Love is a spider
꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
Pairing: og8 X gn reader
Genre: Comfort/hurt
Word Count: 9.5K
A/N: To the requester, I may have went a bit overboard by a bit. Can you blame me? Anyway, in these drabbles, you're a bit of a people pleaser and the guys kind of clock you for it. Some of them are softer than others. Hyunjin's is a little angsty because a little angst adds some spice.
I'm so sorry this is out a little later than planned. I have had literally one of the worst weeks of the entire year. I hope that never happens again. Never fear, life goes on and we keep trudging along. I hope everyone is slaying and finding their own versions of happiness. It's almost over now, but happy six years to the band!!
You can ignore the rest of this, but I'm going to ramble because people pleasing can really suck. I wish brains weren't wired that way because people pleasing is not the least bit swell when it's destroying you from the inside out. Some of you baddies out there need to hear that it's okay to put up boundaries and focus on your own happiness.
I wish someone would have screamed that in my face at some point when I was younger. It is okay and normal to put up boundaries. It is not okay for people to walk all over you, belittle you, and cause you mental or physical harm. You are allowed to take up space.
There is one quote that says "stop breaking yourself down into bite-sized pieces. Stay whole and let them choke." I love that quote. I used to be one of the biggest people pleasers around and it made me so miserable to the point where I quite literally had a full mental breakdown. We're only meant for so much until we break.
Practice makes perfect and the more you practice saying no, the better you get at it. The better you get, the easier it is to reinforce boundaries. The stronger the boundaries, the more strength you have, the easier it is to say no. It's so much easier said than done, but I swear, once you start it, it makes life so much easier.
Also the title of this drabble is inspired by the song 'Spider' by Kai Bosch. It's so good and actually one of my favorites at the moment. I keep looping it because that's how much I like it. Now that I've rambled, please enjoy <3
_ _ _
Chan:
Dating Chan had its pros and cons. On one hand, you never had a better relationship with anyone before. Since he was so used to being out in public and interacting with multiple different people, Chan wasn’t afraid of your romantic relationship.
He knew what he wanted and he communicated everything perfectly. Every want, every need, every like, and every dislike, you knew them. On the other hand, you were still figuring out how relationships worked properly. The last romantic relationship you fell into, it left you scarred in more ways than one.
That’s why it took you so long to finally agree to meeting the rest of Chan’s band. It was a huge step outside your comfort zone. The whole day, Chan had been gushing and practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.
You weren’t just nervous, you were terrified. Your stomach churned uncomfortably with anxiety. You kept zoning out and internally freaking out. There were so many thoughts inside your head.
What if they didn’t like you? What if you made an awful first impression? What if you screwed something up and made a fool out of yourself? What if they thought you were insufferable? On and on, the thoughts spiraled out of control.
Before you knew it, Chan was driving you to his dorm. It was the place where he figured you’d be the most comfortable. Plus, the guys could scatter about and do their own things. All the attention didn’t have to be on you.
It seemed to be going alright for the first few minutes. Chan introduced all the guys to you and a few minutes later, you needed to use the bathroom. Glancing around for Chan, he had moved out into the kitchen to help Lee Know and Felix with cooking.
Left alone amongst the other guys, you sucked in a deep breath trying to contain your inner panic. A few feet away, Han picked up on your discomfort and asked if you were alright. Upon realizing that he knew your mood, you quickly apologized.
He brushed it off and more time went by. Eventually, you were led to the bathroom. When you came out, you bumped straight into Seungmin. Apologies flew out of your mouth rather quickly. He laughed and brushed it off.
You apologized multiple times throughout the night, even when apologies weren’t needed. Like the time you accidentally spilled your drink. When you sat in a seat that was apparently reserved for Jeongin. When you grabbed a paper towel for Chan and accidentally tore a rip across it.
Chan knew you struggled with anxiety sometimes, but as the night went on, he started realizing just how much you were apologizing. Every time you did it, you looked terrified, almost like you’d be yelled at or lectured. It was to the point where it was getting concerning.
Felix made brownies for dessert. While eating one of them, crumbs fell on your shirt. When Hyunjin pointed them out and began laughing, along with an added joke from Seungmin, you looked like you were about to cry.
Beside you, Chan shot the two of them a warning glare to knock it off. They quickly changed the subject to taunting Jeongin for a terrible dance move he performed during practice. The attention went off of you and onto the three of them.
While the guys were distracted, Chan grabbed your hand and tugged you into the safety of his room. It smelled like the cologne he always wore. Comfort flooded your system easily.
“I’m really sorry,” you started after a few moments.
Chan frowned, feeling confused, “for what?”
“For messing up this thing with the guys. I understand if you want to break up with me. Actually, I can just let myself out.” You reached an arm out and headed towards the door.
Chan leaned forward and grabbed your wrist gently. “Baby, what are you talking about? You haven’t messed anything up.”
“I’m a mess. I’ve ruined so many things tonight. I’m sorry, I-” A lump began to form in your throat.
Chan gently pushed a finger towards your lips. “Why are you apologizing so much? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
You moved your head away with a sniffle. “Yes, I have. I’ve done dumb things and made people uncomfortable. Apologizing is the right thing to do.”
“Made people uncomfortable? You haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings.”
“I took Jeongin’s chair for dinner.”
“That’s not a big deal, baby. The guys never have assigned seats. They were just screwing around like they always do. Did something happen somewhere that made you feel like you always have to apologize?”
“But it’s the right thing to do.”
“Yeah, when the time is right. You don’t need to apologize over the small things, sweetheart.”
