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avariantflaire · 5 months

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Why Levi and Petra?

Of course, upon general viewing of SNK and its characters, it's clear that they have established Erwin, Levi, and Hange as the leading trio of the Survey Corps. They represent this faction of the military and in interesting ways, mirror the main protagonists of the series.

While there is a lot to be said and appreciated about Levi's relationships with Erwin and Hange, I have come to find that the character who humanizes him is the lovely (albeit forgettable) Petra Ral.

Early in the series, we are introduced to Levi as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Erwin makes use of his abilities in this sense, and Hange often relies on his strength in combat as well. That is not to say this is the extent of their relationships: we have Levi's iconic "Give up on your dreams and die" scene with Erwin (S3 E16) and the infamous "Maybe we should just live here [away from my responsibilities] together" request from Hange (S4.2 E8). However, something to note with both scenes is that while they give depth to Levi's relationship with both characters, he essentially serves to highlight others. In the former, Levi's response directly challenges Erwin's dream, and allows this commander a defining moment of growth. Similarly in the latter, Levi is used as a means for Hange to express and eventually overcome their fears and insecurities about the deal they've been dealt as the new Commander of the Survey Corps (which at the time was rapidly disbanding under the Jaegerist movement).

In other words, Levi is the "subplot character" to Erwin's and Hange's individual arcs. (According to John Truby, 'The subplot character… provides another opportunity to define the hero through comparison and advance the plot.')

Which begs the question… at what point in the series, if any, is Levi defined as a character in and of himself?

Two prominent scenes from season 1 come to mind, which are namely: 1) The dying soldier scene (S1 E9), and 2) Petra's conversation with Eren in headquarters (S1 E15).

In the first, Levi comforts a dying soldier and vows to carry on their will and exterminate all Titans. When the soldier passes before he can reply to Levi's words, Levi turns to his fellow soldier Petra and asks her if he was heard. Petra provides confirmation, emphasizing the peaceful expression on the soldier's face.

In the second, Petra confronts a gloomy-looking Eren, who has been tasked to clean headquarters along with the rest of the Special Operations Squad (aka the Levi Squad). She specifically points out how Levi is 'not the hero he's expected to be' in the sense that he has a terrible personality, though she does so while smiling almost fondly, as though it doesn't matter what his personality is because they can always put faith in him as their Captain. It seems she wants Eren to understand this - or a notion similar.

It is in both moments that we are able to clearly see Levi beyond being a powerful soldier. Always, he is a threat. When he enters the scene we expect the shift in the dynamic of the battle - we expect him to win. He's a trump card. Erwin's last words to him are an order (S3 E16), and Hange's last words about him is "he's [Armin's] underling now, so really put him to work" (S4.3.1). Levi acknowledges Erwin's and Hange's humanity, bolsters it even, with the conviction of "dedicating your heart". In SNK he is the symbolism, the embodiment, of a soldier. That's all he really ever gets to be. Even his softest moments with - heck, anyone in the series - are meant to deeply reflect on the guilt, the burden, the purpose of getting the job done. ("So… you're telling me… I've spent all this time and energy running around killing people?" (S2 E12) / "Just think, if your hands were still clean... Jean wouldn't be here right now." (S3 E2) / "If we just run away and keep on hiding, what will we have left?" (S4.2 E8))

But for those singular moments in season one, he's more than just the threat. We see him as a human not only with (personality) flaws, but also with dreams and convictions, tied so seamlessly with his comrades' cause that we are reminded painfully, at the end of the series, that it was Levi who carried them all to the end. Throughout the story we see Levi lament fallen soldiers; we are exposed to how much he empathizes with his comrades and their deaths, to the point where it can be said that no one keeps us more aware of the lives that have been lost throughout the show more than Levi himself.

