Ngl, Jungkook inviting us to make ramen and watch Suchwita with him at four o'clock in the morning feels like a leftover habit from living in the dorm.
Jungkook at 4am, standing in the doorway, the hallway light outlining him like a phantom specter, illuminating nothing but the whites of his big boba eyes: Hyung, I’m making noodles. Wanna come join me?
Jin, king of boundaries: *throws a pillow at his head*
Yoongi, already awake: Can’t, I’m working
Hobi: deep in beauty sleep but wakes up and joins without protest because he’s never said no to his baby, and he’s not about to start now
Namjoon: wakes suddenly at the sound of his baby requesting something, deems the request not life-or-death, and encourages Jungkook to go back to sleep
Jimin, eternal nightowl and caretaker: You sit, baby. I’ll make the noodles
Taehyung: understands the importance of Friendship Time. Has already queued up BTS’s J-Hope’s Funniest Moments in the living room and is mamba-ing to the intro music while he waits for the noodles to be cooked
THE GAYEST GAY I'VE SEEN TODAY Or: 2020 Grammys VLive ft. Usher, Namjoon and the Jeon-Parks, PART ONE
Poetic, no? No. Anywho:
When Jimin saw Usher at the 2020 Grammys ...
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I mean okay the man BARKED but who wouldn't?
In this house we.... say it with me... watch original content for truth and context and people who don't have doorknobs for braincells, amen. Plus it's 16 minutes of so much cute I CAN'T.
Two things. One: Usher defies gender and orientation. I'M NOT WRONG ABOUT THIS I KNOW MANY A STRAIGHT MAN WHO... okay. I KNOW MANY A BI MAN. But even the girl-leaning guys are like "but it's Usher tho" very much like... anyone who ever sees Jimin.
I'm JUST SAYING.
But , (b), Jimin has a type. He likes muscle men and smart men. He is not choosy about the color of skin over said muscles - if anything he has shown a fondess for chocolate and honey over vanilla. He is all about equality and appreciation of the male form.
WE KNOW THIS IS TRUE WE HAVE SEEN IT IN STORIES.
But still, not entirely my point. I'm GETTING TO IT.
The gayest gay I've seen in many a moment is Mr. Jeon over there. Keeping in mind that the Jeon-Parks, by 2020, were quite a well-established domestic partnership of the unstr8 variety, Koo's reactions are...fun to watch. Especially since, and this is important,
They were at the Grammys and therefore on Bang PD-watch.
Don't laugh. Bangwatch is real. The Toadlickkers have a little teensy bit of that right. A very little bit but it is there.
The Company has, at times, in my observation, very likely told the kids to keep it quiet down in front. And this was one of the most glaringly obvious of those times - we hardly saw the JPs together AT ALL. They were not in REACH of each other most of the night. Seating arrangements, even for this Live, were planned and executed with military precision and it shows.
Yeah.
I'm LIVING.
LOOK AT HIS FAAAACE the Jeon half of the household is almost worshipful. It's fair, because Jimin looks unearthly here. He is glowing. He is beautiful. The man is art and on a night when they all look fantastic, not least Koo himself, Jimin arguably outshone everyone on that stage. So, appreciation. Props to Koo, we love a man who knows what's going back to the hotel with him.
But also we have just the barest little hint of unease. First off, Usher, which even to Jungkook MIGHT be forgivable, even okay. It's Usher. But also they were onstage with Lil Nas X, not the least gay man in the world, and LNX is OUT OUT. No closets of gold or any precious metal for that man - who happens to be YOUNGER than Jungkook. And Jimin looked beautiful on that stage. Next to Namjoon.
And then there's Namjoon fangirling all over and he and Jimin are just kekekeing ON A LIVE where, I will remind you, JIMIN BARKED WHILE LOOKING LIKE THAT and...Jungkook kinda has to just sit there and take it, and this is one of those times where they know they are being watched by ARMY and also by Namjoon and by their boss and...
Namjoon knows it too. He KNOWS. And he LOVES to get his digs in on the guys when he can and can you blame him? The things this poor man has put up with over the years?
He is also very enjoying the beauty that is Jimin. They all do, anyway, but Joon was using every positional advantage he had -- not seriously flirting, it ain't like that with them. And he wasn't being mean-spirited about it. But he could, based on seating, enjoy some friendly skinship with his dongsaeng and there was not shit JeiKei could do about it. Bros will be bros, sometimes. Yes, even Kim Namjoon.
And that, as much as anything, was all up in there in Jungkookie's head. So much so that at one point he SNIFFS HOBI'S HAIR just for comfort reasons. You gotta see that, it's somewhere in the 9:00 minute, I knew I didn't have enough image space so it had to go, but you can look. Because right after that we get
Jeon Jungkook has had enough, kids. He's euphoric, he's professional, he's trying real hard to be cool but he has stayed away as long as he can take it. It's a good thing they're about to get to the champagne.
TO BE CONTINUED...