#last time I went to the beach was...9 years ago I think

[frickingnerd]

leo valdez surprising you for your birthday

pairing: leo valdez x gn!reader

tags: angst with a happy ending, reader crying, your friends/siblings forget your birthday, friends to lovers

a/n: i had planned to post it on my birthday but now y'all get it a bit earlier since– i really didn't post much percy jackson content recently 👀

you had always despised your birthdays

you never had one you could look back to and think about fondly

every time you thought about your birthday, you didn't think about the cake or the present

you just thought about your friends and siblings enjoying themselves together, while you sat at the side and watched them have fun, year after year after year

you wished you could just forget about them. perhaps everyone would just forget about it if you didn't remind them and you would be able to at least have a nice day by yourself

the day drew near and it really seemed like everyone had just forgotten about it

neither your siblings, nor your friends mentioned anything

when the day finally came, nobody came to congratulate you. there was no cake, no presents. they had forgotten about it

and despite you wishing that they would, it absolutely hurt! 

but at least you were free to do as you pleased that day and got the chance to do something nice for yourself

you decided to visit the beach. there shouldn't be anyone there, especially not during spring time

as you made your way through the forest of camp halfblood, you realized that you had forgotten the way to the beach

it had been quite a while since you last went there and it was hard to distinguish the different trees from one another and navigate your way there

you ended up walking through the forest for almost half an hour, until you ended up in front of bunker 9

it wasn't where you intended to go, but you were starting to get tired from all the walking around and decided to take a break inside

there was nobody there when you entered, but you couldn't help but immediately notice the things that stood on the table

a bouquet of flowers, a chocolate cake and a necklace made out of scrap

you quickly realized that you probably weren't supposed to see this or even be here right now, but when you tried to leave the bunker, you bumped into leo

"y/n!" leo seemed surprised to see you. "i– what are you doing here?" 

"oh, i– i was about to leave again! i didn't know you had set things up for a date down here…" you awkwardly rubbed your neck and tried to slip past leo, but he grabbed your wrist as you tried to leave

"no..! this isn't… it's not really for a date, you know…" he stared down at you and you could feel yourself getting lost in his eyes

"it's not..?" your eyes never left his as you spoke

"it's for you..!" he smiled softly and took a step inside the bunker. "your birthday, remember?" 

of course you did. how could you forget your own birthday. but you didn't think anyone else would remember it…

"i sneaked into the kitchen last night to bake the cake. the necklace i made a week ago out of some scrap my cabin had laying around and the flowers i grabbed earlier today" leo told you as he stepped towards the table

"the only thing that was missing, was…" he turned around, ready to say you, but instead he stopped and his smile slipped from his lips

"y/n, why are you crying…?" 

he looked so worried as he approached you, while you quickly tried to wipe away the tears, but more just kept on coming

leo gently cupped your face, wiping away your tears, as he leaned his forehead against yours

"don't cry… not today, okay? i– i'll make you a prettier necklace, okay? and you'll get more flowers, just…"

you sobbed quietly, quickly shaking your head

"it's perfect… i– i love it, alright..?" you smiled through the tears

"it's the best birthday gift i could've asked for…" you were still struggling to hold back your tears as you spoke, your voice cracking

"b-but… i couldn't do more for you. you deserve better than–" 

you weren't going to let leo finish that sentence

you closed the gap between the two of you, pressing your lips together and holding him as close as you could

his lips felt so warm and soft against yours and he tasted like chocolate

you had to break the kiss after a few seconds, to gasp for air and you immediately started to miss his lips on yours

"i…" leo quietly gasped and you could feel the heat rushing into his cheeks

"you've done more than enough for me, leo…" your forehead leaned against his again, your eyes closed "you've made me happier today than i could've imagined" 

"and you didn't even try the cake yet..!" leo joked quietly, causing you to laugh and pull away from him, to wipe the final tears out of your eyes

"i didn't!" you smiled. "though, maybe we can change that now..?"

#leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #pjo #hoo #hoo x reader #pjo x reader #heroes of olympus x reader #heroes of olympus #leo x reader #x reader #headcanons #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #happy ending #angst with a happy ending #x you #x y/n #x gn reader #leo #valdez #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #riordanverse

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Chapter 10

Note: of course there is an October edition for this fic too. Direct follow up to chapter 9 of the Fighter fic! Other Fighter chapters are in my masterlist.

Warnings: 18+. fluff, tiny bit of angst, suggestive.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: your fighter husband became a different man once again.

wordcount: 2,7k

Masterlist

'Fuck those bats!'

You had both just dropped a bomb on each other. You had told Sihtric you were pregnant, while he just told you he signed a three year UFC contract, which he hadn't discussed with you for some reason.

'What?' you and Sihtric said at the exact same time as you stared at each other.

'Honey,' you smiled, 'that's… that's so good-'

'What d-did you just say?' Sihtric stammered.

'I'm-'

'Yeah, I- I heard you, bunny,' Sihtric quietly cut you off, 'h-how?'

'What?' you furrowed your brow, 'I think you know very well how I got pregnant.'

And then, when it all seemed to suddenly dawn on your husband, his hands started to tremble uncontrollably, and he spilled his tea all over the blanket he had spread out for you.

'Honey,' you said and grabbed his cup, putting it to safety before you took his hands, 'breathe, okay?'

'But… but,' Sihtric slowly started to panic, 'we have so much to do? We- we need to move houses, and… and we still need to have that wedding party,' his breathing intensified, 'how… how…'

'Siht,' you took his face in your hands, 'calm down, okay? We don't have to do anything. We don't have to move. You want to move, and sure, I want a… smaller home,' you said, knowing it wasn't going to happen, 'and we don't have to throw a wedding party either. Our ceremony in Hawaii, just you and me, that was enough. We don't have to throw a big party here just because people expect us to. This is about us, okay? About our happiness.'

'O-okay,' Sihtric said, staring at you with wide eyes, 'but are you s-sure you're… you're pregnant?'

'Yes,' you smiled, 'I took like five tests to be sure,' you pecked his lips, 'you're going to be a father.'

'I'm… I'm going to be a father?'

'You are,' you said, 'you're going to be a dad.'

'Really? Me?' Sihtric asked, then started to laugh and pulled you in his arms, 'I… I can't believe this.'

'You really are,' you chuckled as you held him tightly and heard his soft laugh.

'Since when? I mean, surely this is not from a few days ago?'

'No, that's too recent,' you snorted.

You grinned as you remembered how hot and spicy the night had been a few days ago, in the kitchen, when your husband had decided to give you a sudden spanking before bending you over the kitchen counter, after you had teased him all day by sending risky texts when he was at his gym.

'It had to be that last time in Australia, on the beach, the day before we got back home.'

'Ah,' Sihtric chuckled as he still had his face buried in your neck, 'yeah, that was a really nice time.'

'Yeah, the only nice time we had there,' you mumbled.

Sihtric hummed and squeezed you in his arms, a soft chuckle escaped him again and then he went quiet. You enjoyed his silent embrace as you figured he was just taking it all in, until you suddenly heard him sniffle and his shoulders started to shock lightly.

'Honey?' you asked, a little concerned, 'what's wrong?' you pulled away to look at Sihtric, who was suddenly a crying mess on your shoulder and couldn't bring out a word.

'It's okay,' you whispered as you wrapped your arms around him again, 'shh,' you hushed and held him in silence for a while.

'Thinking about your father?' you asked cautiously when he seemed to have calmed down a little.

'Yeah,' Sihtric said and his voice broke, 'I just… I don't want to be like him.'

'And you won't,' you said, 'you will never be anything like your father. You are nothing like him from what you've told me. I mean, except your temper maybe,' you tried to lighten the mood a little, 'but you will be the best father in the world, I swear it.'

You pulled back to cup his cheeks again and wiped his tears.

'I promise,' you whispered and kissed his forehead, 'love, you will be the most amazing father ever. I just know it.'

And as you tried to make Sihtric feel better, he suddenly started to cry even harder.

'Hey, what's the matter? Are you… are you not happy?' 

'No, I am,' Sihtric said in between sobs, 'I just… I never thought I- I'd ever have my own f-family. And I… I signed that stupid contract and I shouldn't have done…'

You had no idea what else he said, as it became inaudible due to his sobbing, so you figured you'd talk about this later, when he had calmed down again.

Turned out that Sihtric felt bad he committed to a three year contract, to fight, without discussing it with you. He just wanted to surprise you after you had urged him to at least do some kind of work again, which he needed and he knew it too. He thought you'd be thrilled to hear life would more or less go back to normal again, without any drama hopefully, even though you weren't a fan of his profession. And you were happy for him and proud of him too. 

But Sihtric felt awful when he realised he would probably have a fight scheduled soon, which meant he'll have to leave your side for at least 6 weeks during your pregnancy. And he suddenly felt like signing that contract had been a curse to him. You told him to take it easy first and see when the next fight would even be scheduled, after you'd figure out the rest. 

And after Sihtric's endless pacing back and forth through the enormous living room, he finally calmed down several hours later. And then he called his friends to tell them the news, and he became a crying mess all over again.

Several weeks later, you and Sihtric went to your first antenatal visit in the hospital. And to your horror, Sihtric had already turned into a full Dadzilla.

'Honey, let me carry your purse,' he said and snatched it out of your hands before wanting to help you to the car.

'Sihtric,' you sighed, 'please. You do realise I am perfectly capable of doing things on my own?'

Sihtric scowled, 'But you have to take it easy. You're pregnant!'

