#like see something so heinous on the news and then see people support it?

[auraworkshop]

MY STORY OF SUCCESSFULY CONQUERING THE VOID STATE

Trigger warning: Sexual abuse, trauma etc.

I was raised in a loving and nurturing household. My childhood was hunky-dory and I remember myself as a bright and happy child, frolicking around in a carefree environment. I was pampered by a set of very loving and supportive parents. Alas, my protected bubble shattered, when at the age of 11, I went through sexual abuse and my life changed. The incident led to repressed anxiety, depression, and lingering PTSD for almost a decade.

I was sexually abused at the age of 11

Considering I was just 11-years-old when the heinous incident took place, I was too young to register the gravity or impact of such a crime. Revisiting the incident is still very painful. It happened about nine years ago, at an outstation wedding. I was sleeping alone in a hotel room, when the abuser entered my room and forced himself upon me. I remember distinctly how dark the room was. I was in a deep slumber and didn't realize that someone other than me was in the room as well. I wasn't able to respond or react, as I couldn't escape or stop the person. I was left in pain.

While I did inform my parents immediately, for some reason, the abuse and its record got shushed. My parents didn't want it to be made public or for it to harm my image in the society. Their response towards my trauma festered as a scar in the coming years.Living with depression, anxiety and PTSD As much as I tried to move on from that horrendous night, it kept coming back to me.

Unfortunately, I was too young to repair the damage. I began to feel lethargic and fatigued all the time. Something as small as brushing my teeth became a laborious task. I withdrew from merrymaking, public engagements, and activities that I had found joy in earlier. I failed to find any joy in life anymore.

I made many attempts. I think they started as a result of feeling unhappy with myself. All the failed attempts were a call for help and desperation. I felt helpless and alone and I couldn't dare to face the demon. I began to get triggered by even the mere mention of weddings. I think, my parents untimely and apathetic response to my suffering was the nail in the coffin-I lost trust in anybody whom I considered close. The replaying of the incident, over and over again, left my conscious and spirit bruised and broken. I became quiet and reclusive. This was when my life slowly started to change, as I found out about law of assumption and then the void state. After knowing that I can change my life completely through the void I tried every single night till yesterday to enter the void state at any cost. I was so desperate to get in. I slapped myself every night to enter otherwise my life would never change and I'll also be miserable. I did everything that can be done but still I saw no progress. I slowly started to get super jealous of other people's success stories. Everytime I saw a new void success story here on Tumblr, I would cry so hard and isolate myself. Yeah :) I was so Harsh on myself.

But, Then I found out about you and your subliminals and then about your paid custom subliminal and how magically they work, and yeah I was a bit hesitant to pay you for the subliminal as I got scammed by people so many times but all those success people got from using your subliminal boosted my motivation and trust in you! and see, my money was worth it!!

I listened to that sub on loop for 3 hours for 4 days continuously and the night of the 4th day I ended up in the void. It was instant and so effortless, it all happened so effortlessly. I never thought I would enter like this after beating, slapping, and isolating myself to enter.

Thankyou for helping me, thankyou for the hardwork you put in your subliminals, thankyou for your sweet and motivating words ♡

Bye to Tumblr, all my fav bloggers, anons and Aura.

Signing off...

Wow! You did a great job my girl, Your success story is truly a GEM.

Sorry for everything you went through, I LOVE YOU <3

And Thankyou so much for taking your time and writing this beautiful success story to all of us 🤍

#void #void state #void success #void state success story #law of assumption

[kanansdume]

Man, that scene between Luthen and Saw was SO INTERESTING.

Because we don't know a lot about Luthen, much like Saw, but we DO know more about Saw, just like Luthen seems to. The audience isn't aligned with one character or the other necessarily, we can go back and forth a little.

Luthen's lack of explained backstory, the fact that he's always putting up some kind of act, some kind of front, means that we as the audience don't really know him either. It's hard to know exactly what he stands for and what his plans are with Cassian. He's not affiliated with Saw, he isn't explicitly affiliated with Bail Organa yet, and he's not affiliated with any of the other known organizations we've been given in mainstream Star Wars before (the Separatist/Republic divide from TCW). All we know is that he SEEMS to be anti-Imperial. But one of the last people we were told was pretty firmly anti-Imperial turned out to just be out for himself.

And on the other hand, we DO know Saw. We know his origins on Onderon and the death of his sister. We know just how long he's been fighting oppression of his people. We know what he does and what he becomes in the future. We know that he's willing to do some pretty heinous things in the name of his cause, but also that he's one of the only people aware that the Death Star is something that needs to be figured out and is trying to track it down to keep it from becoming the problem it has the capacity to become. We know Saw. The good, the sympathetic, and the ugly.

So it's interesting to see this conversation with Luthen, Luthen who says "we need a little extra oppression in order to actually spark a real rebellion," which seems ruthless enough to fall in line with Saw's own tactics, except that Saw's not willing to risk his own people, his own cause, for someone else's mission. He's unwilling to help someone else if there isn't something about it that helps his personal agenda.

And we also see Luthen refuse to pick a side beyond bringing down the Empire, arguing that they can do more together than they can separately, and that their infighting can wait until the Empire's been taken down. Saw's choices to protect his own people for his own agenda go against all of his big talk about how everyone chooses a side but he's the only one really fighting for the galaxy. Saw's more inclined to let petty infighting keep him from helping other people in favor of just trying to do everything himself and assuming he can do it all himself. Which isn't unsympathetic when absolutely no one listens to him later about the Death Star, so in some ways he's not WRONG that if he wants something done he just needs to do it himself.

We don't know who Luthen is really, we don't know why he does what he does and makes the choices we see him make, which makes him inherently untrustworthy but also leaves the option open for him to surprise us with his alliances. We do know who Saw is and why he does what he does, which means even if we don't LIKE him, we can trust that we know what choices he'll make. We can trust that we know where he stands.

Saw stands at the front with his people, he's hiding out in cold caves with his people and making absolutely no bones about who he is and what he believes. He's got nothing to hide from anyone.

Luthen stands behind all of his recruits, letting them do the work while he stays on Coruscant in relative safety drumming up support from senators to fund his efforts and just passing information where it needs to go. He's hiding from everyone.

This scene was incredible because so much went unsaid and lives in just... the audience understanding who Saw is as a character and how that juxtaposes with the relative little of what we known of Luthen.

Which seems like such a wonderful way to use a legacy character, to take the fact that this character has been around for a while and that most audience members will know him and his story, to compare against a character who is completely new and unexplored. That dynamic that the audience has with the characters has been transposed into the dynamic the characters have with EACH OTHER and defines the place they currently hold in the narrative and its themes. It's masterful.

#andor #andor show #andor series #sw andor #star wars andor #luthen rael #saw gerrera #andor spoilers

[thebunnycruise]

Less of a question and more of a comment, Im sorry if its in the wrong spot lol, I just had to say this. I promise it’s not a hate comment, and sorry for the length.

I have never in my life seen something that has made me feel so physically ill. I feel genuinely sick reading this, and mentally exhausted from it. I have never read anything that has ever made me want to do something about these topics so badly. I hate this comic, and feel every fiber of my body crumble that I can’t do anything to help these women. It’s such an uncomfortable and painful feeling to see such heinous acts being done to people who i know are just down on their luck and never deserved this. I hate to sound cliche, but this was the eye opener of the fucking century.

You should be proud of your work, you’re doing something that I haven’t ever seen work as effectively and as potently as this.

One question I guess; I unfortunately can’t donate, but what else could us readers do? This comic destroyed me and I’m genuinely desperate at this point to see some happy ending come out of this, and I don’t know what I can do.

