#lawyering

[animentality]

#twitter #lawyer #lawyering #legal tumblr #funny

[thewellofastarael]

Today in: The Death of Twitter

Here's the rundown:

Twitter had its employees sign forced-arbitration agreements

Twitter offered generous severance/benefits payouts to people they fired

Musk bought the company and initiated mass layoffs

Former employees allege they were given the axe for illegal discriminatory reasons [link]

Musk reneges on promised severance/benefits [link] [link]

Employees file a class-action lawsuit in court, it gets dismissed because of the arbitration agreement [link]

Almost TWO THOUSAND employees file arbitration claims since they can't sue in court. Twitter's law firm says they'll drown in paperwork from all the arbitration cases [link]*

Which brings us to today:

Twitter refuses to pay for arbitration services (as required by the arbitration agreements signed by employees)

Toss arbitration costs onto the pile of things that Twitter can't afford: their rent, their cloud services, their loan interest payments…

*In a class-action lawsuit, all the proceedings, depositions, document searches, etc, get combined and streamlined. The legal fees are cheaper. Arbitration cases cannot be combined, so all those depositions and paperwork have to be redone for every case. People have compared mass-arbitration filing to a DDoS attack.

#twitter #elon musk #news #arbitration #the shitshow gets shittier #mine #lawyering #100

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

I really love that he knows his job is safe:

Lawyered!

(Is his real job saving the Queen family from their own stupidity with his lawyering?)

#lawyering #queen of tears #spoilers #ep 8

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Sobriety

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[Scene: Saul Goodman is driving through the scenic mountains of Montana, with a look of anticipation on his face. He arrives at a cosy lodge where his bi-annual lawyering meetup is taking place. As Saul enters the lodge, he is greeted by three familiar faces – Jeff, Geoffry, and Yeffroy.]

Saul: Well, well, well, if it isn't the three stooges of law. How's it hanging, fellas?

Jeff: Hey Saul, good to see you. Always a pleasure to catch up with my favourite lawyer.

Geoffry: Hey Saul, how's business treating you these days?

Yeffroy: Saul, it's been too long. We missed having you here at our meetups.

Saul: Yeah, yeah, enough with the pleasantries. Let's get down to business. Who's ready to lawyer up and have a good time?

Jeff: Actually, Saul, we've made some changes since the last time you were here.

Saul: Changes? What kind of changes?

Geoffry: We've all decided to go sober and give up string cheese.

Saul: [disgusted] What? Sober? No string cheese? What kind of madness is this? You guys have gone soft on me.

Yeffroy: Saul, it's for the best. We were getting a little out of control with our drinking and snacking habits. We figured it was time to clean up our act.

Saul: Clean up our act? Are you kidding me? This is a lawyering meetup, not some sobriety retreat. I can't believe you guys would do this to me.

Jeff: Look, Saul, we still value your friendship and your expertise. We just thought it was time for a change.

Saul: Well, I don't like this change one bit. I came here to let loose, have a few drinks, and enjoy some damn string cheese. And now you're telling me I can't do that? No way. I'm outta here.

[Saul storms out of the lodge, getting into his car and driving away with fury in his eyes.]

[Scene: Saul is driving back home, fuming over what happened at the lawyering meetup. He can't believe that his friends would betray him like this.]

Saul: [talking to himself] Those guys have lost their damn minds. Going sober? Giving up string cheese? What kind of world are we living in?

[The camera pans out as Saul continues to drive, leaving the mountains of Montana behind him. The screen fades to black as the sound of Saul's car fades away.]

[End of scene.]

#breaking bad #rejected bad #saul goodman #jeff #Geoffry #Yeffror #lawyering #string cheese #sobriety #montana

[pfenniged]

I’ll tell anyone who’d listen, Matthew McConaughey in True Detective really gives the only true vibes of what being a lawyer is really like:

#truly the vibe #personal #bless #true detective #lawyering

[giftedchildturns40]

I work at a small law firm with only 4 attorneys, and I’m the only female attorney. The men all wear bow ties—it’s like the firm’s little gimmick. Well I’m a team player sometimes, so when I’m in court, I wear one too. I get a lot of looks, especially in the more rural circuits, but I think it’s patently absurd that we decided only men get to wear this really fun accessory. So please excuse the bathroom selfie but I am making it werk.

#Gendered accessories are stupid

#lawyering #juvenile court #bow tie #baby lawyer #butch positivity

[theeducationmag]

#lawfirms #lawfirm #lawye #lawyers #law #legal #lawfirmlife #legalservices #legaladvice #lawyering

[storkmuffin]

Some jurisdictions sing the tune of tort liability for economic loss in C-sharp minor, while others sing it in E-flat major. Still others carry the tune not in any key at all, but in Phrygian mode. Such a chorus might work for an avant-garde opera from the mid-twentieth century, but Rule 23 requires something closer to Beethoven's ninth.

from: S. Indep. Bank v. Fred's, Inc, 2019 WL 1179396 (M.D. Ala. Mar. 13, 2019).

