Incorrect Quotes - Part 2
All of these were taken from Pinterest - again, I am not this funny
Special thank you to @sinfully-yoursss for asking for another one!
Max: Do you ever do anything except whine like a little bitch?
Y/n: Sometimes I whine like a BIG bitch
Arthur (propping his feet up on a table): So, I heard you like bad boys
Y/n: What? No???
Arthur (immediately taking his feet off the table): Oh thank God, that felt terrible
Christian: Where’s Y/n and the child?
Toto: Y/n is teaching him how to drive
Christian: Y/n never learned to drive??????
*Meanwhile*
Y/n: So there’s two pedals. Sometimes three but you can ignore the left one
Kimi: I don’t think….
Y/n: the lines on the road are more like suggestions than anything, like the speed limit
Kimi: Are you positive that…
Y/n: I’m not sure how to turn on the blinkers. Ready?
Kimi: Uhhhhh
Y/n (shouting): GO GO GO GO
Kimi (screaming) *floors it*
Nurse: I’m sorry sir, we can only allow family to see Miss L/n at this time
Christian: bold of you to assume I won’t legally adopt her right now
Y/n (sleepy, inside the hospital wing): you tell ‘em dad!
Max: Your honor, my client is ready
Judge: And what does the defendant plead?
Max (mouthing the words): not guilty
Y/n (squinting at Max): hot milky
Max (facepalms): take her away
Y/n: Deck the halls with crippling depression
Charles: Fa la la la la, la la la la
Y/n: ‘Tis the season for emotional suppression
Arthur: Fa la la la la, la la la la
Max (passing through): what???
Y/n (on the phone): Hey Lance, can Arthur and I borrow $5000?
Lance: Why the hell do you need $5000?!
Y/n: For an escape room.
Lance: What kind of escape room costs 5 grand??
Y/n:
Y/n: Jail.
Max (answers phone): hello?
Y/n: It’s Y/n
Max: What did she do this time
Y/n: no, it’s me, Max
Max: what did you do this time
Y/n (on the floor): Go on…without me!
Lando (crying while kneeling beside her): No! We can get through this together, just like we always do!
Y/n: There’s no time! You must defend our honor. Don’t let my death be for nothing!
Lando (sobbing): I can’t do this without you!
Y/n: Goodbye, old friend….(goes limp)
Oscar (whispering to Max): They do realize this is just a dodgeball game, right?
Max (aiming at Lando): Oscar, this is war. Show no mercy.
Oscar: One day, someone will think about you for the last time in eternity. You will be forgotten by the world
Y/n: not if I eat the Mona Lisa
Yuki: I’m small but knowing
Y/n: You don’t be knowing what the top shelf looks like
Yuki:
Y/n:
Yuki: Bitch
Y/n: Go big or go home!
Vito (tears in his eyes): I am begging you, Y/n. For once in your life, go home. Just this once. Go. Home.
Y/n: I’m gonna go big
Y/n: I will do a lot of thing. But admitting I’m cold to Max after he told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them
Max: I sleep with a knife beside my bed
Carlos: I have a machete under my bed
Logan: I have a gun under my pillow
Arthur: Weak. Pathetic. All of you
Max: And what deadly weapon do you sleep with?
Arthur (putting on shades): Y/n
Arthur: I will speak French between your legs
Y/n: That is the hottest thing I’ve ever been told
Lando: I’m just imagining someone screaming “Bonjour” to a dick
Daniel: SACRE BLEAU MADEMOISELLE HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS
Logan (wheezing): TITTY CROISANTS
Max: None of you should ever be having sex
Y/n: Hey do you know anyone who can teach me how to play the trumpet?
Alex: Why?
Y/n: I wanna wander around the paddock and annoy Esteban
Logan: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play it for that
Y/n: You have opened my eyes Logan
Max (not looking up from his book): what did he do now?
Y/n: HE SMILED
Max: At you?
Y/n: No, at Oscar and Ollie but HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL
Max: go away
Y/n: shut up, I watched you pine over Charles for months – let me have this
Max: carry on
Arthur: I came up with a brilliant idea for a prank
Y/n: Ooh, what is it?
Arthur: We should kiss.
