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#mod kaltenecker

Shiro: Coran, if you wanted to be healthier, why not come to me? I’m ripped as hell.

Lance: Shiro, health is about flexibility, a piece of mind, and bone strength, not building vanity muscles.

Shiro: Vanity Muscles? I use all of these.

Coran: Really? Even the large neck ones?

Shiro: They help me sleep upright on airplanes!

Lance: Well, there’s no reason to be defensive just because you don’t have the bone strength of a yogi. We all have our thing, you’re a muscler, I’m a boner.

Shiro: Shiro can do yoga. Shiro is a yoga beast. Watch give me a yoga to do.

Lance: Uh well, we’re in warrior pose now, but I suppose for you we can start in child’s pose.

Shiro: Shiro is not a child! Shiro is a Warrior! Hrrgggg! *gets into pose*

Lance: Aand *stretches back*

Shiro: *Cracks*

Coran: That didn’t sound good. Are you okay Shiro?

Shiro: I’m fine, now if you excuse me, I am going to walk out of here normally using my trademark tiny steps.

463 notes · See All
Matt: Keith’s worried about his bike sitting idle so he wants us to take it out once a day. *tosses keys*
Shiro: I think you should do this. You’re more the biker type. I once watched you use a toothpick in public.
Matt: Bikes are death machines, I’m not risking it. I have a girlfriend and two robot kids!
Shiro: Are you saying my life matters less because I don’t conform to society’s hetero-normative, child-centric ideals?
Matt: Are you really playing the gay card right now!?
Shiro: (deadpan) Yas, queen. *tosses keys back along with a finger-snap*
719 notes · See All

General Sanda: Just give it to Sendak!

Commander Iverson: So he can destroy the galaxy?

Sanda: What are you some saint all of a sudden, What has the galaxy ever done for you? Why would you want to save it?

Iverson: Because, I’m one of the idiots who lives in it?

490 notes · See All
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