#like they're kind of dispensable

[aeide-thea]

truly just SUCH a typical tumblr experience but like.

Familiar Tumblr Name makes a post that's like: 'you know how fast fashion perpetuates itself by selling us clothing that gets dingy and grody really fast, so we have to replace it yearly?'

me: uh, no, actually—historically i've found that the few fast fashion pieces i acquired long outstayed their welcome, and were perfectly wearable long after i was heartily sick of them! but go on, i guess

FTN: 'let me tell you about this traditional domestic wisdom (implied: that's been lost because of, uh, capitalism) that will fix this problem (that you, too, definitely have) for you!'

me, googling: okay so this residue that FTN said was somehow a Fast Fashion thing is apparently generally caused by like. fabric softener and/or hard water. using discount detergents that skimp on active ingredients. using too much detergent so it doesn't wash out. letting your bedding go too long between washes. letting your washer go too long between cleans. etc. anyway. lots of specific factors here, many of which may in fact not apply to you in particular!

but like. why get specific when instead we could assert You Know This Problem, Right? This Lost Traditional Wisdom Will Definitely Help You Personally!!

#just like. makes me mad as rhetoric bc like. *i* can evaluate yr Dramatic Tumblr Post critically and do independent research abt it #and determine how much of it applies to me #and like. the answer is: basically none but it's a good reminder to clean the washing machine‚ thx #but like. there are loads of ppl in the notes just like. nodding along very wide-eyed #to whom this ALSO may not be applicable but who have lapped up yr sloppy demagoguery #and it's just like. [FTN] admits *in this post* that they don't actually know all the ins and outs of this #and it's just like. then probably you shouldn't be climbing onto your soapbox to explain it to people just yet!! #and telling people to get Righteously Angry that this has been Kept From Them #anyway. extremely specific subtweet and honestly the consequences of blindly taking OP's advice would probably not be too bad #but it's just like. i get really frustrated with these bloggers who want to Dispense Advice #but aren't actually experts themselves‚ don't provide any citations for their assertions‚ and claim that things are Universally Applicable #which is just. never true!! people's situations vary!!! #and like. if everyone were equipped to critically evaluate this shit it'd be fine‚ probably #but they're not! people are like 'oh wow you sound confident‚ okay‚ information integrated into my worldview now!' #and it's just like. i realize the subject matter here is relatively low-stakes but it's like. the KIND of rhetoric here is. weird. #very like. There's Been a Conspiracy and You Should Believe Me Because I Sound Confident and Friendly and Like I'm On Your Side. #Reject the Innovations of Capitalism. Retvrn to the Old Ways. #and it's just like. hm what politicians does that remind me of! #anyway. sorry for this very vehement very specific subtweet i just. idk. genuinely think this strain of tumblr demagoguery is pernicious #and like. lots of it is perpetrated by liberals!! most of it ime! but it's the same damaging dynamic even so

[unsurebisexualcore]

walked into the bathrooms during 4th period. there are tampons rolling across the floor and all over the sinks and stalls because someone broke into the dispenser that makes you pay a quarter for one

VIVA LA REVOLUCION BITCHES

#for clarification yes the people who did it came back during 5th period and cleaned it up and its back in the dispenser #but the dispenser is still broken so the tampons r free #and yes they're all still in their wrappers there were no health code violations #altho i did almost trip on one that was rolling on the ground #seriously who carries around a quarter nowadays #like come on #women stuff #this is the kind of feminism im talking about

[ventique18]

Papa 🐉 with triplets HCs

When going overseas for official duties, he prefers not to be cooped up in that weird iron bird creature (it's an airplane, hun). So he instead flies to the country in his dragon form. Imagine people's awe when this gigantic, magnificent creature lands gracefully, lowers his head down carefully, and out of his mouth hops not one, not two, but three little dragons. They're so tiny you could swear they're cute little dogs.

He always goes to meetings clad in heavy robes. More often than not though, his mysterious cloak has a peculiar feature: it produces three sets of giggling voices every once in a while, especially when the room goes deadly silent.

Once an hour passes though, three little tykes get magicked out of the cloak like how a bunny hops out of a magician's hat. The wyrmlings like to climb on and off papa's back and munch on his horns. Everyone could only glance in amazement at how strong their Majesty's neck muscles must be to withstand the weight.

The three siblings still have very small wings but would always attempt to fly. 🌸 always almost has a heart attack when they inevitably come crashing down from their disproportionate weight, but 🐉 would save them the last second with his magic. He'd laugh loudly and hug 🌸 to reassure them none of their babies would get into accidents while he's alive.

I say accident because the three would frequently get hurt on purpose anyway. Their parents don't understand why, but one of their hobbies seem to be beating each other up in any way they could think of. 🐉🌸 would often wake up in the dead of the night because one sibling hurled another off the bed, simply because he/she was hogging 🌸's chest apparently. 🌸's chest is their favorite snuggle spot.

While 🐉 frankly doesn't have all the time in the world, he strictly employs a 8-5 work hour like a regular person. He doesn't really mind working but ever since he's started a family, he believes this is finally his god-given grace so he'll do it properly. His spouse is very capable in assisting him so they never really had problems with this arrangement.

So he likes to be closer to his babies and feeds them personally while it's still normal. He kinda just force-feeds them mashed food with a spoon in a row though. "Can't you make it more fun? Like, open wide, here comes the flying broom!" "I am simply not a sappy person." "You feed me while saying cheesy shit though..." "I cannot very well say those kinds of things to my children."

When he bathes them, he makes them line up and dunks them into a pool one by one. When they're in their dragon form, he scrubs them with a brush like he's doing laundry.

He hangs them on a clothesline to dry them on a sunny day lmao. "What are you doing to our babies??" "What? They enjoy it." Fair enough, the little gremlins are giggling.

When 🐉🌸 gets one those snazzy refrigerators with a water faucet and ice dispenser in front, the siblings like to sit on top of each other's shoulders so they could steal ice cubes for themselves. Or lap at the running water like thirsty dogs.

Grim has dedicated water bowls all over the place because he finds it hard to pour from a pitcher, and the feral siblings actually prefer lapping from those than go to the refreshments table to fetch a drink. The first time 🐉🌸 saw this, they were so shocked they kinda just stared blankly.

"Are... Are they actually dogs..." "I do not know, at this point." "Did you do this too when you were little?" "We did not have any semblance of a pet so I do not think so." Lilia reveals later though, that 🐉 drank from the damn toilet once.

He likes teaching them all manners of things. He gets a bit too intense sometimes though, what with them failing over and over again on what he thinks to be simple tasks, so 🌸 has to remind him gently that they are not him and shouldn't ever be him. He lets up and smiles. Yes, this is what children are supposed to be.

He legitimately doesn't have any ounce of experience with fatherhood and was suddenly thrust with three, so 🌸 honestly thinks he's a bit clumsy when it comes to taking care of them. Really clumsy and callous, actually.

But when 🌸 chances upon their three babies curled up against him, with him napping soundly and still holding an illustrated book on gargoyles and their history (goodness, he never changes), they thought he wasn't so bad after all.

Thinking harder about it though, what with him carrying the weight of the country while carrying the weight of three chubby babies and a feral cat, he might be the best father ever, after all.

#“I'll draw a comic today!” #work: “haha that's a funny joke.” #twisted wonderland #ventique rambles #malleus draconia #malleus x reader

[jpbradley]

Which Primarchs committed tax fraud?

Lorgar claimed tax exempt status as a church. Cited a law from the Age of Strife, rejected after lengthy legal proceedings. Definitely did not instigate the Heresy to avoid paying his substantial fines.

Sanguinius filled his form wrong. He managed to charm the investigating officer into allowing him to resubmit, but failed to file on the ground that he was murdered by Horus. A small percentage of Blood Angels are, to this day, afflicted with anxiety over an unfiled return.

Roboute Guilliman 100% knows how to commit tax fraud, and how to get away with it. Of course he does. He's the tax man (Ultramar regional office). Hates Magnus for reasons we'll get to.

Jaghatai Khan neither knows nor cares what taxes are. The Imperial Revenue took years to track down his address, and after several final demands an investigator visited only to find a lone postbox 300 miles from anywhere, half buried in unopened mail.

Perturabo failed to declare assets 'inherited' from Ferrus Manus and is currently awaiting a trial date.

Ferrus Manus has been given dispensation to defer his return for the tax year on the following grounds:

Being dead.

Lion El'Johnson swears he knows how to commit tax fraud but simply never would. He's lying. He has no idea but would rather walk naked into the Warp than admit it.

Vulkan keeps fastidious notes through the year which makes him very popular with his accountants. They try to convince him to expense his Drakeskin cloaks but he refuses as he wears them recreationally (despite the Salamander's 'business logo') and doesn't want to get into trouble.

Fulgrim completed his return, he really did, but it wasn't right. Currently on his cogitator is 'Tax Return 3 FINAL (FINAL!!).tax' unsent.

Leman Russ vaguely understands that tax is a thing. Thus far nobody can decide if the Space Wolves mix of raucous hospitality and space Viking intimidation towards investigators is a concerted effort to avoid paying or if they're just like that.

Magnus has all the documentation to prove that he's paid. It's all right there. It makes absolutely no sense and somehow he's owed money? Guilliman is convinced he's full of it but hasn't been able to prove it and is quietly seething.

Rogal Dorn pays in full and fully hates anyone who doesn't. He grumbles about it to anyone who will listen, usually within earshot of anyone he suspects isn't paying his way. Magnus & Conrad vocally agree with him. Guilliman leaves the room before he says something he'll regret.

Alpharius definitely submitted a return. Nothing about it looks right, all the numbers are estimates, all the assets are in some kind of code but somehow it's already been stamped as accepted.

Konrad Curze also vocally hates anyone who doesn't pay up. Secretly he hasn't paid in years. He is beyond the pretty laws of 'taxes' and with everyone focused on Lorgar, Perturabo and Magnus he's just slipped through the cracks, which he has taken as a silent endorsement.

Corvus Corax wants to pay tax. He’s tried to pay tax. He’s sent several returns to the Imperial Revenue and still they haven’t taken the money. He’s beginning to get worried. He needn’t be. They have quite simply forgotten he exists and it's gone on too long for them to admit their mistake.