'Christ, Sihtric!' you huffed and grabbed your purse back, 'tell me you are not going to be this overprotective the entire pregnancy?!'

'Oh, I'm just getting started,' he hissed as he walked you to his car.

His Bugatti.

'Oh, no. Absolutely not,' you protested, 'I am not going to the hospital with that car!'

Sihtric stared at you, his jaw clenched, and placed his hands on his hips.

'What do you mean by that?' he asked.

'That I want to go there as a normal person!' you snapped, 'not like some rich bitch who arrives in a dumb ass car like… like that thing!' you gestured at the car.

'First of all,' Sihtric snarled as he stalked over to you, 'you will not talk about her like that!'

'Oh, for fuck sakes,' you rolled your eyes and walked away from him as he continued his rant while he followed you, 'I'll drive my own car,' you said.

'No,' Sihtric grabbed your hand, 'you can't drive!'

'I am perfectly capable of driving my own car!'

'I won't let you drive!' he said, firmly, 'I mean… you're… you're-'

'Pregnant!' you shouted and finished his sentence, 'yes! I know! And how I regret it right now,' you mumbled that last part so Sihtric didn't hear it.

'Fine!' he huffed and took your car keys out of your hands, then muttered under his breath, 'I'll drive that disgrace of a car for you, princess.'

Sihtric opened the door of your old Volkswagen, held your hand for no reason at all as he "helped" you get in, and he was quick to kiss your cheek once you were seated.

'I love you, bunny,' he said before he slammed the car door shut.

Your eyes followed him as he walked over to the driver side, and you were fuming inside.

'Fucking hell,' you groaned, 'it's only been like seven weeks and he's a goddamn nightmare already…' you stopped talking when your husband opened the door on his side.

'I love you too, tiger,' you feigned a sweet smile when Sihtric got seated next to you.

He side-eyed you, and the drive to the hospital was a quiet one.

'Careful,' Sihtric said as he held your hand again while walking you to the hospital entrance.

'Careful of what?' you sighed, 'nothing is happening.'

'Just mind your step, okay?' he said, 'wait.'

'What? Why?' you asked, but Sihtric already ran away.

You impatiently tapped your foot as you had been out of patience for half an hour already, and when your husband returned with a wheelchair, you lost it.

'For the love of god!' you yelled, in front of a crowded hospital entrance, 'there is nothing wrong with my legs, Sihtric! Yes, I am pregnant! But I am fine! I can walk! I can drive! I can carry my own bag! Please, just stop treating me like I am a fragile little doll!'

'But-' Sihtric wanted to speak, but was interrupted when someone came up to him.

'Aren't you that kickboxer?' the guy asked your husband.

'He is!' you snarled, 'and he signed a contract without discussing it with his pregnant wife!'

'I didn't know she was pregnant!' Sihtric yelled in defence at the guy.

'Oh, ehh,' the stranger backed off, 'sorry, I didn't mean to, eh, I'll… just, eh, goodluck?'

'I'll need it!' you and Sihtric both hissed at the same time, and the guy was quick to leave you two alone.

'Get in the wheelchair!' Sihtric ordered you.

'Fucking make me!' you hissed.

Moments later, Sihtric pushed you in the wheelchair into the hospital waiting room. You desperately wanted to dump your husband at the hospital's playground nearby, with the other children. Sihtric was driving you insane, once again. You knew he meant well, but him being overprotective was the last thing you needed right now, as your hormones were all over the place already anyway, causing mood swings so big, they even caught you by surprise. You tried to not get more agitated while you waited for your name to be called, which was tough, but when Sihtric suddenly placed his hand on your belly, which wasn't even showing yet, you softened instantly.

'Look,' you said softly and took his hand, 'honey, I know you mean well, but you are stressing me out with your behaviour.'

'I just want you to be careful,' Sihtric whispered, 'it's… it's not just about you. I'm not just worried about you, I'm also worried about my child. Our child,' he squeezed your hand, 'yes, I have no idea how you feel and what you're going through. But you also don't know how I feel and what I am going through. I'm… I'm scared, okay?' he said and choked up.

'Sweetheart,' you whispered and rested your head against his shoulder, 'you're right. I'm sorry. I didn't consider your feelings, and I'm sorry. But I want you to understand that by being so overly concerned, you're making me feel stressed.'

'Yeah,' Sihtric sighed, 'I understand that too. I didn't think about that either. I'm sorry.'

'And what are you scared of, Siht?'

'I don't know,' he shrugged lightly, 'that something would go wrong, I guess. Either with you or the child. I just worry, I'm sorry. This is everything I've ever wanted and now I'm terrified that something will go wrong and it… that it will be taken away from me.'

'Nothing will be taken away from you,' you looked up at your husband and smiled at him, 'I promise you.'

'I hope you're right. Kiss?' Sihtric asked, to which you pecked his lips, 'I'm sorry, love. I'll try to be more calm about everything.'

'I would like that. And I'm sorry too. I'll try to be more considerate of your feelings too. It's just that my hormones are going nuts. I don't mean to snap at you, I hope you know that too.'

'I do,' he said, then paused for a moment and cupped your cheek, 'still love me?'

'Of course,' you smiled, 'do you still love me?'

'Always,' Sihtric said, then nuzzled your nose, 'always, bunny,' he whispered and kissed your lips.

And when you were finally called in for your appointment, you allowed Sihtric to push the wheelchair you clearly didn't need, if only it was to make him feel better.

You hoped Sihtric would've been more at ease after that first hospital appointment, where he got told that you and the baby were both doing good, and that he had no reason to be so worried and protective. But, even though he said he'd try to be more calm, he was still driving you mad at times. And you were glad when he went to the gym on a sunday afternoon, in October, and you had the mansion all to yourself. And you gathered the Halloween decorations and started to decorate, as you were perfectly capable of doing so.

You took a break, after having decorated the hallway, to make some cinnamon flavoured cookies while having a cup of tea as you enjoyed the silent home. And when the cookies were baking in the oven, you started to decorate the living room. You thoroughly enjoyed the day on your own, without Sihtric checking on you every five minutes, but your peace was abruptly disturbed when Sihtric came home and found you standing on a chair, trying to reach the ceiling to hang up some paper bats. And he thought he was about to have a heart attack..

'What are you doing!?' he yelled from across the living room, scaring the living hell out of you.

'Jesus! What the fuck!' you screamed and lost your balance.

'No!' Sihtric yelped as he ran over, and he caught you just before you could tumble off the chair.

'What is wrong with you!' you yelled at Sihtric once your feet were back on the ground again.

'Me?!' Sihtric shouted, 'what is wrong with you!' he threw his hands up in frustration, 'what- what are you doing! Why are you standing on a chair!?'

'I was hanging up the bats!'

'Fuck those bats!' he spat, 'you almost fell!'

'Because you fucking scared me!' you yelled and gave him a push, 'everything went perfectly fine until you came home, suddenly shouting at me! Fuck you, Sihtric! What were you thinking!'

Sihtric scoffed and raked his fingers through his recently washed hair, 'What did you just say to me?' he breathed, then licked his lips as he somewhat cornered you.

'Did you not hear me?!' you swallowed hard as your eyes darted between his eyes and his lips.

'Oh, I heard you,' he said, chest heaving up and down.

'Well I'll say it again anyway! Fuck you,' you breathed.

'Yeah? Is that it?' Sihtric growled and grabbed your waist, 'is that why you're giving me such an attitude lately? You haven't been fucked properly?'

'I think it's why you have been such a nightmare to be around!' you hissed.

'You forget who the fuck you're talking to, sweetheart,' he said with a threatening stare and bared his teeth.

'And you forget who's carrying your child,' you said as you ran your hand up his thigh.

'You better watch that mouth of yours,' Sihtric whispered, and snuck his hand down your sweatpants, 'because trust me, I will fuck you again, and again, and again. I'll fuck you pregnant every fucking year if you don't watch that tone right now.'

'Really? Because you want to deal with my attitude every fucking year, hm?' you moved your hands up in his hair.

'Yeah, maybe,' Sihtric's breath hitched when you tugged his hair, 'maybe that attitude makes my cock hard,' he chuckled in your ear and pressed his hips against you, 'or maybe I get hard because the whole world knows you're pregnant because I fucked that tight pussy of yours so good.'

'Oh, you think you fucked me good?' you rolled your eyes to provoke him.

And you didn't need to say anything else as your husband pulled your sweatpants down, gently bent you over his couch, and took you good and hard, until you screamed out his name and fucked out each other's frustrations.

And later, Sihtric helped you decorate the rest of the living room after you blamed him for the burned cinnamon cookies, which you had forgotten about while he had his way with you.

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1   @moonchildrenandflowercrowns

#sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #tlk #modern!sihtric

[companionjones]

Touron

Pairing: John B x Reader

Fandom: Outer Banks (Netflix)

Summary: John B meets you at a beach party. Are you a Pogue or a Kook? *spoilers* The title gives it away ;)

Warnings: Cursing, one slight reference to smut

*******

"Alright, you can't understand the Outer Banks without understanding the boneyard. It's kinda like a three-layer burrito. There's us and our friends, the working-class derelicts from the Cut. Then, there are the Kooks, the rich second-homers. They're mostly from pouncy-ass boarding schools, just rich trustafarian posers. Our natural enemies. And then, there are the Tourons. Totally clueless. Here for a week on vacation with their families. Chum for the sharks."

"Hey," you smiled at the first person to look at you at a party you found on the beach. "I'm new around here. Is this party for something?"

