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gomzdrawfr · 2 months

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anything to get some head pats and praises

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evilsartcorner · 5 months

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#my pomme design has changed sm and im still not sure im quite there its just so crowded and I still am not satisfied w it #but I like the opal magical colouring its from unicorn for pierre #the hijab is def a design I really like for pomme but like I want butterfly wings for pomme so the duck wings move up to ear position #but the ears are covered and also wing ears dramatic dragon horns a hijab and then a beret on top of it all like ????#and then I just went crazy cause I wanted the rainbow colors from Bagheras hat and also wanted more etoiles in there #and then I had no idea how to put Antoine in here so for now a lot of red is enough cause like whiskers would've crowded it even more #idek im probably not putting Kameto in there more than there already is w blue cause like he isn't really active at all #and I wouldn't even know where to start w bad #also the reds fucked w me at the end I ended up messing w them a lot cause the red I used for the dress before began looking very orange #but idk she's really cute I put a little creeper face and a little pacman as well not for tazercraft but for pierre and etoiles #okay design rant tangent whatever over #QSMP #qsmp fanart #fanart #qsmp pomme #qsmp eggs #miras art #ps yes the glasses were in fact a last second decision

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thirddoctor · 1 year

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Is there anything I can't conquer?

#BLoSC #Buzz Lightyear of Star Command #Buzz Lightyear #Evil Buzz Lightyear #Evilyear #Ranger creates #I love how horrible he is tbh #anyway remind me to NEVER make a 3x3 gifset again #tumblr keeps messing with the middle gifs #I've tried them at both 177 and 178px #it looks okay now in Chrome but it's still blurry in Firefox I throw up my hands

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lavenoon · 1 year

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Accidentally Undercover - Being a secret agent is a risk, and not a small one

But of course, the story doesn't end there:

It’s still rather early in the morning when his phone vibrates - twice, so not work. That’s something. Everything else can’t be too terribly urgent, so Sun takes his time buttoning up his vest. The matching jacket completes the look, and a glance towards the mirror proves it’s a good one. Perfect.

Now it’s time to see just who texted him - there aren’t too many options, really. Apart from various automated messages, the only one occasionally texting him would be -

You..

Hi Sun, sorry to ditch you for a while, I’ll be at the hospital for a couple days at least. Appendicitis - hurts like a bitch. If anything happens at home, if it’s not urgent I’ll handle it when I’m back. If it is urgent, you have my express permission to handle it however you see fit. Just don’t burn the house down.

Toodles,

And signed with your name. So the house being quieter than usual wasn’t just his imagination, or Moon’s, well… He’ll forgive the cursing, too, considering the circumstances. While they fortunately are exempt from ever experiencing appendicitis, they do know just how debilitating the pain can be. For a civilian at that! Maybe he doesn’t know what you work as exactly, but he doubts you encounter pain at your workplace. Hopes it, too.

He types a quick reply, wishing you a speedy recovery, and that he has the house handled - it’s in good condition, so really, a few days will be nothing.

Finally, Sun addresses the silent presence in his head with a thoughtful hum.

“I wonder if we should organize a get-well-soon basket. Should I ask what hospital they are staying at?”

‘...’

Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. But at past 8am Moon still isn’t in rest mode - if he insists on staying awake, he can suffer Sun making conversation.

“I know you two never personally met, but they are still your landlord, too!”

And still Moon remains silent, heavy tension settling in their head. Of course Sun knows what this is about. He may have gotten only a rather clipped rundown of last night’s events, but he knows why they would weigh on his counterpart.

“Or perhaps you are still worried about someone else?”

It’s not quite movement, trapped within their thoughts, but he finally feels Moon stir. Got him.

‘I’m not worried.’

Sun doesn’t even consider entertaining that notion. Just a little more…

“No, you’re just brooding so much the entire house feels like a nest. Someone missing his pet bird?”

There he is.

‘I am not brooding! I’m angry, because the idiot got hurt - they should have been more careful, they know better! They’ve been at this for so much longer than us, as they so kindly remind me almost nightly, and still -!’

Wordless frustration saturates him, and only the thought that it isn’t his keeps him from falling down the same rabbit hole of negativity Moon is currently residing in. As it is, Sun gives him the space, and after a moment the emotional wave ebbs away. Still lingering in the far corners of his awareness, but no longer threatening to overtake him, too.

‘... I’m angry at myself, too. I was right there, I saw, and I didn’t - I didn’t do anything. Just let them get hurt. I should have done something, anything. Pull them away, knock out the guy who literally took a stab at them, I don’t even know - something! And now I won’t even know what happened to them after I took them back to headquarters, because of these stupid secret identities, and I have to wait for them to come back, and… And that’s if they come back.’