Mortarion pays but hates everything about it. He thinks it's a personal slight and is convinced he is paying more than everyone else. He's right. This makes his whining no less annoying.

Angron had taxes explained to him once and ol' Rusty's sacrifice is why Imperial Revenue officers can wear jeans on Fridays. Since then the IR has practiced a bold 'hands off' approach with the World Eaters, proving that violence is sometimes an answer.

Horus absolutely pays his taxes. In Horusbux: A currency of his own devising. Lorgar attempted to trick Horus into a ponzi scheme, now all of his money is in Horusbux and he has no idea how it happened. Horus keeps on promising everyone massive returns, usually from the deck of his waryacht, the Live Forever II.

#horus heresy #warhammer 40000 #warhammer 40k #primarchs #imperium of man #wh40k #40k #warhammercommunity

[pitchblackespresso]

I feel like I'm on r/OffMyChest, but there's something I've been meaning to say for some time

I dislike the Zonai

Their execution was lackluster (there's some interesting stuff, but the environmental storytelling is too sparse and inconsistent for any sort of coherent theory-crafting), but what I despise the most is how they're retroactively shoehorned into botw's worldbuilding

The Sheikah tech ? Heavily implied to be a derivative of the Much Superior Zonai tech

Hyrule Castle? Was built to honour Rauru's sacrifice

Calamity Ganon? Leaked gloom-turned-malice from dehydrated Ganondorf's seal

Temple of Time? The ~original~ was Zonai-made

Typhlo Ruins? Actually Hylian made, but to honour the great King Rauru (again)

Rauru himself is Zelda's ancestor (and implied source of her sealing powers, retconning the Triforce)

The Forgotten Temple? Also Zonai and used by King Rauru to hide the Secret Stones

Ancient Hero? Some kinda Zonai hybrid creature

This narrative of "everything was the Zonai/Rauru all along" is one I don't vibe with, because not only does it give inconsistent backstory to things that didn't need it, but they then left us with more questions than answers due to just how little we actually know about the Zonai.

I also wanna mention how much I dislike the Gacha machines that dispense the complete eyesore that are the Zonai devices. They're a fun enough gameplay concept (tho I don't personally like it), but it makes no sense how you get functioning hydrants or rockets out of gachapons. The Sheikah tech was given ample backstory, and clashed with Hyrule's otherwise rugged wilderness for thematic reasons. The Zonai tech is just kind of an ugly reminder that this is a videogame, and that you get these pre-made devices because the devs wanted to make a sandbox, regardless of whether it fits in this medieval high fantasy setting with serious undertones and environmental storytelling. And since they're branded as Zonai-made, they add to my discontent with the Zonai

I love this game, and it's done so much right (even tho some people might say otherwise), but I cannot bring myself to enjoy much of anything related to the Zonai, which, despite being barely in the game, play a huge role in the story, environment and worldbuilding

#i also hate how my disdain for the zonai spilled over to rauru #i really wanna like him but i also hate how he's put on a pedestal at any given moment #he's such a cool character but is boggled by his own hypemen #zelda #totk #rauru #zonai #my text

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

Big Eyes Crew:

best gas station owners you've ever seen

they started a business together and had beef with Boatem where Tango built a giant eyeball over their base which dispensed ravagers onto them. also they're called Big Eye Crew because Keralis and Bdubs both have massive eyes on their skins but Tango DOESN'T so he made big round red glasses for them all to wear and they're iconic frankly.

SILLY GUYS DOING SILLY THINGS

They made a gas station franchise so powerful there was a location on the moon

#mcyt-trios #mcytblr trio bracket #polls #round 2

[miyuhpapayuh]

22

Rolling over to grab her ringing phone, she blindly slides her finger across her screen and groggily says hello.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Leon chuckles on the other end, making her join in with her own tired laugh.

“Shut up,” she mumbles back. “Always been a morning person.”

“I thought it woulda rubbed off on you by now!”

“Maybe one day, but not today!” She quips.

“Happy Valentine's Day, anyway babe. I was gonna wait until you were already up, but I couldn't wait anymore.” He says, and she can see his smile from where she was laying.

“Aww, you are so cute! Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I can't wait to see you later and give you your gifts.” She gushes.

“Aw, you got me something??”

“Of course I did! One of them you can wear on our date tonight– but the rest are surprises!”

“Oh shit, there's more!” He exclaims, making her laugh. “Well, your first gift is sitting on your kitchen counter, when you do get outta bed.”

“Alright, I'm getting up now.” She says, sliding from underneath the covers to head out of her room, into her kitchen. A big orange bag sits, awaiting her.

“Aw, it's orange!” She frowns, walking over to it and looking inside, gasping at the potted plant— her very own poppy plant! It was also orange.

“A poppy plant?! Wait, I'm gonna cry!”

“Oh, don't cry!”

“No, no it's okay! They're happy tears!” She laughs, wiping her face, as she puts him on speaker, sitting her phone on the counter.

“Okay… you okay?” He asks.

“Yeah,” she whimpers. “Ugh, there's a card! More tears!”

Pulling that and the pot from the bag, she giggles at the bright bubble-lettered Zora that's painted on both sides.

“Aw, did you paint this??”

“Of course I did, baby. You like it?”

“It's the cutest thing I've ever seen, Leon. I love it. Nobody's ever bought me a plant before.”

“Well, I've never bought anybody one before, either. Look at us, being each other's firsts.” He exclaims, making her laugh and wipe away another tear.

“Shut up,”

“Ah— open your card, please dear.”

“Okay,” she grabs it off the counter, pulling it from its envelope, “you have to go soon?”

“Yeah, it's been nonstop since I got here, but the moment my supervisor gave me a break, I came straight back to call you. He’ll be looking for me soon.”

“Okay, I won't hold you up too much longer.” She says, looking at the pretty pink card with the holiday name emblazoned on the front in gold calligraphy, opening it up to read what's inside.

“Happy Valentine's Day to the sweetest woman in the world, I love you and cannot wait to see you later tonight. 

In the meanwhile, I've decided to send you on a scavenger hunt— what?! That's so cool!!” She yells.

“I thought you'd say that!” He yells back.

“Once you get to work, there'll be three things for you to find; something big, something tall and something small— all orange, of course.”

“Linda let you hide presents in her restaurant?? Wow, she must love me for real.” She snorts.

“She loves me too, ya know? Told you, we're besties.”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

The first gift she found was her “something tall”– a lava lamp. Not just any lava lamp, the specific one she had been eyeing from one of her favorite online shops.

Orange and black. A curvy designed frame that stands at about two feet. She was in love, already having a place to put it in her mind.

Putting it in her car for safe keeping, she begins looking around for the other two.

“Hmm..” She roams around the dining area, until she sees an orange piece of paper sticking out of a napkin dispenser.

Pulling it out, she begins to read it before squealing. She quickly covers her mouth and looks around, thankfully going unnoticed.

“I'm gonna kick his ass,” she laughs to herself, before reading the card once more. “Happy love day, angel face. There is a certificate attached for a one of a kind bouquet from your favorite flower shoppe. I know you jumped for joy cause you love your flowers! I love you and I cannot wait to see the look on your face. I worked so hard on  this. My fingers hurt. I love you, again. Bye.”

She giggles again, loving the neon orange paper clip that's holding the certificate to the card, how the certificate has poppies and cosmos on it, also wishing her a very happy Valentine's day.

“Goodness, there's one more thing! I might just die in here.”

A small group of customers coming in had her stuffing the card into the front of her apron and moving back behind the counter.

Once everyone was settled, she started to move away from the counter, until something told her to look to her left.

A flat black box is tucked by some papers. She pulls it out and stares at it, her brain mulling over what it could be.

“Hm. It's a lil heavy,” she playfully shakes it, before reading the note taped to the right corner, telling her to open it after work.

Which was a great idea, cause once she pulled the top off the box and found the burnt orange scrapbook Leon made her, all types of screams and expletives flew from her lips.

“Is he fucking serious?!” She screams, again, flipping through the pictures he'd candidly taken over the course of their relationship, so far. The food, the flowers, the dates, many moons and sunsets, baby ducks in ponds, the two of them in their element, and so many more special moments.

“He is so cute,” she tearfully laughs, wiping her face as she hears a knock at her door.

Opening it up to reveal her man, she jumps up in his arms as he laughs and walks inside, closing the door behind himself.

“Heyyy, baby!”

“Damn, girl! You missed me?”

Many kisses are exchanged.

“Absolutely! Been waiting to see you all day!” She exclaims, looking up at him with doe eyes as he pecks her nose.

“Why you think I got here so fast?! Did the mad dash for ya.” He says with a wink.

“I'll let it slide, today,” she snickers as he lets her down. “But, this right here! Best gift I've gotten today, so far.”

“Really? I had so much fun putting it together, too!”

“It looks like it, babe. And yes, you had me in here ugly crying! The pictures of the ducks took me outta here!”

“They were good models that day, for sure,” he laughs, running his hand over her hair, pulling her back to him.

“You're so cute,” she frowns.

“I'm about to get cuter, I fear.”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Soon, they're at her favorite place on earth, getting ready to unveil the bouquet Leon handcrafted for her.

“Okay, close your eyes, sweet girl!” The owner, Inara, says.

“Okay, they're closed!” Zora squeals back.

“Hold out your hands.” Leon says, placing the bouquet in her trembling hands.

“Okay, open!”

Her wide eyes land on the most beautiful bouquet she'd ever seen.

“Wow, you love me a whole lot!” She whispers, watching as her vision gets super blurry with tears. He's right there to wipe them away.

Oranges and pinks and purples. Peonies, cosmos, poppies, a couple white roses in the mix. It was beautiful!

“I love you so much.” He says, wiping her wet eyes, once more.

“He's such a sweetheart,” the owner exclaims. “Made sure he got your favorites and some extras— lord, you taught him well about these flowers!”

Zora giggles, wiping her own eyes, this time.

“He did such an amazing job,” she frowns up at him, those sweet kisses he places on her makes her frown deeper.