John B didn't know what to make of you when he first saw you. He couldn't figure out if you were a Pogue or a Kook. He answered you with a shake of his head. "Nah, nah. We're all just hanging out. Do you, uh...want a beer?"

"Sure, thanks." You took the beer from him and started taking in your surroundings. You realized there was no one there you could talk to.

"What's your name?" John B suddenly asked.

You gave your name, and John B gave his full name in return.

"Well Y/n, you seem a little lost. You want to hang with me for a bit?"

Relief flooded your features. "That would be great. Thank you."

John B smiled. "No problem. Where on the island are you coming from?"

"The corner of Mankhurst and Shelley."

John B made note of that. That part of town was nicer, but it was still technically part of the Cut. He just hadn't known that the Bartons were selling their place.

So, you were a Pogue. It gave John B peace that he could put you into one of the categories. It comforted him even more that the category was his own.

After John B figured that out, he was much more at ease around you. Or maybe it was your conversation skills causing him to feel that way? Either way, John B talked to you for a couple hours. He loved getting to know you. He learned where you were born, what kind of music you listened to, even your favorite color.

John B also got to telling you about his life. "Yeah, my dad set out to look for a shipwreck 9 months ago, and that was the last time I saw him. I know he's still out there, though. He'll find his way back home eventually."

You just sat there, listening intently.

He went on, "And now CPS is on my tail. They say I have to go into foster care if I can't prove I have a guardian."

"Man, that really sucks," you replied, "I wish I turned tail and ran the first time CPS found me," you revealed, taking another sip of your drink.

That took John B off guard. "Wait. You were in the system?"

"I am in the system. My foster family think they're being nice by inviting me on this trip, but I know it's just because they can't find someone to watch me for two weeks."

John B was still catching up. "Two weeks...but that would make you a..."

"Tourist, I know that."

He cringed. "Well, that's not exactly what we'd call you here..."

"And what would that be?" you wondered.

John B leaned away from you in anticipation of your reaction. "...A tour-on."

Your eyes went wide. "As in, moron?!"

John be started laughing as he nodded.

"Oh my god! You people are mean around here," you pointed out.

"Well, what if I said it doesn't apply to you?" John B offered.

"Still mean...but I'll take it." You took another sip.

John B changed the subject. "So, you're in the system?"

"Have been since I was 11. I'm 16 now."

"Damn, for five years? Is it really as bad as some people say it is?"

You sighed, "Well, they take you away from your home, make you live in places that shouldn't be homes, and you're moving around all the time...," you trailed off, looking at the ocean.

John B apologized, "I'm sorry to bring it up--"

"No, no. It's okay. I'm sorry you're being threatened with it," you returned. "The family I'm with now isn't so bad. I mean, they're not good either, but they don't really care if I go out on my own, which is a plus...and a minus, I guess..."

"...So they wouldn't care if you didn't come home tonight?"

You laughed, "They wouldn't care if I didn't show up 'til they were pulling out of town."

"You should come stay with me, then," John B offered, and only then did he realize the implication of his request. "I mean, not like that. I mean, unless you want it to be like that, in which case, I wouldn't be opposed to--"

"Just stop talking, before you dig your hole any deeper." You smiled, "But sure, I'll come stay with you. Maybe that way this vacation will actually be a vacation." You offered a toast to John B, almost like a handshake to seal the agreement between you two.

John B lightly tapped his red solo cup against yours, and the two of you took a drink.

*******

Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

#john b #john b x reader #john b routledge #john b routledge x reader #outer banks #obx #outer banks netflix #obx netflix #chase stokes #companion jones #touron

[loveyourownsmiilee]

Is there anyway you can put everything relating to buck getting into a coma into one post because I haven’t heard about this

Ok so basically you prob haven’t heard of this bc I’m the only one who has been talking about this lol. It all started when Ryan posted that fucking thirst trap on 9/29/22. I was wondering why he would post it and caption it season 6 vs season 3 (he posted the pic and then one from the fighting ep in s3). So I was looking at the photo and it came to me that the reason he posted it with his arm tattoo covered must mean it was for the show.

So I made this post initially bc I was just analyzing reasons as to why he would post that.

Then I answered an ask on why I think Ryan working hard on his physique and showing it off for the show is important. Like why does a 30-something year old single dad need to look that ripped for the show? Unless…unless that body is a part of someone else’s fantasy. Someone who may or may not be unconscious and in a possible coma.

The fact that they were filming at the beach 2 weeks ago was very weird to me bc we had a bts of Kenny and Aisha with the ambulance. Ryan posted photos confirming he was at the beach during sunset.

And then we got a confirmation Oliver was there bc they posted a pic of Buck in his jeep driving away from the beach. There was also a video in which Gavin (Chris) was seen with a surfboard so we know Eddie, Chris, and possibly Buck were all at the beach. All this is supposed to be happening in ep 6.07 “Cursed”.

Then we got confirmation that there’s a famous singer, who based off bts is named Felisa, will be on that episode. This is a singer in which “Eddie gets involved with” during an emergency. Not romantically of course but these were words Peter Krause chose when explaining upcoming wacky emergencies.

Now I was speaking to @ktinastrikesback one evening and we were trying to make sense of everything we’ve seen so far. I answered an ask with our half baked speculation. Then I went back and made an actual post expanding on how I thought the episode would actually turn out.

It is also very important to note the lack of Oliver filming with everyone else. Yesterday he spent the majority of the day at home. We know this bc of his IG behavior all day long. We got bts that Peter, Aisha, and Kenny were on set in their uniform. So we know they’re filming a call. Could be a medical call where Buck and Eddie aren’t needed but still. The girl who plays the singer was also filming and she was injured in the morning.

Then Cocoa Brown reappeared and she was on set to film in the afternoon. Again Oliver was believed to be home. Cocoa posted a bts with herself and Ryan at the end of the evening. I made a post on my speculation as to how it seems suspicious that everyone happened to be filming yesterday while Oliver was no where to be spotted. Usually when he’s on set, someone posts him some how, some way. It’s also important to note that the last time there was this much secrecy about bts was when they were filming 4.13 & 4.14 which is why there was a lack of Ryan in any bts.

So I made a post on her return and what it can mean for Eddie and possibly Buck. I’ve also answered a few asks about the possibility of Buck being in a coma. In this ask I explain why the moment they changed the title on 6.08 to “9-1-1 What’s Your Fantasy?” I speculated a fantasy dream sequence was a possibility. And in this ask I expand a bit on why I would want to see Buck in a coma.

Basically, to sum everything up, I don’t know what exact route they’d go but ideally here is why I believe we may get a coma!Buck.

We know in 6.04, Buck may possibly get hit by a car when he takes the bicycle and goes after the drunk driver. The way it’s been promoted and teased screams that’s what they want us to believe when in reality he’s gonna be fine. Now I think that’s a massive foreshadowing for what’s to come later on in the season.

It makes sense if he gets away scratch free in 6.04 when he’s being a reckless and selfless idiot, only to get injured severely in an episode called “Cursed” when he wasn’t doing anything to put himself in any danger. I think him getting injured in 6.07, thus leading up to 6.08 “9-1-1 Whats Your Fantasy?” makes a lot of sense. He’s on this journey of self discovery and happiness. He needs to figure out who he is outside of his job. He needs to figure out who makes him happy and with whom he is most at ease.

Now if this serious injury occurs and he’s in a coma, I can see this fantasy sequence being his utmost desires. Possibly seeing how happy he is when he’s with the Diaz boys and maybe even realizing how attracted to Eddie he is, hence the shirtless sexy moment of Eddie’s ripped bod. I think this injury has the potential to be a massive wake up call for both himself and Eddie. I can only imagine how beside himself Eddie will be knowing his partner got injured when he wasn’t even trying to be expendable. And I think it’ll serve his whole journey some purpose to have him wake up and realize that he is at ease when he’s with Eddie. I want him to have his little “Oh, it’s you. It’s always been you” moment. I want him to realize he has a family and people who care for him deeply. Now idk if I’m onto something or so far away from what actually is in the plans for this half of the season. But these are all my thoughts on why I think Buck can possibly be in a coma this season.

#juju answers #anon asks #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 speculation #jujus having thoughts #look I may be completely off base which is totally fine #plz don’t come for me if this seems too crazy for you #this is just where my brain went and I think it’s a possibility #we shall see #also I should be packing but here I am

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Last Twilight had the worst ending...

I know, this is old news and the series ended a week ago BUT I have exams coming up, so this post got delayed. Anyway, here's my opinion about this ending after reading a bunch of MDL reviews, all saying the same: The way Last Twilight ends is insulting.

This series totally missed the point, the ball didn't even look at the goal and went the other way. They messed this up so badly, I'm mad. I can't even laugh about it 'cause it was such a great series. Episode 9 made me weep ... and then came everything else.

We spend time with Mhok and Day, forming a bond though they seemingly have nothing in common. Day is very self-centered and wants to be pampered but Mhok doesn't go all the way. He's his caregiver but he draws lines. There's a problem rising in the background: Mhok is too nice. He never calls Day out for crossing the line, he talks his way around it, he makes sure Day still feels warm in is heart. Mhok is the kind of person who desperatly needs people around him and he keeps them close no matter what, so sometimes, he's misunderstood or overshadowed. I hoped for some kind of conflict about Day taking but rarely giving. There's only one scene where we can see a glimpse of it. It's just one line and 10 seconds and the series goes on as if Mhok didn't say anything, as if it was a joke but it was so much more and I wished for a conflict like this but it never really came.

