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#kylo ren reader insert
cummingforkylo · 1 year
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it was a short dream, little snippets of feeling, fleeting visions of something you’ve longed for, for a long time. it’s been too long since he’s come to you in your sleep and haunted you, possessed your mind and body in a way you couldn’t ever really comprehend. 
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this time it was his heavy hand holding you jaw, fingers digging into the hollow space between jaw bone and neck muscle. even though it was just a dream, you could recognize Kylo’s hands, the supple leather gloves with heat radiating from underneath them. 
instantly you were pathetic, truly, pathetic. you whined, you struggled a little against his hand. his hand at your neck, holding your jaw was enough to send tingles through your body and that embarrassed you so you resisted. you resisted against your own thoughts, you resisted so he didn’t think you liked it, you resisted against your better judgement. 
in a flash of dream reality, he had released you and was trailing a finger down your naked chest, while you trembled in the cool air. his name spilled from your lips in fear, “kylo,” you said. his eyes flicked up to you, you could see the coals of annoyance, and of desire burning behind his eyes. the lust masked by irritation, the irritation radiating off him in waves. you had frustrated him in some way but you had no idea how. the dream was confusing you. all you knew was that any touch of those gloved fingers was enough to transport you, to make you not only want but need and you hated admitting that. you hated admitting that your desire transcended reality and infiltrated your dream world. 
naked in front of him, kylo’s eyes moving over your body, “whine all you want, girl.” his voice mocked you, even if you had stilled a little since his fingers released your jaw, you still quaked under his touch, his gaze. “you can’t escape me,” he said. fear seemed to spike in you but fear and excitement co-mingled, mixed and became a confusing mess. his fingers trailed lower down your chest, your nipples were already hard. you told yourself it was from the cold air and not from the fear/excitement mix that churned away deep in your belly. the reason your nipples were hard was of no relevance to Kylo though, he brushed his gloved thumb across the stiffened nipple almost delicately, it  gave you a rush of heat up your chest and down low in your belly as well. you didn’t want to focus too much on the heat in your belly, you were convinced if you focused on it, it would become real. your body would betray you even in your sleep and you were convinced he would just know. 
the dream reality seemed to quiver around you, everything blurred for a moment and you squeezed your eyes shut. when they opened, your legs were open to him, exposing those tender parts of yourself and in an intense wave of horror and pleasure in equal measures you saw kylo was laid low in front of you, devouring you. as you watched, paralyzed with horror, everything inside you rolling with pleasure, he consumed all those tender parts and your body seemed to open further and further. there was wetness spreading from between your legs, but you could not tell if that warm wet was juices or if it was blood, or a mixture. you tried to focus on one of the feelings to attempt to parse out if it was blood or excitement leaking from you but the pleasure and the pain oscillated so frequently that you couldn’t capture one more than the other. your mouth opened, trying to find a voice to scream. kylo’s eyes looked up at you, meeting your gaze and everything about his darkened eyes felt wrong, inhuman. you tried to grab at him but your hands were immobile as his jaw worked, consuming your body, tonguing your flesh, sucking up the wetness that worked its way out of your body. you were sure you saw blood on his lips. he ate, and ate and ate, bringing you to the brink of death and ecstasy, all while fear paralyzed you because you were certain he wasn’t going to let you go. 
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ladythornofrivia · 3 months
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MY SCAVENGER || Kylo Ren!Aemond x Rey!Reader
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a/n: i’ve been thinking about what one-shot I should do next. Though I’m currently writing Saltburn fanfic, I love Star Wars. Even Reylo! Have fun reading! (Some dialogue in the beginning doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the movie.)
warnings: interrogation, torture kink, lust at first sight, breeding kink, p in v sex, fight scene, violence, aemond has issues, loss of virginity, aemond is a d*ck, kink size, obsessive aemond, dom/sub, aemond not only uses the power of force on reader but also with his d*ck. Bl*wjob, degradation kink, creampie
pair: aemond x reader
Somewhere in the galaxy far away, the leader of the First Order, Aemond Targaryen, was hunting for the map that’ll lead him to Daemon Targaryen, the last Jedi ever existed. Or so he believed.
While Aemond knew the legends of his uncle and his journey as a Jedi warrior, but those who commanded under Aemond’s order and leadership, not a soul in a galaxy believed Daemon ever existed, not in the history textbooks or screens. The stormtroopers only meant to serve their skilled leader.
As young as he was, Aemond Targaryen is known for his cold and calculating nature. He kept his helmet on, under any circumstances, and wields a red lightsaber. Tall and lethal, no one really knew what he looked like—it left to the imagination far and wide, leading his troops picturing of his appearance. Aemond wouldn’t dare make his troops or his other commanding officers enter his private quarters.
In the galaxy, everyone feared him.
Until you.
A nobody living in the stories of galaxy.
Hunting for scraps and leftovers for the sake of small profit to keep on living. Finding rare scraps in Jakku, was meddlesome. A nightmare. Filled in stacks of desert sand and humid waves lingered and pierced your skin.
Deserted land has been your home. And in your home, inside the AT-AT Walker, after you scratch another tally mark on the metallic wall, you cooked a loaf of bread and fried vegetables and scraps of thin meat. You wondered when your life will begin anew with reborn purpose. A nobody, in the galactic space, hoped your family would return.
You hoped that your life isn’t meaningless.
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Jakku has been destroyed; in chaos, you’re forced to leave—of taking refuge, but more companions in your journey agreed that Jakku is nothing but a junkyard, and there you met a legendary shooter and a Wookie Warrior. But the plans failed.
For Aemond Targaryen spotted the map to Daemon Tarygaryen’s location. But the expectant acquirance wasn’t the astromech, droid BB8, rather, something far more interesting.
Aemond captured you—after minutes of chase and defense in the thickened forest. “Bring the girl,” he ordered, as your body fell to unconsciousness by the force, as he carried you and fled away with his ship, brought you to the First Order base, entrapped in metal straps as soon as you woke up.
Luminous lights and thick air provoked your tightened lungs to breath and your skin had broken a perspiration.
The doors opened, unveiling a tall, dark figure between the gaps of archway. Stomping on his shoes echoed until became nothing.
“Where are the others?” you asked, rasping, eyes hazed.
“You mean the murderers, traitors and thieves and cravens you call friends,” he said, taunting, his voice was nearly a merry. “You’ll be in such a relief that I have no clue to where they are.”
The reflection of his mask stared back at you. “You still want to murder me—challenge me,” he assumed.
“Well, that’s what happens if you’ve been chased and captured by the monstrous creature in a mask,” you snapped, low voice laced with venom.
His mask has taken off, long silk strands of silver-blond hair flowed over his chest, as the violet eye and the substitution of his sapphire gleamed at you. For a second, you never thought that your captor is skilled fighter, but it’s also young—young and handsome. His milky skin aglow, a good correlation to his deep stone wedged on the empty socket of his amputated eye, lined with scar that is faded. Outline of his jaw sharpened, shadowed as he strode closer to you.
Thundered, his mask dropped at a nearby stand, the grey sand flew and dissipated as his lithe frame inched closer.
“The droid,” he said, almost frantic. “Tell me about the droid. I know the droid has the map to Daemon Targaryen. Ever heard of him?”
Looking at his eye, you shook your head, “Never heard of him,” you answered, the illuminated lights flashed over your eyelids each time you blinked.
Aemond inched his face closer. “Your heart beat is pounding awfully loud.”
“Must be the heat,” you retorted.
He chuckled. “What a clever liar you are. But not clever enough. Now, tell me about the droid.”
“He’s a BB Unit with a Selenium Drive with a Thermal Hyperscan Vindicator.”
“It’s carrying a navigational chart, which the droid possesses the map.” His head tilted. “You, a scavenger, living on Jakku—a deserted planet with nothing to offer.” His face leaned closer. “You know I can take what I want.”
You swallowed, eyes flicking at his smooth pink-colored lips.
“My,” he said, licking his lower lip. “It appears you have some sort of interest in me, showed no signs of fear.”
You looked away, face reddened from the strict heat in the room and the huskiness in his voice. His hand outreached to your side temple, though no contact. You felt the Force strengthened and battled against the mobility of your system.
“You’re lonely. Alone and desperate. Waiting for someone to show up and rescue you. Waiting for someone to lead you out from the land, from the galaxy and into the great land with trees and life. I can sense the anger…not only that…something far more…delicate…in the matter based on your compromising position,” he cooed.
You resisted, of course, but your energy drained quicker.
His body leaned back, taking a good look of your exasperated form. “Tell you what, I’ll release you, but only if you can give something to me, in one condition.”
You (e/c) locked onto his. “And what would that be?”
Only the corners of Aemond’s lips curled.
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“Please, no,” you begged, wrists tied up behind your back while Aemond was sitting on a spare chair, his thick and lithe legs spread wide while you’re in between them, knees already hurting.
“Shhh, trust me, my little scavenger,” he cooed again, his gloved hand flattened behind your head and dragged it downward. “So, are you going to be my good woman, or do I have show you the force again?”
Gulping, you succumbed at his voice. Maybe another way of his “force”.
“Good woman,” he praised, and unzipped his black trousers, his long and thick cock sprung out it nearly hit your cheek below the eye. “Sorry, darling, my cock couldn’t help but to view at the sight of you,” he said, smirking, tugging your locks, hauling you closer to his engorged tip, leaking. Your lips opened, taken his length in, choking. It felt as if your eating a whole uncut rod—or a thicker lightsaber. “All trapped underneath me, my power. The force within can’t abide much later.”
Gagging proceeded in your throat, but you took his length in precarious and fervent care.
“That’s it,” he groaned, his other hand flicked, the force brought your head down further to the end of his swollen cock, his large balls. “Argh! That’s…it.”
It was impressive for him to not only deal with a woman with capable resistance, but also has a coy nature she has been hiding—a tease.
The force no longer hostage you; your mouth watered as you took his cock well, swallowing the taste of his flesh, his warm flesh. Oh, how delightful. You never dealt a Jedi or a commander to have desirable or naughty urges. But you figured that even the force cannot contain beastly urges of a man. Aemond was one. But, has he ever been a woman before you? Jealousy pitted down on your heated belly, flickering.
It felt so wrong, but, your heart was aching for him, despite “meeting” under the matters of selfish urgency and a brink of death.
Aemond sighed, his silver-blond locks befallen on his broad and lean backside, his throat bobbed, heaving and sighing at your warm and slick mouth.
“Your thoughts are troubling you again,” he said. “No, I have never been with a woman.”
You doubted. Tortured at the thought of a previous woman, a torture where a previous woman might do better than you—an inexperienced scavenger.
“I never lie,” he said. His index finger flicked, and the hair ties on your head casted, your longish locks flowed, nesrly covering up your breast. “In fact, I never did.”
Semen spurted in your slippery mouth.
“Take it all in, darling,” he encouraged, hearing your throat quenched its thirst, smothered in his slick and spurt of his thick semen.
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The room became hotter as Aemond strapped your wrists above your head onto the prison bed.
“Stay still, woman,” he grunted, his lips inched downward to yours, seeing if the pace of his breath matched with yours.
Your chest steadied from a grasping breath you tried to behold with gentleness. Aemond sensed it, too.
“You’re steady…Good.” And plunged his suppled lips to yours, caging your soft ragged breaths, playing your tongue with his, heavy sighs played out in the air, his palm snuck in your cloth, smooth fingertips tracing the lines of your stomach, the soft steep of ribcage.
“With you under my protection, nothing can go wrong, little scavenger,” he said, his tucked hand withdrew, and flicked a sharp movement, and your clothes shred and tossed across the room under his Force.
Gasping, Aemond silenced your lips again under a deep passion. A sheer underwear tucked your maidenhood. Frustrated, Aemond snatched and ripped in one swoop, his cock engorged twice, hardened, his throat dried and croaked at the sight of your flawless beauty, picturing the lines of stretch marks on your lower belly from the swollen pregnancy. Aemond thought beforehand that if the First Order has been under siege, in one way to promote a difficult position that couldn’t diffuse, he needed an heir, an heir of a stronger, faster and more calculating version of himself.
“Hold on, scavenger, I’m sure this will be painful for you, but you’ll grow to love the feeling of my cock, grinding inside your walls. How do you feel now, little woman? Are you willing to give an heir for me?”
You gasped. There was so much life ahead of you. Unsure of his words, you were sure he’s crazy to know that one, obtaining pregnancy is scandalous—especially if a father is a notorious leader. He could be killed, and could be tortured or his enemies will use you and the child to proceed their victory to reach Aemond.
Gulping and vibrating under him, you uttered. “Why me?”
Your heart is torn in half. What if Aemond is only using you as a spare time hobby? What if he’ll soon find a lover who’s more beautiful and mature and not childlike like you, and for you to be thrown in the dark and be forgotten? Numerous possibilities rushing in your mind—and halted—when Aemond said, “I won’t betray you. Betraying is the enemy’s job.”
“But you’re the enemy,” you remarked.
“In this room, you’ll only see the real me, as the real Aemond, a beast hidden in a skin of a man,” he murmured. “I must have you,” he grunted, pushing his cock into your constricted folds, pumping and sliding in a tremendous pace that the bed rocked.
Moans ascended in the roofs, Aemond’s quiet grunts entered through your ears. Your legs wrapped around his slender waist, bobbing as his powerful thrusts electrified your drenched walls.
Your eyes lulled, but Aemond grasped your face and aligned it to his, violet eye narrowed. “Look at me as I fuck you good—heavy and fast. Your belly will soon swell with a future Jedi, a more powerful warrior than any good-for-nothing troops in the galaxy.”
His legs ached as his one hand untied the knot on your wrist and hauled your body up for you to snuggle him, bed rocking continuously as your voice rasped, airily sighing with your eyes closed, almost seeing pink stars swirling in your closed lids, your mouth sucked Aemond’s neck, offered a low hiss through his teeth.
“That’s it, my good angel,” Aemond purred,the flat of his large hands enveloped and motioned against your naked back. The heat in the room faded, the coldness bumped into your bare flesh; the air condition is activated, encouraged your warm bodies to go at full speed.
“Aemond,” you moaned, head threw back.
Aemond’s pace became sloppy, staggered at you calling his name. “Say it again, my darling scavenger. Say my name.”
“Aemond…Aemond,” your hips gyrated, in pleasurable heat.
His lips curved. “I knew you would love it eventually.”
“Need you to come…inside me..in me…on me…in my mouth or face. Fuck me good,” you begged, corner of your lips salivating, tongue buds prickling, in hopes to taste his cock again.
But you missed the part where Aemond’s eye gleamed in darkened shade, in secret thrill.
Grabbing your hips, nails deepened and bruised your flesh and bones as his thrusts shoved harder, sending your voice wailing through the roof. You were sure that the Stormtroopers would stop and listen over your voice. Aemond couldn’t care less; he loved seeing you like this.
“Almost there, my scavenger,” he groaned, kissing your cheek, last few rounds set in; your arms slightly flailed yet gripped around his neck, face nuzzled onto his lean neck as he blasted hot white liquid inside you.
Kissing on several spots on your face, Aemond tugged your body down with him, with your side profile pressed against his chest, his hand rested on your back head while the other brushed your back.
“The child will soon grow into you,” he reminded.
“What about the droid?” you asked, puzzled.
Aemond scoffed. “Forget about that damn droid. It is you who I am enamored to, who I am now devoted to.”
“Is this the power of force?”
“No, this is my love yearning for someone—for you, my sweet,” he said. “The force is neither the army nor the galaxy. The force is within us, and only us can gather. The force can sometimes break us.”
“You didn’t break me,” you noted, admiring his sapphire eye.
Aemond smiled. “No, but you tamed the force within me.”
And you both shared a tender kiss under dimmed light.
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.⋆。His First Hit。⋆.
Kylo Ren x plus size reader
His Choice Masterlist
The time has come for him to collect his prize, beginning a dangerous habit
Chapter Warnings: dubcon, smut, size kink, virgin!reader, sort of implied virgin Kylo, unprotected sex, fingering, d/s dynamics, no aftercare, slight innocence kink
WC: 2.1k
Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
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Kylo Ren’s chambers were haunting. There was no soul in them, they were merely a collection of dark rooms that seemingly served no other purpose than to be her prison. The only sounds she could discern were the low hum of the massive star cruiser and the frantic beating of her heart in her ears.  
The cold floor bit into her bare feet as Y/N stood in the centre of the room, her hands folded before her, her head lowered, just as she had been instructed to do. She shuffled her feet, hissing as the pain of the chill began to work its way up to her ankles. There was a pain in her left inner arm from where the ship’s medic droid had placed an implant, she fought the urge to scratch at the small bump in her bicep, not wishing to displease her new master should he enter as she broke formation.
Just as her will was about to break, the huge blast doors opened and she snapped to attention. Her back going ramrod straight as the sith stepped into the room. He was somehow even larger under the dim lights of his chambers than he was under the three suns of your previous home. His black cloak swept the floor behind him as he entered without an acknowledgement to the woman before him.
Y/N flinched as the door slammed shut, her intertwined fingers tightening around each other. He remained silent as he stood by the simple desk in the corner of the room. There was a whoosh of fabric and from the corner of her eye, Y/N watched as he took his famed cloak off and draped it over the reflective surface, leaving him only in a black tunic and trousers.
His knotted muscles were exposed to her first as he shed the dark fabric from his shoulders. Y/N trembled in fear with each new inch of skin revealed, positively shaking when the Sith finally pulled his helmet off. Long black hair tumbled over his pale face, obscuring his eyes from view. “Have you ever taken a lover before?” His deep voice was strangely melodic, it was measured and calm, like he had been trained to speak that way.
Timidly, she shook her head. “Answer me, girl.” 
“I-I have not been with a-anyone sir.” She stammered, gaze dropping to the ground, immediately catching sight of her own reflection in the almost mirrored floor. Kylo’s yellow eyes glanced at the smaller woman. She had been cleaned, her skin was raw from the vigorous scrubbing she must have received before they left the planet. Two small bandages wrapped around her palms, the ends frayed from her fiddling.
Instead of that hordenous outfit those degenerates had stuffed her in, she was dressed in a floor length white gown with long sleeves. It covered almost all of her body, the hem brushing her toes as she stood before him, making her the picture of innocence, well it would, if the light fabric wasn’t completely sheer. No jewellery or makeup marred her natural beauty. As he stepped closer, he was able to see the slight imperfections in her skin that only added to her looks.
The sith smirked as he watched the darker skin of her nipples pebble under his lustful gaze. “I will be your only then. You will take no other.” Surprisingly warm hands cupped her jaw, tilting her head up so she could look upon her new master. Her eyes sparkled with fearful tears. He scoffed with what she supposed was disgust and released her.
