#my attempt at being an aesthetic photographer lol

[many-but-one]

⚠️Trigger Warning: Loud noises toward the end, somewhat flashing, blood, themes of anger, violence, and pain⚠️

A video that I made to vent some of my frustration. I don’t know where it comes from, but I think the difficulty of being “just a trauma holder” with no real job other than hovering around being sad and angry is frustrating. Yes, I am a protector. Yes, I am a persecutor. Yes, I can sometimes co-host on a good day. But there is so much pain and rage in me. I wanted to share because I felt like people in the system community would understand, of all people.

“King” section is Aridam, our primary gatekeeper.

“Soldier” section is Valentine, Aridam’s second and our primary protector.

“Poet” section is Dorian, host, as I don’t have enough references of Indigo yet and he said it would be okay to use the photos of what he used to look like before his and Winter’s fusion.

And the “Rage” section is me, Vivian. Trauma holder, persecutor-protector, co-host.

Feels stupid to say enjoy but I worked hard on it so…enjoy, lmao.

🪷Vivi👑

Art credit list below because I only “own” the edited artbreeder portraits at the beginning of the king, solider, poet sections and we try our best to always credit artists when we can figure out who they are. Unfortunately we find a lot of our claims on Pinterest.

“King” Section (Aridam)

-Artbreeder portrait: made and edited by us.

-Male silhouette photograph: can't find the source, all sources just say "dark prince aesthetic" which...okay. lol.

-Green wolf drawing: "Dark creatures in a dark forest" by cercat

-Man with a bloody nose: 먹살 on Twitter, though their account doesn't seem to exist any longer.

-B&W wolf drawing: "Fenrir" which unfortunately, any searches for the source of this photo were futile, and mainly ended up on websites with no credit given. Sad. :(

"Solider" Section (Valentine)

-Artbreeder portrait: made and edited by us.

-Man in white uniform: Apostle on Twitter

-White haired anime style man with flowers: Lin jjx on Twitter

-Silver haired man with a heart in his hand: All attempts to find the source led me to basically Japanese Pinterest. :(

-White haired man playing flute: The only places I could find this image were on RP boards with no credit given, which sucks. :(

"Poet" section (Dorian/Indigo)

-Artbreeder portrait: made and edited by us.

-Regal elf in green: warickaart on Instagram

-pretty man in a top hat with a rose: all attempts to find this source point to a manhwa character called Aisha but I couldn't figure out who the artist is or how to link it.

-boy with a frappe: The Magicians fanart by waxanie on Twitter

-boy with smudged eyeliner (B&W image): the only sources lead to various international Pinterests. I've never seen this happen before so it was kind of funny to see Russian Pinterest, Japanese Pinterest, and Korean Pinterest.

-elf boy with black hair: this source search took me to a super dodgy looking fan art site with more ads than Wiki. Needless to say, couldn't find the source which is so sad.

-boy with ripped off wings: the only freaking place I could even possibly see who this was made by was a fantasy artist called mahdiehseyedi88 on fiverr.

"Rage" section (Vivian)

-boy with sunglasses: Taeyong fan art by hoki11 on Twitter

-Blonde boy laying on the ground photograph: Noen Eubanks

-Scratched up blonde boy photograph: Apparently people like to use this guy for edits for "Song of Achilles" but never like to credit who the model or photographer is. Very cool. (Not)

-Blonde boy upside down drawing: Unfortunately just a lot of reposts with no credit on Pinterest. However, this *looks* like it's from artist valentinaremenar on instagram. Not a guarantee, though the styles are similar. If you know who this belongs to, please lmk.

[Red Section of Rage Section]

Note: all of these photographs are not originally tinted red, this is for the style of the video. So I can't give color descriptions well, but know all photos will be named in order and with a slight description.

First (demon like, glowing eyes): "Cleanse" by Nicolas Cauteruccio on Artstation

Second (boy with sticks in his head and mouth): camouflage by Len-yan on Deviantart

Third (black skin, fiery looking hair, please know this original piece is actually blue and red and it is gorgeous): astrono77153462 on Tumblr

Fourth (boy on a bed of white roses): "doodle" by Alle Page on Artstation

Fifth (bloody looking faerie creature) Once again astrono77153462 on Tumblr

Sixth (boy with long hair, cracks, and metallic blood, please know that this original piece is white and gold and gorgeous, colors were shifted for the video aesthetic and I highly suggest checking out the OG piece): "you'll never break me" by shilin on Deviantart

Seventh (satyr with whipping marks): daifei on Tumblr

Eighth (boy with claws dripping blood): I could not find proper credit anywhere. Ugh. So sad because this art is so gorgeous.

And of course, if anyone knows any of the uncredited pieces, please feel free to DM me and I can edit the post for proper credit. Thank you.

#vivian🪷 #vivi posts #personal post #dorian🌹 #valentine🫀 #aridam🪢 #my art #manybutone #did osdd #dissociative disorder #dissociative identity disorder #tw blood #tw flashing #tw flashing lights #angercore

[lulu-zodiac]

can you pls recommend some destiel fanfic, i'm running low

Oh isn’t that just the biggest mood nonnie 😅

Of course! I’m currently working on a rec list master post, but for now have some of my all time favourites:

LONGER FICS

A Room of One’s Own

Tags: Porn with plot, humour, wing kink, canon universe

Notes: LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE DESTIEL FIC. It has it all: scorchingly hot smut, feels, pining, laugh-out-loud humour, Cas attempting to seduce Dean via bunny rabbits. If you haven't read it, go read it. You won't regret it.

A Turn of the Earth

Tags: Slow burn, pining, canon au

Notes: The most gorgeous, bittersweet, wonderful time travel au and possibly the most poignantly real exploration of Dean as a character I've ever read. It's just incredible. The slowly developing relationship between Dean and Cas feels so in character. This fic broke me into tiny pieces and then fixed me in ways I didn't know I needed.

A Midterm Night's Dream

Tags: College au, friends to lovers, miscommunication, slow burn, ALL OF THE FEELS

Notes: This is just such a lovely, heart-warming, slightly angsty and very fluffy friends to lovers fic. The dynamic between Cas and Dean is wonderful, this is one of my comfort reads.

Four Letter Word For Intercourse

Tags: Slow burn, smut, au

Notes: There's a reason everyone won't shut up about this fic: it is, quite honestly, one of the best things I've ever read in my life. It's so addictive that I somehow managed to read all 200,000 words of it in three days, and honestly? It's changed the way I think about sex and intimacy and human relationships. It's just mindblowing. The character development is to die for, the smut is scorching, and the slow burn is agonising in the best possible way. What more could you ask for??

The Ed Sheeran Effect

Tags: Highschool au, friends to lovers, slow burn, pining, first time

Notes: This fic is SO UNDERRATED. Dean and Cas's friendship is beautifully written and the slow build is just perfect. It's one of the most compelling, heart-warming fics I've read in a long time, I got totally sucked in and it's just so wonderfully feel-good while also being really realistic. And the smut? Oh man. Some of the best written smut I've come across.

SHORT FICS

Aesthetics in Autoerotica

Tags: College au, photographer Cas, smut

Casturbatus Interuptus

Tags: First time, masturbation, canon universe

Core of My Addiction

Tags: Hair-pulling kink, first time, canon universe

Barbegazi

Tags: Accent kink, first time, canon universe

Every Great Top Deserves a Great Bottom

Tags: Smut, modelling au

Stupid With a Flare Gun

Tags: Car sex, first time, pining, masturbation

Damn You Auto Correct!

Tags: Miscommunication, sexting, first time

How to Romance a Human

Tags: Humour, miscommunication, get together

Okay so what I've realised from this list is I clearly read far too much smut, pining and angst... there's hardly any fluff here at all lol. I hope you find something you enjoy though, there are some really incredible fics in this fandom!

#asks #destiel #destiel fic recs #destiel fanfic #deancas #spn #supernatural #my stuff #my posts: recs

[commajade]

why are you not the president yet how does it feel to spend your days with a brain so big and ideas so good pLEASE WRITE THAT ESSAY I AM BEGGING

LOL i’m not the president because i want to topple the US government among other things but it is actually a curse!! so many good ideas! no manpower or time to bring them into fruition! 

what that taemin x jose munoz essay would be is about munoz’s concept of queerness as horizon (something that is not yet here) and queer time as opposed to straight time. it's about going against queer pragmatics and instead engaging the political imagination. i think ngda is the closest thing there is right now to a mainstream portrayal of a queer korean futurism.

"The poem speaks of multiple temporalities and the affective mode known as ecstasy, which resonates alongside the work of Martin Heidegger. In Being and Time Heidegger reflects on the activity of timeliness and its relation to ekstatisch (ecstasy), signaling for Heidegger the ecstatic unity of temporality—Past, Present, and Future. The ecstasy the speaker feels and remembers in “A photograph” is not consigned to one moment. It steps out from the past and remarks on the unity of an expansive version of temporality; hence, future generations are invoked. To know ecstasy in the way in which the poem’s speaker does is to have a sense of timeliness’s motion, to understand a temporal unity that is important to what I attempt to describe as the time of queerness. Queerness’s time is a stepping out of the linearity of straight time. Straight time is a self-naturalizing temporality. Straight time’s “presentness” needs to be phenomenologically questioned, and this is the fundamental value of a queer utopian hermeneutics. Queerness’s ecstatic and horizonal temporality is a path and a movement to a greater openness to the world. (Munoz 25). 