In this manner, Petra was the subplot character to Levi's hero. She gave the audience a (subconscious) glimpse of the Humanity within "Humanity's Strongest" and built the bridge that would lead us to compelling and important revelations about Levi's thoughts and actions as the show progressed. It's Petra whom he finds tending to a dying soldier; Petra whom he asks for confirmation that the soldier heard; Petra who, against all expectation, asks Eren to see past the station, the status, the soldier, to the person himself.

"He's not quite the great, perfect hero society makes him out to be, huh? The real Captain Levi is shorter than you'd expect, temperamental, crude, and unsociable. (…) You thought that because he's skilled, he doesn’t have to follow the rules like everyone else?" (S1 E15)

It's even Petra who, despite her rank, asks Levi to step aside when Eren becomes a half-baked Titan. Here, Levi's robust intuition and split-second decision making skills are shown even away from the battlefield. It's Petra who leads the Special Operations Squad in their apology to Eren (S1E19 "Bite"), who first instills in us (narratively) the notion of trusting your fellow comrades. More specifically, she is who convinces Eren to place his life in their hands. It's this notion that Levi carries with him even until the final arc - "I've saved Eren countless times over - each time, more comrades dying. All because I believed he was the hope of humanity." (S4.1 E13) In the manga (Ch112), it's Petra we see at the forefront of this belief.

"Do you, Eren? Do you find it that hard to trust us?" It's Petra who dies, her words the final say in convincing Eren: "I believe my squad will be victorious." (S1 E21)

"It's like some awful joke," Levi reflects later on, as his comrades' dying hopes and dreams flash by in the canopy of the forest. "What the hell was the hope that we saw? Such bullshit. It's not even funny." (S4.1 E13) "We" here could definitely mean the soldiers who've given their hearts, but the metaphorical representative of this heart is Petra herself... "Eren! Trust us." (S1 E19)

And in the end, it's Petra in the forefront alongside Erwin and Hange, representative of her fellow soldiers, the one (experienced/veteran) Scout we've seen and interacted with in the entire series to have professed the values of hope, of trust, of belief, which is henceforth carried on by Levi himself, his own convictions, his own dreams. They are, in the entire series, the glimpse we get into the Scout Regiment beyond the series' titular character and his comrades in the 104th, and a thorough dive into what makes Levi Humanity's, not simply its strongest.

Her character song, "The Light of Dual Wings", can literally be taken as an allegory of the dreams the Scouts have entrusted to Levi. That's how prominent she is as a Scout; how coded her devotion to Levi is, whether interpreted platonically, romantically, or narratively, as the dedication of hearts.

So, yes, I love them together. I love their scenes, the implications of them narratively, the values Petra professes so effortlessly in the air, washed away by the higher tides of the Female Titan arc. I love that it's still Petra at the forefront, in all of Levi's reflections moving forward, because she is our first glimpse into Levi's character, the real him.

In the end this is just a ship post struggling to keep from delving too much into the symbolism of Levi and the Scouts (how Levi is the face of the Scouts more so than Erwin himself, really), the truest depiction of humanity's collective fight for freedom in this entire series. In his early days, Eren wanted to be a Scout, after all. It is Levi and Petra who push him forward into 'that hell' - for better and worse, respectively.

#levi ackerman #petra ral #rivetra #levi x petra #levipet #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levi character analysis #levi petra relationship analysis #aot analysis #snk analysis #i even cited episode numbers!#i was too lazy to get the overall episode number though xd #so you get dumb citations like S4.3.1 lol #analysis.vtf

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vnsgbs · 5 months

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It's been a while since I drew them, I missed them. Happy birthday Levi and Petra birthday

Pls do not edit or repost my art. Não edite ou reposte minha arte!