"Day, I think you can be so inappropriate sometimes."

It's what Mhok says in episode 8 when they wake up at the beach after partying all night. I felt his line, I sat here like "exactly, tell him!" But sadly we won't get to know more about this. Every conflict, every scene and every little action is about Day. It's so much about Day that Mhok doesn't get to say honest feelings like that even if those are negative. Because yes, Day is inconsiderate. We follow his struggles after turning blind. Even after a year, he didn't get used to it and he projects his lack of self esteem on other people, trying to find something others like about him, so he could learn to like himself as well. And Mhok gives it to him because Mhok gladly makes him feel at ease and Mhok is a people pleaser. They both have their own journey and arc but I feel like their relationship is unbalanced. Throughout this entire run, I felt like these two needed to get rid of this inbalance in order to be able to move forward. The conflict is inevitable BUT the thing is, they didn't go through with it.

The inbalance is the reason for their conflict but it's not solved or named. Mhok gets the job offer abroad and declines. It's his decision and I'm very sure he didn't make that decision entirely about Day. Leaving the country is not something one instantly does and I understand why he doesn't want to go. Yes, he doesn't have many people holding him in Thailand but leaving is still hard and not an easy decision. I get that. Plus Mhok and Day are adults, they are in their twenties, they are no children. While Mhok actually behaves like he thinks about many factors before making a decision and is careful about his next step and what it would mean, Day just makes everything about him and his blindness. Yes, Mhok is probably staying because of Day. No, he's not staying because Day is blind. That's why their relationship started, because Mhok didn't see Day in a different light, because Mhok doesn't care if he's blind or not. I am so frustrated thinking about it lmao

Well...I hate their breakup since they are not properly addressing the real issue. Day says he's holding Mhok back and Mhok says he's afraid of losing people which Day chooses to ignore. Mhok's story starts the day his sister dies...Day knows Mhok doesn't have a family, yet it's about Day's blindness??? It's so inconsiderate that it's insulting Mhok's entire personality.

This series refuses to let the characters work on their relationship together because of this stupid "cursed 11th episode" thing. Mhok and Day are insecure when it comes to the other but they could go on the journey together and see the world in a brighter light. But no, Mhok cries on his own while Day had two people hugging him and nobody cares where Mhok went - not even Night. I was so disappoited how this all turned out.

The breakup is not even the worst, it's what comes in episode 12 that really made me angry. What do you mean, three years have passed? Mhok and Day never tried to talk it out? Mhok never reached out? Mhok thanks Day for the break up? Where am I? What is this? I'm crying internally.

Anyway, we see Mhok coming back for the wedding and as soon as he sees Day, he randomly starts hitting on him...? First of all, the way they talk to each other lets me assume they have stayed in contact or reached a mutual understanding, so why have they not talked it out? They seemingly haven't been talking about their conflict at all but why are they so friendly? Shouldn't they be mad at each other or not talk at least? Instead we see an extremely happy Day and an inappropriatly flirty Mhok. Their personalities seem to have been thrown out of the window and we get too many scenes of Day saying he's uncomfortable and Mhok pushing himself into Day's space. It's aweful. The wedding was sadly very uninteresting, I skipped the speaches and I certainly skipped that weird dancing scene. What was all of this for?

And then, they get to talk. Mhok apologizes and Day is finally a grown-up. I understand where both of them are coming from but that little talk didn't go anywhere. Their conflict still hasn't been resolved. After another forever they hug it out and happy end. Well, okay. I guess Mhok realized he put Day before everything which he shouldn't have done and Day was too selfish to see Mhok suffer. It's fine for me, not the best way to show us their growth by inserting a three year time jump. I'm still not sure in what way they have grown or how much they each overcame their issues. It's very lazily written.

But then they hit us with THE worst ten minutes I have ever seen.

Day gets his eyesight back.

I'm sorry, what was the point? Did the writers change? Did they have amnesia? This is not what the series was about, is it? We see Day starting to accept himself though the struggle never really stops. But still, he owns a book store, he went to university, he goes outside and is not too shy to ask for help. He doesn't overthink what people may whisper about him when he walks around or eats outside. He is much more confident and shines from the inside. He's not insecure any more. This series showed us his journey of learning to live with a disability.

And then this disability is healed and his life is shown as much better than before. What a message.

It's so insulting.

And the last scene made it so much worse. They look at the sunset where Day lost his eyesight (and "turned into stone" (I cried so much)) and he has the audacity to make fun of Mhok's "do you still think I pity you." I was so pissed, that line meant so much to them both back then and now it's made fun of? Never make fun of moments when you were at your lowest, Day. I love Mhok's face because he's going through it. He smiles it away but he's a bit awkward lmoa

But seriously, what an ending. It's so bad... The show is just great but the last episode is so low and lazy.

#last twilight #mhok x day #what a journey

[imdonnalynn]

A little bit about me…

Far as online is concerned, I would be recognized as a fanfiction writer. I started writing fan fiction 23 years ago on fanfiction.net. The first work posted online was Party with the Old Fly-Boys, fandom was JAG and the ship was Harm/Mac, that was September of 2000. And it went from there… Over time, I wrote 100 pieces of work for 26 fandoms ranging from books, television and movies and 27 different ships’. Since, my works have been purged (found only on my inactive LiveJournal) because they no longer reflect me as a writer. For years I’ve been trying to get back on the saddle, but my muse only goes as far as the ideas. Soon as I try to transcribe to paper or type it, I draw a major blank. Writer’s block for the last several years has been disheartening. I still try, leaving things in my drafts and such but I usually just end up deleting it all and starting completely over. Amazing how one can feel like they’re on top of the moon writing to not being able to muster even a drabble.

Outside of writing? I’m a full-time mom to 2 autistic sons. Wife to a marine veteran, Semper Fi and thank a veteran or active member for their service they will appreciate it. And to top that already full plate I am a full-time daughter to my mothers. If I’m not taking care of something to do with them then I’m dealing with the horde of animals, we have. 9 dogs and 20-something cats we have strays coming in all the time. I basically run a rescue all on my own and with my own money (but not a legit rescue just FEELS like I’m running a rescue).

What do I love?

Yellowstone (with all the strikes over I'm hoping Kevin Costner will now have time to film and they can continue the rest of season 5 without feeling rushed.) 1923 (can’t wait for season 2, I’m beginning to lean toward Spencer and Alex being the grandparents of John Dutton III) Outlander (season 7 so far has been the best season since season 1 and 2) Reacher (so far season 2 is really good!) The Terminal List (even with the shocking season 1 ending I’m looking forward to what’s next) The Good Doctor (I don’t mingle with the community much because autism is a triggering topic for me) The Boys (definitely morbid and raunchy but if something doesn't change this season I don't think I'll continue with it) Stranger Things (CAN'T WAIT FOR SEASON 5!) Marvel Cinematic Universe (I am an expert at MCU, come at me) Top Gun: Maverick (very, very, very, very good sequel, Top Gun is still in my top 3 movies of all time) John Wick (films/series) (these movies were more complex than people gave them credit for) Mission Impossible (films) (this saga of films has been going on for over 27 years, go Cruise!) Underworld (films) (could have been so much better but there are some I love) True Crime Documentaries (as I’ve gotten older these shows appeal to me more) Paranormal (yes, I believe in the paranormal, wholeheartedly) Vampires (I’m in love with vampires, don’t like it, fuck off) Weather (used to be terrified of storms as a little girl but once I became a teenager I fell in love, I have even storm chased) Nature (I love nature, being in the mountains, beaches, wherever we should respect our world) Animals (I love animals more than people, I love human beings but I’m really sick of people)

Who do I love?

Beth Dutton from Yellowstone is my spirit animal. I relate to her in so many ways, like her no bullshit attitude and utter dying devotion to family. Where we differ, I don’t smoke cigarettes, I don’t drink alcohol anymore, and I would LOVE to own Yellowstone Dutton Ranch GLADLY. She hates it and would have no qualm selling it once her father passes but while he is alive, she will defend it to her last breath. Beth doesn’t let anyone scare her, she won’t let anyone get that satisfaction from her ever again since her mother died and since she lost the ability to have children.

Why did I write and post this?

I managed to actually write it out fairly quick, so you damn right I’m posting it! May not be a story but its about me so I guess in a way it is a story.

Requests and Asks welcome!

#fanfiction #fanfiction writer #yellowstone #yellowstone tv #1923 #1923 series #outlander #reacher #the terminal list #the good doctor #the boys #stranger things #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #marvel mcu #top gun maverick #john wick #mission impossible #underworld films #true crime documentaries #paranormal #vampires #nature #weather #animals #underworld vampires #imdonnalynn about me #imdonnalynn

[slipperygaloshes]

Thank you to @jmflowers for infusing my day with some positivity. Here’s my attempt at your gratitude challenge.

10 things I’m grateful for and/or proud of myself for accomplishing since the start of 2023:

1. I recently spent a whole weekend with my family, celebrating my grandmother’s 93rd (!!!) birthday. Learned a lot about family members I never had a chance to meet and my grandmother was really happy all weekend and I was happy to be there with her. I was also v proud of myself for attending day 3 without my nuclear family, and for forcing myself to drive in the rain. I don’t love driving but the only way to get better at it is to do it, and I think the same is probably true of making conversation. So there’s a twofer of gratitude and pride.

2. I am grateful as hell to have the dog I didn’t want five years ago by my side. He makes life brighter. He had a difficult start before landing with us, but is such a good, smart boy and I’m very proud of him. I’m forcing myself to take him on a daily walk when I get home from work and he’s slowly becoming more adventurous/less anxious, and a better walker to boot. We’re getting further every day. And we’re also working very hard to not freak out when a dog or squirrel passes by the house.

