ahole new world
For the wonderful @lunchtimerushin, this thing based on one of her drawings that I mentioned working on offhandedly centuries ago. Keep up the awesome drawing, and most importantly, keep being you ♡ I really hope you like it, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Thought number one in Nijimura Shuuzo’s head: Am I dead?
The Genie smiled up at him from his lap. “My wish is your command.”
Thought number two in Nijimura Shuuzo’s head: Can Genies see through pants?
He was promptly slapped in the face with a banana peel.
Numbly, Nijimura ignored the deeply disapproving glare from his grey-furred monkey and waited, paralysed, for the Genie to slip off his lap―rump hovering dangerously high in the air for a good ten blinks and two gulps―and stand up fully, before remembering that oxygen was thing.
The Genie stood―floated―5 feet 6 inches before him, wearing a cream white turban adorned with rubies and red silk, and donned very golden and very shiny jewellery that probably cost more than Nijimura’s house. (Which in reality, would not be very much, considering how Nijimura didn’t actually have a house.) A small red vest hung from its tiny frames, exposing the Genie’s (Nijimura suppressed the urge to kneel and weep) smooth, pale, well-toned chest and abdomen. He stared with rapt attention at the junction where his stomach disappeared into baggy leggings that hung obscenely low on the Genie’s hips, a cloud of sparkles trailing behind it in its wake — before realising he was staring, glimpsed the Genie staring at him, and deftly stared somewhere else.
Nijimura attempted to recall what he knew about magical beings, which was evidently precious little. Or maybe he knew more, just with this annoyingly beautiful, crimson-haired Genie dressed like, well, a Genie, his brain wasn’t exactly processing things as quickly as he wanted them to.
For starters, he knew that they appeared to those of exceptional spirit, who braved the treacherous path through the cave of wonders, and not on the laps of thieving nobodies. (Nijimura was fairly sure that he stole fruits and bread, not enchanted golden artefacts.) He knew that they were magical beings and could take on the shape of most anything in the world.
Why did this one have to look so damn attractive.
The Genie was now lying face-down in mid-air, cheek in its palm, smiling languidly at Nijimura. “I take it that this is your first meeting with that of my kind?”
“Um,” Nijimura replied, intelligently.
The Genie twinkled with laughter. Actually twinkled, like vampires in the sun, except twilight was an infinitely better love story than this, whatever this was. (And Nijimura hoped it was a love story. He hoped it would end with him kissing something. He hoped it would be the Genie.) “I shall take that as a yes,” said the Genie gently, floating closer to the bandit, as gracefully as Mary Poppins would, if she was a Genie. It nodded towards the monkey. “A very lively pet you have there, Master.” The monkey squinted hard at the Genie.
Nijimura cleared his throat, slowly coming to realise that he was capable of moving his limbs as Mayuzumi glared at the glowing red walking myth. “That’s Zoom.” A snort. “He’s, ah, temperamental.” He explained, and was hit in the face with another banana peel. “Okay okay, he’s more of a friend. Or like a guardian.” Nijimura cast a sideways glare at the monkey. “Like a really, really passive guardian.”
Mayuzumi ignored him and turned his attention to a golden book.
Nijimura wanted to argue that it was a monkey, couldn’t read and was holding it upside down, but then he felt a warm hand underneath his chin. He jerked his head so violently in the other direction he almost gave himself whiplash, and came face to face with the Genie. This is it, he felt his soul leave his body, this is how I die. Young, broke, and with an erection.
It tipped his chin up slightly. “I must say,” mused the Genie, turning his face this way and that as if scrutinising a flower vase for defects, “I’ve not had the good fortune of meeting mortals like Master in a millennia. I do wish to thank you for releasing me, Master.” Up close, the Genie was even more beautiful, and the sickly sweet aroma of exotic perfume increasingly intoxicating. “The lamp can get a little…” its little pink tongue flicked over its lips so close to his, so close he could just lean in and they would graze each others’, too close, holy shit, holy shit, “…lonely.”
The Genie finally hummed in approval, releasing his face and floating backwards. Nijimura swallowed.