“The last person I dated kind of made me feel really shitty a lot. They didn’t like a lot of the things that I did and they weren’t afraid to tell me.”
“So…you apologized?” Chan guessed with a raised eyebrow.
You nodded.
“From now on, you’re not allowed to apologize for little things. Every time you apologize for something little during the rest of the night, I’m kissing you in front of the guys.”
“We can’t do that! I’m sorry, but w-” You were cut off with soft lips against your own for a few moments. When Chan pulled away, your cheeks were dark red. You swallowed and tried to regain your composure.
“Aw, you’re so cute when you blush. I guess you’d better stop apologizing, I mean, unless you want the guys to see us kissing.” A teasing grin began to stretch across his face.
Without even thinking about it, you reached up and playfully slapped his chest. Realizing what you did, panic flooded your face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry! I-”
You were cut off once again by his lips against yours.
_ _ _
Minho:
With a sigh, Minho kicked off his shoes and placed his car and house key onto the stand by the door. He jerked off his jacket and hung it up on a hanger. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he crept towards your shared bedroom door.
His feet slid over the floor through the darkened house. His fingers grabbed the brass knob to the bedroom and he slowly opened it. The soft hum of the fan filled the air. The room was pitch dark. He pushed the door open further and stepped inside.
“Minho?” Your voice called out. You popped up out of your bundle of blankets and turned on the bedside lamp. Both of you blinked at the sudden brightness.
“You’re up?” He asked. “You’re seriously up, again? Baby, it’s really late and you have work early in the morning. I know you want to see me, but you need to get some sleep.”
“I know, but I wanted to see you.” A frown filled your face. “I missed you so much and I just couldn’t wait.”
He moved over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. You watched his bare back as he ripped off his shirt and slid into a different one. Realizing you were staring after a few seconds, you averted your eyes. “So how was your day?”
“It was alright,” he shrugged.
“You’re not going to give me the specifics?”
“Nope. Not now. We can talk about that in the morning. Right now, you need to get some sleep.”
“But I-”
“Nope. Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you’re sleep deprived.”
“But I’m not!” You tried to argue back.
“Is that why you keep taking naps on the weekends?”
“Well…” You couldn’t fight back because he got you there. Staying up after midnight really was taking a toll considering that you had to be up at six in the morning. The days you stayed up later, you struggled through exhaustion.
Lately, you spent your days nursing coffee and energy drinks, trying to bring back the momentum, but they could only do so much. Recently, it seemed like you were more irritable and Minho was right. Brown bags sat beneath your eyes, your energy was low, and your co-workers kept making sure you were alright.
“I don’t want to make you unhappy,” you finally got out. “I really love you, you know? You usually look really excited when I’m still up. I like greeting you when you get home. I just want to make you happy.”
Minho headed over towards the bed, pulled down the blankets, and slipped beside you. “You make me happy in a lot of ways and I love you too. Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings if you’re sleeping when I get home. In fact, I want you to be sleeping.”
“I love seeing you, but you look really cute when you’re asleep too. Imagine if you woke up in my arms. That sounds so exciting. Imagine you get enough sleep and you wake up to me holding you. The perks? You get enough sleep and I get to snuggle you.”
“And you’re okay with that? Because I could continue to stay up and I-”
He leaned up and lightly flicked your nose. “You need to get some sleep before your co-workers show up at our house. Yesterday, you said you were really freaking one guy out because you kept falling asleep while standing up.”
You finally nodded in agreement. He tugged you towards his chest and plopped down on his pillow. “When we wake up, we’ll have the most amazing breakfast and I’ll tell you all about my day and you can tell me about your day.”
“Promise?” You asked.
He nodded and shut his eyes. You laid there soaking in his warmth until you shifted. You shut your eyes, but nothing happened. You shifted again and again until Minho opened his eyes again. “What are you doing?”
“I can’t get comfortable and my brain won’t shut off.”
“Probably because I came home an hour earlier tonight. Your body is used to going to bed around the time I come home later.”
“I can’t help it!” You huffed clearly annoyed as your lips stuck out in a pout. “I feel like something is missing, but I don’t know what.”
“Maybe if you wouldn’t have been a brat and stayed up until I got home,” he started.
You stuck your tongue out at him and shifted again. Silence filled the room as the two of you tried to sleep. After a few more minutes, you jerked into a sitting up position. Beside you, Minho frowned with his eyes closed. “I think you’re right, something is missing.”
You thought about it for a while before your eyes widened. You jerked off the blankets and scrambled to get out of the bed. Beside you, Minho finally sat up and watched you nearly faceplant as you left. “Where are you going?”
“We forgot to get the cats!”
“The cats?” His face twisted in confusion. “The ca- Holy shit! We forgot the cats!” He shoved off his own blankets and scrambled after you.
Twenty minutes later, the two of you were sound asleep. Snuggled in different parts of the blankets were Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. The five of you fell asleep rather quickly comforted by the warmth of one another and the tranquility that transpired around the room.
_ _ _
Changbin:
During the first week that you dated Changbin, you bought him a shirt he mentioned he wanted to you in passing. When he unwrapped the soft pink wrapping paper and he unraveled the shirt, the happiness sparkling in his eyes locked in your brain.
During the second week of your relationship, he mentioned he really liked a new drink that he found at the grocery store. When he joked that it was the only thing he wanted to drink from now on, you took that seriously. You bought him multiple packs of it to keep in his dorm refrigerator.
When the second week wrapped into the third, you bought him a new pair of Airpods because he lost the last pair. You couldn’t stand his frown and how bummed he was about it. When you replaced the exact case that he had also lost, he nearly hugged you to death.