“Strip.” He flicked his hand, indicating for her to do so as he sat on the edge of the huge bed in the centre of the room, spreading his legs in a show of power. Y/N nervously gulped, watching the giant of a man make himself comfortable, his naked muscles rippling. Her eyes flicked down his toned stomach to where his black trousers sat dangerously low on his hips, the dark patch of hair at the base of his pelvis barely exposed above the impressive bulge pressing against the fabric.
“Now, girl. I will not tell you again.” He snarled, his patience wearing out quickly. She jumped, a squeak of fear escaping her lips before trembling fingers began to undo the multitude of buttons down her front. She had a feeling he could sense her fear, his almost gruesome smirk growing with each centimetre of her soft flesh revealed.
The left shoulder of the dress slipped down her arm and Kylo’s eyes darkened. The top of the white fabric was now clinging to her heavy breasts, flaring out around her wide hips, allowing him to see her large stomach and thick thighs. “Spread your legs.” He growled, his voice dropping deeper than before. Sucking in a breath, she followed his order, baring her virgin cunt to him. 
She shook with anxiety as her captor remained silent, simply observing her. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his long finger intertwining beneath his slightly downturned nose. “Come.” Her steps were light, barely making any sound as she approached the dark haired man, allowing the dress to fall away from her body and landing in a heap on the floor.
Even while sitting, she barely reached his eye-line. “Hmm.” He hummed, big hands coming to rest upon her naked hips, sending a shockwave through her. The woman hiccuped, desperately trying to keep her tears at bay. Stories of the sith’s rages had been heard all over the galaxy and there was no telling what he would do to her if she refused him.
“You can say no, I will not force you.” Amber eyes burned brightly in the dim light as he drew her closer, their chests now mere inches apart. His change in mood sent her mind into a tailspin. How could he have been so demanding and imposing only a moment before and now seem so nervous and fearful? 
“I am yours.” She murmured, delicately laying her palms on the backs of his hands, guiding them up to her breasts. The others had told her that it would be easier if she gave in, if she told him what he wanted to hear he would grant her some kind of mercy. But Kylo’s scowl deepened at her words, his gaze fixed sternly on her face.
“The truth.” He growled, a firm warning. The air was electric between them, her fear and his rage curling into an explosive mixture that threatened to blow. She couldn’t speak, the lump in her throat preventing the words from escaping her lips as she trembled in his hold. She gasped.
Kylo, moving faster than she could comprehend, stood up, hands falling to her plump thighs. With one swift movement, he lifted her into the air, the tips of his fingers dug into her flesh, fitting perfectly in the little divots of cellulite. He turned and laid her on the sheets gently, allowing her legs to wrap around his thin waist as he planted his large hands beside her head.
The hard planes of his stomach pressed tightly to her, the heat from his body making her shiver. “I do not like liars.” Pressing his nose to her neck, he nuzzled the soft skin, inhaling her scent. “I find them deplorable.” Her eyes fluttered as his lips brushed against her pulse, his hips pressed forward, the bulge of his cock felt even bigger now. 
“So tell. Me. The. Truth.” Moans involuntarily slipped from her throat as he rolled his pelvis down, a warmth so foreign to her built quickly, wetness beginning to slick his trousers. Kylo groaned quietly, his tongue tracing the curve of her throat, tasting the salt of her skin, her sweat tinged with a sweet fear. 
Her hands shakily raised up and grazed his back lightly. He rewarded her by gently nibbling on her skin, lightly sucking to leave a dark bruise. She whimpered, fingers digging into the warm muscles of his back. She could feel the way the solid mass shifted underneath her palms, the raised skin of scars and various moles. 
Swallowing her fear and her pride, she spoke. “I want you.” He didn’t respond verbally, only slipping a hand between them to cup her heat. Her body seized at the unfamiliar sensation of one thick finger circling her tight opening, but he continued to collect her slick, teasing the small entrance. 
He was pressed into her soft inner thigh, slowly grinding against her as his cock throbbed within the confines of his pants. He felt her hips relax beneath his own, her thighs loosening their grip, and allowing for his palm to connect with her hooded clit. “Mmm.” Her lips parted, a moan so quiet, the sith barely heard it but it was enough for him. 
The ties on his trousers were quickly loosened and slipped down the curve of his taut ass. He waited until her large body relaxed with the beginnings of pleasure, the walls of her mind beginning to crumble, leaving her vulnerable to him. Taking his cock in hand, he guided himself to her, notching his tip at her entrance. 
The force rippled around them as he finally plunged into her. Her walls stretched and fluttered, struggling to take the heft of his cock as he pushed deeper and deeper. Her back bowed up into his strong chest, a scream caught in her throat. He groaned deep in his chest, letting out a hiccup of his own that was barely audible to her.
“Big.” She desperately clutched at his warm back, her legs falling open to try to accommodate his massive size. Kylo simply grunted in reply, his head falling to her collarbones and sucking on the delicate skin. His black hair fanned out over her shoulders. She could no longer see his face, so she allowed her eyes to drift upwards towards the high ceiling above them which was covered with a huge mirror, letting her see every inch of them both.
He was huge like this, hulking and overwhelming. The girl winced as he finally buried himself entirely within her. Pain bloomed beautifully in her lower stomach, setting her veins alight in a way she had never felt before. But as her lord began to move, a switch flipped off in her head. A numbness consumed her, forcing her body to unwind and accept his powerful drive into her warmth.
She winced with each thrust, her cunt burning with the stretch. She could feel the way his chest rumbled against her own with groans that he struggled to contain, the way his muscles flexed as he rolled his hips up into her own. One of his hands clutched desperately at her waist as he leveraged forwards, hitting a place inside her that she didn’t know existed.
All of her senses returned to her at once, her gasp carried through the room, bouncing off the walls before returning to her. She did not recognise the sound of her own voice. He snarled into her skin as her walls tightened around his thick cock. “Mine.” She could barely hear him over the rush of blood in her ears but as he growled it again, her heart sank. 
Squeezing her eyes shut, she recalled the lessons the other women had given her. With his next thrust, she lifted her hips from the best as best she could, meeting his own hips with a wet slap. Everything paused for a moment, and then his grip tightened on her.
The scream was ripped through her throat before she could stop it as Kylo punched into her cunt, forcing her to take his brutal pace. The bed creaked, creaking a symphony of sounds with his small groans and her barely contained whines. 
It was all too much for her, the pleasure, the pain, the feel of the man above her. She clung to his back, her short nails digging into his warm skin as some kind of anchor while her mind began to go fuzzy. His large nose nudged at her neck and she mewled. 
Her stomach tensed beneath him and she felt his lips quirk briefly before suddenly, everything went blank then stars exploded behind her eyes. Her orgasm slammed into her just as he met his own end. He made no noise as he spilled into her, simply letting out a controlled breath through his nose before he pulled away.
Kylo stood, leaving her shaking and messy upon his sheets as he gazed down at her. He dressed silently but did not yet replace his helmet. “Sleep. Food will be sent later.” 
The blast doors shut behind him as she succumbed to her exhaustion, left alone in her cage.
When Y/N finally awoke, several hours later, she was alone. She was dressed as if the events from that night had never occurred, yet there was one piece of evidence that it had not been a dream- a heavy collar hung around her neck, keeping her chained to the bed.
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imaginedisish · 1 year
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how do you sleep? (Ben Solo x fem!reader)
Part 1: We'll Never Have Sex
A/N: Hey guys!! So here is the first part of my Ben Solo x fem!reader fic. It is going to be told in non-chronological order, and every single part can be read as a one-shot! The overall series is based on "how do you sleep?" by LCD Soundsystem, but this particular part is based on "We'll Never Have Sex" by Leith Ross. I hope you guys enjoy!!!
Summary: After a lifetime of pining and yearning between you and Ben while training with Luke, things finally come to a head. (Series takes place over the year before Ben turns to the dark side, and then the aftermath of that).
Warnings: SMUT, fingering (f!receiving), so 18+, obviously canon divergence, all chapters can be read as a one shot with no context, series warning for canon typical violence, cursing, probably poorly proofread bc I only proofread once, praise kink...
Word Count: 2,511
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Rain ruthlessly patters against the roof of the tent, threatening to leak through with each drop that came crashing down. You and Ben lay across from each other, a fire separating you, crackling in the center. You silently wish you were closer to him. You wish you could feel his calloused fingertips threading softly with your own. Maybe his hands would find their way to your waist, gently exploring your-
No. You can’t think like this, you’re not allowed to, never have been and never will be. You weren’t meant to get to have sex, married, to settle down, to have attachments of any kind. You were a Jedi, first, foremost, and only. 
But could love be that bad? Would being with Ben be so insurmountably terrible that it would corrupt both of you and bring disorder to the galaxy? Master Skywalker had told you it would, that an attachment of any kind would disrupt your training and your entire way of being. That notion had lost its meaning for you, and seemingly contradicted itself time and time again. If loving Ben was so horrific, why was it the only thing that made sense? 
“You okay?” He mutters, noticing that your eyes are glued to the fire, that stupid fire that stood in the way of being close to him. 
You mumble a yes in response, your mind far too clouded and nervous to say anything else. You were too busy convincing yourself that whatever bond you had with Ben defined the word yearn. You had known him your entire life, both having been trained by Luke practically since birth. And for as long as you could remember, you loved Ben Solo. 
And he loved you. 
But you held back, at least for as long as you could. As teenagers he had slipped up, kissed you while you had been sparring in the woods, far, far away from Luke. He had won the sparring match with your back to a tree, and he kissed you. 
Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me
Not to take me home
It was simple, it was sweetness
It was good to know
You talked about it once, and never again. You decided to hide it, to stuff the memory down, deep down where no one would ever be able to find it. Hiding wasn’t enough, it never was. You couldn’t forget it. Even now you dream of the taste of his lips on yours. You wish you could taste them now.
“You sure you’re okay?” His voice cuts through your thoughts, forcing you back to reality. He’s sat up now, looking down at you over the fire. 
You sit up too, forcing your gaze into the flames. “Yeah, I’ll be alright.” It was Master Skywalker’s fault for putting you and Ben on missions together, for keeping you two so close. He had to know how the two of you felt about each other. It was like some soul crushing test, some obstacle he expected you two to jump over and come out the other side stronger Jedi. 
He couldn’t have been more wrong. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last mistake a Skywalker made. 
“Do you…” He paused, waiting for your gaze to meet his. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes lock. “Do you wanna come over here?” He asks. He tilts his head to the side, searching for your response in your face before you can think of something to say. 
Say no, You think to yourself. Bad idea. Bad, terrible, awful idea. But your thoughts don’t seem to communicate with the rest of your body. You’re already standing up, walking around the fire, and sitting down on the edge of his cot, facing away from him. 
Ben rests a warm hand on your lower back, his thumb tracing circles and stars along your spine. It feels good, comforting – so it can’t be bad. You didn’t feel any evil bubbling up in your stomach, no pull into the darkness like had been foretold and prophesied. 
“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” Ben asks, there’s a smirk in his voice. You could hear it from a mile away. You turn your head to look down at him, and there it was, the cocky smirk. The second he sees the pain contorting your face, it slips away. You want it to come back.
You smile softly, reassuring him that everything was fine. “It’s just the nightmares.” It wasn’t a lie. They had certainly come back. You had dozed off a few minutes ago, and there they were. You weren’t going to fall back to sleep, not without him.
Ben responds by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you down onto the cot. You stretch out a bit, letting yourself get pulled under the current of whatever was about to happen. The loneliness was too much; being without him was too much. And those – of course – were the real issues, the real sickness that was plaguing you. 
You and Ben knew loneliness too well, far better than any being ever should. 
Having someone this close kept that sinking alone feeling at bay; trapped it in some deep, dark, unintelligible, inaccessible corner far out of your mind’s reach. The feeling of his arms holding you tightly in place dispersed it, decimated it, fragmented it into pieces that simply could not be put back together, as if they had never been part of a whole to begin with. 
You’ve never had someone this close for this long. You’ve never gone this long without that alone feeling nipping at your skin and cursing in your face. And yet, it had been silenced. It wasn’t just because of a someone. He silenced it. And you knew that he was the only one who could. No, this couldn’t have just been anyone. It had to be him. 
And only him. 
“Ben,” You whisper. He squeezes your hip lightly in response. The feeling sends a ripple of chills down your spine. 
You don’t know exactly how long it’s been like this, standing on the ledge of a building neither of you should jump off from. You lost track of the time a few years ago. But you certainly never lost track of him. 
He squeezes your hip again, his lips suddenly sinking against your neck. You swallow the heavy lump in your throat as his hips push against yours. You jump, I jump, You think to yourself as he presses open-mouthed kisses up to your jaw, his body slowly shifting so that he’s above you. You let yourself fall onto your back, staring up at him. 
It was so quick, so easy to melt under his touch. It was too easy, for both of you, to give into the thing that had connected you for years. It was too simple to get to where you are now for it to ever be bad, to be the start of another war. 
The words slip from your lips. “I think I love you…” But you didn’t think. There was no thinking about this sort of thing, especially with Ben. That think came from your nerves, from that part of you adroitly trained to push him and everything else away. You didn’t want this to go past think. Think sits in limbo, unsure of its position, suspended in fluidity and nonsense. 
“Think?” Ben enunciates each letter, as if to question each sign’s meaning. But the smirk on his face tells you he’s much less serious than that, and that he knows your intention is far more serious than that think. 
You clear your throat, but the anxious feeling continues climbing up your esophagus. “Yeah…” You trail off, failing to seem aloof. “I think I-,”
“I know.” The thunder outside attempts to rudely interrupt the crackle of the fire and the finality of his words, but you hear them all the same. 
“Know what?” You question as the tips of his fingers graze the sides of your neck, slowly and gently wrapping around, as if to hold you in place. 
There’s no nervousness etched across his forehead as those perfect lips of his part. His brows aren’t furrowed, he doesn’t clear his throat. That smirk still tugs on his lips, even more so in his eyes, begging to be stretched into a smile. He’s cocky – but sweet – because he knows you’re terrified beyond belief. He’s more comfortable crossing this line than you are.
He was made to cross lines. “I know I love you.” And he means it. He means it in a way that speaks for you too, in a way that takes your think and transforms it into something greater. It was permanent, static, steadfast. A know, not a think. 
Rain pounds violently against the roof and you’re almost thankful for it. It keeps your words from leaking outside and into unaccepting ears. The ears that you and Ben had sworn your life to, your being to, your duty to. You were consciously breaking that oath, that code, that order that you had lived by for as long as you could remember. 
Part of you wants to scream, How dare you? How dare you cross the man who taught you everything, gave you everything? But what if that everything wasn’t as important as what Ben was, as that know had suddenly become? 
You know the answer, you’ve known it for years, before this moment, before he kissed you against that tree. You know the answer every time you see his smile, those eyes. You know when you hear his voice, when you feel his hand at your back when you’re being reprimanded by Skywalker. And he knows it too. He’s known longer than you have. 
Never mind crossing the line, it’s gone now, as if it was never there to begin with.
His lips press fervently against yours, already begging for more. He fits perfectly there, above you, your bottom lip skimming against his teeth, being bruised and imprinted with each hungry kiss. 
He pulls away for a second, his chest rising and falling somehow faster than your own. You wonder if he can hear your heart beating out of your chest, the sound drumming violently against your own ears. His hands unclasp your throat, roaming down your body, exploring each curve and corner before resting at the hem of your shorts. 
“Wanted you,” He pauses, his fingers hooking under the waistband. “For so long.” He finishes, his lips finding yours again. “So fucking long.” 
“B-Ben,” You’re stumbling around your words, and yet your mind has never felt more clear, more free. “Need you, please.” It’s a beg, a whine. 
His lips part from yours for just a second to pull your shorts and panties down. “Always needed you,” He says as his right hand drifts slowly down your stomach and in between your thighs. He spreads your legs and finds your clit before two of his fingers move further down. “So wet for me,” He says in between the gasps that echoed in the air. 
“B-Ben,” You whimper, suddenly remembering once again that you quite literally have never had anyone this close before. “I-I’ve nev-,”
“I know,” He whispers, his voice filled with lust, even deeper than normal. His dark hair falls against your forehead. “I’ve got you.” His fingers move back to your clit, circling slowly at first, gradually getting faster until all you can do is dig your nails into his shoulders. 
“F-fuck,” You curse. He presses harder against your core. “Need you, Ben,” You beg, all breathy and carelessly loud. 
Ben rests his forehead against yours, his fingers flicking at your clit, his other hand coming up and under your tank top. You have no bra underneath, something he couldn’t help noticing before. He gently rolls a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, reveling in the way you feel against him. 
He wanted you, needed you, just as much as you wanted and needed him. 
His palm glides across your chest, making sure to do the same to the other side before swiftly pulling your top up and over your head, discarding it somewhere on the floor. You don’t care if it lands in the fire. You wanted it to burn. 
“Doing so good for me,” He whispers, his lips sucking against your neck now. “Such a good girl.” 
You feel yourself clench around nothing, fluttering as Ben’s fingers refuse to let up. “I’m s-so close,” You choke, struggling to catch your breath. You could feel that familiar feeling building up in your stomach, heat spreading like a wildfire across your skin and every inch of your body. “Ben,” You recklessly call out. “I’m gonna-,”
“That’s it,” He coos, his fingers still working at your core. “Come on my fingers.” And just like that, white heat, stars, the cliché tension snapping, all of it was true. With him, that’s exactly what it felt like. 
He doesn’t stop right away, his fingers slowing down a bit before dipping down to your entrance, collecting your slick bringing them up to his lips. His fingers disappear into his mouth, sucking gently before he pulls them out. The feeling at your core immediately sparks again. You want more, need more. 
“Ben!” Your heart pangs in your chest at the shout of a familiar voice. FUCK. “Ben!” The voice yells again, outside the tent. Your eyes widen in fear. Panic fills your chest, and Ben springs up and out of the cot, hoping to get outside the tent before the voice found its way inside. 
Ben smiles at you as he stands at the entrance of the tent. You smile back, but you’re freaking out on the inside. What if Luke hadn’t called Ben’s name? What would’ve happened if he had simply come in and caught you? Ben can tell that you’re uneasy by the way your nose scrunches up, eyebrows furrowed tightly. And yet, you don’t regret a thing. How could you? 
“It’s okay, don’t worry,” He whispers, grabbing the cloth door to the tent with his hand. “We’ll figure it out…” He trails off, looking towards the door for a second before his gaze finds yours again. “I’d do anything for you, I mean it.” His words are so final, so permanent, the exact thing you had been afraid of. 
But not anymore. 
“I know I love you.” The words fall from your mouth with ease this time. You can hear Master Skywalker’s footsteps growing closer to the tent.