Thank you for this question! And sorry for ruining your mood, I think... TL/DR: Giving a shit is free. I recall this one lady being interviewed by a local news reporter regarding her views on the homeless problem in her neighbourhood, and she said something that stuck in my mind: "The more I have to [pick up] human feces, the less empathy I have." I think that one comment really hit home why we're at this point in society. People connect with the characters on the Bunny Cruise because we see their backstories, how they got to where they are, what they've lost along the way, what they dream of for the future, and how they've suffered in trying to reach for that dream. But, even though we know the guy OD'ing on the sidewalk passed out in his own sick must have had a life, have dreams, it's not something we think of in the moment. The difference between the Cruise and real life is that the girls have each other to support them through it, but we will walk over or side-step the heroin addict on the sidewalk without a second glance. That "mentally drained" and "physically ill" feeling is the cognitive dissonance talking. It's when we're forced to confront an perspective that challenges our way of thinking, or in this case, face a fear that perhaps the only difference between us and 67, 10, the twins, or that guy on the sidewalk, is just pure luck. For a lot of us, this is something very uncomfortable, and it's much easier to put it out of our heads and move on with our lives. And politicians take advantage of this fear and apathy far too often. Famously, Mark Sutcliffe (Calling you out, asshole), the recently elected Mayor of Ottawa, campaigned on zoning land for more large, single-family homes rather than more compact, affordable housing. He called it "preserving the community and keeping it safe", but we all know what that really means by now. Or they will call for increased police spending and promise to be tougher on crime (which Sutcliffe also did). Because having bad luck or being neglected and abused by capitalism is a crime now... I think the easiest thing to do, is to just think about it, and speak up when the issue comes up. All too often, things like homeless shelters, affordable housing projects, and safe injection sites, don't get built because people don't want to think about the people living on the fringe of society. But the thing is, people with nowhere to go have to go somewhere.

I donate to a women's shelter because I've worked with women fleeing violence in the past, and it's an important cause for me. I also realize that I am in a very fortunate position to be able to pay rent and have a little left over to put toward charity work. But speaking up and spreading the word is free. The next time someone wants to veto a safe injection site project, speak up against them, ask them what millionaire real estate firm is lining their pockets. Vote for that city councilor campaigning to build shelters and affordable homes. Have a relative who says "the homeless deserve what's happening to them"? Shut them down, ruin that christmas dinner. They sound like a dick anyway.

It's not much, but I think if we can all treat our fellow humans a little better instead of kicking them to the curb, we can make a bit of a difference in the world.

#ask the bunny cruise #ask me anything

[gffa]

To clarify, I didn't mean that ask as defending her BS. I more meant actually remembering that mess was surprising. I thought it was dead, buried and forgotten when her stories were pretty much erased and she hasn't come back to the franchise since

Haha, apologies for any snarkiness that you got blasted by then! And I hope everyone else sees this clarification, because you don't deserve to get blasted any further! And, like, I get that sometimes Star Wars fandom gets way too bitter/hateful about some things that shouldn't matter anymore (so I get where you're coming from!), but I'll defend that this one is warranted and that it's still relevant because her work does still have influence in the fandom and a lot of us have run into people still supporting her takes. She hasn't written anything new since she flounced, but the books she wrote are still quoted and moments from those books still get woven into current fandom, just like pretty much all of Legends does. I mean, the JA/JQ books are just as old and they are still VERY much going re: being assumed background canon for a big portion of fandom, you know? Traviss' stuff is kinda like that in a lot of spaces. So, coming down on Traviss' bullshit is motivated by the really heinous things she's said/supported and that she does still have an affect on today's fandom. I mean, people are free to like her stuff if they want, we're not your parents, we're not going to come over there and make you clean your room or whatever, but when her work contributes to some of the comments we get, as well as the stuff she was up to on Twitter (liking pro-Trump/BLM-critical tweets) is something I think is fair to still keep bringing up, since I'm not aware of her having moved on from any of that. (I'm not asking that anyone has to join us in this endeavor, you're fine to just scroll past it and forget that she exists at all, and I hope that you don't feel too raw from the frustration a lot of us feel over this topic, it's not about you, you're not defending her or anything! And I hope I can explain a bit more where some of us are coming from here.)

[scientologisabethmoss]

in so much pain right now, knowing it doesn’t even approach what gazans are experiencing at the moment, doesn’t approach what the loved ones of the israeli victims of the attacks are feeling. just tremendous sadness and anger.

all i want to do is talk and be with other jews who love being jewish, are proud of their jewish heritage, and who feel (and have felt) alienated from israel. i want to be with other jews right now and have a space to talk about our anger at israel and its ethnic cleansing of palestinians and how we can do something to fight back against this violence, this injustice, because it’s what our jewish education has instilled in us to do. and i want to be in a place with people who feel supportive of our concerns of rising anti-semitism, who understand that though we do not support israel - or any ethnostate for that matter - we probably have loved ones, or loved ones of loved ones, who live in israel and have been impacted by this violence. the global jewish community is so small that even if you don’t support the state of israel, you probably know someone who lives there and is affected.

and you know that israel is an apartheid state, you know that what israel is doing and has done to palestinians is heinous and goes against the geneva conventions, you know the power imbalance at play and that the most powerful country in the world financially backs israel and its crimes against palestinians. and there’s clarity in that, in the ethical stance you must take against injustice like that. in that way, things are simple.

but then you think about your great-grandparents and their parents, refugees who fled from pogroms and who ended up in the US. if they had remained in the pale of settlement for a few more decades, they probably would have been murdered. and if not, they likely would have sought refuge in israel after the war. and you think of your great-grandparents in new york, who housed refugees from germany in the 1930s, who were outspoken against fascism and saw their people murdered abroad and tried to live righteous lives and who had a dream of a jewish homeland and bought israel bonds to make try to make that dream a reality. these are people, my descendants, who wept with joy and relief in 1948 when israel came into being, the same year as the nakba.

and now you’re 29 in 2023 and don’t really believe in a jewish homeland anymore because you don’t believe in ethnostates. and your 94-year-old grandmother hates bibi, has been disgusted with israel for decades now, and feels like the dream of israel, the dream of her parents and grandparents, has failed. but was that dream of a jewish homeland ever valid in the first place?

you think of all of this, of the legacies of colonialism and the shoah and the nakba and all this suffering. you think of diaspora, of intergenerational pain, of memory, of who has power now and who had power a hundred years ago. and you want an outlet, a jewish community who Gets It, but you split with your previously long-term reform synagogue, the temple you became a bat mitzvah at, because you and your family were so disgusted by the zionist words of its new rabbi. and you are so thankful for and supportive of organizations like if not now and jewish voice for peace, orgs that are standing with gaza and against harm to civilians during this time, but then you see the term “jewish supremacy” used in a post to describe the actions of israel, and you think, have we completely lost the plot???

and if that’s the inside of my head right now, i know that must be the inside of the heads of so many other jews worldwide. and so when non-jews who aren’t palestinian either say that you are complacent in palestinian genocide if you admit that things, for you, are complicated, you shrivel and turn inward and think, who could i possibly share my feelings with? and if i can’t somehow share my feelings, how can i make space inside myself to properly speak up for justice, to work against israeli apartheid and attain equal rights for palestinians?

things are simple and they are complicated, but if things are both simple and complicated, they must just be complicated. i hear myself and think i must be going insane, but there has to be a scenario in which saying things are nuanced is not a cop-out or an excuse for genocide.

#writing this and posting it is just so i can function the rest of the day #this is for me first and foremost #if this bothers you please keep scrolling #because that’s what i’ve had to do with a lot of other posts these last few days #even from mutuals i really respect #literally the only reason why i’m leaving reblogs on is because this could give another jew a sense of being seen and understood #all my love and support to the global palestinian community at this time and to the people in gaza

[annab-nana]

my little gay heart would love a "I think... I'm in love with (Name)" || "Congrats on being the last one to find out" with robin

you and @demxters both seemed to be interested in this so here you both go ladies :)

warnings: not proofread

❀ masterlist ❀

"we should start one of those 'you rule, you suck' boards for you, but instead of for girls, it's just for encounters with y/n," steve teased, reminiscing on their ice-cream scooping days before everything that happened with the russians and the mall. now, steve and robin donned heinous vests and worked at the video store. 

robin groaned and let her head fall to the counter with a loud thud. 

"you okay?" steve checked. the girl was dramatic as she was being right now, but that had to hurt. 

"no." robin turned to steve. "i don't know how to act around y/n and i don't know why and now, i have a headache because i'm an idiot."

"i have a headache because you're an idiot." robin frowned at steve's words while his eyes flitted behind her before he let out a disbelieving chuckle. "speak of the devil."

robin froze while steve's smile grew. he left to 'put away some returns' so that he could be close enough to hear but far enough to not be seen. he watched as you entered the store and took note of how your smile grew when you laid eyes on a nervous robin. 

"hi robin." you couldn't sound more excited to see her. she was one of your favorite people in the world. 