3. I’m grateful to live where I do, even if I wish I lived separate from my family at nearly all times. There is an enriching city and many relaxing beaches in close proximity, and all different sorts of people to meet and know. I’m really lucky my ancestors stopped moving around where they did.

4. I’ve read about six books this year thanks to my new NYPL digital library card. This is not a very impressive stat, especially for a former English major, but I lost my drive for reading for a long time, so it’s meaningful to me.

5. Recently did a big clean out of the mountains of miscellaneous paperwork six people accumulate over the years. We didn’t need about 2/3 of it, so that was satisfying to see. I also got rid of a ton of Christmas crap and other random things we no longer have need for. I’m a fan of spring cleaning, I think! Debating tackling the catch-alls that are the laundry room and/or garage this weekend.

6. I am actively trying to make plans with people and be a more active participant in life lately. Not sure if this is a consequence of more sun in my life or what but I’m trying to keep the momentum going and hopefully by the time it gets dark again, I’m in a good habit. Usually, I just do things alone these days because all of my friends moved out together about an hour away and I just don’t want to coordinate schedules/budgets/etc. But had a good time the last weekend we went out, so I’m trying to be more inviting.

7. Speaking of that, I had fun exploring a new place recently, living almost completely in the moment (a rarity for me), and along the way discovered that I enjoy an aperol spritz. I think one of my friends had it in mind as like a birthday activity for me, but everyone was super respectful of my wish for a quiet/low key birthday, and the day was all the better for it. My boss and my family were also good about it, so I’m grateful for that.

8. I’ve been working to reframe some of my negative thoughts recently. I like to playfully call it “gaslighting myself into mental wellness”, but in all seriousness, I do think it has helped me to retool my brain so I’m thinking a little differently and having healthier reactions to things beyond my control. So there’s something to be proud of.

9. I’m grateful to love and be loved. I don’t know a better feeling in the world and I am really lucky to have some great people in my life. I’m grateful for this opportunity to reflect on that.

10. This is a pre-pride, really, but it’s going to be my biggest accomplishment of this year, and possibly of the next few years, and I want to shout it from the rooftops but I’m too shy for that, so I’m sharing it here. I will make my final payment on my private student loan in September and be private debt free in October. This has been years of working a survival job, living with my parents, and missing out on exciting opportunities in the making, but soon I will be able to live more freely and do more of what I want to do rather than what I have to do. I’ve decided I’m going to go to Mexico to celebrate.

#personal #gratitude challenge #this was a challenge but I was glad to have the opportunity to reflect

[lovemesomesurveys]

What did you eat for lunch today? My leftover lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop. 

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? By a beach for sure. 

Have you watched any good horror/thriller movies lately? I watched X a few weeks ago and I thought it was good. I want to watch the prequel now, Pearl. 

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I honestly would be too afraid to go alone. I wouldn’t feel safe or comfortable. I’d love to travel abroad if I could take someone with me, though. 

What was the last thing you watched on TV? I have Everybody Loves Raymond on in the background. 

Do you know your blood type? Yes. 

Yesterday, did you get up before 9am? I usually get up at 6 or 7. I sometimes go back to sleep until like 9 or 10, though. Every once in awhile I’ll actually sleep in until then. 

How many times does the number ‘7’ occur in your phone number? It doesn’t. 

What was your favorite board game as a child? Trouble, Sorry, and Chutes and Ladders. 

Are you a coffee drinker? Yeppp. 

When are you going on vacation again? I don’t have any plans as of now. It’ll be awhile before I can go anywhere. 

Who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? A group of friends several years ago. 

What are you going to do after this? I’ll be getting ready for bed. 

Who was the last person you were under the covers with? Just me.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yeah.

What did you do today? I first got up around 7, but I went back to bed until a little after 10. After I got up, I took a couple of my morning meds and then a little bit later my mom gave me the rest of my meds and one of my shakes via the feeding tube. Then I ate breakfast and had my coffee while catching up on social media and checking TikTok. Then the rest of the day I scrolled through Tumblr, watched TV, had lunch, did some reading, rested, and had dinner.

How is your hair? It’s ugly right now. It’s still short from when I chopped all my hair a couple summers ago and has no style to it. I really want it to grow more and dye it red again. 

Do you like to cuddle? I really haven’t had much cuddling experience to be honest. I probably wouldn’t be able to cuddle long cause I’d get too hot haha. 

Name something great that happened today? I’m trying to get back into my reading groove again and did a decent amount of reading today. Ooh, and my mom bought me more Reese’s lol. 

How many different people of the opposite sex have you really cried over? A few. 

When was the last time you saw your father? Like twenty minutes ago.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? No.

Do you like your life as of now? It needs a lot of work.

Who was the last person you hung out one-on-one with? My mom.

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant? I’d be really freaked out and confused to say the very least because I don’t know how that would happen being I’m a virgin and I can’t get pregnant.

Last thing you drank? Coffee.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated? I tend to make everything complicated. 

Could you go a day without eating? I have sometimes back when I was having eating and appetite issues. There were days I didn’t eat much, which wasn’t good either. It led to a lot of problems and needing a feeding tube, so there’s that. I can’t go a day anymore without eating. 

Ever kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? No.

Where did your last kiss take place? I don’t remember, it was so long ago.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? I met this band called Honor Society several years ago when I saw the Jonas Brothers. I’m pretty sure they’re not together anymore.

Do you use online banking? Do you have an app on your phone? Yes.

How old were you when you started buying your own clothes? I think in middle school I did sometimes. My freshman year is when I started doing more shopping, though. It was cool because my dad worked at the mall and I sometimes went to work with him on the weekends and got to hang out there for hours. It was really cool when we got there before the mall even opened because I was able to go shopping right when stores opened and I’d pretty much have the mall to myself for a bit. 

Who does most of the chores in your house? My mom. 

What is your least favourite household chore? I’m not particularly fond of any chores. 

What was your first job? Did you like it? I’ve never had a job. 

What was the last food you were craving? Did you get some? Wingstop and yes I had it for dinner yesterday and my leftovers for lunch today. 

Has anyone ever seen you naked? Yes. 

How do you get around? Car, bike, public transport? Well, since being home from the hospital I’ve been using a transport service to go places because I’m taken on a gurney. It’ll be that way until near the end of the year. 

How often do you see your parents? Everyday, we live together. 

Do you own your cell phone or is it on a plan? I’m on a family plan. 

Where do you get most of your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic. 

Do you remember how old you were when you first started using computers? When I was in kindergarten we played educational games on them. My family got our first computer when I was 9. 

What is the first video game you remember playing? Super Mario World. 

Have you ever dated a Josh? No.

Does your family do reunion gatherings? We’ve done several, but it’s been several years since our last one. We did that a lot when I was growing up.

What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A soda. 

How old were you when you started to wear a bra, if ever? I was in 7th grade. 

Do you have any long-lost loves? No. When was the last time you had a first kiss? Uh, I had my very first kiss when I was 16.

How many homes have you ever lived in? Two. 

When was the last time you moved? 11 years ago.

Have you ever donated money to charity? Yes.

What’s your favourite type of exercise? None.

How many jobs have you had? Zero.

When was the last time you dined at your favourite restaurant? I don’t have a favorite restaurant. 

What do you keep in your bedside table? Well, I have two. One has 3 drawers and I keep miscellaneous stuff in those and on top is my lotions and body sprays. I also have a TV tray that’s closer to me that I have my drinks and some snacks on. I also have a few scrunchies and a pack of rubber bands on it right now. 

Have you ever given your number to someone? Yeah.

Do you have an ensuite bathroom? No.

What shoes do you wear the most? I actually haven’t worn any shoes in several months since I was in the hospital and then even since I’ve been home. When I go to my doctor appointments I’m taken on a gurney and just wear socks cause who cares. Anyway, before all that I always wore my black Adidas. 

How old were you when you learned how to drive? I haven’t. 

Have you ever been to a baby shower? What was the baby's name? I’ve been to a few. 

What mode of transport did you take to high school? My mom usually took me, but once in awhile my dad or aunt did. 

Name a personality trait of yours that you like. I’m understanding. 

Name something about your physical attraction that you dislike. Ugh, everything. I’m a real mess right now and extra self-conscious. 

What's in your purse right now? I don’t have one currently.

Do you vote in your country's elections? Yes.

What was your first kiss like? It was awkward, but I was just all giddy about having had my first kiss lol. 

Shuffle your music and skip twice. What song is playing? Nah. 

Have you ever been a freelancer? Nope.

What mood were you in when you woke up today? Tired.

What storey is your bedroom on? I live in a one-story house. 

What gifts do you usually receive at Easter? Usually gift cards, something else like a shirt or stuffed animal, and candy.

Do you use a planner to keep track of your life? I use my notes and calendar apps to keep track of some things. 

Who was the last person you sent an email to? I have no idea, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve sent an email. 

Are there any posters in your bedroom? Yes.

What was your favourite fairytale as a kid? Does Alice in Wonderland count?

Is there anything in your freezer that you really need to get rid of? *shrug*

Have you ever played Second Life? No.

What do you like about the town or city you live in? Only that my family is here, otherwise my city is awful. 

What do you dislike about the town or city you live in? It’s not the best or safest place to live. 

Are your parents good cooks? Yes. 

What's the first thing you notice about a person? I honestly don’t really know. 

