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#nbc brooklyn 99

Hecate: Hey, I love the sweater. Who you slaying tonight, Lady Killer?

Thanatos: Well she shall see what we shall see.

Hecate: No, you’re dressed exactly like the Lady Killer.

Thanatos: Damn it. This is Jeffrey Dahmer’s corduroys all over again.

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Persephone and Hades attempt at flirting…

Hades: You got a haircut. It looks nice.

Persephone: Oh, thanks. You also got a hair cut. At some point in your life, I’m sure. That’s not your baby hair. That would be crazy!

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Hecate: Hey, buddy. I’m sorry about Persephone.

Hades: It’s okay. I’m resigned to my life of solitude. Just me and my nine dogs.

Hecate: Wait. I thought you only had seven dogs?

Hades: I just adopted two online right now. Oh, this pitbull hates kids. That’s fine, I’ll never have any. Add to cart.

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Re: Minthe

Persephone: I mean, sure, we’re enemies, but in, like, a playful way. Like Tom and Jerry.

Persephone: Oh, my gods. Was Tom trying to eat Jerry? My whole life is a lie.

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After Hades skips guys’ night w/ the Big Idiot Squad…

Hades: You left 17 voicemails. Here’s one.

[phone message]

Zeus: Hades! You got to come save us. We need a lie to get you here. Poseidon, what should I say?

Poseidon: That I got shot in the face. Ooh, and tell him to bring pizza.

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Thanatos: Well, how do you know he’s even in a bad mood? It’s impossible to read that guy.


Hades: This is the most incompetent, worthless report I have ever read in my life. Get your act together, or so help me, you won’t live to see retirement!

*end flashback*

Thanatos: It’s like, what’s the guy thinking? You know?

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Hades: I am thankful to have someone in my life who gives me a reason to get out of bed every morning. And I hope that my relationship with this person will only grow … more intimate.

Hecate: Who are you talking about?

Hades: Umm. Thanatos.

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Hecate: So Persephone didn’t show up for work today. Any idea why?

Minthe: Oh yeah, I straight up drove her off. Big screw-up on my part. I’m trying this new thing where I just own my mistakes. I like it. Do you?

Hecate: I did. Until you bragged about it.

Minthe: Yeah.

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Persephone asks the goddess of love for advice.

Persephone: He’s my soul mate, Aphrodite. :(

Aphrodite: So he doesn’t like you. It happens.

Aphrodite: I mean, not to *me*, but not everyone has my combination of elegance and charm and grace and poise, and then just gif-ability. Some would say “jif,” but then some would also say “syrup.”

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I’m super hyped for the new B99 season, and I really hope they have Rosa find someone to have a long term, if not permanent, relationship with.

My only thing is this; do I want her in a relationship with a woman so that a healthy wlw relationship would be on TV, or do I want her in a relationship with a man so that it shows a bisexual person in a healthy relationship with someone of the opposite gender while still being represented as validly bisexual?

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Meanwhile, in the stakeout van…

Alecto: Maybe it’s time to put the creep kit away, Meg.

Tisiphone: Wait. Hades just walked up to a woman.

Megaera: A female woman?! Tisi, is it a female woman?!

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