He didn’t realize what you were doing at first. At first, he thought your actions were cute. He knew some people showed their love through giving gifts. Sure, he felt a little guilty about it, but you looked so happy when you handed them to him. You were practically a little ball of sunshine that he couldn’t resist.
The last thing you got him, you took your time wrapping it, and you brought it straight into the JYP recording studio. You knew that he’d be there finishing up his recordings. As you were going in with your box, Chan and Han were coming out.
“Oh,” Han’s eyes lit up, “what’s that?”
“I bet it’s another gift,” Chan teased.
“Wow, Changbin is so lucky.”
“You really know how to spoil him rotten.”
You laughed and responded. After talking for a few more moments, the two walked off to head back to their dorm. Apparently, Changbin was still inside finishing up the last few lyrics of a song.
You knocked a few times before you pushed open the door. Changbin was in a black t-shirt with a face mask tucked beneath his chin. His eyes were narrowed down in a notebook and his pencil scribbled rapidly. “What did you forget this time?”
“Uh…nothing?”
“Oh!” His face lit up. “It’s you! Hi, baby! Give me a moment to finish writing these lyrics. How did you get inside? I didn’t think security would have let you in.”
“Well, they probably wouldn’t have, but Felix was talking to the security guard when I came up. He told him to let me in because the two of us were dating. The security guard seemed hesitant, but Felix does what Felix does best.”
“Melts the hearts of everyone around him with his angelic being?”
“Yeah, something like that.” You laughed and placed the wrapped box down on the studio couch. Changbin continued scribbling for a bit and you stood patiently with your hands folded in front of you.
“Alright, I’m finished!” He pushed his chair away from the wooden desk he was crouched over and glanced back towards you. “Should we go get dinn- oh, what’s that?”
“It’s a present.”
“That looks like an awfully big present. Should I be scared?” He raised an eyebrow as he studied the light green wrapping paper. There was a big silver bow on the top of it.
“I think you’re really going to like it.” You picked it up and handed it to him. He was shocked by just how big it was. The thing easily fit across the length of his lap.
He hesitated before he grabbed a piece of the folded paper along the side. A loud rip filled the air as he jerked it. At first, his face lit up as he revealed the internal packaging, but it didn’t take long before his face fell.
You purchased him the lego set that he had been admiring in the window of your latest trip to the mall. The lego set was pretty big and it easily cost a couple hundred bucks. At first the gesture was sweet, but this was too much.
“You don’t like it?” Your voice came out softly.
“No, no, no! I-I do, but I…” He sighed and sucked in a deep breath. “Baby, why do you buy me so many gifts?” His eyes went up to meet yours. There was genuine curiosity on his face.
“You don’t like the gifts?”
“I do like the gifts, but I’m starting to think you’re spending way too much money on me. Why do you feel the need to buy me so many gifts? A lot of what you’ve been buying costs quite a bit of money. I don’t want you to waste your hard earned money on me.”
“I’m not wasting my money on you.” You suddenly felt like the size of a grape. All that happiness and joy in your heart, all that excitement slipped out of your heart like a deflated balloon. “I just wanna make you happy.”
“Honey, you make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, even without these big gifts. I like that you want to make me feel happy, but this,” he tapped the box of legos, “this is too much. I feel bad for receiving this. This costed so much of your money.”
You couldn’t help it, tears filled your eyes. He instantly frowned and shifted. You frantically blinked trying to keep them from falling, but they dripped onto your cheeks. You wiped them away as Changbin placed the legos onto the floor. He leaned over and pulled you close to him.
“Hey, hey, hey, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I don’t want you to spend all this money on me. I want you to spend all this money on you. I want you to be selfish for yourself.”
He wiped more fallen tears and tugged you onto his lap. You sniffled and allowed him to. “Why do you feel like you need to buy me such large items?”
“I-I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’m not good enough. Maybe if I buy you things you really like, maybe you’ll stick around. Maybe I can buy your love and I-”
“Woah, woah, woah. Buy my love?” He gently cupped your cheeks between his hands. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to buy my love. Not at all! I’m with you because I love you. I wouldn’t be with someone if I didn’t like them.”
“I’m afraid you’ll leave,” you whispered.
His heart broke even more and he shook his head. “If I was ever thinking about leaving you, I’d bring it up to you. I wouldn’t keep you in the dark about anything like that. Relationships are very serious things and I’d never shut you out or try to hurt your feelings on purpose. Never.”
“So no more gifts?” You asked.
“Well, I won’t say that. You seem like you really like giving gifts, right?”
You nodded your head. He wiped his thumbs beneath your eyes again. “If you’d like to give me gifts, how about something small? Like maybe one of my favorite snacks? Or you could do something else.”
“Like?”
“We could go on adventures together. We can go half and half and go on fun dates. Hyunjin just recently told me about a couple’s private pottery class that his pottery teacher hosts. How about something like that? We’ll make memories together, have fun, and we’ll have a shared experience.”
“I guess that does sound pretty good.”
He smiled and gently poked your cheek trying to cheer you up even more. You blushed and couldn’t help, but smile back. Your eyes went down to the lego set beside your feet. “Are you really going to make me take it back?”
“Why not?”
“Because I really want you to have it and I spent good money on that. Plus, I don’t want to go back to the mall. They’re going to ask why I want to return it and I’m not good at lying. I don’t want to admit that my boyfriend didn’t want it.”
“Well…” Changbin’s eyes followed yours. “It is a really cool lego set and you did spend a bunch on it. I would like you to take it back, but I will admit that it’d look super cool in my room.”