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leviral · 6 months

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Petra will always be there. 🖤🧡

#attack on titan #petra ral #levi heichou #captain levi #levi ackerman #levi x petra #rivetra #snk #shingeki

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captain-natey · 9 months

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Cheeky, cheeky gf 🌊☀️🏖️

#rivetra #citrinate draws #levi x petra #aot #snk #petra ral #levi ackerman #fanart

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frthingsdraw · 3 months

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i made this for rivetra version 🖤🧡

#levi ackerman #petra ral #rivetra #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levi x petra #anime #manga #snk rivetra

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tamagoneko · 4 months

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i miss them </3

#attack on titan #levi ackerman #petra ral #levi x petra #rivetra #has it really been 10 been since i last drew them?#fanart #my art #chibi #cute

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love4-bunny · 1 year

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No tengo contexto, yo me río sola.

#☕️🍓#rivetra #levi x petra #petra ral #como se ponian los tags?#levi ackerman #hange zoe

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dont-f-with-moogles · 15 days

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Hi Terra Darling ❤️

Festive fic request with prompt number 6 "family invited an old crush/first love to a dinner party" for Levihan

My headcanons for this prompt:

Hange or Hange's family invites Zeke to a dinner party & Levi is far from happy OR fed up by Levi being single for a long time, Kuchel invites Hange to a dinner party OR Levi or Hange or their family invites an old crush (Zeke/Erwin/Petra, pick one) & it turns out they both used to date him/her lol OR you come up with your own because it will be amazing whatever you decide!!

Happy holidays 🎄❄️

Now or Never (Part 2) Characters: Levi x Petra; Levi x Hange; Mike x Nanaba Word Count: 2188 words

The dining room lay almost bare. No photographs adorned the walls; their ornaments were still wrapped in paper, stored in boxes upstairs. Even the low, wooden dining table didn’t quite suit this new room. As he sipped his wine Levi considered how it had once sat in Mike and Nanaba’s old flat, centrally occupying the square-shaped space. The table still proudly displayed the tiny tree which Hange had bought for the couple as a flat-warming present over a year ago. Of course, they had never planned to live there forever. This new dining room was longer and in want of furniture to fit it. Its walls were a pale, non offensive shade of magnolia - the exact choice of homeowners intending to cover over the marks - the mistakes - they had once made before moving on. Mike was pouring refills into their glasses. Levi placed a hand over his whilst, beside him, Petra quietly accepted.

“Come on…” Mike urged, “you’re getting the train back right?”

“I’ll take a tea instead.”

“We’ll put the kettle on after dinner.”

Reluctantly, he removed his hand.

“This it then?” Levi’s eyes shifted to the empty seat beside Mike. Of course, if they had been expecting more than two guests, then there would be a fifth floor cushion set out. Despite his uncertainty, Levi’s shoulders relaxed a little. He had experienced the same gnawing sensation when he and Petra had arrived at their house. Removing their shoes at the door, Levi had glanced down to see several discarded pairs beside theirs. He had assumed that someone had arrived before them, only to discover that they were the first.

“Yeah,” Mike replied, “Hange got caught up with an assignment as usual. Something about a deadline.”

Levi exhaled through his nose. He doubted that very much.

His hand brushed Petra’s shoulder with renewed reassurance as Nanaba appeared in the doorway. The fragrant scent of spices seemed to waft after her.

“The rice will be done in five minutes,” she announced. “Hope you guys are hungry!” “Can’t wait,” Levi commented, “... and nice place you’ve got here. What’s it like living somewhere with two floors?”

“Ah you know, it’s better than being cooped up in the flat.” Nanaba shared a sentimental glance with Mike. “We’ll miss it… but this is better. Even if we’ve got some decorating to do!”

She smiled over at Petra, who was nodding along politely despite not having been part of this previous era… an era of small apartments, of Mike and Nanaba as university graduates… of Levi and… Hange.

“So, how was your holiday? Where did you say you-” Nanaba frowned, reaching over to grab her phone from the side table. “Sorry - hold that thought. Hello?”

“It was so beautiful…. and just nice to spend time with family you know?” Petra continued to address Mike in Nanaba’s absence. “I’m sorry that I missed out on your New Year’s party though! I heard it was a fun night…”

Levi took a long sip of his wine.