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? I’ve never been. What is your favourite museum? I don’t have a particular favorite, but I enjoy going to historical museums. Although, I think if I ever went to the Smithsonian it would become my favorite. It sounds so cool.

Do you know anyone who is an actor? No.

Have your wisdom teeth come through yet? I got them taken out when I was a teenager. 

How many weddings have you been to? Three. 

Do you watch Youtube? What channels do you like? Yes, I watch a lot of YouTube.

What's your alcohol of choice? None.

Have you ever used a public pay phone? I have. 

Which one item would you save from your burning house? Gah, that would be so hard to just grab one thing. I’d of course want to grab many things like my phone, laptop, and some other things, but if I could only grab one I’d have to grab my meds. I’m grouping them as one thing cause they’re all together in this little tub thing that I could just quickly grab. There’s also medical supplies I’d really need cause they’re not stuff I can buy at the store. 

Do you have a Twitter account? I do.

What is your hair like right now? Like an ugly mess. 

How do you like your eggs cooked? Over-easy, scrambled, hard boiled, deviled. 

What's the longest you've been without showering? The 3 months I was in the hospital. I only could have bed baths. 

Name one of your guilty pleasure songs. I don’t have one.

Have you ever made an item of clothing? Nope.

What was the most expensive bill you paid within the last month? My credit card bills are kinda high. :/

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[survey--s]

682.

1 - When you wake up, do you get up straight away or do you lie around in bed for a while?  I remember making this survey years ago, lol. Anyway, it depends. I set my alarm for when I need to be up but if I wake up before then I'll lay around and doze or read my phone. At weekends I often get up, feed the animals, make a coffee and go back to bed for an hour.

2 - Who was the last person you video-called with? Have you done this more often since COVID hit?  My mum, and yes, most definitely.

3 - How many times a week do you go out for food or drink?  Less than once a week as eating out is just so expensive and is often really disappointing imo. We tend to go maybe every 6-8 weeks but we do get takeaway more often.

4 - Do you prefer getting takeaway or actually sitting in a restaurant and eating your meal there?  I prefer going out for lunch or breakfast and then getting a takeaway for an evening meal.

5 - Where’s your favourite place to get takeaway coffee (or whatever your drink of choice is)?  If I had one nearby then I'd go to Starbucks but the nearest is like, a half hour drive and I'm not that desperate. I tend to go to the local coffee/ice-cream place near the beach.

6 - Do you tend to keep your phone on silent, vibrate or loud?  Silent at night or at home, loud at work.

7 - If you have pets, when was the last time one of them annoyed you? What happened?  Archie when he came home from his walk and straight to the litter trays - yes, he is gross and yes, they'd been emptied, he was just being an opportunist lol.

8 - When was the last time you went into a bookshop?  Uh, about August I think? We don't have one anywhere near us.

9 - What was the last thing you ordered off Amazon?  Cat food and dog treats.

10 - When was the last time you took a dog out for a walk? Is this your own dog or did you borrow someone else’s?  Friday and they were someone else's dogs. Oakley and Ollie are my last walk of the week and they're so great to take out. Super obedient, excellent recall and very friendly.

11 - What jewellery do you have on at the moment?  My piercings and my wedding and engagement rings.

12 - Do you have any products in your hair right now? What are they?  No.

13 - Have you ever used a VPN to access foreign content online?  Yeah, mostly just to watch US TV shows for free.

14 - Who was the last artist you listened to? Is this someone you’re a fan of? Bishop Gunn and yeah, they're okay.

15 - What was the last thing you had to drink?  Tea, which is really unusual for me.

16 - When was the last time you cooked something for the first time? Did it work out the way it was supposed to?  I honestly have no idea. I never really cook anything.

17 - Black cats are considered to be bad luck - is this a superstition that you’ve ever believed in?  Nope. Two of our cats are black cats.

18 - Would you ever eat blue cheese or do you find the idea of eating mould to be pretty repulsive?  I love blue cheese. We have loads in the fridge right now, lol.

19 - Do you visit the dentist every six months like you should? I go once a year as it's covered for free under my dental plan.

20 - How old were you when you first used the internet? Was it dial-up or did you have access to proper broadband?  I think I was about ten or so. Broadband didn't exist in homes back then so it was dial-up or nothing.

21 - Are you old enough to remember using floppy discs? Yeah, I had loads of games that ran off floppy discs lol.

22 - When was the last time you purchased an actual DVD or CD?  I bought some DVD's a few months ago but I haven't bought a CD for years - probably over a decade tbh.

23 - Do you shave? Which body parts and how often?  Yeah, legs, pits and bits, and everyday.

24 - What’s your favourite season, and what are some of your favourite things about that season?  Autumn - the colours, the weather, the atmosphere.

25 - When was the last time you burned yourself?  Yesterday, I think?

26 - Have you ever been the victim of a theft or robbery? What was stolen? Did the police ever catch the person who did it? Yeah, I was pick-pocketed in France (luckily they didn't take much and I never reported it). My parents have had their car/house broken in to a couple of times - my rollerblades were stolen once. The second time they stole my mum's handbag and the car off the drive.

27 - What was the last TV show you discovered that you really liked? What was it that got you to watch it in the first place? I haven't started a new TV show in months. I did like Young Sheldon for a bit but I got bored after the first few seasons.

28 - Have you seen any of the live-action Disney remakes? Which one is your favourite? What about your least favourite?  Yeah, all of them. I like Mulan and Alice in Wonderland and I LOVED the first Maleficent. Hated The Lion King and Aladdin. Little Mermaid and Jungle Book were good too. Lady and the Tramp was meh, so was Cruella.

29 - Do you have any exciting plans for tomorrow? If not, how are you planning to spend your day?  Just work. I'll be up at half seven to feed the animals, then it's breakfast and get myself ready. I leave at half eight - then it's off to my final visit with Charley (cat) before I walk Sparky. Then it's two group walks before I pick Archie up and take him out with Ollie for the last walk of the day. Then back home, feed the animals again, shower and chill.

30 - Would you ever keep a working dog as a pet? Do you think it’s fair to keep dogs like huskies in flats when it’s so different to their natural environments? I have a beagle in a small house - I don't think your home environment really matters as long as you have the time and energy to give them the exercise and enrichment they need.

#survey #surveys

[ayamisc]

IT'S BEEN A YEAR!

(c) Takeuchi Naoko (Sailor Moon)

And so many things have happened.

And somehow, after all the roller coaster, I managed to be updated with my fandoms.... Jpop, Jdorama, Kpop, Kdrama, and Anime :D :D :D

Hmmm, let's see..... In the last summer...

April.. was beach month. I didn't swim nor did I get a tan. I kinda just walked around, really. But it was fun. I also went to a.. sorta zoo. Soooo, April was more of a.... being one with nature thing.

May.. was my rest day. I must've watched.... 9 kdramas this summer, 2 japanese movies, and got my music library updated with Kpop, Jpop, and English songs too. haha.

June.. was my adventure month. I went to the mountains for a conference during the first week. Then for the 2nd week, I went abroad for 2 weeks, and I got back 2 weeks ago. I got to see my dad, whom I haven't seen in a year and a half. And I also got to visit my high school, which I haven't been in for 7 years now.

And now, it's July. And medschool just started again.... and... I'll most likely disappear from the livejournal world again. Haha. The only reason I'm online now is because the monsoon rains have began.. and due to the typhoon's pull... it's raining really hard right now and all classes have been suspended for the next 2 days. (You think that's lucky... but it's NOT. Because that means more makeup classes. Uuuugh.)

But, I'll try to manage my time properly this time so I could still be updated with my precious fandoms from time to time. :D :D :D

And so, just letting you guys know I'm still alive and kicking! haha.

Ja ne~

PS. This blog was originally posted on LiveJournal—

#student life #med school #life update #blogging #livejournal

[returntosaturn271995]

Monday, July 31st: Sweep your floor

Today I experienced a problem that is also a gift...but still a problem. 

But in a gifty kind of way. 

Before I had my interview this morning with Power Digital (I got to the second round!) and got around to answering emails (got to the second round for MSL marketing as well), I decided today I was going to continue wanting to use the Nike Running app. After all, it got me to run 55 minutes last week. For those of you reading this (literally just me), that’s about an hour more than I usually run.

The interview ended. The coffee had me buzzing, I drank my collagen and applied my sunscreen and deodorant and my key lime sports bra and my giant headphones. I tied my Asics and put on Greta Van Fleet. 

And did one of the apps bonus easy runs: 7 minutes. A mile if you are decent at miles. I’m not yet decent but not indecent anymore. 

Low key? I felt bad, like I wasn’t adding to my progress. Which is crazy because a short run is still a run. It still completely counts, especially because it’s part of my daily walk to the beach and back so it’s not like I didn’t cover ground after that. I went faster than usual, bringing up my embarrassing average speed. I even got tired toward the end, so flexed my mental muscles there as well. 

The 35 minute run that’s on deck for this week just freaks me out a bit. What if I can’t do it? My furthest unbroken run is 22 minutes.

And the thing is, running for most of my daily walk has been a goal of mine for a while now. Somehow when I wasn’t looking it became easy for me to do. Too easy. Like did I even really do anything?

Same with Daily Yoga, I felt exhausted an hour ago and decided to just do 10 minutes of hip stretches. Even though my goal absolutely used to be just ten minutes a day, and when I was tired skipping over a practice wasn’t a big deal. But now 10 minutes makes me wonder if I’m getting more flexible, if I even can get more flexible without a longer session. 