“So will you keep it just this once?”
He sighed before he caved. “I suppose, but this is it! If you do something like this again, I’m forcing you to take it back. I’ll hold your hand and drag you into the store. I’ll make it as dramatic as possible, so you’ll be too embarrassed to ever do it again.”
Your cheeks went red again as you nodded in agreement. Changbin’s gaze went back up to you. “So how about we take this back to my dorm with the rest of the guys? I’ll order us food and we can put this together. Maybe we can have the other guys help us because this is going to take hours.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Maybe even a full year to put together.”
“I don’t think that’s how this works.”
“You don’t know that. What if it takes a century? How about a millennium?”
“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.”
“I can’t help it!” He tossed his hands in the air. “I live with Hyunjinnie! What did you expect to happen? 3racha doesn’t just rub off on Hyunjin, he rubs off on us too!”
_ _ _
Hyunjin:
“You’re being such a fucking bitch!”
They were just words, but it might as well have been a slap in the face. The look of hurt on your face was one that Hyunjin would never forget as he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door after him. He slammed it hard enough that the walls shook.
You shut your eyes and sucked in a deep breath trying not to cry. You were under a lot of stress from work and he was under stress from some stupid controversy that had happened with his band. It was a minor thing, but the management team was grilling all of them behind the scenes.
The argument was just a simple miscommunication on both your ends. You were both irritated and frustrated due to external factors. It wasn’t much of a surprise when the two of you started to argue, but you didn’t think it’d get this far.
With your head down, you walked over to the couch. You collapsed onto it and curled your head into the arm. The mixture of high strung emotions whirled into a tornado and now both of you were hurt. Your heart ached due to the cursing and all Hyunjin could feel was guilt.
You cried and cried and cried until you ended up crying yourself to sleep in the living room. Outside, Hyunjin went on a walk trying to clear his head. He couldn’t believe he had said something like that to you. He was absolutely gutted about it.
If there was an award for the world’s shittiest boyfriend, he’d have it in the bag. He couldn’t believe he fucked up this badly and it was absolutely unforgivable. His brain started to spiral out of control.
What if you broke up with him? What if you never wanted to see him again? What if you went to the public and released this information to the press and the fans? He nearly had himself in tears as he took off running back towards the apartment. God, what would his band members think? They’d never forgive him for this.
Nearly tripping over his feet, soaked in sweat, he shoved open the door and rushed inside. He walked through the brightly lit living room and was about to head towards your room until he found you curled up into a ball on the edge of the leather couch.
For the first few moments, he was smitten. Your back moved up and down slowly as soft snores came from your mouth. He couldn’t have been outside longer than twenty minutes.
It was quickly ripped apart when he remembered what he did. Remembering it was like a knife fileted across his stomach. He sucked in a deep breath, moved over to you, and gently shook your shoulder. He softly called your name trying to get you to wake up.
You shifted at the touch and hummed softly. Your eyelashes were clumped together from tears. When you jerked your head and blearily opened your eyes, Hyunjin’s heart crumbled at the sight of your bloodshot eyes.
“Baby?” His voice called out softly. He gently stretched a hand out towards you. He held his breath waiting for your reaction.
“Hmm?”
He sat down beside you quickly and tugged you into his lap. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I’m so sorry for calling you a bitch. I-I don’t know how to make it up to you, but it’ll never happen again.” His eyes became glossier as he spoke. His voice wavered as if he was on the verge of tears.
“It’s fine,” you weakly got out. “We were both upset and you snapped. It’s not a big deal.”
“But it is a big deal. I hurt you terribly and said something that never should have come out of my mouth. Darling, I’m so, so, so sorry.”
“I’ve been called worse,” you mumbled. You were still half asleep with your head on his chest. “I was kinda being a bitch, so you weren’t wrong.”
“No, you weren’t! I was being an asshole. Please don’t ever accept me calling you names. Never accept anyone calling you names. It’s pathetic and it’s low. You’re so much better than that.”
“Not really,” you shook your head, “it’s okay, seriously.”
Tears dripped down Hyunjin’s cheeks. Not only had he done the unimaginable, but now he realized you had low self-esteem. He shook his head, unable to accept your words.
“No, it’s not okay. You are beautiful and you are lovely. You are a wonderful person and you’re very intelligent. You’re someone I can’t live without and, best of all, you’re my muse. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”
“I-”
He cut you off, “no. You don’t get to say mean things about yourself. You don’t get to accept what I told you. I was a fucking piece of shit and I hate that I can’t take back the words. I’m sorry, so please, if it’s okay with you, just let me hold you for a while.”
The tears were back in your own eyes as you nodded. You had been called a variety of names in your lifetime. Once upon a time, with an awful friend, you accepted every awful thing they said about you. You were too afraid to stand up for yourself, so you took in the words constantly.
You heard them so much that you began to believe them. Internally, those words had damaged you far more than you’d ever admit. There were thorns in your heart that still jutted out.
Sure, Hyunjin’s words and the actions that followed, they really were wrong. Nothing he could say could take them back, but, at least, he was trying to make it right. You couldn’t stand the way he looked with tears in his eyes.
You adjusted yourself and wrapped around his torso like a koala. He hugged you against his chest tight and rested his head on top of yours. He was so glad that you were still here and were willing to hear him out.
_ _ _
Han:
“I’m really sorry,” you got out with a grimace. “I know, I know I shouldn’t, but she’s my friend. I can’t leave her hanging all alone. She’s a mom now and I bet that’s really exhausting.”
