolled along a slate walkway. “I thought you were giving me a tour inside Erebor?”

“I am, It was just warm in the Great Hall and I thought some fresh air might be welcome.”

At the low stone wall, similar to the one ringing the infirmary’s courtyard, he stopped and sank onto it. “Tell me, where is Mr. Asharm?”

Although she’d been waiting for this question, she dreaded it just the same. “He’s dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She looked over at him, shaking her head as she sank onto the wall alongside him. “He wasn't a good person.”

His eyes widened a fraction. “What happened?”

She turned her gaze back to her hands, now resting against her pale green skirt. “He simply did not come home one evening so it was assumed, and accepted, that he’d died out on the Long Lake. He was a fisherman, you know, and things of that nature happen from time to time. It’s part of the risk of the work, And please, offer me no more sympathy, for I’m not sorry he is gone. And I know that is terrible and it makes me a terrible person, but…”

She stood then, and turned back toward the doorway. “I should return to my chambers, Your Majesty. I think a tour can wait.”

But before she could take the first step, Thorin shot up and caught her by the wrist. “No, wait… Mrs. Asharm, please, don’t go.”

“I shouldn’t be here. And you don’t want to hear all of this, so I—”

“Sophie,” he drew her closer, sliding his hand into hers, and then caught her other hand as well, “don’t go. It’s all right. And I wouldn’t ask if I didn't wish to know. I’m not good at asking things only to be polite, so if I do so, it’s because I’m interested.”

She couldn’t look at him. All she could hear was Sten reminding her how worthless she was, and how it was only by the goodness of his oh-so-big heart and generous nature that she hadn’t been tossed into the streets. She squeezed her eyes shut as his voice grew louder, crueler—

“A more worthless wretch of a woman never lived. Why I keep you around, I’ll never know. Rubbish is all you are.”

“Sophie,” a gentle finger caught her under the chin and tilted her face to his, “please, stay.”

She looked up to meet soft blue eyes. “Your Majesty, I—”

Those eyes grew softer still. “Thorin. And it’s all right. Whatever you wish to say, or to keep to yourself, feel free to do so. I promise you, it will go no further than me.”

Her heart beat harder against her ribs and the scent of rain grew thicker. The clouds blotted out the moon, the only light coming from the torches mounted above the doorway. Still, she could see Thorin as perfectly as if the sun shone down upon them. She swallowed hard and for the first time in her life, she felt safe there, in Erebor, with him. 

“Heather is the only good thing that came of that marriage,” she murmured slowly. “And I am not sorry he is gone. Just as I am not sorry that Smaug destroyed Esgaroth. You did me a favor that night, Thorin. Because of that, I was able to leave.” 

“I did no one any favors,” he contradicted softly. “And I cost some everything.”

“That is not true.” She shook her head, pulling away from him. “You did me a favor.”

“You could have simply left.”

She stared at him for a long moment, then let out a mirthless laugh. “Could I? With a baby? I am not your sister, Your Majesty, with wealth and resources at my fingertips. Where would I have gone? In Esgaroth, Sten was a fisherman, but he knew and was friends with so many of the Royal Guard. They would have tracked me down and imprisoned me. Heather would have gone back to her father and I shudder to think what would have happened then.” 

She stepped back as the first drops of rain began falling. “I don’t pretend to know what happened within these walls before the battle, so please, don’t pretend you know what went on within the walls of my house before Smaug. Because I assure you, Thorin, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t suppose I do,” he said after a long silence stretched between them and the rain misted around them. “But, I do know you are safe now. Both of you. And you will remain safe here as long as you need to.”

“I am here in your employ,” she told him softly. “Do not forget that.”

He closed the space between them once more and this time, caught her face squarely between his palms. Heat from his immense hands sank into her, and she fought off a shiver as his thumbs so very gently swept along her cheeks. 

She had to force herself to meet his gaze, as a sudden shyness gripped her—one she hadn’t felt since she was but a girl in the grips of her first crush. More than anything, she wanted him to kiss her, wanted to feel the weight of his lips on hers, wanted to know what it was like to be held by him, to feel his arms tighten about her as he slowly explored her mouth with his. It had been a lifetime since she’d felt a tender kiss, a gentle caress, and she hadn’t realized how touch-starved she was until his thumbs brush her cheeks, until his fingers stretched into her hair. 

But, he was the king. And she—

She was nobody, really.

Disappointment swept through her as she forced herself to draw back and broke his hold on her. “I should probably go and fetch Heather,” she said softly as the rain pattered harder now. 

“She is fine with Dís and I promised you a tour.”

“I don’t wish to be a pest—”

“You are nothing of the sort.” He caught her by the hand to draw it through the crook of his elbow once more. “So, shall we begin?”

“Thorin, I—” Her protest died on her lips as he glanced over with a slight smile and raised eyebrow. “Very well. Lead on.”

Sophie was quiet as Thorin led her through Erebor, down into the Hall of Kings. More than once, he glanced over at her, wanting to break the awkward, thick silence, but unable to find the words. He wanted to kick himself for his callous dismissal of her situation, for his arrogance in assuming he knew more about her situation than she did.

So he brought her to the Hall of Kings. Or what had once been the Hall of Kings. Not much kingly remained of it, as they’d melted down a good portion of the statues of his forebears in a foolish attempt to drown Smaug in molten gold. The only thing they’d succeeded in doing that terrible night was give the gallery a new golden floor while Smaug burst forth from Erebor to destroy Esgaroth. 

He looked over at her once more as they stepped to the railing at the edge of the balcony overlooking the gallery. Her eyes were wide as she looked first up, then down at the golden floor. 

“What is this?” Her voice was barely a whisper, her hands coming to rest on the sooty and scarred black marble railing.

“This?” He stepped up beside her, hands on the railing as well. “This was the Hall of Kings.”

“But,” she looks over at him, a hint of disbelief in her soft voice, “there are no kings here.”

“There were. I ordered them melted. Look down and tell me that you see.” He nodded. “The railing will hold you. It’s safe.”

She didn't look too certain of that, but carefully leaned forward just enough. “I see… is that floor… gold?”

“It is, indeed.” He leaned one elbow on the railing and faced her. The soft light from the torches high up on the wall made her hair gleam like ebony silk, made it look as if it flowed over her shoulders and down her back like a river of ink. He fairly itched to let his fingers glide over  it, to see if was anywhere near as soft as it looked. He’d been kicking himself since the courtyard for not kissing her hone he’d had the chance.

“The gold that was my ancestors,” he added with a slight smile. 

“You turned them into flooring?”

“It was not done intentionally, I promise you.” He shifted, resting both arms on the railing now. ”No, it was a fool’s plan. I thought to melt the statues down, to drown Smaug in that which he coveted.”

She looked over at him, her eyes swirling silver in the low light. “You had to be terrified, confronting him. Absolutely terrified. I certainly would be.”

“I might have been, had I been thinking clearly,” he replied slowly, holding her gaze. “But, I was not in my right mind, either. I thought, with great arrogance and idiocy, we could simply drown him in gold and retake what was rightfully ours. It was so simple, there was no way it couldn’t work.”

“Except it didn’t.”

“Exactly.” He sighed softly. “I caused a lot of pain for people who did not deserve it.”

“I owe you an apology, Thorin,” she said softly, turning back to gaze out over the hall. What was once a chamber filled with homage to the past kings of Erebor, now it was marble pedestals, the remnants of those homages, and a foolish golden floor. Their voices echoed through the cavern no matter how softly they spoke. The room was cold and bleak and held horrible memories for him.

“You owe me no such thing.”

“No, I do.” She looked over at him. “I… We’ve both been through quite a bit this past year and it isn’t fair for me to assume that you couldn’t possibly understand any sort of struggle.”

“And it wasn’t fair for me to assume you could simply up and leave if you so desired. And for that, I apologize as well.”

“Trust me,” she said softly and to his relief, a hint of a smile lifted the corners of her lips, “if I had had the means to do so, I would have left. But, as I said, he was close friends with many of the Royal Guard. He would have found me and the consequences would have been dire. For me and most likely for Heather and I could not let that happen.”

“Dire?” He moved closer. “Was he violent with you?”

She said nothing at first, but he didn't miss her eyes widen ever so slightly, nor did he miss how they grew shiny for a moment. “Sophie?”

“Tell me more about the statues you melted.”