Munoz also describes queer ecstasy as "being marked by both self-consciousness and obliviousness, possesses a potentially transformative charge."

Things I could write a page about each:

Taemin's use of temporality, specifically queer temporal unity with a deliberate subversion of the linear:

1. the contrast of plato's theory of forms with a futuristic aesthetic is connected through a gay fashion designer's vision of an ecstatic catholic rave (Palomo F/W 2020). the motifs of the virgin mary, jesus, etc with the y2k futurist aesthetics.

2. and the form of the narrative is one of an epic poem, of orpheus descending into hell to save his wife or princess bari descending into the underworld to find the cure to save her parents.

Taemin and ecstasy:

1. As me and yaejin's post about the Palomo outfit says, "taemin said thotcrime jail is now GAY CATHOLIC RAVE". Taemin dismantles the panopticon! Taemin destroys heaven and hell to become one with nature!

2. How this ties into Korean communal musical practices for 5000 years, the practice of communal music spaces as places of untying han and instead creating generative catharsis and communal uplift

Taemin and possession:

1. I talked about this a bit already with my how is taemin korean ask but Taemin channels BoA, is momentarily possessed by BoA as a higher power when he lipsynchs her lines. But I wrote my senior thesis on how in Indigenous spiritual cosmologies, possession isn't a demonic thing of an act of owning and claiming the way it is in Western culture. It's about mutual responsibility to the spirit of the land/object in your care, stewardship and commitment and expectations of care. Through BoA's voice Taemin channels the "transformative charge" of queer temporality

NGDA is a uniquely korean, uniquely queer narrative of liberation that retools the imposition of western history onto the korean peninsula into a way to present a colonized queer korean reality.

https://emotionsblog.history.qmul.ac.uk/2015/05/david-byrne-on-music-ecstasy-and-catharsis/

This interview with David Byrne is also something I would use to contextualize the discussion of music, ecstasy, and catharsis and the globalization of pop music with its base in African diasporic music.

#taemin meta #asks #yaejin #<3

[palmett-hoes]

since the first step in achieving your goals is to state them aloud, here's a list of aftg fics/ au s that i'd like to write some day

- pre-canon fic from aaron's perspective spanning the twins' first meeting till they're drafted by the foxes and graduate high school. i'm increasingly enamored with aaron as a character as well as with an outside perspective of andrew's actions and i think it would be very interesting to look at the foundation on which their fraught relationship is built and first developed

- even more pre-canon fic. andrew's early life in foster care. yes, we all know about the most... gruesome things that were done to him, but i believe that there is plenty more that has affected and shaped him, especially in relation to my interpretation of andrew as an autistic poc. this would not be a happy fic.

- anastasia au. neil as anya, andrew as dimitri. possibly a plot amalgamation from both the animated movie and the stage show, with changes as i see fit. (no, neil is not the prince of russia). what i find most compelling about this au is the story of neil and andrew as childhood friends and then the angst of having andrew, as an adult, teaching an amnesiac neil how to act like a noble while being convinced that neil is an imposter. good shit

- art school/dance club au. the foxes attend the palmetto school of art at prestigious edgar allen university. they're considered the school's charity cases, and they are NOT friends. andrew is a studio arts major with a concentration in sculpture who works in the campus coffee shop in the mornings and frequents night clubs that employ pretty boys in the evenings. neil is attending college completely on his father's dime, PROVIDED he study what his father wants, despite his desire to study dance and music. going crazy without an outlet, neil takes a secret job as a go-go dancer. look. this may slightly possibly be a result of me having planned to party hardy this summer, then having my plans ruined by the virus :c

- 1950s High School au. the 1950s aesthetics fucking rock even though the 1950s fucking sucked. kinda wanna tackle both. plus, andrew already has that james dean bad boy fast car appeal

- an exploration of mary and nathan's relationship and history. i get that neil's parents are both super taboo and both really really awful people, but i have questions and i want to answer them

- neil never returns from baltimore. in order to keep his deals, permanently, andrew kills riko and tetsugi, and gets over 20 years in prison. when he gets out, he just wants to be alone, but it seems there's a ghost haunting him. this was conceived for MAXIMUM angst, no getting around it. i got the idea from a badacts fic and it has haunted me ever since

- post-canon sexuality exploration fic. i have a real passion for quality sex education and healthy experimentation, and neil very clearly didn't get the chance for either. yet at the end of the books he finds himself in a very intense sexual relationship. i just really want to give him the opportunity to find out how desire works for him and what he likes, on his own terms. i read a lot of fics where neil's desires seem to be completely dependent on andrew's initiaton, and while i do believe that andrew is the only person neil is attracted to and will ever be attracted to, i also want to explore how his sexuality manifests on its own. the vibe i'm going for is, uh, HornySweet (tm), but also with a lot of genuine eductional material. i want this is to be something that offers real information to its readers that may have been inaccessible for a lot of people, on topics like like sexual hygiene, maturbation, and sex toys in a non-fetishy way. this will be very very E rated, but like,, in a very earnest and goofy way because sex and sexuality is neat and cool but it's also not all serious perfect fucking. it's just,, a topic that deserves to be DISCUSSED

- mobster au. andrew, having never met aaron, takes a job for the moriyamas to track down a runaway asset. Neil. upon completion, they make andrew the butcher's apprentice, and pull neil back into the fold as a commodity rather than a person. lots of violence, lots of shady underground dealings, lots of plotting, lots of secrets.

i'm gonna put some more under the cut, ones that i don't feel as strong a drive towards right now or that i haven't thought as much about. if you (yes, YOU) like any of these, or are interested in any of these, or wanna hear more about any of these, or are even inspired to write something yourself by any of these please, PLEASE, say something in the notes, or send me a message, or an ask or anything. ANYTHING. i am stuck inside, all the time, and i am so, so lonely. i answer from hoob-gooblin

- princess bride au. come ON. princess bride is one of the most romantic AND most snarky movies of all time, and andreil literally invented love and devotion sooooooo it's a perfect match. "yes or no" vs "as you wish" kings of consent and communication and unconventional love declarations. also,, he may not be how I imagine andrew, but a young cary elwes in dramatic black pirate getup is DEFINITELY a valid andrew

- hozier au. sometimes,, i listen to an album, and imagine a fic that encompases the whole thing. nothing speaks louder to me than hozier's discography. (also, yes, i am gay). maybe a little bit inside llewyn davis. neil wanders through a small town and takes up some small jobs, but sings his heart out through twisted metaphors once a week in a hole in the wall bar staffed by a very short, dead eyed veteran

- prince and the pauper au. on a stealth recon mission in enemy territory, andrew encounters a local lord who happens to have his face. in a moment of desperation to save himself from arrest, andrew knocks the lord out and assumes his identity. he returns to the castle just in time for prince moriyama to arrive with a shifty-eyed, red-headed handservant in tow. lord aaron of columbia, meanwhile, wakes up on a ship manned by crown traitor and fugitive kevin day, calling him by a name he's never heard before, and then he's in the hands of the guerilla rebel forces that have been attacking the kingdom. i watched barbie princess and the pauper as a child and that movie fucking slaps

- little mermaid/beauty and the beast/bride of the rose beast/ladyhawke au. in a last ditch attempt to escape his father, neil trades his voice and his tail for legs and washes ashore on a small kingdom with horrible secrets. because he cannot speak, read or write, prince aaron employs neil to serve the monster in the catacombs, the prince's twin brother. the twins are under a curse that turns them into terrifying monsters, andrew by day and aaron by night. aaron's affliction is a secret, as is andrew's humanity. this is such a hodgepodge idea lol. did neil also have to be a mermaid for this to work? no. is he? hell yeah

- new york private school/twin swap au. aaron wins a scholarship to a prestigious school that will guarantee him a future, but then he relapses. convinced he just needs a little more time to get clean, he makes a deal with his volatile new brother, andrew, to stand in for him at the school just until he can his shit together. neil and ichirou moriyama have been raised together their entire lives, always under the knowledge that ichirou will inherit the family empire with nathaniel as his right hand. they hate the idea, but they have no way to escape, and now neil is being harassed by ichirou's bitchass estranged brother at their stupid, fancy private school. LISTEN, we as a fandom do NOT take enough advantage of the twin swap possibilities presented to us. pathetic

- post-canon fic where ichirou, realizing that the life of a mob boss is a lonely one, decides that he needs... a friend. however, because of the nature of his work, he can't just make friends with anyone, so he decides to make friends with neil. without consulting neil first. cue a lot of very weird, very awkward coffee dates where neil is convinced he's about to be disposed of, and ichirou just wants to know about his cats. the thing i like about ichirou is he’s a complete blank slate. i can make him a good guy, a bad guy, an ally, the Big Bad

- Kill Bill au. mary survives a bullet to the head and wakes up from a coma over a year later. with nothing left to lose, she sets out to single-handedly dismantle the wesninski circle. good thing she used to be its top assassin

- single dad andrew au. except look, look, stay with me here, okay, aaron is his son, and he's adopted nicky and kevin. LISTEN. STAY WITH ME. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. tbh the idea comes from my interpretation of the andrew/neil/kevin dynamic as distincly parental, then extending that interpretation to andrew's protection over the rest of his family.

