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imwetforyourmom · 10 hours

Note

fic based off numb to the feeling chase Atlantic?!

numb to the feeling

summary: matt hasnt been feeling many things lately. feeling numb. he desperately wants to feel something.. anything.

warnings: numbness feeling mentioned (?), marijuana, smut, dick riding, rough sex, switch!matt, creampie, unprotected sex (dont be silly, get on the pill)

a/n: IM BACK FROM MY BREAKKK

(if you dont like how I’ve written it or want it in a different way do not hesitate to ask me to re write it!!)

not proofread

matt hasnt felt like himself in days—weeks. he hasnt felt anything, happiness, anger, or even anxiety.

hes felt numb. and god does he hate it. he wants to feel something, he needs to feel something. so, hes turned to drugs, weed. but nothing further than that, sure he wants to feel something but he doesnt want to go too far. I mean, who would?

even when his girlfriend comes over with an overbearing grin on her face he cant find it in himself to match her energy. he cant find the him in himself to bring a smile to his lips, to bring the sounds of pure laughter from his body.

so here he finds himself, sitting outside on his porch, smoking a blunt. he sits deep in the chair, his back leant far into it, his legs manspread and his fingers spread with a j between his pointer and middle.

the strong scent lingers in the air, the sweet yet so musky smell so familiar to matt, its like a comforting thing. like a blanket on his shoulders, warming him in a cold storm. where its the only thing he can go to, after finding himself alone and in crave of something, anything.

the weed makes him feel things, it comforts him. its the only thing that can make him feel things, hes found it and deemed it his safe space. or his go-to.

he brings the blunt to his lips, inhaling the drug, letting it pass through his throat and into his lungs, holding it there before slowly exhaling it out his nose. then pulling the blunt from between his lips. the inhale of the blunt already coursing through his veins, and was he in for it. the effects of the weed were slow and sure to make their mark soon.. just not now. as this had only been the first ten or so minutes of his session.

he rests his forearm on the arm of the chair, leaning his head back and closing his eyes momentarily. letting everything sink in. the tingling sensation of the weed overtaking his senses, the cold, refreshing breath of air going through his nose becoming all that he could physically feel, the bitterness of the cold air fanning against his skin, the warmth of the blunt between his fingers reminding him this is all real, that he isnt dreaming of this phenomenal feeling, a feeling he could feel.

he opens his eyes once again, letting the blurriness of his eyes adjusting to the newfound light disappear as he takes in his surrounding. the trees lightly swaying along with the wind. the sky a white-ish grey, as if it was questioning what it wanted to be, alone. there were no clouds and no sun present. it was a blank white-ish grey. no color to it. just a plain white with a slight darker tone to it.

he brought his hand close to his mouth again, placing the blunt between his pink lips, freshly coated with a thin layer of saliva, before taking in another long, drawn out inhale. the drug filling his lungs and exploring his system, inviting itself in and affecting all that it could, sending matt into a delusion. he moved his hand away and rested it on the arm rest again.

holding his breath he admired how the drug felt inside him, how the drug felt overtaking what he could differ between what was what, and what was not. how the drug was slowly becoming the only thing he could focus on, and how good it fucking felt.

the drug was giving him things he couldnt do alone, it was giving him the ability to feel things, to feel himself. and god, how addicting it was.

he couldnt fucking be happier, its all he wanted and all he desired. finally, finally feeling things, even if it wasnt much he was still in touch with his emotions, he could feel the fire in his stomach, he could feel the thumping of his heart against his ribcage.

he couldnt get enough of it, he brough the joint back up to his lips, taking a greedy, long inhale from it, then pulling it away. holding the inhale in his lungs for longer than he usually does, as if it would make the drug affect him more than it already does. he exhaled, the smoke coming from the tight ‘o’ shape in his lips and going into the air.

he pulled the joint away and rested his arm on the armrest again, finding himself enjoying his current state, the feeling being euphoric.

• • •

here matt found himself, again on his front porch, blunt in hand.

this time, it wasnt as good as it was before. of course the drugs were hitting him.. it just wasnt as euphoric or as joyful as it was before. he wasnt as happy, he wasnt as carefree. he couldnt understand why, he was smoking the same weed, he was in the same area but he wasnt feeling the same.

“fuck.” he mumbled, he placed the joint on the ash tray next to him, feeling angered he let out a huff of air. he glanced around the landscape infront of him, deciding on what he was supposed to do now. he couldnt rely on the weed and thats all he could rely on.

his hand found its way to his mouth and subconciously began chewing on his fingernails, what the fuck was he gonna do now?

he grabbed his phone and pressed his girlfriends contact, needing anything, something. and he knew he could always go to her, and without a question she’d be there for him, doesnt matter whats going on she was always there for him.

the ringing sound of his phone only reminded him of the situation his was in. numb and in desire of something he didnt know what it was.

“hi baby!” her joyful voice rang through the phone and into his ear, immediately relaxing his nerves somewhat. he let out a small sigh of relief before saying what he needed to say.

“hi, can you come over, please?” he asked, his voice evidently panicked and breathy.

“of course, whats wrong?” she replied, you could hear the rustling of movement from her side of the phone, signaling she was already on her way.

“i need you,” he spoke, getting straight to the point with his desires. he was desperate for her, for feeling her.

“okay, okay, ill be there in five, my love, hang tight for me, k?” her assuring voice relaxed matt more than she’d already done before and he couldnt be more grateful, she’d been calming him effortlessly without even knowing it.

“okay, love you bye” he hung up, setting his phone down and waiting for her, patiently. if you could even call it that. kid was chewing his fingernails and looking all around the road ahead of him, searching for signs of y/ns arrival.

• • •

the sound of rocks being run over makes matt look up, his gaze softening when he sees the silhouette of his girlfriend leaving her car, her hips swaying perfectly as she walked towards him. truth be told, he was already hard just seeing her. the tight cropped shirt she wore definitely did not help either.

she walked to his porch and stopped infront of him, the smell of weed filling her nose, proving matt was most likely high. “you said you needed me, baby? how so?” she asked, looking down at his figure propped up on the chair, looking up at her with glossed over eyes.

“need your body” he muttered, his hands coming to her hips and squeezing. his voice filled with need as he let his eyes take in how pretty she looked.

“yeah?” y/n placed her hand in his hair and lightly tugged it, running her long nails along his scalp gently, sending shivers down matts spine. he leaned his forehead onto her stomach, acting more desperate and needy than he already was.

“need you so so bad” he stood up abruptly and grabbed her by her arm, pulling her inside his house and locking the door behind them before walking up to his room.

y/n giggled as matt took a seat on the edge of his bed, then patted his thigh, inviting y/n to sit on his lap.

y/n did as he silently asked, taking a seat on his lap and almost immediately moving her hips on him in slight yet hard grinds. earning a grunt from matt and his hands finding home on her hips, pushing and pulling her on his lap more.

matts face met with y/ns, connecting their lips in a slow, open-mouthed kiss yet filled with unspoken passion.

as y/n felt matts dick grow under her she began trailing her kisses down his jaw and neck, kissing, sucking and leaving dark purple marks all over the side of his neck, only arousing him further.

matt pulled her away from his neck and stopped her hips, mumbling a quick “need to be inside you, so bad” as he pulled her shorts off and lightly moved her off his lap so he could pull his own pants and boxers down.

he pulled her back on his lap and positioned her to be hovering over his tip, letting her wetness saturate his dick before letting her sink down. in which, he did not too long after he found himself aching to be fill her full.

he pulled y/ns hips down, letting his dick slide past her velvety walls. earning a moan from both y/n and matt.

y/n ground her hips into his, moving forward and backward before bouncing up, then down repeatedly on his cock, finding her pattern.

“agh- fuck” y/n whispered, placing her hands on his shoulders to stabilize herself as she bounced up and down on him. “you got it, baby” matt encouraged, throwing his head back at the heavenly feeling of y/ns walls squeezing his dick in all the right places, she felt so fucking good and he couldnt get enough of it.

one of his hands moved from her hip to her clit, rubbing in tight, slow circles, eliciting a moan from y/n. “fuck!” she moaned, placing her head into the crook of matts neck while continuing her bouncing.

matt bucked his hips up, meeting her hips in a pleasureful rhythm. from the suddenness of matts hips snapping into y/ns she screamed a gutteral scream, the sound almost throat scraping. y/n bit her lips and matched the rhythm matt had created, each time their hips met she let out a whimper.

a tightening sensation began in y/ns stomach, as early as it was in the sex, it had been so good, too good and she knew either way matt wasnt stopping anytime soon.

