#love validation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mindshelter · 2 years

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maybe it's just because i find drama entertaining but part of me is enjoying how deeply angry my other project members are that our fourth member has barely contributed/communicated to the point of making a separate groupchat without them. and private messaging me "delete the copy of your notes from the other groupchat. don't help them."

i'm disappointed in them too but. gjdksk it's been three weeks, there is already so much loathing and sometimes it's nice to sit back and watch someone be such a hater

#this is a senior class btw lmaooo we're all 21-22 #the projects require a LOT of work and research so i understand their anger but if it gets worse we have the course coordinator to talk to #and we're meant to evaluate each other in the end #side note. we met up with the TA today and he said my proposal was solid we're going with my idea ❤️❤️#love validation #beepost

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chandajaan · 1 year

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Anyway I made lemon bars yesterday (at like 10 pm) and made sure to give some to one of the farmers my husband works with as a thank you and he said he loved them, so I've just been in a good mood!

#hehe haha #love validation #chandatalks #food

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chloesimaginationthings · 4 months

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I always forget Michael is British in the FNAF games,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #mike schmidt #fnaf #sister location #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #this is their first meet btw #totally canon I promise #I love you Michael Afton even if you’re British #the only valid British person

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sga-owns-my-soul · 7 months

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reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head

#i can't reblog this from everyone so this is just me giving all my mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head #if u see this #*muah*#soft lil kissy on the head #and if u don't want one u can have a head pat #or i can lovingly send soft lovey vibes your way #all options are valid #idk i just #need to spread some love today #i'm tired and sad and stressed #so i'm giving u all some love #bc i need to fill myself with more of it #love u all hope u have/are having a good day #mutuals #not stargate

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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cassandragemini · 16 days

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its so crazy that for the last 5 years a small but annoyingly vocal online group has been acting like mob movies of all things are pretentious and inaccessible cinema. yeah the godfather is kinda slow but these are movies about criminals who shoot people

#that family guy bit is right it does insist upon itself but it has a valid point to insist etc etc #crow.txt #side note if you do wanna watch a good mob flick and the godfather was a bit too slow for you please watch goodfellas #its one of my favorite films of all time i love it so much #while i do like the godfather and i recognize how important it was for film history i like goodfellas a bit more

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slfcare · 1 year

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The positives of ‘putting yourself out there’ are worth it. Having a great conversation with a stranger will be worth the awkwardness of starting that exact conversation. Joining a small community of people you will see regularly is worth having to get through a scary first day. Getting your dream job is worth the scariness of chasing it. Don’t pick and choose experiences based on the level of ease now, but choose them based on how you want to come out of them.

#the healing (starts here)#growth in the self #comfort kindness family #self care #self love #positivity #positive #positive suggestions #positive thinking #suggestions #suggestion #self validation #mental health #learning to be a social being

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starberry-skies · 2 years

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i post for PACEY PUFFERFISH AND PACEY PUFFERFISH ONLY BAYBEEEE

i also post for for alexis anglerfish, delano dorado fish, gracie grouper fish, and lois lionfish.

y'all take care of urselves, stay weird and stay kind, goodnight everypony.

#edit: oh and also by reblogging this you agree that mspec veldians/lesbians are real and valid :^)#oh btw loves i would recommend Answer in Progress' video 'why you stopped reading' if you haven't already seen it !#in case u did actually want to start reading again yk?#oh btw prns are he/it. i'd appreciate u using that instead of theythem but like. idc #chirping #..... long sigh....#famous era #100 #edited this on aug 14th 2023- removed tags as well

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anthonygaycrowley · 4 months

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did y'all know that donna's husband in forest of the dead was meant to be a trans man, and they just couldn't find a way to make it explicit in-text

donna noble manages to get herself a trans family in every version of reality huh

#and also it makes me rly happy to think of one of my favourite characters falling in love w a trans man :)#like i adore her and rose's accepting parent/child relationship ofc #but theres also a different kinda validation in seeing 'this trans character is loved romantically'#doctor who #dr who #donna noble #tenth doctor #rtd #moffat #mine

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nothing-an-iratze-cant-fix · 11 months

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I’m curious - people always seem surprised that multiple siblings are queer, as if it’s amazing the gay lightning struck twice so close together.

But human variation is down to our genes and external factors. Siblings are logically more likely to both/all be queer than not.

So a wee poll if you don’t mind!

Anyone can take part, there should be an option for anyone but please let me know in notes if I missed anyone.

For reference: queer is anyone who wouldn’t describe themselves as heterosexual or cis-gendered or allo-sexual. Anyone we would include in the queer group. And if you’re not including people by their own identification, we can have words after…

Notes:

If you only have one sibling use the relevant all option.

If you have an issue with the word queer I truly don’t want to hear about it - that’s your choice, this is mine.

Reblog if you fancy! If you don’t then no worries, but if you can it would be nice to get a lot of replies!

And hey everyone, happy Pride!

#queer stuff #lgbtq+#queer #polls #asexual #and #aromantic #people - I want to hear from you too! You are valid and queer if you id as queer #if you don’t know about your identity or you don’t know about your siblings identity - first off; sending you love.#second; if you want to take part just put what you think is most likely or your most comfortable putting #❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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queerism1969 · 1 month

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libraalynn · 1 year

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joytri · 9 months

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In the end, it's the memories you make

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honeypleasejustkillme · 2 years

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suicidal people deserve a space to talk about their suicidal feelings without risking hospitalization/institutionalization or being accused of being manipulative or attention seeking