- fashion au. andrew is a fashion designer and photographer who frequently works with allison reynolds. one day she brings around a short, twitchy assistant who looks like she just plucked him out of an alley. somehow, he becomes andrew's muse. i watch a lot of fashion competition shows

- ghibli. either howl's moving castle (andrew as sophie, neil as howl) or spirited away (?). maybe both idk

- legally blonde au. legally blonde is so good guys

#aftg #fic #fic ideas #aftg fic #the foxes #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #326

“life by life  /  waste to waste  /  i'm the harbinger: the master of decay”

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? Probably the venue. Or possibly the photographer. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Very much so. Do you own anything that is special edition? Yeah, things like DVDs. Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have this one meerkat bookmark where the image moves when you tilt it. Did you ever watch Pokemon? Hell yeah I did. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mom does due to having gerd. Dad did too when I actually lived with him. I wouldn't know nowadays. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? No. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. Any essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Similar interests, like being a metal fan and gamer especially, as well as a serious animal lover for sure. Any romantic gestures you really like? Okay if someone did that little bow thing while reaching out for my hand to dance, I'd melt, lol. I also appreciate love interests holding open doors, SHOWING INTEREST IN HOW I FCKN FEEL, asking permission before doing anything in sexual exploration, stuff like that. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? Yep, not sharing those lmfao. Have you ever been in love? Twice. What is your favorite/least favorite word? My favorite is "serendipity/serendipitous," and my least favorite is "retarded." Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. If I actually had a body I was confident in, I probably would in privacy tho at night lmao. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Oh yeah. What is your favorite thing to do? Probably RPing with my favorite OCs when I'm in a really creative mood and during a great scene. Did you go to your senior prom? Yeah, I did. Prom's honestly pretty damn overrated, but I did it and his senior prom anyway. It's the picking out a beautiful dress and taking pictures that I loved. What did you do after graduation? I don't remember. We probably went out to eat or something. Favorite home cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Nothing, really. Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. Uhhhhh idk. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I hate the texture of whipped cream. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Sometimes if I want a snack but am trying to be healthy-ish, I'll eat just a scoop. What was the last pill you took for? Pain. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? Loose, 100%. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Meerkats grooming. I did it in high school on a large piece of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Take It Like a Woman" by Alice Cooper, for one. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Very smart, sweet, friendly, and nice. Game you were best at in PE/gym? Pf, none. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Pokemon. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep stuff regarding the world or about how awesome animals are. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh boy. There are just way too many. I'll try to name a few: 1.) the "I can't find my berries" saga guy; 2.) *in drive-thru, asked what he would like to order* "I wanna FUCKIN DIE"; 2.) "i cOUldA DROPpeD my CroISSAnt"; 3.) "it's Wednesday, m'dudes"; 4.) "a d a m"; 5.) "I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH." God, I miss Vine. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Holy cow, I have no idea. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite tradition? Dressing up for Halloween, even though I don't do it anymore... Talent you’re proud of having? Writing. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz was unbeatable. I was obsessed. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Favorite potato food? French fries. Tell me the color of your eyes, without using the name of a color: Uhhhh a cloudy sky right before rain? Ever been through a goth phase? Goth is my fucking AESTHETIC. I wish I could afford a truly gothic wardrobe, because you bet your sweet ass it's all I'd wear out. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think so? It was a Blueberry, I believe. Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? Obviously the Cheshire cat. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? Lately, it's been tarantula and snake channels/pet YouTubers. I still think my overall favorites are let's plays, but right now it's just stepping back a bit. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I have this pretty cool drawing I wanna do of a morbid meerkat doing a big toothy smile, doing a peace sign (but his fingers are syringes) with a crown blinking over his head. Inspired by the "Professional Griefers" lyric of "lab rat king." I just really wanna make it perfect and am procrastinating in fear of failing... Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think I believe in miracles. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, Justine, and Chloe, to name a few. Which did you like better: high school or college? High school, at least in most ways. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. My interests just kinda threw up everywhere, haha. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Were you raised religious? Yes. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have to do taxes yet. What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? Venus was the first big thing, I think. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament: I don't know what that would be, honestly. We have so very many. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Dad's always been a mailman, and he also had a second job as a carpenter for a while. Mom worked with special needs children at my elementary school as a teacher assistant. She also worked at the hospital at one point, doing some computer work. I don't remember her actual position. Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sure, that's not a big deal to me. Last reason you went to the ER? For myself, a suicide attempt/overdose. What was the last word document you typed? This survey, actually, so I could save progress as I combine them. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. I wanted apple slices with peanut butter. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? Holy SHIT that is impossible. Maybe the devil cakes, but I really don't know. I love most of them. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom buys white bread, but my favorite is pumpernickel. What was the last non-fiction book you’ve read? (Not a school textbook!): I ain't got a clue. I don't really read non-fiction. What color are your headphones/earbuds? These are blue. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yep. Thankfully, I don't snore. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Yep. How do you feel about coconut? Not a fan. ^ Ever cracked one open? Ha, I've always wanted to. Who did you last worry about and why? My mom. She's getting a CT scan ASAP due to chronic headaches and stomach pain, so I'm worried her cancer might be re-emerging. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I don't know; I struggle to do this. If I don't like something, my face shows it. I can't help it. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I don't know. Real talk, I find most luxury brands to sell pretty ugly stuff... Do you like candy canes? Yeah. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yes; one is my landlord. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? It was black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Do you like burning candles or incense? I love incense. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? When I used to live in the woods, I did every now and then to take pictures. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? Single, but that would be so romantic. /swoons How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was this emo/metalhead/goth creature. What is the best present you have ever received? My dog Teddy. <3 What is the best present you have ever given? I put the most effort into a scrapbook thing of well over a hundred reasons I loved my then-boyfriend Jason. Even though we're done, I honestly hope he still has it, just to remember. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Sara's parents paying for a flight up there to be with Sara for her birthday. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? Definitely a nope. Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose? No. What’s the strangest thing you have ever witnessed firsthand? I have no idea. It's... very morbid, but possibly dogs twitching after being euthanized. Seeing Teddy do it was such a strange, painful experience. Like there was still life in there... even though I know it was just his nerves doing their final hoorah and he was already dead. Ever seen a psychiatric ward? I've been in a mental hospital five or six times, so I'm uncomfortably familiar with them. What is the last thing you did that you didn’t want to do? Group therapy. I'm really burning out on it. Thankfully, I don't have it on the weekends. What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do? I dunno. If you could live in a different time, would you? When? Nah. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Sleeping alone is more comfortably physically, but I usually prefer sleeping with a partner because there's this amazing feeling of safety, love, and companionship. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets? Cold air and blankets by ten miles. I can't sleep if I'm even remotely hot. How often do you dust? Sigh, not as much as I need to. What is the most "extreme" activity you have ever done? I haven't done very much that fits that description... so idk. Dr. Pepper or root beer? Dr. Pepper. I hate root beer. Last room you cleaned? Mine. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? Checked into the doctor's office by myself, haha... Talk about sad. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? It's not my business to actually share those pictures, but I can describe them. I fucking ADORE this candid photograph I took of my mom laughing; I will forever cherish it. It's morbid to think about, but it's absolutely a picture I'll frame of her once she's passed away. I don't have many pictures of Dad, but I do really like this picture we took together at Red Lobster once. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? Mom pays an Adobe Creative Cloud photography bundle subscription for me, but that's it. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. It was a rewatch for me, but she'd never seen it. What’s something exciting that’s happened to one of your friends recently? A childhood friend got engaged a few days back. Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? We have a few somewhere. What were the last things you glued together? I don’t recall. What are your friends’ pets’ names? I'll just use Sara here since she's my best friend. She has two family dogs, Buster and Beesly, a cat named Winter, four ball pythons named Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, and Jane Marie, and Doris, a bearded dragon that I personally adore most. :') What all did you do today? I played World of Warcraft early this morning, but not for very long. I've been in a phase of being very uninterested in it lately. I've mostly just done surveys... lots of surveys. I'm just in the mood to. I've also been listening to music and watching John Wolfe play Amnesia: Rebirth periodically. If you live in a house, how many floors does it have? If you live in an apartment building, how many units does it have? It's just one floor. Would you like to live in a world with mythical creatures, even if they turned out to be evil or dangerous? Honestly... I probably would, haha. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? Never, I think and hope. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? Eggs or oatmeal. Not really. What do you think of people who purposefully train their dogs to fight or to be aggressive? They're fucking garbage human beings. If you suffer/have suffered with acne, do you squeeze your spots or do your best to just leave them be? Ugh, I was so bad (and still am if something pops up) about picking at it. Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? Sure. He loves sports, fishing, idk if he still plays video games, fantasy football... and I can't forget playing with his grandkids. It's hard for me to know all of them when I don't live with him and see him rarely. What did the last face mask you wore look like? It was just a white cotton one. Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don't go to parties. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write it. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had infected piercings as well as a badly infected pilonidal cyst. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? Aaaaand now I'm hooked on "NIHIL" by 3TEETH. Are you currently texting anyone right now? No. When was the last time you played jump rope? Yikes, probably not since I was a kid. I used to love it. Who was the last person you offended? I dunno. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? Not early. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I know trans people who have, yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support and survived? No. At least, I don't believe so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced, and Mom at least can't stand him. Dad doesn't really care. Do you ever feel like you’re sharing too much about yourself online? Oh, I absolutely used to. I still might, idk. I've tried to reel it back some. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Eight, but they're just small, vertical rectangles stacked together, so it's not as revealing as it sounds. What was the last necklace you wore? My spiked choker, I think, for pictures. Or maybe the one I have with a bunch of big silver skulls. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I don't think so, no. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister on Dad's side that I've never met. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? A shack, yeah. Do you like art? I positively adore it. I could NOT imagine life without it. How about theatre? I don't care for it. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes, for Sara. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. Yeah, she's my best fren. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Nowadays I ask her almost daily how she's doing in regards to her progress of recovering from both serious physical and mental stressors. I try to always be an available ear if she ever wants to vent. Would you rather read or watch a video about something? Watch a video. In what ways have you fulfilled some of the hopes and dreams you had as a teenager? I've fulfilled none of those. What’s one stressful thing you’ve been trying to deal with lately? How have you been dealing with it? Inexplicable, chronic boredom/serious anhedonia. I've just... put up with it. I get pleasure out of essentially nothing most days, and it sucks big time. I just try to distract myself and force myself to do things I usually love, though I've been bad about actually succeeding in making me do said stuff... Is there a regional chain of store/restaurant/etc. in your area that you feel very loyal to? MOTHERFUCKIN BOJANGLE'S, BITCH. You think YOU have good fries somewhere? Oh hunny, sit down. Oftentimes, people warn us against getting tattoos or body modifications or dying our hair unnatural colors because we could be judged poorly for them. But has a more “alternative” look ever worked out in your favor? Well, I like myself better with my piercings and tattoos, and that's all that really matters to me. Do you have any daily routine/habit of that you’re really proud of keeping up? No. .-. Pick one of the following activities to do in a forest (assume you would be equally good at each one of these): Foraging for mushrooms, identifying trees, searching for specific types of bugs, trying to build something out of fallen branches and logs. Searching for bugs w/ my camera!!! But that all sounds fun. What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken? My most recent math course that I failed horribly.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''master of decay'' by 3teeth