“‘m close, matt- ngh-“ y/n moaned, her voice hoarse from the scream she earlier screamt. y/n continued with her bouncing, until her legs began to go weak. she began grinding on matts dick—to the best of her abilities while he still bucked up into her.

“fuck, wait for me. I know you can.” he said in return, noticing how y/n wasnt moving anymore. he took matters into his own hands and flipped them over, laying y/n on the bed, and matt standing at the edge, still plowing himself deep into her.

y/n bit her lip, surpressing a scream that was threatening to spill out. her eyes rolled back with the new angle matt had at her, her stomach tightening even more, holding off her release was already hard enough, but having to wait? hell, was she in for a treat.

“j- just a little bit longer, you’re doing so good for me, baby” matt praised, driving his hips impossibly faster into her, chasing his high. y/n clenched around him, unexpectedly sending matt over the edge, cumming inside her with a loud groan. “fuck- cum with me” matt moaned, his spurts of cum painting her walls white.

y/n came almost on instand, the knot in her stomach breaking as her cum covered matts dick, with him still plunging inside her, though his place slowing. he slowly pulled out, y/n whimpering at the feeling of no longer being full.

matt collasped on the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest, mumbling a lazy “you did amazing, sweetheart” as sleep slowly overtook him, y/n following suit.

he was so fucking thankful that the weed didnt work, cause that sex with y/n made him feel things hes never felt before.

2136 words

@mattsturnxoxo @littlebookworm803 @wh0resstuff @luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @jnkvivi

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ranchstoryblog · 17 hours

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Ranch Story Community Q&A Volume 3: Igusa Matsuyama Returns!

Igusa Matsuyama, the legendary artist behind the Story of Seasons series since the original 1996 game has once again agreed to a Q&A featuring questions from fans from around the world! A big thank you to all the members of the community who helped make this possible.

Some aspects of the text have been altered to match localization people are familiar with. (Japanese names to English names, for example: Bokujou Monogatari (牧場物語) was formerly localized as Harvest Moon and is now localized as Story of Seasons, etc). Images were not part of the original text and have been added as a visual aid. Though we translated as many questions as we could, we did not include questions involving personal information or regarding unannounced releases. Please understand.

If you would like to read our original correspondence (in Japanese), that will be provided in a separate post.

Additional cosplay photo provided by Foxface from our community Discord.

Translations: @artycharmy (correspondence, outline) Editing and Clean-up: Jerome, @artycharmy, and @regularcelery

——— Anonymous asks: What is the relationship between Jamie and the Harvest Goddess?

Igusa Matsuyama: Jamie was treated as a fairy or spirit. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if there's any points that link them and the Goddess.

Editor's note: the term Matsuyama uses is "妖精."

Tomato asks: I would like to ask about what their inspiration was for the outfits designs in the original release of harvest moon another wonderful life. Since I got reminded of the girl clothing brand Mezzo Piano when looking at the I love Kuma/I love bears outfit.

Igusa Matsuyama: I remember the only thing I thought of was using Spring-like colours! (All designs were made with seasonal colours In mind) When I knew that Daachan, who was planned to be used in a lot of events, wouldn't actually play a big role in the game, I put him on the T-Shirt so he could at least get some attention as a mascot-like existence.

Pansy asks: If you were able to create your own game for the Story of Seasons franchise, with no rules or limitations whatsoever, what do you think it might look like?

Igusa Mastuyama: Since I love dogs, I'd like to try making a Story of Seasons that's set in a world just full of dogs. Though that dream of mine probably won't come true.

Anonymous asks: The look of Story of Seasons has changed a lot over the years! What would you say is more challenging to create - simple designs, where you have to work with very little space, or complicated designs, where you have to consider many little details?

Igusa Matsuyama: A long time ago there were a lot of things you weren't able to replicate in video games. There were constraints for things like the number of colours and patterns for hair styles and clothes. It was difficult to work around those constraints, but at the same time a lot of fun. Nowadays, it's the complete opposite. Now we can design anything with hardly any constraints. And unlike a long time ago, now I'm asked to make more complicated designs, like patterns and decorations. However, if it's a big request, sometimes I run into quite a lot of trouble when designing. They each have had their own difficulties.

Anonymous asks: Hello, Matsuyama! Thank you for bringing the worlds of Bokujou Monogatari to life for many years. Your art has had a huge influence on me!

One of my favorite candidates is “Rock” from “A Wonderful Life.” I’d love to know any particular influences for his character design from 21 years ago, and his new design for the remake.

Igusa Matsuyama: I was told that he was a young, wannabe playboy, so I somehow ended up with that sort of design. For the remake, I made his clothes a little looser without changing his design, so he'd look even more playful. I, too, wanted to avoid changing him as much as I could as there are other people among the staff that also like the original for his “Rockness”. So, he got that makeover after everybody shared and checked their opinions with each other.

Jerome asks: On page 130 of the "Special Comic" manga there's artwork of Super Famicom characters that have never been printed anywhere else. Do you or Marvelous still have these? It would be great to see them in more detail in the future some time.

Igusa Matsuyama: They're all characters that appeared in the SNES version of "Harvest Moon." Nina's parents, Ellen's mother, Ann's father, Maria's parents (The mayor couple). I'm sorry. My SNES illustrations have gone missing...

Raven Bloom, Ryan, and Moth ask: How did you feel when your designs for the men in A Wonderful Life were repurposed to be bachelors? What do you think of the changes made to the bachelors in the remake of A Wonderful Life? I miss the “Bruce Campbell” look Matthew used to have.

Igusa Matsuyama: Matthew (マシュー) is Masshu (マッシュ) in the Japanese A Wonderful Life (Editors note: Charmy made a careless mistake when translating the questions, sorry Matsuyama san 🫣) When I first heard this name, the first thing that came to mind was Evil Dead's protagonist, Ash. You're right. I designed him after Bruce Campbell. I still love Bruce Campbell today. When Wonderful Life was under production, I had heard they weren't going to make a girl version, so I designed him not as a love interest, but as a quirky character. Knowing that he'd appear in the remake as a marriage candidate, I redesigned him as a character that would be liked by many. I hope you can enjoy the game for its nostalgia, as well as for being a shiny, brand new release.

Salmon Axe and Anonymous ask: I personally adore Doraemon x SOS game. Are you interested in working directly with or collaborating with other franchises in the future? And is there a series outside Story of Seasons you would like to work with now as a guest artist? (Could it be Pokemon?)

Igusa Matsuyama: I've loved Doraemon manga since I was a kid! Working as a guest artist? Hmm, I'm happier being the main illustrator, so nothing in particular comes to mind. I enjoy a lot of games in my free time, such as Fallout, Far Cry and Border Lands.

Anonymous asks: Even though we never see his face, was there ever a concept of how Woofio would look without his costume?

Igusa Matsuyama: I designed Woofio as the being that is Woofio, so there's no design of him without his costume.

Idris asks: Your style has upgraded a lot over the time to match the trends. Do you think you will ever go for an old school look (early HM) for a SoS game again? What do you think is the secret to your art’s charm?

Igusa Matsuyama: What I'm particular about when designing for Story of Seasons is making characters with head/body proportions and an atmosphere that go well with that release. First, I listen to the client's request then think of a design according to that. These days, game visuals have gotten fancier and fancier, so there's not many opportunities for characters with short proportions to make an appearance. To me, what's important when designing is "playfulness." More so than "pretty" or "cool" and such, I get attached to the character, have fun making the character. I find joy in character creation itself.

MacGyver asks: Yasuhiro Wada has shared some interesting stories about how chaotic the original game's development was. Is there anything interesting you remember from around that time?

Igusa Matsuyama: Now it's a memory I can look back on and laugh about, but I'm not sure how much I can talk about it so please forgive me. If Wada hadn't been there back then, then "Harvest Moon" wouldn't have become a thing.