Ben smiles, his cheeks flushing just a touch, like someone had pinched his cheeks ever-so-slightly to remind him of how handsome he was. “I know I love you,” He says back before squeezing out of the tent so his uncle wouldn’t see the evidence of creed that had been broken and the attachment that had been consummated.
What the fuck were you going to do?
Depollute me, gentle angel
And I'll feel the sickness less and less
Come and kiss me, pretty baby
Like we'll never have sex
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sweetrevxnge · 1 year
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Ghosts In The Snow
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Chapter One
Pairing: Vampire!Kylo Ren x Reader AU
Summary: Six long years had passed under the reign of the First Order. The bitter winters grew longer, and as they did, hope faded from the hearts of the citizens of Hosnian Prime. As a lieutenant in the Resistance cavalry, it was your duty to nurture that ember of hope. After a mission takes an unexpected turn, you are taken prisoner by a commander in the First Order, a mysterious man with an insatiable appetite—for violence, power, and you. In the coming days, you must keep the spark of your own hope alive from the dark confines of the Commander's castle.
Warnings: sexual content, violence, blood kink, gore, mentions/descriptions of injury and death
*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!
Chapter II
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Word count: 2.5k
A/N: Happy Halloween!!! I wanted to share the first chapter of the medieval/vampire AU fic that I've been working on for the past few months. Basically, I rewatched Game of Thrones and Castlevania and set out to write a Kylo Ren AU related to both. And what better time to start uploading it than Halloween!! My primary focus is still finishing Like Phantoms, Forever, but my goal is to continue working on and uploading this story as well. Let me know what you think of it!
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Icy wind burned your eyes as you rode under the moonless sky. Sparse trees passed by as your steed marched along the dark path, treading through the thick blanket of snow that covered the forest floor. Around you, delicate snowflakes floated down from the heavens, catching on the limbs of towering pines and landing on your cheeks, only to melt on your warm skin.
There was something hauntingly beautiful about this weather, with storm clouds draping the inky sky like a wool cloak, snuffing out the cool light of the moon and her stars. In the winter, nights like these were familiar. But not tonight.
This night was bitterly cold, the type of cold that even the thickest furs couldn’t warm. Now, after hours of trekking through the forest, you resented Commander Dameron’s decision for the squadron to not wear helmets. In theory, it seemed like the best way to increase visibility in the midnight hour. But now, with chattering teeth and a visibility of less than a few meters, you were less than pleased.
Commander Dameron had left his helmet behind at the base as well. Although, it was less of a rare occurrence for him. He seldom wore a full suit of armor, which under any other circumstance could be attributed to a plethora of reasons. Pride, confidence, or his incessant need to make his enemy aware that he was being slain by a more handsome man than he. Regardless of his reasoning, you didn’t outwardly oppose the Commander’s decision. If there was one thing you had learned during your time in the Resistance, it was to never question your commander, even over something as frivolous as a helmet. His orders came directly from the General, which meant regardless of your opinion on the matter, his discretion was final. General Organa was a pragmatic woman, and after six years of serving her, she had yet to lead you astray. You expected that tonight would be no different.
Covert operations were nothing new to you, having taken part in over a dozen successful missions before. Even when things became precarious, you were able to keep your wits about you and get your men out in one piece. It was for this reason that the General trusted you with the most sensitive missions, like tonight’s.
As you neared the location of the reported First Order encampment, trepidation rolled through your stomach. There was something uncomfortable about these woods, more than the typical unease of marching into the unknown, or the prospect of losing your men in a bloodbath. The forest felt suffocating, as if you were being swallowed by the trees the further you rode. Perhaps it was the moonless sky causing your skin to crawl, or the eerie silence that surrounded you.
In front of you, Commander Dameron was barely visible through the heavy snowfall, and further away than you would have liked him to be. But then again, that was how he typically operated.
His daring attitude and hunger for battle were just a few of your favorite qualities of his, with his striking good looks and razor-sharp wit following closely behind. He was a natural leader, often utilizing every quality in his arsenal to earn cooperation from his soldiers, including yourself.
The two of you worked well together, sharing a chemistry both in leadership and out in the field. Thanks to his effortless charisma and affinity for your presence, you had been his loyal right-hand for many years. The General could always rely on your squadron to extract the intelligence she needed, or defeat any amount of stormtroopers that impeded her cause.
For six long years, the sovereign state of Hosnian Prime had been plagued by war, its people forced to bend the knee to the usurper First Order or lose their head. While many citizens chose to submit their will, there were those who refused to comply, who sacrificed everything for liberty. The Resistance was born from their bravery, their determination to fight for what was just. It was their emblem that you wore proudly on your armor, the same emblem that inspired hope in the downtrodden and oppressed throughout the world.
The moment Vice Chancellor Snoke flaunted the severed head of Chancellor Villecham to the people of Republic City, you knew that fighting this war was your only option if you wanted to save your home. The carnage that ensued in the city square was nothing short of pure evil and to this day, despite the brutality you had since witnessed and partaken in, still made your stomach churn. In the days that followed, Snoke led vicious attacks on the remaining New Republic officials, with word of his violence reaching you and the other fugitives not long after. The destruction of Hosnian Prime’s liberty was the catalyst for your enlistment in the Resistance, and remained as the motivation to end this civil war.
You tried not to dwell much on that horrific day, but it was difficult to avoid on long rides like this, finding that your mind would often drift there when you were riding towards an imminent battle. The tight secrecy of this operation was unsettling, but what little information you did know was repeating ceaselessly in your head.
The purpose of this mission was to ambush a suspected First Order camp, one that was said to be housing a handful of its leading officers. By all accounts, it was meant to be a fairly typical intelligence extraction and execution, except there would be no execution, as the General had placed a strict defense-only order on this mission, meaning you were not to strike an attack unless it was a defensive measure. Such an order left much to be answered, but from what you knew of war, it likely meant that General Organa couldn’t afford to lose the men. It also meant that whichever First Order officials were residing at this camp were not vital to its operation, for if they were, the next sunrise they would see would be from the top of wooden spikes.
The General’s briefing was not unlike many of her others. It was short and eloquent as always, but by the end of it, she was practically ordering the group out of the room, rather than her usual dismissal of telling everyone to get back to work. You, along with every other person involved in this operation, were left confused by her behavior, left to your imagination to fill in the gaps. It wasn’t long before gossip began to spread throughout the unit.
A misstep from your horse pulled you back to the present, prompting you to soothe her fright before she could make too much noise. It was imperative to the success of this ambush that none of your men—or their horses—made a sound.
After a few strokes down her spine and quiet, reassuring whispers, her pace steadied. You looked ahead for the signal from Commander Dameron that you were approaching the encampment, but in the hazy clearing, his presence had been reduced to a set of tracks left into the snow.
The festering dread in your gut became unbearable as you continued to trudge through the dark foliage, debating whether or not it would be appropriate to catch up to Commander Dameron and share your concerns. You could only imagine the lecture you would receive from the General if you strayed from the plan in any manner, but at the same time, you trusted your instinct. Something didn’t feel right.
The crunch of snow beneath hooves and the light rattle of armor were the only sounds that filled the air. That was until a scream pierced the night air, sending a chill colder than the snow down your spine.
Panic rose in your chest as your horse reared off the ground and spun wildly, frightened beyond your control. You tried to orient yourself in the darkness, scanning the white haze for your men, as well as your commander.
Another scream followed shortly after, along with a string of cries from the soldier’s horse. One final wail sliced through the air like a banshee cry, full of agony, before the world fell silent.
There was someone else—or something else—in these woods.
The soldiers behind you erupted in a cacophony of confusion, worry, and pleas to the gods for mercy. You steered your horse away from them, more concerned with Commander Dameron’s safety than theirs. As terrible as it seemed, soldiers were expendable, leadership was not. Besides, if you fell back to help them, your fate would be the same as theirs—bloody and mangled.
More anguished cries rang throughout the dark woods, following you as you rushed forward, whipping the reins to keep your pace.
“Commander? Commander?!” you shouted into the abyss of the night. You uttered a quiet prayer as you waited for his response.
The whisper of wind was all you received in return.
“COMMANDER!” you screamed, your throat burning from the wintry air as you cried out.
Nothing.
With bleary eyes, you continued to ride, dodging the brush and rogue branches hanging in your path. It was then that a horrible realization occurred to you. Aside from the sound of your shallow breaths and hooves stomping, the forest was utterly silent.
Your panic quickly transformed into terror. The sounds of slaughter that had been trailing you had ceased. Whatever had been hunting your men could now only be hunting you.
There was no time to waste. Adrenaline rushed through your veins as you unlatched your boots from the saddle and prepared to dismount your horse, hoping to be a smaller target on foot.
Before you could swing your leg over the saddle to jump down, an invisible blow struck the center of your chest, hurling you backwards through the air until you collided with the rough bark of a tall pine.
Bright spots filled your vision as you hit the frozen ground, gasping for air despite the ache spreading through your ribs. A high pitch rang in your ears as you pushed yourself up and staggered to your feet. The snow beneath you was stained red, and from the taste of copper in your mouth and the tender sore on your tongue, it was clear that you had bitten it during the fall.
Away from your sight, your horse neighed and reared wildly, galloping over the roots buried beneath the snow and snapping dry branches that covered her path. For a moment, you hoped that she was running towards you, that her senses would guide her back to you. But you were a fool. 
The sound of ripping flesh and a final, harrowing cry from your horse resonated through the woods, followed by a heavy thud and a deafening silence.
You blinked the falling snowflakes away from your eyes as you stood there, rooted in the snow, trying to see which direction the midnight creature would attack from. Your heart was a few beats away from bursting through your chest, which would likely be a less painful death than what was to come.
The outline of a figure breached the snowfall, stalking towards you as you retreated on your heels, fueled by the adrenaline coursing through you.
As you reached for your sword, your limbs were frozen in place, as if your body had been wrapped in nonexistent restraints. Your breath caught in your throat. Resisting the energy proved futile, tiring your muscles and leaving you entirely defenseless. You watched in horror as the creature came into view.
“Was that you I heard calling for me, my dear?”
You could barely hear the question over the hammering of your pulse. The voice was low and brassy, and almost sounded amused. As it drew closer, you were surprised to find that the owner was not a bloodthirsty monster, but a man.
You lifted your chin and blinked back the tears that welled in your eyes, hoping to appear brave in the face of death.
“You certainly were difficult to catch,” he growled, stepping through the haze. “But the difficult ones always make for the best hunt.”
The man stepped into view, his dark armor a stark contrast to the backdrop of snowfall. In the drops of moonlight that spilled through the clouds, you could make out the details of his helmet—a haunting, black mask with silver ridges outlining the eye shield, gleaming in the waning light.
“What are you doing all the way up here, officer?” he asked, tilting his head slightly as he raised a gloved hand to your face, his outstretched fingers nearly grazing your skin.
“I–” you began to say before you choked on your words. An excruciating pain split your skull, unlike anything you had experienced before. The sensation could only be compared to something found in nightmares, crafted in the fires of Hell for the most unabashed sinners. The tears you had fought to hold back finally spilled from your eyes, freezing as they rolled down your cheeks while the masked man rummaged through your mind.
“You’re a lieutenant,” he said quietly, his intrigue evident even through his helmet.
You didn’t try to deny his statement, all too aware that your rank was the only thing keeping you from suffering the same fate as the rest of your men.
“A woman as second-in-command…” He traced the back of his hand along your jaw, the smooth leather interrupting the stream of tears that ran from your eyes.
Slowly, he moved behind you, examining you how a butcher would inspect a lamb before the slaughter. Through the shield of his mask, you could feel his eyes roaming over you. 
Acid bubbled in your throat as you stood there, helpless to the force that held you in place. The fate of your men seemed like salvation in comparison to what was likely awaiting you.
Would he take you prisoner? Would he violate you? How long would you suffer before succumbing to your inevitable fate?
Each thought piled onto the other as they raced through your head. You were grateful that he had released his grip on your mind, that your fears were known only to you.
Behind him, a handful of other men emerged from the night, standing in a tight formation behind their leader. The other parties responsible for the massacre of your men, you presumed.
“Sir, we were unable to locate the Commander,” one of the men informed him.
He moved closer behind you, pieces of his armor grazing yours. “Forget him. We have what we need.”
Before you could process his words, the energy around your limbs disappeared and you swayed, suddenly dizzy, like you had indulged in one too many glasses of wine. The edges of your vision blurred and despite wanting to kick your attacker and run as far as you could, your legs wouldn’t budge. The last thing you felt before darkness rushed in was a pair of strong arms wrapping around you as your body went slack, sealing your fate.
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juniperwoodwell · 11 months
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How ADCU characters would react to a s/o, who admits she's Insecure about her body.
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Parings: Adam Sackler x F! Reader, Flip Zimmerman x F! Reader, Phillip Altman x F! Reader, Kylo Ren x F! Reader.
Warning(s): Cursing, 18+ content, Groping, Innuendos.
Word count: 2k
A/n: Sadly I've been feeling a bit down about myself and decided to write about the boy's, honestly I hope reading this helps you as much as it did for me. Enjoy ❤️
Oh, also. The photos were edited by me, I found them all on Pinterest.
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Adam Sackler
He wasn't too surprised by the confession when you told him one night; he could tell by how shy you were when you started dating and began trying things out in the bedroom.
He didn't know how to bring it up or console you properly; usually, he'd immediately change the subject when you felt insecure about something. To you, it came off as him being uncaring about your insecurities, but one night you decided to bring it up.
"Hey, Adam.." You said quietly; your back was to him as you lay in his bed.
The question ran through your mind, keeping you awake. His arm wrapped around your front and pulled you against him,
"Yeah, Kid?" his voice was groggy from sleep.
"Why do you always change the subject when you notice me becoming insecure about something?"
 "You seriously want to talk about this now?" He groaned and nuzzled his face into your neck, but you sighed and slipped out of his grasp, sitting on the bed and crossing your legs.
"Yes. It's bugging me, and If I don't know the answer, I won't sleep."
 Another groan escaped his lips, missing your warmth as he sat up, leaning against the wall.
The warm lights from the window illuminated his skin with a golden glow; you sighed and picked at your nails.
 Adam grabbed your hand and quickly pulled you into his lap, tucking his head into your shoulder. His hands slid from your naked thighs to your hips, slipping under your (His) sleep shirt. Your breath hitched when his hands touched your stomach, and you immediately grabbed his wrists.
"Adam...Please don't."
"Why not? Why are you so ashamed of this?" He squeezed your sides for emphasis.
"I-I...I don't know. Maybe it's because, in high school, I desperately tried to be the hot skinny girl?" You joked,
"Really?" Adam asked, obviously not catching on.
"No, Not really. I...I guess it's just because I'm putting so much effort into losing weight, then not seeing any progress. It's always been this way. I either can't gain any weight or lose it. I used to get upset when I got stretch marks on my thighs or when my sides got pudgy."
Adam removed his hands from under your shirt, taking both of yours so he could interlace your fingers. He kissed your shoulder. "That's stupid."
 "Adam...Don't put down my insecurities."
"Why not? They deserve it. They're useless and only make you doubt yourself. I say screw it. Stop caring about how much you hate or dislike your thighs or belly. You're beautiful not by just how you look but by your personality. Though your appearance definitely adds to it."
"How can you say that?" You asked, closing your eyes as he continued to kiss the exposed skin of your neck and shoulders.
"Because I fucking love your body. I love how thick your thighs are, especially when they're trying to crush my head like a watermelon. I love how squishy your belly and sides are. It gives me something to hold onto when I'm railing you into the mattress. Oh, and don't get me started on your ass because I know you're insecure about that too. It's my favorite pillow. Knocks me right out."
His words were accompanied by a squeeze or poke to each part he mentioned. Making sure you knew just how much he loved the things you were insecure about. He realized the subject-changing method wasn't working, so he decided on a more... Physical  approach.
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Flip Zimmerman
Flip's reaction was similar to Adams, but he couldn't wrap his head around how such a beautiful, intelligent, and talented woman could be insecure about herself. He wasn't sure how to console you, but he was determined to learn how.
He started by asking questions about your insecurities, always confused by the why and how. It irritated him to know that someone made you feel  this way about yourself. No...Not irritated. It pissed him off beyond belief, but he would never let you know that.
One night, he takes the situation into his own hands, quite literally. You two were preparing to go to the park's fall cookout park.
You stood in front of the mirror trying to fix your dress, you hated wearing them, but you thought you'd try the pretty housewife look. Biting your lip, you flopped your hands to your side, giving up.
"Hey, Stop that." Flip's low voice startled you out of your self-criticizing thoughts.
 "S-stop what, Hun?" You asked, Turning to look at him as he finished buttoning up that lovely red flannel you asked him to wear.
"That whole nitpicking thing you do when you try on new clothing. You look gorgeous in that dress. -actually, you look gorgeous in anything you wear...or don't wear" He smirked, his eyes gleaming mischievously as he walked over to you, taking your hand and turning you to face the mirror again.
He wrapped his arms around your middle and put his chin on top of your head, that smirk growing into a smile as he watched the blush blossom on your cheek.
"You tease" Your voice was small; He always managed to distract you from your negative thoughts
"My pretty little Wife." He moved his head to kiss your cheek. "If you don't like the dress, I can always rip it off your pretty little body and show you just how beautiful you are with and without it."
"Oh shush, we don't have time, Flip."
"Like they're gonna care if we're late,"
 You scoffed. "Late? Honey, With you...We'd miss the whole event"
 You rolled your eyes, seeing Flip smirk in the mirror.
"That wouldn't be so bad?" His hands slid down the sides of your dress, he pulled the skirt up, but your hands grasped his wrist before he could get too far.
"Yes. Yes, it would, Zimmerman." You smiled, meeting his eyes in the reflection.
"If we stayed home, I could show you all the ways to love your body." Your head turned to meet his gaze, that mischevous glint now replaced by a low gaze and lust-blow pupils. You patted his chest,
"As much as I'd love that...And really, I would. I promised the guys at the station I'd bring those cookies you all like."
Flip groaned and kissed your head. "You or those delicious cookies...Toughest decision of my life." Together you laughed, and you pulled away.
 Swaying your hips as you left the bedroom, knowing he'd be watching and following after.
"It better be me, Honey."
 A new wave of confidence found its way into your heart and mind.
"Always, sweetheart."
If Flip could love your body so damn much, So could you.
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Phillip Altman
Philips's reaction was very childish, as were most of his reactions to things you tell him. He mostly laughed in disbelief. But he settled down when you put your hands on your hips and bit your lip.
"Holy shit, You're serious." His eyes were wide.
 As I said. Disbelief.
 "Yeah, Pal. Why wouldn't I be?"