[dollsorwhatever]

The Teenage Fashion Model

What a perfect way to start the new year tbh. 

I wanted this doll wayyy back and now I’ve finally got her, eleven years later! Long ass essay about Barbie and my thoughts on the Silkstone line ending below lol

Getting her was kind of a bitch, 99% of the ones on Ebay were flawed in some way, the biggest/most common flaw being that her left hairline wasn’t a sharp angle like it should be and was more like a subtle curve. Then I finally found this one, with a perfect hairline, but when I asked the seller for facial close-ups he basically said ‘’she’s brand new I’m not lifting her hairnet’, which I was like... ok sis go off.  Idk what it is about Barbies, but a big chunk of sellers will not photograph the doll or even remove the tissue around the box. Maybe there’s a huge emphasis on NRFB collecting in the Silkstone community? FR sellers will open the box, photograph the face in 18 different angles and take 5 photos of the lashes alone. But so many Silkstone listings are like ‘’NRF shipper! Tissued!!’’ lmfao idgi   Anyway I was able to sufficiently check her face with the hairnet on, and the seller accepted my offer (which was 20$ above market value but whatever lol) and she got here this morning. Last purchase of 2019, first doll of 2020.  She’s lovely! I forgot that Silkies were strung together, the last one I owned was a Suite Retreat in 14′ and we didn’t really bond, so I gave her to a friend.  Haven’t styled her hair yet but I wanted to take a quick photo anyway. I overpaid for this girl, but it was really important for me to start my Silkstone/vintage Barbie collections with what are IMO the best examples of each. I personally have trouble building a collection without something to ground it in. Even though Debut isn’t a repro, she’s one of the few dolls to actually fully 100% capture the energy and spirit of the original Barbie #1 doll (other than the Wedding Day Repro), and even a little of Lilli’s spirit with the swept ponytail and strung joints.  I’m really sad that the Silkstone line is going away this year, but I kinda saw it coming tbh. I don’t know what happened but the entire line just...lost it’s spark a long time ago, especially when they added the articulated body, which is especially obvious when you look at how cheap the articulated ones are online and how slowly they sell.  I have to assume that they changed her body to compete with IT, but at the cost of completely compromising the original concept for the Silkstone line. People like IT and Silkstone for entirely different reasons and I think that, when Mattel attempted to merge those interests, they completely diluted the BFMC concept. You can’t replicate vintage Barbie aesthetics with a jointed body, you really just can’t.   And not only that, but Mattel just can’t do what IT does.  I know for a fact that Mattel understands and listens to collectors in some way, but IT has a much deeper understanding of their consumer base and they utilize that knowledge in a way that Mattel rarely does, which is evident when you see things like the body updates they do so frequently (like making all of the parts detachable), having an annual body sale for people to update their dolls with older bodies, selling reroot kits and photography supplies at their events, etc etc.  Mattel should have left the Sikstones alone and updated the Model Muse/ Pivotal bodies instead (or even made an entirely new line) if they wanted to compete with companies like Integrity Toys; changing the BFMC body was really deaf of them and only managed to kill the original concept of the line lol Anyway I’m glad I have this doll and even though the line is ending, I have a small list of older releases that I love and need, so I’ll be too occupied to care.  

#barbie #silkstone #barbie fashion model collection #bfmc #vintage barbie #50th anniversary #debut #bild lilli

[m3gp0idremade]

21 questions tag :0

answer and tag 21 people, tagged by @auraleanna! thanks for tagging me, these things are so fun!

1. Nicknames: will, charlie, willy/willie, nigel, wilbur

2. Zodiac Sign: gemini sun aries moon :D

3. Height: 5′5, probably getting near 5′6

4. Hogwarts House: uhh ravenclaw i think

5. Last Thing I Googled: C OM PLY stephanie mzee (really cool photographer!)

6. Favorite Musicians: yorushika, tennis, mitski, no buses, passepied and sunflower bean atm 

7. Song Stuck in My Head: platinum disco, a bunch of songs by mitski, yui - again, last day of my adolescence 

8. Following Now: 1487 :0

9. Followers: uhhhhhh um 61 lol

10. Do I Get Asks?: from my friends... uh yeah :D i love asks!

11. Amount of Sleep?:  idk, 6 or 7?? hours?? i honestly don’t know lol

12. Lucky Number: i don’t know, 3 and 7 are generally good tho 

13. What I’m Wearing: midwash jeans, black turtleneck and a pink polo shirt 

14. Dream Job: idk! something in teaching, art history or linguistics would be really ideal!

15. Dream Trip: to japan, or to visit my friends in various far away places :/

16. Favorite Food: hmmm i really like chocolate, ice cream (coconut milk/almond milk ice cream tho) uhh bread, blueberry desserts, chocolate chip cookies, also stir fry and curry + roti

17. Instruments: i play piano, can kinda play flute, and i sing :)

18. Languages: english is my first language, attempted french at one point and i’m currently learning japanese!

19. Favorite Song: hmm right now, i really like strawberry blond by mitski and prom queen by beach bunny, but there’s tons and tons of songs that could fit that label!!

20. Random Fact: did you know, that in a rabbit vs slug fight, the rabbit is very likely to win? well that’s obvious. i don’t really know many random facts off the top of my head, haha

21. Aesthetic: i can’t say i really have one lol, it changes depending on my mood, but i really like cottagecore & larme kei aesthetics... hm

UHH sorry in advance if the people i tag in this don’t wanna do it nobody has to please help me what is a “social cue” what

@friendoffelidae @aheadfullofglassbees @theradioblahblah @kaih-o @smiles-and-peace @nepptune @turtle-chan @hannya-oni @random-realist @crystallizednebula

SORRY in advance if anyone tagged here doesn’t wanna & it’s actually super weird that i tagged them in this GHJGHjg and any mutual that feels left out cuz i didn’t tag them i’m really sorry D:  i’m just not sure who is ok with being tagged in this sort of thing ghkjghj just straight up pretend i tagged you and do it ok (if you want to)

#HHHHhhHHH sorry sorry sorry

[swampgallows]

Hey I am an ace as well and I was just wondering how you deal with friends wondering why you don’t date/ or feel sexual attraction to people.... like it just doesn’t cross my mind but I’m bad at explaining

i’m lucky in that most of my close friends are accepting of my asexuality and it isn’t an issue. like any of my other boundaries, they are respected. it’s really my family, and people who aren’t very close to me, who don’t understand. I’ve only brought it up with my family once or twice and they’ve been very dismissive of it, so I’m not exactly open with them about it. i wasn’t planning to tell them at all, but my mom confronted me in the car and forced me to come out to her. i tried bringing it up with my sister and brother, and my sister said “you just need to find the right man”. i told her, “well maybe you’re bi and you just need to find the right woman.” then she went onto some tangent about how she thought she was “broken” until she met her boyfriend at the time, who was allegedly very good at oral sex. so, yknow, more of the same bullshit we always get.

my parents make comments about “when” I “find a man” or “start a family”, then stammer “—i-if you want to, I mean, if that’s what you want to do—” as an aside. they continually ask if i “met anyone”, or, when I do meet new people (usually men) if I am “interested”. my ex girlfriend flew out to see me and spent a week at my house (i live with my parents) but my family is still fairly ignorant of my bi identity, and I don’t really have the constitution to care to remind them. (or, it becomes an issue of “well youre not even dating anyone so what does it matter?” as if everyone’s orientations are of no import if they’re single.)

