Setting: the academy are sixteen-ish and are on a school trip to a different country.
Allison: *listening to Land Down Under*
Klaus: *bursts into room from window* HE JUST SMILED AND GAVE ME A VEGEMITE SANDWICH.
Dave and Klaus: AND HE SAID, I COME FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER. *pulling beers out of their pockets for everyone in the room* WHERE BEER DOES FLOW AND MEN CHUNDER.
Five: *to Allison* why were we roomed with these knobs?
Vanya: How did you get beer? None of us are old enough to drink?
Luther: How the fuck did you produce them from your pockets?
Diego: how the fuck does klaus do anything?
Luther is like the Ross of Umbrella Academy
My 11 year old sister
Tumblr put a limit on how many tags I could use to express my appreciation for Luther Hargreeves.
Apparently 30 tags is the limit. Count the tags for this post.
I can’t express all my love for Luther.. the gentle giant, good bro, misunderstood and underappreciated LUTHER HARGREEVES with just 30 tags!!!!
This is TOM HOPPER for crying out loud!!!
Right now everyone is standing outside in the rain because Klaus accidentally set the kitchen on fire trying to make toast.
some of you out here vilifying the hargreeves you dont like bc you dont actually want to write complicated characters with complex motivations, i see you
Me: I love all the Hargreaves siblings the same. There’s Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, Ben, Vanya, and…
Me: *looks at perfectly clear writing on hand*
Me: A dickhead
Please think of Luther singing Stars from Les Mis.
The Umbrella Academy As People In My Lit Class When There Was A Wasp
Luther: The sub with a chair and a meter stick moving around the front of the room trying to knock him down
Diego: One of the kids sitting at the desks in the back corner, armed with a pencil
Allison: The kid at the door volunteering to go get maintenance or something but also making it clear they will not be coming back until the wasp is gone
Klaus: The other kid at the back corner desks, armed with nothing, but claiming this is too traumatizing and we have to give up for the day
Five: The one staying at their desks doing their work in the middle of the room, near the wasp, because, “If I get stung, I get stung”
Ben: The one moving their work and themselves to the back table and calling out encouragement to the sub
Vanya: The one hiding in the back of the room between the bookshelf and the computer cart, clearly not wanting to be stung and wanting it out of the room, but asking the sub not to kill the wasp
Reginald: Our teacher, who didn’t show up and abandoned us to our fate
I had trouble placing the first four so if you disagree, feel free to debate!
since Spotify decided CYBERBULLY me, send me a character and I will give a song from my top 100 playlist of any of three past years (2017, 2018, 2019)
Five: I’m going to go kill these people cause it might stop the apocalypse
Does anyone like have suggestion because it’s getting real hard to post something original on here.
- At first they’re all going to spend Christmas apart, Diego, Luther and Five forgetting about it entirely
- Ben tried to get everyone together but in the end it’s Vanya who manages it with the help of Allison
- Vanya mentions to Allison how much she’s always wanted a family Christmas (the snowy, Christmas card type) because it seemed to represent everything that Hargreeves stopped her from having
- Luther and Diego are easily persuaded (Diegos not exactly enthusiastic, but willing, Luther’s always keen to get the academy back together)
- Diego tracks down Klaus on the streets, and Klaus agrees to come, insisting it’s only for the free food
- Five refuses, because they’re “too old for Christmas” and it’s an overcomercialised holiday. Weirdly though he changes his mind the next day, saying Delores had been telling him off all day.
- Anyways, because they’re all failed adults ™ and ain’t got any money they agree to do a secret Santa
- Diego gets Luther and buys him a book about the moon… but it’s a kids picture book. Still, Diego insists “the shop assistant said that was the NASA one, is it not the NASA one?”
- Luther gets Vanya some classical sheet music and loads of sour candy. She eats one and sobs, and gives the rest to Klaus. She could’ve played the music when she was 13 but insists that she loves it, because he felt bad about the candy.
- Vanya gets five and buys him a gift card for griddys bc the only thing she can think of that he likes is coffee
- Five gets Klaus and when he asks what he wants (gasp five it sEcREt Santa) klaus just says drugs. Five gives him a baggie of crushed vitamin c tablets and watches as Klaus proceeds to snort it, thinking its cocaine ( we’ve got to get you healthy one way or another, right? )
- Klaus gets Ben (who btw had a NEAR death experience when he was about 17 but is COMPLETELY ALIVE) and buys him a novelty waffles t-shirt. Ben pretends he’s hates it, but wears nothing else for weeks.
- Ben gets Allison and buys her some fancy chocolates, because, unlike the rest of them, Allison gives out “An Adult Who Has Their Shit Together” Vibes ™
- Allison gets Diego and buys him an “I love my mama” shirt. He has never and will never worn it.
- Because as previously mentioned, they’re broke so they order Chinese take out and pizza and have the most random Christmas lunch ever.
- A group of carol singers come round after lunch, and are TRYING to sing, but klaus (who answered the door) won’t stop hitting on one of them. Eventually he gets his number and name (Dave)
- That’s it I guess but feel free to add
The Umbrella Academy as Reductress Titles (part 2)
@stans y'all kno that crosstagging character and anti tags exists for your benefit right? Like back before you could block ppl you could block tags and crosstagging allowed for a post to still be in the main tag but outta ur line of sight.
Very tired of some of y'all acting like ur an oppressed ppl cuz you can’t be bothered to just block a tag (fyi u can even block shit on mobile now so idk what the fuckin excuse is???)