“Anything for you, baby.” He cheeses. “Speaking of, I got one more thing for ya.”

She looks up at him in disbelief. “Really??”

He chuckles, an mhm leaving him before they wave to Inara and head towards the exit.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

She gasps. “You got me a kitty???”

“I sure did, baby. Meet Coco.” He says, carefully handing over the tiny orange kitty, smiling at the way she immediately curled up in Zora’s arms.

“Oh, this is what love feels like.” She frowns, rocking herself as she pets her head, snickering at the way her ears flicker.

“Hey sweet baby angel!” She coos.

He smiles, taking a picture with his phone. “Nothing but love, baby.”

“Nah, this is a new level! I don't think we've had too many conversations about cats or dogs, or any of that type of stuff.”

“Cause we're not that kind of couple. I trust my gut when it comes to you. I pay attention to you, and you've never struck me as a dog person.”

“I'm not, no.” She shakes her head, nuzzling her face against Coco's, making Leon laugh at the sight.

“I mean don't get me wrong, dogs are cool! But cats are so independent and I like that. Plus, look at this face!”

She turns her around to face him, those big green eyes looking up at him. He frowns and reaches out to pet her.

“She's adorable! The cutest out of the litter, too. Had to scoop ‘er up.”

“Aw, the cutest of the bunch?! Go you!” She coos, earning tiny squeaks back that make her heart swell.

“How old is she?”

“About a month old? I've got her papers back at the crib.” He says.

“Aw, can we take her home now?!” She asks excitedly.

“Yeah, let's get her signed out and she's all yours, babe.”

With her free hand, she pulls him into a hug, thank you falling from her lips about a thousand times. He kisses her hair, a smile stuck on his face.

“Anything for you, my love.”

Back in her apartment now, she sits Coco down in the fluffy cat bed she'd bought on their way back, loving the way she curls up in it.

“Ugh, she's so cute! I can't believe she's mine.”

“Imagine if I had missed the mark on this,” he snorts, making her laugh too.

“Nah, you nailed it without me even having to say it! I also wanna rename her.”

“To what?”

“Okay, now don't think I'm corny.. but, Valentine.”

“Aw! That's actually really precious.”

“Right?! The sweetest valentine present I've ever gotten from the sweetest valentine I've ever had!”

She squeals as they share a sweet kiss.

“You think she'll respond to it well?”

“Well, let's see..” She looks over at her, her little tail wagging slowly as she looks up at them.

“C'mere Valentine.. c'mere baby girl!” She coos, cupping her hands as she slowly moves away from the fluffy bed.

“Look at her trottin’ over,” he comments, “takin’ her sweet time.”

“It's okay, I'm new!” She whispers, still cooing and calling her by her new name, getting more and more excited as she gets closer to her fingertips.

The minute she hopped into her palms, she had to stop herself from screaming for joy all over again, as the baby kitten peers up at her.

“She's so cute, I cannot take it!” She squeals, watching her roll around and lay on her back, inside her palms. Leon pokes her exposed belly, earning squeaks that resemble laughter.

“Awww!” They coo in unison.

“I've heard that orange cats are sassy,” he notes, and she nods.

“Yeah, one of my aunts used to have one. She was something else. Jumped out the window one day and never came back.” She sighs, looking down at Valentine.

“You are not jumping out of windows okay? No jumping off walls and up onto high surfaces. Mama don't play that, mmkay?” She scoots her into one palm and holds the other up, snickering as her paw connects.

“Like she understands you, for real.”

“Just you wait, we're gonna have our little system up and runnin’ in no time!”

Soon having to get ready for their date, Zora drops Valentine off at auntie Nique’s, who might've been a tinge more excited than Zora once she saw those big green eyes.

“Oh my goodness, look at this sweet baby!” She coos, scooping her up.

“Right?! The most precious kitten I've ever seen!”

“I'm almost shocked she's not gray,” Nique laughs.

“Or black! I love the witchy kitties, too! Maybe she can get a sister later on.”

“Aw, not a slew of em! Lean on me is so in love with you, it's crazy!”

Zora's face scrunches up at the nickname she'd given Leon.

“Lean on me?”

“When you're not strong, yes.” Nique nods, before snickering.

“Anyway, dawg. I'm glad you could watch her for me tonight. God knows I won't be any good after he gets through with me.” She whispers the last part.

“Daaamn, you gettin’ strung up by the ceiling or sumn??”

“Girl, no! I just know ima get put through the mattress once I put this new lingerie on, though!” She whispers again, cackling as they slap hands.

“Just freaky frogs! I love it!”

“So do I! Now, tell Darnell we said hey and he better put his whole foot in whatever he's making you tonight!”

“Either that or my foot's goin’ up his a—” her sentence cuts off as he comes around the corner with a spatula in hand, squinting at her with a sly grin.

“You talkin’ shit, huh? You know I gets down in here for you.”

“I was just playing, babe.”

“Mmmmhm. Hey Zora.” He flashes a smile.

“Hey, boyfriend!” She mocks, making him laugh, before cutting his eyes back at Nique.

Zora snorts, looking between the two of them.

“Should I take Valentine to ma’s?” She jokingly asks.

“Bye, Zora Jean!” Nique laughs, pushing her towards the door.

“Okay, okay! You girls, be good, tonight! Don't give uncle Darnell too much trouble, okay?”

“We gon’ give him hell, girl!” Nique looks at Valentine, before smiling at Zora.

“If you find Nique strung over the balcony, I didn't do it!” He yells from the kitchen, making them laugh.

“And that's my cue!”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°���

Reservations at the Mimosa Grill were made in advance, which gave the couple ample time to get all dolled up for love day.

Smoothing her hands over her black, floor length dress, Zora gives herself a once over in the mirror. Nude lip. Smokey eye. Minimal jewelry besides the citrine earrings Leon had also gifted her. And nothing goes with a dress like that, but big hair!

Voluminous curls sit pretty on her head as she tousles them, loving each way they fall.

She felt so pretty.

Leon is across the hall in her bathroom, fastening the belt to his pants and cuffing the jacket of his all black ensemble, making sure the world sees the icy chain she'd gifted him. The light reflecting off the diamonds had him periodically letting out a “woo!”, making her giggle.

Low fade Leon had come out tonight, and Zora was more than a happy camper. Those waves were a dangerous tide pulling her under, and she already knew neither her nor her panties would survive the night.

Crossing the threshold, they both let out a whistle of appreciation, sizing each other up.

“Damn girl, this is sexy,” Leon says, running his finger along the curved and plunging neckline of her dress, watching the smirk on Zora’s face grow.

“Anifa does it again, I fear.” She laughs, touching the diamonds of his chain. “You iced out!”

“Thanks to my stylist and stunna girl,” he compliments, twirling her about, unable to resist smacking her on the ass.

“Ooh! You better be glad we've got reservations, sir.” She playfully warns as he dips down to kiss her, making her giggle.

“Don't tempt me, girl, I'll bend you ov—” she presses her finger to his lips, shushing him.

“Before you seriously get me started, we better go.”

“Yeah, you right,” he chuckles, releasing his hold on her to grab his keys and lead the way.

Clink!

For the occasion of love, the restaurant was decorated to the nines! Strings of pink and red hearts swayed from the ceiling between the open spaces, vanilla candles sat in the center of each table, along with a single rose wrapped away from the silverware.

“Did you pull strings and make sure this rose was orange?” Zora asks, a smirk covering her lips at his sly smile.

“You know I do my best for ya, poppy.” He winks, making her duck her head down and giggle. He laughs, taking a sip of his drink.

“I knew that was the right moment to use that on ya,” he adds.

“You are ridiculous, Leon. And I love it.” She says with a grin, reaching for his hand across the table.

“And, I love you, Jean.” He uses his height to his advantage and leans across the table for a kiss.

Taking a sip of her own drink, she briefly squeezes her eyes shut at the bite from the moonshine.

“What did you order again?”

“The mooshine sangria,” she laughs to herself. “I knew it would be strong but damn.”

“Is it good, though?”

“Yeah, yeah it's delicious! Just strong,” she smiles, skimming over the menu.

He stares at her a second longer, before doing the same.

Soon their waitress returns to put their orders in, and they're alone again, twiddling each other's fingers.

“Happy love day, as you call it,” Leon says, clinking their glasses together for the second time.

“Yes, happy love day! It's been so overwhelming in the best ways possible.” Zora sighs, chin in palm, staring at her man.

“Had to make our first one memorable, ya know?”

“In true Leon fashion, indeed!”

Their sweet conversation turns from the special occasion to Zora wanting to finally get back into her art world, Leon couldn't be more ecstatic. Even more so as their food finally arrived at the table.

“That's great, babe! When does all of this get set into motion?”

“Well, I still have to talk to Linda about quitting, hopefully she understands. I mean, either way, I'm leaving, but ya know what I mean.”

“Yeah, totally. If she tries anything funny, I'll be on standby.” He says with a couple pats to his chest.

“Stand down, please,” she laughs, continuing to sip her drink. “I'm sure it'll all be fine.”

“Yeah, you heard what I said, though.”

“Yes, father. I'll call if I need ya,” she salutes, as they both laugh.

“But, seriously. What's the next step after that?” He asks, chin in palm like she.

“That's actually a surprise,” she sweetly smiles, “but it'll be so worth it, I promise!”

“Aw, no fair!” He playfully whines as she laughs.

“Aw, come on! Be a good sport!”

“Fine, fine.” He playfully sighs. “But, I will let you know that I'm quitting my job soon, too.”

“Really??” She asks. “And doing what??”

“It's a surprise,” he mocks with a smile.

“You better be glad it's a lovely evening, Leon.” She snorts, sipping her drink as he snickers at her expression.

“Not so funny when the shoe’s on the other foot, huh?”

“Keep it up,” she nods, unable to stop the laugh from coming out.

“Okay, okay! But, I do have one more surprise I can share with you.”

“What is it?”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Zora stomps excitedly in her heels as Leon guides her into their hotel room.

“This blindfold is killing me!” She squeals, making him laugh.

“Okay, okay,” he fiddles with the knot, making her stomp again, her giggles filling his ears.