my main mode of coping is deflection; I’ll focus instead on the attributes the people around me are attracted to and agree on just an aesthetic principle. like there was a time where a new guy started working at the coffee cart at my old job, and all of my coworkers were fawning over how hot he was. i asked them to point him out to me sometime (which made them think i was interested), as i didnt really see anyone of particular attractiveness enter the ranks. when i finally ran into him, i agreed that he looked like a pleasant guy, then made a joke about how he “looks like he coaches a youth swimming team”. my coworkers all found it hilarious, and it wasn’t any insult to the guy at all, AND it deflected them from asking my opinion on his ‘hotness’. it was ambiguous enough that they could still assume i was straight. 

it’s very rare that anyone asks me about my personal preferences, but if they do i usually cop out with traits i find aesthetically pleasing. or i deflect by turning it into a joke, or being self-deprecating, or both. (”i’m pushing 30 and still get acne; who wants to date that?” which then becomes a still-awkward but less vulnerable conversation full of well-intentioned but misguided attempts at skincare advice, like “just use soap and water :)”.)

sometimes i am in a situation where i can be open about my ace identity and there are many who bristle against it, but i try to stand my ground. i have lost people who i previously considered friends because i said that regardless of my partner’s gender, i was still asexual. they were of the opinion that “aces are lgbt except cishet aces”, which to me is as dumb as excluding cis bi people if theyre in a het relationship (which is something people actually do, lol. biphobia is still alive and well). because, as i had told them, i was still pretty blatantly ace even when i had boyfriends as when i had a girlfriend. i knew i was ace as young as 12 years old when i went around telling people i had “ithyphallophobia”, or the fear of an erect penis [which, if i’m being real, i kind of actually have]. me having boyfriends didn’t invalidate my ace identity, in the same way many people can go nearly their entire lives in het relationships and later come out as gay. the “gold star” standard is harmful to all. 

i am lucky to live in a pretty progressive, metropolitan area and belong to a fairly open subculture where love is interpreted in many different ways. but i still yearn for representation and acceptance regardless, as many fundamentals of asexuality are misunderstood.

i think often about musician and poet Patti Smith and her relationship with photographer and artist Robert Mapplethorpe. the two of them were a couple, intimate beyond measure, for many years. as mapplethorpe learned more about himself and his interests, the two eventually separated as a couple, and Mapplethorpe identified as gay. he had many partners and a very close and intimate relationship with his curator and mentor, Sam Wagstaff, for well over a decade. but he still maintained a very close relationship with Patti Smith. granted, this was the 70s and 80s, so the cultural climate was a bit different; wagstaff and mapplethorpe couldn’t be too open about their relationship, but that isn’t why patti smith was still in the picture. she wasn’t just a “best friend”; she was a life partner for him, truly. she visited Mapplethorpe in the hospital as he was fighting AIDS, and was one of the last people he spoke with before his death. she was a close and inseparable part of his life. patti smith writes in her book “Just Kids” that she woke up the next morning and instantly knew that he had passed. 

i mention this because people love to ridicule the concepts of quasi- or queerplatonic relationships (also called zucchinis in the ace community) specifically because they’re considered applicable only to aces. but for all intents and purposes, patti smith and robert mapplethorpe were zucchinis. they were life partners in a way that was not as simply cut and dry as just “friends” or “partners”; both mapplethorpe and patti smith had other intimate, romantic, and sexual relationships in addition to the relationship they had with one another, independent of any kind of “polyamorous” context. they had a unique bond that endured until mapplethorpe’s death. 

the isn’t to say that mapplethorpe or patti smith would have identified as zucchinis or anything like that. their relationship already existed as it was, regardless of whether or not they had a name for it, but to deny communities the new vocabulary to talk about these unique experiences is to erase their significance and magnitude. there are many experiences of the ace community and the rest of the lgbtqia community that overlap, and to disown new ideas and concepts just because they are primarily targeted as being ‘asexual’ hurts the rest of the community, as well as the rest of society. dismissing patti smith’s role in mapplethorpe’s life—and his role in hers—purely on the basis of their declared identities and their applicable roles is disingenuous to both parties and narrows our perception of the vastness of human connection. 

part of acknowledging asexuality is acknowledging the diversity and strata of human relationships, yet this seems like a conversation that a lot of people seem averse to having. hopefully once these ideas become more commonplace, we wont be stuck having to explain or hide ourselves so much.

#anon #ask #asexuality #lgbtqia #long post /

[lwtis]

End Of Year Fic-Writer Meme

This has been a long, weird year, and if you’re like me, you wrote a whole whack of fic over the course of it. So here’s a bunch of questions to ask about that:

What’s your personal favourite thing you wrote this year? 

Catch Me If You Can, most probably. I’m really pleased with the world-building and the pacing, and it’s just an awesome feeling having finished a multi-chapter fic. Concept-wise, Crown To Match My Queen is a close second.

What’s your least favourite thing you wrote this year?

Probably The Importance Of A Well Maintained Spreadsheet (And A Good Label Gun). I just couldn’t get it to work - I really love the concept and it feels like I couldn’t do it justice. Every time I re-read it, I keep finding new bits I want to re-write - not enough plot to justify the lack of shippy stuff, and not enough shippy stuff to justify the lack of plot LOL  

Which of your fics was most different from what you usually write?

Probably Dream Inside The Static (thriller/horror) ! Or Sous Le Ciel De Paris (somewhat anecdotal piece light on the plot and heavy on the introspection about inspiration and feeeelings).  

Which of your fics this year was most successful?

To All The Demons Under My Bed! I am actually kind of shocked how well-received this fic was. But I’m really happy, mostly because the lovely birthday girl really liked it <3

Which of your fics do you wish was more successful?

Dream Inside The Static is something I really love but has some of the least hits and kudos. Understandable - it’s a horror fic set in space with a bad ending xDDD I did get a lot of really lovely comments on it though, and enough ideas and speculation for a sequel in the near-future-sometime <3

What’s your favourite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?

Oh man, that’s hard. But probably this:

“...you’re so beautiful.” he murmurs, fingers brushing against Kyle’s cheek. He licks his lips nervously. “...you’re just...just like - “

“If you compare my eyes to some sort of fucking gemstone, I’m going to break your nose.” Kyle cuts in. His traitorous hands waste no time in grabbing onto the front of Kenny’s blazer. “And then I’m going to write a horrendously pretentious poem about it, title it your name and get it published in every magazine that I can get my hands on. Don’t try me.”

From Sous Le Ciel De Paris

Or this:

“I’ll send right over.” Kenny nods, reaching for the empty mugs. He waits until the other’s shoulders relax a fraction before speaking again. “But if you really are so worried about my sperm count, you are more then welcome to check. Make sure everything is alright.”

From Health Hazards

What’s your favourite piece of description or narration?

Another tough one...probably either this:

The scent soon winds its way to his nose, warm and heavy with spices he cannot name. The chatter is low and lively, most of the tables already occupied. A carefully painted night sky is splashed on the walls and across the ceiling, astronomically-accurate stars twinkling in luminescent paint. In the corner stands a vintage piano with well-loved ivory keys, a dozen small framed photographs balanced on top.  

From Catch Me If You Can, Chapter 3

Or this:

Sweet, round cheeks, with a button nose to match - a little crooked, as if broken years before, and smattered with freckles. His bangs curl around his face messily, thick enough to hide both his ears. When his lips tug into a self-conscious, close-lipped smile, it looks even sweeter than it ever did in his mind’s eye. And in that moment - watching the sunlight paint a dappled pattern over the freckled skin of Kenny’s nose - all of Stan’s sappy ramblings suddenly make sense.

From Seven Days To The Wolves

Which fic this year was most fun to write?

Probably taste for the cherry (I just need to take a bite). Writing sweet, raunchy romance set in a gay burlesque club was really fun. I need to write more Kyley-B, he is a riot. Also anything set in the Stick of Truth universe (Tell Me The Story Of Our Legacy, A Little Wicked) was just super fun. I really love writing political machinations and regency courting. Plus the aesthetics!!

If you could go back and change something about one of the fics you wrote this year, what would it be?

Mostly everything about Importance Of. Also, I would have loved to add a few more clues into the build-up of who the main villain of Catch Me If You Can turned out to be, because I feel like it comes a little out of left field. 

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

I am going to try this mysterious method of writing a few chapters ahead with my next multi-chapter fic instead of posting it right away. Try being the key word there! Otherwise I am going to attempt to stop posting things at 3am, as it leads to very harried corrections the next morning. 

(Fellow fic-writers, feel free to nick this, if you feel like doing it!)

It’s been an interesting year, getting back into writing after such a long time. I’m really grateful for all the wonderful people I got to meet, talk with, all the awesome projects I got the chance to take a part in, and for everyone who left me kudos, comments or reblogs on my stories. Thank you so, so much - I treasure them all. Here’s to next year! <3

#writing #end of year retrospective #lenespeakstothevoid #happy new year to you all <3 #thank you so much for everything

[bookcoversalt]

I Fixed it For You: Dark of the West

So this cover was sent to me by multiple people when it was revealed five days ago, on account of it being terrible, but in terms of stuff we cover on this blog, I consider it kind of unique case. It’s bad but it’s not garishly so; it’s fairly, though not entirely, Technically competent, with a straightforward hierarchy, no weird spacing, and photographs that are attractive and highly edited but not too artificial-looking, taken on their own. But all of the individual choices here contradict each other and are executed in a bizzare pastiche of moods, eras, and imagery that is super, super not working together, especially not when we consider the contents of the book. So before we get into my version, we have to like. Break this down. And we’re gonna use numbers.