"h-hey, welcome to family video," she stuttered out her greeting that she has said probably a thousand times. your giggle eased her nerves a little though. 

"thank you," you returned while leaning against the counter, "has gremlins been checked back in yet? aaron and i have been dying to watch it."

oh yeah, aaron. you always raved about aaron, about how cute he was, how funny he was, how sweet he was. everything about him you loved. just from the movies you guys picked, robin felt he was little more on the immature side, but she wasn't going to say anything about it. 

"uh, yeah, i think steve is putting it back up right now," robin shared, disappointment barely detectable in her tone. 

"is it a good movie for six-year-olds?" you inquired. you didn't want it to be too scary for him.  

robin's brows furrowed. "uh, yeah, i think so. who else is watching with you?"

"aaron." it was your turn to be confused. 

"aaron is six?" things were starting to click into place for robin. 

"he'll be seven in february."

robin had never felt such relief. "oh, cool."

steve placed the gremlins tape on the counter as he walked by, shot a wink in robin's direction out of your view, and moved to the other side of the store to put up the rest of the returns he held. 

"did you not know aaron was my little brother this whole time?" you inquired when robin finished up renting out the movie to you. you'd be lying if you said you didn't notice how her mood shifted when you brought up aaron. you noticed everything about her. robin buckley fascinated you. you adored her. there was probably nothing she could do that you wouldn't notice. 

"no, i-i thought he was like a really good friend or something." you knew what she was thinking. 

"something like a boyfriend?" you teased. her eyes widened and you knew she was about to blabber so you leaned in closer to whisper to her. "just between you and me, i'm more into girls."

then, you grabbed the movie, thanked her, and left. 

"so how'd that go?" steve asked after rushing over to see robin's blank stare. 

her eyes moved to steve's and she admitted, "i think i'm in love with y/n."

steve chuckled. "congrats on being the last one to find out."

remember to support writers & reblog :)

turn on notifications for @annab-library to be notified when i post something new!

#stranger things sleepover #stranger things #blurbs #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley blurbs #jellyfishbeansontoast #samwlscns #❀ izzy ❀ #❀ elle ❀

[fishsticksloser]

I understand where you're coming from, and I think I has an answer but not a solution for sure.

(I do not support Tcest or anything of the sort. I just have an understanding of the why)

I've been wondering for a while why Tcest is so prominent and so wide spread in the tmnt community compared to other Fandoms as someone who's been in and currently in over 20, let me put my 2 cents in this discussion.

I think this issue Derives from cannon. And the fact there's such a Small cast of continuous characters.

In the Fandom community, people like to ship, I feel this is just human nature. In other fandoms there's normally a obvious pairing for any character due to how the cast of characters is formed

Examples such as Spider-Man has Gwen, Luigi has Daisy, and Sonic has Amy.

And this is true for even more obscure characters such as villains or sidekicks or npc's and if there isn't one the Fandom will make one up from one interaction. Sans x toriel, Jessie x Delia, tartaglia x zhongli

In tmnt it's different, in tmnt it's focused on family and old people. The only obvious romantic pairing is either Casey or April. So, for people who want to ship two characters together but don't have any to ship, they will do the heinous act of Tcest.

I feel it comes from people who don't like to make OC x character but not having an actual obvious ship to latch onto for their fav turtle. This is what sets tmnt apart from other fandoms

The lack of safe romance for the turtles.

In most other fandoms the main character Always has another person who isn't really old, family, or a child. To ship. Even if their is no romance between them.

Rottmnt has a larger cast then other Iterations? Yes. Do the main cast form a strong bond with those other characters that is safe for shipping? No, not really.

The amount of Tcest isn't because this Fandom is full of freaks, it's full of people who've been raised on tmnt and had their morals shaved down. Due to the lack of safety.

This doesn't make it right or in any way ok, it's just an explanation.

If I were to help find a slaution, it would have to be in making a larger more relatable cast of possible romantic ships.

Again, TCEST IS NOT OK. It is inherently wrong and is going to cause mental damage to the fandom's youth. And has/will have a huge impact on people's mental health and sense of morality. This will have a permanent stain and needs to be stopped in this large scale. AT. THE. LEAST.

But I don't think we could do anything about it in its current state. I think we need to hope mutant mayhem will have a larger cast of main shippable characters that stick to next Iterations otherwise I feel this Fandom will be doomed on the internet...

I somewhat agree where you're coming from. But I have to also disagree. Just a bit.

You make a lot of great points and I just want to elaborate a bit on that.

So yes, I agree, the main cast is very limited. But also... Like you don't see this with other children's shows like Bluey where it's family oriented. Though Bluey is new, it still has the same family orientation.

Also in 2 iterations, Raph has Mona Lisa. There's also Usagi (who people ship '03 Leo with).

And if you have a main tmnt iteration you like, why not incorporate past characters?

That's just my thoughts.

But I also stated in a comment on my original post: society has become so focused on sex. So so focused. Everything is sexual anymore. Like me myself, I'm demisexual, but that's wrong cause I'm not experiencing, right? Like not everything has to be based on sex. Not everything has to be something. Something can just exist. There's nothing wrong with that.

#{fish talks•°} #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

[navree]

How can you humanize Maegor , if you will make a show about him?

It depends on how far back you're willing to go in his life, because really up until he takes the crown, you can do quite a bit to humanize him and make him someone people want to engage with, without woobifying him or trying to excuse the truly heinous things he does. Starting backstory onwards, there are lot of ways to do this. There's a lot of room to play with in his childhood and the interpersonal relationships that should be his strongest tethers to humanity, but aren't: his relationship with his brother, his relationship with his mother, and his relationship with his father.

Aenys and Maegor are a relationship that was doomed to fail since birth. For one, while the age gap isn't huge, five years is still pretty significant in terms of differences in development as children, which definitely got in the way of any bonding. For two, they also appear to have largely grown up separately, with Aenys spending most of his time by Aegon's side in King's Landing, and Maegor being raised on Dragonstone with Visenya, before the two essentially switched places with Aegon at Dragonstone and Visenya overseeing the construction of the Red Keep in King's Landing. For three, there's also the external factors, such as their incredibly different personalities and viewpoints on basically everything, as well as the fact that, when Maegor was born, Aenys was only very recently removed from the complete breakdown he had due to his trauma over his mother's sudden death, and likely still wasn't in a state to be trying to forge new bonds with anyone who wasn't Quicksilver (and Aegon, but Aegon's grandfathered in by being his literal dad). So Maegor, who we know wasn't making friends on Dragonstone and just in general was probably really isolated from kids his own age due to it being Dragonstone (not unlike how we see with Shireen Baratheon) also isn't getting any kind of connection from anyone close to his own age throughout his entire childhood.

Really, the only person Maegor is close to in any capacity is his mother, Visenya. She's the parent he grew up with, his primary caregiver and his closest relationship not just in childhood, but likely throughout his entire life. In the nature vs nurture debate on childrearing, she's the one who was providing the nurture. Nearly everything about Maegor, his personality and his view of the world and his personal philosophies and his love map in his brain, among many other things, all of that was shaped by Visenya and her influence on him and her care and devotion for him. And with no one else really around to provide him any sort of companionship that he might have needed, and with his other parent being incredibly distant and barely a parent, Maegor likely latched onto her incredibly strongly. I think, if asked, Maegor would say that, should he be found capable of love, Visenya would be the person he loved the most in his life (I'm of the opinion that his relationship with Tyanna was him trying to find a significant other that most reminded him of his beloved mother, not entirely dissimilar to the way that Henry VIII felt that an ideal wife would be one who was almost identical to Elizabeth of York). And we know that this is something that persisted long after childhood, into his adulthood Visenya was his strongest supporter and Maegor relied on her a lot early in his reign, and was publicly devastated when he learned that she had died. His mother was the only parent he ever really knew as a parent, certainly the family member he loved most, adored even, especially in such sharp distinction with Aegon as a distant father. And speaking of that distant father...

