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#mentalillness

I am the darkness in your soul,

I am the cold blood in your veins,

I am the loneliness in your bones,

I am the loudest voice in your head,

I am your enemy and your friend,

I am Mephisto,

And I will never leave you!🎭

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I am the darkness in your soul,

I am the cold blood in your veins,

I am the loneliness in your bones,

I am the loudest voice in your head,

I am your enemy and your friend,

I am Mephisto,

And I will never leave you!🎭

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ED thoughts?

I am a really shitty person because sometimes when the people around me who are skinny eat junk food I feel happy cause I think that maybe they’ll gain weight and then we’ll be the same but then I realise how fucked up that is. It’s not like I want them to be fat it’s just some disgusting competitive part of me that loves comparing myself to those around me.

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Chào bạn. Bạn có khỏe không? There is a beautiful day waiting for us, so what are your plans? 🤷🏾‍♀️


Rob and I have our Vietnamese Class then our ministry. Chúng em đang học tiếng Việt. 📚
Then we plan on chillin with friends and family. 🌮

Learning a new language, especially a tonal language like Vietnamese has been challenging. But it’s for a good cause and that keeps us motivated. 👷🏾‍♂️

When I feel anxiety creeping in, I grab my Vietnamese books or brochures and read aloud for a few minutes until I feel the anxiety simmer down. 📖

What’s your go-to to help calm your anxiety?



#saturdaythoughts #itsstillsummer #smelltheflowers #gooutandenjoylife #jwlife #vietnamese #tiếngviệt #foreignlanguage #staymotivated #anxietyfighter #mydisorderstability #staypositive #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #lolắng #gladstonemo #kansascity #aboutfamily #aboutfriends #happysaturdayeveryone #khỏekhông (at Gladstone, Missouri)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B1jFMNbFwaP/?igshid=rzjgcagqj4p1

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1. Try to give it form and to put it into words. Don’t allow it to be shapeless as that’s harder to resolve.

2. Agree that you will look at it and not ignore the pain - as any unexpressed emotions lead to problems later on.

3. Avoid triggers and memories that take you back in time, and open up old wounds, so you experience pain again.

4. Ground yourself in the present and who you are today – and remember you have strengths, and good people in your life.

5. Don’t allow the hurt and pain to take control of who you are, or limit what you’ll do, or the goals you set yourself.

6. Spend as much time as you can with those who care and treat you well – with those who see your worth, and truly love and value you.

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Ive been alone all day today and usually thats just fine but i reached out to some folks for company and everyone’s gone to the fair. Im at a point in my life where i feel ostracized and outside of how everyone else exists. Mostly this is my illnesses telling me lies…but looking at the world im not sure what to do with myself. I feel that being where im at right now isnt all my fault. I survived a lot of trauma over many years, and have made strides in my health the last 5 years of sobriety and recovery……but not working, not being in school, has left me feeling lost and alone. I feel punished for what other people did to me. They hurt me, i was/am the way i was/am because of other people. Folks will tell you that you are not your trauma(s), that your trauma(s) arnt your fault…but ARE your responsibility. Pretty fucked up, but i understand. Being that as it is, what am i supposed to do when i feel ive been doing what i can to be healthy and on the same “level” as others but im still stuck a half mile behind everyone else? I feel like weigh my friends down with how slow my progress is in life. I feel worried I won’t get to have my time in the sun with my friends and family. That I’ll always be alone. Stuck with my thoughts and this battle……i feel like i beg for attention, that i blow up peoples phones just trying to not feel left out. But I can’t afford to go and do things right now and live too far away for folks to want to visit… I feel like im being punished for something from a past life when in reality im struggling to survive in a hellish world outside of my old trauma life that was caused by somebody else, and its taking everything i have to keep what little shit i have together …i just want to be out there living and breathing and laughing and growing with the rest of you, but i cant even leave the house…i dont even go to ceremonies anymore…sorry to drop all of this but i didnt know what else to do. Not fishing for anything..at all…i needed to speak my truth for a moment is all. …I know what i need to do to better my situation, and am doing what i can to make it happen. Its just incredibly lonely and frustrating going at it alone. I never had role models as a kid, no one to boost me up when i was down. Im learning to be my own cheerleader and thats ok. hope you all have a great weekend

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Self care

I brushed my hair for the first time in ************. It took me two and a half hours. I’m proud of myself because I didn’t cry from frustration and I didn’t give up. I put on some music, sat in the shower, and worked at it in sections. Tomorrow I’m going to get help to wash it. I’m also happy because I did cry from pain, didn’t get a headache, and didn’t pull a muscle like I previously thought I did. My scalp, arms, and back are sore, but I am so proud of myself. I did it.

Self care isn’t always cute things like getting a bubble tea or doing a face mask. It’s doing things that you need to to take care of yourself. Sometimes those things are easy and do help, but sometimes it’s the tough shit that you have to drag yourself through.

It could be crying in the bathroom at work and getting on with your day. It could be having a shower for the first time in days. Or using wipes to keep relatively clean. It could be crying on the bathroom floor while you brush your hair. Or going a really far distance to go see a doctor. It could be doing something that is extremely difficult for you that might be easier for other people. Self care is doing the things you have to do to care for your self. No matter what those things may be.

Self care is as simple as taking a sip of water and readjusting your posture right now and as complex as taking yourself to the hospital or to a crisis centre because you’re in danger. Just promise me that you’ll keep at it.

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