Han frowned while watching you lace up your shoes. For the third time, you were canceling the date that the two of you were supposed to go on. All he wanted to do was spend time with you, but your friend kept taking advantage of your kindness.
It was okay, at first, and he understood. Parenting could be hard and it was healthy to take breaks. However, your friend kept constantly asking you to watch her kid. She never paid you for it and she asked in the spur of the moment. There was never time to preplan anything which kept throwing off what you had with Han.
Your boyfriend’s patience and understanding only went so far. In your eyes, you were trying to be a good friend. In his eyes, you were being used as a free babysitter because your friend didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of having a kid. It was frustrating and it was annoying, especially when it kept ruining your date nights.
“I’ll be back later,” you managed to get out. You were starting to feel upset about the situation yourself. Dealing with a baby, one that was only a few months old, was a lot of work.
After being at work all day, you wanted to lie down and cuddle with Han. You wanted to go with him to do some low energy activity and then come back home and cuddle. Both of you were introverted and you liked it that way.
Dating an introvert was the best decision you ever made. Sure, occasionally, the two of you liked to go do something you both enjoyed. Most of your time was spent at home where you were relaxed. You weren’t overstimulated and you weren’t overwhelmed.
“What’s the reasoning this time?” Han grumbled, unable to stop himself from being bitter. He was tired of your friend’s bullshit. If she wanted you to watch her kid so much, the least she could do was pay you.
“Um…” You trailed off knowing that your response would upset him.
“Is it something dumb?”
“I-I guess,” you shrugged, “she wants to go to the bar.”
“Are you being serious?” He whined. “Baby, that’s not fair! She can wait until the weekend to get plastered, it’s literally only Tuesday! I made restaurant reservations in an hour and now I have to move them again!”
“I’m really sorry, but she’s my friend.”
“She’s using you!”
“But she ju-”
“Why are you making excuses for her? You know that I’m right. This isn’t helping your relationship with her. You’re not getting paid for this either. You’re babysitting her child and now, when she gets home, you’ll have to babysit her too because she’s going to come home drunk.”
“What am I supposed to do? She’s my friend! I can’t just leave her to suffer alone and I-”
“Woah,” his eyes widened in shock, “since when is parenting suffering? Your friend knew what she was getting into and you know it. She planned this pregnancy and she went on and on and on about all the baby books she read.”
“I know that it’s hard to be a single-parent. It’s overwhelming and it’s awful, but you know what? I love you!” Your face scrunched up in confusion from his words. “And I don’t like seeing you being taken advantage of because you’re too kind.”
“You keep chasing after your friend and you keep giving her an excuse to abandon her duties as a parent to go have fun. It’d be different if this was planned in advance and if you were being paid for it or something, but she keeps doing this!”
“But-”
He held up his hand to silence you. “This time she wants to go to a bar. The last time, she had a nail appointment. The time before that? She wanted to go to the bar again. When you’re a parent, you have to do what’s best for your child and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself.”
You stayed silent hating that he was right. Ever since your friend gave birth, she had been leaning on you a lot. It made sense, in the beginning, and you didn’t mind, but it was starting to become a huge issue.
It’s not that you didn’t like her child because you did. He was adorable and he listened well, but you didn’t want to have a kid and the responsibilities that came with it. At least, not at this time.
“I don’t want to hurt her feelings,” you finally admitted. “I feel really shitty if I say no. I just…I don’t want to be an asshole.”
“I know you don’t.” Han walked towards you, grabbed your hands, and tugged you off the couch. “But does it really make you an asshole if you’re putting yourself first? Sometimes you have to give people some tough love. Your friend can’t avoid her parenting responsibilities forever.”
You let out a sigh and nodded your head. “I’ll go talk to her. I’ll come back and-” You paused before your eyes met his own sparkling eyes. “Is it alright if I meet you at the restaurant?”
“Really?”
You nodded again.
He screeched in delight and jerked you over his shoulder. You shrieked as he spun around and bounced a few times. Your shrieks turned into laughter as he cheered.
Once he finished, he put you back down. “I’m so proud of you for creating boundaries.” He reached over and planted a gentle kiss on your lips. “I’ll text you the restaurant location and then we’re getting drinks to celebrate. Now,” he shoved you towards the door, “get out and go talk to your friend.”
“I believe in you and you can do this! No matter what happens, even if it backfires, you’ve got this! Honeybun, you can do anything and handle any problem that comes your way. Wait!” He rushed towards you and placed a kiss on your cheek. “For good luck!” He beamed.
You laughed and thanked him as you left the apartment. Once you were outside, you sucked in a deep breath. This was terrifying and anxiety-inducing. You were sure your friend would be upset at your decision, but Han was right, you couldn’t keep bowing down to your friend and watching her kid all the time.
It wasn’t making you happy. It wasn’t fair to the baby because you weren’t their parent. It wasn’t fair that your friend was able to keep avoiding responsibilities either. As you approached your car, you reminded yourself silently that Han believed in you. In turn, it made you believe in yourself too.
_ _ _
Felix:
It was all going wrong. Everything was going wrong. Felix’s birthday was today and you were screwing up massively. You had everything planned out perfectly and then your mother ruined it.
Usually, you put aside extra money to splurge on things. You weren’t the best when it came to money. In fact, you struggled with it. Every time you had money, all you wanted to do was spend it. It was a bad habit that you had just yet to break.
Lately, you had bought a few gifts for Felix. You picked out a few new games for his Nintendo Switch that you’d thought he’d like. Plus, you found a few new articles of clothes that were his style. You even managed to purchase a bottle of the fancy cologne he liked to wear because you realized he was getting low on it.