Toyberb and Anonymous ask: There’s a lot of different cow designs now, which is your favorite to draw?

Igusa Matsuyama: I've loved drawing animals since I was a kid, so I love all of the cows. Although the easiest one to draw is the cow with the big nose.

Anonymous asks: Were there any games where you made designs for protagonists of genders that did not end up available to play as? (Like a girl protagonist for Save the Homeland/Hero of Leaf Valley or a nonbinary protagonist for any game before A Wonderful Life)

Igusa Matsuyama: There's so many designs that got scrapped, but as far as I recall, there's not really many where that character's setting itself was scrapped. (Excluding Thumbelina, mentioned below)

Koharu asks: Were there ever any character designs made for other older SNES characters like Ellen for 64? Some magazines had Marie with blue hair, like the SNES character, so it made me wonder if she (SNES Maria) was meant to also be there at some point.

Igusa Matsuyama: I'm not in the position to make settings or scenarios where characters from other games appear, so I can't say, but I like the idea of older characters making an appearance!

Amina/k0iisu asks: Hello! I really love Hiro’s design specifically. Could you tell me a few facts about him/his design that might not be well known information? Thank you so much! I love your art :D

Igusa Matsuyama: Thank you very much! Hiro is a future doctor, so I tried to make them look as much like a doctor as I could. Also, to make him look friendlier, I designed him as your average everyday boy you'd see in the neighbourhood. He doesn't have a flashy face or hairstyle, but he's one of my favourite designs, too. I wrote this in the guidebook too, but what I like about him is the Asian flair I added to his clothes and the spot of colour around his feet.

Bunbun asks: I'm excited for the Nendoroid that was announced of Claire! I hope there will be ones of HM64 designs too. Since you have a lot of figures on your blog, how does it feel to be able to add one of your own characters to your collection? Are there any of your other characters you hope will get figures of?

Igusa Matsuyama: A nendoroid of Claire! I'm looking forward to it too, but when is it going to be released? If it's possible, I'd like one of Woofio.

Editor's note: Preorders are open for Nendoroid Claire now!

Chickee asks: A purple-haired princess character was rumored to have existed in Harvest Moon 64, but she didn't make it to the published game. Did you create a design for this character?

Igusa Matsuyama: That's probably Princess Thumbelina. Wasn't she Incredibly small? What I designed didn't end up being used. Speaking of HM64 characters, I pushed for them to include a pet turtle, but in the end it only appeared as an ornament. For A Wonderful Life, I asked for a turtle to be included again and designed a tortoise with a scarf, but it didn't make it as a pet and appeared only as a wild turtle that walks around the pond. I'm waiting for the day they finally include a pet turtle in the game.

emery flower147 asks: omg I saw the pics where the AWL girls are in a team and Muffy has a shotgun and stuff? Do you think any other characters would work in a cool team like that?

Igusa Matsuyama: For the Friends of Mineral Town guide book, I had the five girls, Popuri, Marie, Ran, Elly and Karen work hard as Harvest Sprites. Also, for the guide books, I drew Pete (The old male protagonist), Sarah (The GB version female protagonist), and Claire doing whatever I wanted them to. I don't know if you can call it cool or not, but it was fun being in charge of that.

Ixur asks: A lot of the PoOT character designs for the regular villagers seem more popular than the marriage candidates in my region. Is that something that's been noticed by you/Marvelous in Japan? Lars, Clemens, Beth, and Misaki for example.

Igusa Matsuyama: Marvelous doesn't really talk about that sort of thing so I'm not sure if they're aware of it or not. I don't do social media so I'm also not sure which characters are popular. I'm happy as long as the characters are liked. The design on Lars’s shirt is modeled after my beloved dog, so I’d be especially happy if you like his shirt too.

Anonymous asks: What do you think about people cosplaying your designs?

Igusa Matsuyama: It makes me very happy! I'm no good at sewing, so I really admire people who can make their own clothes. It's an honour having the designs I made be made into real clothes, and I think it's great to have fun acting out the characters.

Afro Fae asks: When creating designs for characters, how do you settle on a specific color palette? Do you take color meanings into account with a character's personality or do you go purely off of feeling?

Igusa Matsuyama: I keep in mind the overall colours the client asked for while designing. Sometimes I propose a new colour when I think there's one that fits better. I'm also careful when choosing colours and everyone's traits to make sure it's easy to tell which character is which when seen from a distance. However, in the cases of families and such, I do the opposite and give them all a common colour to give them a sense of kinship.

———

From all of us at Ranch Story, we'd like to thank Matsuyama from the bottom of our hearts for answering our questions again! Whether a fan has only just discovered the series or has grown up alongside it, so many people have loved these characters and worlds that Igusa Matsuyama brings to life, so it feels truly special to be able to have this opportunity. We'll end this article with Matsuyama's own words, as well as a parting gift.

Igusa Matsuyama: I'm so glad I could answer your questions again. I'm the one that should be saying thank you. It means the world to me knowing that everyone enjoys my illustrations! I added an illustration as thanks. I'll keep up the hard work!

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ourflagmeansbts · 2 days

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Source (Season 2 - December 27th 2023)

sambaschutte: Today’s Crew Shoutout: the hilarious @mattjohnmaher who plays Black Pete🏴‍☠️ Every word coming out of his mouth is gold☠️ It was an honor marrying him. And we love screaming…⚔️

#ofmd #ofmd bts #our flag means death #our flag means death bts #s2 #matthew #kristian #rhys #ewen #nathan #samba #sambaschutte #2023

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talksaxy · 1 day

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ZEROBASEONE / 'SWEAT' COUNTDOWN TEASER

#zerobaseone #zerobase1 #zb1 #zb1 edits #zb1work #zb1net #kpopccc #ultkpopnetwork #hanbin #matthew #jiwoong #ricky #gunwook #taerae #yujin #zhang hao #gyuvin #cosmogif

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godslove · 3 days

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joneevarts · 2 years

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Smoke Break

#the sandman #the corinthian #morpheus #dream #fanart #digital art #artists on tumblr #jo's art #sketch #dc #mathew the raven #matthew #smoke #matthew the raven

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anabimelo · 1 year

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SEASON 2!

#sandman #the sandman #dream of the endless #dream #morpheus #matthew the raven #matthew #my art #art

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maria-taiwin · 2 years

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This panel was really peak comedy

#the sandman #neil gaiman #the sandman comics #matthew #dream of the endless #morpheus #dream #matthew the raven #lol #funny post #pet #peak comfort #funny posts #lmao #funny

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hollandsangel · 9 days

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casual | m. sturniolo

i’ve been scheming for weeks !! (actually started this before move over AND voice. so.)

basically i’m obsessed with this song

summary: the most dangerous label is the casual one; or you both want more

warnings: matt x fem!reader, use of y/n, ANGST, cursing, happy ending bc i’m a sucker & a lost cause

wc: 6.5k

the sun is dipping behind the horizon, painting the sky pink and orange. you have your window rolled down, letting the salt air breeze pick your hair up as you rest against the car door. matt has elmer’s new song playing on aux, something lofi with a bit of spanish mixed in.

“like what you see?” he speaks up, taking his eyes off the road for a second to look over at you. he stares for a second, your skin illuminated by the fading rays of the sun, kissing the tops of your cheeks and giving you a warm glow.

you press yourself up to sit properly and catch his hand resting on the center console. you always loved that he drives with his left hand, the right always close enough for you to touch.

“it’s pretty,” you say, poking your head back out of the window, looking overhead at the passing trees, “the palms are so tall.” matt squeezes your hand, and when you look back up he’s already looking at you, smiling when you meet his eyes.. his hair looks lighter in the setting sun, the side of his face lit up all golden and warm. you bite your lip and smile, turning away with a slight flush.

“it’s green,” you tell him and he flicks his head back forward, muttering a curse under his breath.

“my bad,” he admits, refusing to drop your hand.

it looked like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t, just takes a breath and lets it out before turning back to the road.

when the car pulls into the garage you reach to the back to grab your overnight bag. matt’s already out of the car, coming over to your side to open your door, “c’mon,” he says in that silly high pitched voice, just to hear you giggle.

you make your way to his bedroom, knowing the ins and outs of the triplet’s house like the back of your hand. matt follows behind you, his footsteps echoing amongst the hardwood floors.