Without thinking, he brought his fingers to her cheek, let them trace lightly along the curve of it. Her skin was soft and cool, and her eyes closed for a moment. He stepped closer, cupping her cheek with his hand now. “Did he raise a hand to you?"

She nodded and although he expected it, his blood boiled the same. His gut twisted, it churned with that fury that engulfed him. Still, he managed to remain outwardly calm, brushing his thumb along her cheek. “You are safe here, you know.”

“I know.” She looked over at him, and nodded. “I do, really. It’s simply that I—I just have a hard time believing it.”

“As long as you do believe it.” He held her gaze. Her eyes were silver, soft and tranquil, and this time, he didn't hesitate as he leaned over and brushed her lips with his. 

Her fingers curled about his wrist and she turned toward him, leaning back into him. He caught her face between his palms, tilted her head just so, and this time, brought his lips fully onto hers. 

Her lips were every bit as soft as he’d imagined, and they moved gently against his, parting when he brushed the tip of his tongue along them. His breath hitched at the warm glide of her tongue along his. She wasn't shy or hesitant, but returned his kiss with an intensity that set his blood to a slow boil, that spread a gentle heat through his body.

He was in no hurry to break this kiss, but nibbled softly at her lips, brushed them teasingly, and with a soft sigh, slowly pulled back. Pressing his forehead to hers, he whispered, “I’ve wanted to do that since we stood outside Dís’ door last eve.”

“I thought I’d imagined it.”

“No,” he smiled, shaking his head as he drew back, “you didn’t. But, I thought perhaps you and Dwalin—” 

“He’s very nice, but… there is no me and Dwalin.”

“And then I thought you were married.” He caught her by the chin then, his thumb brushing lightly along her jawline. “And now… now I wonder if you would be willing to see where this might lead us?”

“And what about Heather?”

“What about her? You might not have noticed, but I think she likes me.”

To his relief, she laughed. “She does. She likes you and your sister and fancies herself in love with Kíli.” Then her smile faded. “I have to confess, I have never found myself in this situation. Most men are not thrilled to learn my daughter comes with me.”

“I am not most men,” he replied softly, his lips just brushing hers once more. “And besides, I like Heather, if you haven’t noticed. I am fine with her coming with you, and you needn’t worry about my trying to make you choose between her and me.”

“Thorin—”

“What?”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Yes,” she nodded slowly, “why would you do this?”

“Because I like her mother, too,” he whispered, before letting his lips come to rest against hers once more. 

This time, she slid her arms about his middle, her hands flat against his back, pulling him closer to her. As her breasts pressed full against his chest, heat sliced through him in a way it never had before, and it took every bit of will he possessed to keep his hands from sliding up from her waist, over those firm mounds. He practically ached to touch her, to experience for himself what her breasts felt like in his hands. 

For now, he managed to control that urge, even as her head fell back and she offered him her throat, which he feasted upon, kissing down into the curve of the neckline of her tunic. Then, he kissed his way back up to her lips, and pulled away to whisper, “So, would you be willing, Sophie?”

Her eyes were heavy-lidded, swirling silver as she slowly opened them wider. “Willing?”

He smiled, an airy laugh floating to his lips in a way it hadn’t done in a lifetime. Shifting slightly, he pressed his forehead to hers. “Willing to see where this might lead us?”

“Are you so certain that is wise? I work for you.”

“You do not work for me. You work with Bifur and with Narnerra and Óin. And I will make it clear to them they are to treat you as they would regardless.”

His heart thudded dully against his ribs, but his blood pulsed through his temples with enough to force that he fought off a wince as her silence stretched and she pressed her lips together. The feeling that he’d made a terrible mistake began twisting his insides and as he was about to offer her an out, she stepped back. 

“Thorin, are you sure this is what you wish? That you have no other in mind, one who might be better suited and more acceptable?”

“What? Who has told you that you are unacceptable?”

“Well, no one.” She shook her head, then lifted it to meet his gaze and his heart sank at the hints of pewter glinting in the silver. “But, surely someone will. I’m of Man. An unmarried woman with a child. And you’re the king. Surely—”

“You are widowed and that is not the same thing and Heather has melted the hearts of the most steel-hearted amongst us. I daresay no one will think either of you as unacceptable and if they did, I’d be quick to correct their misconception.”

The dryness in his mouth eased somewhat as she stared up at him and her eyes glinted more silver now, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Are you certain?”

“Do I need to kiss you before everyone in the Great Hall?”

“I wish you wouldn’t.”

“Why? Are you so embarrassed to be seen being kissed by me?” He caught her about the waist once more and tugged her closer. 

“Well, no, but—”

He cut her off with a teasing kiss, then broke it just enough to whisper, “Is this a yes, Mrs. Asharm? You’ve not answered me yet, you know.”

Now she let her smile shine through and its warmth and brightness stole the breath from his lungs. Her eyes held his as she slowly nodded and murmured, “I would very much like to see where this leads us, Your Majesty.”

“Then come with me and let me give you that tour.” He winked, brushed her lips once more, then straightened up and tucked her arm through his. “We’ll start with the paddock and you can see Heather is in no danger with Fíli and his pony.”

#The Hobbit #Thorin Oakenshield #Hobbit Fic #Hobbit Fanfic #Fan fiction #The Hobbit fan fiction #Thorin x OC #AU #Thorin Fic #Is it hot in here? #Romance #Richard Armitage

[buttdawg]

Papa Haitch

"Paul Levesque" has been trending on Twitter for a while, and the general vibe I see are people grappling with the realization that Triple H might be part of the problem and not the solution they always hoped for.

I think the mythology for the past 18 years or so has been that WWE sucks ass, and it's all Vince McMahon's fault, and the only way it'll get better is when he dies/retires/steps aside and Triple H takes over. Then people can say "belt" again and the camera work will improve and the booking will make sense.

I haven't watched WWE in five years, but from what I hear that's mostly how things have played out. People have been much more positive about the product since Vince retired in 2022, and that positivity improved when the TKO merger happened and Vince was moved to a safe distance from creative. I think it's safe to conclude that Paul is more competent at running a wrestling promotion than Vince.

The catch is that it's a very low bar to clear. This week has demonstrated to everyone that the bar was even lower than we knew. A few months ago I listened to a Behind the Bastards podcast series on Vince McMahon, and after seven hours they barely made it to Owen Hart's death in 1999.

Meanwhile, I fear that fans have set their expectations of Paul Levesque very high. It reminds me a lot of the hype surrounding AEW when it formed. The promise of a major wrestling promotion free of Vince McMahon leads people to expect everything they ever wanted. Our favorite wrestlers will always win and always get main event pushes, every storyline will be flawless and brilliant, we'll finally get rid of the flippy shit, we'll finally get more of the flippy shit, women wrestlers will get their due, and finally, finally, there will be sound, ethical leadership backstage.

The reality is that fans are now arguing over which company's press conferences are a bigger joke. Well, HHH may have fumbled the question about reading the lawsuit filing, but at least he didn't wear a silly hat like TK did as he deflected the questions about Chris Jericho!

The bar is pretty low. Maybe Levesque can figure out a way to recover and learn from this whole experience, and become the benevolent ruler everyone wanted him to be. Maybe his hands are dirtier than anyone guessed, and he'll be turfed out of the company by next year. Maybe he's only slightly less corrupt than Vince, and he'll manage to survive the post-Vince purges anyway. It all remains to be seen.

But it feels like the fanbase is starting to notice that this guy isn't necessarily going to deliver on all their hopes and dreams of a better WWE. It'll be better than it was under Vince, if only because they'll quit booking so many DQ finishes and no-contests. But they keep letting Hulk Hogan in the building, so that tells me they're not aiming nearly as high as I would like.

I see three kinds of comments on Triple H lately.

"Fuck that guy, he's just as bad as Vince and his cronies, and he should be fired too."

"I used to like HHH, but now I've lost all respect for him after that presser."

"Don't be so mean to HHH, you jerks, he's doing the best he can and you shouldn't expect him to talk about a lawsuit after revolutionizing Sports Entertainment™ with another great Premium Live Event™."

It's that third one that intrigues me, because I never used to see fanboys white knighting for Triple H before. It used to be they would talk about what a genius he is for conquering wrestling, and if anything good or bad happened to WWE, that was Triple H winning his game of 5-D chess. If something bad happened, it was a sign of Vince's downfall, and HHH would look like a hero when he finally got the opportunity to right the ship. If something good happened, then it made WWE even richer and more powerful for the day when HHH took control.