Meditation, again, I haven’t skipped a day of mindfulness in 55 days. Earlier this year it was a big deal to get to 9 consecutive days. But I felt myself judging my “presence”. Wanting to hit that next step on the path to enlightenment. FYI, you don’t have to laugh with the universe to know that being goal oriented isn’t exactly the best way to kill your ego. The whole idea is to exist in the moment without judging yourself. Wondering if your spine can be straighter or your mind could be emptier is just a girl with OCD gnawing on her own chakras.  

I wanted to feel achievement and instead felt like my wheels were spinning. Ugh, I totally get this from Dad. He never heard good news that didn’t stress him out. 

I’m being consistent. I am improving. FAST. So why is it that when I take it easy, (a chapter of a book instead of the whole damn thing), it feels like I’m not doing enough? 

I used to think that if I could be the type of person who regularly did all these things that I’d be happy. My ceiling is now my floor and I’m impatient for the next ceiling. 

Stop. Feel the pride, goddamnit. Or one day you’ll be able to go 10 miles, and feel shitty about yourself because it wasn’t 11 miles. And then one day you’ll be dead and no one will give a fuck that you ran in the first place.  

When you’re establishing a new habit, it’s all about baby steps. Maybe it’s a good sign that I’m ready to take kid sized steps. But the initial efforts are what got me here. 

I swept my literal bedroom floors, then swiffered them, wiped down the dresser and bedside table, cleaned the mirror so as to not check myself out through a film of dust. I dragged the plant Katie left in to the corner of my room and read two chapters of 4000 weeks by Oliver Burkeman. The theme is there will never be a time in the future in which you will allow yourself to be calm, because you will just find new things to fret and plan for until you’re dead. 

You’re always going to have more emails. Today is enough. 

In “The Cost of Utopia”, the character Alexander Herzen is mourning the untimely death of his young son in a shipwreck. In this loss he comes to the realization that a child’s life is no less valuable even though he never was able to reach adult accomplishments: “Because children grow up, we think a child’s purpose is to grow up, but a child’s purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn’t disdain what only lives for a day. It pours the whole of itself into each moment...Life’s bounty is in its flow. Later is too late.” 

Just because I’m getting better doesn’t mean my purpose is out there in a land of dreamt potential. My purpose is in the here and now. Page by page, mile by mile, healthy choice after healthy choice. Maybe I’ll get there (I will) or maybe this is where I plateau, but I’m not going to stop cleaning my corner of the universe and sweeping this floor until it shines. I worked hard to get here and I’m going to honor the foundation I get to walk on, and yes, even take a little for granted. Later is not when I deserve to be happy.

Not when I actually got a lot of shit done today. 

[star-man-creature]

Remembering my papi

My friend, Red, and I were looking through old google street views of our hometowns and I looked at my nona and papi’s house.

He died about 9 years ago. He was a teacher, although he drew as a hobby. I looked through his old drawings around when he died and showed some of them to my at-the-time friends, one of them of me as a baby. They said the drawings looked bad, but I don’t care.

My grandparents have this stained glass window in their door. It used to be broken (it’s fixed now, my aunt made it all good), so my papi had it in the garage so he could work on it. Seeing the wooden board over the place that stained glass used to be made me remember everything and break down.

My grandfather was born in guadlahara and taken to the us as a baby. Because of this, he really liked spicy foods. When he got as old as he was, this meant his liver started to get really messed up. He hated taking his medicine, and eating more bland food. One day, while my nona was out getting groceries, he left to go to the corner store. He left a note: “going to the store. I’ll be back. Love Ralph”. He fell while crossing the street and broke his neck.

He lived, but had to have one of those big halo metal neck bracers. He was getting better, until the doctor went on a weeklong vacation and the nurses tried to take it off to clean. My nona showed up to the hospital room just as he was telling the nurses that he couldn’t feel his feet anymore. His health declined rapidly at that point, we put him into hospice because he had nerve damage, what else could be done.

My family now takes a trip to a beach town every year over summer, because my papi never got to leave the country post-9/11 due to his messed-up birth certificate due to being taken here as a baby. He always wanted to go visit Belize. We just got back today, but yesterday my nona talked about papi and his death.

Apparently, although I don’t remember it at all, my family decided to pull the plug and were giving last goodbyes. I walked into the room, and with one of the last times he was conscious, he pointed at me and said “There’s Noah”

I’m the oldest kid of my extended family. I remembered this event earlier and got very emotional.

I feel like I’m doing a bad job of remembering my papi. I feel like almost everything i do remember are secondhand stories or snapshots of time. I just remember being on my mom’s ipad at my grandparents’ house instead of talking to him, and playing UMvC3 in the hospice game room to not think about it during his later time. When I heard he finally died, I remember just going and turning on Dragon Ball Xenoverse and just playing it all day so I wouldn’t think about anything else. I feel like I was heartless. I am not even really sure if I did those things because I didn’t want to think, or if I just cared more about video games than my papi’s death. I guess in the end i did care, i cried in the middle of PE the next day and talked with the school counselor about things, but I don’t think it really resolved any of my feelings.

I feel like a bad grandson. I look almost exactly like my papi did when he was around my age, and yet I have barely any clear memories of him and up until yesterday I didn’t even know the whole story behind his death until last night. Either way, I want to write down what happened, and indulge in these emotions for a little bit tonight.

Rest in peace, Ralph Price. I love you papi.

#death #family member death tw #neck injury #self-appeasing grief-post

[umichenginabroad]

Sorrento Week 3: Pompeii and Bagni Regina Giovanna

Hey everyone! Sorry I missed posting last week; I was very busy and having a lot of fun :) I finally visited Pompeii and was blown away by the ruins from 79 AD! 

I don’t have class on Wednesdays so I woke up early and got on a train with some friends to visit Pompeii. The train ride was less than an hour since Pompeii isn’t too far from Sorrento. We got there around 9:30 am (I think) and scanned our online tickets to enter the site. We decided to use a Rick Steves audio walking tour that was free through an app instead of paying for a tour. This way we could take our own time walking around to see everything. Inside the archaeological site, we were able to see ancient ruins from almost 2000 years ago. Even though Mt. Vesuvius erupted and destroyed a lot of the city, we were still able to catch a glimpse of how the Romans lived. It was so interesting to see how advanced their society was from their paintings to their architecture. They had public baths and even had fast food for the poor people who didn’t have a kitchen similar to what I saw in Herculaneum. I think my favorite part was the amphitheater. It was breathtaking to see how big the theater was and imagine what kinds of events were held there in ancient times. 

Another highlight of my week was going to Bagni Regina Giovanna. This is a beach about a 40 minute walk from the dorms and is a popular tourist spot since it is secluded and there are some ruins nearby. The hike to this place was tiring since it was so hot outside but the view from the beach was completely worth it. My friends and I swam to some rocks in the distance and laid there for a while. I unfortunately cut my legs on the sharp rocks but it was worth it since I had so much fun. I also saw a crab which freaked me out but I was fine in the end. I will definitely be going back to swim there again and I highly recommend anyone visiting Sorrento to visit this place! If you don’t want to walk there are also buses that can drop you off near the beach. 

I can’t believe my 3rd week in Sorrento went by so fast. It was so enjoyable and I can’t wait to visit more places in the coming weeks! 

Satwika Tattari

Space Sciences and Engineering

IPE: Engineering in Sorrento, Italy

#ipesorrento #umichenginabroad #ipesummer23 #italy #SatwikaTattari

[purplesurveys]

1594

Who’s the last person you were angry with? Most of my anger and irritation these days are largely directed towards clients who are being unreasonable, to be completely honest with you. I try not to get angry and stay angry with people in my personal circle; it’s always stressful when any of my relationships go through a fallout.

What was the last video game that you beat? Probably just In the Seom, if it counts.

When was the last time you ate Pop Tarts? Must have been a couple of years ago. Pop-Tarts isn’t something I have to have regularly; it’s super sweet, and also a little expensive heheh. But when I do, I like to get the chocolate fudge kind.

Have you ever hyperventilated? I’ve had a few panic attacks in my teenage/early college years and they are easily one of the worst experiences I’ve had to go through.

Have you ever had lice? When I was around 9 or 10. I remember finding out I had them and thinking it was the end of the world.

Colored or black-and-white photo? Colored; was never too fond of the black and white style, even for aesthetics. I always felt like it sucked the life out of photos.

Do you believe in astrology? Hell no.

Who did you last give a piggyback ride to? I’m lighter than most people I know to be giving piggyback rides.

Do you like Lady Gaga or does she try too hard? I’m not too big on her more recent stuff, but I think it’s unfair to say that she “tries too hard.” She’s always been an expressive person and is very confident in being so, and I think that’s a great trait to have.

What’s the ugliest trend you’ve ever seen? I’ll go with the one where you’d would wear your pants low enough for your undergarments to start popping out. Always thought it was a little gross.

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I already have two of them.

What would you do if you were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean? Stay the stillest I could so as not to tip the boat over, and I’d try to get attention with hand motions or turning on my phone’s flashlight.

When was the last time you played Guitar Hero? Must have been over a decade ago. I wasn’t the best at Guitar Hero and always preferred Rock Band.

Where did you last wear a bathing suit? Around two weeks ago, was it? when we went to Batangas for the weekend. We’ll be going to Zambales tomorrow though so I imagine I’d be in a bathing suit again for the next couple of days.

Who did your last notification come from? Think it was just Angela.

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? Depends on what it is I’m getting checked but generally I’m fine with either.