OVERALL CONCEPT/ COMPOSITION: 2/10

This is a fantasy world war II book. That is extremely marketable. Also it is the year of our lord 2017 and we are gripped by tracked-out type and object covers. Yet this book decides to go with a GIRL IN PROM DRESS RUNNING AWAY FROM SOMETHING AND ALSO NOT LOOKING AT YOU cover like it's 2011, nary a narrative element in sight except the pathetic attempt at planes in the distance that we'll get to in a second. Why??? Did this happen ?????

I want to be clear that I don't hate GIRL IN PROM DRESS covers on principle. They were extremely popular for a while and thus there are many, many examples of them being done badly, and yes, they tend towards the generic, often sort of a cheap bid for visual Romance with minimal reflection of the story itself, BUT ALL THAT SAID, there's a reason they're appealing, and when done well they promise a specific sort of female protagonist oriented drama with a Sexy, often Dark aesthetic. And if you know me, you know I'm all about that. But WHY in the world would you not SELL THE FUCK out of your extremely marketable premise here? WWII planes attacking a fantasy castle is the important imagery, not a generic princess and the twenty-odd miles of wildly unthreatening landscape that stand between us and being interested in this book.

But even if, for some crazy reason, the princess really was the only viable central image for this book, this composition is still stiff and dull. A small lone central figure, paired with oversimplified type and nothing else with any visual weight to speak of, is super fucking boring; there’s also something a little weird about how far inwards everything sits, like it’s afraid of being cropped off?

If I had to say something nice about it overall, there’s a very dreamy, unreal feeling to it-- but not only is it ruined by the type (which I’ll get into) but it feels inappropriate. I want drama from this cover, not dreaminess.

GIRL IN PROM DRESS: 3/10

So setting aside the fact that I take issue with its very presence/ centrality, the image is well-edited, but loses big points for the costume, which looks like something I could pull off a Macy's juniors formalwear rack right this fucking second instead of, i don't know, SOMETHING ANALOGUE 1940S AS IF TO REPRESENT SOMETHING FROM THE CONTENTS OF THE BOOK. I'd forgive it if the dress was at least romantic or super pretty and thus contributing to tone, but it's not; the color isn't complimenting anything else on the cover and the style is more anachronistically modern than anything else.

Points are also lost for the weird contradictory lighting on her-- the backlight on the skirt is TECHNCIALLY correct or close enough to it, since we can see the sun there on her far left, but it's so bright on the bottom half of the dress that it's super distracting, and feels incongruous with the lighting in her face. And that's an easy fix? Just trim the image a little and cut off the tulle? She's clearly not actually embedded in the background. We also know this because of her 40% opacity feet, which, lol:

Also, someone was clearly like ROYALTY IS HOT WE NEED TO GET A CROWN IN THERE so it's... just chillin? I'm not at all against metaphorical imagery or crowns in general, but compositionally it looks silly and tacked-on.

WWII PLANES: 0/10

YOU DIDN'T TRY AT ALL.

I’M LITERALLY SO EMBARRASSED  FOR THIS COVER RIGHT NOW.

PASTORAL LANDSCAPE WITH CASTLE: 5/10

There's nothing wrong with this landscape except some overenthusiastic correction of of the dark values, presumably so it doesn't compete with the girl for attention. This just backfires and makes it overwhelmingly clear that the girl has been pasted on top of it, and turns the potential visual drama of a cloudy sunset into a sort of vague murky pastel thing that makes me want to take a nap. Other than that, this would look lovely on some other less terrible book cover.

TITLE TYPOGRAPHY: 2/10

When I said this cover is mostly Technically competent, this (and the planes) is the exception. This is the saddest attempt at grunge texture I've ever seen in my life. It's so depressing I want to start a nonprofit for it. Please attend my charity gala so that this poor plain type can afford to look properly distressed and not like someone blotted a dishwater-soaked tissue on the corners.

But regardless of the texture, heavy photomanips in particular need a strong typographic hand to tie them together tonally, so it is a massive disappointment to have such WILDLY generic letterforms taking up HALF OF THE COVER. It literally looks like a mockup, a quick comp just to demonstrate the idea to the creative director and you'll actually go back and use a REAL font and REAL grunge effects later, but oops, you forgot to edit it before it went to the printer. Also, what's with that color? If you want it to look gold, use a metallic effect or a texture. This is just ORANGE. At least it could have been the red of the dress and then something would have worked together?????

Additional Design Elements: 4/10

Inoffensive but WEAK use of Flourishes and dividing lines. Author name sitting on a weird place on the girl; why the choice not to nudge it down to hide the weird foot I called out earlier?

Overall median score: Bad, needed fixing.

Now we can talk about my design.

I don’t want to make this post much longer, so I won’t go too in depth in defending it, but it’s not immune to the inherent cheesiness of vast photomanip landscapes. That said, I went a lot Deeper than I generally do for fixes because I knew that somewhere, deep down, was a good composition waiting to be unearthed, and i totally think it was worth the effort. 

Focus is split almost equally between FLEEING (?) PRINCESS and the planes attacking the castle, with vast differences in depth generating interest and the overall composition sloping upwards, creating energy and a sense of action. The type had to be something heavy and solid enough to carry a grown-ass grunge texture (because i was determined to show how it should be done), but whimsical enough to keep us within the realm of princessey fantasy, and I added the floruishes on either side to that effect too. (the only Caveat to this redo is that I didn’t intentionally do away with the idea of the girl in a pricess dress, I just couldn’t find any images that worked, and this girl’s grungey jacket ends up suiting the mood, so.)

And I made it, uh, Dark. Because it’s in the title. it just seemed obvious.

Moral of the story: don’t forget the full potential of your type, lean into the inherent artificial nature of photomanip landscapes to max out your composition, and for fuck’s sake, don’t use pixellated planes.

If you like what I do on bookcoversalt, consider buying me a coffee?

#bookcoversalt #book cover design #graphic design #critique #Ko-Fi

[namitaylor99]

Critical Thinking

After discussing to my teacher about my project 2 concept and where I will be heading and achieving in the next couple days in order to produce my work. She advise me to complete an activity “Critical Thinking”. This activity involves me looking further into Shermans work and addressing her surrounding of the making of her work and how it impacted her work at the time. While I have done much research on Shermans art practice, and will be incorporating her aesthetic style by doing this activity it will allow me to understand and gain a deeper insight into her work conceptually and help me shape my own work. 

Name of Artist/Project

Cindy Sherman “Untitled #96″ 

1981

MediumChromogenic color print

61 cm × 120 cm (24 in × 48 in)

DESCRIPTION

The artists has captured a young girl lying on a tile floor looking away from the camera, while holding a scrunched up paper. The cropped image and the gaze looking out all creates a mysterious aroma. The use of subtle lighting projects a cinematic effect on the image as a whole, as if it has been taken out of a film, which I believe Shermans was trying to portray. The colour orange is shown consistently throughout the image and is balanced by the warm lighting tones.

VISUAL ANALYSIS / BROADER CONTEXT

Sherman, once again has transformed herself, adopting into the persona of a young teenage girl. The artists has projected a seductive and anxiety-inducing atmosphere that has been formed by the subtle elements and techniques used. This can been in the artificial light that appears almost theatrical or cinematographic, heightening the drama of the composition.

The artists camera work, of the horizontal format comments on the bold centrefold of men’s erotic magazines. In doing so she ultimately forces the viewer to reflect on this photographic cliche.

Shermans photograph, sparked many controversy within the court, becoming a source of intense debate and dividing critics over its implied social commentary.

In Untitled #96 it was argued that the aerial vantage point over the adolescent girl highlighted the victimisation of women in society. Contemporary critic Laura Mulvey understood the photograph as a comment on the 'phallic male gaze’ and the 'fetishization’ of women. As she explained, ’[the centrefolds] announce themselves as photographs and, as in a pinup, the model’s eroticism, and her pose, are directed towards the camera, and ultimately towards the spectator" (L. Mulvey quoted in Cindy Sherman, Museum of Modern Art, New York 2012, p. 31). Certainly there is a suggestion of the nave school girl with her burgeoning sexuality expressed in the apparently nonchalant upturned skirt, the bee-stung red lips, heavily blushed cheekbones and glossy, pillar box red nail varnish.

Much has been said of the motivations behind each of Sherman’s characters, viewers attempting to extrapolate the narratives beyond the artist’s original intentions. In Untitled #96, perhaps the most 'story-telling’ of the pictures, Sherman elaborated the scenario quite simply: “I was thinking of a young girl who may have been cleaning the kitchen for her mother and who ripped something out of the newspaper, something asking 'Are you lonely?’ or 'Do you want to be friends?’ or 'Do you want to go on a vacation?’ She’s cleaning the floor, she rips this out and she’s thinking about it” (C. Sherman quoted in P. Schjeldahl, Cindy Sherman, exh. cat., Akron Art Museum, 1987, p. 11). This simple explanation is reinforced by the picture’s composition in which no one element is prioritised over another, the face of the girl treated with the same dispassionate emphasis as the checkered linoleum floor

PERSONAL INTERPRETATION & EVALUATION

Analysing and viewing Shermans untitled #96, it’s interesting and fascinating in the way she has constructed a series challenging the whole notion around the Male Gaze. The horizontal format refers to the centrefold in men’s erotic magazines however while she was inspired by this composition, she also wanted to comment the feminist realm surround personal space.