“Happy Valentine's Day!”

Her wide eyes stare at every girl's dream. The decorated hotel room. And boy was it decked out for his favorite lady.

Oranges of every hue in the room, from the arrangement of cosmos and poppies, many balloons littering the ceiling, homemade cake all the way down to champagne flutes.

“Oh my god…” is all she's able to get out as she takes it all in.

“You l-like it?” He asks, feeling his nerves kick in.

“I love it, babe!” She throws her hands up, turning to face him with glossy eyes, to which he smiles brightly.

“Oh, come here, my big baby,” he chuckles, pulling her into his arms, careful not to smear her makeup.

“I'm glad I didn't do a full face now!” She laughs, the sound muffled by his chest. He joins in the laughter.

Pulling away a bit, they stare back at each other, bursting into more laughter.

“You're goofy,” he pokes fun at her.

“You're goofy,” she pokes back, actually poking him in his side.

“You started it,”

“What are we, fifteen?” She laughs, again.

“No, of course not. We're newly legal, apparently.” He playfully scoffs. “Haven't had that many shots since my college days, honestly.”

“Me, either. I'm praying we don't have hangovers in the morning.”

“You know I'm stocked up on aspirin and water, don't worry your pretty little head!” He places a kiss on the crown of her curly mane.

She felt precious all day long. Those butterflies just kept on multiplying, and now she felt like she was gonna explode.

Unwrapping her arms from him, she grabs his face to pull him down to her level, kissing him deeply.

His long arms completely cage her in, holding her up as he slightly dips them, getting drunk on her lips now, too.

Tongues tangling together, the promise of a night of bliss being spoken between them.

Pulling away, Zora’s chest heaves up and down as she stares up at Leon, who's just as breathless.

“I've got a surprise for you,” she lowly speaks, trailing a finger down the middle of his button-up shirt.

“Yeah? I must need to sit down for this.”

“Unless you wanna fall to your knees.” She quips, making him raise his eyebrows.

With that, she grabs her bag from the counter by the door and disappears into the room to change.

Carefully stepping out of the prettiest dress ever, she shimmies into the orange lingerie she'd fallen in love with, fighting the urge to squeal at how sexy she felt and looked!

Leon was gonna freak!

Adjusting her garters, she grabs the matching satin robe to hide such a set, and heads back out to where her beau is patiently waiting.

His smirk makes her insides clench. She strides over to him, stopping right in front, reaching out to rest her shaky hands on his broad shoulders.

“What's up under here, huh?” He asks, his long fingers fiddling with the knot on her robe.

“Untie it and find out.” She winks.

Doing just that and letting it fall open, he blows out a breath that makes her clench all over again.

“Mmm… all this for me?” He asks, reaching out to touch her anyway, gripping her thick hips, his sweet lips peck her belly and make her giggle.

“Yes, all for you, baby.”

“What a lucky man I am.”

Reaching up to push the silk away from her body, his hands roam back over her curves, kneading and groping as she bites into her lip.

“All for me.”

Standing to his feet, he picks her up and carries her into her their room, kicking the door closed. He drops her on the bed before climbing on top of her.

Her laughter fills his ears as he kisses all over her face, big hands tickling her sides.

“Stop” at different octaves came out of her as she flailed underneath him, slapping at his hands.

“Babe!” She squeals as he finally lets up the tickling, but not the kissing.

Laughter melts into moans, his kisses getting wetter the lower they get, traveling over to her thighs for a nibble in between.

Her garters are pulled at with his teeth before he spreads her legs wider, running a finger over her damp panties.

He watches as she bites her lip in anticipation. He smirks, continuing to tease her.

“You look so good like this,” his finger presses harder, earning a moan from her, “there it is, baby. Don't be shy.”

Her head falls back against the bed, and his free hand finds her neck, another moan leaving her.

Pulling her panties to the side, he whistles at the string of arousal clinging to them. Her head lifts back up and the look on his face makes her clench.

“So fucking wet,” his tongue swipes up her slit, sending her eyes back, her hands coming up to cradle his face as he continues the action.

“Oh my.. oh— oh my,”

His teasing humming puts a smile on her stuttering lips as he starts pulling that first nut to the surface.

“I'm gonna cum!” She pulls his hair, smushing his face against her, losing her mind when he wags it.

Not letting her recover, he makes her cum once again, her thighs beginning to shake in his hold.

“Baby, please..” she moans, softly rolling her hips against his face.

“Mmmm,” his humming sends shocks through her, his hands rubbing her sides.

In a flash, he's right where she needs him, deep inside, rocking against that spot so nicely.

“Look at that,” he mumbles, making their heavy gazes move down to where they join and rejoin again, those gushy noises are music to their ears.

“Feels so good,” she whispers.

His eyes dance back up her face and stay, as his heavy strokes land right into her spot.

“Say it again,” he says.

Like clockwork, she looks up at him, further melting and quaking as his brown eyes stare back.

“Mmmm, so fucking good!” She moans a little louder, earning a smirk from him.

Her pouty lips mouthing such sweet filth, as the man of her very dreams rocks her world.

“Fuck, baby,” her grip on him was beginning to loosen as he continued to fuck her into the mattress.

“Mmhm,” he moans, placing his hand at her chin and his thumb right at her bottom lip.

A faded smile appears on their faces as his thumb makes its way between her lips, coming in contact with her warm tongue and making his eyes roll like they did when he first slid inside.

“Mmmfuhh,” she whimpers around his thumb, feeling her thighs begin to burn.

“You cummin’,” he mumbles, removing his thumb to rub her clit, “let it out, baby.”

Her hands find his face, cupping his cheeks as her mouth drops open at the feeling brewing in her gut.

“Oh my god,” she gasps harshly, losing the rest of her oxygen as he swallows it in a kiss.

Pulling away, their lips retouch as he gets closer and closer to tossing her off the deep end.

“Just like that,” she nods fervently, “don’t stop.. don’t fucking stop.”

“Gimme that shit, babe..”

His hand slides to her throat, gripping tight. His other gripping into the sheets, as he’s close to the edge himself.

“Oh shit,” she moans, immediately feeling the air get sucked out of her lungs as her orgasm rocks through her like a heavy wave.

“I love you,” he groans, his own peak crashing toward him, sending him collapsing on top of her. Her giggles tickle his skin.

“I love you too, baby,” she sighs, her body twitching underneath his own.

“Catch your breath, cause I'm not done.” She whispers, kissing every inch of skin in her reach.

@ghostfacekill-monger @honestpreference @harmshake @henneseyhoe @blackerthings @soufcakmistress @megamindsecretlair @motheroffae @abeautifulmindexposed @thegifstories @starcrossedxwriter @mauvecherie-writes @twistedcharismaaa

#happy late vday lol #miyuhpapayuh #poc writers #blackwriters #black romance #yahya abdul mateen ii #smut #mochaff #zora x leon #black writers

[teabutmakeitazure]

Ok you answered the best, but who of the yandere Phantom Troupe members would be the worse to have your period with?🫣

Okay this is a fun one lol

Phinks: 6/10 Gets the wrong products every single time. He doesn't understand why there're so many kinds of things for menstruation. Once he said, "Can't you just plug yourself?" It's safe to say that he was delivered the icy glare of death before he understood that he had made a mistake. Do not attempt to teach him. Just... make him get what you need. He's pretty chill about it otherwise, so the most you get for teasing is him saying that he's not going to pick a fight with you because you're supposedly moody. Also believes that taking painkillers will make you weak. So yes, you don't get painkillers, only warm calloused hands as heating pads.

Feitan: 5/10 Can and will sniff you to confirm that you are, in fact, on your period. He stays away from you during the time for some reason. The things you need magically appear like how there's your favourite chocolate just magically sitting in the cupboard after so long. Feitan doesn't interact with you much verbally. Most of what he does is just keep his distance and stare. It's unnerving but he eventually stops when he realises that you aren't going to snap at him for everything. The only reason he is given a 5 out of 10 is because the only time he relented and tried massaging your abdomen for cramp relief, he sharpened his nails and 'jokingly' said that this wouldn't be a problem anymore if he simply removed the uterus right now. That was not a fun encounter even when compared to the expired ibuprofen tablets he has.

Nobunaga: 6/10 Claims he's doing some kind of noble deed attending to you during this time. It's annoying how he laughs at you when you're angry and calls you cute. It's even more annoying when he calls you a tomato sauce dispenser. Other than that, he's very laid back about it. The worst part about spending that time with him is how his perception of you changes a little bit. He starts treating you more like a cute little pet that he has to feed and cuddle other than the human being that lives with him. Will only let you eat chocolate if you share, more like hand feed him a little. Also invalidates anything you say with claiming that it's that time of the month so you're not in your right mind.

Shalnark: 7/10 Is very chill about it. He's understanding and patient with your moodiness. Shalnark also lets you explain whatever you need or want in whatever way you deem fit, as in letting you order stuff with the groceries instead of spelling it out. If he's in a good mood, he might even let you have painkillers. Otherwise you have to go and ask him for a hot water bottle. He jokes around a lot too and with his boyish smile, it seems even more bothersome than it should. His favourite joke is to call you a bottle of ketchup. Will 100% squeeze you from behind and call you his little ketchup bottle. Joking that you might feed him said ketchup doesn't work so don't bother trying that.

Chrollo: 7/10 Absolutely insufferable but a 7 out 10 solely because he knows his limits with the jokes. Chrollo makes you spell out in great detail what products you need. He even goes as far as to question your preferences. Why do you prefer one product over the other? Why do you want this certain type of pad? Why does its top sheet matter? Why not scented ones? Many, many questions but thankfully they're only out of curiosity. He has never dared to tell you that you're being dramatic because you're on your period but he does sometimes test the waters with things like, "I realise that you're going through hormones and such, but let's work this out like adults." Mostly very infantilising but hey, the pampering is welcome. At least the ibuprofen isn't always expired.

