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#mental trauma
villiedoom · 3 months
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/From all the vulnerability that made me bleed May a forest of thorns grow From the tears of a destroyed child Into the beast of destruction/
Personal art of my character Ren. Looks like he has taken root in my art, bringing me inspiration full of emotion and of both vulnerability and burning anger ~
Please do not copy or use
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getmecakeordeath · 9 months
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For those who self h@rm by cvtting, here’s some tips for taking care of yourself from someone whos being doing it for 10+ years
•It’s okay, don’t think any less of yourself for relapsing. It happens and its okay. No one ever tells you that its okay.
•Invest in a person first aid kit, I’m a first responder so I’ve always been stocked up. You should make sure your kit has the following:
• sterile cleansing wipes (you can never have enough of these)
•Conforming bandages (you’ll need this for bigger cuts to help keep the gauze secure
•Microporous Tape
•Different size wound dressings
•Plasters of all different sizes (fabric ones work best I find)
•Kitchen roll (I know that sounds strange but it helps to stop the bleeding, where as tissue just falls to bits)
•Some wound closure stitches (butterfly stitches)
•Wash your hands properly before you cvt, it will help keep you safe okay
•Whatever your going to cvt with make sure you give it a good clean with a sterile wipe, I got some nasty infections from not doing this when I was young.
•After you have had your ‘session’ (at least that’s what I call mine) make sure that you treat your wound properly:
•Hold the kitchen roll to your wound until it stops bleeding.
•Clean the area with the sterile wipes thoroughly
•If it is small enough for a plaster then out that on there
•If not use the wound dressings, measure up to the wound ensuring that there is a good finger width between the edge of the cut and the end of the dressing
•Use the tape to secure it into place
•Hold one end of the bandage away from the wound before you start wrapping it (so you have something to tie it off with)
•Don’t wrap it too tight or it will be uncomfortable and you’ll want to take it off
•Change the bandage or plaster every day at least once (I know that it’s hard but if you don’t it might cause an infection)
•If you cvt too deep, it happens it’s okay I’ve been there, push firmly against the wound with a tea towel or any fabric you can get. If the blud is pouring out I’m going to need you to hold it against you wound as hard as you can and then a little harder. Call you Emergencey service number (999, 911 etc) they will talk you though what you have to do and get you help.
•Dispose of any blades you use, don’t use them twice it WILL cause an infection that can get into your blood. I bought pencil sharpeners on Amazon for very cheap. One use only okay? You don’t want to get sick over it.
•If you want to help your scars become less visible use Bio Oil I think that it works the best and really helped me with the ones on my arms.
•There are things that can help you with your urges or relapses.
•Some helpful apps that I would recommend are:
•StayAlive (I have had this on my phone for many years now and it has saved my life
It has saved my life on many occasions and if you find that you are in need of die help, you can show it to the emergency services and they will help you okay. We are trained in this.
•Harm less (It gives you motivational things whenever you open it, it’s 100% customisable and it can help you keep track of your relapses)
•Its okay to relapse, I’ve been though it many times, I recently just relapsed acted a 250+ day gap. Its okay and no one says it enough. You haven’t let anyone down, no one is disappointed in you, your okay.
Just some tips I’ve learnt over time, it’s going to be okay
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zeiniszein · 1 year
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My heart goes for whumpees that dont have any mental trauma from their captivity ( either they have overcome it or they weren't effected in the first place) , but know that the physical impact of it never go away. Their hands will forever shake cause their fingers and wrists have been broken one too many times, they cannot walk without a cane cause their bones didn't heal right after they were crushed and they will never be able to take a breath without feeling a burn in their chest, cause their lungs had once been punctured with their broken ribs.
Just ... whumpees who overcome the mental aspects of their trauma but not the physical ones>>>
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acourtofladydeath · 3 months
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TTBW Chapter 2
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Cassian's healing journey beings, and Emerie tells her story.
New tags include discussions of cycle/period discrimination.
Start reading under the cut or on AO3!
Tensions were high outside Cassian and Nesta’s room at the House of Wind. Emerie, Azriel, and Rhysand had been sitting in the hall over a day as Madja and a team of her best healers worked on their friend’s mangled wings. Nesta refused to leave his side. Madja allowed her to stay in the room only as long as Nesta agreed to follow all instructions and stay out of the way, which she had. There was no time to fill anyone in on his status. While the camp lords had not intended to kill Cassian, the combination of the paralytic, faebane, and the shock to his system from trauma and blood loss had caused his body to shut down quickly. 