Ever cried so much you threw up? Just a handful of times. But me throwing up is mostly due to either overwhelming feelings of dread, or when I’ve had too much work screentime.

Are you completely over your last relationship? Mhm. Sometimes I’ll remember aspects of it and physically flinch, but that’s what memories do, I guess – come by every once in a while. Other than that, I never think about it anymore unless someone else raises it first.

Have you ever gone to a beach? Of course. Many times.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No.

What do you usually order on a pizza? I get the four-cheese kinds all the time.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? I haven’t yet, but this is something I’ve always wanted to do. Either for a museum or for an animal shelter.

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I have to use conditioner. Using just shampoo makes the bleach on my head start flipping its shit and my hair becomes as hard as a (really gross) rock.

Would you ever visit a psychic? Never.

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No, but they had always fascinated me as a kid. I learned all about them in the almanacs I used to own and tried to look for one around the neighborhood, not knowing that they most likely do not exist where I live.

Has anyone ever called you stuck-up? Maybe behind my back.

Had sex at school? Yep.

[TW: ABUSE] Abusive relationship: leave him/her or keep it a secret? I mean, it’s really easy to sit behind a computer screen and say you’d leave, but in reality, it’s rarely that straightforward. < There we go.

What recently happened that made you proud of yourself? I filed so many leaves throughout December it’s ridiculous, and I actually spent them as leaves. Barely checked my work emails, my Viber, etc unless there’s something super urgent. And I spent most of my newfound free time going to art galleries and just getting a lot of much-needed free time :)

[TW: DRUG OD] Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Nopes.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yeah they’re literally right in the next room and I’ll be going out of town with them starting tomorrow, too.

Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? A new speaker. My current one, which I’ve had since high school, finally broke down a few weeks ago. :( Listening to music hasn’t really been the same since and it’s made me restless lol. I would really love a new one.

When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? Most likely tomorrow. My dad happened to pick out an accommodation that has a pretty solid bar, so I’m looking forward to enjoying my long island iced tea that I’ve missed so much.

What are you doing on Halloween? I was packing 50 crates of dog food for a client. Not the best Halloween.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? I have been drunk in school; and while I made sure that it was when I was done with all my classes for the day, I did still have a meeting for one of my extracurricular activities so I had to attend that tipsy. Not my finest moment. As for work, I would never dare report while drunk.

Do you own any Sims games? Which ones? We have Sims 4 on the Playstation but I haven’t touched that in years. It had been my choice to buy the game because I wanted to copy the nice mansions I’d watch on YouTube, but it was so overwhelming seeing all the choices (whether it was for decorating your house or for interacting with people) that I just stopped playing altogether lol.

What are you listening to at the moment? Blue & Grey, BTS.

First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed? Ugh... G.

If you could take back saying anything to anyone, what would it be? Nothing comes to mind.

Do you do anything regularly that could damage your body? I vape and eat so much pork belly lol. Oh, and I only eat one meal a day.

When were you the saddest in your life? Either in 2016 when I was grieving my grandfather’s death and dealing with MAJOR depression and anxiety in my freshman year of college; or in 2020 when I was mourning over a breakup and stopped talking to anybody entirely. Somehow though, I feel like 2020 tops 2016, even considering how heavy the latter had been. I never, ever, ever want to feel as sad as I had been at the time.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? We all live together. Have you been outside today? Nah. I wanted to go to a coffee shop today but ultimately was too lazy to drive. Did you know you wanted to be in a relationship with the person you are now when you first met him/her? I’m not with anyone.

Would you rather live in Alaska or New Zealand? New Zealand.

Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Probably Andi.

What would you do if you walked into your house only to find your boyfriend and your mother making out? I don’t have a boyfriend, but I imagine I’d be in shock. It’s easy to say “I’d run off and tell my dad,” but I don’t think that’s actually the first thing I’d do. Realistically, I feel like I’d have to run away from everything and everyone first so I can process what I had just walked into lol.

What if you found out your partner had a previous sex change? Let them speak first, and then comfort them and tell them nothing’s going to change.

Have you ever dated someone in the military? No.

When’s the next time you’ll have to buy a gift for someone? Right after this survey I’ll place an order for the bucket hat I saw for Angela.

List the last ten people that texted you. Just people I’ve had to contact for work.

What colour is your favourite eye shadow? I don’t have one.

What’s your favourite hairstyle on a guy? I also don’t have one.

Who was the last person to call you beautiful? Idk.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to Facebook message you? I think it was Hans.

Do you know how to make origami? No, I’m terrible at origami and am incapable of following instructions for it.

Who is your hero? Don’t really have one.

How would you like to be proposed to one day? I haven’t given it much thought. Offhand, it’d be nice if it took place in a spot that holds a lot of significance for me and whoever the partner is. Whether they pulled out all the stops for a loud proposal or went the simple, quieter, intimate route wouldn’t matter to me - it just has to be genuine and sentimental.

When was the last time you saw your brother? Around an hour ago when I had to cross his room going from the rooftop back to my room.

Would you introduce the last person you kissed to your parents? They knew her, but they can also tell that she hasn’t been in my life for a while. I don’t really know how to answer this. Is your ex a complete loser? Not the most fitting term but I can think of other names. Let’s go with coward :)

What does the shirt you’re wearing look like? It’s CM Punk merch from like 2013/2014.

Do you like to cuddle? Only with an SO but I haven’t had one of those in a while. Otherwise, excessive physical affection is something I’m uncomfortable with.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? No, he’s been with my best friend for years.

Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? Depends on the context. I know they’d be thrilled to get a grandkid, but largely under ~legitimate circumstances, if you catch my drift. I live in an extremely conservative and Catholic country, which should help explain things.

Any baby names you think you might name your future kids? I do have a list of favorites, yes.

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it’s over? It was both of us.

Has anyone seen you naked in the last 6 months? No.

[benchonaquest]

I’m STILL Here by John Wall

I was this close to taking my own life.

That’s a hard thing to tell the world. But if you can say one thing about me, it’s that I’ve always been real, and that’s not going to change today. I can’t sugarcoat it. The truth is … two years ago, I was in a really dark place and I just couldn’t see a way out. And I know that probably sounds crazy to some people. I already know the kind of comments I’m gonna get. “Bro, how the hell can you have all that money and be depressed? You’re John Wall.” Listen, I know exactly who I am. I’m a dog. I been knocked down and got up off the canvas 100 times. From a skinny little kid growing up in Section 8 in Raleigh to the No. 1 pick — all the ups and downs and the sh*t I’ve seen? I know exactly who I am, and what I represent, and how many people need to hear this. So I’m not afraid to tell you that I've been in a place that was so dark that suicide felt like the only option. I mean, we’re not supposed to even say the word right?? It’s almost like a taboo, especially in the community I come from. Well, I’ll speak on it. For me, it all happened really fast. In the span of three years, I went from being on top of the world to losing damn near everything I ever cared about. In 2017, I’m jumping up on the announcer’s table in D.C. after forcing Game 7 against Boston, and I’m the king of the city. I’m getting a max extension, thinking I’m a Wizard for life. A year later, I tore my Achilles and lost the only sanctuary I’ve ever known — the game of basketball. I ended up with such a bad infection from the surgeries that I nearly had to have my foot amputated. A year later, I lost my best friend in the whole world, my mom, to breast cancer. And you have to understand, when I say I lost my best friend, I’m not exaggerating. I had two nicknames growing up. “Crazy J,” because I was crazy as hell. Ha. I used to literally do anything the homies dared me to do. They had me jumping off roofs into bushes like it’s Jackass. And then my other nickname was “Momma’s Boy,” and you already know why. My dad had been in jail since I was one, and he died of liver cancer when I was 9 years old. They let him out just to say goodbye. I can still see him in that dope 84 Randy Moss Vikings jersey, the last day I ever got with him. To this day, I don’t even like going to the beach, because that was our first and last trip as a family. My older brother was locked up, too. So my mom was my whole world. She would work three jobs just to keep our lights on. (And some months, those lights were definitely cutting off, if we needed that money for AAU tournaments.) I wasn’t a Foot Locker kid. Everything we got was from the flea market. I was the kid who showed up to basketball practice in some And1s from the clearance rack at Shoe Carnival. I was the kid with the anger issues. The kid who was always acting up. But damn if my mom didn’t love me, man. She used to drive me 45 minutes to my elementary school and wait out in the parking lot because she knew there was a 50% chance I was gonna get kicked out for acting up to the teachers. I used to come walking out to the car with my hands in the air like they’d called a bad foul. I’d be saying, “I don’t know what I did…. Yo, these teachers acting crazy.” Hahaha. She would just sit there shaking her head like, “See? This is why I don’t drive home.”

"Money and fame don’t mean sh*t if you don’t have peace in your life."  -- John Wall

When I look at my youngest son, and the way he be sticking his bottom lip out and smirking, I’m like: Damn. That’s just like my mom. A little piece of her is still here. When my older son comes running into the room to jump up on me like, “Raaaahhhhh!!!!! My daddy JOHNWALLLLLLL!!!!!!!” That’s my purpose now. And I know y’all heard me say it not too long ago, when I was playing pickup with PG and them…. “I’m BACK.” And it’s true. I am back. But it’s also something way, way deeper. It’s bigger than basketball, what I’m talking about. It’s LIFE, right?? I’ve been through some of the darkest times you can imagine … and yo…. I’m still here. — John Wall

Source: https://signature.theplayerstribune.com/john-wall-nba-basketball-los-angeles-clippers/p/1