#they're all insufferable when you think about it #Feitan just watching you from the corner of the room quietly in a menacing way but its actually because he's afraid you might snap at him #ask #anon #hunter x reader #yandere hunter x reader #yandere hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter x reader #phinks x reader #yandere phinks x reader #feitan x reader #yandere feitan x reader #nobunaga x reader #yandere nobunaga x reader #shalnark x reader #yandere shalnark x reader #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo x reader

[harocat]

Why People (Especially Gay People) Should Watch Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Thirty plus year old former greatest martial artist in the world, Li Lianhua, travels around in a poor man's version of Howl's Moving Castle dispensing sometimes quack, sometimes seems to be pretty accurate medical care to people throughout the land for a quick buck. He is dying a potentially preventable death because he was poisoned ten years ago and refused to seek treatment from his martial arts sect because he felt like he let them down (a lot of them died, and they think he died too). Hopefully he doesn't die for real at the end. He's been stripped of 90% of his martial arts powers, so he basically is just some guy. He does not GAF about almost anything. He likes to cook. He's smarter than everyone. He's our hero.

He has a cute dog by the way. Its name is Fox Spirit, but it is very much a dog.

Along the way he meets Fang Duobing, an annoying, oblivious to class consciousness (but still lovable) rich kid who makes it his mission to travel together with Li Lianhua so they can solve crime. He has huge puppy energy. He wants to be an official detective, and he needs LLH to help him out. He has a serious case of heart eyes for his shifu, and he shows zero interest in any woman ever. He believes, due to a previous encounter, that he's destined to be Li Xiangyi's student in martial arts. Oh and Li Xianygi is Li Lianhua's true identity, so he's kind of like, FDB's shifu twice over. He has no idea that LLH is actually the swordsman of legend.... yet.

Along the way they solve murder mysteries and also get involved in tomb raiding adventures complete with Indiana Jones style booby traps, backstabbing, and weird, creepy kids.

By the way, LLH's archrival from a decade ago, before he left the martial arts world, was Di Feisheng. He leads up an alliance that LLH's was pitted against, and one that was viewed as a scourge in the martial arts world.

LLH's last battle before his 'death' was with DFS, so the martial world believes DFS killed him, as does DFS. Di Feisheng finds him again, and is super DTF (fuck, or fight? actually both), but when he finds out that LLH lost his martial arts powers, he makes it his mission to restore them so they can have the final showdown they deserve.

The fight scenes rule.

Were they friends in the past before they became rivals? We don't know yet. All we know is that they have extreme divorced energy, and DFS wants nothing more than to get remarried. He's gay. He's so gay. He's legitimately confused when he finds out that LLH has an ex girlfriend. He's seriously like 'I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN WOMEN.'

You bet your ass LLH is wearing a wedding dress here.

So all three of them travel together to solve murders, which they do, with aplomb. The whole time DFS pretends he doesn't care while making moon eyes at LLH and making sure no harm ever comes to him. Fang Duobing is confused and probably jealous.

Yeah he really did pledge to marry Li Lianhua in like, episode two.

He also, at that point, has NO idea the true identity of either of them.

Right now DFS is no longer traveling with them, but I believe he'll be back to them soon (he's still plenty involved in the story and present), and the three will continue their shenanigans. And anyway, he's still annoying LLH despite them not traveling together (to be fair, pretty much everyone annoys LLH). There's also sect drama! Secret alliances! Completely wack murder mysteries! And always with a side-dish of heavy homo. They're going to be the best found family.

There's eighteen episodes of forty out right now, and it's streaming on IQIYI or wherever you choose to pirate your Chinese Dramas. It's EXTREMELY entertaining every single episode; funny, addictive, and yeah, pretty gay.

#mysterious lotus casebook #di feisheng #fan duobing #li lianhua

[drdemonprince]

I am feeling very conflicted because I want to do more activism but I live in a very isolated area, and the one organization that works here that I even remotely align with politically has had some issues with the people it's supposed to serve (immigrants in this case) complaining that it doesn't provide many services needed and some people in it are dicks. Also, the options they have to collaborate are very much not autistic friendly. At the same time, I hate the thought of sitting back and doing nothing -beyond what I already do, which is limited to people I know- because the option to do something is not perfect. What would you recommend?

It sounds as though the organization you are looking at is a nonprofit that provides social services. I would not consider working with such an organization to be activism, usually. They will present volunteering your time with them as "activism," but it's really just free labor, somewhere on the spectrum between being charitable with your time and labor exploitation.

There is very little that most nonprofits do to advance any kind of social or political change of any kind. For the most part, nonprofits function to maintain their own operations, with a side hustle of dispensing very limited resources to marginalized people who will remain just as marginalized afterward.

More on this:

If you'd like to be involved more in your community in a way that feels meaningful and that works with your disability, I would encourage you to think far more broadly than merely joining an existing easily-findable organization. That kind of search will tend to skew toward liberal, nonprofit-led, politically toothless efforts. Instead, think of what you can do to make greater contact with the people in your area who are marginalized and share struggles with you.

Can you give homeless people meals in the park and ask them how they're doing? Can you get involved in your local parks or nature reserves? (there if you're volunteering your time, at least it can be for something enriching and beneficial). Is there a local Food Not Bombs chapter? A local Muslim community center that could use safety marshalls? A local abortion clinic that could use the same? Do you have neighbors who are single parents and need childcare help? Dogsitting? Does the senior down the street need their lawn mowed?

Is there a local Facebook group where you can offer help to people in your community in need? Start saying hello to people. Asking them about their day. Asking about what's going on in the neighborhood. What needs done, who needs help, what problems are plaguing the area that nobody is doing anything about? Are there any local businesses that are discriminatory and need to be taken to account publicly? Are there forests you can help protect from deforestation with tree spiking? Is there a jail near you where you can provide jail support, handing out food and clothes and water and letting released prisoners make phone calls?

Some of this stuff might not seem like activism in the most obvious, in-your-face, picket-signs-and-banners-in-the-streets sense. But it's a lot more impactful than a lot of that is on its own. It's community building. I'd also recommend reading some stuff on the Anarchist Library website about building one's own affinity groups. You don't need a big formal organization to make a difference -- in fact, for many structural and economic reasons, it can be harder to make a difference within a large group that faces public exposure and the risk of legal censure. A few new homies in your town who care as much as you do can do a whole lot of good.

Some reading:

[eldritch-spouse]

Hello… Yeah, my boss wants me to *heavy sigh* “work late” again tonight… What choice?! ...*eyes water*… I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you… *wipes eyes*...Yeah, it is…*sees Pinter getting out of a meeting looking very irritated*...Sorry dear but I gotta get back to work… I love you too dear, bye-bye *hangs up phone and sighs*

[Mansplain manipulate manwhore time.]

Pinter exits the meeting room with a fiersome scowl.

Some saps just don't quite have the synapses to pick up on what the slime is putting down. Sometimes they're smart enough to realize they need to play along to keep even a shred of their earnings, other times they like to wave their little policies and evident breaches of contract in his face. Like they have a modicum of a choice here. Usually, this amuses the business shark, today it's just irritating him, if you had to guess.

The man who walked in with Pinter is waved away by the fuming monster, likely ordered to get him a drink. And fast.

His eyes scheme the room, and for a sliver of a second, you dare hope that he misses your presence entirely. You even settled by the water dispenser, like some kind of sad decorative plant.

No such mercy.

The slime's whiskers perk and he moves towards you, prompting you to shove your phone away.

" Get me that cunt's profiles again. " Pinter grumbles, adjusting his tie.

" Y- Yes sir. "

He sighs when the poor dude tasked with getting his coffee shows up, taking it and making yet another dismissive flick of the finger to let him know he should leave.

" That your boy calling you just now? "

Boy. Tch.

" No... No, it was just- "

" Don't lie to me, girly. " Pinter chuckles. " I knew you were going to call him when I told you to stay. "

He pauses enough to let you open your mouth but not to let you actually speak.

" You ever notice he always makes you feel like shit when you have to work late? Look at that little frown, hm. You didn't look like that before you called him. "

You huff. " N- No sir, he just cares for my health- "

Pinter laughs. " Oh, you're so cute. Sweetheart, he acts like a manbaby. I bet he got snappy about it again. What's he doing for you? Is he putting in extra hours too? No, I bet he's spreading his ass on the couch and muttering about his bitch of a girlfriend. "

Well, he did start bitching... And that gets on your nerves honestly. Wanting the conversation to end, you simply shrug and look off to the side, waiting.

Your boss beams out of you, jostling you to stand straighter than a plank when he claps a hand onto your shoulder.

" Jeez, you're going to put me in a bad mood like that. " You're pretty sure he's still fuming from that meeting. " How about we get something sweet from that pastry we passed by earlier, hm princess? "

You can't bring yourself to feel offended when that same hand moves to comfortably grab onto the meat of your waist.

#Pinter oc #tce rp ask

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hello!

I’ve been thinking about this prompt for awhile now, but I’d like to hear your takes on it! if say another event like lost in the book happened but instead of stitch, they meet Winnie the Pooh and his friends— which of the cast do you think would relate most to the characters?

I uh 😅 don’t know a lot about Winnie the Pooh or its characters, so my thoughts here are based on very, veeery basic understandings of them.

Pooh — His defining trait is his loyalty and willingness to help others, so I automatically don’t see many of the NRC boys relating to Pooh’s softness. He might be a better fit with one of the light cosmic element boys (Kalim, Silver, even Rook) or Yuu.

Piglet — He’s soft spoken and always nervous or worrying about something. I think of Epel and Idia as the "soft spoken" ones of the group, but Idia is the more generally anxious one. Epel's only really "shy and meek" when he's forced to act more polite; his true personality is much rowdier and more stubborn.

Tigger — Tigger is bright and enthusiastic. Any number of the cheerier members of the main cast could fit here with him: Cater, Kalim, etc. I would say Sebek (at least when it's a Malleus-related task or sentiment) works.

Eeyore — The most “different” of the Pooh cast; Eeyore tends to be down in the dumps and/or unenthusiastic. I see Idia and Leona best relating to Eeyore, since the former is usually pessimistic about everything while the latter has depressive symptoms that he usually masks with arrogant confidence.