Rhysand had never seen Madja call for so many extra healers. Typically she brought along an apprentice or two to train. On particularly bad occasions, like after the King of Hybern had shredded Cassian’s wings and Azriel had been stabbed by Jurian, he and Morrigan had lent a hand. Madja called for six additional highly trained hands, and specifically refused the help of any apprentices or the Inner Circle. Such a thing was unheard of. 
As they waited, Emerie leaned against the wall, arms folded and one leg kicked back. Rhysand had slid down the wall several hours ago. Now his legs were bent up to his chest, elbows rested on his knees, and his head hung heavy in his hands. Azriel stood rigid by the window, unable to break his stare from Cassian’s door. Emerie watched him flex his hands and knew what ran through his mind. She knew what he must be reliving after what Cassian had endured because she was reliving it too. Their scars ran deep.
Loss, damage, physical, mental, and emotional pain that no amount of training could prepare anyone to live through. This was trauma in its purest form, and Cassian was not the only one injured. Emerie shut her eyes tight as she tried to push away the memories that had threatened to consume her from the moment Nesta had recognized the agony in Cassian’s wings through their bond the night before. The images and phantom pains that Emerie still fought back daily had only gotten stronger after what she’d witnessed in that tent.   
Hours later the door to Cassian’s room opened and Madja, exhausted and flecked in more blood than anyone was comfortable acknowledging, entered the hallway. Rhysand was instantly on his feet. Azriel remained still, but Emerie took a step off the wall, arms still crossed and wings held in tightly to stave off the pains. Rhysand quickly approached the healer, expectation written across the wrought lines of his face.
Madja stared down at the floor. This healer, a female whose skills went beyond all others, one of the only people in all of Prythian who could order the High Lord around, could not meet his eyes. Rhysand’s eyes bore down on her. Emerie tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, tried to remember that he was in pain, but she did not like the way he looked upon his master healer. 
With a deep breath, Madja raised her head and squared her shoulders to address Rhysand. Her face was schooled in a practiced calm as she began to speak with a steady voice. “We have stopped the blood loss, and managed to prevent amputation. His organs were shutting down and we almost lost him, but I am now sure that physically he will survive this.” 
“His wings,” Rhysand cut in, voice hoarse from lack of use and water. As he continued to speak his tone was harsh as he asked the question Emerie already knew the answer to. “Will he fly again?”
“No,” Madja said, voice firm and sure though it sounded like she did not want to be. “His wings were too damaged and there was noth-”
“You have to do something. He can’t not fly,” Rhysand said, voice rushed and angry as he took one step toward the healer. “He has to fly, Madja. You have to do something. His wings have been bad before, and you’ve always fixed him.” 
Emerie watched as some small part of the healer permanently broke, and she stepped forward to try and prevent the crack from growing further. “Thank you, Madja, for saving his life. We are so thankful. Is there anything that you need us to do?” 
Madja looked gratefully at Emerie for a brief moment before she responded. “No, thank you dear. Nesta has all the instructions and we will visit again soon. He needs rest before we work again.” 
Emerie smiled warmly at the female as she kindly nodded her response. Madja ushered the healers, all in various states of dishevelment, out of Nesta and Cassian’s room before they left the House of Wind together as one with Morrigan as their guide. Em watched them leave as she used her body to create a barrier between the healers and the High Lord. Azriel still had not moved from where he stood, eyes locked on the door that was once again shut. When they had gone and she was certain they were out of ear shot, Emerie turned angrily upon the males behind her. 
“Are you proud of yourself,” Emerie spat at the High Lord, who was still fuming mad about the now undeniable fact that his friend would no longer be able to fly. 
“I’ve done nothing wrong,” Rhysand retorted as anger rolled off of him in dark waves. 
Emerie cocked an eyebrow at the High Lord, her hands on her hips. “Oh yeah? Nothing wrong? You do know that your words have an effect on people, correct? You had no right to guilt her like that.” 
“I did no such thing. I simply asked-”
“No,” Emerie said back. She wanted to shout, but she knew that Cassian and Nesta did not need to hear this right now. To try and preserve their peace, Emerie worked to keep her voice low, yet strong. “By bringing up the past times she was successful, you just confirmed to Madja that you believe this was likely her biggest failure to date. And it’s not. There’s no way to recover from the wounds he received. He’s lucky to be alive right now.” 