“I don’t know if you’d call it much of a party,” Mike chuckled, “Nana and I were asleep just after midnight so we missed the excitement… guess you’ll have to ask Levi.”

“Hange’s outside!” Nanaba reappeared just as Levi knocked his glass sharply against the table. “Apparently they made their deadline after all.”

There came the sound of a door closing, followed by footsteps in the hall. Petra gave Levi’s arm a little squeeze. He smiled at her in response, though with a warmth which did not quite reach his eyes.

Voices echoed outside; Hange fawning over the staircase and laughing with Nanaba about the previous owner’s choice of carpet. Levi’s jaw set. Then, both of them emerged in the doorway.

“Evening!” Hange beamed around at them. Briefly, their eyes met Levi’s before they glanced away. “Sorry for almost flaking!”

“Why quit the habit of a lifetime?” Mike teased. Levi reached for his wine again. His mouth felt parched; his tongue lay heavy and useless. He craved water - something hydrating - rather than more alcohol.

“Nice to see you again Petra.” Hange gave a little bow of their head as Nanaba dragged another floor seat over to the table. “Heard you’ve just come back from your travels! Was it a good trip?”

“Oh yes, it was so beautiful and relaxing. The new year is the best time to go…”

Levi listened intently to Petra’s story for a second time, refusing to allow his eyes to stray from her face.

“...but it’s a shame I couldn’t spend New Year’s with you guys.”

Casually, Hange picked up the glass of wine which Mike had just poured.

“Oh you know, it was a quiet one in the end. Nothing much happened.”

Levi stared at them, utterly astounded by their nonchalance on the subject.

“Mike said you were all asleep just after midnight!”

“Well, Levi and Hange were up, weren’t you? Mike said he heard you both-” Nanaba walked in with a pot of steaming rice, just as Levi’s floor seat lurched out.

“Whoa!” Petra turned to her left. “Levi, what’s the hurry?”

“Seat got caught on the rug,” he lied. His eyes flew to Hange’s face who appeared quite composed by comparison. They blew out a little sigh as they lifted their glass again.

Nanaba set down the pot of rice. “No jogging the table. I’ve slaved away at this!”

Mike raised his eyebrows as Nanaba began serving heaped spoons onto plates. Petra received hers gratefully. Levi was just thankful to have something to occupy his hands.

“This smells amazing…” Hange praised her. “I love curry rice!”

“So… you had a late night, huh Levi?” Not to be deterred, Petra had rerouted from Hange’s interjection to their earlier conversation. She grinned at Levi expectantly over her plate of food. As he opened his mouth to explain, Mike cut in with a rumble of low laughter.

“Oh yeah… took him years but he finally got Hange where he’d always wanted them.”

Levi dropped his plate on the table, spilling rice onto its wooden surface

“Yeah…” Mike continued as Petra’s head whipped round, “...never thought we’d see the day, but there the two of them were, getting busy-”

Horrified, Levi willed Petra to look away from him as he frantically tried to scrape up rice grains from the wooden tabletop. He could feel her eyes on him; the more she stared, the more the tips of his ears burned.

“- at the sink.” Mike took a large spoonful of rice and curry, savouring its flavour alongside his own unendurable comedy. “Who would have thought you’d finally get Hange to wash a plate?”

Hange’s forced laugh was lost in the more genuine giggles from Nanaba and Petra. Although the threat which had been silently hanging over Levi had not fallen yet, he could still feel it swaying over his head. He set his spoon down on the side of his plate and let his trembling hand fall into his lap.

“...yeah, I heard you doing the dishes,” Mike explained as the laughter around the table died away, “...at like, four in the morning.”

“Well, a little cleaning up is the least you guys could do, seeing as you all insisted on staying at my place,” Levi muttered bitterly.

“You know we appreciated you sharing your floor with us!” Nanaba sighed, widening her eyes.

“...and some of us even got to share your bed,” Mike teased Levi again with a hearty wink.