Now the message is: "Hey, leave him alone you guys, he's just a wee li'l booker, he can't comment on an ongoing legal matter. He's just a kindly old man cobbling Royal Rumble matches in his little workshop. Don't ask him about corporate culture and sexual abuse in the workplace. His heart's bad, so he can't take it!"

It's not a good look. It was probably more fun when he was putting on shows and hyping them up with Shawn Michael and Road Dogg like "Fuck yeah! DX is running WWE now and everything is badass!" But now he's got everyone looking at him with anger or suspicion, or pity. Maybe that all blows over in a few months, or maybe it won't. I think I might need a new userpic in the meantime...

#wwe #paul levesque #triple h

[incarnateirony]

The real plot twist is, in a way, it's almost a Hermes style joke to let her use Rumpocky, if it wasn't so deeply offensive to a deceased person and their family member she didn't know about.

Because the word meant Literal Nonsense. I cannot emphasize that enough. It was *my* first time channeling after years of being mad I couldn't, and *my* inability to let go that got us jammed half way, and while someone tried to ask where he was coming from, he was trying to get words out, and something along the veins of "somewhere in Japan" wasn't working so I was getting slapped with a few vague images and him scouring the recent mental database he could access.

That recent mental database included Words That Are Literal Nonsense.

In the movie Slayers Premium, which features in the Monster video cover, a town is cursed by a demon to speak literal fucking jibberish. We had been trying to discern if there was any languages being shoved together, and had just gone over "pirate candy rum pocky riding sniff makes butt rum???? DID I HEAR THAT?" so it was the fucking local brainworm, so when he grabbed on all he could get out was fucking RUMPOCKY until the boot sequence corrected itself and he could actually talk to her about her father.

And she was like, do you have. pocky? and he was like no but they actually did just release a wonderful rum and raisin pocky I quite enjoy that.

That's the shit Shea stole for her branding without fucking understanding. The word means literal nonsense, it is literally a quote from a random string of nonsequitorial words that happened to be in my head rent free and were used for availability, but like. No all she heard was "well he got summoned and liked rumpocky from Japan so I'll be the best servant and order that" and like fucking point, over your head, that's not for or about you, get your own identity.

It was the breakthrough word, of my own personal life, and personal story, based on a series of personal events who had shared personal interests, for a personal first success in channeling, to help a friend personally grieve their passing father, but this bitch is gonna make it a meme so she can eat more candy cuz Hermes So Quirky(TM). Now everyone pay her to talk to her own shadow while swearing she's gonna learn this Hermes thing. The psychology part is gonna be a hella ride sweetheart. You should be paying the piper, not the other way around.

We tried. Me and him both. To help her find her own way, and identity, but she never knew what she wanted, just anything and anywhere else, and never with introspection of accountability to break down the personal parts, and then she festered then wondered why the road walked out on her. Like, you threw him out. It'll hit you in about five years once you've sobered up, and at that point, sorry maam. Yes, you did indeed let a manic borderline bipolar episode about lemons chase away the thing you're clearly after, and no, it does not want to come back. No, you can't argue with me on your blog about it. What's true is true. Your version can't pull up information core to his nature, and you can't pull information expansions on things you echo. You are definitionally doing shadow projection. Yes, he's gone, Shea. It's time to move on. Beating an inside joke to death you weren't even there for but got second hand from the ex husband you've been stalking the blog of for three years won't. Fix. It.

Let us go. You said you wanted us to go. We did not pause. You did not understand what left with me, but that was your choice, and that was fine. I said, okay. Yeah. I just get time to move. No fight to keep you. Right to the couch. And right to leaving. And I don't know. You weren't ready for your own choice.

We're gone Shea. By the fucking gods. Let us go. Stop sending your friends and gathering intentional enemies just for the ill of it, in whatever you've convinced yourself. Stop reading my every word. Stop acting accomplished just for finally harassing us into answering you after three years. Stop echoing him just hoping to near a new punchline that actually makes you laugh bounce back. Let us go.

[wafflebloggies]

10. a heap of broken images

back - next “So, Mark, this is Jared…”

Mark, it had to be said, did not look as if a large, near-invisible shadow-creature looming up out of the darkness and regarding him with a trio of eyes like the functional parts of a red-hot gas stove was a welcome addition to the list of concepts he was already struggling to grasp. He stared up at Jared in speechless silence, and when Jared’s eyes gave a friendly tilt, dropped several feet and whipped towards him, he sucked in a breath so sharp that Antonio was concerned he might have inhaled his own tongue.

“Look who it is! Double-M-hockey-sticks! It’s cool, we go waaaay back.”

“Uh?” managed Mark.

“Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah, I’ve been watching you for what, like, a year now?”

Mark made a noise.

“Gotta say, you’re taller IRL,” said Jared, happily. “Probably a perspective thing, right? Also way better res, which, like, no joke, literally every single cam in your house is ANCIENT at this point. Stone age. I kept bugging ya boy to replace them- no hate, ‘Tone- I was like, hey, I’m just your eye in the sky here, it’s not like I can just snap my fingers and your actual hardware gets upgraded with the power of heart or whatever. But he was always like... oh, hey, you good?”

This last, because Mark had just sat down suddenly with a thump, his knees having apparently decided they were even less keen on the way this conversation was going than the rest of him.

“It’s okay, Mark,” said Antonio, coaxingly. “Jared monitors all the hosts, twenty-four-seven. It wasn’t just you.”

When Mark finally found his voice, it was quite a lot shriller than usual. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

Antonio thought about it, reaching for Mark’s backpack, which had fallen off his shoulder as they’d scrambled inside the door. “I mean, yeah, it was, but I guess I can see why it doesn’t. Jared, hey, uh… I know this is kind of a big ask, but…”

Popping the inner zip, he upended the backpack over the nearest free desk. With a slithering scuffle of plastic wrappers, a small landslide of bright packages and baggies slid and tumbled over each other into a rough pile on the dusty melamine surface.

“We need a way out.”

Jared’s eyes gleamed. A long slender thing, like a steely finger with far too many joints, snickered indistinctly past Mark’s ear and pinned one of the little packets (a crowded graphic-design abomination, featuring sugegasa-wearing cows somersaulting cheerfully through flames), whipping it up into the shadows.

“Buddy, just call me Healthy Community, because I have got you COVERED.”

–-

Where there was a will- and an entire bodega rack’s worth of premium dried beef products- it turned out there was a way.

Jared called them dead zones. The cameras covered almost everywhere within the HR Department, Jared’s endless ranks of shiny black eyes, in corners, in ceilings, down blind alleys and empty rooms and well-trodden corridors, but with care and a little assistance to even out the odds, a path could be walked between them. The places between were cramped and confusing and nearly as difficult to travel as they would have been to find without Jared’s help. They were not the safest places, even within this hungry, malignant landscape, and they certainly weren’t the easiest to explain.

Here was a well of dank air, some fifty feet across, stirred in a slow, endless spiral by the movement of some enormous fan or turbine, deep enough below that it was far out of sight of any travellers along the narrow path that spanned it, a clanking catwalk of green steel. Condensation dripped from the pale heights, made the metal slimy underfoot.

Mark managed a couple of wobbly steps out over the void, then slid to his knees against the spindly safety rail, a sad arrangement of metal rods and chickenwire which overall came off as less of a barrier than a polite suggestion. Antonio, following with a surer step, resisted the urge to hook a fistful of the back of his sweater, just in case. He didn’t think Mark was likely to actually pitch himself over the railing, but he did appreciate that the last twenty or so minutes had been quite a lot for any human to handle.

“Hang in there, Mark,” he said, brightly. His voice echoed, a thin distant relay pattering back to them through the slow whirlpool of air. “Not much further.”

Mark forced his hands wordlessly through his hair, found a squashed fragment of delicate orange wing stuck somewhere over his ear, and flicked it away from him in disgust.

“Uh, yeah, sorry about the butterflies,” said Antonio. “Honestly, they’re usually pretty chill, I’ve never seen them just go for the eyes like that.”

Words weren’t evading Mark, but the ability to put more than two of them next to each other in a coherent sentence seemed to be. “That- the- why-” A struggle. “Why a horse??”