You splurged on the wrapping paper and the gift bags. Gift wrapping wasn’t your forte, but you were determined to impress Felix. This was the first year the two of you were dating and you were excited to throw him his own small party between the two of you. You spent nearly three hours on YouTube studying the perfect way to wrap gifts.
When you found the video you liked the most, you took another two hours following along and neatly following the tutorials. You kept the gifts hidden beneath your bed and away from Felix for a few days, so he had no idea.
You went out of your way to design a special cake. There was a bakery in the area that had raving reviews. They made custom cakes and you already had an idea of a cake you wanted to create. Since he spent so much time playing Animal Crossing and listening to Animal Crossing music, you wanted to get him to follow that theme.
You were making a simple sketch of what you wanted. You planned to take it down to the bakery and have them create it. You had a price range and everything. Everything was perfect and then your phone rang.
You were on your way towards the bakery, it wasn’t far away. When you picked up the phone, you realized it was your mom. You swiped the call and pressed the phone up to your ear. “Hello?” You answered.
You paused and listened for a moment before your face fell. “Did you seriously? Mom!” You cried out. You couldn’t help the frustration that built up in your voice.
“Don’t you ‘mom’ me!” Your mother shot back. “You’re old enough that you should be giving back to me. I helped raise you! I put food on your plate and a roof over your head! I fed you and I gave you an education.”
You gritted your teeth and rolled your eyes at her response. After a while, you hung up the phone frustrated and upset. You returned back home and tried to fall back into your usual upbeat persona. You must have done a good job because Felix didn’t realize that something was wrong.
The day before, you went to your mother’s house to help her make a meal. You put the small backpack you carried with your jacket. What you didn’t realize was that while you were out cooking, your mother got into your things and stole the cash you pulled out of the bank, specifically, for Felix’s cake.
She constantly harassed you for money and sometimes you gave in. You couldn’t help it. Every time she pulled out the excuse of raising you, you felt guilty. It was like a kick to the back of the knees and you collapsed every time.
You struggled to figure out what to do. You didn’t want to borrow money from anyone. You definitely weren’t going to make Felix buy his own cake. You didn’t want to wait until the end of the week before your next paycheck came in, so you decided on the next best thing.
The next best thing, apparently, wasn’t the best idea. You thought you were making the recipe right for homemade cake, two days later. Everything was going alright until you tasted the batter. You instantly gagged and spit out the mixture.
As you flipped back through the recipe, you realized that you had followed the recipe perfectly. However, you somehow managed to mix salt with sugar. The supposed sweetened batter was now a salty wreck.
You cursed beneath your breath and dumped the mixture. You pulled out another bowl to remake and remeasure everything. While you were trying to recreate the recipe, Felix walked right into the kitchen.
His sudden appearance caught you way off guard. You jumped while pouring flour and suddenly the bowl of half-made liquid cake was coated in way too much flour. A lump sat in the back of your throat as your face fell.
“Oh,” Felix frowned, “I’m so sorry, baby. I thought you heard me come through the door. What are you making? I’ll help you remake it.” He sent you a reassuring smile, reached over, set a hand on top of your head, and playfully messed up your hair.
All you could think about was how much he would have loved the Animal Crossing cake. The cake would have been moist and light. The frosting wouldn’t be too sweet and it wouldn’t overwhelm him.
A strangled squabble came from your throat. Felix blinked in confusion and raised an eyebrow. “Baby, are you alright?”
“I was supposed to get you a cake!” You blurted out. “I had this plan to get you an amazing cake with Tom Nook on it. I was going to recreate your little house and your character. It was going to be so cute and t-then-” you sucked in a shaky breath feeling like you were going to cry. “My mom took my money when I was at her house. I-I’m so sorry.”
“It was going to be a cute cake. It was going to be custom made and it was supposed to be here, but I couldn’t even pay to have the bakers make it. I wanted to put it here and surprise you. I was going to make you a homemade one to try and make up for it, but I keep fucking it up.”
A soft smile filled Felix’s face. “You were going to get an Animal Crossing cake for me?”
“You love that game a lot.”
“And I also love you a lot. It was an incredibly sweet idea, but don’t beat yourself up over it. I’ll be more than happy to have anything you bake me. I know you’d bake a homemade cake with plenty of love. That’s something that Tom Nook doesn’t know anything about.”
You suddenly broke into a laugh as tears filled your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you finally finished. “I’m just really not having a great day. I should be having the best day ever. You popped out of your mom’s womb on this day and that was the greatest gift of all.”
“Woah, okay, how about we stop right there?” He laughed. “We really don’t need to talk about my mother’s womb.”
“I should call her and thank her.”
“I don’t know how she’d respond to that. So anyway, what about your mom stealing your money? Is she going to give it back?”
And so, you and Felix worked side-by-side making a third cake batter and placing it in the oven. He listened to you ramble about your mom while the two of you tossed ingredients into a bowl. You explained how guilty she made you feel and how you’d occasionally give her money because of that guilt.
“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s healthy. You don’t owe your parents anything. As a parent, it’s their responsibility to provide for you. They shouldn’t be making you feel guilty for that.”
“I can’t help it, it’s the people pleasing part of me.”
“I understand because I’m like that too sometimes. You’ve just gotta do what’s best for you. Your mom can be a little…um….”
“Crazy?” You finished for him.
“Well, I was looking for a nicer word, but yes. She can be a little much sometimes. You seem to be a lot happier when you don’t interact with her. I think you should focus on what makes you happy.”