“Gunther,” Levi told Petra automatically. He reached for his wine again. By this point, he was going to need several refills to endure the rest of the evening.

“...I’m guessing he wasn’t who you really wanted sleeping next to you that night… huh, Levi?” Nanaba joined in, much to Petra’s delighted ‘shh-ing!’

Levi waved away their jokes again, his mouth twisted as though he was being forced to chew on tiny white grubs rather than rice. As he lifted his head he caught Hange’s eye again… and held their look.

This was dangerous.

That same rising dread intensified; remained suspended over Levi as he continued doggedly through one of the most excruciating dinners of his life. And yet, there was something which threatened to consume him whole; a feeling caught halfway between fear and fascination. Like oil and water, his conflicted emotions lay beside one another; equal parts danger and desire. They could never be reconciled, but only hold firmer in the presence of one another. Ever since New Year’s, something had started to take form… something that any and all other distractions hadn’t managed to douse…

Levi felt the brush of gentle fingers on his wrist. Petra was smiling at him. He closed his hand over hers, watching as their fingers lay entwined upon his knee. He couldn’t look at Hange again.

“What was it you said that night, Levi?” Nanaba continued, “just this once, then then never again?”

Levi’s thumb stroked over Petra’s knuckles as his mind drifted back to that night. He didn’t want to remember the warmth of the blanket enclosed around his body and Hange’s. He didn’t want to breathe in their scent; to feel the heat lifting from their cheeks; to have his throat run dry as they drew towards him…

“Levi, we can sleep here and never talk about this again. Or…”

Back in the present, Levi squeezed Petra’s hand.

“And I meant it…” he managed huskily, “...you guys can stay at a hotel next time.”

In part it was due to his own habit, but also out of a desire to extract himself from the table, as Levi took up their empty plates. He carried the dishes out to the kitchen and set them beside the sink. For a moment he gazed through their kitchen window at the view of Mike and Nanaba’s new neighbourhood. Rows of detached, two-storey houses stood adorned with gleaming windows and wooden balconies. The pair of them had taken the next step of their journey… their wedding was to follow in a few months…

Behind him there came the tinkling of glass and the sound of a door closing. Levi glanced over his shoulder.

“Um… just getting more wine.” Hange lifted the bottle they had taken from the fridge. Levi uttered a throaty sound halfway between a cough and a derisive snort.

“Sure as fuck you weren’t coming to wash these up…” Levi glowered at them until Hange took a step closer. They set their glass down beside Levi’s stack of plates. Through the open door and across the hall they could both hear the chatter of the other guests.

Levi turned away and began to run the water. Behind, Hange poured a little more wine into their glass. He couldn’t help but turn his head again. Hange was checking the label as they set the bottle down. With a sigh Levi lifted a plate and sank it into the dishwater, missing Hange’s eyes as they moved over him.

“Levi… do you want…”

He shifted around again to look at them. His mouth dried up before he could speak. He took in Hange’s broad shoulders beneath their white shirt; the deep, rich brown of their imploring eyes… There was always something so earnest, so fearless in their expression.

Levi’s eyes remained upon their face.

“...I’ll leave the bottle here.” They turned to leave the room, but stopped after taking a step. When they spoke again, their tone was low, conspiratorial.

“You know I won’t say anything, right…?”

Levi felt a ripple of tension travel down his arms. His hand seized up; the brush he was holding clattered onto the kitchen floor.

“Anyway, nothing happened that night…” Hange gave a little laugh without a trace of humour in it, “...after all, you made it pretty clear what you wanted.”

Slowly, they began to approach him.

“Just like I have to… right now.” Hange was smiling at him, a gentle blush dusting their cheeks. “You know when it’s your shot right? Now or never…”

The air itself lay thick and heavy. Levi was rooted to the spot, his mind clouded with them as they took another step. Oil and water. They couldn’t- Petra was seated in the next room, laughing with their friends.