I love Aegon, he's one of my absolute favorite Targs, but he was practically just a parent in name only to his second son. And that's going to do a number on someone, no matter who they are. Maegor's father doesn't much care for his mother, certainly doesn't seem to care for him at all personally, and despite the fact that Maegor is probably far more like Aegon, and a far worthier successor, than Aenys, Aegon still dotes on his eldest while barely spending any time with Maegor. And it's not because of anything Maegor's done, or even anything Aenys has done: it's entirely because of Aenys's mother. Aenys is Aegon's favorite, his precious son, not because of anything Aenys has done to earn that, but simply because he is the son of Aegon's beloved Rhaenys, and that his very existence is a way of having Rhaenys still with him after her disappearance/death. We know that Aegon was forever incredibly affected by what happened to Rhaenys and that he never stopped loving her, given that he openly wept when he held Rhaena and was informed that she was named after her grandmother. Meanwhile, there's Maegor, whose own mother's relationship with his father was never very good (marriage of duty for them vs the Aegon/Rhaenys marriage of desire) and had become incredibly cold and distant by the time that he was born, and you can very easily see how that might ultimately affect a kid. He's watching his mother be completely ignored by his dad just for being the wrong woman, he's dealing with himself being completely ignored and passed over in love and affection just because he's the son of the wrong woman, because his mother isn't the lost ghost that Aegon loved and won't ever be able to stop loving. How much of Maegor's prowess in fighting, not to mention the unchecked aggression he showed during training, was borne of trying to impress his martially skilled father and being upset when it didn't work? How much of his continued presence in tourneys and melées was to show Aegon that he was a much better son than Aenys, that he deserved the love Aegon was freely giving his brother just as much? Was there ever a time when he resented Visenya for being his mother when that was enough to make Aegon uninterested, and did he ever hate himself for blaming the wrong person, or blaming anyone at all? How much did he internalize his own feelings about it as the relationship never got any warmer? How did he feel when Aegon finally noticed him enough to knight him himself, and make him the youngest knight in the realm at that? Did Maegor ever want to talk to him about it once he was a young man, did he ever want to try and forge a stronger relationship on his own merits as an adult, did he ever even try?

There's also the matter of Balerion, which is as much its own relationship as a subset of anything that can be played with as it pertains to Aegon and Maegor. For one, we know that Maegor point blank refused to claim any dragon because he felt that Balerion was the only one worthy of him. And you can take that at face value, but you can also go deeper into it, into the ideas that Maegor might not be consciously aware of. Maybe he wants to try and connect with his father on some level through the dragon bond. Maybe he looks at how Aegon gives Aenys so much, his companionship and his throne and his sword and his love, Hell he even gives Aenys a Valyrian bride (Alyssa Velaryon) but demands that Maegor settle for a simple Westerosi, as if he's lesser than and not the blood of old Valyria. And still he waits to see if maybe Aegon will give him something. Maybe once Aegon is too old for dragonriding, he'll give Maegor Balerion, or at least give Maegor the opportunity to try, to prove himself as Aegon's son, to have that connection. And when Aegon doesn't, when it's still Aenys getting everything Maegor might not even realize he wants, that's just another disappointment for him.

But Maegor does get Balerion anyway, once Aegon dies. He finally gets a connection to Aegon that's his alone, and it's after Aegon is already dead and likely after Maegor was already hardening into the man he would ultimately be remembered as. Not to mention, even on its own, Balerion and Maegor's bond is a good way to show a human element to the man. I've always maintained that, when it comes to Targaryens, the most unconditionally loving and the most openly affection and emotional we should see them should really be with the dragons. With their magic and their Valyrian blood and old world roots and just everything about them, even if you don't subscribe to Targaryen exceptionalism, they are pretty far removed from the place they actually live; culturally and ethnically and socially, they are not Westerosi and certainly in Maegor's time, don't see themselves or are seen by others as Westerosi. The dragons, products of Valyria's heyday, are the closest living beings that Targaryens can relate to, and this is doubly important when it comes to Balerion, who was born during the reign of the Valyrian Freehold, who was alive before the Doom. Balerion is a living cultural heritage, and for someone as isolated as Maegor is (and, as we see in his actions re: his marriages and the Faith, as divorced from Westerosi customs and standards as he is), having that connection is probably the deepest one he'd have, bar maybe his mother, and even then, despite that closeness and love, their mutually cold personalities probably made it hard to be open in any deep affection once Maegor started growing up. Dragons and their riders are practically one being, they feel each other's pains and pleasures and angers and grudges and triumphs, and Maegor having something like that, along with the connection to a father he never really was connected to, adds a human element to the man that he was, despite the fact that he used Balerion to do terrible things.

You can also do a lot with Maegor's actions before his own kingship, specifically the reign of his half-brother Aenys. In spite of their differences and distances, in spite of the shadow of Aegon and the relationships he had with his sisters that affected his relationship with his own sons in turn, Aenys does embrace Maegor with open arms. He gives him Blackfyre, another possession of Aegon's that Maegor must have coveted, and he promises that they'll rule together. They're both adults now, and Aenys seems emotionally sensitive enough to have realized that Maegor probably has some deep rooted issues borne out of things that were set in motion before he was even conceived. And while Visenya might have scoffed at the gestures Aenys made for Maegor, Maegor appears to have taken them really seriously. He personally crushes a rebellion against Aenys in the Vale, and makes huge showings of his loyalty by fighting really hard for his brother against his foes. When Aenys makes him his Hand, Maegor takes that responsibility really seriously and is willing to obey Aenys as his Lord and King, as well as protect him. This seems to have been loyalty that was reciprocated, since it's noted that, when Aenys exiles Maegor for his bigamy, he does it because he felt he had no other option than to be mad at Maegor for what he did, due to the huge public outcry, and even then he still offers Maegor a way out. He only exiles him because Maegor refuses to set Alys aside (another way to humanize Maegor, he takes Alys as a wife despite it being a big taboo for most Westerosi and in spite of her being from a pretty minor noble House, and he refuses to leave her even at the cost of losing his home, he keeps her by his side and he refuses to give her up when there were likely a shitton of better options to deal with his childlessness, to say nothing of women from greater Houses with more potential for him politically, but he CHOSE Alys), since Aenys felt that this was the only choice left to him. And Maegor abides by the exile. Yeah, he takes Blackfyre even though Aenys asked him to leave it, but he still goes into exile, and he stays in exile. Aenys rides Quicksilver and Maegor rides Balerion, the two dragons literally go toe to toe with each other and it's so massively onesided because Quicksilver doesn't stand a chance. If Maegor wanted to, he could have very easily repudiated his exile and decimated Aenys if he tried to enforce it. But Aenys told him to go, so he did, and he stayed gone until Visenya came to fetch him back with the news that Aenys was dead. He respected Aenys's word as king, his sovereign authority as liege lord and as the elder brother, and even if he might not have entirely thought the man worthy of what he had, that does speak to a sort of deference in spite of the complexities of their upbringing, and a willingness to obey Aenys despite everything about their personalities.

So, by the time Maegor comes back from Pentos to usurp the throne, there's a lot that can be used to humanize him and make him a compelling protagonist. A close but somewhat stilted relationship with the only parent to have ever tried with him, an unfulfilled, desperate need for approval and affection from a parent who couldn't give that to him due to circumstances entirely outside his control, a brother he didn't know well in his youth and might not have thought worthy of what he had and certainly been jealous of but that he still respected as king and fought hard to defend and that he deferred to even when he didn't have to, at least one marriage that, in spite of what little it offered him and the clusterfuck it caused, he valued enough that he refused to set aside, and an intense bond with a fearsome dragon that you can make him value more than almost anything or anyone. All of that set up can then be used for an extraordinary fall from grace, to watch the potential and nuance slowly grow darker and darker and darker as Maegor does increasingly horrible things, treats the people in his life increasingly badly, descends further and further into the tyranny and madness that will utlimately kill him. There's bright spots that can be used as well, like the fact that he does have Jaehaerys as his heir and doesn't seem to have had him or Viserys treated that badly, even though they were prisoners, and that he didn't actually set out to kill Aegon the Uncrowned at all until Aegon decided to take back his throne and amass an army. Then, as we've watched Maegor slide further and further down, we can watch with a sinking dread as he annihilates Aegon beneath God's Eye, as he turns on Alys and extinguishes her family, as he has Viserys literally tortured to death to punish Alyssa and Jaehaerys and Alysanne for their escape from Dragonstone. So that, by the time we get to shit like the completion of the Red Keep and the Black Brides, we see that Maegor is incredibly far gone, and we can only watch as all the complexities within him are swept aside by the monster he's become, so foul and loathsome that the eldritch abomination that is the Iron Throne finally kills him to stop the madness.

