MBTI Type - Reflection/ What am I?
A few years back I was INFP aka Mediator - that was the first time I ever did Myers Briggs test, and to be perfectly honest, I hated it. I never really connected with that type and felt like there was something more to me than just being the idealistic introverted healer that always sought to help, understand and support.ย (no offense to all INFPs I like you, just not when I am you and you are I)
ย I wanted to improve, be better, no, be the BEST at everything. I was secretly competitive and a sore loser. I constantly felt the need to call out people, but held back, because once I decided to speak, I always ended up being ruder than needed.ย I wasnโt always on the same page as my friends so I stayed quiet, for the most part in hopes not to be asked anything that could bring out my argumentative side.ย
I did relate to what the Mediator description said, but felt like it wasnโt actually who I was, but rather what I had grown to be, ignoring my real aspirations/motivations.ย I renounced myself from INFP&MBTI and honestly forgot about it.ย
~
Three years later, (after I ended numerous toxic relationships and started caring more about my well-being than the well-being of others) I did the test again (out of boredom from staying at home and between studying sessions) and got something very very interesting - ENTJ-T - The Turbulent Commander.
Now that was a surprise, to say the least.ย
Extroverted (I was shocked, being an ambivert inclined to introversion, at the time)Natural-born leaders (Iโve always been more of a follower that wanted to speak up, but didnโtย find the courage to), perfectionists, and careerists that are always ready to help and find solutions to problems without being overly sympathetic.ย
You have a problem. I donโt weep with you or offer you a shoulder to cry on, I help you get through it, like the bad bitch you are. Crying is a waste of time. I still think that even when I do succumb to that action (mostly out of pent-up anger, rather than sadness)
To me, that was an eye-opening result. I loved every sentence in the description and felt like that was the person I deep down wanted to be, so I took ENTJ as my inner self - the sleeping beauty that had been lost while I was trying to find her way through the woods of other peoplesโ dreams, expectations and needs.ย
~
I thought it was the end of the saga. That was before I decided to research the whole MBTI community. (last week)
Before I explored the other Analyst Types - INTP, ENTP & INTJย
Damn it all.ย
I related so much to their separate characteristics and the worst part of it was that they were the exact ones that contradicted ENTJ.ย
I realized that I was an overly contradicting person - something that through research I found out was mostly an ENTP trait. Let me not even mention that I later discovered the same characteristics fit ENFP - the type of people I also ended up liking due to their dual nature. (Iโm a Libra and Iโd die if thatโs the reason Iโm so damn confused about everything) (obviously, I would not die, but I got to be dramatic first)
I am stubborn as hell - also INTJ, INTP.
I want to be the most successful person in numerous fields - canโt settle on one. Itโs the world I desire to be efficient and good at.ย - ENTP
Intelligent people MOTIVATE me, but also ANGER me because they might be better at a certain thing which fuels my competitiveness and my perfectionism - ENTP
Knowledge. Is. Power. And you canโt be powerful if youโre stupid. - INTJ
If you want to earn my respect, show me how well-read you are. - all of them, I thinkย
Sarcasm is my love language. - INTJ, INTP (probably other Analysts too)
I am constantly fighting the urge to control/dominate people, which is a very toxic trait, but is a part of me that I canโt and donโt want to suppress anymore.ย
I adore powerful women who, through perseverance and hard work, always come on TOP - ENTJ, Miranda Priestleyย simp
I either bust my ass or feel burnt out from thoughts of doing the work I am supposed to. - INTJ
Sometimes Iโm insecure just about everything I do since I was a straight A student in lower grades and didnโt really have to study to be good at some subject. In upper grades I ended up feeling like school was just a system that broke brains and mindsets, pushing us to study something we would not need further in life. - ENTP, ENTJย
After youโve read all of that, can you tell me what I am?
Help me get rid of the confusion so I can resume functioning normally rather than hyper-focusย on a subject, that would most likely distract me from having to improve myself in other fields.
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a dream is a wish ur heart makes!