Continue reading on AO3.
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anonymousonlyplease · 1 month
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home.
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up-sideand-down · 6 months
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Day 5: In a Soldier Retirement facility…Sephiroth navigates the power his memories hold over him still.
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Me: *going through all my favorite villains* Mental illness, mental trauma, mental illness, mental trauma, mental illness AND mental trauma…
Me: …
Me:…I think I figured out why I relate to villains so much…
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dearjewels22 · 10 months
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Just because you’ve survived something doesn’t mean you didn’t experience damage.
-Sarah Jakes Roberts
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e-ski-mo · 11 months
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Does it ever exert you when someone is so hypocritical that it's almost like they have zero remembrance of things they did or said whatsoever?
Like their manipulation is at such a magnitude that they think everyone is stupid enough to not know that they don't genuinely mean something. Could you imagine calling them out and they absolutely deny that they ever said something like that?
Does it feel like the only important person is them. They manipulate and restrain everyone in such a way that every decision revolves around them and anything that's not the way they want it would lead to extremely horrendous consequences. You tend to lose your originality, your personality is a shadow that seeks their approval. When you're alone you forget what you were like before you met them. Even worse if it's someone you've known so closely since birth.
If you do, I empathize with you. I understand exactly how you feel. Fortunately you can help yourself out of these dire situations and take control of your life. I'd say start with establishing boundaries and limiting contact with the person. Once you find yourself alone let your thoughts flow, never stop them, don't think about the consequences. Channelize your negative energy to do something for yourself. When you're around the person practice saying no and keep yourself busy with things that doesn't involve them. You do not have to be rude. You just need the right words that would hold their tongue.
Lastly, it's going to be okay. Always believe in and be there for yourself
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acourtofladydeath · 4 months
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TTBW Chapter 1
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Chapter 1 of TTBW has now been posted to AO3. Please make sure you read all tags with every chapter of this fic that is posted. I will be updating as I go. Read the beginning before the cut, and the entire chapter here!
Nyx shrieked joyfully in his uncle’s grasp as Cassian banked to the right. The wind caught both their wings, Nyx’s still so small and delicate as they flew. Cassian held his nephew tightly around the waist as he tried to get the mischievous four year old to get used to the feeling of the air as it rushed past the diaphanous structures still developing within his wings. 
As they leveled out, Nyx’s wings went limp and he clapped his hands together, “Uncle Cassie again, again!” Cassian chuckled softly to himself as he looked out over the waters next to the River House where he held his flying lessons with Nyx. 
“Okay little pyxie, but you’ve gotta hold your wings out for me! Big and strong, like we talked about.” Cassian could feel as Nyx held his breath and braced his wings out from his tiny body. Nyx’s wings were still so small they barely went past the breadth of Cassian’s shoulders. “Look I’m doing it!!” Nyx shouted back at him. As he peered over his little shoulder the young male’s violet eyes shined with excitement at his achievement. Cassian could barely hold back his own tears as pride rushed through his body. He choked back his emotion as he spoke encouragingly to his nephew.
“You’re doing it big guy!” Cassian made sure they were close enough to the shore that the rest of the family could see Nyx’s achievement before he prepared to bank again. “Alright Nyx, think you can hold them steady for this turn?” 
“I’m a big boy! I can do it.” The determination in Nyx’s voice sent another burst of emotion through Cassian as prepared to bank. “Okay, on the count of three buddy. One… two… three!” 
Cassian softly curved above the shore and Nyx’s wings stayed stretched wide through the entire turn. Nesta, Azriel, Rhysand, and Feyre all cheered from the shore as the pair flew by. Once they were out of the turn Cassian landed, he turned his nephew in his arms to face him.
“I did it! I did it!” Nyx shouted and raised his still plump little fists in the air in celebration. 
Cassian held him in one arm as he also fist pumped the air in celebration and laughed along with his nephew. “You did such a good job Nyx!” 
When Nyx had calmed slightly, Cassian knelt and placed the little male on the ground to stand before him. Nyx looked intently into his uncle’s eyes as Cassian placed one hand on his shoulder. “Now, remember what we talked about. Your wings are still growing. They’re not as strong as mine or your dad’s or Uncle Az’s yet.” 
Nyx looked at his uncle intently as he spoke, but chimed in “or mommy’s right? She has wings too! But not all the time, like daddy. She can put them away. But I can’t.” 
