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#lesbian crush

Ghosts

The sun moves and I catch a glimpse of her face

I move around the glare and it is just a girl in the year below

A ponytail moves in the corner of my eye and it’s her

But I turn to look and the girl looks nothing like her

Her face is sprawled across posters and yet

The models look nothing like her

I hear her laugh but can never pinpoint the source because

She’s not here

And she never is.

~

I see her face in strangers’ bodies

And I know the memory of her will destroy me

Eventually. But not today.

Never today.

The memory haunts me

In puddles

And mirrors

And windows

But it is somehow worse when I see her

In other people

The split second of hope that she

Is somehow here and whole

Destroys me more than the main event ever did.

~

I remember what she looks like

In technicolour clarity

The way she would always wear her hair

Because it was easy

The shape of her eyebrows

The run of her jawline

And the curve where her neck met her shoulder.

But these memories do me no good

And they just provide fuel for me

To see her in the places she is not.

Follow me on instagram @onewithwords.m

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Do you write love poems and letters to other lesbians or girls you like? Do you buy gifts for them? Do you treat the girls you like as if they were a princess or a goddess? If so check out this video.

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I went on two dates with a super cute girl who was here on vacation and she goes back to the UK on Sunday and the gay longing is /real/ why do the only good girls live so far away

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10th Oct

Had ancient Greek after class today and the other student wasn’t in so u kno what that means,,, one on one time!!

it’s supposed to finish at 5 but we stayed talking until about 5:50 about loads of stuff (turns out she’s a hopeless romantic (her words)) i now kno a bunch of stuff about her childhood and family and interests and everything tbh :)

And as if she REMEMBERED THAT TOMORROW IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF ME COMING OUT TO HER!!!! that’s got to mean something right like?? i forgot it myself tbh

ik we can obviously never do anything (pesky laws) but im rlly happy with our friendship rn

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Friend: We need to get you a boyfriend
Me: *scoffs* I'm too gay for that
Friend: Okay, we'll get you a girlfriend
Me, secretly having a crush on her: ...I'm too straight for that
Friend, with a confused look: I don't think it works that way
Me: How dare you question my sexuality like this?
Friend: *laughs* Okay whatever
Me, relieved: Yeah, whatever
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