"I-I don't know? You always seem so confident in the stuff you wear; you're like the queen of confidence. It radiates off you like the fucking sun. It shows in the way you walk and the way you talk."
You shook your head. "It's not really confidence, Phillip. I just like the clothing I wear."
"Liar, You know you're hot. You have no reason to be insecure. People should be insecure because of you and all your..." he moved his hands around the air, "Hotness."
 "Hotness?"
 "Yeah. You're fucking hot." You rolled your eyes;
 Phillip sighed as he stepped close to you. His hands ghosted up your arms, not touching but close enough to feel the heat. His hands cupped your face and squished your cheeks as he kissed you; he pulled away and gently shook your face
"And you better fucking believe it. Okay? Because If you don't, I'm gonna keep doing this until you do."
He smiled and kissed you again and again, Only stopping when your fingers wrapped around his wrists. "You believe me yet? Little punk?"
You smirked and shook your head, "Nah...I don't think this method is working."
"Oh? Then what will? Huh?  How about this?"
Philip let go of your face and fell to his knees. He stared up into your eyes like a love-sick puppy.
"Oh fuck...Phillip...Get. Up." You laughed;
 He shook his head as his hands grabbed the backs of your thighs, squeezing and kneading them through your jeans.
"Phillip," You groaned; you loved his hands, how big and warm they always felt. He knew it, too.
"Hmm?"
"Stop it." You grabbed a fistful of his hair before he could shove his head between your thighs; he groaned loudly at the feeling.
 "SHit- Do that again." You smirked at his request, tugging his hair again.
"You mean this?" He shut his eyes, groaning again.
 "Yess...Your hands are so fucking addictive." He opened his eyes, meeting your own. "You're so pretty from this angle, baby. If I could, I'd be on my knees for you forever."
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Kylo Ren
Kylo was angry when you told him, not at you but at your reasoning behind it. He was furious that a man you put your trust and love in constantly put down your body or called you things that made you feel less than you were.
He was determined to show you just how wrong that bastard was.
He had you pinned against the wall of his bedroom, his lips on your neck, and your arms were held above you by the force while his hands roamed your body,
"If I ever hear you putting yourself down again, I will fuck you senseless until you only believe the words I say." You moaned softly at his words; his hands took the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head; then he unclipped your pretty black bra, sliding the straps off, and watched as it fell to the floor before he lifted his eyes back to yours.
"Do you understand?" You nodded; Kylo gripped your chin firmly, asking the question again.
"Do. You. Understand?"
"Y-Yes, Sir."
Pleased with your response, he let go of your face and took one of your breasts in his grasp; he smirked at you before he leaned down, taking it into his warm mouth, licking and sucking sweetly, eliciting loud, shaky moans from you. He let it fall from his lips with a soft pop. He lifted his head and kissed you deeply, dominating you with his tongue. His hands groped your chest, and he rolled your nipples between his forefingers and thumbs, drinking your moans and whimpers.
 He pulled away from the kiss, releasing your wrists from the force; they draped tiredly over his shoulders. His hands left your breasts, sliding down over your stomach, finding their places on your hips.
"I wish you could love yourself as much as I do." He kissed you, squeezing your hips as he lifted you, you wrapped your legs around his waist, and he carried you to the bed, kissing your neck as he laid you down; his kisses trailed down from there.
When he reached your belly, he smiled up at you, his fingers dipping into the waistband of your pants.
"Guess I will just have to teach you how."
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helpinghanikan · 6 months
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Star Wars: Kinktober 2023
Day 8: Marking (Kylo Ren)
Kinktober Masterlist
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No one knows about what lies under all that black and brooding. Not even the supreme leader or the knights of Ren knew about the bite marks. That knowledge was only for two people to share; the one who got the bites and the one who gave them.
“It’s cold,” Kylo will mumble when he gets into bed.
He wasn’t wrong. It was a generally accepted fact that space was cold, no matter what ship you were on. Considering he wore head-to-toe covering every day it shouldn’t be surprising that Kylo felt a never-ending chill run through him. Sometimes it seemed that the only way to help was to get as close as possible. Hold him as tightly as you can and sink your teeth into the thick muscular neck and back.
It’s times like these, when you’re supposed to be sleeping, that you get the chance to really touch him. When he’s stripped bare before you and it’s not Kylo Ren that you are laying down with. He was just your man, and your man needed to be fucked.
“Come closer,” You practically beg against his mouth. Gently rolling back and forth on his cock, holding the back of his neck as though he might escape.
Your nails dig into his neck, scratching just enough to leave the impression of a scar. He doesn’t notice you doing this. He’s too busy feeling your lips leave his mouth, travel to his jaw, and suck at his neck with almost desperation.
Kylo never talked much while you had sex. He makes plenty of noise to make up for it. Smacking of strong thighs pumping upwards. His Groans from so deep in his chest that they could only be considered animalistic. His eyes, when you can see them, are half closed from how drunk on love he was.
“You taste so sweet,” you praise him, sucking to be sure your mark stays prominent.
He's trying to control himself from throwing you off and taking complete control. Being the apprentice to the dark side taught him a balance of power and submission. As the apprentice, he doesn’t have the right to force anyone to their knees just yet.
You weren’t an apprentice of the dark side, however. You were simply a woman he could take an order from.
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orangevtae · 2 years
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Follow Trough | Kylo Ren
Summary: You were Ben Solo's partner since before he turned to the dark side and changed his name to Kylo Ren, you met during Luke's Jedi training. Scaping the planet alongside with Rey, Poe, Fin and the Resistance while Luke distracted Kylo long enough so you guys could escape, you, Kylo and Rey end up making a bridge trough the Force connection and he discovers that you're carring his child on your womb.
Warnings/Additional tags: afab!reader, use of she/her pronouns, angst like really angst, romance and a little bit of fluff (it's more on memories though), conflictual feelings, Rey's a sweetheart, hurt and comfort.
Pairings: Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader, Rey Skywalker/Palpatine x Reader (platonic)
A/N: I was making a Star Wars marathon and while watching the final scenes of The Last Jedi, i thought of that for some reason
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"Leia, let me help you" you offered to Leia, holding out your hand to help her walk on the Millenium Falcon
"My Darling, we both know that i'm not the one who needs help" she laughed, eyes scanning over your growing belly "But i appreciate it either way"
You smiled at her, her right hand tapped your left cheek softly and up she went to the ship. You stayed behind with Rey to make sure that all of the survivors of the Resistance got inside safetly, hand carressing your belly.
You were at least 5 months long or so, you were pretty sure that you were almost 6, you lost count when all the attacks ordered by The First Order surrounded you. You sighed remembering that that meant that it was really that long since...you last saw your husband, your last encounter with Kylo Ren, it was really that long ago, even if you and him had a connection bridge trough the force way before you started to admit to have feelings for him back on the Jedi training time with Luke Skywalker, you refused to let the connection happen for the sake of your unborn baby.
You had no idea of what Kylo Ren would be able to do of he discovered that you were pregnant with his child, you always got worriedly sick thinking of it, so you did the best you could to hide the pregnancy from him, using the Force to make a fog up on the tracks of your baby, you still remember the last time you had one of your encounters, way before Rey appeared, way before things with The First Order angainst the Resistance got thicker in tension because of the back of the Jedi.
"Y/N/N? Hey, keep your mind back here" you looked up blinking rapidly, Ben's broad form in front of you, you squinted your eyes looking up at him and shielding your eyes from the burning sun light with your hands "Here you are darling everything's ok? You dissociated a moment back there"
He told you worriedly, face full of concern looking down at you, hand carressing yours softly. You were in a planet that The First Order couldn't reach you and Be- Kylo Ren on your monthly encounters, you were actually pretty tired of only being able to see him one time a month and even if you always were happy to see your husband, it wasn't the same since he turned to the dark side few years ago, you took well the first times, overjoyed to be with him for two or three days before you would part ways yet again, it was hard, hard loving him the way things how they were now, but you could handle it, right? You always thought that you could, but for two months now, you started to fear your encounters.
Kylo always tried to get you to join him on the dark side, so far deep on his fed hatred by Snoke even if you could see a little disturbence on him and the last bit of light while you always tried to bring him back home, for the sake of Leia and Han, and for the sake of the unborn baby you discovered to be carrying some weeks ago. The unborn little one would need their father present, but you couldn't let it happen while he was on the dark side, that would be the last time you would see him, it broke your heart, but you knew it was for the best.
"Yes, i'm sorry honey, i'm just tired, need some rest that's all" you smiled at him while seating down, pushing him lightly to be with you "Come lay with me"
Without a single resistance, he got rid of his gloves, shoes and cape and layed down on the little made up bed you had separated for your monthly encounters. He pushed you by the waist, your arms circling his neck, head on his chest and his cheek on the top of your head, hands softly carressing your hair.
It still pained you to remember the day you left without saying goodbye to him, you had be gone way before he woke up, ending your connection with him trough the force and hiding your baby whenever he would try to connect with you again, it was hard the first months but you soon got too busy helping Leia, the Resistance and focusing on your growing baby that everything with Kylo turned tolerable, not easy cause you could never get rid of how much you missed him.
"Y/N/N, everyone's already inside the ship, we should go" Rey's voice brought you back to the present, a soft smile on her lips as she extended her hand for you to hold "Let me help you"
"You such a sweet Rey, thank you, let's get out of this ice cube" you smiled at her and took her hand, her free hand going to your back as she helped you up and inside, worried gaze traveling from your face to your growing belly
"You have already thought of a name?" she asked, mentioned to your belly "Any ideas?"
"I have a few, but there's one that it would suit her well" you smiled as you looked at her, already inside the ship, hands carressing it softly
"Her? You think it's a girl?"
"Something just tell that it's a girl, can you feel it?"
You asked her excitedly, she closed her eyes and took a short while till her lips started to form a big smile, hands instantly on your stomach "I can feel her"
"Her?" You heard a well known voice and before you could have a reaction, you and Rey felt a pull made by the force, your hands turned sweaty as you and Rey turned to look outside of the ship, there stood, even if it was only a projection, Kylo Ren. You knew that he and Rey had some sort of connection by the force just like you and him but you had blocked him months back and as you were watching him and Rey go back and forth about how he had murdered Han, his own father, you felt a kick against your belly, a hand fastly over it and all the power you were using to hide your baby presence from him vanished from the surprise kick.
Kylo Ren never turned so fastly in his entire life, even during his little rage bickering back and forth with the Rey girl, his eyes never leaved your frame and when he felt a fourth presence, he frowned and then his eyes doubled in size by seeing your hand carressing your growing belly. It was then that everything downed on him: you were pregnant and he knew that he didn't need to search further to know that you were carrying his child, all this months of you blocking him whenever he tried the connection and you always not having that much time to be with him, you were hiding his child from him.
Kylo Ren always felt a disturbence on the force whenever you and him would connect and he never knew the cause, now he knew it pretty well and something inside of him just shaked by knowing you were expactating his child. You on the other hand were sweating, your hands trembling a little as the wind whispered your clothes and hair around you, you had to end the connection now.
Sensing you uneasyness, Rey quickly sprung to action, made a snark comment directed to him and pressed the button that would close the door.
"Y/N..." Kylo whispered, voice heavy and you could take a fast glance at him to see his eyes to get glossy and then the door closed, the connection ended and you sighed heavily, holding onto Rey that fastly got by your side seeing you getting pale and the Millennium Falcon took off.
When he couldn't no long reach either Rey or you, Kylo was looking back at a wall, he felt frustration tears leave his eyes and rage overtook him as he destroyed the room he was inside. He knew he gave up on a lot of things, did a lot of things for the sake of the dark side, but there was only much he could take, he already was separated from his lovely wife and now he just discovered that you were carrying his child, his unborn baby girl and as he destroyed more things, he thought if he could ever be able to have you in his arms again and if he would ever be able to carry his daughter on his arms.
Kylo Ren did many wrong choices but he never wanted to lost the both of you on the same time as now.
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Valentine's day ficlet fest • 2023 masterlist
Happy February, besties!! Thank you so much to everyone that requested something. In this masterlist you'll find all the ficlets posted throughout the month and this will be pinned on my blog. A lot of the prompts got repeated in some occassions so I've combined some of the asks to end up with these 25 short stories; the titles of some of these may change on the day I'm posting it because I didn't have time write them all ahead of time like I wanted because of the amount of requests that came in! Consider this a little vday gift from me to you as a way of thanking you for the support to my writing. I'm also linking a playlist with the songs that inspired all of these fics, in case everyone is looking for vday songs to get in the mood. Happy valentine's day!!!
FICLETS
"Since I've Been Loving You" • Eddie Munson x reader
"Never Did Believe" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Let Me Taste Your Silhouette" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader *nsfw
"Underneath It All" • Modern!Kylo Ren x reader
"Made A Fire" • Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Working Class" • Aemond Targaryen x reader * nsfw
"You Drive Me Crazy" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader *nsfw
"Slow And Easy" • Eddie Munson x reader *nsfw
"Words Are Very Uneccessary" • Aemond Targaryen x reader *nsfw
"Head Over Heels" • Eddie Munson x reader
"Last Dance" • Eddie Munson x reader
"You Make Loving Fun" • Eddie Munson x reader
"I'll Be Your Song" • Eddie Munson x reader
"Be Mean" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Love On Top" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Enjoy The Silence" • Eddie Munson x reader
"Magic Man" • Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Move me" • Aemond Targaryen x reader
"There is so much a man can tell you" • Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Dinner and Diatribes" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
"If Not For You" • Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Talk Refined" • Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Last Thing I Remember" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Maybe I'm Foolish" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
"Dance For You" • Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
PLAYLIST
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EDGING KYLO
@asnackdriver asked: Please the story from gc.... I NEED IT
YOU GOT IT, BOSS.
rated e, fem-dom!reader, sub!kylo, restraints, edging, come play, crying
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Edging Kylo until he's bitten his lip swollen and raw, eyes watering. He could escape the leather bonds you've used, but he won't. You caress his chest, play with his nipples, spread his thighs with delicate touches. He whines and writhes in the hardback chair as his red cock bobs. His balls are so tight
Even drawing a finger up the shaft has it jerking. He's so desperate and hot. Sweat gathers on him at every crease
If you ask him if he's been good, he'll nod wordlessly. But you know better. He's been secretly jerking off in the shower — even though you told him not to
Grab his jaw, make him look into your eyes, and ask him for the truth. Tears well as he confesses
He's so hungry for you. You're all he thinks about. When he jerked off, he thought of you
With the quirk of an eyebrow from you, he tells you how he's wanted you
He's wanted you with bruises and bites and scratches. He's wanted to fuck hard. However, you know he wants those marks on him, too
He wants you to claim him, make him yours. He'd do anything. Anything
When you wrap a lubed hand around him, he sobs and nods. Call him a desperate little slut. He'll reply he's your slut, only yours
He'll cry and plead for mercy
By the end, he's a blubbering mess
Press against his side, kiss his straining neck, and tell him to come for you. Tell him to come all over his chest
He'll shout in pain as he comes in thick, white spurts. He shakes through it, tears roll down his cheeks
He thanks you over and over, delirious — frenzied rapture
He wants to hide, but you won't let him. You stare into his hazy eyes, and all he can whisper is your name
Run a finger through the slick come on his sweaty chest and offer it to him
His tongue is so hot on your skin. The way he sucks his spend off your finger shoots right to your cunt
When you withdraw your finger, he swallows before asking if he can be good for you now
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bejeweledraven · 1 year
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snow on the beach
and it's like snow at the beach weird but fucking beautiful flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful you wanting me tonight feels impossible
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kylo ren with a s/o
parring: kylo ren x gn!reader 
genre: fluff, slight angst if u squint 
warnings: very brief mention of injuries (no graphic descriptions)
requested?: yes
request: anon: I’d like to see how Kylo Ren would treat his s/o. Do you think he’d be soft to you? Or he just as cold as he fronts? 
song prompt: snow on the beach by taylor swift feat. lana del rey
word count: 767 
(i could definitely work something out for either part 2 or expand it into an actual fic so let me know if it’s something you’d want to see :))
first of all, I think that there would be two sides when it comes to kylo and his s/o
there would be the public side, the one he shows in front of everyone, especially around the first order  
and the one that only very few people, including you, get to see
he definitely works hard to upkeep his tough image, he wants to appear strong and intimidating 
but that takes a great toll on a person, especially one under as much pressure as him 
so only behind closed doors, you can really see how much that weighs on him 
so in public, i feel like he would be very restrained, especially at first 
definitely a lot of stolen glances (mostly on his part, the mask makes it pretty easy, but even with that i think he would sometimes forget people can see him turn his head)
and he would also definitely forget he’s not wearing a mask sometimes and full-on stare, which you would endearing, he would find embarrassing, and hux would find straight-up repulsive (”oh get it together ren” with his classic disgusted hux frown)
the public relationship with kylo is very much based on subtlety, he won't hold your hand, but he will definitely ‘accidentally’ touch your hand on numerous occasions 
he most definitely has a soft spot for you, i think the first one of his love languages you get to know is gifts 
little gestures that mean so much 
a book you were talking about? on your nightstand the next day 
a childhood favorite food you casually mentioned? suddenly available in the dining hall 
and he would never admit to any of it, but you know it was him 
another thing he would never do is admit how happy it makes him,when you appreciate all he does 
admitting his feelings is not his strongest suit 
working through that took some time 
like most things in a relationship with him 
another love language of his is words of affirmation 
but you don't realize it at first (neither does he i feel like)
it takes time for you to see how happy it makes him to hear how much you care about him 
and him saying it back for the first time definitely felt really special 
he admitted how much he cares about you after he almost died, trying to take down of resistance’s bases 
and were really upset with how careless he was 
you were cleaning his wounds in silence, because of course he didn't let anyone else touch him 
you were focused on cleaning a deep cut on his cheekbone, him sitting down and you standing, leaning in 
you felt him shift in his seat uncomfortably when you pressed the gauze against the wound 
“stop moving.” was all you could get out, even though still upset with him  you felt bad hurting him 
 the silence after that didn't last long, this time interrupted by him 
“i'm sorry.” was all he said
“it’s fine, i’ll try to be more gentle”
“that’s not what i meant. i'm sorry that you had to worry about me.” 
it made u stop dead in your tracks, and you lowered your hand from his face, looking at him, unsure of what to say
and although it might have seemed like an odd way to say that he cares about you, you knew how much it mattered 
it was the first time you felt like he was breaking through his cold and guarded attitude like he was letting down his defenses 
for you. 
it was a start for a long and sometimes difficult process of him opening-up
there are definitely moments when it feels like he's going back to his old habits of bottling up and distancing himself from you 
and it's definitely a challenge to find the balance between giving him space and getting him to open up 
it’s hard work for both of you, but it’s so worth it in the end 
i definitely see it as a “you fall first, he falls harder” trope 
his also very protective 
it takes as much as someone looking at you the wrong way 
but god forbid someone actually hurts you 
he will do anything to keep one of the very few good things in his life safe 
overall, i think he still pretty much keeps to himself in public, especially with the first order around 
but behind closed doors, he tries to open up more 
and although it takes time, you can see the change slowly happening 
let’s just say usually a lot of good things happen behind closed doors. 