Her artificial lighting in her images, creates this dramatic illusion of realism, as if the audience themselves are in the image. This creates a tension of feeling uncomfortable, where these highly sexual images makes us feel as if we shouldn’t be viewing them.

I personally believe Shermans Centrefold’s series was commenting on the Male Gaze and in a period of feminists rising she challenges these gaze really exploring what it means to be a women in this male influenced society.

_____________________

Development of Concept (brainstorming/dot points)

Analysing Cindy Sherman and her series ‘Centrefolds’, she explores the theme of the “Male Gaze”. She creates these photographic images inspired by erotic male magazines in order provoke controversy surrounding sexism. For Project 2, I have decided to ‘copy’ not only Sherman’s unique art practice of self portraiture, but extend on her conceptual idea further. I will be constructing three still images that hold many similarities to the image Untitled #96, of a young girl caught in the moment looking out into the world, unaware of her surroundings. However, I will be also raising questions of the development if sexism throughout the years, and how has women in society have evolved into more important roles

empowerment images of women (me lol) standing proud - being educated, not sexualised,

Blazers / ties - heightening masculinity

Stern looks not sexualised however project empowerment

Office ladies

Sherman’s use of high angle shots looking down at the subject - she makes women seem if they are objectified - perhaps using low angle shots to create an illusion of women feeling empowered in the office - knowledge is key

[subject-a0]

Thursdays [Part 1]

Covers

Thomas Brodie-Sangster x Reader

ALL | Next >

A/N: I’ve been feeling very… strange lately. I don’t really know how to explain it - like empty, kind of sad, okay at the same time? But anyway, that’s not important. I haven’t written in forever and I am severely inspired by Thomas Brodie Sangster’s new photographs from the Boys By Girls Magazine so here’s a little dabble, it was supposed to be a one shot but i’m getting tired and it felt right to end it where it did for now but I’m hoping to continue it (I’m scared that i wont find the time though huhu) Oh, and for the purposes of this I’m just going to ignore that TBS is filming the Death Cure at the moment lol, I hope I’m not too rusty on writing lol and more so, I hope you enjoy !!

The smell of new magazines were never really your favourite. It was this strong, almost rusty smell that punched you right in the nostrils when you pull back the plastic it had been encased in. Sure, when it was just one new magazine it was okay but the girth of the amount of glossy papers you had in your hands counted in a pile of eight. The stench was far from pleasant and this was what? The fifth bundle of new magazines you were placing in the cafe?

A sigh escapes you as you gathered the magazines and tapped their bases on the table to fix them properly before placing them face up on the table. The magazine at the very top of the pile had a masthead that read “Boys By Girls” with a photograph of a dashing young man with long chestnut hair slicked back, alluring dark eyes, toned arms peeking out from a black sleeveless top that was accented with red, and a crooked almost-smile on his lips.

“Ah? Finally fancy one of us English folk?” an accented voice teased as it passed behind you.

You straightened up immediately, eyes wide as they found your always teasing coworker who you were happy to call as not only your new best friend but also your flat mate. “I was just admiring the layout!” you defended as you followed her towards the front of the cafe.

Katie, your friend, rolled her blue eyes as she began tying up her blonde into a high ponytail. “Sure, love.”

“No, really!” you started as you put on your apron, “ Simple. Clean. Great choice of font.”

She nodded at you excessively which obviously meant she wasn’t buying it, “You know, you’ve been here for what, three months now? I know your a scholarship university nerd but don’t you think it’s about time you had a little fun and get yourself out there?”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself but Katie knew better to even give you the chance to respond, “And do not bloody dare give me the ‘I need more time to settle’ excuse. You already know your way around town without me, you’ve got rent and taking care of the flat in your routine, you’re killing it at university, you’re even better than me at this stupid cafe job and I’m the one actually working here - you’re only part time! Plus, you still get enough sleep. I don’t know how you do it but trust me, you have definitely settled in very well, Little Miss I’m-From-Abroad.”

“Okay, fine, I’ve settled.” you agree with a scoff as you move to take your place at the cashier in the cafe. “But I’m no hopeless romantic like you. Just because I may have stared at a stunning human being on the front of a magazine for a little over 2 seconds-“

“Oh you were staring for much longer, love.”

“Okay, well, for however long,” you exasperate, “It doesn’t stand for a signal to get myself out there. I just admire his appearance, I don’t have to do anything more than that.”

Katie rolls her eyes once more as she moves to the front entrance of the cafe, flipping the sign from ‘closed’ to ‘open’. “Suit yourself, Y/N, but the moment you turn into a fellow hopeless romantic like me I have the right to say I told you so.” she says with a smirk and a hand on her hip.

A laugh falls from your lips, “Alright, alright. I bestow you that right.”

Your friend beams, skipping to the cashier next to you. “Besides, you should choose a much more attainable English fella to chase after. That was Thomas Brodie-Sangster on that cover. You know that actor from Love, Actually and those Maze Runner films?”

“Oh!” you gasp, “No wonder he looks so familiar! He’s the one that looks like half his age in his films right?”

“That’s the one.” Katie says with a firm nod. “He is a looker though. I’ve never seen him in person but I have some friends who kind of know him. He’s a hard worker, loves bikes and spends most of his time with his family is all I know. He’s a really private person.”

You raised your eyebrows at the statement, “Hm, my kind of man. Low key, hard working, charming.”

Katie rolls her eyes at you yet again, “Aim low, Y/N. Aim low. You just got here don’t go thinking you’re gonna snag a hotshot like Thomas Brodie-Sangster just cause you moved to London 3 months ago.”

You laugh, “Trust me, it’s never going to happen.”

Katie laughs with you as the first few customers start to roll into the cafe. It was a Thursday morning, a day when you had no classes at university which was the perfect time to spend a whole day at your part time job serving coffee and pastries to cramming students, business men and women, professors during lunch break, hopeful romantics unlike Katie and everyone in between.

It was a decent job even if it was just part time. It got you the funds for rent, university - which was barely any since you were a scholar - and a tiny bit to spend but all you’ve been doing is saving it. Hm, perhaps Katie was right that you didn’t exactly do anything other than university, school and taking care of the flat. Maybe it was time to get yourself out there - not necessarily for the dating scene, but, maybe head out to a pub one night with your flatmate and her friends.

You shrugged at that thought after you served the third customer. “Those thoughts are not for today.” you thought as you remembered that you had some school work to go over during your break later.

You took a breath and smiled at the next customer, “Hi, I’m Y/N, what can I get you today?”

——————————

By the time you were nose in three different text books, hand scribbling messy notes into a notebook and eyes darting from printed text to the screen of your charging laptop the cafe was buzzing with all sorts of people and chatter. It was lunch break for you and Katie, with your friend deciding to eat out as usual. It was common for you to join her but again, you had other priorities.

You sat at one of the tables at the very back of the cafe, making sure to let Stephanie - a fellow part timer taking the lunch and afternoon shift on Thursdays - kick you out of the table if necessary, like when a customer had no where to sit.

You lightly hummed the song that cooed into your ears through your headset to block the busy lunch break chatter. “Just need to write a conclusion and format my references.” you think to yourself rather proudly, realising it had only been about an hour since you started your paper.

“Excuse me, is it alright if I sit here?”

You barely heard the soothing English voice - you swore British accents were something you would get used to but everyone just sounded so wonderful no matter what - over your music, but you already had the assumption that once you were talked to you had to boot out of the table.

Without looking up, you began to pull out your headset and closing the text books and your laptop quickly, “Sorry for the inconvenience, here’s you’re table. Is there anything that I can help y-“

“Oh, no, no please. It’s alright. I’m alone, please take your time packing up. You have quite a lot of stuff.” the man said politely as he set down his tray with a cup of coffee, a sandwich and a pocket book on the little space of the table you didn’t occupy.

You looked up then and your breath hitched with your eyes growing wide as they met with the polite man in front of you who smiled at you warmly. You felt your mouth part slightly but quickly caught it. There, standing in front of you, was the same dashing young man with long chestnut hair slicked back, alluring dark eyes, and crooked smile from the magazine cover that morning. The actor. What was his name? Thomas?

“Th-thank you.” you stutter, not really knowing what else to say as you mindlessly continued to pack up your things while staring at him. How in the world was this happening? You were literally just talking about this stunning human being - a celebrity at that - with your best friend and just like some ridiculous movie Katie probably sobbed at, there he was in front of you.

“Do you want any help with that?” he asks, motioning towards you.

“Oh! No, it’s fine, I don’t want to trouble you any further.” you say quickly, finally ripping your eyes off of him and piling the textbooks you had into a stack and closing your notebook then adding that to the pile.

He chuckled a bit, having already moved to pull out your laptop charger from the socket on the wall. “Please, you’re no trouble at all,” he started when he walked to step in front of you while transferring the hot charger from one hand to the next as his eyes scanned the little nameplate on your chest, “Y/N.”

You blushed either at the way he said your name or how kind he was for getting your charger for you. Either way you hoped he didn’t notice. Why on earth were you not born to have the social skills to interact with aesthetically pleasing human beings? You nodded and looked away as you muttered a squeak of a thank you and got the charger form him.

Your eyes landed on the cover of the magazine that he graced. Trying not to be as awkward as you already were, you attempted to spark a conversation. “Th-that’s you, isn’t it? Uh, Thomas…” you pipe, pointing at the magazine by the corner and not finishing his name since you couldn’t exactly remember it.

Thomas’s eyes followed to where you pointed and then it was his turn to look away. With a deep sigh, his lips form a straight line before admitting, “Uh, yeah, that would be me.”