“It’s just a horse, Mark,” said Antonio, testing the railing before leaning his elbows on it, like a casual sightseer above Niagara Falls.

Mark clearly felt this wasn’t enough information. He made another struggle with his hands, shaping a sort of invisible sculpture on the theme of horror, bewilderment, and indignation, a shape that cut off sharply in the middle, and then squeezed both palms into his eyesockets, speaking indistinctly through his fingers.

“Just a- just- where’s the rest of it??”

“Do you think that’s really an important question right now?” asked Antonio. He meant it as a reasonable, honest query, but Mark only fixed him with a baleful eye through the gap in his hands, and said nothing.

They moved on. Through the empty hallways, through Jared’s dead zones, through a scorched and blackened sector where quite a mess had been made and the cameras still hung obliterated from the walls, Mark stayed silent. To Antonio, there was something puzzling- increasingly worrying- about this measured silence, and he didn’t think it was just the influence of his own quietly screaming nerves. He was good at reading Mark, even when he was at his most impenetrable, and he recognised this feeling of grim, plodding pertinacity that was coming off him in waves. This was Mark doing something he didn’t want to do- something he knew had no good object, no good ending- something he knew had to be done, regardless. He might as well have been making a video reading hate-comments, or cutting up raw liver, or any other uncongenial, unrewarding task demanded of him by the Muse. He looked as sullen and morose as ever, trailing along after Antonio as they travelled slowly through the safer zones of the HR Department. The nearest he got to an energetic reaction to anything on their long walk was a slight flinch and glance back as they heard the dogs pass distantly down a blind turning, the heavy patter of claws, the hungry, cheated howls.

Finally, the Long Egress. Jared had explained, in the vague way in which Jared tended to explain anything, that this seemingly endless grey concrete tunnel had been put in place as a sort of evacuation line, a last-ditch way back to the outside world. Walking it, Antonio wondered if the original architect might have planned on using it themselves, since it was quite clear that nobody else ever had. Whoever had designed the vast building that housed HR, if they had been human, it was a fairly safe assumption to make that they hadn’t done it entirely of their own free will.

It’s best to avoid asking questions or looking at things you aren’t authorised to see.

The bulkhead lights set into the walls every hundred yards or so created pale dim pools of light like so many oases, leading them from one to the next, all the way down the long last straight. Down here, even the lights were caged.

It’s all in my head, and I shouldn’t worry about it.

Antonio felt that they had been walking for years by the time they reached the end. His shoes had run out of moisture and left no prints on the scratchy poured concrete. Every step he took felt leaden, a further pull away from something dragging gently at him, something hooked into his heart-roots, difficult to ignore. They had been walking in silence, the only sounds the scrape and echo of their steps, the thick electric hum of the lights, a quieter low static buzz that seemed to live in the walls, and Mark’s difficult breathing and occasional hitching cough. Antonio didn’t mind these noises, as it made it easy for him to know that Mark was still behind him.

No ceremony, no fanfare, just a flat final wall that grew slowly from a pale dot to a short grey oblong as they walked towards it, a last pool of light, the long hallway terminating in a single pale grey door. Someone with a sense of humour had screwed a sign to it, an ordinary industrial yellow-and-black safety sign that read DANGER – KEEP OUT. Someone else had scrawled underneath; IT’S SCARY OUT THERE.

Antonio put a hand on the door, which had a thick push-bar, wreathed in old cobwebs and cranky with disuse. He looked back, and saw that Mark had stopped a little way back along the hallway and was just standing there in the last-but-one pool of light, looking at him.

“Mark? This is it, buddy, come on.”

Mark coughed, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and didn’t move.

“Mark?” Antonio stepped away from the door. As he moved towards Mark, Mark stepped back, mirroring him. He put a hand to the strap of his backpack, gripping it like a rosary, and suddenly Antonio felt a cold and eerie twinge of deja vu, of a week ago, of standing in the soft-lit hallway with Be Joyful Always, Pray Continually over his head as Mark begged him in a quiet, frantic monotone, pleaded, promised anything for his freedom.

I've done everything you've asked. You can have my channel, my house... just let me go.

Just now, it looked as if nothing could have been further from Mark’s mind.

“You must think I’m pretty fucking stupid,” he said.

Antonio stopped. The bug in his middle, which had been quiet for a time, stirred restlessly as he looked across the distance between them into Mark’s sharp, careworn face.

“So what is it?” Mark put out a hand and rested it against the concrete wall, either to take some of his weight or to reassure himself it was there. The flat light cast stark double-shadows, Antonio’s own falling across the door at his back and stretching down the hallway towards Mark, Mark’s slanting away as if it was shrinking from his. “What’s the trick? Because this whole ‘super secret escape’ thing is getting really old now. Maybe I’d have fallen for it when I was five but if you think I believe you’re just going to let me walk out of here, that sludge in your head must be way past expiry.”

“Mark, you have to trust me,” said Antonio. “I’m- I’m just trying to help you.”

Mark blinked a couple of times, grinned at him, in the same way skulls grinned, nothing behind it but a vacant stretch of teeth. Whether Antonio had struck a nerve, or Mark had just reached some internal breaking point, he dropped his hand from the wall and started walking forwards.

“Trust you. Trust you? You, and that- that thing in my basement- my muse-”

The sheer amount of pure spitting venom he managed to inject into one syllable was astonishing.

“-you’re the same. You’re the same thing, you’re just a- a part of that fucking blob that can walk around and look like a person. I knew that as soon as you first showed up- you think I’m going to trust you now?” He stopped, almost face to face with Antonio, his fear and aversion and bitter anger struggling with each other in his face, his hands curled around his backpack in front of him as if it was a shield.

“Mark, I- I’ve felt- I’ve been-”

Now it was Antonio’s turn to struggle. His chest was crawling, the heat in his face and hands rising, the difficulty squirming under his skin pushing him not to shut Mark up or stop him being a problem but to explain, to try to dispel the terrible disdain in Mark’s eyes. He stumbled on, aware his voice sounded choked and strange, terribly afraid to keep going but far, far more afraid to stop.

“When you were gone, I… I started to feel... different. I’ve been feeling... really weird. Mark, I have… thoughts that don’t make sense- sometimes I don’t want things to happen even though I know I should, I don’t want to do things I know I have to do- I think there’s something wrong with me. No, I- I know there is.” He held out his hands, open, pleading. “I don’t know what happened, but I- I know somehow, it started because of you.”

He swallowed.

“I’m different, I’m different to how I was, because of you. And I want to- I want to be a good friend, Mark. I’m doing this because I… I want to help you.”

“Bullshit,” said Mark.

Oh, it felt cold, it felt freezing cold in his guts and it hurt, and maybe this was how come humans could hurt each other so easily, that Mark could take every honest, vulnerable word he’d pulled painstakingly out of the core of him, these fragile little things ripped out of their shell new and raw and utterly defenceless, and hurl them so easily right back in his face. Antonio felt them start to shrivel and die in the chasm between them, but he kept quiet and just looked at Mark, who was knotting his fists in the fabric of his backpack, his jaw set hard, mouth slightly open, eyes hot and full of contempt.

“Mark,” he tried, “please, you have to-“

“No, I don’t. I actually fucking don’t, I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to believe a single word you say. I listened to you for a year. I let you manipulate me, I danced like your fucking puppet, I did everything you wanted, for a year. I let-” He bit the word off.

“Mark, I haven’t even known you for a y-“

“Shut up,” said Mark, his voice deadly and as flat as the lights. “You can’t hurt me anymore. Not with my- my mom, not with-” He stopped himself again, his mouth working. “There’s nothing left, the only thing you have on me is this- this shit inside of me, this-” He let the pack dangle to the bruised fold of his elbow and held out his arms, wordless, the flat bulkhead light ghastly on his darkened veins, the black splatters of the dog’s blood and his own still staining the front of his ruined sweater. “This- this infection, this mold, I- I can feel it, I hear it in my head-” He shuddered, furiously, helplessly. “If- if you wanted to help me you’d get rid of it but you won’t, you won’t because the only thing you want is to keep me, keep stringing me along for whatever sick fucking plan-”

“Okay, but I’d need to touch you.”

“-shut up- whatever sick- whatever-” Mark seemed to hit a kind of a glitch, sticking like a scratched-up record and stopping in place. He blinked a little volley of dazed blinks, a rapid-fire Morse code message of utter confusion. “What?”