“i can’t wait to lay down,” you sigh, the effects of the sun's heat catching up with you now that you’re in the cool, air conditioned house.

“yeah, i’m feelin’ pretty tired too,” matt agrees, his voice heavy and suddenly cloaked by fatigue.

you’d been out all day, shopping on melrose, walking by the beach. dinner and ice cream and the beating sun soaked up all your energy. nothing sounded better than getting cozy in matt’s bed and watching a movie, maybe catching a bit of a nap before deciding to head home. you knew he’d insist on driving you, and that always hurt more than you’d like to admit.

the two of you weren’t dating, he wasn’t your boyfriend and you told yourself you didn’t mind. it wasn’t a very convincing lie though, most everyone around you could tell. it’s not that you hadn’t talked about it, you had, there were just things getting in the way.

matt was worried about how his fans would react, and he absolutely did not want it to be at your expense. you hated the thought of pushing him, like forcing him or asking too much, being too needy would only drive him away. all your friends had told you to stop, that you were only going to get yourself hurt, but you’d honestly rather have half of him and a broken heart than none of him at all.

you never doubted that he cares about you, in fact you know he does. he always picks you up from classes, knows your order at all your favourite fast food places and keeps an extra toothbrush in the bathroom for you. it’s things like that that make the title of causal or just seeing each other sting a little bit more.

here though, all settled in matt’s bed, you try not to think about it too hard. there’s some liam neeson movie he insisted on showing you playing on the tv, and you’re happy to be watching it, but mostly happy to be watching it with him. his chest rises and falls under your head with each breath and it’s making you more tired than before.

“i’m so warm,” you say through a yawn, all comfy now in your sweats and matt’s crewneck, although the comfort comes mostly from his arms wrapped around your middle.

“you can throw on a pair of boxers if you want, top drawer,” matt offers, his arms unmoving, keeping you mildly trapped against him.

“let me goooo,” you groan dramatically, making a big show of sliding out from under his arms and grinning to yourself when he laughs.

“come back,” he pouts, reaching for a stuffed animal to take your place while you cross the room to his dresser.

“just give me a sec,” you giggle, rummaging around in the drawer and pulling out a pair of plaid boxers. there’s something stuck to it, all tangled up in the mess of his clothes, “what the– is this my bra? i’ve been looking for this for like a month.”

matt lifts his head just enough to see what you’re holding up, huffing when he hits the pillow again, “i dunno, sweetheart, you probably left it, you’ve got a lot of stuff here,” he sounds tired, and the words are pressed against his pillow now that he’s rolled onto his stomach.

you’ve got lots of stuff here.

it digs into you, how casually he says it, an almost physical ache you feel beyond your ribs, right where your heart is.

quickly you try to shake it off, shucking off your sweatpants and sliding the boxers up your legs so you can hurry back into bed before allowing yourself to think about what he said too much.

“c’mere,” there’s a little smile on his face when he says it, arm outstretched for you to crawl under. immediately matt tucks you up against his body impossibly close, his nose stuffed into your hair and breathing you in. it feels nice, right, and you let yourself bask in it, like maybe the state of your relationship (or lack thereof) won’t be in limbo forever. he has to feel it too, the pull.

“i think you should just stay tonight,” he says quietly against your temple, leaving a little kiss there.

“are you sure?”

he nods, “it’s late, ‘m not gonna kick you out,” you can see his smile in the dark, his features lit up delicately by the dim light of the movie, “and i kinda wanna cuddle,” he admits sheepishly, trying to hide his blush when you turn to him.

“awe, matty,” you tease, scooching closer to him, hardly an inch away.

“hey,” he says all high pitched, making you laugh again.

“that voice always gets me,” you tell him, snuggling up under his chin.

“that’s why i do it,” he tells you.

it doesn’t take long for you to slip into an easy sleep with matt holding you, the mindless noise coming from the tv luring you deeper into unconsciousness. he’s being extra gentle, finger tips dragging along your waist under your top. you hardly feel him slide out of bed or tuck you in all snug under the covers.

nick’s in the kitchen when matt emerges from his bedroom for some water, hunting for something in the pantry. matt rubs his eyes.

“hello?” chris leans forward on the couch, his voice startling matt.

“jesus, what– you’re just both out here at fucking two in the morning?” he grumbles, eyes squinted against the harsh lights.

“we ordered food,” chris stands up, walking into the kitchen.

nick nods, closing the cupboard, glass in hand, “we thought you were at y/n’s or something, i didn’t hear you come in,”

matt grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and a takes a sip before answering, “nah she’s here, she’s asleep,” he says, nodding towards his bedroom.

nick groans, “god, are you guys dating yet,” he asks, head rolling back against his shoulders, exsapertated.

matt’s eyes widen at the sudden outburst of noise, looking back at his door to make sure nick didn’t wake you, “dude, be quiet,” he urges.

you’d felt matt’s absence after a few minutes, the warmth of his body leaving the bed when he did. slowly you sit up, pressing the heel of your palm into your eye and swinging your feet to the floor quietly. you stand behind matt’s closed bedroom door, prepared to silently creep out and go to the bathroom when you catch his voice.

“and no,we’re just casual,” he continues to answer nick’s question, who glances over and chris. “what— don’t look at him like that,” this earns him another sideye, “i mean it, it’s not serious.”

“matthew” nick starts, “isn’t she asleep in your bed right now?” nick points an accusatory finger in his brother’s direction, emphasizing his words.

it’s matt’s turn to look at chris, who holds his hands up in surrender, “don’t look at me, i’m with nick,” he says, looking away from his brother from where he remains on the couch.

“well she’s not my girlfriend, if that’s where this is going,” matt turns back to the fridge, not really looking for anything, just trying to hide from his brother’s judgmental, but justified, stares.

it hurts to hear, even if you know it’s the truth.

“and why not, idiot,” nick asks, getting fed up. he can clearly tell how his brother feels and is getting frustrated, mad even, with the idea of him toying with your feelings.

“i just—i just can’t do it.” that hurts more, a sharp pain you feel in your chest. you swallow dryly, and that hurts too.

you decide you don’t have to go to the bathroom that badly anymore, and slowly sink back into matt’s bed. you know you and matt aren’t together, that he’s not your boyfriend, but a part of you has always clung to the idea that one day he would be, that he’d finally make the move. you thought he liked you enough to at least try.

tugging the duvet up to your chin you roll over onto your side to face the wall. matt comes back into the bedroom and you can hear nick and chris talking quietly for a second before the door closes again. you’re not too sure, but you think one of them mumbles your name amidst the conversation. matt slides back under the covers with you, coming as close as he can to wrap his arms around you.

it makes your head spin, his words rattling around in your mind, saying he “can’t do it,” but here is, body tucked perfectly against yours, holding you so tight you’d think he never wanted to let go.

—

matt seems notice that you’re a bit quieter than usual the next morning, but you try to hide it under the excuse of not feeling well. he offers to drop you off and you take him up on it, knowing that marinating in the misery you feel won’t solve anything but seems to be the easiest thing to do at the moment.

“text me if you need anything, okay?” his tone is concerned and you can feel him looking at you even though you’re trying to avoid eye contact. you know you’d cave, catching a glimpse of the light blue with all that worry clouding it.

“yeah, i will,” you sigh, reaching into the back seat to grab your bag.

matt catches you, palm placed delicately along your jaw so you’ll look at him, “hey,” he says all soft, “c’mere,” he guides you forward slightly and you know what’s coming, you know it’s gonna hurt but you do it anyway.

he kisses you gently and you fall into it with ease, reaching out to touch his arm. when he strokes his thumb along your cheekbone you pull away, licking your lips.

“i’ve gotta go,” you whisper, afraid the full volume of your voice would shatter something, you’re not too sure what.

“yeah, okay,” he nods, pulling his hand away from your face and trying to smile as you open your door, watching you walk into your building.

he stays there in the parked car for a minute, wondering what’s wrong, pretending he doesn’t know that this whole situation hurts you just as much as it hurts him. he’s staring up at your apartment window, tapping the steering wheel and taking a long, deep breath.

“fuck,” he mutters to himself, pushing his hair back and putting the car in reverse.