Rabbit — Prideful and stubborn self-appointed leader, but ready to hop into action when he is called upon. Most of the dorm leaders could honestly slot in nicely here, particularly Riddle (whom we see in book 6 trying to be the "leader" of his group with Azul and has a generally very rigid way of thinking).

Kanga and Roo — Loving mother and curious, adventurous son duo. Various combinations can work here, although each pairing kind of represents a different kind of parent-child or general familial relationship. (Vil and Epel, Trey and Riddle, Idia and Ortho, Leona and Cheka, Jamil and Kalim, etc.) It really depends on how you want to look at it.

Owl — A know-it-all who actually dispenses the wrong information more often than not. I'd say Lilia or Jade is most Owl-like. They're the most likely to share false knowledge, but unlike Owl, it doesn't come from a place of genuinely not knowing but rather purposefully fucking up the information to mess with people.

Christopher Robin — A kind and helpful boy who shares his stories with the animals of the 100 Acre Woods. I wasn’t sure if I should include him here, but the Disney website lists him as a core member of the cast so I thought, “might as well!” Since Christopher Robin is the "odd one out" who shares stories with everyone, which i think it suits Yuu (the photographer/one who records memories) quite well.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #question #Winnie the Pooh #Pooh bear #Piglet #Tigger #Owl #Rabbit #Christopher Robin #Kanga #Roo #Eeyore #Yuu #Silver #Kalim Al-Asim #Jamil Viper #Scarabia #Rook Hunt #Leona Kingscholar #Cater Diamond #Riddle Rosehearts #Trey Clover #Idia Shroud #Ortho Shroud #Ignihyde #Epel Felmier

[juno-of-wonderland]

Vampire au

I decided to do it in the form of a dialogue because… there really isn't a reason, it seemed fun

Riddle Rosehearts

"I would never succumb to an act like this, it is my duty to protect you and I will resist this thirst… even if you give me your consent, I still don't want to hurt you, so follow the rules for once and return to the your dorm!”

Leona Kingsholar

"your smell is so magnificent, I'm sure your blood tastes even better, hey herbivore… would you fight if I bit you?"

Azul Ashengrotto

"…you are my precious pearl, even if we didn't have an agreement, I would still do everything not to hurt you and make this situation favorable for both of us…I don't want another human, just you accepted me and I accepted you I value it more than any of my contracts"

Jamil Viper

"Blood? Don't worry about it, I've already prepared myself in advance for this…if my dispensation runs out?…what are your favorite meals? If I fed on you, you'd be very weak, so I want you give me a little comfort since you offered to help me"

Vil Schoenheit

"potato, if you think I'm one of those inelegant animals that are thirsty for blood, you're wrong, I have control over my will and my contacts can easily find a blood bag for me…but I still appreciate your kindness …who knows, one day your blood will hypothesize me to the point where I couldn't resist, it's better not to stuff yourself with carbohydrates, they're bad for your health and ruin the whole flavor"

Idia Shroud

"…ah! I w-wasn't looking at y-your neck! I swear! I-I would never do something w-with someone a-amazing as you- I MEAN, you want to go for blood with me! that's it, go be like in an rpg…if you get scared you can hold my arm Meh heh heh"

Malleus Draconia

"you're the… most stunning and curious human I've ever met, I was thinking, we've known each other for a while, could I have the honor of tasting your blood?… no, I won't bite your neck heh , your wrist is the one I would bite…unless, you see us close enough for that"

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #disney twst #twst idia #twst riddle #riddle rosehearts #twst leona #twisted wonderland leona #leona kingscholar #azul twisted wonderland #twst azul #azul ashengrotto #jamil #twst jamil #jamil viper #vil twst #vil twisted wonderland #vil #idia shroud #twisted wonderland idia #malleus draconia #twst malleus #twisted wonderland malleus #Au #Twisted wonderland au

[blue-chimera]

Re: Dean killing Amy (and lying about it)

I know this is a controversial thing in the fandom, and — for the record — I think that the way Dean handled this situation was wrong. But I think that Dean's primary sin was not having an honest conversation with Sam that got both of them on the same page before he took action. Not the fact of killing Amy by itself.

The thing is this: what Sam & Dean do is not "dispensing justice." Justice doesn't really exist outside the trappings of society. None of the sentient monsters they kill ever get the benefit of a jury of their peers. They don't try to rehabilitate any of them. There is no probation. There's no social contract. There's generally no second chances. The monsters are too powerful, and hunters simply don't have the resources to even approach the concept of justice without an institution behind them.

For example: When they attack any given vamp nest, Sam & Dean have no way of knowing whether all vamps they're killing are murderers or would-be murderers. Maybe some of the vamps inside are newly-turned & haven't even had the chance to kill someone or choose to abstain. Maybe some limit themselves to blood bags & just stay with the nest for protection. They don't know, and they can never really know. They just gather enough evidence to satisfy themselves that they've got the right target (with no oversight — they themselves are judge, jury, and executioner) & then they kill the monsters in front of them in an attempt to minimize the loss of human life.

For the most part, they are saving lives, and that's a good thing. But they walk morally ambiguous lines while doing it all the time.

On to Amy's case: Amy defends her actions by saying that these deaths were necessary to save her child's life. Is that sufficient justification for killing multiple people? What if her child turns out to just be sickly for the rest of his life? What if it turns out that he can't live on dead flesh like she can? Does anyone seriously think that Amy would stop killing for him if, at some point, the body count got too high? If some night she couldn't get her hands on a criminal, but she spots someone changing a tire on a lonely highway & has the chance to grab him instead?

And that's not even to get into the whole question of whether any of the criminals she killed could've been rehabilitated themselves or whether they really deserved execution for their crimes. If I recall correctly, we get to see that at least one of them seems to be a really bad person — the show goes out of its way to get us to side with the pretty woman & her small child over these "scumbags" — but that doesn't mean they were all complete wastes of life.

Ultimately, then, was it right or wrong to kill Amy? I think it's impossible to say. But I think Sam & Dean make that same kind of judgement call together all the time. And, in the absence of any other system, that's the best they can do.

Now, I understand why Dean went behind Sam's back: he was trying to spare him the pain of her death, much like he'd tried to spare him the pain of Madison's death. He was also concerned that Sam wasn't mentally healthy/stable enough to deal with her death, either. (And it didn't help that Sam snuck out to deal with the case solo — something that surely gave Dean flashbacks to the last time he'd taken off alone, thinking he was with Dean the whole time.)

But Sam deserved an honest conversation on the subject. And Amy deserved to at least have the two of them deliberate together before killing her.

#spn meta #crit & disagreement welcome! #understanding dean winchester #dean winchester #sam winchester #amy pond #spn

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Weekend all :) First off sorry I forgot to thank everyone last ep. My Chris rage was immense so it knocked me off kilter haha So thank you all for reading ❤️ We’ve hit another fav on my list. The dance alone makes this episode amazing. It’s also the things leading up to it that are also great. This definitely has the why aren’t you together moment? Excited to cover their iconic dance. Let’s get going.

4x18 Backstabbers

We begin with Tim telling Lucy they're not riding together. That she's with Nolan and he's with Aaron today. I love Lucy’s little nose scrunch. Clearly not happy she has to ride with someone else for her shift. Riding with Nolan wasn’t on her list of things she wanted to do today and it shows. I can't get over her dislike of being separated from him for the day. I do love her sassy reply though. Can’t let him know not riding with him bums her out.

Also we all know he would rather be riding with her as well. But you know neither of them can admit as such. Because god forbid we do that eh? So they bury their feelings in their banter per usual. Definitely got that old married couple energy going on here. The sassy eyebrow pump she does is so cute. Tim is gonna miss her we all know it haha We also get that Tall/Smol shot I love so much as well. Always happy to get one of those.

They pass Webb on their way to the kit room. He tells Tim what a good job he did on the Stewart case. Lucy is smiling then putting things together. Saying isn’t she the one who solved it? The one who made the connection? Also that she got punched in the face while arresting him...

Tim cutely says ‘You’re jealous.’ Clearly amused by this reaction of her's. Then goes on a classic Tim rant. Asking if that’s why she does this job? For high fives from Webb? We all know that’s not what she’s asking for here Timothy. Lucy tells him it would be nice to have some recognition. It is part of the reason she took being his side. Amongst other reasons….

He then does what he thinks she wants and it backfires. Pretty badly. This isn’t what she meant by recognition. I do love him winking at her while he’s explaining it to Webb. Saying how he couldn’t have solved it without her. All it does it make Tim look even better. Because Webb just continues to praise Tim. He can't possibly think that's what she wanted LOL Now it looks like he is being selfless and sharing credit.

Lucy’s reaction is hilarious when he asks her if she feels better? Cleary not Timothy... She is still pissed because this is after the fact. She wanted the recognition when the case happened. Not after when Tim’s name was already the arresting officer. It's not the same thing. Oh my love you aren’t getting what’s she’s throwing down right now ha Her body language and facial expression expressing her discontent with him.

Aaron joins them and makes the worst decision he could. Kissing Tim’s ass. Idk why he would think this was a good idea. Especially after riding with the female version of Tim LOL Tim is straight forward with Aaron. Tells him to not kiss ass and set up the shop. He turns to Lucy looking for advice. Wisdom of any kind. She is the Tim dictionary after all. No one better to go to about this man.

Unfortunately she is too caught up in own thing to dispense anything helpful. Just goes off on a rant about credit. How he shouldn't let Tim just steal it from him. Poor Aaron is like 'uhhh but I’m a rookie…so that is not helpful at all' ha I love her pout and restlessness as the scene ends. Lucy is so salty and needs to vent. Aaron is not your guy for that sadly.

We catch up to Lucy full on ranting to Nolan about Tim. Telling him it’s not even about the recognition. I mean…it kinda is ha She continues on saying how every single case file has Tim’s name on it. How she’s the one filing all the reports for it. She asks Nolan how she’s supposed to take on more responsibility if no one knows what she’s capable of? Nolan being the dope he is tries to get factual on her. *sigh* John this is why you are just friends LOL You clueless dope.