“Here,” said Antonio, holding out his hands. “I think I can do it, at least I can try. It’s just, you told me not to touch you.”

Mark stared at him in disbelief, his hands falling to his sides. He looked poleaxed. The backpack slipped gently down his arm, dropping to the ground at his feet, but he made no sign he even noticed.

“And you listened??”

For the first time, Antonio saw with stark clarity the shape of himself as he must have appeared to Mark through the past almost-year. A looming shadow, a threatening, suffocating, hounding, malicious, grinning thing that never rested and never relented, if the deal Mark had made with his Muse was a poisoned spring, Antonio had been the hand forcing him under the rank surface, forcing him to drink until he drowned.

Months too late, without words to even form the idea, he was desperately sorry. The thing in his chest- bug, alien, sickness or mistake- it was his, his guilt, his to fight and deny or accept, and for once, the choice was his own.

“I know I don’t have any right to ask you to trust me.” He kept holding out his hands, palms up, looking into Mark’s face where incredulity was fighting a pitched battle with something else, something Antonio wasn’t sure he’d ever seen there before.

“Please, Mark,” he said, quietly. “Just let me try.”

The lights hummed, the walls buzzed. Mark stood still in silence for so long that Antonio started to wonder if he’d frozen again, but at last he started to move. There was no great change in his expression, no lessening of the fear in his eyes or the clear mistrust in the thin downwards line of his mouth. As he moved, it seemed to be in spite of himself than out of any thinking, reasoning decision.

Slowly, without looking away from Antonio’s face, Mark lifted his hand and reached out.

#muse arg #dftm #don't feed the muse #mark mayhew #antonio geist #alex bale #jared the IT guy #my writing #the cynical critic #this part kicked my ass

[crystalelemental]

The new limited CS event has me thinking...if it’s all weak to one type, then realistically, players will be expected to have five damage dealers within a type.  And as stated before, not every type has that.  But also, some that do...aren’t strictly reasonable either.  And this has me thinking...what type weakness are they likely to start with, and how might that play into the chosen extra unit?

GRASS Fairly reasonable.  Among F2P/General Pool, they have Gardenia, Erika, Brendan, Mallow, Selene, and SS Erika, with Sycamore and Gloria from Lodge.  This would be a really easy one to justify.  That said...there has never been a Grass-type E4 member.  Because the type is bad.  So this would leave Champions with eclectic teams.  Blue is out because Exeggutor was Lodge, so options could be Wallace and Ludicolo, Cynthia and Roserade, and Diantha with Gourgeist.  Any of those three would admittedly be great to me.

FIRE Fire has Ethan, Flannery, Flint, Hilda, Serena, Blaine, and Silver as commonly available options, with Blarcanine as a free event that isn’t rerun regularly.  This is...a lot more restrictive than Grass, if I’m being honest.  Ethan isn’t great, Flannery’s sync is mildly okay, Flint’s bad, Hilda has trouble with DPS and not dying, and Blaine isn’t exactly setting records, to say nothing of Silver and Serena’s reliance on him as a partner.  While Fire has a metric ton of limited options that are all game shattering, its more accessible options are...notably limited.  This would be a good time to bring in Malva, though.  That said...there’s basically no Champion that can fill this, and I cannot imagine them making a Flint alt on purpose.

WATER Siebold, Barry, Wake, Kris, SS Grimsley, May, Nessa, Wallace, SS Misty, Lodge Rosa, Lodge May, and Lodge Silver.  We are literally drowning in Water-type offense.  This doesn’t even cover Cyrus.  This would be outrageously reasonable, and would instantly connect to Champion Wallace with literally anything.  Though Cynthia also has Milotic, which is worth noting.  Also Siebold exists, but doubtful.

ELECTRIC Surge, Hau, Sophocles, Elesa, Volkner, Clemont, and BP Sophocles.  To get straight to the point, Electric-types kinda suck.  Elesa’s expansion is good, and BP Sophocles can do okay, but the rest are hilariously poor damage dealers.  Even expanding to premium, it’s like...okay, N is solid but super reliant on support without 5/5, Marnie’s good, and SST Red and Ash obliterate stages.  But...yeah.  It’s not the cleanest.  And correct me if I’m wrong.  But is there not a single Electric type in any champion battle?  Or E4 that I can immediately think of.  There’s no electric-type master in the E4.  I am...actually not sure of anything now.  This is so weird...

ICE Okay, no.  I can’t even pretend.  Ghetsis and Candice are good but have their own issues, and Hala at EX can clear a CS stage.  But no.  Absolutely not.  Pryce and Lorelei are jokes, Brycen cannot do damage, and BP Candice is hilariously bad.  Even expanding you’ve got like, what, Summer Steven who’s inconsistent, Winter Nessa whose sync is worse than Candice, Winter Leon who’s good, and SS N who has the two-turn move and is fairly risky.  I dunno, man.  I can’t see it.  But on the flip side.  Lorelei and Glacia potentially getting alts would be great.

BUG Lusamine, Viola, Bugsy, Noland, Burgh, Guzma.  To be blunt.  Not great.  Guzma’s bad, Bugsy needs a lot of support, Noland is slow as hell, Viola needs a lot of support, Lusamine’s too frail, and Burgh is kinda awkward too.  Even with premium, it’s like...hope you pulled SC Train Bros!  I could see them doing a rerun with Bug just to drum up sales.  That said, Aaron or Alder alts.  I...don’t think DeNA has confidence in them.

POISON You cannot possibly think the type with only ten sync pairs is doable.  You cannot possibly.  Unless this mode is surprisingly easy, to the point the F2P units like base Janine and Lucy can serve as damage dealers, there aren’t even enough options.  Though if an E4 member gets it, Koga alt.

ROCK Technically, there are enough Rock types.  Brock, SS Brock, Olivia, Roark, Grant, Kukui, Gordie.  But man, no.  Brock, SS Brock, and Grant are terrible.  Kukui’s not much of a damage dealer.  Gordie’s good but takes a bit.  Olivia’s only good at EX.  Roark fucks, though.  I just don’t see it.  Though it could be Diantha and Aurorus, or an Olivia alt.  I’m okay skipping this.

GROUND Worse than Poison.  Hapu, Clay, Courtney, Bertha, and Naomi.  Naomi’s limited time.  Clay and Hapu are atrocious.  Even with preomium you only add SS Giovanni, Cynthia, and Maxie.  This does not feel viable.  But man, I’d kill for a Bertha alt.

STEEL Solgaleo, Molayne, Wikstrom, Thorton, Jasmine if you’re being cheeky, and Alolan Grimsley.  At least premium works, with Raihan and Gloria being pretty solid EX options, and Steven’s grid expansion happening.  P!Marnie is also really good on her own.  But the F2P angle will struggle like crazy.  Under ordinary circumstances, I’d say Steven and Mega Aggron.  But he’s getting two alts.  And as funny as making it three and hitting seven before anyone else hits six would be.  I doubt it.  Could be Wikstrom but I’m not counting on it, especially after Shauna stole Booboo Keys.

FLYING Blue, Winona, Kahili, Nate, Darach, Lodge Serena.  Not a ton of options.  Premium adds Lysandre, Anni Steven, NY!Lance, Anni Skyla, and SS Ethan.  So there are options.  This would also be the best way to tie in a Lance alt, if they’re going to, since he’s actually a flying-type master.  But I’d personally want Kahili.  Though admittedly, I’m torn.  I want her with Oricorio, who would go the Dawn route of being a different type, and that wouldn’t mesh here.  Wait.  Wait wait wait, Baile Oricorio could fit under Fire, hold up.

FIGHTING Wally, Bruno, Korrina, Brawly, Marshal, Bea.  That’s not too bad.  Premium opsn SC Guzma, SC Diantha, and C!Hop.  I’d say it’s a solid maybe?  Bruno or Marshal alts could definitely happen.  I wouldn’t mind either, really.  If Marshal, Mienshao maybe.  If Bruno, Hitmonchan would be nice.