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eddiesfaerie · 2 years
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ADCU Masterlist
(Adam Driver Character Universe)
most works are NSFW and contain 18+ content, minors do not interact!
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Softer | Part 2 *
Kylo Ren whisks you away to a remote planet to be sweeter with you. He finds it much more difficult than initially planned.
Fructus Tenebris (series) 1. Eripio
You have a bit of a run-in with a hunter in the garden. Gladly, Kylo is around to mediate. 
Pet *
You accompany the Supreme Leader to one of his meetings. Unsurprisingly, you become desperate for attention.
DRABBLES / REQUESTS
Kylo and Sleep
So Pretty Like This *
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Mirrorball * | Part 2 *
Your first time meeting detective Flip Zimmerman is out on the dance floor.
Going Under
You struggle to figure out why Flip Zimmerman wants to help you out.
DRABBLES / REQUESTS
Losing You
Stitches
Flip and Sleep
Gingerbread
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Long Sleeves * | Part 2 *
A two part, chaotic summary of the trials and tribulations of you and Charlie’s blossoming relationship as it’s pushed to its absolute limits.
On Our Way Home
On a late Friday night, you take the subway home with Charlie after spending the day with him at his rehearsals. 
DRABBLES / REQUESTS
Date Night
Stay
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August *
On a humid, late summer afternoon, Clyde makes you a couple of promises. 
Shooting Stars *
Clyde takes you on a drive up the mountain to admire the stars, you see more than you were expecting.
Look At You *
sub!Clyde needs help voicing his needs.
DRABBLES / REQUESTS
Laundry
In The Morning *
More Than Friends
Sick
In The Rain
Snacks
Surprises
Family
Being a Brat *
Horny and Annoyed *
Soft!Dom Clyde *
Tippy Toes
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Midnight Snack
You get hungry at 4am. Sackler makes you something to eat.
DRABBLES / REQUESTS
I See You (nsfw-ish)
Double Date
Kiss It Better
Sackler and Sleep
Types of Kisses
Morning Sex *
Caught *
Nasty But Sweet *
Confessions *
Sleepy (nsfw-ish)
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DRABBLES / REQUESTS
Sunshine
Home
Bent *
Blowing Bubbles *
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DRABBLES / REQUESTS
At Gas Stations
Brat *
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Kylo Ren x plus size reader
The Supreme Leader had granted his padawan one vice, one thing he could take pleasure from, one thing that was only his. He could have picked spice or hooch, but the troubled Sith chose her.
Series Warnings: reader was kidnapped and manipulated into being a pleasure slave, tagged dub con to be safe, little bit of non con, smut, d/s dynamics, angst, fluff, blood, each chapter has their own warnings as well
WC: 13k
Minors DNI
‧₊˚His Pick‧₊˚
‧₊˚His First Hit‧₊˚
‧₊˚His High‧₊˚
‧₊˚His Addiction‧₊˚
‧₊˚His Weakness‧₊˚
‧₊˚His Greatest Strength‧₊˚
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write-and-wander · 3 months
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Touch: Chapter 7
Pairing:  Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader
Warnings:  Swearing, angst, and a new version of the sequels
Word count:  7.6K
Author’s note: Everything comes down to this- the final chapter :)
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(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)
Chapter 7: Journey's End
He’s searching for someone.  Who?  He’s not quite sure anymore.  A Kenobi not yet brought to the dark side, now running loose, should be his enemy.  Another target to hunt down before the resistance gains another leg up.  A companion gifted to him by the force, however- someone who needs him just as much as he needs her- that’s something entirely different altogether.  If he is meant to rule the galaxy with her by his side, then he now has no way of protecting her.  What if they find her first?  What if she strays from her purpose- from our purpose?
He knows that if you were to turn against him, you could very well be his downfall.  What if I don’t have the strength to stop her?
He paces the room, his mind racing through multitudes of possibilities and their solutions.  The tablet still sits open on the table, the red indicator for the missing ship’s tracker still lying to him.  You are gone.  And he has no way of finding you.  Unless…
The force has brought us together before, he thinks, focusing on you; on the shift in the atmosphere- in the force itself- when you were present.  He calls out to the force.
And it answers him.
As if rounding a corner, you walk in, your name immediately tumbling from his lips.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
You’re walking- almost jogging- through the resistance base, discerning faces and scanning over heads in the search for Poe.  Come on, come on, where is he?  You pull a couple of different people aside, asking them if they’ve seen Dameron, only to be met with shrugs and wild guesses.  You start to make your way out of the main rooms and begin to weave through hallways, praying to the force that you don’t get yourself lost in the maze of the bustling base.  You come to a fork and stop for a moment before you feel the force pulling you to the left.  Rounding the corner, you stop dead in your tracks at the sound of your name and the sight of your abandoned Commander.
“Where are you?” He asks right away, his voice gentle.
Why would the force do this now, of all times?  “I need to go,” you say curtly.  You try to move past him, but he steps over, blocking your way.
“You were so close,” he says low, his brown eyes boring into yours.
You pause and take a breath to speak, but you can’t seem to find anything to say.
“Please, come back to me,” he pleads, his voice breaking, “I feel so lost.”
You shake your head, taking a step back.  He closes the gap, his face just inches from yours.
“Come home,” he whispers, bringing his arms up to your sides.  He lowers his eyes to level with yours and moves to grab your shoulders.
Just before his hands touch you, the man right in front of your face snaps to Poe Dameron, whose hands are now holding your shoulders.
“Hey, you!” he greets with a smile.
You jump, breathing hard.
“Woah, woah, hey-” his voice drops as he immediately switches gears, “you okay, Kenobi?”
Relaxing into his grasp, you let his strong arms keep you steady as you collect yourself.
“Yeah, yeah-”
“Deep breaths,” he interjects.
You nod, swallowing hard.  “I need you to come with me to Coruscant.”
“Just me?”
You nod again.
“Why?”
“I have something you need.”  You watch excitement grow in his face as he nods, taking your hand.
“Well, then, what are we waiting for?”
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
You land on Coruscant shortly before Poe does, as he had followed you closely on the trip over.  You land further off than you normally would, attempting to divert attention to from your house.
When you walk in, you realize that this time, the house feels stale.  There’s a noticeable layer of dust on the surface- this place hasn’t been so well kept.  Did Vilya just… stop taking care of this place?
Poe lands even further yet, and waits a while to follow you into your home.
“So,” he starts, looking around at your home. “this yours, or?”
“Yeah,” you answer quick, focused on what you came for.  You head straight into your parent’s bedroom and withdraw the wayfinder from its hiding spot for the last time. 
Poe is looking around when you return. You hold it out towards him.  His eyes widen.
“Here.”
“How the hell did you manage to get this from them?” He asks with a grin, taking it from your hands to inspect it.
“I didn’t.”
He freezes, looking up at you.  “Then how do you have it?”  Though his words form a question, his sudden shift to a cold tone frames it more like a statement.
“It’s a long story, Poe.”
“Oh, we’ve got time,” he retorts.  He pockets the wayfinder.
Staring back at him, your expression shifts from nervous to hurt.  Does he not trust me?  I guess I didn’t think about how I would explain this to him.  How do I even begin to explain everything?
“You’re lucky I trust you,” he adds, pulling up a chair to sit and motioning for you to follow suit, “or you wouldn’t still be standing.  Now talk.”
You nod, sitting down in front of him.  You know you can’t blame him for his reaction- any person with half a brain would respond in kind.  You’ve never seen Poe this guarded before though- especially with you- and it’s unsettling, to say the least.  Shaking off your discomfort, you collect yourself.
“Remember how my parents left me a few gifts after they disappeared?”
He nods.
“That was one of them.  But it was different then.  The light in there was green.  It felt different when I carried it.”
“Different how?”
“It wasn’t anything... dark; just the opposite, actually- it was light.  And it promised hope.  And I used it to find Luke.”
“Skywalker?”
You nod.  “Turns out, he changed it so my dad could find him down the line- but when my dad disappeared, he changed it so I could use it.”
“That’s a real convoluted way of leaving an emergency contact,” he quips, relieving some of the tension in the room.
“Wasn’t my idea,” you defend, putting your hands up.
“Fair point…” he affirms with a soft smile.  “So why’d it change?”
“Well, Luke smashed it the second I showed it to him.”
Poe laughs, “right.”
You can’t tell if he was being sarcastic, but you’d rather not try to clarify.  Instead, you continue.  “But I wanted it back.  It was still something my parents gave me, and I thought maybe it was worth a shot.”
“So, what, you built a new one?”
“No, no, I, uh…” You pause, realizing this is going to sound ridiculous.  “I reached out to the force, and it… fixed it.”
Poe stares blankly.
Desperate to move things along so as to not waste anymore time, you give up on trying to explain it.  “It would make more sense if I could show you.”
“Sure,” he says hesitantly, clearly not buying your story, but not in complete disbelief either.
“May I?” you ask softly, lifting your hand to his temple. 
He shoots you a confused look, but when your expression remains completely serious, he finally nods. 
You place your hand on the side of his head and call out to the force.  Please.  Let me show him.  Show him what you showed me...  Show him the wayfinder.
Your memories flash through the front of your mind- holding the wayfinder, hiding it, using it to find Luke, watching it shatter, reaching into the dark side to retrieve it, seeing Exegol, hiding it from Poe, hearing of it on the resistance base, and handing it to Poe.  You drop your hand in your lap, watching Poe’s expression shift from confusion to resolution.
“I’ll be damned,” he murmurs.  “You’re a special one, Kenobi.”  He stands.
“So you’ll get it to Rey?”
“I will.”
“Do you think General Organa will be okay with it?”
“I think she’ll be relieved to know it’s almost over.”
You nod, taking a deep breath in relief.  It’s almost over, you repeat to yourself.
“What’ll you do?”
You stand.  “You’ll need time to get everyone ready and get over to Exegol, right?”
He nods.
“I’m gonna buy you some time.”
His face falls as he mutters your name in disbelief, his head tilting slightly to one side.
“I’ll make sure the Order isn’t on your backs.  And if they are, like I said: I’ll buy you some time.  I’m kind of a big deal over there,” you joke half-heartedly.
He shakes his head.  “Are you sure?” he asks, concern saturating his tone.  He knows better than to try to stop you- not because you couldn’t be convinced otherwise, but because he knows damn well he’d try to pull the same card if he were in your shoes.  That was something the two of you undeniably had in common- the guts it takes to come up with big plans, and the iron will to try no matter how risky. 
“I’m sure,” you answer with a deep breath, “it’s the least I can do.”
He nods, reaching out to shake your hand.  You oblige, before he immediately pulls you into a proper hug.  “Just come back to us, okay?” he whispers.
“Only if you promise to come back too.”  You pull away just enough to look him in the eyes.
Poe lets out a breathy laugh.  “You’ve got a deal.”
With one final squeeze, you both let go.
Poe heads straight to his ship and you watch him take off.
You’re about to jump into your own ship when you pause for a moment.  Though you made a promise, you both knew it wasn’t one you were certain you could keep.  You decide that, just in case you don’t make it back to your new home- to your family- you want to get one last look at the place you grew up in.  Just a few minutes can’t hurt.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
He’s tearing through space in his TIE Whisper, combing through the galaxy using the force- though it isn’t helping as much as he had hoped.  He feels like he’s holding his hands straight out in front of him, reaching into darkness, feeling around blind, hoping that eventually his fingers will graze your shoulder just long enough for him to understand how he can reach you.  She’s close.  I can feel it.
He glances at the navigator and sees a familiar planet marked on the map.  He looks up, almost as if to confirm that this map isn’t lying to him too.  Coruscant is right there.  He thinks back to the tablet- to the tracker installed in his ship that you managed to remove.  He’s hesitant.  Would she really have come here?  Where I could so easily find her?  Is she leading me away from something else?  He debates diverting his path, feeling stuck between going after his latest lead and going after you.  If she is my way forward, he reasons, then I can have both.
Arriving at Coruscant, he sees a ship parked away from your home and lands next to it.  It felt odd to be back at this place- it’s been a while since he last visited.
With your first trip home, he used the tracker in your ship to pinpoint where your house was.  In between your visits home, he would stop by to search through your house, ensuring his own security.  Unfortunately, on one such visit, he ran into a woman dressed as a stormtrooper stocking up some food in your cupboards, her face red and stained with tears.  Even worse, he recognized her; she tried to replace him years ago.  He knew it would only be a matter of time before she turned you away from him, used you against him, or managed to do both.  He was quick to dispose of her.
He leaves his helmet in his ship and walks up to the doorway, in which the door was wide open.  For a moment, he worries that this is a trap, but the thought vanishes the moment he sees you.  You’re alone, humming to yourself as you stand in the center of the main area, looking around the space.  Again, he speaks your name into the silence.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
You jump at the sound of a familiar voice calling to you, whipping around to see Kylo standing in the door.
“I was worried I’d never find you again,” he professes breathily as he rushes towards you, raising his arms to embrace you.
You step back, uncertain of what to say.
He stops while his brows stitch together upward in a pained expression of confusion, arms slowly returning to his sides.
“I don’t need you anymore,” you assert, finally finding your words.  “I found someone to restore my memory.  I just wanna be home now.”
“But you promised…” he trails off.
Your heart breaks as you watch his face.  He looks exhausted.  Desperate.  Lost.  You think of the resistance and the friends counting on you as they prepare for their hardest fight yet.  You think of what Luke had said to you when you first met: ‘You can guide him back.’
“I can’t do this without you,” he adds, his voice hovering just above a whisper.
Taking a deep breath, you nod.  “Okay…  But I won’t go back to the Finalizer-”
“You won’t have to,” he interjects, “I know where to go.  Just come with me.  Please.”  He offers his hand to you.
You take it, your motions stuttering for a moment as a wave of déjà vu hits you- you’ve seen this before too.  Maybe this is how the force reassures me that this is the right way, you wonder, by reminding me of those visions.
As your hands join, you both pause to take in the moment before moving on.  Kylo leads you out of your house and onto his personal ship.  He plugs in a new set of coordinates and takes off.
You’re both silent on the way over.  Kylo is focused on piloting the ship, eager to get wherever it is you’re going as fast as possible.  Meanwhile, you’re thinking about everything that suddenly seems to be happening at once, worried that you’re bound to let someone down.  Before you can worry about it any longer, you seem to arrive at the destination as Kylo lands his ship.
He steps out and offers his hand to help you step down onto the slippery surface of the wreckage, surrounded by raging sea.  The roaring waves seem to you like a physical manifestation of the dark chaos that surrounds this place.  In your mental periphery, whispers tease as your thoughts.  You brush them off, focusing on your footsteps.  One step at a time. Keep moving forward.
Kylo guides you through the wreckage of the destroyed spacecraft, eventually making it to the room in which the wayfinder was kept.  Your heart stops as you watch him pick up a pyramid made of stone and green glass.  There’s another one?  As he picks up the guiding device, admiring it, your heart continues to sink as you realize: not only is our deal over, but now the resistance is in danger.
He turns to you.
“Is that the wayfinder?” you ask, hoping he’ll buy into your clueless act.  Think, you plead with yourself.
He nods.
“So… what did you need me for?”
“We can move forward now- together,” he begins, closing the gap between the two of you.
You pause for a moment, trying to think of something to say, desperate for a course of action.  I can’t convince him to stop.  But I can’t let him have that wayfinder.  Suddenly, it dawns on you.
You hold your hand out in front of you.  “Can I hold it?” you ask, softening your tone as best as you can.
“You won’t be able to use it.  You don’t even understand-”
“I know, but… The Force gives me visions.  Sometimes it shows me the past, sometimes it guides me towards the future.”  You place a hand on his shoulder.  “I want to understand,” you whisper.
He nods, gently placing the object in your hands. 
You take a couple of steps back as you stare down at it.  Visions of Exegol flood your mind again- but this time, darkness grows as lightning erupts from below the surface up into the sky above.  Your eyes widen.  No, focus, you reprimand yourself. You look up at Kylo.  Without another word, you think of Luke and smile.
“What do you see?” He asks as his face begins to light up.
With as much strength as you can muster, you catapult the wayfinder through the massive broken window on your left.
Kylo’s gaze follows the object as it flies into the violent waves outside.  In an instant, curious eyes flip to rage.  He draws his saber.
Without a moment of hesitation, you draw both of your own sabers.
“First, I killed your father,” he growls, his volume rising as he walks around you in a circle, “then, I killed your friend-”
Vilya, you realize in horror, no!
“Don’t make me kill you too,” he yells, his threat echoing against the metallic walls surrounding you.
With a yell, you charge at him, lifting both sabers and bringing them down towards his head.
A clash rings out as his saber crashes into your own, blocking your attack.  Kylo pushes up and to the right, forcing your blades off of his own and bringing them downward.
As he attempts to swipe at your legs, you jump and twist around to swing towards his arm.
He spins out of your blade’s path as you land and jumps off the mass of shrapnel behind him, pushing his blade straight down towards your shoulder.
You roll out of the way and jump up as Kylo swings at you again, meeting his blade with one of yours.  You aim your other saber at his side, but he swings down to catch it with is.
With an angry yell he begins to swing wildly, moving towards you.  You start to walk backwards to maintain distance, catching his blade with one of yours at the end of every swing.
Making your way out of the room, you manage to find an opening and graze his side as you spin your saber around his arm.
He retracts for just a moment- just long enough for you to turn and run.
He chases you outside of the decaying construct, catching the back of your thigh with the tip of his saber. 
With a cry, you reflexively spin around with your blades pointed towards him.  Your foot nearly slips on the soaked metal you stand on, but you manage to catch yourself and use it to slide over to dodge another attack.
Kylo continues to push you backward as he swings at you with increasing speed and ferocity, his anger guiding his every move.  He lifts his saber over his head and forces it downward, meeting both of your sabers crossed over one another in a screaming clash. 
You struggle to keep the red saber away as he pushes down, forcing you onto your knees.
“After everything I did for you,” he spats through gritted teeth, “you destroyed our future.”
Just as your arms are about to give out, the pressure suddenly lifts and Kylo stares out blankly.
He hears his mother’s voice calling out to him. ‘Ben,’ she whispers.
