Hell, what I wouldn't do
Just to make a sound, make it real loud
My god, I can't stop it, I let it win
I bet it won't mean a thing
You said it don't mean a thing
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“O dia hoje começou com o pé esquerdo, devido à chuva da noite passada eu acordei tarde, também estava cansado porque fui dormir tarde trabalhando, mas a chuva sempre me faz ficar preguiçoso, e recluso. Quando acordei pela manhã pude ouvir de longe o resto de chuva que caia sobre o telhado da casa. Me enrolei de volta nos lençóis, sem me preocupar com o atraso numa sexta-feira de dia nublado. Todavia eu tinha esquecido que quando chove a cidade para, de modo que é impossível chegar no horário. Sair de casa nas pressas, bebi um café rápido que tinha gosto de café velho, e sair. Tentei pensar na melhor rota para chegar no trabalho não muito atrasado, mesmo que fosse impossível. As ruas congestionadas, barulho de buzinas, pessoas nos passeios se esbarrando, um verdadeiro pandemônio. Fiquei preso no engarrafamento da via principal, ainda sonolento liguei o rádio na tentativa de não apagar sob o volante. De forma costumeira eu não ouço nada pela manhã e não é um tipo de ritual prosaico, eu só preciso de silêncio porque não funciono pela manhã.
Mas era um dia incomum, eu precisava ouvir algo ou dormiria, troquei de estações várias vezes, a maioria das rádios estavam falando do engarrafamento da sexta e de como a cidade estava um caos, e eu não precisava dessa informação, estava visível, até eu deitado na cama sabia que a cidade estaria um caos. Desliguei a rádio, não tinha nada de interessante e aquele ruído constante e diálogos infinitos e a entonação entusiasmada me cansaram. O dia estava nublado, um cinza imenso cobria o céu e a estrada até onde a vista podia alcançar estava poluída de faróis e buzinas, e para piorar o sol que parecia estar escondido atrás de algum outro planeta começou a aparecer, aparecer com seu calor porque o céu continuava cinza. Comecei a suar, e sentir o mormaço tomar conta do interior do carro, sentir vontade de morrer instantaneamente, morrer de uma vez por todas e ir para a outra vida descansar de tudo isso, mas isso era apenas o calor falando por mim. Eu odeio o calor, e nasci numa das cidades mais quentes do nordeste, acho que Deus errou nos cálculos. Tirei os sapatos, inclinei o banco para trás, e tentei descansar, mas era impossível, o barulho, o mormaço, a luz que atravessava o para-brisa do carro, a inquietação, o desconforto, a vida, tudo me era penoso. Em plena uma sexta-feira de dia nublado eu desejei desesperadamente não estar vivo, mas era um desejo antigo que já andava comigo como amigo, como um sentimento afetuoso, o desejo de não ser, de não ter que existir, era antes de tudo um desejo escondido que eu alimentava no interior do meu eu, todavia hoje eu confessei isso para mim mesmo. Era cansaço, um cansaço que não tinha fim, um cansaço que cobria toda a minha carne humana, nervos, e conseguia ir mais fundo atravessando aquilo que chamamos de alma humana, sim, eu estava por completo vencido por um mal-estar e não havia o que ser feito. Assim como não se tinha o que fazer no transito sem espaço. Só aceitar, e esperar que a estrada ficasse livre e que a chuva cessasse, e o sol aparecesse, mas que não me judiasse.”
Cotidiano.
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๋࣭ ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ both our eyes lock to the tide.
— a neteyam sully short prose.
- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ people say this love’s for show, but i would die for you in secret. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
— taylor swift, ‘peace’.