Y/n: …I don’t get it
Arthur: Think about it! Imagine Max and Charles come into the garage, only to find us making out, hands all over each other. You can sit in my lap and we’ll really just go to town. Max will be like “WHAAAAAAA” and Charles might even faint!
Y/n: Oh, that’s hilarious! We totally should
Esteban: The math problem isn’t so hard, it’s just a simple repetition of-
Y/n (frustrated): You’re a simple repetition
Esteban:
Y/n:
Charles: Did Y/n really just hurt Esteban’s feelings
Max: I’m so freakin proud
Y/n (googling): snake bite leg what to do
Google: elevate and apply pressure
Y/n (lifting the snake really high): apologize or else
Y/n: with all due respect
Y/n:
Y/n: which is none
Toto: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Kimi: Maybe a little tipsy?
George: Drunk.
Y/n: Wasted.
Lewis: Dead.
Esteban: Could you at least try to be nice?
Y/n: You’re still breathing. That’s me being nice.
Oscar: Hey do you have a bag I can borrow?
Zhou: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence
Oscar: Literally all you had to do was say no
Max (at Y/n’s funeral): Can I have a moment alone with her?
Arthur: Of course *leaves*
Max (leaning over the coffin): Now listen, I know you’re not dead
Y/n: no duh
Y/n: Ow!
Oscar: You dislocated your shoulder. Want me to pop it back in?
Y/n (grimacing): Yeah…okay
Oscar: All right, on 3….0, 1 *pops shoulder back in*
Y/n: MOTHERFU- WHO THE HELL STARTS AT 0
Yuki: Hey Y/n, did you eat all the powdered donuts?
Y/n: …No?
Yuki: Then what’s that white powder on your pants
Y/n (panicking): cocaine
Y/n: Max, I think you should play the role of my father
Max: I don’t want to be your father
Y/n: That’s perfect. You already know your lines
Lando: Can I be frank with you guys?
Y/n: I don’t know how changing your name is going to help us here, but sure?
Charles: Wait, can I still be Charles?
Oscar: Shh, let Frank speak.
Lewis: I have a bad feeling about this.
Y/n: What do you mean?
Lewis: Don’t you ever have that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?
Y/n: no
Lewis: That explains so much
Y/n: What do you call a fish with no eye (i)?
Oscar (not looking up from his book): myxine circifrons
Y/n:
Y/n: fsh
George: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Y/n: Figuratively or literally?
George: Y/n, honestly, the fact that I have to specify
Mitch: I know you took the last Red Bull Y/n
Y/n (internally): play dumb
Y/n: Who’s Y/n?
Y/n (internally): not that dumb!
Y/n: Big mood
Fernando: What does that mean…big mood?
Y/n: Uh well, it kind of means like, me too, I guess
Fernando: Thanks
*1 week later before a race in the rain*
Oscar: I’m kind of worried about this race guys
Fernando: Big mood, Piastri, big mood
Oscar: Y/n what did you do?
Charles: What’s worse than a DNF at a home race?
Y/n: realizing that dragons can’t blow out their birthday candles
Charles:
Charles: mate
Y/n: You know what? Underneath it all, you’re actually quite nice
Max: Repeat that disgusting slander and you’ll be hearing from my lawyers
Carlos: Now that I have explained the answer to this problem to you for ten minutes, do you understand?
Y/n: Yes.
Carlos:…Are you lying to me?
Y/n: Yes.
Christian: Y/n, it’s your turn to give the pre-race talk
Y/n (claps hands): Fuck shit up, hit some barriers, run Charles off the road, don’t die
Max (proudly): succinct and informative
Max: The FIA really seems to hate us
Charles: Maybe they’re homophobic
Max: We’re not a couple Charles
Charles: We’re not
Y/n: You’re not?
Vito: Why is Y/n in the bathroom on the floor crying?
Max: She’s drunk
Vito: And?
Mitch: She heard that Arthur has a girlfriend
Vito:…but she is Arthur’s girlfriend
Max: Yeah, we know that
Max (wears lighter skinny jeans and a brighter blue Red Bull polo)
Y/n: I see you’re busting out the spring colors
Oscar: How do you two normally get out of these types of messes?
Lando: We don’t.
Y/n: We just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one
*Valentines Day*
Arthur (reading Y/n’s texts): Y/n just said she’s going to give me 102 minutes of pleasure tonight
Max: Oh wow
*Later watching Cars 2*
Y/n: You look disappointed
Y/n: Chillax!