The two of you continued to talk. When the cake was baked, Felix leaned over to pull it from the oven, and you rushed to your room to grab the presents you had. He placed the cake on the stove to let it cool. When he turned back around, he blinked in shock.
A few wrapped presents and a gift bag sat upon the counter that the two of you had just cleaned up a few moments prior. When his curious eyes met yours, you smiled at him. “Just because I couldn’t get the cake, it doesn’t mean I couldn’t spoil you with gifts. Happy birthday, baby.”
_ _ _
Seungmin:
Seungmin’s heart stopped beating when he heard you sobbing. He just came home from the studio. There wasn’t time to take off his shoes. His brain instantly went to the worst thing and he sprinted towards the sound.
He didn’t knock, he just shoved the bedroom door open with wide eyes. You were a wreck with your face in the pillow. He rushed towards you in a panic. “Hey, hey, hey, why are you crying?” He hurried over and plopped down beside you.
His hand instantly went towards your back to comfort you. Upon hearing his voice, you cried into your pillow harder. There was something embarrassing about being vulnerable in front of your significant other.
“Baby, please talk to me. I don’t know what’s wrong if you don’t tell me. Did something happen?” He gently scooped his hands beneath your stomach and shifted you into a sitting position.
A thousand what-ifs were locked into his head. You sucked in a shaky deep breath and let out another sob. He frowned and wiped your tears away. You hiccuped through the final few sobs.
“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered in a shrill voice. “I-I just-”
“It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you like this.” He frowned and wiped away your tears.
“M-My friend,” you managed to get out.
“Your friend? What happened? Did they get injured?” Fear struck his heart. “Did they die?”
You shook your head again frantically and your hair shook from side to side. “T-They just keep saying things a-and-” You burst into another sob.
His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His arms wrapped around you while you sobbed. While he held you close to him, there was a vibration from beside you as your phone received another notification. Your fingers clenched around his arm and you cried harder.
Seungmin tried to console you, but you were a mess. He pressed his lips against the top of your scalp and continued to fight off your tears. He shushed you and rubbed your back. When your phone vibrated again, he finally glanced down at your phone.
Your head was buried in his chest. You were a wreck from what your friend was telling you. More quick vibrations filled your phone with every text sent your way. Seungmin’s eyes didn’t leave the screen as more and more text notifications filled the screen.
“Baby, who’s texting you?”
You didn’t respond. Your fingers clutched onto his shirt tighter. You buried your head in his chest more as if it’d help you escape your inner turmoil. The tighter you clung to him, the more worried he became.
He’d never seen you to the point of being unconsolable. Sure, you had your rough days before, but not like this. When your phone vibrated again, he didn’t ask. He reached over, unlocked your phone, and he glanced at the text messages.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he definitely wasn’t expecting to find one of your close friends screaming every obscenity at you imaginable in capitalized letters. His jaw instantly clenched and his hand tightened around your phone screen.
“Baby, why the fuck are you being cursed out?”
“B-Because,” you hiccuped, “I said I didn’t want to hang out with them.”
“So why are they cursing at you?”
“They’re always like this when they don’t get their way. I’m h-having-” you hiccuped again, “a bad day and t-this just-”
“Was your tipping point?”
You sniffled and nodded. Seungmin frowned and scrolled through a few previous text messages. “They’re really always like this?”
“They’re kind of mean when they have a bad day.”
“Kind of?” Bewilderment stretched his eyebrows up. “Kind of?”
He read a little more and gasped. “I know this dumbfuck didn’t just call my significant other ugly. Now we have our own little beef. Ugly? Have they considered looking in the mirror? The love of my life is no such thing.”
He didn’t even ask, he just responded. When he was quiet for a while, you pulled your head out of his chest with wet cheeks. “What are yo-”
“Putting this cunt in their place.”
“Seungmin!” You cried shocked at the insult.
“Don’t ‘Seungmin’ me. They just said you looked like you were inbred and they have a big storm coming their way. I won’t let an ugly cunt insult the love of my life. Not when they look like they were shaken in the womb and came out disfigured in more ways than one.”
“You cannot be mean back!” You reached out and attempted to grab your phone. He jerked it out of your reach. “Seungmin!”
“I’m just getting to the good part, baby. Wait until I tell them that a New York City rat has more manners and class than them.”
“Seungmin!”
“Swing low and I go lower,” he shrugged innocently, “maybe they shouldn’t have been so mean. They can start it, but I’m ending it.”
You sighed, but you let him go. He seemed to be really focused on your phone. His eyes were narrowed and his thumbs moved frantically over the screen. He typed for quite a while before he hit the send button.
“Do I even want to know what you said?”
“Nope. Don’t worry,” he pressed a few more buttons, “because now you never have to deal with them again.”
“What did you do?”
“Blocked them after giving them a long insult that will be sure to affect their family for multiple generations after them.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I’m not going to sit by and let an asshole insult my favorite person.”
You softened instantly and glanced up at him with heart eyes. “I’m your favorite person.”
“Maybe. It might have just slipped out. Anyway,” he stood up and grabbed your arm. You followed along and let him lead you into the bathroom. He pushed you in front of him and stood with his hands on your shoulders. You stood staring at your reflections in the bathroom mirror.
“What are we doing?”
“You’re going to repeat after me.”
“But I-”
“Nope, you’re not getting out of this. We’re going to stand here for five minutes and recite positive affirmations to dust off that negativity. After that, who knows, I might put a curse on that motherfucker.”
“Seungmin!”
“I’ll let Changbin beat them up and allow Lee Know to shove them in the air-fryer. Just wait until Felix finds out what they did to my precious gem. The sunshine is going to turn into a tornado and rip them apart. Now repeat after me, I am beautiful.”