┊͙ ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ ੈ✩‧₊˚
synopsis :
In the forest, grey clouds mirror internal turmoil. Neteyam emerges in the rain, offering solace, an anchor.
characters : neteyam x gender!neutral o.c
story type — word count : short prose • 373
genre — mini-tropes : fluff, hurt/comfort • two characters in the rain.
warning(s) : bomb metaphor
song inspiration(s) : anchor by novo amor
author’s notes : author’s note : ahh omg. this is my first prose that i’m publicly posting as ‘fanfiction’ on tumblr because i haven’t posted any of my writings on any form of media platform in like years. so, my writing’s a little ‘rusty’. short proses are what i’ll be sticking with for a while just to practice and fight against writers block, but hope to be able to write full one-shots and series one day! anyways, thank u sm for 100 likes, the reblogs on my last post! i love u guys sm and i’m so excited to start my tumblr journey here with y’all! <3
GREY clouds dangerously overshadowed the forest, looming over your head, parallel to the spiralling thoughts which consumed you. Once again, raindrops collided against the dew-kissed grass you sunk your feet in.
Pit-a-pat.
Humming against your knees that were tucked to your chest, you grazed your calloused fingers over the bioluminescent freckles of your arms, outlining and swirling small circles along the soft sensitive skin of your forearm.
Tick.
It was like there was a bomb in your head. You had been cradling it, desperately wishing for it to never explode.
But alas, it inevitably will.
And he would be a soft-blow.
At first, it was slow footsteps you hear. Then, they inched closer until it fell to a stop. From what your ears picked up, it was barely a foot shy away now — though, you did not want to hear anything other than the drizzles coming from the impending storm.
“Hey.”
It was a voice distinct from yours and immediately you knew who it was.
“Neteyam?”
Head slightly raised from the pit between your knees, you peered over your shoulder to take a look at the boy behind you.
There he stood, a calm expression consuming his visage.
You smile, helplessly. “It’s you.”
“Yeah, it’s me.” He seizes the empty spot beside where you sat curled up. Neteyam always had his ways of finding you, even when you did not intend for anyone to know about your whereabouts. It was getting dangerous, he thought.
Once again, he had found you in the rain.
Underneath the clouds, he can see a second one over your head.
“If your cascade ocean blues come, you can always talk to me.”
Because he would always be there, letting your waves crash against him — his skin, his body, everything.
Your tears were a sea for him to swim, being an anchor to any ship that came in. Whether it was a high-tide or a low-tide, it did not matter. There was no difference.
His words were a simple display of care. Yet, it meant the world. The world the two of you could close your eyes and see.
The world the two of you could build together.
Tock.
The bomb which you had tried to disarm yourself with no avail, did not go off. He had taken it in his hands and disarmed it for you.
Like he knew how to manoeuvre through its coloured wires and fixed it for you.
One day, you would learn how to do the same. For yourself and him. When things get too hard for the both of you and when both your ocean waves crash against each other. When it gets all-consuming and too much.
You will find an anchor within each other to latch onto.
To disarm.
“Thank you.”
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5am: alternative || indie rock || dream pop
[ listen on spotify ]
“we’ve got work in the morning, but it’s nearly 5am”
silhouette - aquilo / mystery of love - sufjan stevens / state lines - novo amor / time frame - fractures / 5AM - amber run / wide eyed - billy lockett / flaws - vancouver sleep clinic / oceans - seafret / you there - aquilo / hope - old sea brigade / bird - billie marten / the night we met - lord huron / flesh and bone - keaton henson / peasants - houses / roslyn - bon iver, st. vincent / by night - puzzle muteson / fall apart - the careful ones / alps - novo amor, lowswimmer / blindside - aquilo / gameplay - ports
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ough ok novo amor got me like
“heal your frays, just to know you’ll wear them thin again”
“are you sure, did you call? did we ever really talk? … dear, i wouldn’t bet your heart down / clear, but i couldn’t get my head around”
“all your love, overgrown / all your body, undersold / all above, all your waiting coming home”
“let me get my head aligned / help my life be worth your while / bend my arm, i won’t be far at all”
“crawl / i bet you all froze when i said “i’m done” / and i wasn’t gold, i know / sweat it out cold til you’re bleeding sun / sit it out, sweat it out, i’m going home”
THERE’S MORE. THESE ARE JUST WHAT COMES TO MIND.
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