PSYCHIC Okay, you all know what’s coming, but please hold your criticisms to the end.  I actually don’t think Psychic would be a nice one to do for F2P.  Oak isn’t great, Caitlin has no grid expansion and is pretty bad, Calem’s bad, Tate’s pretty bad, Will’s not great, Bianca’s fairly poor as a sync nuke.  Giovanni and Lucian, however, are fantastic.  So that’s two actually good options surrounded by mediocrity.  Much like Fire, only worse, Psychic type is mostly premium options.  SS Lusamine, SS May, SS Steven, Lear.  All the really good ones are premium.  Which, I think, could be what they aim for.  You want it to be possible for F2P to keep your general reputation of accessibility, but make it challenging so people get the message: you want as many of each given type as possible.  Psychic would be a good one to go to, because I can vouch for Caitlin, and plenty of showcases have vouched for Will and Bianca.  It’s doable.  It’s just rough.  And if they add a new sync pair as incentive, the options are few and far between.  Steven’s accounted for, so it can’t be him and Claydol.  Diantha already has her Gardevoir.  Wallace and Cynthia don’t have Psychic-types.  Which means it would have to be a specialist.  Will, Lucian, and Caitlin.  And ask yourselves: which of those three is most likely to be used to generate profit for a new mode?  This is my only hope...

GHOST A few months ago, I feel like Ghost would’ve been impossible.  But man, Shauntal grid?  Agatha grid?  Fantina expansion?  Even Naomi’s pretty good.  Morty and Allister aren’t too bad.  Ghost would be entirely possible.  You even have premium like Anni Lillie, Renegade Cynthia, NY!Dawn, H!Morty, and SS Korrina.  Plus, if it is a Cynthia alt?  Spiritomb feels like a popular demand, and we just got C!Marnie who dominates Dark type.  It would track.  But I also really want a Shauntal alt, and I’d love it if she got Cofagrigus.

DARK Given C!Marnie, I can’t imagine they try to drum up hype with a Dark type, but let’s play pretend.  Karen, Nanu, Grimsley, Sidney, Masked Royal, BP Karen.  Premium adds H!Hilbert, SS Cyrus, Summer N, and C!Marnie.  The F2P isn’t even bad.  Cynthia and Spiritomb noted again, but Sidney, Karen, and Grimsley alts would all be on the table.  Well...maybe not Sidney.  Karen stands some chance.  Grimsley’s most likely but I’ll be mad if he hits 4 before Caitlin hits 3.

DRAGON “What if it’s Lance?”  Yeah, I guess.  Anyway.  Iris, Clair, BP Zinnia, Lisia, Cyrus, Zinniquaza.  This is actually not a great spread for F2P.  C!Iris, Lance, SS Serena, Anni Raihan, SS Cynthia, and Lucas are pretty great though.  It’s possible, and we get plenty of dragon options.  Lance is the obvious one, though there’s Drake, and this would be a nice time to add Drasna to the general pool.  Or Diantha and Goodra, I suppose.  Oh.  Or Leon, actually, now that I think about it.  Dragapult.  That one’s pretty obvious, and it’s been a long time since Leon.  But they also just did a huge wave of Galar, so I’m not expecting it.

FAIRY Valerie, Mina, Sycamore, Lodge Lillie.  We don’t even have five options.  Premium also is a mixed back.  P!Serena, Diantha, SS Wally, Bede, and NY!Lisia are good, but P!Dawn is...fairly lacking, and Summer Lyra’s just bad.  This one could be rough.  I also...can’t think of anyone who functions with Fairy?  Cynthia and Togekiss?  Give it Dynamax like the anime, I guess?  I dunno.

Final Thoughts I think the most sense goes to something that’s completely possible for F2P, but poses enough of a challenge that premium options would be preferred, to generate hype around a new scoutable sync pair.  Water and Grass actually feel over-prepared, it might be too easy to win the first round with one of those types.  Fairy, Poison, Ice, and technically Ground don’t even have enough options, while things like Steel, Dark, Fighting, Rock, and Bug feel like they’re reliant too much on 5* options to get to just five options.  Fire, Electric, Flying, Psychic, Ghost, and Dragon are all possibilities that have enough options to work with on an F2P budget without over-emphasis on 5*s.  Though despite having few units, I’d argue Ghost is like stupid good now.  Of them, obviously I’m hoping for Psychic.  Because Caitlin alt.  But those seem likely.  So...

If Fire, hoping for Baile Oricorio Kahili.

If Electric, I literally cannot think of a reasonable possibility, surprise me.

If Flying, I’d hope for Kahili with something, but am willing to say give it to Lance if you want.

If Psychic, Caitlin and Gothitelle please for the love of god.

If Ghost, it’s likely Cynthia and Spiritomb, but Shauntal and Cofagrigus would be great.

If Dragon, fuck it give Leon Dragapult, he’s earned it.

#pokemon masters

[d3athth3d3ku]

Someone write this, I'm begging you;

Daddy shark kirishima-

--someone of your choice /a1/b classmate/ (y/n) /

—they start calling kiri 'Shark-ishima' maybe it starts as a joke but as they become closer it turns into 'Shark-Ei' and it's their own personal name for him, and endearment of their affection to the oblivious ray of sunshine, (maybe they develop a mild~ obsession with kiri's teeth, or just find his qualities cute)

(I don't care if it's an AU or they are Heroe's, but sometime after graduation Ei FINALLY gets the hint they LIKE LIKE HIM, and he joking he says you can call me daddy shark, and they finally get together! (I don't have a daddy kink, but you might)

-insert fic-

Alternatively; jealousy, maybe a classmate starts calling Kiri 'Shark-ishima' and -insert partner- gets jealous and starts possessively calling him 'Shark-Ei' In Front of that friend until it develops into feelings? -insert fic-

(This idea spawned from THIS voice clip on Zedge of Kiri saying; ''*Chuckles* now just relax, leave everything to daddy shark' heard on Zedge looking for ringtones; )

#bnha #bnha eijiro kirishima #kirishima eijirou #daddy shark #kirishark #sharkishima #kirishima shark #daddy kirishima #this ray of sunshine #bakugou x kirishima #Kirishima x tetsutetsu #kirishima x midoriya #kirishima x y/n #kirishima x gender neutral reader #kirishima x you #someone write this #mha kirishima #bnha kirishima

[sakura-samsara]

Story Event from his perspective: "You are still my beloved, though you've forgotten the past"

Yoichi's Route: Premium End

Please note that this story event route has minor spoilers for Yoichi's main story!

← Chapter 2

✧ part one

Yoichi: Hey. Can I tell you something?

Yoichi: To tell you the truth, what I said about how we were in love… It was just a lie. 

Yoshino: What…?

The smile faded from Yoshino’s face. 

Yoichi: I just wanted to tease you after you’d lost your memory, but now I realize it was a bad joke to have played on you.

Yoichi: Sorry ‘bout that.

Yoshino looked dumbfounded, as though she was still struggling to process his words.

Yoshino: All of this… was a lie?

Yoichi: …

Yoichi’s eyes widened in shock. 

Once, back when he and Yoshino had been enemies and he had tried to take advantage of her, 

She had said those exact same words to him.

Yoshino: You told me that I was your one and only woman.

Yoshino: And you’ve been so kind to me since I lost my memory. 

Yoshino: …All of it… Was just a lie…?

There was a slight tremor in her voice as she questioned him.

Yoichi: (Of course it wasn’t.)

The sadness in her words could have suffocated him.

He was overwhelmed with the desire to embrace her tightly and take back his lie,

But he gritted his teeth and suppressed it.

Yoichi: …All the other occupants of this household are men, so it’s probably not a comfortable place for you to be right now.

Yoichi: You’re a skilled apothecary. You could do well for yourself somewhere else.

Yoshino: Are you telling me to leave…?

Yoichi: No. I mean to tell you that you’re free to go anywhere you want.

Yoichi: Wherever you end up going, we can prepare a place for you to live. You have nothing to worry about.

He deliberately smiled gently at her.

But Yoshino fell silent and hung her head. 

Yoichi: (...I lied to you again, didn’t I?)

Yoichi: (I don’t want you to have that look on your face ever again.)

✧ part two

Yoichi: (I don’t want you to have that look on your face ever again.)

But he still wouldn’t take back his lie. 

Yoichi stifled his regret and turned on his heel.

Yoichi: Come around whenever you feel like it. If you really can’t stand to see the sight of my face again, I won't mind if you just visit the other guys. 

Once he had said those words, he began to leave, but—

Yoshino: Wait!

Yoichi: …

His breath caught as Yoshino suddenly grabbed his hand.