It's not about woobifying Maegor or excusing him. It's about providing a reason for the audience to look back on who he was as he becomes what he was always going to be, to give explanations for why he does the things that he does (how much of his initial militarism and violence and heavy-handedness, before he went doolally, was borne out of not just his martial prowess as a kid but also watching Aenys's version of ruling not work, for instance), and to get people to understand and feel his initial motivations so that the later stuff also makes sense, and so that you're watching something akin to a doomed fall when he becomes Maegor the Cruel. These are, at least to me, some of the most important and influential ways you can humanize Maegor as a character if you're planning to center him in a proper narrative story, without filing down his edges and keeping him as the kind of person he is. Extrapolate on why he is the way he is, and then show him how he is throughout his lifetime and what he does, along with the how and why of what he does.

#personal #answered #anonymous #maegor targaryen #maegor the cruel #yeah i've got a lot of thoughts about the conquerors and the dragon's peace and the sons of the dragon #anyway remember what i said about rhaenys being the glue that held the family together? #rhaenys's death being the reason that everything starts to fall apart? #rhaenys being the figure that looms large over the early reigns of the targaryens? #rhaenys being the ghost that haunts this entire family and won't ever leave them until all the people that both knew her #and were affected by her are dead? yeah i stand by all of that #it's why i'd want a sons of the dragon show to be preceded by a conquest show #so that the intense shift in dynamics and characters once she's gone makes sense #so that the very essence of the story changes when she dies #but anyway i've got Feelings #@ hbo come on guys!!!!!! #i'm right here i'm willing to work for very little money on this!!!! #(and then once i get y'all raking in cash through my correct opinions about the conquest and the sons of the dragon) #(you let me make the augustus show) #hope some of this makes sense i've been thinking about these characters a lot #so sometimes it's hard to organize it all into a cohesive essay

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Let Chaos Reign

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )

A passage from “The Inner Darkness” by Xina Fol

“Marvin Hansen worked as a security programmer aboard the star base To’von orbiting the densly populated world of To’vonus.

He lived a relatively uneventful life working at the security center; managing the day to day security operations for the various systems on the station.

Overweight, socially awkward, and holding strong introvert tendencies; Marvin’s main interaction with the rest of society was through his job which despite everything he loved.

He loved going through lines of codes, finding flaws in the system, then patching each and every one of them made him feel like he was part of something greater. That through his contributions the thousands of residents that called the station home safe. So when the station decided fire Marvin he felt blindsided.

The station had decided to upgrade their security systems to be monitored by an artificial computer program that could run hundreds of lines of code at the same time while running a myriad of other tasks at the same time. Marvin was deemed obsolete and so was let go.

With his only outlet to society now gone, as well as the one source of joy in his life, Marvin spiraled down a dark and twisting path. He tried applying for other positions in the station but no one would hire him. His social awkwardness made people uncomfortable to interact with him for extended periods of time.

After that he took up drinking intoxicating beverages to release the stress. He ran up several large tabs in the various establishments in the station and before long found himself kicked out from each; sometimes in a far from friendly manner.

Months had passed until Marvin had reached the lowest he had ever gone and the final straw was snapped. The once shy but kind hearted human had been replaced with one filled with spite and revenge against the station that had abandoned him.

One morning, Marvin went back to the security office using a series of override codes he had left in system. When the AI unit confronted the unauthorized access Marvin isolated the program and deleted it.

Now in full control of the security center, Marvin set about his horrific revenge.

One by one critical systems began to be transferred to the security center. Life support, gravity control, power distribution, traffic control, docking arm controls; Marvin had created backdoors into every major function of the station and now was using them all.

When security personnel tried to retake control of the security center Marvin sealed the security doors and drained the atmosphere from the rooms. The monster watched his former coworkers scream and beg for their lives over the camera system before dying terrible fates. This act of barbarity only seemed to encourage Marvin as what followed was even more heinous.

All of the pent up anger that had built up within Marvin was now unleashed on the innocent inhabitants of the station.

Entire hab units were detached from the station and left to drift into the planets gravity well. Hundreds were roasted alive by the reentry as the hab units heat shielding gave way.

Docking arms latched on to waiting ships and smashed them together like a child playing with their toys. A halo of wreckage was created around the station as a result that blocked further attempts to board the station and regain control.

In the market district the air quality was changed and laced with chemicals meant for the industrial units that drove those present into a delusional state of madness. They devolved into beings of pure rage that lashed out with uninhibited rage and anger, tearing themselves and each apart like bloody savages.

The carnage went on for a week as the population of the station dwindled day by day; the souls of everyone onboard having been reduced to nothing more than playthings for Marvin.

Despite repeated communication attempts, from inside and outside the station, Marvin remained silent. He watched his monstrous actions play out around him in complete silence. By weeks end the entire population of the station was dead, save for Marvin; still locked away in his security center.

To’von had gone from one of the most prosperous space stations in the outer rim, to a haunted husk floating dead in space.

-----------------

For all their great deeds and acts of courage, many have chosen to forget the darkness that lays within each and every human being that strides across this sea of stars.

Every day they fight a battle to contain the depravity that lurks just beneath the surface, and we should all fear the day when it finally is set free.

#HUMANS ARE WEIRD #humans are insane #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #scifi #story #writing #original writing

[matan4il]

Good morning Alice!! This might sound a bit of a ramble and long-winded, so I apologize. It's mostly that I wanted to express to some of the anons on here who asked questions how important it is as non Jewish friends we stand in front of the Jewish people to fight this antisemitism. I don't in any way mean that as condescending, but just truthfully. I also can only express my POV as an American non Jew.

But maybe I'm shaped because my ex mentor, now boss but dearest of friends, starts our morning call every day crying. She used to be able to go to Israel for her family multiple times a year. Her father passed away last year, her mother is ill, and her brothers are all there. She can't get in any more. More than that, her children are here facing a different kind of threat on college campuses. It's a nightmare. I don't speak to anyone who hasn't been directly affected or doesn't feel under threat every day. And that honestly should show you how small the Jewish population really is. That's why it's important to be loud about your support to take the burden away.

Honestly, be prepared to lose some people or say unpopular truths. If you have SM, you have to share the stories because people in the media aren't covering shit. I was blasting the story about Paul hours after it happened, and I still only see milk toast headlines from outlets that will mention it.

Also, you're probably going to be called heinous names. Trust me, you just learn to roll your eyes being called a Nazi because you criticize the squad who actually calls for the genocide of the Jewish people. The upside down world is real these days!!!

Also, there really is an answer for every argument the pro Hamas side has. If you feel like you want to be prepared, just ask Alice!! But trust me, there is always an answer!!

Just remember, we actually know what happens to the Jewish people when we don't stand for them. And the lesson wasn't that long ago. Don't let weaponization of words like racist, collective punishment, moral equivalency intimate you.

The truth is all this could end tomorrow if Hamas let the hostages go and surrendered. But they hide under children as human shields, pull out the video of the leaders saying this if someone doesn't believe you. They steal the humanitarian aid. Their leaders don't even live there. They live like literal Kings in another country.

As always, stay safe, Alice!! Have you been able to get your treatments? Have you been able to go back to the museum at all? From my understanding, almost everything is shut down because all the reservists are getting called? I hope one day we can go back to "normal" but I fear there will only be a new normal now. ❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️

My love! *hugs* You're brilliant, you know that?

I'm just gonna leave your ask up here as is, because I have nothing to add to it. <333

As for the personal stuff, thank you for asking! I am getting my treatments, I'm going to the hospital on Sunday. I'm currently suffering from a bad reaction, and I hope they have something that can be done about it. As for the museum, we do have a lot of workers who have been called in! There are basically no groups to guide, but there's still a lot of work to be done (research, for example), so a lot of people who normally guide tours are helping with some of the other stuff. Yeah, for now, it's def a weird "new normal" of trying to function with a missing limb and phantom pains...

Thank you so much for your words! I'm sending you endless love and hugs, as well as to your ex mentor and dear friend! May we all know better days soon. xoxoxox

#ask #daphnesvalley #israel #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #terrorism #antisemitism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #personal #fandom love #kindness #thank you! #<33333

[simply-hyacinth]

Happy Birthday

More! Unedited! Unread! I have zero idea what I'm doing.

It had been around one week since you had last seen your boyfriend.

Yes, that was the word you used now. When you had asked him about it, he gave you an amused kind of smile and asked if he was someone you would be okay with considering a significant other, to which you of course said yes.

