He/him lesbian discourse is stupid, and here’s why; bare with me this may be a bit bumpy of a ride but I promise I have a point
CONTENT WARNING: mentions of heavy topics such as bigotry and SA. if you’re not mentally up to it, just scroll. inane discourse is not worth your mental health.
Throughout my time existing in the queer community, I’ve noticed that there is always a group that’s ostracized for being too “different” from the rest of the pack, or are hard for others not in their situation to understand.
The worst part is it doesn’t just happen in the queer community, it seems to happen everywhere, in every space that humans inhabit and form groups in. you may have noticed, for example, that queer people are an outgroup to those who are cis/straight. It’s a line of people, each more niche than the one before them, all saying “You? You can’t be with us. You’re not one of us.” until we get to the end and we’re talking about problems on the fringes of the internet, like this very post.
Don’t get me wrong. There are some people who need to be ostracized to keep the peace as well as maintain safety in a space—Including, but not limited to: Nazis/fascists, racists, homophobes, pedos/zoos, etc. specifically when they are actively causing harm to others (remember rehabilitation though, if someone has grown out of a previous pattern of behavior that aligns with something that caused harm, I don’t think they should be permanently barred from our communities). At the end of the day, there’s always going to be people like this who are hateful, and I believe it’s important to keep in mind that relationships are complicated too. Some people will tolerate certain harmful behaviors because of circumstances like jobs or familial relations, and some would immediately cut them off. I think it’s all down to your preferences. It’s your life, after all.
My issue with this Ostracization comes in when it’s done to those who are not causing harm. I’ll start big picture here. I’m thinking first and foremost of the historical rift between women and men. I’m no expert on ancient bigotries, but if I had to guess I would expect misogyny to be an older one. I can hear it now. “They’re meek and they’re biologically engineered to be weaker than us!” Are they causing any harm? Is there any real reason to treat them worse than men? Next I think of racism, which is inconceivably annoying. “Oh no, their skin is a different color! They have different customs than I do!”boo hoo.
Of course next we can look at queer history. First, straight people push out gays. Because they can’t have biological children? Because they’re threatening masculinity? Whatever. Then, in spite of black trans women like Marsha P. Johnson leading the Stonewall Riots, cis queers ostracize trans people to make themselves more palatable (despite the fact that when given the chance, bigots would be fine with all of us wiped off the face of the earth). And when trans people become a bit more widely known and accepted (relatively so)? Soon, gender-non-conforming trans ppl like non-binary, agender, and genderfluid people are the next target, forming the trans-medicalist debate while trans people in general are still struggling to fight the narrative that they would assault people in the bathrooms of their aligning gender.
So we’ve finally caught up. In many modern queer communities, gnc trans people are accepted as just another part of the alphabet mafia. But there must be another sacrifice. Neopronouns and He/him lesbians. Years of oppression, and we still can’t seem to break the cycle. To those who have issues with people who use these labels, I ask you sincerely. Why?
If you are a lesbian, no one is forcing you to date someone who identifies as a lesbian while also being “male-aligned” in some way. The same way no one is obligating cis people to date trans people just because they’re an ally or whatever. Please consider; are these people you so despise and call lesbiophobic truly doing any harm other than existing? I thought that the trans community was all about breaking gender norms and being your truest self. Is excluding lesbians who are masculine or use he/him not enforcing the whole “blue= boy” shit all over again? Yes, “he/him” is most often used for men or masculine people, but just like gender roles and gender itself, it’s just a concept we humans made up. With time, everything shifts, changes, and grows.
Let us grow together. Let us feel the magic of queer joy together. Even if you don’t entirely understand it, live and let live.
Realistically I know that gatekeeping and discourse like this will never end, but even if one more person reflects and tries to be more inclusive, more thoughtful, more empathetic, I will be happy. If you got this far ily, take care of yourself and live your best life.
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Love Loves to Love Love
Love is Everything
Love is Life
Love is the essence of Life
Love is Me
Love is You
Love is our Unity
Love is the best version of You
Love is most influential
Love is our greatest strength
Love is the best of people's times
Love is You
Love is Me
Love is the concrete ingredient of life
Love is our life purpose
Love is an essential part of our life
Love is momentous to our mission
Love provides us with grace and courage
Love is our fortress in life's greatest challenges
Love is the essence of the human presence
Love Loves to Love
Love is you
Love is me
Love is All-Things-Good
Love Loves to Love Love
❤️
❤️Love Loves To Love Kokobot🥰
🥰Life is loving ourselves and loving others😘
~ @kari-kreations4u
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[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled "immortality” after the poem by clare harner (more popularly known as “do not stand at my grave and weep”). the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]
a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”
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Reminder that the US bombed Iraq a day ago. Reminder that this attack has killed 16 Iraqis, many of whom were civilians. Reminder that Iraq has already suffered enough at the hands of US imperialism, that to this day it’s recovering from the aftermath of being defamed to the world as terrorists, from its cities being destroyed under the guise of “exterminating ISIS” (an echo of Israel decimating Palestine to “exterminate Hamas,” interesting), that the US has so many ulterior motives to continue encroaching upon Iraq that have nothing to do with their seemingly noble rationale, and that it does all this while funding Israel’s ongoing genocide of Palestinians (which are basically doing their dirty work of pushing further in on Arab territory). It’s jarring that this is all happening on a world stage & yet nothing is being done to stop it. Hands off Iraq. Free Palestine. Hands off Iraq. Free Palestine.
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So usually when an imaginary friend is a real thing in a story, it’s either a demon or a ghost or some supernatural boogeyman that probably wants to eat the kid they’ve befriended (Mama, a couple of the Paranormal Activity movies), or “imaginary friends” are just treated as a real thing in the setting, and if a child just thinks hard enough they can manifest a friend into existence (Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Happy).
And somewhere in the middle is an area where the imaginary friend in question is real and they are supernatural, but they aren’t malevolent, and they aren’t entirely honest about what they are. Like maybe they’re a fairy or a god or some kind of boggle from mythology, but they just got caught by a six year old and they don’t have time to get into it, so they just go “…Yes. I’m your imaginary friend. We haven’t met. How do you do.” And then they stick around because they do love this kid, and if you’re a boggle from mythology in the modern day good food is really hard to come by.
And at some level. That’s what I think Hobbes is.
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