And Moon wonders just why Sun doesn’t care much for this alleged rivalry - the care with which he speaks of Robin is palpable even under the most mundane circumstances. After all, there really isn’t a reason even Sun would need to know the history behind all their scars. (He is somewhat impressed - their little rival has racked up quite a record on their skin. But he has no doubt that this stab wound will join the list of “tried to kill them and failed”).

He sets in for a reply - but then Moon interrupts him, subdued.

‘They have to come back. They have to. This wasn’t supposed to happen.’

Sun rotates his faceplate with a click, then hums again.

“I’m sure they will be fine, and you can discuss sharing your secret identities during your next shared mission. Quite the intimacy, if I do say so myself ~”

He can feel Moon bristle, and squints happily. Got him.

‘Wha- We’re not sharing our identities! That’s against the rules and you know it!’

Continuing to hum, he pats down his pockets and looks around the room for the last of his necessary gadgets.

“Well, you’re the one complaining about the inconvenience. Would rather spend the nights at their bedside -”

‘Will you shut up!’

By now he’s laughing freely, glad to have distracted Moon from his own gloomy thoughts. Now he’ll at least be receptive for reassurance.

“You can always ask the higher ups to deliver a message for you, and who knows, maybe you’ll get one back. Or a gift basket! I’ll go buy some things for our dear landlord after my shift, I can wake you then, and you can pick some supplies for your little bird!”

Hard to keep a secret when you share a mind - Sun can feel him consider the suggestion, though his continued silence does its best to convince him otherwise. After a long moment, a sigh echoes through their head.

‘... Fine. But I need you to stop by the pet store, too, and buy some bird food.’

Sun chuckles, but doesn’t get to tease - Moon is in rest mode before he can get another word out. Amused, he shakes his head, leaving the house with still a few minutes to spare in his schedule, despite the delay.

Rivals, of course.

Y/N, high on painkillers while recovering from a stab wound, receiving two gift baskets: What.

#post let luce #my art #fnaf sb #fnaf sb au #fnaf moon #accidentally undercover #bites my own layout because the cut is perfectly in the middle and still I gotta have them underneath each other for the gradient #tw blood #cw blood #they are rivals not enemies I do want to emphasize that #Moon cares a lot more about Robin that they would assume; than he would assume for that matter #until it's put to the test #fighting tumblr to fix the broken look after I copypasted the drabble in #hope people have opted in for the community labels by now bc aaa #okay hitting post im done with the beta editor; FUCK the beta editor or whatevers messing up my drafts #my fic

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raetttriestowrite · 5 months

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🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Thank you TK for the ask!!!! Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut - author's pick!

So author's pick is a cruel cruel joke bc as soon as you sent that my head emptied of like. everything ever that i wanted to talk about 😂 and i could talk about a lot of things.

So! i'm going about this bit from Take the Photographs (and then like. The Bleeding Effect as a whole):

"[The animus] doesn't work like that," Desmond disagrees, shaking his head. "To pick up the skills you have to synchronise, and to synchronise is to invite them into your head to Bleed. Can't have one without the other."

So! Okay!! My kinda headcanon kinda How It Works in BTMTMIM for the Bleeding Effect, and the reason Desmond's all kinda fucked up about it.

There are 2 ways that the animus could work:

you watch your ancestors memories as like. a movie. 3rd party observer style

you experience the memories as though they're your own.

Rebecca is trying to move the animus towards the first way, to reduce the Bleeding Effect. But. okay. how much do you learn if you just watch someone else do a thing? i could watch martial arts videos all day and at the end i'd still be just as incapable as i was when i started. SO. Realistically the first way would achieve nothing to help train Desmond into a better assassin, which was the whole point.

Therefore, the second way, where you experience the memories as though they're your own, would be the way to gain the abilities of your ancestor. you'd build muscle memory off of their actions bc you're remembering them as your own actions. so it'd be functionally the same as practicing for the amount of memory-time that pasts. Kinda.

Which is where i come in with the sync thing. So obviously there's sync rates - higher is better, lower is worse. So the way i'm thinking of it is like. the more you can immerse yourself in the memory, the higher the sync and the more effective it is for learning shit, bc you move away from the 3rd party observer thing. but like. a memory is not only actions. it's thoughts and feelings. so the more Desmond sync's the more he feels like you is his ancestor, bc he's remembering the events as Altair or Ezio or Connor would remember them, and he remembers being Altair or Ezio or Connor. He remmebers being them. In that memory he stops being Desmond and becomes his ancestor.