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leo โ | aries โพ | cancer โ
FREE PALESTINE!!!
hi angel. ๐ผ๐ผโก i am liana, twenty-one, she/her, enfp!! ^^ i am an applied psychology major at uni. ๐ some of my interests include shopping, reading fanfiction & dark romance, roleplaying, learning yummy recipes, collecting pink objects, playing dreamlight valley, watching anime, bollywood movies, k-dramas, and horror. โก i am also a huge fangirl & love simping on fictional men hehe. โก
my hubbies ๐ซถ๐ผ โ nate jacobs, eren jaeger, katsuki bakugo, coriolanus snow, zade meadows, eric coulter, tom riddle, jared trent, rafe cameron โก
my links โก
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12.06.2023
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The Bane of my Existence as a INFP
I have no problem in being creative, it's as easy as breathing. I can have a plethora of ideas, thoughts, creativity, insipiration, and imagination. My brain is an endless suply of connections and projects. I can have a perfect vision of a project I wish to create. I can have a perfectly written esay, book or novel in my mind, and yet...
I don't do any of it. I imagine myself doing it and feeling the satisfaction, but I just don't it. That's the bane of my existence. I don't really know why. Am I too lazy? My heart is not really on it? Am I afraid of not being perfect? Is it self doubt? Impostor syndrome? Am I afraid of being criticized? Is there a barrier between my mind and actions? Why am I blocked like that? It's tragic because I could do so much for myself and others, but I feel so paralyzed. I guess that's the obstacule INFP's have to face and fight. After all inferior Te is the bane of our existence, our weakness. The function we need to integrate to be complete. But it's a struggle.
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The long overdue why TOA Apollo is an enfp analysis for @fearlessinger
(I'm going to preemptively say: If anyone has a different opinion please make a new post instead of in my comments XD )
I'm going to explain using the functions. There are eight functions total: Fi, Fe, Ti, Te, Ni, Ne, Si, Se.
And each mbti type will use 4 of these 8 functions. The order the functions are in determines their type.ย The first function(dominant function) is used the most, the second is also commonly used, the third is more subconsciously used and the fourth is inferior function which is not as developed and tend to be used in times of crisis as a last resort.
Functions are basically types of thought processes and associated behaviors. And it's only possible to have one of each type of F, T, S, N with extroversion or introversion classification.ย
Hence it would be impossible for a person to have both Fi and Fe.ย
I won't go into too much detail on this so if you guys are interested you can look at the link at the end of this post for more details.
But anyways, here we will take a look at the functions and decide what Apollo is.ย
How much the traits of each function show through depends on their ranking in the 4 stack. Higher ranked functions tend to be used more etc etc.ย
Lets start: Te vs Fe.ย
Fe people tend to value the group and the emotional wellbeing of others. They also care about fitting in and belonging to the group. "how does the group feel about this?"ย
Te people value the group but from a productivity and practical wellbeing standpoint. They care about getting things done effectively.ย
A very basic example, if deciding if the population should be waiting at a traffic light for a time or have the option to speed past it but crying and sobbing for 1 minute. A Fe person might lean towards letting everyone wait but the Te person might lean towards letting everyone speed through. This is because Fe is considering the emotional state while Te is considering the time wasted from the person's life.ย
You might be inclined to say then Apollo should be Fe! He cares about his friends! But I'll actually argue he does not have Fe. Recall that a person can only have either Fi or Fe.