—

you and matt don’t talk excessively for the next few days, only a few texts exchanged here and there and one phone call after he knew you’d just written a midterm.

he called to ask how it went and tell you he was proud of you, and also to invite you out to dinner with his parents on the upcoming weekend. they were flying out to l.a. for a few days and he wanted you to meet them. it felt cruel.

“i dunno matt, i’ve got an assignment due sunday at midnight, i might not be able to make it,” of course you wanted to go, but the tug of self preservation was starting to become more equal to the pull you felt towards him. you were starting to lose sight of what was more important, him or yourself.

for so long it had been him.

“please, sweetheart, i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever,” matt slumps into his desk chair, spinning back forth.

you cave and somehow your vision clears. it was him again.

“yeah, yeah, okay, i wanna see you too,”

matt smiles on the other end of the phone, “yay,” he says sweetly, making his joy obvious, “i can help you with your assignment if you want, too,” he offers, and you know he’s just trying to get a smile out of you.

you laugh without meaning to, “matt, you know nothing about the course,”

“i’ll figure it out, anything i can do to make sure i see you,”

you bite your lip, trying to keep a smile at bay, “careful, you’re gonna make me think you like me or something,”

“aw, well i can’t have that now can i?” he teases, and it cuts deeper than he realizes it does.

“no,” you mutter, trying to hold onto the smile on your face even though matt can’t see you, “um, i should probably get going, if i wanna finish my assignment on time,”

“oh, yeah, okay. i could come by a little later with some food?” he poses it as a question, sensing your hesitancy.

“you don’t have to do that,”

“i know, but i want to,” he says it so easily, like there’s no reason in the world he wouldn’t come to your house after eleven pm just to sit on your bedroom floor while you do school work.

“canes?” you finally offer.

“be there in half an hour.” you hear the car keys jingle through the phone, the front door latching shut.

—

the triplet’s parents land on friday afternoon. you haven’t seen matt since wednesday night when he called and brought take out to your place, and you’re starting to feel a little nervous at the thought of seeing his parents.

you’ve spoken to them over facetime once or twice when matt had called them, but this is real, this is serious.

you think you’ve completely driven yourself insane with that, thinking of it as serious. for days there’s been a battle in your head about whether or not this means matt wants to make your relationship offical. it’s become such a problem that you’ve forbidden yourself from thinking about it.

taking a deep breath you refocus on yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and trying to decide on a lip product for the night when your roomate wanders into your bedroom.

“how are you doing?” she asks, leaning against the door frame. you don’t answer, just look up at her with what must be a miserable expression, because she chuckles sadly at you, “that bad, huh?”

you groan and clench your fists, “i’m just confused!” you exclaim.

“i know, but i think tonight should clear some things up,” she tells you hopefully, and you really want to believe her.

“i hope so,” you sigh, “i just really like him,” you whine, defeated.

your phone dings then, a message from matt of course.

matt sturn

be there in twenty

ive got the kids

you laugh sadly at the text.

“‘s that him?” your roommate asks.

“yeah, him and his brothers are on the way, they’ll be here soon.”

“you’ll do great, don’t sweat it,” she tries to reassure you, giving you an over enthusiastic thumbs up before shutting your door again.

matt, nick and chris have been in the car for about five minutes and already matt’s debating driving into oncoming traffic. him and his brothers have had the same fight at least three times since you stayed over last week, and if he’s honest, he’s getting really sick of it.

“enough of this ‘i can’t do that’ bullshit, matt, she’s coming to dinner with our parents,” nick says pointedly, running out of air at the end of his setence, “you don’t just bring your hook up to that shit, so fucking stop talking to her if it’s that much of an issue,” he continues, leaning froward against matt’s seat, staring holes into the side of his brothers face.

matt is clearly aggravated, gripping the wheel a little too hard, “shut the fuck up, nick— she’s not just a hook up,”

nick’s eyes get wider at this and he leans over matt’s seat, voice exponentially louder when he says, “you just proved my fucking point!!”

“you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” matt mumbles in a deft tone, staring harshly out onto the road.

chris leans over from the passenger seat, gesturing in matt’s direction, “and you do? you never shut the fuck up about her, and she’s always at the house but you’re too much of a pussy to do anything,” he yells over matt all in one breath, words coming out too fast.

matt’s mouth is set in a firm line and he’s shaking his head, “you guys don’t get it!” he finally yells back, signaling and switching lanes before he can finish his thought, “i can’t do that to her,” the car’s stopped at a red light now, allowing him to look nick in the eye from the rearview mirror. both him and chris shut up for a second.

“i can’t do that to her,” matt emphasizes again, making his point with his hands, bracketing the last two words, “the internet would chew her up and spit her out. you think i don’t want to make her my girlfriend? do you think i like doing this to her? every fucking day i think about cutting it off because i don’t wanna hurt her, but i’m too fucking selfish to do it.”

“it’s green,” chris mumbles.

“shut the fuck up,” matt says through his teeth as he turns back to face the road, driving through the light.

“so what are you gonna do?” nick asks, softer now, arm hung over the back of matt’s seat.

matt looks up at him in the rearview again, taking a deep, anxiety ridden breath, “i don’t know.”

the three boys are silent for the remainder of the drive to your apartment. matt puts the car in park and mumbles something about being right back before getting out and heading up to your floor, slamming the car door a little bit too hard.

“jesus christ,” chris breathes, feeling the tension finally break.

there’s a knock at the front door, and you take a deep breath before opening it. matt stands with his hair a little bit messy and his cheeks a little bit red, but he softens when he sees you.

“hey,” you say, “let me just grab my bag,”

“wait, y/n,”

“yeah?” you turn back around to look at him. he’s standing in the middle of your kitchen, looking a little bit deflated.

“can i have a hug?”

your heart nearly shatters. is he feeling it too?

“wha– of course baby, of course,” you cross the kitchen over to him and he already has his arms open. immediately he locks his arms around your waist, resting his head against yours. you gently rub his back and rest your cheek on his shoulder.

“is everything okay?” you wonder after a second, feeling him breathe heavily against you.

matt squeezes you a little tighter and kisses your hair, “yeah,” he sighs, “nick and chris are just annoying,”

“you love them though,” you remind him.

he pulls away but keeps you close, hands on your hips now, “sometimes i think about reevaluating that,”

you laugh at him, fixing his messy hair, “no you don’t,”

its his turn to smile, “you’re right,” he leans in for a quick kiss which you grant him, letting it dampen your nerves and reservations on the evening.

“i know, now c’mon, we’ve gotta go,” you slide your hand down into his.

“you don’t have to be nervous, by the way,” matt says to you in the elevator, still holding your hand.

you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and he squeezes your hand, letting you know he’s there for you, “it just feels serious,” you finally admit what you’ve been thinking for the last few days. you’re a little bit afraid to look over at him, so you keep your gaze towards the closed elevator doors.

matt gives your hand a quick squeeze and glances at the side of your face, you can feel his eyes on you, “it’s not serious, don’t worry,” it’s a little strained when he says it, as if he means something else but you can’t quite decipher it. it’s too much to think about now and yet it’s all you’ve been thinking about for days, how ‘unserious’ it all is to him.

when you do get to dinner, marylou and jimmy are already at the restaurant. marylou is being so sweet to you, asking about classes and how you met the boys, what you like do to in your spare time and things about matt that you tease him over. you feel like a girlfriend, you feel like his girlfriend and you don't think you can take much more of it. she tells you how much he talks about you when he’s home, that even justin has started making fun of him for it.

when you look over at matt he’s blushing but staring directly into his plate, avoiding you.

the smile you plastered onto your face fades and you dig your nails into your plam under the table.

“excuse me, i’m gonna run to the bathroom,” you say to no one in particular, catching nick’s eyes. he seems to notice your pleading gaze, and sends you a text after you’ve left the table

nick stromboli

you okay?

you lock yourself in the single bathroom and stand staring at your phone screen.

you

this is brutal

your mom is being sooo sweet but matt won’t even look at me

i feel like he's embarrassed

nick stromboli

he's actually the biggest idiot that ever lived

chris is lowk giving him a death stare rn

nick was being serious, chris staring at matt as marylou goes on about how nice you are.

nick elbows matt in the side and he looks over, more than slightly fed up.