She looked just as shocked as he felt that she’d stopped him before he could go.

Yoshino: Oh… I-I’m sorry.

Yoshino: I did it… without thinking.

Yoichi: (She grabbed onto me reflexively…?)

Being stopped by her in such a way filled him with overwhelming feelings—and an equally irresistible urge. 

—The next thing he knew, he was holding her tightly in his arms.

Yoichi: You really are a sly one. Even though you don’t even remember me…

Yoichi: The “Yoshino” I knew is definitely still in you.

Yoichi: (The only woman I've ever been with for this long... The only woman I've ever loved.)

Yoshino: Yoichi-san…

Yoshino’s gentle voice, the sound of which he knew so well, only made the unbearable pain in his chest worsen. 

Yoshino: Were we truly not in love with each other…?

Yoichi: …Yeah. It was just me who had fallen for you.

Yoichi: Nothing more than an average one-sided love. 

✧ part three

Yoichi: …Yeah. It was just me who had fallen for you.

Yoichi: Nothing more than an average one-sided love. 

Yoichi gently separated himself from Yoshino.

She said nothing more as he left.

 

Later that evening, Yoichi was in his room, drinking alone in silence.

Yoichi: (...I can’t help but drink.)

After all, Yoshitsune had just informed him that Yoshino was soon to leave the manor.

Yoichi: Damn, this really has turned into an unrequited love affair.

He murmured sarcastically to himself in his desolation.

Yoichi: (I can’t stand that I’m getting sentimental over her leaving me, when it was me who pushed her away.) 

Yoichi: (...But at least she’ll be able to live her life in peace now. That’s good enough for me.)

Yet the gaping emptiness in his heart could not be filled—neither by the liquor he was drinking, nor his attempts to convince himself that he’d done the right thing.

Just as he was about to pour more sake into his cup, he heard a voice coming from outside his door.

Yoshino: Yoichi-san, I’m coming in. Please excuse me.

Yoichi: (Yoshino?)

Yoshino entered his room, carrying a small wooden box in her hand.

Yoshino: Oh… You’ve been drinking sake?

Yoichi: Hm? Oh, yeah. Are you surprised?

Yoshino: No, that’s not what I meant—I just…

Yoichi: (She did look surprised, though.)

He wondered a bit as to why, but he didn’t ask her about it.

He’d gone too far to let himself regret it now.

Yoichi: (Did you come to say goodbye?)

Yoshino: (I guess you’re just that conscientious.)

Her sincerity was something he adored about her, but now, it also broke his heart.

Yoichi deliberately gave her a languid smile like he always did.

Yoichi: You must be leaving, right? I think it’s probably for the best for you.

Yoichi: I bet you’re worried about still not having your memories, but you could go back to your old hometown and—

Yoshino: You’re a liar, Yoichi-san.

Yoichi: …Huh?

✧ part four

Yoshino: You’re a liar, Yoichi-san.

Yoichi: …Huh?

Yoshino’s gaze pierced straight through Yoichi. 

Yoichi: …A liar? That’s a little harsh.

Yoshino: So why are you smiling?

Yoichi: …

His smirk disappeared from his face, and the teasing jest he was about to make was quickly silenced.

Yoshino: Do you smile even when you’re in pain? You just bottle it all up inside without telling anyone what you’re really thinking?

Yoichi: I dunno what you mean. 

Yoshino: That’s a lie, too. You should know what I mean better than anyone else.

Yoshino: …Because it’s such a strange thing.

Yoshino: You certainly lied to me and played with my heart on more than a few occasions.

Yoshino: But from time to time… your eyes were so sad when you looked at me.

Yoichi: (...!)

He felt a bit shaken, knowing that she’d noticed what he thought he’d hidden.

But he tried not to let it show on his face.

Yoichi: I guess I could only hide it so much, yeah? I’ve been pretty torn up inside.

Yoichi: I had a one-sided thing for you, after all.

He lifted his sake cup to his lips as he tried to get out of explaining himself,

But Yoshino leaned forward and caught his wrist before he could take a sip.

Yoshino: Yoichi-san… Please just tell me the truth.

Yoshino: I’ll be leaving the manor soon. So before I do, I want you to tell me what you truly feel.

Yoshino: Don’t just… Don’t just drink all by yourself with such a plain, colorless cup!

Yoichi: (What—?)

Yoichi: What did you just say?

Yoshino: Eh?

Yoshino’s eyes became as round as coins as she thought back on what she said.

Yoichi: (A plain, colorless cup…)

It was only then that Yoichi realized he’d chosen such a cup for his liquor tonight.

Yoichi: Whenever I pick the kind of sake cup I want to drink with, I choose for its color and shape based on how I feel at the moment.

Yoichi: But I’ve never told that to the current you…

Yoshino’s eyes shimmered with tears of agitation.

Yoshino: I-I don’t know how I knew. But somehow I just had a feeling…

✧ part five

Yoichi: Whenever I pick the kind of sake cup I want to drink with, I choose for its color and shape based on how I feel at the moment.

Yoichi: But I’ve never told that to the current you…

Yoichi stared at her in disbelief, while Yoshino’s eyes shimmered with tears of agitation.

Yoshino: I-I don’t know how I knew. But somehow I just had a feeling…

Yoichi: (She doesn’t know? But she remembers something that I once told her myself?)

He desperately restrained his urge to press her on the matter.

Yoichi: (I’m at a loss for how to respond to that…)

Then, after seeming to have thought intensely on it, Yoshino carefully opened the lid of the box she had brought with her.

Yoshino: I found this while I was packing my things in my room.

Yoshino: I don’t remember ever owning it, but… as soon as I saw it, I knew that it was mine. 

Yoichi: Huh? What could this…

Yoichi: !

He was astonished when he saw what was within the box—

It was a sake cup that the two of them had once made together.

Yoichi: (Back then, she’d said that even if we became enemies again, she wouldn’t throw away the memories we made…)

His heart overflowed with a surge of affection.

Yoshino: I want to… I want to remember the “me” who you must have missed. 

Yoshino: And I’m sure that “I” would have missed you very much, too.

Yoshino: Because, even now, I… 

He couldn’t wait for her to finish before he pulled her close and stole a kiss from her lips.

Yoichi: …I take it all back. I’m not going to give up on you.

Yoichi: I’ll show you how much I feel for you—I’ll show you with all of my body, and all of my heart. Please, respond to me.

Yoichi: I love you more than anything.

As he spoke his true feelings for the first time, Yoshino’s body slowly became weak in his arms. 

Her own arms wrapped around his back in reciprocation of the embrace—a response that was already familiar to him.

It was as though her body remembered the gesture and knew how to respond in kind. Overwhelming ardor filled his heart.

Yoichi: (I’ll make her remember that she loves me too.) 

Yoshino: Yoichi-sa…

Silencing the lips that called his name,

He kissed her deeply, passionately, as if to open the gates of her memory.

Epilogue →

#ikemen genjiden #ikemen genjiden yoichi #ikemen genjiden events #i wasn’t going to get the epilogue but #after reading this end i desperately needed closure lmfaoo #ikemen genjiden translations

[wildcard-rumi]

🤡😈🎶 for the fic writer asks and 4, 19, and 31 for the OC asks! ^^

🤡 - What's a line, scene or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Honestly there's three main ones that come to mind and I was so disappointed that none of them got attention from readers, although I guess that just tells me that my sense of humour isn't very good.

Two of them are from my P5R Chat fic, the first one being the group talking about Goro giving Ren his phone number after the interview where Ren says the Thieves do more than the cops and everyone laughing at Goro with Futaba jokingly saying "Oh shit, this guy called a loser on national TV, I have to slide into those DMs"

The other P5R Chat fic one is from the showbiz chat (between Goro, Ann, Sumire and Hifumi) and they're talking about all the interviews Goro used to do and how often he'd be asked about his type of woman when, in this fic, Goro is gay. So he remarks about "What was I supposed to say? 'What do you look for in a woman?' I don't. I look elsewhere."

And the last one was from my Gorotaba siblings fic where Futaba is teasing Goro over text about his crush on Ren and how he won't admit it, so she sends a link and says it's Goro and I actually put a link in the fic and it sends you to a YouTube video of I Won't Say I'm In Love from Hercules.

Explaining these jokes here suddenly makes them not seem funny anymore and now I'm just embarrassed. Also, I've noticed that all three examples are me teasing Goro. I love this boy, but I love teasing him even more.