COMPLETELY OBSESSED with this bit I just read in the brief.

#quote #lawyering #when judges go OFF #classical music lovers united #whatt the fuck is phrygian??

[edaworks]

Okay RJ, I’m sure I’ll regret asking this but how are your friends over there reacting to the series of train wrecks last two weeks’ worth of SCOTUS opinions dropped by the justices in our unfortunate alternate-reality version of the Capital?

Uh…popcorn? Boy howdy I’m also angry but but please no explosions, I’d like to keep my bar license and my life dear God I live here. I always like hearing other lawyers’ opinions on this unmitigated fucking freaking disaster though, so if she has any proposed solutions for us that won’t get me disbarred or disintegrated, by all means let us know.

In the meantime, we’ll just. Y’know.

Keep doing.

#fallout #fallout 4 #my artwork #fanart #maccready #rj maccready #robert joseph maccready #headcanon #fallout 3 #lawyer problems #lawyering #eda draws

[wewerenotthefirst]

There’s something about lying on the floor of your own office with the door shut that feels so decadent.

And sad.

It’s floor Friday.

#lawyering #when you defend criminal defendants the day gets long #not because of my clients but because the system is ducked

[professionallyhomosexual]

My client pleads mental illness your honor. Evidence? Well they hired me as a lawyer,

#law #attorney #lawyering

[tcfkag]

High-five to Monotasker

Today is Monotasker’s comp Friday (Friday off) and I have an all-morning to mid-afternoon CLE webinar and then am going to see Wakanda Forever this afternoon with @alaric-greyson (my first movie in over two years) and he’s just been the best taking care of Peanut all day! Peanut woke up at 3:30am (which is rare, she usually sleeps through the night) and he quietly read to her and gave her a bottle and she went back to sleep until 7am! And then he took us out to breakfast!! And then he’s been taking Peanut all day so that I can watch this boring Webinar - while still managing to do some yardwork and run errands (Peanut loves running errands)!!! And totally was cool with me ditching him to go to a movie!!!! I realize that none of these things seem like THAT big a deal but it’s a huge load off my back for the day and this is HIS day off.  Anyway, he’s not even on Tumblr anymore but consider this a virtual high-give to him. I have also thanked him in real life too but sometimes celebrating even the small things is important. ETA: I really cannot emphasize enough how boring this CLE is because, among other things, it is an “annual update of the law” but it covers ALL areas of law including many areas of law I just do not practice. In my *secondary* state of practice. Bar Associations are such a freaking racket y’all. My secondary Bar requires you register for the Bar AND with the State separately AND complete CLEs most of which, of course, are run by the Bar, which charges you for the CLEs they require you to take. It’s not that I’m opposed to continuing legal education but it would be nice if at least it felt like I didn’t spend all my time in CLEs learning things I will *never* use in my own practice. And since my secondary Bar is a small state, most CLEs in other states don’t bother getting approved as an official CLE for said state, so that would be even more paperwork I have to do to get credit. So, of course, instead I just end up doing THEIR CLEs.  As I said, such a racket.

#about me #Monotasker is my spouse if that is not clear #the nickname is because he is terrible at multitasking #so him taking Peanut for the day also means he's having to multitask #without complaint! #lawyering #grown up brags? #Also because I suck at remembering to file paperwork I always end up having to pay fees for being late in registering or entering my CLEs #Which is MY fault but its just feels like an endless series of charges and fees just to be admitted in the state #And it is ALL designed to try to keep lawyers from the neighboring states from practicing in this state #Like - it should absolutely be an antitrust violation

[dalliansss]

another day, another chapter of forcing-a-case-for-inquest-when-clearly-it-isn’t-for-that 😒

#lawyering #like godDAMN #these idiots need to be the ones sent BACK to police academy #lmfaaaao

[saulwexler]

how to explain to non-americans that the better call saul ads aren’t exaggerated for comedic effect they are super normie

#better call saul #[name rhyme] did someone hurt you? I’ll kill them. I’ll make them suffer. i’ll burn the world down until we are the last 2 in it #local lawyer tag

[cali]

sorry bro i lost focus and forgot where u begin and i end i hope nothing gay happened

#everytime i smoke too much i enter the lives of lawyers and secretaries and all the lives that arent mine #and on lsd i kept concentrating rlly hard on not becoming u #although now i think thats wrong but i havent done it in a while maybe if im brave ill not fight it next time

[giftedchildturns40]

Bow tie lawyer selfie. With the addition of the face piercing I fully anticipate being mistaken for a juvenile delinquent instead of their attorney.

#juvenile court #gay lawyers #bow tie #trans #monroe piercing #lawyering #lawyer #tattooed #trans guy