Your coworker, Eva, had finally come around to the idea of you two being together after having met L for the first time.

It was the afternoon after your first date, and he had come into the bakery, just as you had asked him to. While neither of them interacted, she said the grin that appeared on your face the moment you saw him was enough for her to support you.

Unlike normal boyfriends, you didn’t text or call him daily. You rarely even saw him a couple times a month if you were lucky. Every time he reached out to you, it was through a new number or an order for an absurd amount of things from the bakery.

You also didn’t question him much on why. The last time proper questions and answers had been exchanged was your first date after watching the movie. Ever since then, you knew it would be best to simply let him operate in the way he did.

“What are you doing for your birthday?” Eva slipped into the chair across from you; the bakery empty and requiring no current attention. 

“How do you know about that?” You demanded, quite sure you had never told her when it was.

She laughed. “There’s a dated picture of you wearing a birthday hat up in your apartment.” 

Your face went red as you recalled the photo she was talking about. “I can’t believe you saw that…”

“Too bad. Got any plans? Plans with the…” Her voice trailed off suggestively. She knew very well how secretive you were, and despite the empty store, still acted as if there were people to overhear.

“Of course not. I haven’t even told him when my birthday is.” You brush off the idea. “Besides, I saw him last weekend. I won’t see him again for at least another three weeks.”

Eva frowned. “I don’t know how you do that. Especially for as long as you’ve been doing it. I can’t imagine being away from my boyfriend for so long.”

You sigh. It was certainly not the easiest, but L had told you from the start that he was not the most stationary person, and that he had many responsibilities that required his attention in various places. 

“I will never be able to prioritize you.” He had told you one night.

You lifted your head from his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “I know that.”

“Do you?”

There was a pause, and then you nodded. “I do. Why are you bringing this up now?”

“I fear you may resent me for it. That you will realize that I am never around and that you will leave.” He looked away slightly, just enough so he was no longer meeting your gaze.

You frowned at him. “That seems like a problem for the future. As of right now, I hold no resentment, nor desire to leave. We have already established the type of relationship this is, and I see nothing wrong with it.” You wrap an arm around his shoulder and pull him closer to you. “Come now, let’s finish this movie.”

He chuckled softly as he said, “Do you think there will ever be a time we can watch something other than a Christmas movie?”

“Shh, don’t say such heinous things.”

You turn your attention back to the present. Eva was now suggesting that you got out for drinks tomorrow to celebrate, to which you reminded her that you weren’t yet 21. She didn’t budge.

The idea of perhaps, celebrating your birthday for once, didn’t seem as terrifying as it had in previous years. And for a moment, you regretted not having told L when your birthday was.

Of course, you would have had no expectations of him doing anything for it, but it would have been nice for him to know regardless. Maybe he would be able to spare you a thought amidst the other things that overtook his mind. 

“See you later!” Eva waved at you as she clocked out and headed home for the night. 

And once again, it was just you in the bakery. You tried to head upstairs to go to sleep, but something in your gut kept tugging you awake, eventually leading you back down to the store.

There was nothing down there, but you were beginning to get worried. Something felt off, and you didn’t think it would be right to go to bed just yet.

After a couple hours of mindless cleaning and organizing, your mind was still restless, as if anticipating something. You chalked it up to wanting to stay awake until it was properly your birthday, and so you made yourself a little cake.

You had candles in the bakery already, and you found yourself sitting in the same spot as the one L had when you first met him.

“Happy birthday to me!” You sang softly, taking a picture of the cake before moving to blow it out. Before you could, however, a knock on the glass of the door nearly startled you out of your seat.  “Fuck!” You exclaimed, looking over to see what it was.

And there he stood, hands in his pockets and slouched over as if he had permanent back issues. At his feet rested a bag, most likely filled with more files and papers.

Once the initial shock had passed, you ran to the door to let him in. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s your birthday.” He said simply, gesturing to the clock which now read 2:30AM. “May I come in?”

“I never told you it was my birthday.” Your tone was almost accusing. 

He sat down opposite of where you were. It gave you even stronger flashbacks to when you first met. “I figured it out.”

“How?”

“You always mention having fond memories of celebrations and spending time with your mother around this month, and considering what you’ve told me of your childhood, I imagine the only reason you would be consistently celebrating is for your birthday.” He stated with ease. “And while you never said specific dates, you did talk about certain birthday memories, for instance a limited edition seasonal drink from your favorite cafe.”

“I did?” You asked, not even remembering yourself.

He nodded, now pulling his bag up to set it on the table. “It was easy to align the dates, and with a little bit of investigation, the confirmation of the exact day was clear.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “That’s a lot of work to figure out my birthday.”

“Also, there is a dated picture in your bedroom of you on your birthday.” His smile turned coy at the sudden redness of your face. 

“I hate you!” You buried your face in your hands and groaned in annoyance. He had only been in your room once, just while he waited for you to grab something.

“No, actually. I don’t believe you do.” When you looked back up, his expression had turned much more serious and melancholic. 

You didn’t question the underlying tone or sadness in his voice. “Well of course not. I could never hate someone who could remember every detail of the things I’ve said.”

“You have also mentioned a disliking for most gifts, so I do apologize for this.” Out of his bag he pulled out a little box. There was no wrapping, no bow, no tag. It was just a box.

Carefully, you open the lid of it. Your eyes went wide at what you found inside. With shaking hands, you lifted the music box out and set it on the table. Upon further inspection, you knew exactly what this was. There was no mistaking those dents and dings you had made when you were a child, nor the little hearts you had drawn along the edge.

Wordlessly, you twisted the bottom and allowed the music to play softly. It echoed throughout the empty bakery and L watched it with as much wonder as you did. 

“How did you…” You couldn’t quite finish the sentence.

“You mentioned it once. It was your mother’s, you said. You sold it long ago, but ever since she passed you regretted having ever given away that part of her.” 

You were absolutely speechless for a moment. Then, you looked over at him. “Stay still.” You leaned over the table and kissed him. It was quick and so simple, but it was more than you were able to say with words.

Pulling back, you grinned sheepishly, watching his reaction closely.

He closed his eyes, as if trying not to lose the moment. “I believe that is the first time you have ever kissed me. Perhaps I should find more of your childhood items to return to you.”

You laughed at that. “Then perhaps we can make kissing a habit if you do.”

L didn’t mention the gift that was hidden within the compartments of the music box itself. No, he waited for you to find that on your own, two nights later when you were fidgeting with the hardware of the music box and accidentally discovered a little compartment.

You had never noticed it before, even as a child. But here it was. Inside of it was a delicate little necklace with your favorite flower engraved upon it; something else you had not realized he remembered.

“Thank you.” You whispered into the air, hoping that the open window would allow the breeze to carry your words to wherever L might have been.

You truly meant it. He had made this the most memorable birthday you had had in over a decade, and one you would look back upon years from now, even after he was gone.

Later on, you never took the necklace off other than to shower. It was a silent promise to always love him, and it was one you intended to never break.

#simplyhyacinth #deathnote x reader #deathnote #l #l x you #l x reader #l lawliet #lawliet x reader #l lawliet x reader #l lawliet x you

[detagen]

helloooo mutant lovers ! i am wmuem (wildest mess u’ve ever met) otherwise known as sun ! it’s been so long since i’ve rp’ed on tumblr that i feel i’m legally not allowed to be hip by saying ‘hot minute’ . this is also most definitely a queued intro so if at any point you haven’t gotten bored reading the below or see something that itches your brain feel free to give this a like and i will come hobbling like the lil gremlin i am into ur dms !

if you just want a quick peek into him before getting a face full of tldr feel free to check out these wip pages — powers . profile . plots .

onto the actual introduction, i present to you my boy RYDER HAN in the most inelegant and absolute shortest tldr fashion i could manage !

triggers — evil mistress and her agenda, insinuation of child neglect

born to a honking rich and prominent political family in england, with hidden distasteful views against anomalies. all the wealth came from his father’s side and as for his mother? she was an orphan with no trace of her familial history.

three years into their marriage, she became pregnant with ryder and that was also around the time that it was discovered she was anomaly. from extreme confusion to accusations being thrown around, there wasn’t much that could be done to fix the shattered impression the family had of her despite her never having ever displayed any preternatural abilities nor being aware she had them throughout her entire life.