“i think you should go check on y/n,” he whispers, making matt perk up a bit in worry.

“why?”

“i don’t think she’s feeling good,”

“oh, i hope she’s okay,” marylou interrupts herself.

“i’ll be right back,” matt stands from the table and walks to the bathroom, knocking on the door gently, “y/n/n? it’s me sweetheart,”

a slight panic drops through you as you push away from where you were leaning against the wall, trying to catch your breath.

“c’mon let me in, nick said you weren’t feeling good,” he knows you were nervous about tonight, and he’s hoping that’s all it is, that he can fix it.

you sigh, head tossed back to your shoulders as you breathe out before letting him in, hoping you look more composed than you feel.

“hey, you okay?” he asks gently, closing the door behind him.

“yeah, uh, i think i’m gonna go,” you mumble, looking away.

“what? d–do you want like a gingerale or something?” his brows are pinched and he’s reaching out for you. you step back without thinking about it. you don’t even notice you’d done it until you see the hurt look on his face. he reaches out again, slower this time.

“y/n…”

something in you clicks, or comes crashing down when his fingers brush your wrist, “i’m not your girlfriend matt, stop worrying about me like i am,”

he's a little bit stunned at that and pulls back, saying your name again.

“no, don’t do that, i heard what you said to the guys last week, and you keep telling me we’re causal and we can’t be anything but we’re at dinner with your fucking parents. i can’t keep prenteding to be your girlfriend, or–or that it doesn’t hurt, i just can’t do it anymore,”

there’s tears in your eyes you don’t notice until matt whispers, “don’t cry,”

“i’m going crazy,” you tell him, voice so soft, so fragile that his heart breaks a little bit.

“no you’re not, c’mon– we can work this out,” the words are so comforting, and normally he’s the one you’d run to for comfort, but he’s hurting you.

“are we gonna make it official, matt? or are we just gonna keep sleepingover at eachother’s houses four days a week and tell all our friend we aren’t dating?” you ask, pressing your fingertips underneath your eyes, “are we gonna do this for real or are you gonna keep telling your parents about me when you’re in boston, and–and keep coming to my house after midnight with take out just because i don’t wanna be alone working on assignments,” he doesn’t say anything, just stares at you with a solemn look, so you keep going.

“i can’t take the sorry fucking look chris keeps giving me when i’m walking out of your room, it hurts, matt,”

he steps forward finally, trying to make up for more than the physical space that separates you, “no, c’mon, just–just come back to the table. i’ll stay at yours tonight and we’ll talk about this,”

you hold back a scoff at the irony of him mentioning he’ll stay over, “i need an answer now.” you tell him. he’s gone back to standing a few feet away from you, not touching you anymore.

“an answer for what?”

“can you commit to this now? to me?” you feel like you’re pleading with him and you hate how desperate it is.

“we aren’t having this conversation in the bathroom right now, can we please just talk about it later?” matt asks.

you shake your head, “matt, we’ve been doing this for four months, i don’t wanna wait any longer, i’m not a toy.”

he stares at you, licking his lips. you stare back, suffocating in his silence. it’s all the answer you need.

“i’m gonna go,” you mutter, “tell your parents it was really nice to meet them, and that i’m sorry for leaving,” you add, looking away when you walk passed him to open the door.

you leave the restaurant and call an uber, hardly sparing a glance in the direction of his family’s table on your way out.

“is y/n okay?” jimmy asks when matt comes back alone.

matt shoves a hand into his hair to push it back, not meeting anybody’s eyes, “she went home, she wasn’t feeling good”

“and you didn’t offer to take her?” marylou scolds, sure she raised her son better than that.

“she didn’t want me to,” matt admits, defeated.

nick and chris share a look, knowing that isn’t the whole truth, or really the truth at all.

—

a few days later, after their parents had gone back to boston, matt’s shuffling into nick’s bedroom, where him and chris are laying on the bed on their phones.

matt looks a mess, hair wild and eyes sunken in. he’s been in his bedroom all day, blinds drawn and door latched shut

nick thinks he’s wearing a hoodie of yours, the faded smell of your perfume lingering when his brother walks in.

“…you okay?” nick asks, glancing up from his phone.

matt shakes his head and sits on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes with his fists, “i feel like fucking shit,” he admits, still looking down, “i hate that i hurt her,” he tells the two, as if his brothers weren’t already acutely aware, “i was trying so hard to keep from hurting her and i fucking did it anyway,” they wait for matt to finish, knowing he has a little more to say, “i was so fucking scared of making things offical that i lost her all together, she’s never gonna talk to me again,”

nick sighs and looks over at chris, the two of them sharing a sympathetic look before he moves forward and puts his arm around matt, who slumps against his shoulder, “that's not true,” nick says, “she probably should never talk to you again, but she’s a good person, and she’s our friend,”

“yeah, and she cares about you a lot, matt.” chris adds, sitting on the matt’s other side.

matt groans and covers his face, “i know, and that’s what sucks,” he wipes his palms over his face, “god, why was i so fucking stupid?”

“because you really like her,” chris offers, “and you’re gonna try and make it up to her…right?”

matt sits back up, staring at the wall, “i dunno, i want to, i don’t…” he takes a deep breath, willing the pit in his stomach to go away, “i’m more afraid of losing her all together than i was of any of that other shit, but i don’t know how to fix…this,” he says, dejected.

nick perks up, because he’s never seen matt half as lively as he is when he’s with you, or talking about you. he’s pretty sure matt was on his way to falling in love with you (if he hasn’t already) and refuses to let him lose hope,“i have an idea,” he says.

matt looks at his brother, desperate. the circles under his eyes a shade too dark, his cheeks sunken in, his lips chapped. nick continues.

“we’ll need waffles.”

—

it’s been over a week and a half since you walked out of the restaurant, and since you’d spoken to matt. nick’s been messaging you, asking if you’re okay and telling you he’s there for you. there’s been a bit of him telling you how stupid matt is, which you’d agreed with solemnly.

nick’s messaging you now. you’re posted up at your kitchen table trying to review for one of your exams, but more so warding off another wave of tears, pressing your fingertips into your eyes.

you pick up your phone to answer the message nick had sent, something about a sleepover at your place this weekend and a promise of a hannah montana binge, but there’s a knock at your door. you’re confused at first, wondering who’s at your door this late.

“did you order food?” you ask your roommate as you get up, looking in through the crack of her barely opened door. her headphones are on and she's hunched over a textbook with a highlighter, oblivious to any visitors.

your heartbeat speeds up a little bit as you begin to think about who’s on the other side. with a huff you look through the peephole, met with a slightly distorted image of matt anxiously shifting his weight from foot to foot.

he keeps looking down the hallway and biting the inside of his cheek. he’s holding something. a paper bag in one hand and a bouquet of delicately wrapped flowers in the other.

you turn the lock, hand shaking a little bit as the door swings open. he whips his head from where he was looking down the hall to the now open door, your eyes locking immediately.

“matt,” you whisper, not even meaning to say it.

he stares at you for a second, seemingly forgetting any words he would have said for a second before holding up the bag.

“i brought waffles.”

—

“please let me in,” he says breathlessly, as if he was holding his breath waiting for you to open the door. “i know i probably don’t deserve a chance, and you probably don’t wanna hear me out, but…but please,” he licks his lips, grip tightening on the stems of the flowers, (you didn’t think he was listening when you told him your favourites all those months ago) “i miss you,” it’s quiet, the way he says it. he’s pleading with you.

there’s an ache in your chest, you’re trying not to mistake his tenderness for pity. and yet you still find yourself letting him in.

“okay,” it takes so little convincing. you missed him too.

there’s little talking at first, mostly just you and matt grabbing plates down and dishing yourselves out. he went to your favourite diner, because of course he did. the waffles are still warm and are making your kitchen smells like butter and sausage. you move your books and laptop out of the way to make room for the two of you to sit, elbows touching when you start to eat.

you’re half way through your first waffle when matt speaks up. you could feel him staring, his body half turned towards you in his chair. some of your hair falls into your face and his finger twitches before you tuck it away. all he wants to do it touch you. hold you, kiss you, anything. he’s such a jerk.

“i’m sorry,”

you freeze for a second, still facing away from him. after you finish chewing you set your fork down and turn slowly, finally looking him in the eyes. the blue has grown a shade too dark, melancholic.