In an instant, you realize this is your only chance to get out alive.  I promised.  You spin back up to your feet and bring your blade down on Kylo’s thigh. 
He feels that she’s fading, and a searing pain in his leg tears him away from her, and then she’s gone.  He drops to his knees with a cry. 
Before he can retaliate at all, you’re sprinting towards his ship.  He stands to chase after you, but as he turns, he sees his father, Han Solo, standing in the way.  Another wave crashes over him.  The water comes down, and with it, Han Solo is gone.
And you are flying away.
I can still buy them time.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
When Kylo finally gets back to the Finalizer, you are the only thing on his mind.  Finding you has never been more crucial to his life’s work.
However, the moment he arrives, he’s called to the throne room.  His search will have to wait- just for a while.  Soon.
Walking in, he kneels before Snoke, who briefly delivers the news.
Time suddenly moves differently as the words ring in his mind.  ‘She’s been sent for execution.  She is useless to us now- and only a distraction to you.  A weakness to be eliminated.’
Unbridled fury blinds him and commands his body to move.  Though his mind is far from him, his body is swift in its delivery of judgement.  It all seems to move past him in a blur.  She’s dead, he hears, over and over and over in his mind, screaming louder and louder. She’s dead.  My future is gone before I could even reach her.  She’s dead.
When his body finally stops, his chest heaving in labored breath, he looks around him to see bodies scattered across the floor.  Snoke’s legs still sit in his throne, but his torso lies on the ground beside it.  The blood of the praetorian guards riddles their already-red suits with dark crimson splotches. 
He’s killed his way through everyone that attempted to confuse him- to turn him from his destiny- and yet he’s never felt so lost.
But before he has another moment to think, someone else reaches out to him.
‘Kylo Ren,’ a familiar voice called out in his mind, ‘You are losing your way- straying from the legacy of your grandfather.  Join me.  Allow me to guide you again.’
“Okay,” Kylo whispers to himself.  He finally tears his eyes away from the slaughter he’s surrounded himself with and heads to his ship, on which a map through the Unknown Regions has been transmitted.  Ignoring the unfolding chaos around him, he takes off from the Finalizer’s hangar, headed for Exegol.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
As the troopers drag you away for execution, adrenaline slows time down to a crawl.  You think about everything that has seemed to go wrong since you made it to Chandrila, and how every decision- whether for better or worse- has brought you here.  You think about your father, the man you never got to meet again who died just the same way you’re about to.  It’s almost poetic.  Almost.
You think about the people you care about.  Vilya, who sacrificed her livelihood and her life for you.  Poe, whose promise you’d be breaking.  Kylo, who may never make it back to the light.  Finn and Rey, who trained with you and welcomed you into the family you never had.  Luke, who became like a father to you.  Obi-Wan, the man who believed in you despite the odds, and would now have to be let down.
Be with me, Grandfather, you think as the troopers bring you to your knees, the laser ax humming near your ear.
‘Bring balance back to the force,’ his voice replied urgently, ‘balance, padawan.’
You hear the whispers of the dark side teasing your mind again, and this time, you take its hand.  In one swift movement, you wrench from their grasp, turn around, and lift both troopers off the ground in a chokehold with the force.  The moment they fall unconscious, you dash to the hangar, taking the lesser-known hallways and shortcuts you've grown acquainted with to get there as fast as you can undetected.  When you arrive, you run to the closest ship and hop in, taking off the moment the ship starts running.  Though some troopers notice your sudden departure via an unauthorized ship, their blasts are powerless against your escape.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
Arriving back to the resistance base, you’re surrounded by chaos.  Countless ships are beginning to take off, while many others are speeding around to gather their supplies and say just-in-case goodbyes and well wishes.  Looking for any familiar face, you find Finn handing off gear to some pilots.
“Finn!” You call out over the noise of the crowd, weaving through the bodies to reach him.
His head perks up at his name, and upon your arrival, he greets you.
“Have the others left yet?”
“Rey is already there.  I think Poe is on his way, but he’s still reaching out to our allies for help.”
You nod.  “What about General Organa?” you ask, realizing the normally hands-on general is nowhere to be seen.
Finn's face falls.  He glances to the pilots, who wear a similar expression, and they take the rest of the gear before promptly heading off to their respective ships. 
“She’s gone,” he says finally.
Your heart sinks.  I didn’t know…
“But we carry on,” he adds.  “In her honor, and in the name of everyone we've lost along the way.”  Finn puts his hands on your shoulders.  “We could use your help.”
“I’m no pilot-”
“No,” he interjects, shaking his head, “Help Rey.”
“I don’t know if I can-”
“You have to try,” he pleads.
His look of desperation takes you back.
“Someone has to try,” he reiterates.  “I’ve seen you train.  You’re the only one of us who can keep up with her, and I’m worried she can’t do it alone.”
“Okay,” you nod, “I’ll try.”
He pulls you in for a hug, whispering a ‘thank you’ beside your ear.
“I’ll see you later then,” you suppose.
“See you there,” he confirms as he takes off towards the base.
You get back into the ship you had taken from the Finalizer to find that Finn sent you the map they had retrieved from the wayfinder.  With a deep breath and a prayer to the force, you take off to Exegol.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
Rey steps off of her ship and onto the ground of Exegol with Leia’s lightsaber in hand.  Before her stands- no, floats- what must be an old Sith temple just above the planet’s surface.  She looks up at the massive black structure as lightning strikes the ground nearby at random.  She moves forward, eventually finding a platform that begins to lower her underground.
She watches the statues surrounding her grow in height as the platform falls lower and lower until it finally stops.  She steps off and follows the guidance of the force as it leads her into the amphitheater that holds Darth Sidious, held by the Ommin Harness, and his throne.  She slowly walks up to Sidious, who greets his granddaughter with an all-too ominous sense of anticipation. 
With words he knows will sting, Sidious taunts her, insisting that her legacy is here.  Though a comment on her parents and a threat to her friends tempts her for a moment to give in, the force pulls her back as she realizes:  I’m not alone.
You’ve arrived- she can feel it. And you’re just in time.
She steps away, the hum of her drawn saber echoing in the massive room.
Sidious senses a shift and pulls back.  At the same time, the Sovereign Protectors make their way out of the shadows.
Rey brings her blade up with a smile.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
Kylo lands beside an old X-Wing fighter when he arrives to the stormy planet.  The dark side is potent here, meaning that the light stands out all the more- and Rey is a crimson stain on a blanket of snow.  He doesn’t need to see her to know that she’s already here.  In his mind, though, it’s just one more person from a long line of people that must be eliminated.
“All these lives, just for control?” The voice of Han Solo beckons from behind, stopping Kylo in his tracks.
Kylo keeps his back to the ghost of his father.  “They’re sacrifices for the greater good.  Control can put an end to the suffering.”
“The suffering will never end, son.  It’s life.  And no matter how hard you try, you’ll always find more like me- people who want to really live.”
“I killed you!” Kylo bellows, fists clenching at his side. “What makes them any different?”
“Did you?” Han asks, taking steps towards his son.
Kylo stops.  For once, he’s wordless.
“No matter how hard we try to run, we always end up back home.  The sooner you accept that, the easier your life is gonna be, kid.”
“I have no home,” he laments, turning his head back just over his shoulder.
Then, Leia speaks: “Oh, that’s a terrible excuse.”
Finally, Kylo turns around to see his father and mother standing side by side, looking at him with nothing but compassion in their eyes.
“Pave a new path, Ben,” Leia beckons.
He takes a few long moments to think. 
“There’s so many choices,” he finally whispers.
“It never matters how many options there are,” she reassures him, “you’ll know which one is right.”
“But even the right path seems so dark now.”
“The light will find you,” Leia encourages.
“It always does,” Han adds.
His parents fade, and he turns to stare out to the horizon.  With a grunt, he throws his saber.  As it arcs in the air, a bolt of lightning strikes down, running through the lightsaber and reaching the ground.  The hilt cracks as it falls to the dead earth, the kyber crystal inside shattered into pieces.
No more.
“Ben?”
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
When you arrive to Exegol, you take comfort in the feeling of having been here before; it gives you more confidence in your ability to help Rey.  Landing near the massive black box that seems to float on the planet’s surface, you notice two other ships are already there.  You take your place in line with them and step out of your ship. 
Your eyes are immediately drawn to the man you had been running from for so long now.  He stands at a distance, his body half-facing you, and yet he seems to be staring off into nothing, taking no notice of your arrival.  You watch as he throws his lightsaber into the horizon, a lightning bolt catching it as it flies.
You hesitantly walk towards him, but as you approach, you realize something is off.  The man before you is not at all the man you had come to know, and at the same time, he has never seemed to be more himself.  Suddenly, you’re reminded of one of the first times you had seen into his mind, all those months ago: the visions of his mother longing for him to come home- the sound of her calling his name.  As you look to the man before you, only one name comes to mind; so, in a shaky voice, you call to him:
“Ben?”
He turns to you.  The light.  His mind takes a moment to process the sight in front of him. He runs to you.  Before you can embrace, he stops just short.  But what if she’s only a ghost, too; here to haunt me for my failure?
You sense his hesitation, his fear, and his aching heart.  You take his hand in both of yours.  “It’s me,” you affirm softly.
His shoulders relax as he lets out a shaky, thankful breath.  She’s alive.  Despite his moment of blissful victory, he is still left unsure of what to do or say next.
Something tells you he didn’t come here to help.  Yet, you know now that he can.  Together, you think. 
“I have to do this,” you finally say, your voice carrying a greater confidence than you were used to.
“I know,” he says softly.
“And you do too.”
He nods.  “Together.”
You remove your sabers from your belt and hold them out in front of you.  Your eyes linger on the saber in your left hand- Anakin’s saber.  The one Kylo unknowingly brought you to in Tatooine.  The one Luke gifted to you and trained you with.  The one that could bring balance to the force when carried with the other.  Looking back up at Ben, you hand him his grandfather’s lightsaber.
You both draw your grandfathers’ blades as the Knights of Ren suddenly surround you.  Clashing blades and strained yells and thuds of bodies ring out in a cacophony accompanied by the sound of thunder as you fight.  As blades once turned against each other return back to weapons meant to work together, you both feel the spirits of Obi-Wan and Anakin guide your minds and your blades to act as one.  Though fighting well, the Knights of Ren could not stop the power set in motion by the two of you.
It's as if the force is using you both to heal a wound neither caused.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
Luke was first caught off guard by the smell of smoke, as if a giant bonfire had been started somewhere nearby.  It wasn’t until he saw the source of the smoke that he began to panic.
Running towards the old tree, he’s horrified to see flames engulfing the trunk.  As he begins to hopelessly attempt to put out the flames, he realizes Yoda has been standing there all along in his ghostly form.
“Help me!” Luke cries out in desperation.
“No need, there is.  Start the fire, I did.”
Luke stops as Yoda’s words sink in.  “You did what?”
“Time, it is.  Pave a new path, we must.  One of balance.  Set in motion, you must,” Yoda explains.
“But we could still use those!”
“Create something new, you cannot, if, cling to the old, you will.”
Though a little reluctant to admit it, Luke sees the truth of Yoda’s words, even if he disagreed with the drastic actions taken to underline them.  It was time to let go of the idea that there could only be one or the other- light or dark.  He could still leave a legacy, but it could be a better one; it could be dedicated to accepting the balance already within the force.
“So how do we start?”
“Your nephew- needs you, he does.  To Exegol, you must go.  Made right, wrongs will be.”
Luke wonders if perhaps the force will make a way for him, so he could still help guide his nephew; perhaps he didn’t fail Ben completely.  Maybe he could help his latest padawans, too.  But there’s only one way to know.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  
You and Ben manage to finish off the Knights of Ren and make it down to the throne room of the Sith Citadel by the time Rey defeats the last of the Sovereign Protectors.
As Rey steadies herself again, the three of you line up and ready your blades.  For a moment, with the each of you giving it your all, it seems you just manage to counter every move Sidious can throw at you.  We have a chance of winning this.  However, after only a few moments of vicious back-and-forth attacks, Sidious forces the three of you backward.
Holding Rey and Ben back with the lightning that streaks from his hand, Sidious force chokes you, lifting you up and towards him.  “Give into your pain,” he growls at you. 
He then turns to Ben.  “Your anger made you stronger,” he taunts.  He throws you off to the side, your back slamming into the stone wall surrounding you. 
Using the force, he holds you there, a few meters off the ground.  “And you cannot save them all,” he cackles to Rey as the ceiling of the Citadel splits open.
Hanging above you are hundreds and hundreds of ships flying amidst a massive Sith fleet.  Canon blasts riddle the sky as the ships all fire at each other.  Suddenly, a gigantic bolt of lightning arcs up into the sky, splitting into hundreds of small branches, each attaching to a resistance ship.
As the lightning shoots upward, Sidious slams you to the ground.
You hear both Rey and Ben yell as you hit the ground with a thud and blackout.
When you come back to consciousness, you look up to see Luke standing a few yards away from Sidious.  Casting out from his hands is a cluster of lightning, aimed directly for Luke.
Luke’s eyes are set on Sidious, his determination made clear in his expression.  On the other side of the bolts of lightning are Luke’s hands, catching the lightning and pushing it backward.
Sidious laughs as Luke begins to slide backwards due to the force of the attack he’s holding back.
Blueish spheres of energy begin to build in front of Luke’s palms as he finally holds his ground and begins to take steps towards Sidious.
Sidious’ expression shifts to concern as Luke overtakes the power used against him and harnesses it.
With a shout, Luke pushes the energy he had channeled back to Sidious, and suddenly the lightning bolt branching out in the air above disappears as Sidious is forced backwards.  Cracking and crashing sounds ring out as the harness holding Sidious up and keeping him alive breaks down, some pieces falling to the ground.
Luke flies backwards from the resulting explosion, landing hundreds of feet away from the fight.
Ben jumps up with his saber, set to fly down on Sidious and split him in half, but he’s stopped just inches before his blade can touch the Sith.  His saber falls to the ground as he’s held in the air.
You finally manage to get to your feet and run to Luke, but before you can make it even halfway to him, you’re suddenly being dragged backwards towards Sidious.
In just a few moments, You and Ben have been forced to your knees side by side.  You watch helplessly as beams of whispering, swirling light are drawn out for your chest and his.  You feel the force cry out as you become increasingly weaker.  Your body fights to get into overdrive as death draws near, but to no avail.
A sick laughter echoes in the chamber as Sidious watches his decomposing body come back to life, sapping the power of a dyad.
Suddenly, the pressure holding you and Ben up relieves and you both drop.
Rey stands between you, two sabers clutched in her hands.
Another arc of lightning crackles over your head, which Rey catches and pushes back with Obi-Wan’s saber.
“I,” Sidious bellows, his voice ringing out in the room and in your minds as you struggle to stay awake, “am all the Sith.”
Rey begins to push forward.  As she passes you, you can hear the voices of countless people whispering.  This time, the whispers aren’t dark, hissing threats.  Instead, light seems to glow around her as the whispers make her stronger.
“And I,” she answers through gritted teeth, drawing Anakin’s saber and crossing the blade over Obi-Wan’s, “am all the Jedi.”
She reaches the steps of Sidious’ decayed throne and forces the lightning back onto him. 
His flesh begins to rip and tear away from his bones.  He cries out in agony as his power, his throne, and his life are finally ripped away from him for the last time until there is nothing left.
The moment he’s gone, you glance up at the skies to see the Sith ships explode as the resistance ships- now recovered and revitalized with hope- destroy everything that’s left.
You smile weakly, looking back to Ben to make note of the victory, but he’s no longer there.
He sits beside Rey, who lies limp on the ground.
You manage to crawl over to her.
“Do something,” he pleads to you.
I’m the healer.  I should be able to do something.  You look down and gingerly take Rey’s body from Ben’s hands.  As you hold her, though, you sense that she is too far gone for any tincture or medicine.
“Give her to me,” Luke instructs softly as he kneels down next to you.
You look up at him hesitantly as you shift Rey from your lap into his.
“It’s time we bring an end to the Jedi, too,” he begins, looking between you and Ben as he holds Rey, one hand cradling her head while one rests on her stomach.  “One extreme will always foster the growth of the other.  Forge a new way.”
You nod, and though you don’t understand why, something churns in your stomach telling you that this is goodbye.
Ben nods, and it seems he understands more than you do.  “Thank you,” he whispers, his eyes sparkling as they well up.  A tear gently rolls down his cheek in silence.
With a soft smile, Luke closes his eyes and calls out to the force one last time.  He takes a deep breath.
Rey’s breathing grows stronger as color comes back to her body.  She looks over to you, then to Ben, then to Luke.
You smile at the sight of Rey sitting up, her strength renewed.
She turns to Luke to thank him, but before the words make it out, Luke disappears.
You blink a few times as you look down to see his robes left behind in his place.
Rey turns back to you both with a grin, sharing a knowing look.
Though he’s gone, you realize you can still sense his presence, and you finally understand.
Without wasting another moment, you pull Rey and Ben into an embrace.  You all let out a breathy, almost incredulous laugh.  We did it.  We won.
You all help each other onto your feet and stand.  Rey gathers the robes of her mentor and calls the stray sabers to her hands.  You and Ben take your sabers back from Rey and look up to the skies. 
Though the ships are no longer firing, and most are still, you can almost hear their cheers from down here.  One by one, the resistance and their allies begin to take off, heading back to wherever they came from.
The three of you silently return to your ships.  Rey gets into hers first.
“I’ll meet you there,” you promise.
She nods, thanking the both of you one last time, and takes off to return to the resistance base.
You watch her leave before looking back down at Ben, who can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. 
He closes the gap between you and wraps his arms around you in a strong embrace.
You return the affection without a moment of hesitation.
While you’re holding each other, it feels as if something has finally finished; as if a chapter is closed- one that you both-and the force itself- were waiting for all along.
You let go just enough to see Ben’s face and, with as much courage as you have left, kiss him.
When you finally pull away from each other, you both wear a bright smile.
“I need to return to my friends,” you finally say.
“Go,” he encourages, walking backwards to his ship.
“Where will I find you?”
“I’ll be home.”
You laugh as you watch him take off.  You know he means your home, in Coruscant- but, you do like the idea of sharing it with him.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• 
Arriving back to the resistance base, you struggle to find a place to land among the scattered ships that were hastily parked and the masses of people celebrating the final victory.  Eventually, you do find a place to comfortably park your ship.
Although you’re exhausted from the insane day you had just endured, you’re also antsy to see your friends again.  You wander through the clusters of people, scanning for anyone you recognize.  You realize trying to ask anyone for direction would be hopeless- not just because they would have no real answer, but also because they’re caught up in their own moments.  Finally, your eyes land on Rey and Finn, locked in a tight embrace. 