Again, he remembered the blanket that had embraced them as they lay together on his couch. Levi could feel their warm breath on his mouth. It was just the two of them under night’s black canopy, threaded with the lights of a million stars. Whilst the rest of the world had slept, they had lain so closely together… they had almost…

“So Levi…”

Hange’s lip trembled before their jaw set. Behind their glasses, their eyes were glazed with a love so profound that it took Levi’s breath away.

“If I told you now that… despite it all… bad timing, lack of communication, people and work and life getting in the way… despite my initial hypothesis and all the test runs in my head… my findings are still the same.”

Hange took a shuddering breath.

“You are all I ever wanted. That’s… what I’ve decided.”

He felt their fingers trace his shirt sleeve.

“...what about you, Levi?”

Part 1: Now or Never (NSFW)

#sorry I kind of ran with my own thing!#hope you like it Val <3 #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levihan #levi x hange #petra ral #rivetra #levi x petra #mike zacharias #aot nanaba #mikenana #mike x nanaba #aot vets #tw cheating #attack on titan #snk #my writing

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prof-kenny · 7 months

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sleepy-sham · 1 month

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any chance of some rivetra memes pretty please?

So I have been trying so hard to come up with multiple memes for this ask but unfortunately the way I make my silly lil memes is I just happen to see stuff on the internet & be reminded of certain characters & I've only come across one thing that's reminded me of rivetra so far but I didn't want to leave this unanswered any longer😭 so my deepest apologies & I promise my eyes are peeled for more possible rivetra meme content 🫡🫡

I feel like Levi wouldn't be smiling with the sunglasses he'd just be stoic & unexpressive but the general vibe still reminded me of them

more aot memes

#aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #aot memes #attack on titan memes #snk meme #shingeki no kyojin memes #rivetra #levi ackerman #petra ral #levi x petra #asks

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rivapetosprmcy · 1 year

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Hello Rivetra Fandom!!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #petra ral #levi ackerman #rivetra #levi x petra #snk #aot

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avariantflaire · 5 months

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Levi wasn't ready to lose her.

In this period of grief, we see him stoop down by the smallest body in the line-up to recover their Scouts patch. It is the first and only time we ever see him do this in the series.

For someone whose philosophy is to make a choice with no regrets, regardless of the outcome; for someone who takes much time and care to reflect over his fallen comrades; we never see a scene like this again for the rest of SNK. He experiences this "Crushing Blow" (title of S1 E21, where his squad is slaughtered), and in "The Defeated" (S1 E22), stops to gaze - what was that, in his gaze? - at Petra's broken body by the tree.

Then he takes Petra's, and only Petra's, patch.

For every battle before and each battle henceforth, he comes prepared to lose everything. But in this one expedition, for this one soldier, he didn't. So he takes her patch.

"It's proof that they existed, at least for me." (Levi, in The Defeated)

He needed proof that she existed, because he wasn't ready to lose her.

#rivetra #levi x petra #levipet #aot #snk #yes a meme where levi's got a closet packed to the brim with scouts' patches flashed briefly in my mind #but unless he can afford to have such a collection #unless he can /reasonably/ take every soldiers' patch #he would most certainly only choose to take the proof of existence of those closest to him #or at the very least #those important to him #and it's petra #analysis.vtf #what now strikes me though is that he never takes a memento from erwin #unless you count erwin's final order as that memento #or even armin himself #but that is a whole other post!#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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isuckatwritingsobenice · 8 months

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Bad Idea Right?

A/N: Bad Idea Right? By Olivia Rodrigo with Levi from my Fame AU story. If you read this story it’ll make more sense. Songfic!

Warning: Smut, Swearing,smoking, Cheating, Jealousy, Drinking, P in V, nudity

Nav! // Masterlist

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months

But I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone

And I'm sensing some undertone

And I'm right here with all my friends

But you're sending me your new address

And I know we're done, I know we're through

But, God, when I look at you

‘Meet me at eight.’ Is all the text reads. I sit there staring at it, unsure what to do. Hange is hosting a kickback at their place, but I’ve been here for a while. I only came because Levi wasn’t going to be here. I didn’t need to worry about running into him. But now, he texts me asking me to come over. Should I go?