Cassian smiled at his nephew, the intuitive little bugger. “That’s right. Your mom and dad have different wings. But you and I can’t take our wings off and we can’t put them away. What does that mean Nyx?” 
Nyx looked seriously back at Cassian, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “It means I have to be extra super careful not to hurt them. They’re my wings and no one else's and I only get one pair so I have to take care of them.” 
“Yes, exactly bud, great job. What else do you have to remember about your wings?” Cassian smiled encouragingly at Nyx to continue.
The little male responded with sincerity, eyes and nose still scrunched tight. “That no one else can touch them unless they ask and I say it’s okay, and I should only say it’s okay if I know them extra super well like you or Uncle Azzie.” 
Cassian nodded. “That’s right, little pyxie. You did a great job today, you know that?” 
A huge grin spread across Nyx’s entire face at his uncle’s compliment. He responded eagerly as he excitedly bounced on the balls of his feet. “Does that mean I get to fly all by my own next time?” 
Cassian chuckled as he responded. “Not so fast, big guy. Before our next lesson I want you to work on your wing flaps for me. We need to make sure your muscles are big and strong so they can support you without my help okay?” 
Nyx looked down at his feet, a defeated look on his face leaving his bottom lip slightly wobbly. Cassian used his free hand to tilt his nephew’s gaze back up to meet his. “Hey, don’t get upset. You’re doing so well! Only a few more lessons okay? And then you and I can fly over the river together but separate, I promise.” 
The young boy, so small and new to life, perked up a bit at that as he responded. “You’ll take me first right? Don’t tell my dad but your lessons are my favorite. I want to fly together but separate with you first.” 
Those damn emotions hit Cassian again at his nephew’s words and he swallowed back more tears. “I promise Nyx, the first time you’re ready to fly without one of us holding you, I’ll be the one to take you.” 
Nyx rushed forward and hugged his uncle, arms wrapped so tightly around Cassian’s neck he could barely breathe. But he’d never stop Nyx from embracing him like this, not in a million years. Once the tiny bat let go, he raced off to tell his mom and Auntie Ness all about how well he did in his flying lesson. Cassian stood and brushed off his knees as his brothers approached. 
“Well, that went well,” Rhysand said as he stood next to his Cassian with a proud smile on his face. 
“He’s doing so well, Rhys. I don’t know many younglings that can fly as strongly as he is at that age.” Cassian stared off after his nephew as he raced into Nesta’s arms. His mate scooped Nyx up into her grasp with ease and twirled him around as pride shone across her features. 
Rhysand watched where Cassian’s gaze fell and joined his soft reverie as Feyre hugged her arms around Nesta, which left Nyx sandwiched between the sisters and showered in love. Azriel, ever the serious brother, cut into the soft moment. 
“Cass, we wanted to talk to you about tomorrow.” Rhysand raised his eyebrows and looked over toward their brother, already masked in nervous shadows. “Way to really bury the lead Az,” before he looked toward Cassian, a look of sincerity on his face, “but he’s not wrong Cass.” 
Cassian crossed his arms over his chest as he looked between his brothers, who both wore concerned expressions. “Alright, you two look like scouts with horrible information who don’t want to spill the news. Well, spill.” 
Rhys straightened his posture while the shadows flurried more quickly around Azriel’s shoulders. It was the High Lord who spoke first. “I know you’ve been really looking forward to tomorrow and think it will make a big difference in your and Nesta’s plans in Illyria but-”
Azriel cut Rhys off stoney faced, “Cassian there have been serious death threats. Are you sure it’s really a good idea for you to let loose with these men when they’re the very same ones calling for your head on a spike?”
Cassian huffed out a breath and rolled his eyes. “You sound like Nesta. Look, Az, you have your mission in Autumn tomorrow, and Rhysand has Velaris to guard with Mor and Amren gone.” Cassian clapped a hand on each of his brother’s shoulders as he said with more confidence than he actually felt, “I’ve received more death threats than the three of us combined could count. Nothing’s gone wrong before, why would it now?” 
His brothers looked obviously unconvinced by Cassian’s attempt at bravado. “Look, Devlon will be there. He’s been on our side since day one of this rebuild. Nesta, Emerie, and their Valkyrie unit won’t be far either. I know you’re concerned.” Cassian ran a hand through long curls as he spoke, his true anxiety on full display. 