Asking her 'Wasn’t riding with Tim her idea?' Lucy says yes cause he takes on all the high profile cases. Which is huge for her. Nolan adds in that she is seeing a down side to that now? She nods and he continues to put his foot in his mouth cause Nolan. Saying she should just get reassigned then. Tim would understand. (I don’t know he would...) Also that's not what she wants at all. She was upset they weren't riding for one day together. So there's no way she's walking away from being his aide.

Nolan is being such a man right now. Trying to solve her problems when she just wants to vent. To hear ‘yeah that sucks .’ Or ‘Tim should give you credit’ I love her calling him out on it. Like listen John you are here to listen not problem solve haha Luckily he does as such and repeats back that Tim is the "worst" (I mean he’s not she just stupid frustrated with her work hubby ha). Lucy’s cute little smile after he does is adorable. Like good boy Nolan. ha

We flit back to Tim and Aaron. He tells Tim he’s ready for any test he wants to throw his way. Tim says that’s why he’s not going to. That Harper is a great T.O. (Look how far we’ve come since s2. My heart.) He’s been on the job long enough he doesn't need them. He lets Aaron know today isn’t about if he will make it. It’s about what kind of officer he will become when he does.

Aaron asks Tim how they’re gonna find that out? Tim says by figuring out his superpower. He starts to list everyone’s. He’s spot on for Harper and of course for his girl. I mean her empathy is one of her biggest strengths. She is very good at adapting to any situation. I mean her biggest adaption was Tim at first. Hehe It is her superpower no doubt.

He then says Nolan talks a lot LMAO Aaron isn’t disagreeing….I love Tim’s answer to his follow up question. That if he doesn’t have one he’ll be Smitty Haha Aaron looking nervous and feeling like this is still a Tim test somehow…I mean it is. Just a character based one. Which is pretty damn important to Tim Bradford. So...you should be nervous. lol

This next portion for Tim and Aaron is hilarious. They’re called to a guy magnet fishing. He tells them he found something strange. It’s a sword. Aaron mentions a murder that involved decapitation recently. Tim tells the man they’ll need to take it. He looks bummed but says at least he can get money on something else.

Aaron panics and levels Tim. Knocks him to the ground immediately. Poor Tim and his back issues. I have those now it hurts to watch him tackle him to the ground like that. Tim makes a crack saying 'Clearly being able to identify fake grenades is not his super power.' LOL Aaron makes a face and we see Tim’s back covered in goose crap hahaha Oh Aaron is bombing left and right.

They're back in the shop and Tim is eating his potential super powers for breakfast. Kudos to Aaron for suggesting more and more though. Except Tim is destroying every single of one of them…It’s so funny to watch. I mean it’s not funny for poor Aaron LOL Just more proof no challenges him like Lucy. Truly no one can match what she brings to their dynamic. You know Tim feels it when she’s absent. So he is just mowing down Aaron in the process haha poor guy. I do love Aaron though. He’s such a goober and it shows through out the rest of this season and into the next. He was a great addition to the cast.

Tim and Aaron respond to domestic call. This man just got paroled and wants to see his son. His ex is fighting him saying he can't be anywhere near them. Tim takes the man's ID to run him and Aaron asks to talk to the man. He does a good job calming him down with his own experience. Tells him I’m sure he’s dreamt of this moment for years.

He’s also sure this wasn’t how he expected it to go down. That he needs to remember it’s been years for them. They've been living their lives while he was gone. So they might not be ready but someday they might. Gives him his card and the number for James if he needs it. They can help him get back on his feet when he's ready for it. Tim walks up and tells him good job. Finally got one right. Yay Aaron.

Tim walks up to Aaron at the wedding reception to discuss his super power. Wanting to make sure he knows what it is. He's been searching for their entire time together. Tim tells him that it’s experience with being incarcerated. Clearly he has a connection to those that have been in prison. That empathy and compassion is what he can build his career on. Gah I love when he’s in teaching mode. Fine af. *fans self* Teach away sexy. This scene ends with funny bit about the park moment haha I enjoyed them together a lot.

This next moment is an all time fav of mine. Tim surprising Lucy not once but twice with his actions. First off by bringing up that dance he 'owes' her from 3x14. You know Tim kinda made the first move with her more than once before they were together. 3x14 being one and this being another. He’s the one to bring the dance back up. A dance I’m sure she never expected him to bring back up. We all know he wanted to dance with her and this was his sly way of doing that. So he uses the guise of saying it's still owed to her.

Tim ‘I don’t do weddings’ Bradford wants to dance with his girl. This is his way of getting that but still being himself about it. Acting like he has to do this. When I’m sure that dance has been on his mind on and off since that moment happened. We see right through you Timothy but it's ok hehe The absolute sass from Lucy is on par for her. Always toe to toe with him. She too is excited he’s cashing this in. You can tell she is happy he remembered this dance. A debt was owed hehe Tim making a face but you know he loves it. She is his equal in so many ways but especially for banter. Tells him like it is and he keeps coming back for more.

Ahhh these two idiots in love. Looks at this man when she takes his hand. That is his full blown Lucy smile. That 'I’m a goner for this woman and would do anything for her.' smile. She is the only one who brings that out in him. He’s so love with her at this point you’d have to be blind not to see it. He lights up when she takes his hand and makes a classic Lucy expression at him. You could power a city with that smile of his. The way they walk onto the dance floor you'd think they were each others date to this party.

Harper’s daughter earlier said she liked her mom with James. Noting that ‘You’re happy when you’re around him.’ These two are never happier than when they are around each other. Their true self’s come out and they are radiating joy. Look at those two above. They are carefree and light as a feather in this moment. Projecting heart eyes as far as the eye can see. You’re never gonna see them be this way with their current SO’s. They don’t bring out the best in them. Anyone around them can see they’re gone for one another. Except them….

Tim is heart eyes galore for his girl from the minute they hit the dance floor. Lucy is flying pretty high herself. Look at the way she is looking at him in that first gif. Transparent as ever at hiding her feelings for him. Tim starts off with the thing he knows is bugging her. He didn’t spend the day with her but he knows her. Knows it ate at her all day long. He also knows it's something he needs to rectify.

Lucy has simmered down at this point about it. It’s evident in her reply to him. Tim forges forward anyways. I do want to note the eye contact between these two. It never breaks as they speak to each other. It's so intimate. I love him gesticulating his fingers around her hand. Re-wrapping them around hers as he explains himself. It's a cute fidgety thing he does while trying to get what he needs to say out. It's the little things I love so much .

He starts out STRONG complimenting her. Not only complimenting her but saying she is in the top 5 he’s ever trained.(Psst. She was the best one.) No better praise she could receive in this moment than that. Lucy being Lucy has to make a joke. She craves his praise but also can’t handle it at the same time. I feel that girl I’m the same way. Tim is looking down at her with massive heart eyes might I add. Saying he wants her to have a successful career.

He wants to support her career the way she’s always supported his. No hesitation and putting her first. Look at the way she is beaming up at him when he says this. The way she's searching his face as he speaks. Gah how do these two not know they’re in love? Honestly. She looks so enamored with him as he’s talking. Their smiles and heart eyes are so loud. They’re screaming how they feel to the entire party.

Tim shocks her even further with his next set of comments. Lucy is already on cloud 9 as is. He’s asked her to dance, he’s complimented her in the best way and said he wants her career to be successful. She is in serious shock when he tells her he’s listing her on all future reports as the arresting officer. Lucy is in awe of this man right now. Not only for doing this but for how he’s grown. As a person and as a sergeant.

For him to step aside like this and give her the glory. To put her career ahead of his so she can succeed. The way she says ‘But you’re senior officer.’ Reminds me of her in 5x12 being in the same amount of disbelief replying ‘But that’s a desk job….’ Lucy can’t believe what he’s giving her and putting aside. He finishes it off with his version of I love you at this point. Saying she deserves to be recognized. What he's also saying is she deserves to be recognized by him. He's so damn soft in the delivery of his words. His body language also as relaxed as we've ever seen it.

The way he looks at her while he says this. Be still my heart. Screaming his feelings in this moment without realizing. Showing Lucy he hears her and has done something about it. That he cares, wants her to be a success, and that he’s putting her first just like she always has done for him. Lucy is sassy in her retort because she can be. (Ain’t no one else talking to this man the way she does) She is looking up at him with the same amount of affection he's shooting her way. Telling him 'You’re right I do. Thank you.' haha Look at her. She’s saying I love you right back in this moment. *sigh* These two.

Everything about this moment makes me squee. The non stop romantic looks they’re throwing each others way. The way they’re gazing into each other eyes the entire time. Forgetting everyone else there and the fact that they can see this love fest. Then comes the cutest most carefree part. Look at the smiles on these two! They’re so gone for each other at this point. I imagine this would be similar to how they’ll dance at Nolan’s wedding. With a little more closeness and kisses ha

Seriously though. Have we ever seen Tim this happy and relaxed? Only when he’s with her. It’s oozing out of him in S4. The laughing, the smiles, Lucy complimenting his moves. That glorious smile of his when she does. Be more in love you two. If someone just saw these gifs no context. They’d think they were a couple in love having the time of their lives on the dance floor. It’s hard to believe they were dating other people at this point. I mean look at this scene. They look so damn happy together. Truly just enjoying one another’s company.

Lucy is beaming with happiness when he spins her around. How he leans into her as he spins her around. Her laughter as she leans into him after he does. My heart is gonna implode from the cuteness everyone haha There’s a reason it’s one of my all time fav moments. It’s so sweet Imma get diabetic. Such a good episode I cannot. One of my favs of the season. For this moment alone right here. *sigh* I love them. Moments like this I knew were cementing them for s5. Slow burn at its finest.

~~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

James and Nyla ❤️

Grey, Wes and James making the video while Silas critiques them is hilarious. Makes me laugh everytime cause they’re so bad LOL

Thank you again to everyone. You all are the best for your continued support. The likes, comments and reblogs are everything to me see you all in 4x19 :)

#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #waiting on s6 #winter rewatch #s4 #4x18 Backstabbers #the rookie 4x18 #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well. #otp: some things matter more. #otp: you did good. #otp: you're nothing like him. #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #the rookie #tim bradford x lucy chen

[jor-elthatendswell]

It's a well worn topic at this point but the imminent release of The Marvels has me thinking about how militaristic the Marvel Cinematic Universe is, with Monica Rambeau aka Photon, a habour patrol member in the comics, reimagined as a captain in the US Air Force.