And that? that lingers. right. so sure there's 25? years of memories rattling around in his skull in which he's Desmond Miles. But there's also like. a decade worth of being Altair, and fucking. 4 decades of Ezio and another 2? or Connor. and there's a part of him that is convinced that he was that ancestor for that time. they're his memories.

(Which is what fucked up Clay so bad. He could remember too many people and couldn't figure out who was who was when.)

Anyway. So. Desmond achieved high sync which meant lots of memories of not being Desmond. and so the Bleeding Effect is just. when his memories of Alltair or Ezio or Connor are more who he is than Desmond. for that brief instant. So now he's desperately trying to organise the memories into some kinda way? and hoping that if he can box it all up right, acknowledge each memory as whose it is as Desmond and make it Desmond's memory, rather than his ancestors, he'll manage to curtail the Bleeding Effect personality shifts he's dealing with.

And then there was this bit from You'll Find a Man:

"It's good to meet you," Booker says perhaps halfway down. He's moving better now, easier, the drugs having worn off a bit. "And no offense, Jack, but I'm glad to be out of your head." "You as well, fratello mio," Jack says, crooking a smile at the pale blue-gold figure. It's as good a name as any of his others.

which long story short, and was not have been 100% clear in the story, but Des got a new personality wholesale bc like. He's wildly fucked up and Desmond couldn't deal with being in That Room in Abstergo. Self preservation kicked in and he ended up just. remembering everything from everyone, (where usually the Altair/Ezio/Connor shift's only remember themselves) and accepted the new name bc he wasn't really any one of them, but all 4. bc all memories.

and That. spoilers. is going to eventually lead into my Fix for Desmond's fucked up brain problems, where he does get a handle on the Bleeding Effect. bc like. Clay did it... (Clay doesn't count he rend himself down to code and could rewrite his whole being if he wanted.)... actually. there is a hint of this eventual solution in When The Lonesome Whistle Cries. kudos if anyone can pick it out and draw the correct conclusion. I've been building towards this for fucking ever and cannot wait to get to it proper in the fic.

i'm actually fucking pumped to get that whole bit out, even though it's. uh. ???? idk when it's gonna happen but it's there. it's one of those threads i've been carrying along from the start. Apologies if any of my readers wanted to wallow in the uncertainty and angst of the if Des will ever fix his brain. spoilers, i guess?

Anyway. there you go. that's my mildly incomprehensible and incoherent rambling thoughts on the Bleeding Effect, as it exists in Bless This Mess This Mess Is Mine 'verse. Thanks for letting me talk about it!! <3<3<3<3

#raetttriestowrite #btmtmim #bless this mess this mess is mine #ask game reply #the bleeding effect #look i can talk a lot of shit about a lot of things #there are like. so many tiny little details that bare relevance somewhere somehow that i want to point at and vibrate #but the bleeding effect is probably one of my favs #the other is all the bullshit that's going on with the code #or Booker seeing the psychedelic greyscale shit is his Dreams #and the way Booker got kinda fucked up about Desmond's Dreams #or the reason Booker is blue while everyone else is gold #and i just reminded myself i still need to circle back to Nicky's conversations with Desmond in Chisnau #look basically everything i've written almost definitely plays into and supports something else somewhere #and i am 100% down to discuss All Of It #okay so.! thanks for the ask!!! i'm seriously going to stop now bye #<3<3<3<3 kjvahbvekiurjhbg;.ewh. ... <3

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sumeragi-hokuto · 10 months

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Tokyo Babylon

By CLAMP, volume 5

#tokyo babylon #subaru sumeragi #clamplove #okay. so i say the stuff in my tags on the previous post #but i went digging through my bookmarks to see if i could find the website i got the raws from originally #bc in addition to time and motivation there was the problem of no longer having raws to work with #and then i found the site. and the links were so shady. but i went for it #and i got the raws back and...hmmmmmm... once my ffxiv static is in reclears i will have a lot more time in my week...#and i tried out photopea the online free alternarive to photoshop and with 5 minutes of messing around it has potential...#so maybe...just maybe...#we will see.#this manga still has an iron grip on my heart #and seriously every time i look at that shelf that STILL has tb on it the thought crosses my mind #anyway that's all i say for now bc ive gotta get up at 6 for work tomorrow #but! in the meantime have this volume cover that is in the file with the raws #i don't remember my tagging system anymore it's been so long agh #not a set

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seagullcharmer · 4 months

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there is absolutely zero (read: like, idk, 30 posts?) fan content for margaret eilander, which is a crime,