You jog over to them and see a weary looking Poe approaching the couple.  You run straight to him, nearly toppling him over in a hug.  He lets out an easy laugh.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
“For what?”
“For keeping your promise.”
“Only because you kept yours,” he answers, relief clear in his voice. 
You lightly peck his cheek and pull away.
He gives you a wink before Finn barges in and hugs Poe, the two of them laughing.  You turn to Rey and the two of you embrace again, your laughter joining the cacophony of jubilation that surrounds you all.
It’s over.  You all won.  And you can change the future for the better.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• 
After some retellings of the battles you each fought and making plans to meet up again to discuss the journey that now lies before you all, you decide it’s time to head back home.  You start making your way back to your ship to see Luke leaning against it, grinning as he waves at you.  Beside him is Obi-Wan, arms crossed, watching with a smile.  The two of them, though appearing to you clear as day, seem to be somewhat translucent.  You stop in your tracks.
“Thank you,” you whisper to them, “for everything.”
With a wink from one and a nod from the other, they fade away.
You get back to your ship and arrive at Coruscant to see Ben standing outside, leaning against the doorway of your home as he watches the sunset.  When you reach him, he lifts and spins you in another hug, setting you back down with a kiss.  There is so much to say, but for now, it will have to wait.
The two of you head inside to celebrate, rest, and dream about the future you will create together.
(Epilogue)
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notyourhetloki · 1 year
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tell me what you want (NSFW)
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Pronouns: none // gender neutral
/NSFW Kylo Ren x Reader/
A/N: sooo... I'm back (kinda). I've been struggling about my writing lately but my last Kylo imagine (this one) keeps getting notes so I decided to write a sequel! I hope yall enjoy ~
Warnings: reader is bottoming, Kylo is very straightforward and not gentle at all, mind fuck (literally), inappropriate use of the force.
On his way to the training quarters, Kylo realized he forgot about his helmet... but he couldn’t bring himself to give a damn.
You had seen his face before, but barely. Which proved to be a distraction.
You couldn't look away from him. His face, the way his hair moved around with his every move, his expressions when he glanced at you, his mouth…
Barely executing any attacks, you only halfway managed to deflect Kylos. And on the last strike, you let your lightsaber fall to the ground.
His own lightsaber then pointed at your neck, inches from skin. Anxiety now filling your chest.
"Pick it up" an unfiltered voice spoke. Deep and stern. With the lack of his helmet's modulator, his voice was so clear... it resonated through your body.
Slowly, you managed to move. Lowering yourself until your hands grazed the saber on the ground. Kylo kept his focus on you, maintaining eye contact and still following your neck with his lightsaber.
With one swift move, Kylo lifted his hand and, using the force, summoned your saber to him. Leaving you there kneeling and confused.
You stayed in position for what seemed like forever, just staring at Kylo and his dark eyes. The way he looked at you was... intense. But you weren't sure about his intentions. Maybe you were just crazy and desperate or-
"You look good like that..." almost a whisper, but audible in the now utmost silence of the room. Kylo had turned his saber off and looked at you up and down with what you could only describe as hungry eyes.
Your body shivered, heat forming in your core as you inhaled sharply. You weren't crazy. A thrill danced down your spine as you realized that. And Maker, how much you wanted this man.
He must have sensed your excitement, for now, his face displayed a smug half-smile. Yeah, you wanted him, but sometimes wanted to punch the man in the gut for always looking into your thoughts like that.
"Say that again?" he ordered mocking, in a way. His face full of delight... he enjoyed himself too much. 
"What do you want, Kylo?" you were irritated but turned mad when your question was met with silence and a stare. Ok, two could play the same game.
With all the concentration and force you could gather, you managed to look inside Kylo's mind. And what you found was... not really any resistance. 
"Tell me what you want... master." you insisted, voice inside his brain now. Maybe a bit too bold, but you couldn't resist using that last word. It sounded so right, so deliciously defiant, and you knew Kylo could appreciate that.
But nothing could have prepared you for his response.
Kylo took a fistful of your hair, hard enough to hurt. Then lowered himself to talk into your ear, but didn't. The voice came from inside your head.
"I want to take you and absolutely ruin you. Make you into a mewling pathetic mess. You’ll cry my name while I claim your body and in the end, you’ll be mine. Mine..." his voice was full of you could almost mistake as rage, his desire so intense and mad it sent a cold sweat through you.
You closed your eyes at that, emotions too overwhelming to bare. That only proved to be worse. His voice now came accompanied by visuals.
 In a bed, naked, the both of you laid. Kylo kissed you with hungry urgency, teeth nipping at your lower lip while one of his hands tugged at your hair, making you hum in anticipation.
Then, with a pull on your hips, you were spun around with your back facing him. Hands gripping the sheets as his long fingers grazed at your skin, down your spine...
You felt every single thing like it was actually happening, felt the way his skin ran through yours, his sweat and his tongue and lips and...
Suddenly you felt the tip of his cock grazing your entrance, slowly penetrating you at first but then rapidly gaining momentum as your walls deliciously stretched.
Maker, he was fucking you. Harsh and deep and full of need. His cock hitting a sweet little spot with every thrust, and you were a mess. 
He felt so big as he pinned you against the mattress, dominating you with his body.
Kylo was tugging at your hair while growling with pleasure. A sound so deep it sent you shivers and ached at your core. "So tight and horny for me, such a slut."
You felt out of this plane, out of your mind. All you could do was cry and shout Kylo's name. Dumb with the feeling of him around and inside you.
With a loud exhale, Kylo grunted softly "You're mine..." voice coarse with pleasure, he sank his teeth into your neck, starved and urgent. Oh, it felt so good, the pain and the pleasure mixing into pure bliss, you almost couldn't take it anymore. "I-I'm... I'm gonna..."
Before you could finish, the image was gone. Kylo shoved you by the hair onto the floor, both of you flushed red and sweating.
Panting, you were reminded it wasn't real... the bastard didn't even let you finish. And now you were on the floor, shocked.
Kylo could hide his hitched breath, but couldn't hide the redness on his face... maybe he didn't mean to show that much.
"Meet me at my quarters after dinner. We got many things to discuss..." Kylo stormed out of the room, face blushing and sweat coming down his temples.
You were left dumbfounded, a bit humiliated, and really horny. Did he fantasize about all of that before? Since when? How many fantasies did he have? Did he think about you often?
Yeah, you're sure you'd get all the answers soon enough.
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sweetrevxnge · 6 months
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Like Phantoms, Forever
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Chapter Twenty | Across the Stars
Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader
Summary: Your destiny had never been clear to you, only becoming so when it led you to leaving behind the life you knew to train with the galaxy's sole Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. His Jedi Academy became your new home, bringing with it the promise of someday becoming a Jedi Knight. While navigating the ways of the Force, an inexplicable connection forms between you and a fellow student—the heir to the legendary Skywalker bloodline, Ben Solo. Together, the two of you must face your destinies and forge the path to your true selves.
What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death
Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA
*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!
Masterlist
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Word count: 6.4k
Chapter-specific CW: NSFW, descriptions of drowning
A/N: yes, I took 6 months to update this. no, I don't have any good excuses. but if you're still here reading along, know that I appreciate you so, so much and am trying my best to write more often :') ALSO... since starting this story, Lucasfilm has officially stated that Luke's academy is located on Ossus, so I'm going to edit the story to match that!
───────── ⋆ ☆ ⋆ ─────────
“Geegee, set course for Ilum.”
Ben’s voice echoed through the steel ship as you watched the Academy fade into the distance, lost in the green expanse of Ossus. You stood at the back of the ship’s hull, choosing to watch your departure from a narrow viewport rather than the cockpit.
“Right away, Master Solo,” said the droid, joints squeaking as it tottered to the cockpit.
As the roar of the ship’s engines lowered to a hum, unease crept in. While the thought of venturing into the galaxy to find a kyber crystal once filled you with excitement, it now made your stomach churn. It’s going to be okay, you told yourself, trying to make it true.
Leaving the safety of the New Republic’s surveillance was hard enough on its own, let alone voyaging to a foreign ice planet in the Unknown Regions. It wasn’t all bad, though. Knowing that Geegee automatically transmitted a signal back to the Academy provided you some comfort.
Behind you, you could hear the clicks and whirs of the control panel as Ben prepared the hyperdrive. You turned around, finding him hunched over the panel, muttering something about the motivator. Despite his frustration, he carried an air of confidence as he worked. Shoulders relaxed, hair pushed back from his eyes. It was a stark contrast to the first time you had flown with him in the Grimtaash.
The memory flashed in your mind when your eyes landed on the co-pilot’s seat—the same seat that cradled your bruised, bleeding body the night you escaped Zeffo. Just the thought of it was enough to make you doubt this entire journey.
Ben sat down in his chair, letting out an accomplished sigh as he rested his hands on his knees. With the coordinates entered and the drone of the engines steadily growing louder, you knew what was coming next.
“Everything alright over there?”
Ben’s voice snapped you from your trance. You let out a sharp breath, unaware that you had been holding it for the duration of your reverie.
“Princess?” he said louder this time, craning his neck to meet your gaze.
Whether it was your unconvincing nod or your failure to meet his gaze after his question that gave your apprehension away, you weren’t sure. Regardless, in a matter of seconds, he had jumped out of his chair and come to stand in front of you, hands clasped over yours in a firm—yet comforting—grip.
“Talk to me, princess.”
It came in pieces. The pounding in your temples, followed by the pungent taste of blood coating your tongue. But the memories weren’t strictly physical. Defeat and desperation replaced your climbing anxiety, polluting your senses with the stench of utter fear. All from just looking at a piece of furniture.
Just before you could unravel, Ben’s grip on you tightened, pulling you from your thoughts. It wasn’t until your name spilled over his lips, drenched with concern, that you pulled your gaze away from the co-pilot’s seat. 
“I’m sorry, I can’t–”
“Stop it.”
You stiffened. “Stop what?”
“Saying sorry all the time,” he said with a tsk. “I’m going to start charging you five credits every time you do it.”
“Well, the joke’s on you then. I don’t have any credits,” you said dryly.
Ben cocked an eyebrow at you and, without him saying a single word, you gave in. Exhaling a long breath, your nerves settled.
“It’s just hard being in here again, even under the best circumstances.” Without realizing it, you found yourself squeezing his hands in return, holding onto him like a lifeline. “Not to mention what would happen if I were unable to find a kyber crystal. Master Skywalker would send me into exile and I would be forced to live a life veiled in shame and failure–”
“Okay, I get it,” he said, fighting back a laugh. “But that’s not going to happen. It’s going to be okay, I promise,” he said, releasing your hands as he sat down again. “Now, we need to make the jump to hyperspace, which is unfortunately something you need to be sitting for. It’ll just be a moment, okay?”
You nodded in understanding, moving to sit in the co-pilot’s chair. But before you could lower yourself into the seat, Ben’s hands locked onto your waist, spinning you around and pulling you to sit on his lap.
A gasp escaped your mouth, earning a deep, amused laugh from the pilot. You whipped your head around, shooting him a disapproving look.
“What? I didn’t specify where you had to sit,” he said, squeezing your hips lightly. His gentle touch eased your nerves, calming you in a matter of seconds.
“You’re an infuriating man, you know that?” you said with mock ridicule.
“So I’m told.” Dimples framed his smile, melting away any remaining concern. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost believe that his charm was more effective than any sedative a medical droid could offer. Almost.
Ben leaned forward, toggling a few more switches on the control panel. The feeling of his lips grazing the shell of your ear pulled you from your thoughts.
“Will you do me the honor?” he asked, weaving his fingers with yours as he guided your hand to the slender chrome lever in the center of the dashboard. The hyperdrive.
“Are you sure I’m qualified?” you asked.
With a peck on the cheek, he replied, “Absolutely.”
Your heart slammed into your ribs, causing your hands to tremble as you grabbed the rod. It was natural to be nervous about flying—especially when you were in the pilot’s seat. But the big arms wrapped around your torso assured you that you were safe.
As you pulled back on the lever, the engines roared in crescendo, launching the ship into hyperspace. The momentum pinned you against Ben, forcing you to grab onto the armrests for support. In the blink of an eye, the stars surrounding you transformed into blinding streaks of light before morphing into the swirling blue blur of deep space. To say it was exhilarating would be an understatement.
“Look at you,” Ben cooed, planting another kiss on your shoulder. “Before you know it, you’ll be piloting this thing all by yourself.”
You scoffed. “I seriously doubt that. I can barely operate a landspeeder without endangering myself and others.”
“Well, there’s only one way to get better, and I assure you, I’m a much better teacher than my uncle is.” Ben lowered his seat to a more comfortable position, pulling you back with him until you were resting against his chest.
“Is that so?” You couldn’t control your wandering hands as they crawled up the pleats of his robes, peeling back the fabric along his chest and neck.
He clasped your hands in his, holding them in place. “I mean it. After everything that happened, I want you to be comfortable piloting if you need to.”
There it was again, that horrible cloud that hung over your head at the mere mention of Zeffo. As if sensing this, Ben sighed and brought your fingers to his lips.
His warm breath spreading over your skin and his big, brown eyes peering up at you softened your resolve, leaving you no choice but to agree. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”
“I think you’ll find that I can be quite persuasive,” he said as he kissed the tender pads of your fingers, slowly working his way from pinky to thumb. He lingered on the last digit, dragging it over his plush lips. “Want me to show you?”
You nodded, mind turning hazy as you watched his lips, keenly aware of his other hand creeping under your tunic.
“Ben, we really shouldn’t,” you said halfheartedly, trying and failing to pull your hands free.
“Why not?”
“Because…” You drew the word out, motioning with your eyes to the empty hull of the ship. “This ship isn’t exactly private.”
He followed your gaze. “I see. Here, allow me to fix that.”
Without taking his attention off you, Ben flicked a switch on the control panel, causing the sliding door of the cockpit to close, hissing as it sealed you in.
“Better?” he asked, slipping his other hand under your robes, leaving a trail of gooseflesh behind as he inched towards your bra.
You breathed a sigh of relief as you rolled your hips forward, pressing down on his growing desire. “Much.”
He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. “Now, we need to address a different issue. You’re wearing too many clothes.” His wandering hands stopped at the clasp of your bra, undoing it in one swift motion. “Let’s fix that.”
Raising your arms over your head, you let him peel away the heavy cloth, kicking off your boots as he did the same with his robes. Arousal burned through you as you undressed in the small space, cursing the confines of the cockpit. Still in his uniform pants, Ben pulled you onto his lap again, eyes raking over your newly exposed skin like it was the first time he’d seen it.
All that remained now was your underwear, the only barrier between you and the rough cloth of his pants as you straddled his hips. “Why do I always end up more naked than you?”
“Shh…” A smirk ghosted his lips as strong hands moved to grab fistfuls of your ass, squeezing with a bruising force. “We wouldn’t want anyone overhearing us, would we?”
The heat simmering low in your belly quickly transformed into a wild flame, demanding attention. Lacing your fingers through his hair, you kissed down the curve of his neck, running along the taut muscles until you reached his collarbone.
“I can’t make any promises,” you said, teeth grazing his skin.
A low moan rumbled in his chest, vibrating on your lips. “Fuck,” he said under his breath, snaking a hand up your spine and doing the same to your hair. Tugging your head back, he leaned in close to your ear and whispered, “Then I’ll have to find another way to keep you quiet.”
With that, his grip loosened, fingers moving to trace over your jaw until his thumb slid over your bottom lip. “Open,” he ordered, trailing kisses down your chest, coming dangerously close to your breasts.
You obeyed, squirming in his lap from the anticipation, seeking any relief for the ache growing between your legs. As you parted your lips, he pushed his thumb into your mouth.
“Good. Now, suck.”
Head spinning with arousal, you swirled your tongue over his digit, earning a groan of approval from him. You stifled a gasp as he took a nipple into his mouth, alternating between sucking and rolling his tongue over it. Beneath you, you could feel his cock stiffening, causing your arousal to burn hotter.
Wanting to encourage this, you sucked harder, allowing your moans to rumble around his thumb. When his cock twitched against you, you beamed with pride.
A moment later, he released your nipple with a pop, free hand fumbling with the waistband of his pants. “I need to fuck you,” he said, practically begging as he worked his pants down.
Every nerve in your body was alight, needy for attention. He pulled his thumb away, watching in awe as a string of saliva fell from your lips before running it over the head of his cock. Pupils blown with lust, he wasted no time, dragging your underwear to the side and spreading your desire around your entrance.
With a grunt, he paused, searching your eyes. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” you said breathlessly, aligning yourself with him. “Please.”
You both let out a sigh as he pushed into you, lips clashing together. Before long, you relaxed around him, sinking your hips lower, relishing how he stretched you. He moved slowly at first, giving you control as he closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the headrest. Dark locks of hair fanned over his face, clinging to the beads of sweat forming on his skin.
True to his word, he kept quiet, concealing his groans of pleasure as heavy breaths. The same couldn’t be said for you, who was letting out wanton moans with every thrust. It wasn’t for a lack of trying, though. The desire coursing through you had addled your mind, leaving you unable to control yourself.
A particularly loud gasp caught Ben’s attention, causing him to slow his movements. “Careful, princess.”
Nails digging into the armrests, you held back another moan. “Sorry—I just can’t—help it.”
“I know you can’t.” The corners of his lips twitched and before you knew it, his thumb was seeking entrance to your mouth again. “Now, be a good girl for me and stay quiet.”
Running your tongue over his thumb, you welcomed him in again, heat rushing to your core as you sucked. Ben’s breaths grew erratic as he continued to fuck into you, eyes trained on your lips. He effectively silenced you, but the few moans that managed to escape were now muffled by his thumb instead.
“That’s my girl,” he said, sliding his finger free and dropping it to your aching clit. “I think you deserve a reward.”
“Don’t tease, Ben,” you whimpered, eyes fluttering shut as he slowly applied pressure.
“Didn’t plan on it,” he said, drawing tight circles around your bud. 
The sensation was enough to drive you insane, hips rolling involuntarily against his hand, demanding more. Insatiable as ever, you pleaded for him to go faster, earning his cooperation.
“Fuck—baby—you look so good riding me.” His words were broken by quick breaths, evidence of his mounting pleasure. Your thighs burned from straddling his, trembling as your own pleasure threatened to wash over you. Every second you spent teetering on the edge felt torturous, stretching for eternity.
Desperate for release, you rolled your hips harder, forcing more pressure from Ben’s hand. A string of expletives fell from your lips as your resolve shattered, allowing the ecstasy bubbling beneath the surface to flood in. You bit down on the back of your hand, lost in the waves of euphoria that rippled through your body, your cunt pulsing around his cock.