You hesitated at first, but after a while, you were repeating the affirmations through laughter and smiles as Seungmin tickled you. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone off on your friend, but you were precious to him and he hated to see you cry. He’d do anything to cheer you up.
_ _ _
Jeongin:
Another day meant another chance to thrive. In your case, it was another day to sleep whenever you could fit it. Today, it was in your car. You barely got into the driveway and got the car turned off. You instantly slumped forward and pressed your head against the cool steering wheel. You fell asleep rather quickly and were like that for a while.
Jeongin was used to coming home and finding your car in the parking lot. You got home an hour before him on most days. It wasn’t much of a surprise when he saw your familiar car in the parking lot. He parked his car behind you and shut it off.
After climbing out, he yawned and lifted his arms above his head in a stretch. There were a few quick pops from his spine and he hissed. Today, the band had dance practice. His body was sore in more than one area.
He shook out his limbs and began to head towards the apartment until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. With a frown, he glanced over towards your car. It took him a moment before he made your slumped figure out in the driver’s seat.
His eyes filled with horror and he rushed towards your side of the car. He gripped the side of the car and tugged on the handle. Unfortunately, it was locked. Panic engulfed him and he knocked on your window frantically.
You groaned at the noise interrupting your sleep. You shifted, but you didn’t lift up your head. Upon seeing this, he knocked at your window harder and tried to tug the handle again.
Realizing someone was attempting to get into your car, you finally glanced up to find your boyfriend at your window. His eyes were full of concern as he gestured for you to unlock the car.
You reached over, hit the unlock button, and you yawned. Jeongin flung the door open and hurried to your side. “Are you okay? Baby, please look at me.”
When your sleepy eyes met his, his worry increased. He gently grabbed your chin and turned your head to the side. His eyes scanned for a head injury. “Are you alright, sweetheart? Did you hit your head? Did you pass out or something? Have you eaten anything?”
“Hmm?”
“You were unconscious in the car.”
“Oh, yeah,” you shrugged, “I fell asleep.”
He let out a sigh of relief, stroked your chin a few times, and finally let go. “You scared the fuck out of me. I thought something had happened and I was going to have to call an ambulance. If you wouldn’t have unlocked the car, I probably would have broken the window.”
“I’m alright, I swear. I’m just tired, that’s all.” You rubbed your eyes with another yawn. “I’ve gotta head inside and get some sleep. My boss is probably going to want me to come into the office again early and stay late.”
“Baby, with all due respect, you’re like a walking zombie. I know you like pleasing your boss and the money is good, but this isn’t healthy for you.”
You let out a groan, but Jeongin stood his ground. “I know you don’t like hearing it, but you know I’m right. You need to focus on what’s best for you. Sometimes that means making sacrifices that might make other people unhappy, occasionally.”
He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Let’s get you inside and taken care of. Have you eaten anything today?”
“I haven’t had time, honestly.”
He frowned again, but he didn’t lecture you. “Let’s start there and then we can go on. Let’s get you a quick bite to eat and then get you to bed, alright?”
You nodded in agreement. He held out his hand and you intertwined your fingers with his. You let him slowly tug you towards the house. Still half-asleep, you didn’t mind the babying he was doing for you. He plopped you down in a kitchen chair.
You rested your head in your hand and nearly fell back asleep. He quickly made the two of you instant ramen cups to share. You were teetering on the edge of conscious and unconsciousness. He gently shook you awake, so you can eat.
The two of you managed to have a decent conversation despite your yawns and tired voice. You managed to get halfway through the ramen before you nearly knocked it over as your body twitched while falling asleep.
He chuckled and moved your ramen away from you. “Alright, come on, let’s go.” He stood up, grabbed your hands, and gently tugged you up. “Let’s go get you all tucked in, sleepyhead.”
You hummed in agreement and let him lead you to the bed. He helped you out of your work clothes and into a pair of pajamas. When he was finished, he led you towards the bed and he tucked you beneath the covers.
Bending over you, he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” you sleepily mumbled with your eyes shut.
“Promise you’ll start to work less overtime? I don’t want you to fall asleep on the road and get into a car accident. I want you to be safe and healthy.”
You weakly nodded your head in agreement. He planted another kiss on your head before he laid down beside you. Happily, you snuggled into his warmth. His arms wrapped around you and he rested his head on top of yours.
You fell asleep rather quickly, but it took a little longer for him to follow. He was nearly asleep until your phone chirped with a new notification. Groggily, he reached over and grabbed your phone off the side table.
He stared at the text message from your boss and then he glanced over at you. You were sleeping rather peacefully and he didn’t want to wake you up. Taking his time, he slowly removed himself from your bed and crept with your phone out into the kitchen.
Far away from you, he called your boss and explained that you had been overworking yourself. When your boss heard about how little sleep you were getting, they were instantly struck with guilt. Jeongin got permission for you to take off the next two days.
You now had Thursday and Friday off, so you could catch up on sleep and recover. After that, you were free during the weekend. On Monday morning, he made sure you were able to go in at normal time.
Maybe, you’d be able to work overtime as long as you didn’t overwhelm yourself with it. Jeongin couldn’t help it, he was worried about you. If you were upset and thought he’d overstepped his boundaries, that was a conversation the two of you could have the next day.
For now, he placed your phone back on the side table. Climbing back into the bed, he wrapped his arms around you. He tugged your sleeping form close and let out a sigh of relief. With a calm mind and a fluttering heart, he’d finally join you in the land of dreams.
| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡|
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