#no one talk to me i'm too full of rage and i'll roast

[lovelyirony]

tis Truly a Bad Day 

#no one to hang with because once again i'm the last option! i mean why wouldn't i be #today was just bad at work #my sister said we were gonna do something fun today and ditched me #lmao of course she did i'm never the first option am i #god this is sad boi hours #no one talk to me i'm too full of rage and i'll roast

[tamiddyinyourcity]

1:13am.

I could kill a person with a look alone. If anyone enters this room, they might turn to stone.

(That's the poet version of "I feel exhausted, and angry, craving sugar, and upset".)

Monday, April 27th of 2020.

What's on my mind?:

Rowan is a lying cunt. Shoutout to Mr. Patches here, for the oh so classic "I'm not talking to any other girls" card you pulled, just for after my tweets the other day, WHEW, BOY, DID SOME VERY NICE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE A LOT OF--

I promised secrecy, but all I'll say is... Fuck you, Rowan. I feel much less bad about what I said to you now. And ironic, that the reason I left ended up 100% being accurate.

I would be hurt at knowing that he was pulling the "come onnnn, who CARES about long distance, we can make it wooork, it's gonna be us quarantined for months anyways so why not just get to connect now????", while simultaneously going "Well I'm not sure if long distance could work", excuse after excuse while never actually giving me the closure I'd need, by still continuing to lead me on anyway..... And I took the way he described using long distance "as an excuse" to one girl he's mentioned to me, as a signal of, "You're gonna end up clingy to him and sad just like her, if you keep sticking around."

Shoutout to Rowan. Life isn't as hard as one thinks. Wanna play the field? Say that. Want a harem? Say that. Just looking for fun? Say thaaaaaaat. God, why are they like this.

And I see why his bitch ass tried to claim he didn't act "relationshippy" with me..... Since he uses the same pet names and pervy attitude with hella other girls, and probably is used to it, meanwhile the girls are genuinely creeped out by him doing that too..... See, this is why a guy like him is single. I'd go more in depth to explain how creepy he was to one girl, but I promised not to....

I'll just be happy that I can remove all guilt now, since my intuition was 100% correct. And if he only raged at me the other day since multiple hoes now know he was sexting me, creeping on me, and insulting me willy nilly.... Then boohoo bitch, keep it in your pants next time.

And a bit of annoyance is present as well. So for the rest of my life, the only way to keep a man, is to not be interested in them at all?????????? Hell, Marco stuck around even an entire year after we first fucked, solely since he found me attractive and wanted to "prove himself to me". Its terrible. Whoever decided to make me bisexual instead of a full on lesbian made a mistake, all it does is make me want to fight men.

All Ro had to do was stay in his place with the sexual shit. Once a guy starts doing the "beautiful/angel/sweetheart/love" thing is the annoying part.... Like for fucks sake! Its a sexual dynamic! Don't make it W E I R D. And then they make it weird... and if I reciprocate, they suddenly wanna hit me with that "Well I don't get how you took me hitting you up constantly and calling you pet names outside of sexual context, flirting and praising you, nonstop talking, and showering you with attention as remotely romantic?????" Shit like that makes me want to punch a whore like him in the throat, but thankfully, he is in the UK.

It ruins the fun of a fling. Since damn nigga, have ur fun if u want, but crossing boundaries and being extra ruins it. Fuck's sake.

I hate this so much. I wanna go out, get dressed up, enjoy the sun with some gelato, enjoy myself.... this is really not enjoying myself.

I also really need sex. Dildos..... suck, honestly. They're too rigid, and are not attached to a man with nice hands to rub up and down by back during deep strokes, so what's the point????????

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I need sugar, desperately. I ran out of my snacks in my storage.... or well, the cookies I mean.... not in the mood to find my honey roasted peanuts, tbh.

But desperate times call for very desperate measures.

1:36am. I think I may be internally bleeding again, but hard to say... I please hope that I can get actual good sex when this ends. Or even just basic intimacy. A HUG OR SOMETHING! MAYBE A KISS ON THE CHEEK! AN ENDEARING HAND HOLD????? SOMEONES FOREHEAD RESTING ON MINE? A CUDDLE?

Aaaaaa! I could cry, really. My eyes are watering, i miss getting actual physical affection.

Gonna go eat something to make my stomach taste anything other than chicken and brown rice. Peace yalls.