Say something smart, said his subconscious. “Uh, thanks. I mean, you’re welcome. No problem. Man. Genie. Genie-man.” Try again. “I actually just came here to steal something from the treasury,” he blurted out, almost proudly, before realising he just told what was most likely the most powerful being in maybe all of the country that he was robbing its house.
Mayuzumi had doubled over, lowkey shrieking with laughter.
The Genie cocked its head to the side.
“Is that so?” Hummed the Genie before he could protest. “Should Master wish for wealth, Master would not be required to resort to such measures to ensure his financial stability any longer. Is that not Master’s first wish? Copious wealth?”
Nijimura winced a little at the blank look on the Genie’s face. Obviously, it wasn’t very impressed. Of course there were people before him that would have taken advantage of its powers, using up their wishes and leaving it here alone in the dark for another eternity. Still, what the hell was he supposed to say that would sound remotely noble now? He, a wanted criminal, had stumbled drunkenly into the single most heavily guarded area of the palace by total accident and somehow ended up scaling a fifty-foot tower, into the treasury?
“Firstly,” Nijimura rubbed his nape, “you’re gonna need to stop with the Master shit. Just…Nijimura is fine. Secondly, don’t I need to know your name or something?”
“As you command, Nijimura-san.” It bowed, then cocked its head to the side. “My name is whatever Nijimura-san wishes for it to be.”
He rolled his eyes. “C'mon, name.”
The Genie blinked. “A long time ago, my name was Akashi. Akashi Seijuro.”
A forlorn look came over Akashi’s handsome features as if recalling a time before he was sealed inside the jar, but the look was gone as quickly as it came. “So?” It smiled warmly, floating around in lazy circles around him. “What is it that Master desires the most? Fame? Wealth?” Visages of golden coins and riches swirled up in smoke in its hands. Their gazes locked. “Love?”
Nijimura physically felt his knees liquifying.
He probably would have glared at Mayuzumi for beaning him in the head with another banana peel, but took it as a wake-up call to reality. He had to get his shit together before it came out the wrong end of his body. Or the correct end. Both equally horrible outcomes in their own right.
“I’m…looking for this magical cure, or something. The locals…they, uh, said it’s hidden somewhere in here.” Nijimura looked away. “It’s…well, it’s my Dad, you see. He’s just been getting sicker lately. None of the meds I can afford is working―I can’t afford anymore as it is. And my siblings, they’re so small but they’re just so exhausted with worry that I just—” He drew a deep breath, and watched it leave his mouth in a freezing mist to the frigid night air. “It’s my only request.”
Akashi gazed at him with sympathy in his eyes, and his voice took a more tender, softer tone when he spoke. “I’m sorry to hear that, Nijimura-san. Though I hate to disappoint you, I don’t have that kind of miracle drug here.” He paused, slanting a peculiar smile over his shoulder. “Not in medicine form, anyway.”
A spark of hope relit in Nijimura’s heart. Startled, he scrambled to his feet to gawk up like a peasant at the Genie. Desperation riddled his voice. “So there is one? God, please, I’d do anything—”
The Genie laughed heartily for a bit, before spreading his arms out before him invitingly. “No need to search, Nijimura-san. You are looking right at it.”
“Oh.” A sudden revelation overcame Nijimura. “Oh! Do I just…wish for it then? Draw like, some pentagram in the sand, exchange a limb, or something?” A small look of horror overcame his features for a bit. “Oh god, exchange a limb…”
Akashi waved off his worries, descending slowly to the ground. “Nothing of that sort, Nijimura-san. I require only one simple thing from you.”
He listened in earnest as the Genie leaned nearer and nearer until the being was once more dangerously close to his face. Damn these Genies and their lack of spatial awareness. Nijimura swallowed. “Uh, sure. What is it?”
“The fables happen to have got it slightly wrong, you see.” Akashi’s breath was hot against his ear. “For your wishes to be granted, you must first touch your lips to the Genie’s for a bond to be created.”
As the bandit fell gracefully ass-first to the ground, choking on his spit, Akashi knelt and peered up at Nijimura from beneath the curtain of his lashes. “So Master?” He smiled with all the benevolence of a meteor hurtling straight into Earth. “What is your wish?”
I’m going to die, Nijimura thinks, impressed. This Genie is going to kill me.