Oscar: that’s not a word
Y/n: Sometimes the ones who deny “chillax” are the ones who need to chillax the most
Y/n: You know, water is pretty crazy. It can boil you to death, freeze you to death, drown you, or spin your car out of control, throw you into the barriers and kill you. But you still need it to survive
Max: Y/n, I love you, but its 3 AM
Christian: Y/n, a word.
Y/n: BALLOON
Max: I have the sharpest memory! Name one time I forgot something
Y/n: You left Charles in a Walmart like three weeks ago
Max: I did that on purpose, try again
Vito: Y/n isn’t answering her phone
Arthur: I’ll call
Vito: Max and I have both tried, along with everyone else on the grid. What make you think she’ll answer?
*Calls her anyway*
Y/n: Hello?
Y/n: Oi, where’s your boyfriend?
Max: Who?
Y/n: Charles, where is he?
Max: He’s not my boyfriend
Y/n: Have you told him that?
Fan: Max, what motivates you?
Max: My ambition and desire to push forward no matter what
Fan: Y/n, what about you?
Y/n: An unhealthy mix of spite, pettiness, the thirst for vengeance, and pure, relentless rage. That and a Red Bull in the morning
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @fly-me-away @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @33-81 @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19 @lizzypiastri
886 notes
·
View notes
bffs with the rookies- incorrect quotes 1!
Just a lil sum sum to show more abt the relationships in the AU
Y/N: A stake to the heart won't kill a vampire if their tits are big enough.
Oscar: Yeah, you just catch it.
Logan: Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.
Arthur: Then I just use a spear instead.
Y/N: You are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas, and for what? Why would you do that to the ecosystem?
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Oscar: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Logan: Merry crisis.
Arthur: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Y/N: Hoe hoe hoe.
Oscar: Guys, please.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Oscar: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Logan?
Logan: Arthur, easily.
Arthur, laughing: What the fuck, man.
Logan: Well, Y/N would be too easy. She’d probably be into it.
Y/N, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Logan: How do I ask someone out?
Y/N: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two.
Logan: No!
Arthur: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car.
Logan: Stop!
Oscar: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream.
Logan: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Y/N: Fight me!
Arthur: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?
*Later*
Logan: Why is Arthur crying?
Oscar: Y/N kicked him really hard on the ankle.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Y/N, to Oscar: When was the last time you let someone hug you?
Oscar: *thinking*
Oscar: 2012.
Arthur: 2012…?
Oscar: Yeah. I almost died and it really freaked Logan out so I let him hug me.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Lando: You know what?
Lando: When I joined this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.
*Y/N, Arthur and Oscar continue screaming about mold water*
Lando:Not the other way around.
Logan: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Lando: Mice are having sex in my walls.
Arthur: Tattletale!
Logan: You're just being ungrateful.
Y/N: It's their home too, you know.
Oscar: So what? Don't slutshame them.
Lando: The mice are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Oscar: Team A will consist of myself, Arthur, Lando, and Logan.
Oscar: Team B will consist of Y/N, cause she scares me.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
How Lando and Y/n became friends:
Logan: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-
Logan, to Arthur: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.
Y/N, to Lando: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.
Oscar: There are two types of people.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Charles: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.
Arthur: *Incoherent mumbling*
Charles: Huh?
Y/n: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Charles (brainstorming ideas for pranking Max): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost?
Y/n: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful.
Charles: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that?
Y/n: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Charles.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Y/n: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!
Arthur, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.
Y/n, deadpanning at Arthur Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Arthur, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Charles: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
Arthur: Ohhhh-
Y/n: Both of you get out of this kitchen.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Logan: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?
Y/n For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!
Logan: Mean.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
Y/n: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Oscar: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Charles: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Logan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Arthur: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Max:
Max: I have emotional scars.
━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━
When Max and Charles got spam called by Y/n and the group after their party:
Max: I CAN'T DO IT!
Charles, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Max: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Lando: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Max:
Max: I appreciate it,
Max: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Charles: Max-
Max: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Lando: Max we gotta-
Max: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Max: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Max, motioning to Y/n, Oscar, Arthur and Logan: NOT FUCKING THIS
492 notes
·
View notes