“Hey, you okay?” Hange asks me as they hand me a drink. I nod and accept it, shutting my phone off and tossing my head back to finish the drink. After the week I’ve had, I need this.

“I’m fine, just tired. Works been kicking my ass.” I respond, and Hange nods with a frown.

“Well, at least your out of the house. Let me know if you need anything.” Hange says, and I nod as they walk over to Erwin and Armin who are having their own conversation.

‘Hey, How’s the party?’ Megumi’s text reads. I sigh and open it, typing out my message before another comes in from Levi.

‘I’m getting take out. It’s 7:28, I expect you here by 8, 8:10 the latest.’ I frown and linger in the chat with Megumi. I’m sure if I tell him no he won’t hate me. But I know we shouldn’t see each other. We shouldn’t even be friends. He cheated on me. With Petra of all people. Why should I go over? I’ve moved on, I’ve started a new relationship. I don’t need him anymore.

But I want him. Quickly, I text Megumi back. ‘Hey, the parties going great. I don’t feel so well though, so I might crash at Hange’s tonight.’ I respond, before texting again. ‘I’m gonna have a few more drinks so I might not answer.’ I send the text before going to Levi’s message. I write to him. ‘Fine. I’ll be there by 8:20, don’t rush me or I’ll take longer.’ I reply, before he begins to type, the three dots appearing on my screen. ‘Don’t take long.’ Is all Levi says, before I roll my eyes. He’s so needy. ‘8:30’ I type back, before shutting my phone off and tossing it to the side. He’ll live by a few minutes of me being late, it’s not the end of the world.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

“Okay okay, one more drink.” I giggle, leaning on Annie’s shoulder as Hange hands me another drink. At this point I’m not even sure what time it is. It’s late, the music is loud. Eren is rolling a blunt with Zeke while Mikasa is pouring shots.

“You said that a few minutes ago.” Connie says, who’s a bit more sober than I am, but only because he got here late with Sasha and Niccolo.

“Shut up. Just, just let me be okay.” I respond. Annie lifts her glass and taps it against Sasha’s before tapping mine too. The three of us toss our heads back and take our drinks.

“Levi! You made it!” I hear Hange say happily. Fuck. I forgot. I check around looking for the time before I see it on the stove across the room. 10:57. Almost two hours after I told Levi I’d go see him. I don’t look at him, instead I point to the bottle and ask Sasha to get me another drink.

“Let’s take another shot.” I say, and Sasha nods leaning down to grab the bottle.

“No no, you’ve had enough.” I hear, and at that theres a hand on my back. I take my head off Annie’s shoulder and look to see Levi.

“Hey Levi.” Annie slurs, and we both laugh. He just nods before peeling me off her further.

“I’m taking you home.” He says, before I roll my eyes.

“Levi! Don’t leave! You just got here!” Hange whines, and I nod in agreement.

“Hange’s right, at least have a drink with us.” Connie says, and Jean comes back from wherever the fuck he was.

“When did you get here?” Sasha asks him and he shrugs.

“I’ve always been here I was just in the bathroom.” Jean says, and Sasha laughs.

“Take a shot with us. We have rum.” Erwin says with a slight smile. Levi rolls his eyes and let’s me go, Erwin reaching over to the kitchen island to get Levi a shot glass.

“Fine. One shot. Then we’re leaving.” Levi says looking at me, and I just nod lazily as I hug Annie again, who just smiles and doesn’t say much else. Even drunk, she’s still relatively quiet.

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it's fine

“Just one more right? Just one more?” Mikasa teases Levi as he takes another shot with Erwin and Zeke. He’s on his sixth, I’m not sure which one I'm on. Levi just flips her off before setting his glass down.