“for what?” you ask stupidly, just needing to know how he’s felt about it all.

“fuck, everything?” he says, forcefully pushing his hair away from his eyes.

you shake your head and turn back to your plate.

“y/n,” he sighs, “c’mon look at me,”

you do, but it hurts.

“i’m sorry for what happened at the restaurant, and i’m sorry things got so out of hand and–and that…this went on for so long,” he gestures between the two of you, fixing his wild hair again.

“this?” you ask, voice breaking, thinking the worst, that he regrets it all, that it’s over. it’s really over.

“this stupid fucking dance we’ve been doing for four months, it’s crazy. it was always crazy.”

you huff, probably a little bit too dramatically as you shift to face him fully, “matt, what are you saying?”

“i’m saying that i like you! and it was so stupid to fucking…dilute that becuase i was scared or some shit,” the latter end of his sentence loses volume, he’s getting shy again.

“but–but you just wanted to be casual–” you start, looking down at your crossed legs.

“no, i never wanted to be fucking casual, i was just…. fuck i was just scared.” he says around a mouthful of waffle. the air smells like syrup.

“i wanna be with you all the time, i like you so much– i just– at first i didn’t want things to be weird between us, which is why i thought a relationship was the wrong idea, but then we started…doing relationship things and it only got better.” he starts, messing with his hair and pushing his food around his plate, “after i stopped being so afraid of that i just, i got scared of another thing,” he finally looks up at you, eyes a little sad, a little heavy.

you can tell that he knows how he’s made you feel, and despite that you hate that he’s sad. you never want him to be sad.

matt continues, “i’d hate for you to get hurt because of my fans, and i knew it was gonna be hard to keep things private, to keep things…ours. i thought that was something i didn't wanna do or i wasn't ready for but…” he sighs, cutting himself off and taking in another big breath. you want to reach out and rub his back, knowing he’s anxious and just trying to calm himself down.

“you being mad at me i can deal with,” he starts again, “you being mad, or–or upset because of me, is harder to handle, but fuck, not having you at all? that's worse than anything else we’d have to face,” he looks up, dead into your eyes to make sure you understand the weight of what he’s about to say, “together.”

“matt…” you whisper. you’ve forgotten about the food. it’s getting cold but it doesn’t matter.

he shakes his head before meeting your eyes again, “i’d rather go through all that bullshit with you than go through nothing without you,” he sounds so sincere that you think your heart skips a beat.

“what are you—”

“i wanna do this. for real.” he nods once, watching you closely.

“do you mean that?” he hates how doubtful you sound and he hates that he’s the one to have put all that doubt there. he thinks you might cry.

“y–yeah of course i mean it. i should have said it a long time ago, and if it makes you feel any better nick’s been giving me shit for like, two months, and i think chris wanted to beat me up last week.” he offers you half a smile, hoping you’ll give one back.

instead you breathe out laugh. he basks in it.

“i want you to be my girlfriend,” you’re looking down again and your hair falls from it’s place behind your ear. he doesn’t stop himself this time, nimble, ring adorned finger pushing it back, “i wanna be your boyfriend,”

you look up at him, studying his face for a second before you speak. he looks tired and a little worn, like he’s been thinking too much and too hard and worrying even more.

“yeah?” you finally say.

matt smiles at you. he has such a pretty smile.

“yeah.” he nods, smiling now.

“so we’re not just casual?”

matt scoffs out a laugh and stands. you stand too and he wraps his arms around you, tucking his chin atop your head when your arms go over his shoulders. he kisses your hair and breathes you in, the lingering scent of your shampoo and your perfume and you. it’s all over his clothes and his sheets, but nothing beats having you in his arms again.

“we were never just causal,” he assures you, as if you didn’t know.

tags ! @st4rswrld @urfavvev3lyn @mattsturnioloarchive @averysbestyears @its-jennarose @strnilolo @cherrypostsposts

also tagging some of my faves (writers & other creators!!) 🥹 @pettydollie @wcters @grimholic @floristmatt (if you don’t wanna be tagged lmk!!)

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo fic #matt sturniolo blurb #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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guaaa-camole · 2 years

Text

has anyone done it yet?

#the sandman #matthew #matthew the raven #dream of the endless #morpheus #memes #the sandman spoilers #1k #2k #3k #5k

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imwetforyourmom · 20 days

Text

yours

summary: you’re his and apparently needed reminded of it

warnings: SMUTTY SMUT, slight degrading, rough, enemies with benefits, swearing, teasing, kissing, rough dom!matt sub!reader, hella jealous matt, ASSUME YOU’RE ON THE PILL!!!

I came up with this idea while in the bath (and wrote majority of it in the bath) 🤭🤭

matt stared y/n down, his arms crossed with a red solo cup hanging loosley in his hand. the blasting music pouring into his ears, from the speakers placed all around the home to give off better vibes for the party.

the purple neon lights flashing onto matt, but most importantly, the scene playing infront of him.

there y/n danced, or grinded, may I say. there she was, grinding on some guy. the guy sure as hell was enjoying the way some girl looked pleasuring herself on him.

especially when she slightly moved onto his clothed dick really got to him, the friction sending blood to his dick. he leant down to y/ns ear and mumbled dirty talk into her ear, such as “cant wait to watch you move like this in bed, baby.” and “fuck, move any farther and I will not hesitate to bend you over and fuck you dumb.”

matt clenched his jaw and grinded his teeth, his eyes boring into where that guy and y/ns body met. sure y/n was his enemy, but hell, did this get to him.

he was supposed to be the only one pleasuring, touching in certain ways and saying dirty things to y/n. y/n is his. his to touch, his to fuck, his to pleasure and his to kiss.

not some random guy at a party.

chris walked up to matt whom was still staring at y/n and the strange guy, with a hated, disgusted and a twinge of jealousness look on his face.

he glanced at matt, his eyes scanning his facial expressions.

matts eyebrows were furrowed, his jaw clenched and his eyes filled with jealousy. jealousy and a swarming fire of anger.

chris scoffed and turned back to look at the pair grinding.

he leaned closer to matt and mumbled “you really gonna let him touch all up on your girl like that?” those words was the last thing he needed, they ignited the building fire in his stomach. all he needed was the words. despite knowing y/n wasnt his and quite the opposite.

“no.” matt answered harshly, he pushed his cup into chris’ chest and walked off to y/n and the man.

he grabbed y/ns wrist and dragged her elsewhere.

he pulled her with him, ignoring her whines and demands of where they’re going.

he pulled her into a bathroom and shut the door behind them, he pressed her against the door and slowly began leaving hot and open mouth kisses down her jaw and neck, easing to her throat.

“what the fuck were you doing with that guy? hm?” he mumbled, leaving her skin for only a moment to speak before returning quickly.

“d- dancing, matt. we were dancing.” she replied, her head leaning backwards as much as she could with the door being behind her and pressed up against her.

“dancing? that didnt look like dancing, y/n. dont lie.” he spoke, his voice stern, the anger and jealousy boiling in his veins seething through his voice.

“I was dancing.. we were dancing.” “I dont understand why you’re so upset about it.” she quickly dismissed her earlier lie.

he sucked on her neck skin harshly, before pulling away and mumbling against her skin. “because im only supposed to talk to you like that, to touch you like that, to eye fuck you like that.” his hot breath fanning her neck, sending goosebumps all across her skin.

“matt, we hate eachother and just so happen to fuck occasionally, you’re not the only one who can give me pleasure.” she answered, rolling her eyes. her eyes widened quickly, she bit her lip, scared of what was to happen next, after realizing what she’d just said and how matt could take it.

matt chuckled and bit on her skin, not harshly but hard enough for a warning.

“yeah? you think he could fuck you better than me?” matt whispered, his hand trailing from her hip to the door, he slowly slid it to the door handle and locked the door.

y/n visibly gulped, her cheeks going a shade of pink and her fingers slowly crept to matts head, lacing them inbetween the brunette strands. completely ignoring his previous sentence.

matts mouth trailed up to her ear, his breath hot on her face, he whispered “answer me. do you think that guy can fuck you better?” he trailed his lips from her ear back down to her neck, awaiting her answer he sucked the skin of her collarbone.