following ryder’s birth, the family banished her while keeping ryder as the family’s current and sole heir. through ryder’s childhood, his father buried himself in work - unable to face ryder and the reminders he presented of the past.

from the age 10 to 12, his father goes through a slew of different mistresses until one finally seems to stick one day. it seems at this point his father is tired of trying and his grandparents are happy to finally see the same face around whoever it be to stop the heinous rumors going around about his new habits.

the mistress is everything that an evil step-mother would be. she absolutely hates ryder because his existence means that there’s absolutely nothing she could ever truly gain with him being around. through his teenage years, she plots unmentionable instance after instance in trying to get rid/get ryder away from home but she’s never quite successful and with the absent man that ryder’s father is - she never ever faces any repercussions.

at 17 when ryder graduates early from high school, his father’s mistress sees it as her last chance. it was never revealed how she had found out, but she exposes to the family that ryder - like his mother, was an anomaly. this caused enough scandal with the looming threat the mistress held over revealing the truth to the public if ryder wasn’t removed. 

for what seemed like the first time in his life, ryder’s father agreed to send him away with emotion in his eyes - guilt.

ryder spends the next two years living quietly in a small apartment his father gives to him. however, his physical removal is only the first step in the mistress’s plan as she continuously sends people after ryder through this time to intimidate and hurt him. 

when ryder is about to reach his wit’s end, he’s fortunately found by the scientist who had been sworn into secrecy about the discovery of his mother being an anomaly during her pregnancy with ryder. the scientist offers ryder a new start in south korea if he agrees to allow them to study him for research under biofirm pharmaceuticals. 

desperate for a new start, ryder agrees and the next two years ensue with repetitive examinations, tests and studies until they’re able to figure out what ryder’s preternatural abilities are. 

after the discovery of his power negation, ryder begins attending sua with the support of the scientist team he works with from biofirm. he gets his bachelor’s in political science, then his masters in biology and chemical engineering. with the amount of money he’s earned from all the testing and research through the years, ryder chooses to go back to school for a doctorate’s degree in law after being offered a scholarship (because why not)?

through all these years studying and being studied, ryder has taken joy in harassing the mistress of his father from countries away. he sees it like a game, triggering her paranoia that one day he’s going to return to claim his place as the rightful inheritor to everything his family has ever built to their name. 

PERSONALITY !

ryder’s life wasn’t the worst but it wasn’t perfect either. paired with an absent father and an unknown mother, he was never really raised with parental or familial love. the world he grew in skewed his vision of life and what to expect going into it especially with his father’s mistress always trying to erase him from the picture.

his time in south korea has changed him a lot, however, where ryder was able to begin living independently and be in an environment where people actually listened and considered his thoughts and opinions.

through the years, ryder developed a super outgoing personality. he’s known for being very confident - in fact so confident it really just spells egotistical and cocky in the most subtle manner that it gets passed off as charming for how he well he presents it all.

very big on combative sports as a defense mechanism from his days as a teenager always having to watch his back. once he gained an interest in the sporting rallies at sua was when he began to pick up more offensive combat training considering his power doesn’t exactly give him any physical or power effective abilities to hurt others

CONNECTIONS !

pulgasari and sport rally members

anyone living in the blue dorms?

peers with similar academics or pursuing an academic ryder has already gotten a degree in

#nm:intro #— pinning this for now until i get something official up lol #— so i honestly lost all creative ability trying to pull my muse together after all the brain power i put into understanding powers LOL #— this is my best attempt rnnnn #— of course there are more options for connections my one brain cell is just no recuperating!

[woodsfae]

B5 S03E04: Passing Through Gethsemane table of contents • previous episode

What an acrimonious ecclesiastical chess game. Oh, are these the techy monks? I kinda forgot about them. idk what the little sculpture was. It looked like glass, but if so, he's using some 23rd c advanced tech or something! 

Lyta's back! And she traveled in a Vorlon's ship! Hope they didn't drive her as mad as Jack the Ripper. A pretty badass story! She really committed to getting to Vorlon space, and they really almost let her die! Or actually did let her die? The PsiCorps havwe that freaky zombie protocol. 

Well, either a black rose has changed omnious meaning in the last few hundred years, so that monk guy is absolutely about to get whacked. Shuffled unwillingly off the mortal coil. On vacation with the space whales.  

Blegh, speaking of the psicorps zombie protocols! That isn't exactly a humane option. If human rights aren't human rights for everyone, then anyone can be stripped of their rights. 

Dr Franklin has a diagnosis for Lyta: In better than tip top condition. Some of her chronic and/or genetic conditions have been mysteriously cured. Idk if this is support for the Zombie Lyta theory, but it does suggest that the Vorlons have high levels of human-medical tech. Panaceas have been such a reoccuring theme and I'm interested to see where they take it. Lyta is the only example of someone who has had a full, medical glow-up. 

Yeah, fuck off Londo! He's such a slimy toerag. He can stop anytime, but nooooo. 

To Minbari, "the soul is a nonlocalized phenomenon," perceptible through physical form and sentient people, but are actual little thinking fragments of the universal intelligence, trying to understand itself. It really is a fascinating idea. It reinds me of something I've seen, "we are collections of atoms trying to understand ourselves."

It's relatively similar to gnosticism. 

Lennier is a nerd for Valen! Whatg a nice meeting. The monk is definitely dying now, right? Oh maybe he'll be tormented by hallucinations awhile first. Or pehaps a telepathic projection? It does seem to be leaning towards the high fantasy side of B5, I guess. Not so into the monks, but the experimental flashbacks and inexplicable visions are pretty entertaining. 

Ahhh, he's one of the mind-wiped murderers. HAH. I wonder if all the monks are murderers. It'd track for western society. The abbot fellow says the order is legit, but they only question the applicants about their beliefs. Coding murderers into genuinely philanthropic and ascetic monk wanna-bes...it's legitimately more humane than I thought it would be. Still horrific, but I expected they'd be like, barracksed and do dangerous, menial work, not be random monks having traumatizing flashbacks they can't process. 

Huh. He was a serial killer, and the facility where he was burned down and all his records were lost, he was presumed dead. So this isn't a normal situation for one of these wipe-ees. They're ...pretty good? at implaning new personalities? He's trying really hard to process this new self-knowledge through his theological bent. But I suppose he might have killed people with a theological bent, too. 

ooooooOOOooo. Someone triggered Brother Edward slash Charlie! Is it Lyta? Vorlons love fucking around with people's heads, particularly serial killers and religious fanatics. 

Oh dang! His victims' relations? They're pretty pissy, which is fair, but it's too bad they don't recognize that what was done to him is also heinous. 

But what's this?Lyta with a steel chair? I mean, an un-Psi-Corps-sanctioned mental assault! 

lolol, even with Lyta's dubiously legal activities, the monks found him first. It was pretty yoked of Bruce Boxleitner to singlehandedly lift him down. 

"I always wondered if I would have the courage to stay and wait in the Garden of Gethsemane...now I know. Now I know."

well, that's normal religious trauma. Every evangelical kids I knew wondered that and worried they were less able to face suffering than Jesus, hah! But his deathbed worries about salvation are also super christian culture, which is so funny since xtians literally invented the Get Out of Hell Free card. repentance. like, I saw that loophole as a kid. Just pray dear jesus I'm sorry on your deathbed! Moral condundrum solved. 

Love Lyta and Susan interacting! I was bummed when Lyta didn't make it onto the show from The Gathering, and although I'm desperately curious as to when Talia comes back (they haven't kissed yet!! There's whump to be had, I can tell!), it is great to have Lyta around. Especially since she's liberated telepath who don't care for no Psi Rules. 

Ooooh, Lyta gills reveal. That a new feature? hah.

Dr Franklin: Well, everything that was ever wrong with you has been fixed. Oh, it says you have gills now? Well, that can't be right. Never mind. /s

Well, christian episodes gonna christian. not my favorite, though I enjoy the lore and the Psi horror. And directed by Adam Nimoy! I did not see that one coming. And quite heavy handed, though I guess they were writing for an adult populations with a lot more lead poisoning than we typically see now.

oooh, big plot!

#woodsfae b5

[dilfdoctordoom]

The prompt you got about justice for Peter perfectly illustrates exactly what's wrong with vol 3. The movie focuses on abuse victims getting healing, closure and set on a new path they deserve except Gamora who it blissfully ignores is one of the biggest victims of all.

