Sometimes you are a passing thought that will never be a poem, the silence in a crowded room, the loneliness on the ceiling at midnight, the face on a song , the teeth on a song, a sty in my wet eye, a knife through the femur, the blood on my tongue, the desire on empty palms and sometimes I am.
I always thought loving people more than they love you it's weakness. But then I realised it's not. The fact I keep loving and falling in love over and over again means I'm strong enough to take it all into my heart and choose happiness over sorrow.
Sometimes I oddly surprise myself, how a storm walks in and aims to destroy everything but before it does, it waits for my permission. And somedays I give in, but most days I ask it to step back and it does. That's the kind of power we hold, there's never a storm that walks in unannounced, there's always a whisper, always a sign. And I am surprised at how my heart is still learning to grow flowers at places that don't wish to see the sunshine anymore. And how love still sits on my fingertips, confused whether it's ready to let go? And I can't keep mine, but my heart settles down deeper when I watch someone else lose hope. And a heartbreak is still bearable, we can all survive it, but leaving hope at the door and walking in lifeless is what scares me, the empty eyes of the people I love is what terrifies me. And sometimes I am courageous enough to hold my own pain, we all are, but I can't see the same emptiness in someone else's eyes. Sometimes I surprise myself on how distant I have grown from my own stories that my emotions don't shake me anymore but yours would make me tremble. You see, hearts are like that, they'll bear it all in the name of love, but they also can't bear a slightest shift in the name of love.
No me dejes ir, si es que para ti esa vida que dejamos tuvo algún significado. No dejes que el olvido me borre de la geografía de tu memoria,no dejes que los mapas que te dirigen a mi nombre se pierdan, que ya nunca más algún objeto te devuelva mi nombre, aunque sea por casualidad. No me dejes ir por favor porque a estas alturas esa es la única esperanza que me queda, el saber que vivo en la mente de alguien que ame con todas mis fuerzas,hasta llegar a despojarme de todas ellas. Encuentrame entres tus sueños y deja que te invite a juntarnos las manos y la vida, la boca y los besos, como antaño, cuando creíamos que todo esto iba a durar para siempre.
Hoy, débil como siempre he sido, la única paz que anhelo es esa de caer inerte sobre tu recuerdo, que me entierres ahí adentro, y me guardes, quizás no como aquellas personas que llena de felicidad todos tus paisajes, sino como aquel cadáver de aquel que intento cambiar nuestras vidas,aquel cadáver que te suplica que lo vuelvas amar , aunque haya perdido tu amor en el intento.