She follows Hawkeye, who was changed from an argumentative former circus performer with a heart of gold (a character so staunchly against lethal force he once revoked his own wife's Avengers membership because she sort of, maybe, subconsciously allowed a villain to fall to his death) into a hard-nosed black ops assassin.

Sam Wilson/ Falcon made his celluloid debut as an army man with twin submachine guns attached to his wrists. It’s a far cry from his print counterpart’s introduction as a social worker by day who uses his skill at falconry to protect his neighbourhood.

If we allow the argument that modern cinema goers are accustomed to a sprinkling of realism to make their superheroes palatable (and it’s a strange argument really- why should realism be a desirable quality in summer blockbuster escapism?) then what actually constitutes “realism”.

Sure, a man who learnt uncanny skill with a bow and arrow growing up with a travelling show couldn’t possibly hold his own alongside Hulk or Thor in the real world (and, yes, there isn’t a Hulk or Thor in the real world; as I say, this is a strange argument), but if he learned those exact same skills in some kind of military context then that somehow passes the bar for realism? The sinister upshot is that these children’s heroes become more warlike just as, globally, they reach more children than ever before.

Increasing the realism of superhero stories only serves to make them problematic. DC Comics' Batman, who is the frequently subjected to “realistic” treatments, is the prime example. If, in real life, a billionaire tooled himself up with the best weapons and body armour money can buy and began dispensing violent “justice” with no accountability, then of course that wouldn’t be a good thing. If they wore a costume with pointy ears and started calling themselves “Batman” then of course we would question their sanity. But Batman isn’t real; it’s a story. Nobody thinks The Muppet Show advocates animal cruelty. Quite the opposite, if anything. ("Not unless they're watching it", as Waldolf once heckled) Yet if a filmmaker decides they’re going to make a “grounded and realistic” remake where Fozzy is played by a real live bear wearing a pork pie hat and spotty necktie, then that's a whole other story. Suspend your disbelief and superheroes are less like the police or army and more akin to volunteers and activists, doing what they can with what they have to improve the lives of those around them. Their actions take the form of crime fighting only because that’s what makes for exciting colourful adventure stories for children.

In the MCU, even Marvel’s poster boy, Spider-Man (another champion of non-lethal solutions, known for his compassion even to his enemies and who possesses an enduring appeal to young children) is given a literal sheen of the military-industrial complex in the form of “Stark Tech” armour, replete with military grade strike drones. Tony Stark even thought to equip his 15 year old protégé-cum-child soldier with an “Instant Kill Mode”. In a moment played for laughs in Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man rejects his on-board AI's attempt to activate this feature but seems untroubled that such an option exists and, indeed, come Avengers: Infinity War, he voluntarily deploys it. It’s not clear if Spidey actually does kill any of his alien adversaries, but it seems reasonable to assume that one doesn’t say “Activate Instant Kill Mode” without the intention of ending lives. Fans are expected to smile or applaud as Spider-Man says these words, recognising the call-back to Homecoming, rather than find it a gross misrepresentation of Marvel’s most beloved character or an alarming depiction of a children’s favourite.

The MCU Avengers as a whole are a US government “initiative “. The reluctant superheroes need to be cajoled into putting their differences aside for the greater good by army top brass Nick Fury. In a tweak from the source material, the ‘H' in Fury's organisation, SHIELD, stands for ‘Homeland’, making SHIELD as explicitly American venture as opposed to it being ostensibly intergovernmental in the comics.

There is a comic book precedent for this military take on Earth's Mightiest Heroes in the form of The Ultimates, a 2002 series by the British team of writer Mark Millar and artist Bryan Hitch. The Ultimates ,however, was satire. Millar was an unreformed lefty of the old school – someone who has boasted of voting Brexit for left-wing reasons, someone who once appeared on Russia Today as a guest of George Galloway. The Ultimates took swings at the gung ho jingoism of post 9/11 America. Captain America's “Surrender!!?? You think this letter on my head stands for France?“ is not supposed to be a badass one-liner, but rather a parody of the kind of things US media outlets were saying as Jacques Chirac proved less keen than Tony Blair to follow George Bush in bringing gunboat diplomacy to the Middle East. As Millar commentated at the time:

“The Ultimates is completely different because it's a character-driven piece and (something only a few people have noticed) my attempt as a left-wing writer to tell stories about an essentially right-wing concept and cast. It's very much the Anti-Authority, if you will. Captain America and so on are fully-paid members of the US military machine and this means a very different book and approach from a gang of slightly arrogrant, left-wing, superhuman utopians like The Authority ".

Wildstorm Comics' The Authority, which both Millar and Hitch worked on (although not together), was a precursor to Ultimates, featuring a team of similarly “any means necessary” heroes, albeit with a left-wing bent. The Ultimates does have something of The Authority’s utopian streak; Nick Fury and Tony Stark genuinely want to make the world a better place for everyone. It’s very idealistic – what if the head of the military and the biggest tech billionaire actually had the people’s best interests at heart? – and arguably closer to true superhero ethos (basically “with great power there must also come great responsibility “) than those characters more pragmatic MCU equivalents.

Yet, as Millar's one time writing partner Grant Morrison (who actually ghost-wrote at least one issue of The Authority under Miller’s name) observed in Morrison’s major nonfiction work, Supergods, the likes of The Authority, The Ultimates and, by extension, the MCU represent a “capitulation” to the view “that it was really only force and violence that got things done and not patient diplomacy, and that only soldiers and very rich people had the world figured out”. If the MCU is realistic, then it’s a sad indictment of the real world where the heroes are the ones with the best tech, the best guns and no compunction about using them.

Regardless of intent, The Ultimates left a door at Marvel’s “House of Ideas” just enough ajar to allow a malign notion to creep in: “These soldier superheroes are pretty cool. What If they were like that all the time? Wouldn’t they be more popular then”?

Certainly the navy SEAL aesthetic Bryan Hitch brought to the costumes (replacing the colourful tights and capes with pouches, straps and body armour) was soon adopted by superhero tv and film productions even pre-MCU. In fact, Hawkeye's journey from carny to commando mirrors the changes in superhero attire. Most famously, Superman's appearance with the red “overpants” derives from that of circus strongmen, but seeing any photography of early to mid 20th century carnival and circus performers makes it clear the early superhero creators had them in mind when they first put pencil to paper.

In an interview (found in Marvel Spotlight: Captain America, published in 2009) Hitch related how he showed an initial Ultimates drawing of Captain America with a machine gun to Grant Morrison, which Morrison then “described as the most obscene Captain America image [they’d] ever seen”. (NB: Morrison has since adopted gender neutral pronouns). Perhaps Morrison said this with glee, in on the joke with their friends, but in the years since, Cap with a gun became a common sight, even in family-friendly movies (where it was divorced from the irony of The Ultimates).

By a 2015 interview, Morrison lamented the fact that “the Avengers work for the government, and it's been like that since Mark [Millar] did The Ultimates” and said they were “bored with the idea that the best superheroes can represent is some aggressive version of the military. [...] They're supposed to be champions of the oppressed, they help ordinary people, they make things better for people. They don't prop up our grotesque, doddering culture of war and aggression”.

That same year Morrison introduced a new comic book superteam in the pages of The Multiversity. Pointedly the text likens this group, named “Justice Incarnate”, to a “cosmic neighbourhood watch” rather than any formal military or law-enforcement institution.

Millar himself reunited with his Authority collaborator Frank Quitely to create the comic Jupiter’s Legacy, which comes across in part as an apology for The Ultimates and all it begat. It concludes with the protagonists, Chloe Sampson and Eddie "Hutch" Hutchence taking up superhero mantles and promising not to make the moral compromises of their predecessors:

“No more bowing to authority and insitutions. No more deference to people in power”.

“There's a dignity in public service we mistook for old-fashioned, and a humility in having a secret identity, living among the people we protect.“

The Avengers, Marvel’s breakthrough billion dollar box office 2012 movie, by contrast, concludes with Iron Man dropping a nuclear bomb on the “Chitari”, an invading alien army and it seems likely this influenced Morrison’s comments on modern superhero stories.

In Supergods, Morrison

describes their childhood dread of nuclear weapons. The child of “ban the bomb” activists, the “gruesome hand-drawn images of how the world might look after a spirited thermonuclear missile exchange” which illustrated their parents anti-nuclear literature struck terror into the young Morrison. Therefore they seized upon superheroes as being an idea powerful enough to counteract – and overcome – the idea of the bomb.

“It’s not that I needed Superman to be “real,” I just needed him to be more real than the Idea of the Bomb that ravaged my dreams”.

Within the narrative of the movie, Iron Man takes the only option available to him to save New York. Destroying thousands of alien lives to save thousands of human ones. But The Avengers isn’t a documentary; the scriptwriters could have written a satisfying denouement which didn’t involve mass murder. They could at least have included some words of regret by the heroes over what it took to win, acknowledging that killing is not the ideal solution. Instead the Avengers trade banter and eat shawarma, collective conscious clear.

There is a moment in another Grant Morrison work, Final Crisis, which always brings the MCU to mind. In Final Crisis #3, drawn by JG Jones, (published in 2008, the same year the MCU began) “evil gods” from a higher plain of existence have been reincarnated on Earth. In order for the Justice League to counter this threat, a “draft for Superheroes” is implemented. Green Arrow (a Batman-a-like character who was subsequently reinvented to embody the countercultural sentiment of the late 1960s and has since served as the social conscious of the superhero set) responds to receiving his draft notice thusly:

“If anybody falls for this authoritarian, militaristic crap, it’ll prove I’m absolutely right about absolutely everything!... “

Cue the next page, where the drafted heroes have gathered en mass (including Green Arrow, impotently shaking his fist.)

Such an assemblage of characters in usually a triumphant moment in a summer "event" story, but here is framed as a sign that evil already has it’s hooks into reality. This world has fallen to the darkness and the superheroes who inhabit it are too morally compromised to realise it.

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