She's not given multiple scenes to explore how she feels about a family she was robbed of. She's not given any scenes about what it was like to be 9 years in the future, find out her abuser murdered her and that she would have to build a new life while lots of other people know her as a guardian never got to be. Her own struggles are absent in vol 3 and that echoes through the fandom/audience.

You mentioned some people think this is feminist because she doesn't end up with Peter and that's really sad. Being single doesn't equal automatic feminist win and if people's feminism isn't intersectional or taking context into consideration they're doing it wrong. Gamora being loved, supported and fought for by Peter and the rest of the guardians in the other movies was not anti feminism. Especially with her being played by a woc. It's more obvious when you see people absolutely adoring how all of vol 3 is about Rocket getting loved, supported and saved by everyone.

Being sidelined, kept away from regaining her superhero team, having no arc of her own and miniscule representation on merch is also not feminism. More women, more poc, more diverse heroes, more women included on merch etc are all things fandoms have said they want and vol 3 said bye bye bye to a lot of that with Gamora. It's as if more people are happy she's not with Peter due to troubling concepts of what makes a strong female character than angry she was murdered. That's the exact opposite of feminism.

I'm sorry if this reads as ranty. I don't mean for it to. It's just getting harder to be at peace with this being the end of the road for Gamora. I don't think she was a perfect character but I do believe she was one of the best they had in the mcu before her murder. I am still trying to grasp what it means that they wanted to murder the first woc lead character we had so her abuser could advance and what it means that nothing about vol 3 portrayed this as something heinous we should all be upset about it.

This does read as ranty and this is the perfect place for that as I am consistently ranting about how Gamora was ultimately treated.

Gamora's very presence ruins everything Vol 3 aims for. The message of escaping your abuser and living your own life, becoming your whole self, falls hilariously flat when she's included. You cannot try to have that message alongside fridging a woman to make her abuser more sympathetic.

Add in how this movie even brought up Thanos's abuse-- it's treated as a punchline for the most part. The only time it isn't a joke (like with the eye scene between Nebula, Gamora & Peter) is when Nebula says "it's worse than what Thanos did to me" after finding out what happened to Rocket. That line drives me crazy; abuse isn't something that can be measured, as a basic thing, and if Gunn really wanted to try that... tell me which one of these characters is 70% cybernetics.

Gamora's such a non-entity in this film. Of course she gets to be mad at Quill-- but she doesn't get to speak to the others Guardians, doesn't get her new relationship with Nebula fleshed out, gets a single throwaway line about her alternative self having escaped Thanos. Does she know the details of how she died? Does she know she sacrificed everything for Nebula? Does she know she begged Peter to kill her?

We have no answers. Fuck, it's barely acknowledged that she knows Thanos murdered her.

I get that Gamora is green, but people really don't seem to get that she's played by Zoe Saldana, a woman of color, and how that does impact things. WOC get held up to very different standards and while there is obviously overlap in harmful tropes, it's insane to pretend that there aren't different ones applied to women of color. Acting like Gamora being robbed of a love interest that brought her true joy is feminist isn't a girlboss move; it's fulfilling a trope that women of color don't "need" a love interest.

What happened to Gamora was just sickening and so was the fandom response. There are a million think pieces on why what happened to Natasha was wrong; there isn't even a quarter of that for Gamora, when hers was, objectively, worse. I despise what happened to Natasha but god, at least it wasn't done to uplift her abuser.

I think it's also very telling how these characters have been treated post-mortem; Natasha received a solo movie & was memorialized in Hawkeye. Gamora... gets everything that mattered to her stripped away like it's nothing, her most important relationship (with Nebula) goes stagnant, and her horrific murder is brought up as a silly little joke.

Yeah, Gamora's treatment is rooted in a lot of sexism, but also a lot of racism and it's that second bit that has heavily impacted how the fandom reacted.

There's a lot of overlap between misogyny and racism in regard to the Guardians women, specifically, Gamora and Mantis, and there's also this strange refusal to see it addressed.

Seeing the interview Zoe Saldana gave recently really made it worse, IMO. She spoke about how even she wanted Gamora to return to the Guardians, but that wasn't the story Gunn wanted to tell... so now, just like us, she's left hoping that maybe in the future, Gamora gets to have her family back.

The Gamora aspect honestly killed the Guardians trilogy for me. I think it breaks the established pattern of the past 2 movies in a bad way, is nonsensical a finale to that story, and is overly reliant on downplaying the suffering of women to glorify a fucking raccoon.

#q & a #im never rewatching gotg3 again the last time i tried i got so mad at it i started hating rocket on principle lmao

[septembersghost]

I will say this: R. Kelly as a human being disgusts me, and I'm quite pleased that he finally got brought to justice and he is now behind bars for his heinous crimes.

But...at the same time, I still really like some of his songs, like "I'm Your Angel" and "I Believe I Can Fly". It's difficult, but overall I believe in separating art from the artist.

...Does that make me a bad person?

he's a horrible evil person and may he rot in jail, but i actually think it's a slippery slope to pretend that good art can't be created by bad people, or that appreciating that art somehow reflects morally on you, as if you're endorsing someone's wrongdoing. it's complicated because none of us want to give money/platforms/support to abusers or bigots, obviously, but we also tread dangerously close to thought policing and censorship when we tell anyone that they can't appreciate something in spite of an artist's/creators wrongs, or while recognizing that wrongness. i know we've had discussions along these lines a lot lately (and this was addressed similarly here), but only you can decide where your boundaries are and what you can separate out, it's different for everyone. and your actions as a person in life are what prove your character (and morals). you clearly recognize that, so i just don't think it's fair to blame yourself for someone else's crimes or that it reflects on you as a person because you enjoy a couple of songs. music is such a spiritual thing to me too, if it takes on bigger and more impactful meaning to you, then i don't believe you have to erase that. recognizing terrible actions and still seeing a beauty in art are not mutually exclusive.

it also makes me think again of this from an interview the director mary harron (known for tackling dark subject matter) gave recently: "I’m most interested in where I can find something inspiring and finding the good I can take from somebody’s work." that's so important, and in a way can be an act of reclaiming it, giving it new, separate worth.

understanding complexities, or even outright terrible things, doesn't preclude art from resonating. you're not a bad person! a bad person wouldn't think to ask. *hugs*

#anonymous #letterbox #also i'm your angel is so pretty and it's certainly not celine's fault that he's an abuser you know? #same w/ lady gaga who's apologized for working with him and is a survivor of sa herself #abuse cw

[lazarel-3000]

It’s been hard processing the news regarding RaM co-creator allegations.

This is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this in any fandom that I’ve been part of. And it hurts me deeply to see one of my favorite shows associated with something so heinous.

As a fan I desperately want the allegations to not be true, but as a person, and from what little we know, things point to the contrary - with enough evidence to have warranted an arrest.

And yet I continue to be conflicted over the whole situation and wish for more clarity.  This is me, still in denial because accepting the reality of this is just so sad for the victims involved. I am angry at Justin but also hold out hope that, he too, can one day get help and eventually be a better human being. But for now, I’m just so angry and disappointed in him.

“Well, separate the art from the artist,” right?

Some people can do that, and kudos to them, I have been able to do that too for a long time, but when the “haha edgy jokes make normies uncomfy” escape fiction and bridge into reality, it becomes nearly impossible to do that. At least for me, it’s worse because my Reader fic Zenith of Entropy Above You was gonna go into some really dark places with Rick. But after this, there is no way I feel comfortable putting it out there.

This probably not a surprise to anyone who is familiar with my work and me in general but I think this is a good segway for me to say that I am firm believer of exploring darker themes in a safe environment. It’s healthy even—as long as you don’t hurt anyone irl. And I say this while also affirming that you alone are responsible for curating the content you consume online. With this I cannot stress this enough, please be careful of the people you interact with. Fandom culture opens so many vulnerable channels that predators take advantage of. Creators/showrunners are not exempt from this. Please take care of yourself, trust your gut.

Anyway, I’m a little drunk at this point now and don’t know where I was going with this, other than I am Not Okay, fun people are not always good people, and please take care of yourselves.

I still don’t know where I stand regarding RaM fandom and content creation, I guess we’ll see as things unfold.

Also support fanartists, they, at least, are not Justin Roiland.

#rick and morty #rickorty #personal