Hearing him sigh made you want to slap yourself in the face. You just made this a thousand times worse. It astounded you how terrible you were at this. “I’m sorry, that must be so awkward for you. I’m so sorry.” you say quickly, wishing so much that you could just disappear.

Thomas chuckled and opened his mouth to respond but quickly shut it as he pulled a confused but expression and watched you quickly move to the stack of magazines. A smile couldn’t help but creep onto his face as he asked, “What are you doing?”

You quickly grabbed the Boys By Girls magazine at the top of the pile and then switched it to pile in the middle rather than sit on top, not once stopping in momentum of how quick you were and quick to embarrass yourself were. “I’m switching the magazines so you don’t have to be embarrassed or find yourself in this awkward situation. I can switch out ever pile in the shop - sorry, we just put the new ones on top.”

The boy laughed this time and it almost put a smile to your lips but you quickly looked up at him with a worried expression instead, “Unless of course you do want them on top? Then, I can definitely arrange for that.” you say hastily, and bend down once more to re-rearrange the magazines.

Thomas gently puts a hand to your arm before you can actually switch it up once more, “It’s alright. There is no need for that.” he starts then send you another one of those to-die-for crooked smiles,  “Thank you though, I really appreciate your concern.”

You retreat your arm from his touch slowly, reaching to scratch the back of your neck as you stood up, and smiled nervously, “All part of the job, sir.”

He smiles, “I can’t imagine all the baristas and personnel to be as kind as you. So thank you, really.”

You laugh awkwardly, feeling your cheeks heat up as you drop your arms to your sides and grip at the fabric of your jeans tightly. You avert your eyes for a moment and suddenly remembered that all your stuff still occupied most of his table. “Oh, I should go. I don’t want to keep you from your book and hog your space on the table.”

Thomas only chuckled, “It’s fine, no worries. Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“I’m alright, really, thank you.” you smile at him and he nods, takes his seat and watches as you begin to pile everything into a stack. You could feel his eyes on you and you prayed in your head that you wouldn’t topple over by the time you were going to carry this out. You have been luging around this much stuff for about 3 months now - this was definitely not the time to suddenly become clumsy.

“So I assume with all that stuff you’re studying uni and work part time here?” he suddenly says.

You were already coiling your headset wire to place on top of your laptop that sat on top of your notebook that sat on top of the three stacked text books. “Yeah,” you smile, not really knowing why he was still talking to you or why you were so willing to open up so quickly, “just moved in 3 months ago actually, I’m not from around here.”

He nods, leaning back on his chair and taking a sip from his coffee. He looked like a perfectly composited painting despite doing something as mundane as sipping a cup of joe. How was this guy even real? “That explains the accent.”

Your eyebrows scrunched up as you set the headset down, “What accent?”

Thomas only laughed and you found yourself laughing with him, “That’s really cool though, You’ve just moved here, got into university and already work a job after class?”

“I’m just really lucky, I guess, and I like to work. I know that’s weird,” you giggle, “but yeah, I work here as often as I can after class during the weekdays but I do have whole day shifts on Thursdays.”

He nods respectfully then his eyebrows furrow as if suddenly remembering something, ”Oh, were you done with what you were writing by the way?”

“Not really,” you admit as you piled the rest of your stuff: a pencil case and phone.

He frowned, “If you need the time to finish it, please do use the table. I’m alone and just reading a book, I wouldn’t mind the company.”

You clenched your jaw to try and stop your cheeks from blushing, “Oh, my break is ending in a bit actually so it’s fine I should have packed up earlier actually.” you laugh, “Thank you so much for the offer though, that’s very sweet of you.”

Thomas looks away for a second, a small smile forming on his lips before he looks back up at you, “You’re very welcome.”

“Well, I’ll be off, do enjoy your meal and book. I really like that one by the way, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.” you say, nodding towards the pocket book on his tray before picking up all your stuff. “If you need anything, I’m just at the counter. It was an honour meeting you, uh, Thomas.”

He smiles down at the book that you recognised as his fingers brush against the cover of it before looking back up at you, “The pleasure was mine, Y/N.”

You smile one more time, again hoping that he didn’t see the blush forming at your heated cheeks and quickly walked away with a small sigh of relief escaping you as you reached the back room of the cafe where you keep all your stuff, thankful that you hadn’t embarrassed yourself any further by falling or anything.

You set your stuff down and sat down at a small stool with a huff, burying your head in your hands. How on earth was this even happening. You just had a very, very pleasant conversation with Thomas Brodie-Sangster. A celebrity whose cover photo for a magazine you were literally ogling at just moments ago before opening the cafe. It felt like you were suddenly thrust into this fantasy dream world as if moving to England for your education wasn’t enough of a dream come true.

You took in deep and slow breaths, still not really letting the reality of the situation sink in. He was so sweet and charming and hella good looking. Now, you didn’t want to end up like a hopeless romantic like Katie and earn that ‘I told you so’ from her so soon but you couldn’t help it as you remembered that crooked smile that looked so much better in person. It really felt like he was being extra nice to you and even taking the time to know you and heck, he said he didn’t mind having you as company. What was this weird, squelching feeling rising in your stomach the more you thought about him? You wanted to blame it on the fact that you haven’t eaten much during the day but you knew that the real culprit was the beautiful human you had just met earlier.

But hey, it might have just been him being nice and polite. Maybe he was like that with everyone else? He was a celebrity, he had an image to uphold and maybe he was also raised incredibly well by his parents? Maybe it was just a mix of wonderful circumstances that made him an extra polite and sweet person to everyone. If someone were a special snowflake in this situation, it would be him not you.

“But then again…” you grunted at the thought, stomping your feet on the concrete floor once. Why were you even welcoming these thoughts? Just a moment ago all you could think about was your research paper - that by the way, wasn’t even finished yet. Well, okay, it was mostly finished. But Thomas Brodie-Sangster was still sitting out there and the not-so-awkward-kind-of-courageous-self in you said that the only way to find out was to chat with him again or stand in the counter and pray that he talked to you again.

Wow. You were starting to sound as desperate as Katie. Your eyes darted around the room, she wasn’t back from her break yet - where was she when you needed her? You groaned and slumped back into the wall.

You know what? Standing at the counter wasn’t a bad idea. Whether or not you met Thomas or if he was going to talk to you, you had to be out there for work anyway in a couple minutes. If he talked to you then - hooray! For some odd reason, these things were happening to you! Or you know, he needed a refill for his coffee or something. And if he didn’t talk to you - then at least you knew the forces of the universe weren’t going haywire.

You nodded at yourself and stood to your feet, quickly grabbing the apron and putting it on. You were definitely just over thinking this. All you had to do was do your job and whatever happened and will or won’t happen with the dashing and incredibly sweet man that was Thomas Brodie-Sangster will run its course.

You stood by the door for a moment, a certainly unnecessary wave of nerves flooding your system before you took a deep breath and stepped out.

#tbs imagine #thomas brodie-sangster #thomas brodie sangster #imagine #tmr cast imagine #thomas brodie-sangster imagine #tbs fanfic #tbs fic #tbs x reader #newt #tmr #tbs #thomas brodie-sangster x reader #thomas brodie sangster x reader #coffeeshop au #thursdays

[adreamingsongbird]

for the ship meme: dacejade

i was gonna be like “who’s dace lol” but like. yall. YALL. are u still wondering what my opinion on good ol davejade is??? im prETTY SURE U KNO BY NOW

Send me a ship and I will rate it:

notp / not really / meh / I could / sometimes / hell yes / my otp babbies

and answer:

Who is the most affectionate?

outwardly? definitely jade, in that she’s the one who initiates more hand-holding in public and whatnot. but dave is a quiet cuddlebug. he doesn’t really initiate affection as much, but gosh diddly darn if he doesn’t return it enthusiastically

Big spoon/Little spoon?

they alternate tbh, dave likes being big spoon normally but when hes having a bad day and jade just kind of wraps herself around him, that’s some very nice content right there. conversely, jade often curls up around bec or a stuffed animal, and dave curls up around her. 10/10

Most common argument?

uhhh shit man i used to have more detailed headcanons about this but i think jade might get frustrated at how dave never seems to want to talk about things that bother him and he might get prickly about how she’s too pushy sometimes

Favorite non-sexual activity?

cuddling, dancing, (attempts at) gardening, long walks on the beach where dave gets to take aesthetic-y photographs of his gf silhouetted against the waves at sunset

Who is most likely to carry the other?

flip a coin, fifty-fifty shot. 

Nicknames?

dave: half-ironically comes up with at least 57 pet names and endearments. uses all of them fairly often. sincerely tries to be sweet at least 75% of the timejade, giggling: “yo stridoodle!”dave: [looks directly into camera]

Who worries the most?

tbh dave? he just frets a lot more in general, though he doesn’t show it

Who tops?

nah

Who initiates kisses?

jade usually! but dave seeks affection by being a cling monster

Who wakes up first?

jade “i rise with the sun but also what the fuck is a sleep schedule” harley

Who says I love you first?

jade!!! it’s less of a big deal to her bc she grew up lonely and therefore tells everyone she’s close to that she loves them, but to affection-starved dave, it is a Moment To Remember

#the reason they dont get the otp spot is that rn i spend a lot of time thinking of victuuri bc im writing that giant fic and not thinking of #davejade #dave strider #jade harley #hs #phew! #Anon #answers