"Fuck you." Levi says, and Mikasa laughs and leans into Eren who is high out of his mind.

"Y/n you okay?" Zeke asks as I lay my head against the couch.

"Mhm~, just tired 's all." I respond, my words blur together.

"Someones had too much to drink." Jean jokes and pokes my side. I jerk forward and laugh, before Eren holds up his blunt to me.

“ You want?” He asks, and I contemplate it for a minute. I haven’t smoked all night, might as well. I nod and he moves from his place near Mikasa to over to me, sliding the blunt between my fingers so I don’t burn myself. His eyes are slightly pink, showing how high he really was even though he seemed calm.

I lift the blunt to my lips, watching as Hange walks over to the speaker to change the song. Only now do I realize how many people are here, and that it isn’t just my friends but other people I don’t know.

Before I can register it, Levi’s next to me, his hand around my wrist as he takes the blunt and puts it out on the ashtray in front of me. He pulls me to stand, and leads me towards the door of the apartment. I wave to everyone goodbye, leaning onto Levi for support as I giggle about being over dramatic. He doesn’t answer me though, and I know where this is going.

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

I know I should stop, but I can't

And I told my friends I was asleep

But I never said where or in whose sheets

And I pull up to your place on the second floor

And you're standing, smiling at the door

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

But I really can't remember when

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” I say, and Levi doesn’t answer, instead pressing himself closer to me. We’re on his couch, my shoes are god knows where. My shirt is somewhere else entirely while his hands fumble with the back of my bra. Had we both been sober we would’ve been past this by now, but we’re not.

“Shut up and help me. I cant think with you like this.” Levi says, clearly frustrated. I sigh and shake my head, sitting up. He sits and stares at me before I say it again.

“ Levi this is wrong.” I say, and he frowns. He stands and moves away from me, on the farther side of his living room. “Your right.” He says, looking down. He stands by his large windows, the balcony showing behind him. It’s dark out, the street lights doing nothing but define his body even more than it already is. I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

This is wrong.

He has a girlfriend.

He cheated on me. With Petra. He isn’t mine anymore, he’s her’s.

If Megumi knew he would kill me. If he was here he would be so disappointed. I look back at Levi, who’s looking at me. His eyes are trailing down my body, and for the first time in a long time I feel self conscious under his gaze.

It’s been so long.

If Megumi was here he’d ask why I would do this to him.

But he isn’t here.

“Ah fuck it.” I say, standing and walking over to him. He doesn’t have time to question me. I pull him into a kiss, moving to undo the straps of my bra, letting it fall off my shoulders. “This is probably a bad idea.” I say against his lips, and he laughs, his hand tapping my thigh, before I feel him pick me up.

“Maybe, but it’s the best thing we’ve ever agreed on.”

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it's fine

“Levi- Levi fuck-“ It’s hard to be quiet now. The blankets aren’t even on the bed anymore, neither are our clothes. Levi doesn’t let up though, his forehead against mine.

“What? Missed me too much?” He asks, but he doesn’t let me answer, instead his lips crash into mine, teeth smacking against one another in a hungry kiss. My legs wrap tighter around his waist, pulling him closer.

“I did. Fuck, I’m close.” I say, almost entirely out of breath. The heavy breathing makes me lightheaded, the pillows long scattered off the bed, so my head hits the mattress.

“He can’t fuck you like I can. He doesn’t know you like I do.” Levi says, his brows scrunched up together. He’s upset.

“He doesn’t, he could never.” I say back, and it’s true. Megumi was nice, he was a good guy. But he wasn’t Levi. Levi grins at this, grabbing my face and pulling me into a rough kiss. It’s enough to make my back arch, enough to send me over the edge.

This is a horrible idea.

But if it’s so bad why does it feel so good?

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

Can't two people reconnect?

The biggest lie I ever said

I just tripped and fell into his bed

My brain goes-

I can't hear my thoughts

The biggest lie I ever said

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

I just tripped and fell into his bed

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