“I’m concerned too, but we are at a stalemate. My job is to fix Illyria, to make her something that all three of us can truly be proud of. A place we work with, not just order around when we need them.” Cassian met Azriel’s shadowed stare before he locked eyes with his High Lord’s piercing violet gaze as he said his last piece. “Let me do my job Rhys, let me help Illyria.” 
Continue reading on AO3.
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Tw: repressed trauma, mental breakdown, just an overall bad time
(Villa Scaletta is still in one piece)
Inspired by @bipirate AMAZING Azula and Ursa fanart here
What Henry and Joe walked in on could be discribed as absolute chaos. Broken shards of porcelain littered the floor and a wooden chair was in pieces, as if someone hacked at it with a blade before stomping on the pieces. The couch cushions were slashed and stuffing was spilled over the couch and floor and sitting curled up in the corner with eyes devoid of any and all emotion was Vito, who’s hands twitched slightly and gripped a wooden bat tighter.
“Vito? It’s been almost 3 weeks….is everything okay?” Joe asked his friend softly as Vito trembled more. “Why…” he whispered, not meeting either’s eye. “Why what? It’s okay Vito.” Henry soothed before Vito stood up and started to pace again. “Why me? How come all the shit happens to me?” he muttered to himself before he stopped in front of the mirror to gaze at himself despondently.
Judgemental blue eyes stared back at him and his jaw clenched before lashing out and shattered the mirror. “I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN, DAMMIT!!!” His friends stood back before they dashed forward when Vito collapsed into the mirror shards and started to bawl as he covered his hands with his face.
Henry and Joe glanced at each other worriedly as Vito continued to curse seemingly no one and wrapped their arms around him, which only prompted him to scoot as far away as possible, glass shards being embedded into his palms. “GO AWAY! Y-you caused this…” Henry was about to object when Joe shook his head and pointed at Vito who was staring at them, but seemed to be looking through them.
“You were never there for us… you hurt momma….” he whispered before he closed in on himself and rested his chin on his knees. Both men approached cautiously and knelt down, making sure to keep their distance. “I did everything right, but it wasn’t enough… I got shipped to war, I went to prison…I guess I’m no better than you.”
Joe felt his heart ache for him, as well as the guilt he spent years trying to ignore came surging back, and adverted his eyes while Henry was tearing himself up on the inside. Sitting in front of them wasn’t a war veteran or a hardened criminal. All they saw at that moment was a scared, sad and lost little boy trying to find some stability in his life and being denied it at every turn.
Joe knew that if Antonio was still alive, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him himself, but he also knew that it still wouldn’t help Vito in the way it needed to. Henry stood up and headed into the kitchen to make him something to eat while Joe continued to kneel in the mess and rested a hand on his shoulder silently.
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thymefraym · 1 year
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Mind Scanners Stream is Live!
**Hey, look at that! We're Live!**
Coming up Tonight:
Using sketchy tech on people who likely don't deserve to be messed with.
Walking all over the place for way too little per patient
Plenty of interrupting Blerps from chatters
Possible talk of mental health as it pertains to the stream
YOU, in chat!
twitch_live
The stream is up and live, and we start broadcasting at 7:30 pm Pacific, so come join us!
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elissaislonely · 2 years
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Why is it that they never notice?
They don’t notice you pulling away, struggling desperately to protect yourself from the pain you know they’ll inflict.
They don’t notice you losing interest in everything that made you you, in everything that has been your rock up until this point.
They don’t notice that you can’t pretend to be happy anymore, even in front of other people, even in front of those closest to you.
They don’t notice that you cry yourself to sleep every night, and cry when they aren’t looking, because if you did it in front of them, they’d mock you.
They don’t notice that food has become meaningless to you, because it doesn’t heal the aches like it used to.
They don’t notice the emotions-the rage, the pain, the sorrow, the helplessness-always mounting up in you, making you physically sick and weak.
They don’t notice anything…until it all erupts.
And when it does, they notice. And they call you crazy, unrealistic, lazy, entitled, dramatic, idiotic, and weak. And you think to yourself, maybe you are weak. Now. But you weren’t always. The burdens you’ve carried for so long have made you weak, and exhausted.
But when they see you struggling, dying under the pressure of your pain, they still won’t lift a hand to help you. Instead, they scold you for stumbling. For falling to your knees. For dropping your burden.
For seeking rest, even for just a moment. Seeking the rest that only they can provide. But they won’t.
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st-a-y · 2 years
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