With one last thrust, Ben gripped you tight, pulling you against his chest and burying his face into your neck. He littered your skin with sloppy kisses as he regained his composure, slowly leaning back into the seat.
“I wish we could stay like this forever,” you whispered, resting your forehead against his as your fingers traced over his rattling chest.
He let out a long sigh through his nose before agreeing. “Me too.”
Time passed like the stars swirling around you, and before long, the Grimtaash snapped out of hyperspace, revealing the ice planet of Ilum before you.
With a striking, silvery atmosphere, and patches of white storms riddling its surface, Ilum was truly a sight to behold. Unlike Dantooine and Ossus, there was no distinction between the terrains, only a vast, pale landscape.
“You weren’t lying about the snow,” you said, standing from your seat to get a better look.
“That’s what the coats are for,” Ben replied with a wink before calling back to the hull of the ship. “Geegee, prepare the landing sequence.”
The two of you had traded your robes for thermals and jackets in anticipation of landing, but despite the layers, a chill traveled down your spine. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought it was from the planet’s atmosphere radiating through the ship, but you knew what caused it. The prospect of adventure, traversing the unknown with the person you love by your side.
The realization felt like a blow to your chest, upsetting your balance as you reclaimed your seat. A string of beeps behind you pulled you from your thoughts. Master Skywalker’s astromech had come out of rest mode, now serving as a well-timed distraction.
Ben laughed under his breath. “No, Artoo. Your wheels will freeze to the ground if you go with us.”
The droid fired back, warbling as he rocked side to side on his wheels in defiance.
“You know I’m right! We can’t just sit around all day waiting for you to defrost.”
Another rebuttal from the droid, one that made Ben’s mouth fall open. “Just… stay on the ship, okay?”
R2-D2 concluded his argument with another string of beeps before spinning his head and body around and leaving the cockpit.
The low hum of machinery permeated the silence as you sat back in your seat, arms crossed over your chest. You would’ve given anything to know what R2-D2 had said to get under Ben’s skin the way he did.
Ahead, the Grimtaash entered the planet’s atmosphere, causing the ship to lurch as it sliced through the storm clouds. The floor beneath you no longer felt solid as the turbulence rattled the ship like a leaf in the wind, dread stirring in your stomach.
“Hold on tight—it’s going to be a rough landing,” Ben said, hunched over the control panel as he completed the landing sequence.
“Yeah, I gathered that!”
With knuckles blanched around the armrests, you squeezed your eyes shut and waited for the chaos to settle. When the ship finally touched the ground, you relaxed, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
Running a hand through his glossy black hair, Ben smiled at you. “Welcome to Ilum.”
All the furs and thermals in the galaxy couldn’t have prepared you for the cold of Ilum. It was visceral, threatening to turn every drop of blood in your body into crimson ice. White flurries engulfed you, blinding you to your surroundings. If it weren’t for his hand clutching yours, you’d hardly be able to make out where Ben stood.
“Lovely weather this time of year, isn’t it?” he joked, voice raised over the howling wind.
You opened your mouth to respond but stopped when the chill spread through your teeth, prompting you to pull one of your many layers over your nose for coverage. “I didn’t think it was possible to be this cold.”
Shielding the snow from his eyes, he leaned in closer. “Once we get inside the caves, it won’t be so bad.”
From the depths of his coat pockets, he retrieved a small cylindrical device, struggling to activate it from the confines of his leather gloves. Finally, a blue digital map appeared in the center, displaying a system of caves and tunnels northeast of where you’d landed.
“There,” he said, his breaths strained from the weather. “The closest entrance is less than a kilometer away. Follow me.”
Wordlessly, you did as you were told, careful to step in Ben’s footprints to avoid sinking through the snow. The two of you were uncharacteristically quiet as you trekked through the tundra. You daydreamed about beams of sunlight, steaming cups of caf, and hot showers—just to name a few. More than just a coping mechanism for the intense cold, it also served as a distraction from the task awaiting you.
A natural opening in the crag served as your respite from the elements, inviting you to explore the labyrinth within. Despite being encased in frost and ice, the alcove felt warm, if only from the vapor of your breaths.
“So, where do we go from here?” you asked, voice hoarse from the wind.
“That’s kind of the problem,” Ben said, peeling off his wind-beaten jacket. “The Empire gutted this place, making it unstable in some areas. For now, we’ll follow the charted tunnels.”
“Why am I not surprised to hear that?” you grumbled, doing the same with your coat. It came as no surprise to learn that the Empire plundered the Jedi’s sacred planet, destroying the ancient temple housed in its caves as they did. Twisting the knife in the Jedi Order’s back.
“It’s what they did best. But that’s why we’re here,” he said, a smile tugging at his rosy lips. “To rebuild.”
To defend, you thought. Your heart sank at the idea of your efforts being in vain. What good would a fledgling Jedi Order be against a rising empire? If the old Order crumbled at the height of its power, Master Skywalker’s Order didn’t stand a chance.
You cleared your throat, pushing your thoughts aside and refocusing on the task at hand. “Right. Well, then. Where should we start?” you asked, glancing at the glowing holomap in his palm.
“That’s not my decision to make.” His eyes twinkled from the blue light of the map as he placed it in your hand.
As much as you wanted to reject it, you didn’t. He was right, after all. This was your journey; he was just here as support.
“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “But I don’t want to hear any complaints if we get lost.”
He smiled down at you. “Sure thing, princess.”
You nodded, holding his gaze for a moment longer. It was impossible to ignore his frostbitten beauty. Tendrils of hair clung to his forehead, the result of melted frost and sweat. The cold highlighted his sharp features more than ever, coloring his cheeks and nose in a peachy hue. Under different circumstances, you’d be happy to help him warm up.
Heat rushed to your face as you refocused on the holomap. Now was not the time—and most certainly not the place.
You examined the details of the holomap, trying to make sense of the labyrinth of grainy blue pathways. The crack you’d slipped through was just one of many that led to the caverns within, like veins tracing back to a heart. From what you could tell, the path you were on eventually let out into a central chamber, which then branched out into a handful of different tunnels. It was as good a starting point as any, and with a deep breath, you set out.
Ben followed behind you as you navigated the tunnel, with only the occasional drop of water breaking the comfortable silence. Stalactites adorned the ceiling, each bearing a unique state of damage. Every inch of the slate walls shimmered with ice crystals, reflecting in all directions as the blue glow of the holomap passed by. Slivers of clouded sunlight squeezed through cracks in the cavern’s walls, illuminating your footpath.
“What was your first time here like?” you asked over your shoulder, studying the mining scars etched into the walls for any sign of kyber.
“Loud,” he said, sighing. “I mean, just imagine a dozen teenagers running around a place like this. It’s a miracle we didn’t drive Master Skywalker insane.”
You couldn’t help but smile at the image he painted. He, Tai, Hennix, and to your surprise, Voe came to mind, a decade younger than they were now, squealing as their feet slid across the patches of ice. And Master Skywalker, futilely trying to reign them in.
“Maybe that’s why he wasn’t keen on coming back,” you said with a scoff.
He chuckled. “Maybe.”
A beat passed before you asked, “How long did it take you to find your crystal?”
Another sigh. “I’ll tell you once you find yours.”
Where you had hoped his answer would provide you with some comfort, you were only left with doubt. What if you couldn’t find one today? Or tomorrow? Or at all?
“Of course you will,” you muttered, watching your position on the holomap as it gently pulsed, showing that you were approaching the end of the tunnel.
The cave ahead was larger than you’d expected. With a ceiling that blended with the hanging darkness, you would’ve thought you’d stumbled upon a rune crafted by ancient men. But the crags and formations embedded in the walls proved otherwise. Water trickled freely down the jagged mineral, echoing throughout the room and filling the space with a fresh fragrance—rather than that of stale air.
Veins of opaque, white crystal ran through the stone walls, and for a moment, you wondered if this was it. There was only one way to find out.
Carefully, you approached a thread, setting the holomap down on a patch of ice. With trembling hands, you peeled a glove off and brushed the surface. The cavern immediately siphoned the warmth from your fingers, turning them numb before you could determine if the ore was made of kyber.
Finally, you conceded. “I don’t feel anything,” you grumbled, working your hand back into the glove.
Ben came to stand behind you, chest pressed flush against your back as his hands slid down your hips. “That’s okay. It’s just quartzite ore.” His breath fanned over your ear. “You’re not the first person to mistake it for kyber, and you won’t be the last, either.”
You spun around, still locked in his embrace. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
He smiled. “We’ve been looking for all of twenty minutes. Don’t give up yet, princess.”
Despite everything—the weight of the unknown, the frost forming within your lungs, the lingering doubts you held about leaving the protection of the Academy—you found yourself savoring this moment. Deep in the heart of Ilum’s caves, wrapped in Ben Solo’s arms, you were content.
The vision of Coruscant appeared in your mind. Of you and him on the balcony overlooking the crowded hyperlanes of the planet home to so much life that it had become life itself. A place where anyone could blend in. Or disappear.
You blinked, wiping away the dream. “What if I never find one?”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “I’d say that’s pretty unlikely. The Empire took what they could, but that doesn’t mean that they were thorough.”
“No. I mean…” You dropped your gaze, holding his hands on your waist. “What if we left now? Before I find a crystal, and before you undergo the Jedi Trials.”
At that, his face fell. “This is your fear talking. You’re not thinking rationally.”
“No, just… listen to me.” You guided yours and his hands over your heart, acutely aware of its relentless pace. “Is this our destiny? To steal moments under the cover of darkness? Away from the eyes of the galaxy?”
Ben was silent for a long moment, his honey eyes searching yours, full of conflict. “What if it is?”
Your breaths mingled, dancing to the tune of your heartbeats. His words told a different story than his heart—the heart you shared.
“I know you don’t believe that,” you said, running a thumb over his rosy cheeks. “So, what’s stopping you?”
He untangled himself from your grasp, raking his fingers through his hair as he paced the room. “I can’t just leave. The galaxy is on the brink of another war—the same war my family dedicated their lives to ending. I’ve spent the last thirteen years working to become a Jedi Knight, to protect the people of the galaxy from conflicts like this.” He pinched the bridge of his aquiline nose, shaking his head lightly. “I’ve come too close to throw it all away now.”
He was right. The galaxy was in jeopardy, its future dependent on the New Republic’s ability to snuff out a fire before it became an inferno. War was likely, and when it came, you both needed to be there to serve the light. To serve justice.
You realized then just how polarized the two of you were. Ben, the son of a Skywalker, burdened with the weight of a legacy imposed upon him from birth. Hailing from a family that ensured he would follow the Jedi path, just as his uncle and grandfather had.
And you, the daughter of a traitor. With no one left to turn to. Whose family legacy was that of deceit and treason.
It was unfair to ask this of him; you knew that. But in the same breath, you couldn’t imagine continuing to live like this.
Before you could apologize, Ben’s hands seized your face, his lips crashing against yours. His kiss felt like a flame breathing oxygen, burning hot and powerful, rendering you senseless.
“But I can’t lose you, either,” he said, resting his forehead on yours. “You are the stars in my sky. Without you, I’d be lost in the dark.”
Your heart skipped at his confession, and yet, words eluded you. The three you’d long wanted to give voice to felt too constrictive. What you shared with him went beyond anything under the definition of love alone. It was so much more than that—a connection that tied you to one another. The Force itself granted you this insight when it bridged your minds, creating the bond you shared. To call it love would be a disservice.
“Then come with me,” you whispered, pulling away to look at him. “It doesn’t have to be today. Just someday. Tomorrow holds endless possibilities for us.”
He pursed his lips as he let out a long breath, leaving you in agonizing suspense as he prepared his answer. “Okay.”
Elated, you reached to cup his face, eager to return the kiss he’d given you moments ago. Except his hands stopped you before you could.
“But only after you’ve finished your training,” he added, hands gliding down your arms. “And when the galaxy doesn’t need our help.”
It was a fair compromise to make—no different from you asking him to leave his life behind. Most of all, it was a compromise you could live with. 
“Promise?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes.
“I promise.” He breathed the words rather than whispered them, stoking the fire in your chest. Before you could, he closed the distance and kissed you again, more gently this time—perhaps than ever before. It was the manifestation of his word, and yours in return.
When he eventually pulled away, the ghost of his touch lingered, burning through your very soul. A vortex threatened to consume you, chipping away at your rationality, seeking to swallow you whole. But now was not the time. In this moment, you knew what you needed to do, and even if it required the strength of all the stars in the galaxy, you would do it.
You cleared your throat as you reached for the holomap, forcing yourself to be interested in anything other than tearing Ben’s clothes off. “It looks like this path here branches out into three smaller ones.” Using the dial on the base of the map, you magnified the projected image, looking to Ben for reassurance. “We’ll follow it through.”
He nodded. “Lead the way, captain.”
The two of you continued down the cavern’s narrow and winding passages for hours, only stopping when an unexpected gleam of light caught your eye. Out of the twelve times you’d hoped to find kyber, eight were quartzite, with the other four being shards of scrap metal left behind from the Empire’s demolitions. Each disappointment chipped away at your morale, feeding into your belief that you were unworthy of being a Jedi.
Ben must have recognized this as he suggested stopping for a break, digging through his pack for an energy ration. You came to stand beside him, dragging your feet across the ground as if they had turned into blocks of ice.
“Here,” he said, offering you the ration he’d fished out. “You need to eat. This will tie you over until we can get back to the ship.”
“At this rate, that could be days from now.” Your fingers had lost all dexterity as you tried to unwrap the ration, mouth beginning to water at the thought of food. “I just want to go home.”
As you took the first bite, your vision turned white, but only for a fraction of a second. It startled you, causing you to drop the chocolate-coated ration onto the icy floor.
“Hey! Careful with the Endorian cocoa. That stuff’s hard to come by nowadays,” Ben said as a deafening shriek pierced the silence of the caverns. 
You twisted your neck, trying to identify where it originated, heart hammering against your ribs as you lifted a trembling finger to your lips.
Ben grabbed the crook of your arm, turning you to face him. “What are you doing?” His tone was stern, seemingly unfazed by the cry that still echoed through the caves.
You wrested your arm free, lowering your voice to below than a whisper. “Are you deaf? That noise—the scream. We’re not alone.”
“I didn’t hear anything.” His dark eyes were wide, suspicious. “And we are alone. If we weren’t, the holomap would pick up their heat signatures, too.”
You lowered your eyes to the map, finding only yours and Ben’s forms in shades of red and yellow. But before you could consider any logical explanations for the sound, another cry rang through the tunnel, this time coming from the unexplored end of the path. Shrouded in darkness, the path beckoned you, drawing you closer like a magnet. The voice was deep and distorted, yet familiar. You closed off your other senses, focusing only on the voice as it came to clarity. Someone—or something—was calling for you.
“Come to me…” it said, nearly clear enough to be mistaken for another person in the room. “My love.”
Your breath hitched and tears welled in your eyes, rolling down your cold cheeks and onto the exposed fur of your jacket. It was a voice you wouldn’t soon forget.
“M-mom?” you asked, like a child searching for comfort in the night.
Ben stiffened at the word. “Princess, there’s no one else here.” From the volume of his voice, you could tell he was wary. He must have thought you were in a hallucinatory state, and truthfully, you couldn’t blame him.
“I know, but I can hear her calling for me,” you said, voice cracking as you stepped towards her voice. “I have to follow it.”
“No, you don’t.” He reached for you again, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Maybe you caught something in the infirmary or–”
“I’m fine,” you snapped, pulling away. “I just… feel like this is something I need to do.”
“Well, you’re not going alone,” Ben insisted, trailing behind you. “I promised Master Skywalker that I would keep you safe, and I can’t do that if we’re separated.”
You ignored him, turning on your heels and reaching into the Force to guide you in the right direction.
Beyond the shadows was another frost-lined chamber, and as you entered, the world around you fell silent. No voices, no footsteps, no ambient drops of water. Only the sound of your breath.
Your boots squeaked on the icy ground as you shifted your weight, glancing back to find Ben. To your surprise—and horror—you found yourself entirely alone. Not only that, but the chamber itself had become something unrecognizable, with no exits and cramped walls.
Panic swelled in your chest and as it did, the ice beneath you gave way, plunging you into dark, freezing water.
You were numb in an instant. Struggling against the weight of your clothes and the fear consuming you, you tried to swim, limbs heavy as bricks as you willed them to move. Unable to process what had happened, your thoughts were overtaken by instinct.
Slowly, you pushed forward, following the only source of light spilling through the black water. With no end in sight, you wondered if you would even make it, lungs growing tight, burning more with each passing second.
The light was pure, preternaturally so, blinding you as you swam into its glow. You resisted the urge to draw a breath, knowing that doing so would only seal your fate. You couldn’t die like this, not now. Not after the promises you’d made in these caves.
As the light engulfed you, you thought of Ben. Where was he? Could he sense that you were on the verge of sinking into oblivion? Would he mourn you when he realized?
With that last question, you used what was left of your energy to call to the Force, pleading for its aid. It wasn’t long before its familiar warmth came to you, an invisible hand grabbing yours and guiding you to the surface. 
As you approached the rippling plane of water, you could hear your name being called, dampened by the roar of blood rushing in your ears. It came again, louder this time, synchronous with your hand breaking through the water.
Cool air kissed your skin, welcoming you back to life. You thrashed at the surface, coughing up the water you’d taken in when you fell, nearly heaving from the force of it. As you opened your burning eyes, you found that the hand holding yours wasn’t invisible at all, but tangible, as real as your own.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” your mother said, lips unmoving as her words permeated the air. “You’re safe now.”
She looked ethereal, a backdrop of white light painting her like a vision of an angel. For a moment, you were sure that you’d arrived in the afterlife, reunited with your mother at long last. It wasn’t until her hand slipped away and yours hit the hard stone floor you realized you weren’t.
The brilliant light vanished along with her presence, leaving you blanketed in darkness. Desperate to escape the freezing water, you clawed at the jagged stone of the opening, mustering the strength to prop yourself up on your elbows. Your nails dug into your palms as you pushed yourself out of the water, crawling only a few inches before falling onto your back, muscles screaming. The layers of wet clothing clung to your skin, sending a violent chill through your bones, but you didn’t care. All you could focus on was your breathing, the sweet sting of air filling your lungs.
The Force lingered around you as you lay there, fists slowly unfurling as the adrenaline waned. As your fingers relaxed, something rolled out of your palm, hitting the wet stone with a soft clink.
Your eyes shot open at the sound. Scrambling to sit up, you searched for the object in the dim light, but it didn’t take you long.
Beside you was a glowing crystal, pulsing with a heartbeat of its own and humming a soft melody attuned to your ears. You blinked in disbelief as you reached for it, tears blurring your vision.
A blue heart of kyber, calling to you.
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