😈 - Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

I never really write sad stuff to be mean. Mostly I just have a sad idea, it makes me sad and I realise it would work really well so I write it and sometimes it comes out sadder than I first thought. For example, For The Best was the first fic that made me cry while writing it and that caught me completely off guard.

However, I will admit, I did add in some extra scenes in the flashback section of Someone I Used To Know just because it would make it more painful and while, yes I was grinning when the idea hit me, I don't consider it playfully mean because I was hurting myself too.

🎶 - Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I'm stuck on my phone so listening to music is pretty much the only thing I can do while writing because fuck you I'm not paying for YouTube premium even though it would really help me focus because for some reason hearing people talking instead of music helps me focus more.

And unfortunately, I'm stuck listening to the same songs on repeat and have been for months because my phone's music app is weird and randomly deleted a bunch of songs and won't let me get more. No, I don't know how to fix it. And yes, being stuck with the same 200 songs on repeat for the past... Half a year? Has been driving me to insanity, thanks for asking.

Don't even suggest using Spotify because I am a grandma in a 22 year old's body and I have no fucking clue how to use technology.

4 - A character you rarely talk about

Unfortunately, that's most of them... Especially since certain ones get a lot more attention than others. But it's mostly the ones with personalities I find difficult to write... So usually the serious, responsible members of the group because chaos is way easier to write.

19 - Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Honestly? Probably Sora. Because I made them after realising I was non-binary so they're my first OC who doesn't fall within the gender binary (They're genderfluid) and I basically made their personality just a free spirit like they're cheeky, they're loud, they're confident, they're unapologetic. They're basically everything I wish I was. Except for their fashion sense, I deliberately made their fashion sense terrible to make them more endearing and funny... And to piss off Kenji, who is extremely fashion conscious.

31 - Pick one OC of yours and explain what their Tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Oh god, describing things has always been the thing I'm worst at... I dunno... I guess Aki? His blog would be full of pictures of him skating, his friends, food he really enjoyed and random rants about whatever series he's watching at the time??? And I don't even know the first thing about layouts... I meant it when I said I was useless with technology, okay?

[teenmomcentral]

Teen Mom’s Farrah Abraham got a special Valentine’s Day gift from her boyfriend this year! The former MTV star revealed her partner, whom she has yet to publicly identify, got a vasectomy in her honor for the love-filled holiday.

“Best V-Day gift is getting a vasectomy,” Farrah, 32, shared with her Instagram followers on Tuesday, February 14. “It’s a match.” In the snap, the mom of one wore a nurse costume and held up a shirt that said, “Snipped and equipped.” Her boyfriend sat next to her in the photo, but Farrah cut his identifiable features out of the frame.

In another slide, the 16 & Pregnant alum advertised a Valentine’s Day event for her premium subscribers, telling fans to join her as she shared how her “man got a vasectomy.”

This wasn’t the first time that Farrah hinted that a vasectomy was the way to her heart. In December 2023, she joked that 2024 was the year to “get your man a vasectomy.”

“Ladies it’s 2024 and what does that mean? Vasectomies are in,” she told her followers in an Instagram video clip. “Men can get vasectomies for free … And to store your eggs is expensive … So I don’t know why we always chose plan B over plan A.”

Farrah first confirmed her new romance in November 2023 by sharing a series of videos with the mystery man on Instagram on Thanksgiving. There was no confusion that the connection was romantic, as the photo collage she shared included shots of them frolicking on the beach, kissing in the water, lounging on a boat and more.

Since debuting the romance, Farrah has kept the identity of her new partner a secret but did tell TMZ that her boyfriend was not a public figure and that they were similar in age. He also allegedly purchased a second home to be closer to Farrah and her 14-year-old daughter, Sophia.

The Nebraska native ​told the outlet about the unconventional way ​she met ​her man — through her OnlyFans page in 2021. After being introduced on the adult content platform, Farrah and her now-boyfriend matched on a dating app. She spent three months ​working with a dating coach before looking for love. The pair made their romance official in September 2023 and ​Farrah reportedly made him sign a non-disclosure agreement.

#teen mom #mtv #news #farrah abraham

[dollwritesarchive]

AHH HI BABE HAVE YOU WATCHED JJK 0 YET!!? I JUST FINISHED IT AND IM SOOO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU THINK ❤ All I'll say now is that I love yuta hes the sweetest and I want to adopt him 🥺 BUT ALSO THE FACT THAT NOBODY TOLD ME IT WAS ONLY FOR CRUNCHYROLL PREMIUM?? I had to start a free trial for that bitch 🙄

So I'm literally terrified of spiders but if you do get a little guy and name him rui I would love to see him ❤

LOL my love note to dabi def could have been alot longer hes the loml AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE TIKTOKS OF HIM!! You know when you show your friends your crush and they're like erm eww? I WOULD HAVE BEEN CRUSHED IF YOU DIDNT LIKE HIM LMAO. Yeah I'm gonna ignore what you said about dabi content bc if I think about it too much I'm gonna have a stroke lol

I'm just finishing up watching game of thrones right now and when I'm done I'm gonna start aot for your man 😁 very much looking forward to talking about him w you 👀

I havent seen jojo's bizarre adventure yet actually so that's another one I'll add to the list!! I'll be honest I tend to avoid certain animes that are predominantly watched by men lol but if you like it then I'm pretty positive I will too! 👀

I also wanna say that you're doing so well with kinktober 🥺 you're absolutely CRUSHING these fics I cant believe how many you've gotten done already 🖤

TIKTOK TIMEEEE

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRaVPvEp/ idk why I find this so funny lol

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRaVfcrx/ AUDIO WARNING WEAR HEADPHONES LMAOO

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRaVmnnE/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRaVkkP2/ HELLO 🤤

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRaVDWgQ/

I WATCHED IT FINALLYYYY I WAS HOLDING ON TO THIS ASK UNTIL I COULD

Yuta. Yuta baby. Yuta baby must be protect. I adore him so much

ALSO TOGE RANKING UP THERE WITH THE BIG BOYS EVEN AS A FIRST YEAR KING SHIT ONLY. The get crushed scene had me HOLLERING

Luckily I already have a crunchyroll premium acc -_- BECAUSE I HATE ADS and you get discounts on their merch store.

DABI NOOO I don’t think that was possible, I’d seen him around and I thought he was hot before, but never seen him in action BUT you and I have very similar tastes in our (evil) men 🥵 so I was DESTINED to like him

Speaking of which, if you have any scene packs of him… 👁👁 I would have both of my eyes open and watching!!

YES TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF AOT WHEN YOU WATCH IT! Season 1 is the hardest to get through but the rest are incredible ❤️❤️

JOJO IS SO FUN I’m not gonna lie it’s probably one of my favorites now? It’s a comfort show for me at this point 😭 I would be interested to see what you think of dio ( I shall include a tiktok or two 🥹 )

THE TIK TOKS YOU SENT LMAOOO THE SANEMI OBANAI ONE “giyu trying to get involved” NOBODY LIKES YOU BABY BOY BUT I DO KDKDKKS

Whew all the Giyuu ones you sent IM ACTUALLY FERAL FOR HIM. Something about the quiet ones I know he’s lowkey unhinged

AHHHH I GOT ONE OF YOUR REQUESTS DONE AND IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR HOW YOU LIKE THE FICS!!

Let’s take a look at my latest favorites tiktoks to send you 🤧

Akaza actually is so sexy I’m so obsessed

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRmbSTfT/

HEHE HEADPHONES MAY BE REQUIRED

This one made me laugh way too hard I was about to be in tears

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRmbA7wm/ dropping this one for the dabi art ❤️BUT I CANT REMEMBER IF YOU SENT THIS TO ME OR NOT SO IF YOU DID I SORRY BABY watch it again 🥺

And I’ll give ya some good jojo ones

Here’s dio, owner of my pussy and ass and also heart 💕

AND ALSO WHO CAN FORGET KARS, an ancient Aztec vampire

SORRY THAT WAS SO MANY IM JUST EXCITED TO TALK TOO YOUUUUUU

#jjk nonnie ! #I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AND I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU WHILE I WAS WATCHING JJK0 #I’ll be honest the scene with gojo and the guy with the baret… I didn’t like that. the ‘wow’ threw me off KDKDKDK