Fi people tend to have aย personal moral system that is very tied to their sense of self, and a desire to figure out who they are and what they believe in, and where they belong. You can argue that all people do this, but I'll say Fi havers definitely does this way more than average. Especially if the Fi is first or second in the function stack. Fe sees identity as something that is part of you, "I am what I am".ย
They will never have the thought of "oh i did xyz but that's not really me" Fe will consider that since they did it, it is them.ย
Apollo is a strong Fi. He values his identity a lot. During TOA, he struggles with his identity after losing what he thinks makes him, well, him. Hence you can see his original concept of his identity was tied to what he could do as a god, and his beauty and powers. Once he lost that, he lost his sense of self. This is devastating for a Fi because their identity is heavily tied with their moral system. Fi make decisions based on their moral compass that they created over their lifetime. This allows them to quickly make decisions based on it in times of crisis. They may say "I FEEL xyz" but the feeling they speak of is generated through their moral system.ย
Outside input -> Moral system + identity -> feeling - > decision - > action.ย
An older, experienced Fi user will be able to sense what they are feeling and make quick decisions based on it, and leave the analysis part to their databank of past judgements. However, on the outside this can look rash and like they are making decisions based on emotions (which is true. But there's more to it!)ย
Apollo lost his sense of self and had to start from scratch. This makes him begin to doubt his morals and past judgements, because they were all part of his old self, and that's now gone. Now how can he make the "right" decision? He no longer knows what is right. He has deluded himself that his choices were right for so long, that once his self is shattered and he is rebuilding his identity from scratch, his entire world tilts. Key word here is delude, he probably already had a sense he was doing something wrong but he ignored it and kept using the old pathways of thought he made to arrive at conclusions. Now that its like this:
Outside input -> ?????? -> feeling - > decision - > action.
ย
It leaves him in constant doubt about his present and past self.ย
So yeah, Fi.ย
And Fi users must have Te, so Te as well. But I argue his Te is lower than Fi and not that noticable.ย
Now, we move to Ne vs Ni.ย
Ne and Ni are two different ways of thinking and connecting things.
Ne connects thoughts in a spiderweb like pattern and hence has seemingly random jumps and connections. (The grass is green, my shirt is green too and oh, my shirt is from california, and I think california has great icecream and now we are talking about icecream.) Ne tend to derail conversations with their explorations.ย
Meanwhile, Ni tend to think more linearly on one topic and discuss it to the end. Their thoughts are more like a graph form where they explore along the line. (the grass is green and it is very lush and beautiful. It grows well in the summer etc etc) Notice we are still talking about grass
Apollo's narration is a classic Ne style narration where you see him talk about traveling with Meg and the next thing he's telling you what happened in Egypt 50 A.D.
So now we know he has, Ne, Fi, Te.ย
We just need to figure out whether he has Si or Se.ย
Si is focused on memories and familiar things. They like consistency and patterns.
Se is focused on experiences and physical sensation. They like to explore new things and go out.ย
However since these aren't as obvious, I will first narrow down the possible types.ย
Mbti with Fi, Ne, Te are:ย
ESTJ, ISTJ
ENFP, INFP
And since these types don't have Se, we know he has Si.ย
We can rule out ESTJ and ISTJ because Fi is not as prominent , and are more Te based (see image).ย
Apollo bases his decisions on his heart (Fi) more than rules and traditions (Si) or productivity (Te).
This means his Fi is either first or second. Which means he's either INFP or ENFP.ย
And now it's an easy choice because INFP is an introvert.ย
And Apollo is justโฆ extroverted, he loves being around people, he gains energy around them. He loves meeting new folks. (I can promise you as an INFP, I do not feel this ajjfjsksksk)ย
Hence.ย
Apollo is ENFP! A type who follows their heart, is passionate about their interests, loves learning and exploring new things, and curious.
As well, in regards to his Si as his last function (also called the inferior function) . When people are in times of extreme stress, they can sometimes fall back and unhealthily overuse their last function. For example, for Enfps they will go into "Si grip" and begin to have tunnel vision and overanalyze their past mistakes, try to make little detail perfect, project previous bad experiences onto the future, become isolated and withdrawnโฆย
Does this sound familiar and like a certain sun god during TOAโฆ?ย
Other enfps in fiction, that kinda have traits similar to Apollo: c!Tommy, Steven Universe. (I know ppl say steven is ESFJ but I'll maintain he's enfp based on functions)ย
And if you want a well written, deeper read into Enfp functions:
Go here
Also these images:
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