“what would you do if I say yes?” y/n mocked, her voice drawing out in a seductive yet teasing way.

matts mouth immediately found a spot on her neck and bit down harshly. y/n winced and squeezed her eyes shut. his tongue swirled around the skin as he sucked.

he pulled away and whispered into her ear, “i’d fuck you until you’re screaming that im better.. and even then, I might not even stop.”

the words sent shivers down her spine, more so to her core. she knew no one could and no one would replace matt, matt was a fucking god at sex. no one fucked her better.

deciding she wanted to be fucked dumb, she bit her lip and very quickly said “hes better. I think he’d fuck better.” she screwed her eyes shut and took in a sharp breath.

with that matt attached his lips to hers in an aggressive kiss, teeth clashing and tongues colliding.

matts hands moved to the hem of her shirt, he tugged it up her body, he disconnected their lips and pulled both her shirt and his off.

he looked down at her chest, covered by that fucking bra he despised so much. he wanted to see her, not that stupid bra stopping him from seeing her. he groaned and unclasped it, wanting to see more of her. the parts he desired.

once her tits spillt from her bra he immediately attatched his mouth to her nipple, his other hand fiddling with her other nipple, causing y/n to gasp from the sudden warmth and wetness on her.

“god you’re gorgeous” he mumbled against her skin.

he sucked and twirled his tongue around the bud, before switching nipples and repeating his previous actions.

y/n gasped, her mouth falling open and her eyes closing.

he trailed his kisses from her breasts, to her collarbone and neck. he sucked and swirled his tongue around her skin, sure to leave marks for later.

“‘m gonna mark you up, show everyone whats mine” matt muttered against her skin, sucking deep and harshly.

y/ns hand traveled to the nape of his neck, playing with his hair. lightly tugging and twirling the hair.

he continued his actions all over her neck, collarbone and shoulders. so many hickies everywhere it’d be nearly impossible to not see them. her skin was a deep shade of purple almost all over.

y/ns hands moved away from his hair and moved to his pants, in which she fiddled with the belt.

he grabbed her wrists and stopped her, halting her movements and moving her wrists to above her head, pinning them there.

“ah-ah-ah.. be patient, my love. I cant rush, I want to show you how no one’ll be better than me, hm?” he whispered into her ear. his voice deep and heavily seductive, lust dripping from his words.

he placed his head in the crook of her neck, his hand going down agonizingly slowly to his pants. unbuckling the belt extra slow just to fuck with her.

he pulled his belt off, then his jeans and boxers. his erection slapping his stomach.

he ran his hands up and down y/ns body, before slipping his fingers into the waistband of her skirt, pulling down ever so slowly.

“cmon, matt.. please” she whispered, her voice faltering with lust.

“please what? be specific, sweetheart.” he mumbled. he knew for a fact what she needed, but wheres the fun in just giving it to her?

“matt, please fuck me, please please” she whined. her needs becoming her top priority in the moment.

matt wasnt quite expecting to be begged to. but, damn, could he get used to it.

he kissed her neck before pulling down her skirt and panties altogether, he ran his fingers through her folds, feeling her wetness.

“so wet for me already baby, ive barely even touched you.” he hummed against her neck, letting go of her wrists he grabbed the back of her thighs, lifting her up and placing them on his hips, giving him better access to her entrance.

he ran his tip though her slick, collecting her arousal and using it as lubricant. he slowly pushed his tip in her entrance, then the rest of his cock. sending a burning sensation throughout y/ns body, her walls moulding to the shape of matts dick.

he slowly began pumping in and out of her, his hips finding the desired pace, as of right now. he definitely planned on plowing into her in a moment.. but he needs to be slow and sensual for a second.

he pushed in, then slowly pulled out almost all the way, making y/n feel every inch of him moving inside her.

he took in a breath, kissed her neck then slammed back in, pulling out quickly and slamming back in. taking y/n by surprise, she screamed and gasped. her hands flying to his back. holding them there she dug her nails into the skin, leaving red crescent moon shapes.

“fuck, fuck fuck!” she moaned, her mouth falling open as moans and whimpers slipped from her lips.

matt kept his head in the crook of her neck, finding stabilization there since his hands were busy holding her thighs on his hips, ensuring they’d stay there since he was going incredibly fast inside her.

she screwed her eyes shut and bit her lip incredibly hard, the familiar taste of metallic filling her mouth.

“take it. take it like the slut you are.” he grumbled, his voice low as he focused on driving his hips into hers.

“hmghh- matt, fuckk” she moaned, her voice shaky and hoarse. a tightening in her stomach began forming and tightening within each passing second.

“‘m close!” she spoke, her voice as loud as it possibly could be, in which it wasnt very loud, barely above a whisper.

“mm, cum all over my cock, baby,” he grunted. his voice breathy, he grunted almost every two seconds. slamming inside her would knock the breath out of him, he could only wonder what she was experiencing.

its not like he could look at how fucked out she looked anyways. he kept his head in the crook of her neck, needing to stabilize himself.

y/n let out a scream as her orgasm hit her like a fucking truck. white specks filling her vision, an ache spreading throughout her head and a ringing in her ears.

matt continued thrusting roughly into her, riding her through her high and chasing his own climax.. but its not like he didnt already plan on making her cum more than once tonight.

“matt, matt! too much, too much!” the sensitivity becoming too much for her.

“you should’ve thought about that before grinding on that guy, huh?” he grumbled, just thinking about what she’d done earlier made him even more pissed, causing him to pound even more ruthlessly into her.

“please, matt- ngh-“ she cut herself off with a scream. ultimately she gave up on speaking, her mouth opening to say something but her voice no longer being there. her mind blank and only focusing on the pleasure.

her eyes rolled back as whimpers slipped from her lips, she was so fucked out.

matt pulled away from her neck from the sudden change of no screaming and loud moans. he was met with y/n, a very fucked out y/n. her hair a mess, her mascara staining down her cheeks and a thin layer of sweat coating her body.

he chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, then whispering into her ear, “remind me who you belong to?”

y/n heard him, but also didnt. all she could focus on was the mass amounts of pleasure she was feeling.

“fucked ya dumb, didnt i?” matt smirked to himself, “cmon baby, answer me. who do you belong to? hm?” he asked again, this time his voice slightly louder.

y/n moaned, before answering in a quiet voice “you. im yours” one of her hands slid from his shoulder to the back of her head, she pulled him in and closed the distance between them. kissing him so passionately as he plowed into her.

he groaned in the kiss, their lips smacking passionately against one another, sending waves butterflies into y/ns stomach.. or its the fact shes getting closer to another orgasm.

she clenched around his dick, taking matt by surprise as he maons.

her thighs shook, signaling to matt she was close since her mouth was occupied with his.

matt pulled away and put his face in the crook of her neck. “cum with me.” his sentence was kept short, way too focused on getting them to their highs.

“matt- I cant wait any longer” she moaned out, biting her lip to help herself.

“go ahead, im right behind you.” he groaned, his thrusts growing sloppy and his hips sputtering.

with that y/n came around his cock with a scream and a heavy breath. matt stopped his thrust deep inside her and shot his load, painting her walls white.

he took in deep and heavy breaths. he slowly pulled out of y/n, setting her legs down on the floor.

“you did so good for me, baby.” he mumbled, his voice soft spoken. he knelt down to help pull up her skirt for her and pick up her shirt and bra.

he clasped her bra on her and slipped her shirt on. her pulled his boxers and pants up, then put his shirt on, he quickly grabbed y/ns panties off the floor and put them in his back pocket.

he grabbed her a rag and wet it, then wiped her face free of any messed up makeup. then he fixed her hair some.

he brought her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her torso.

“you okay?” he asked, his chin resting on the top of her head. y/n replied with a quick “mhm”

as much as he ‘hated’ her, he still found it necessary to care for her after that hella rough experience.

he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head, “who fucks better?” he asked. his voice changing from soothing and relaxing to its normal stern and husk voice around her.

“you, matt. you.” she chuckled, before he nodded, “atta girl”

with that he left the bathroom and left her in there with their cum slowly dripping down her thighs and her legs wobbly and weak.

they entered the bathroom with romantic eyes for one another, and left with hatred for one another.

2609 words.