#libra.txt #is it really? no #but she's still an interesting character!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#me before october: ugh rusty lake paradise was so weird and gross and i don't like anybody there #me now: [rattling the bars of my cage] THE EILANDER FAMILY!!!!!! PLEASE TALK TO ME ABT THE EILANDER FAMILY #like okay yeah sure there really isn't much of anything to go off of abt most of them #sure we know they become the hotel guests. whatever #(except: mrs pigeon leads into some of my thoughts abt margaret so!)#BUT HHHHHHNGH THE EILANDERS..........#awful people all of them <3 #like. idk. margaret is just kinda fun to think abt sometimes #woman who's chill with her (eldest?) son plotting to kill his family #chill abt her youngest son dying. chill abt feeding him diseased meat.#[paused to look up when burgers were invented]#she gets carried away by a giant locust and doesn't particularly care #woman was so chill abt everything #but uhhhh personal headcanon that she had other children but killed them <3 #i think she (and perhaps her unnamed husband) also had a deep interest in the lake #and due to not fully understanding it + the day of the lake she sacrificed her eldest child(ren)#which is part of why nicholas is so messed up (trauma!)#but they still believe that a sacrifice could bring them enlightenment #(and it's kinda open-ended on what happened to them after jakob became mr owl)#(sure we see them as guests in hotel but. those /can't/ be the exact same people. mrs pigeon is confirmed 39 years old #and margaret HAS to be older than that for jakob (21) to be her eldest grandson)#and with mrs pigeon electrocuting the young bird in hotel (and the rest of the mistreatment and malpractise in her research)#i feel pretty comfortable saying she'd be chill with killing her children too #anyway. more evil old WOMEN. come on. hashtag evil feminism

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meowonhao · 5 days

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my ticket finally came!! 🩷

#i rarely have to use my full english name unless it’s stuff like this that i have to verify myself #and it always reminds me just how long it is ajshsbsjsk #like especially in korea but honestly even by like american standards #think it’s like 26 characters total including the two spaces since i have to do my first middle and last name 😅#long ass line blacking it out taking up half the ticket #diamond life #anyways story time!#no one knows the stress interpark has put me through in the process of actualy receiving this ticket….#was supposed to be mailed out like within a week of buying it #took forever to do that #Then they finally did like sometime last week and said expect it to come 3-5 days #and it came thru the post office and i was like okay probably next week because they don’t deliver on weekends #or so i thought #anyways that was like thursday i think? then i get a text like friday afternoon #saying oh we tried to call you to come deliver the ticket (bc i have to sign for it) but you didn’t answer so #even though i did not have a single call that wasn’t a saved number all day #so i immediately called the number that texted me and they were like well it’s too late to come today #(it was like 4pm)#and it’s about to be the weekend so we’ll come on monday just make sure you answer the phone this time #even though they literally never called me in the first place 🙄#pretty sure they were just pretending so they could go home early on a friday ahsjsks #but the thing was. i wasn’t even expecting it until this upcoming week so they could have just waited and i never would have known #ANYWAYS so i was like okay fine i’ll make sure someone is here to get it on monday #tell me why i slept in bc it’s sunday and i don’t have rehearsal and i was woken up by a call #they’re like i’ll be coming to deliver your ticket in about an hour!#like it is literally sunday and you said you couldn’t deliver on weekends…..but whatever i was like oh 네 감사합니다 you know #then dude came like. 5 mins later i’m still basically half asleep and look like a mess #but anyways none of that really matters now bc i finally have my ticket but #it put me through so much unnecessary stress bc i’m always paranoid about stuff like this until i have it physically in my hand #even though i knew it was gonna come and be okay

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cuteniaarts · 6 days

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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

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mothram · 5 months

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youtube

#diana's music diary #good afternoon I'm very tired...#yesterday was okay enough.. maybe even good? Lancer was fun! Ophelia messed up really bad and now the crew is in danger!! yay!!#didn't do all that much else really... I was so exhausted and idk why... I've been so so tired lately... more than my usual eepiness...#I don't know what the exact reason is too it's like... I'm sure I got enough sleep... I had a headache and stuff too so maybe that?#well whatever... I still haven't decided on changing urls yet... today I woke up after like 3 or 4 hours of sleep so my brain is melting #spent an hour looking for a part for my coffee grinder cause I needed it for something (something that isn't coffee)#I couldn't find it so I ended up using a knife to cheat it into working... which worked well but was a little bit more messy n.n;;#I found a couple of nice things when I was looking at least!#a rarity plush an ex gave me and the jacket Sheila gave me years ago... I should clean them up they got a bit dusty from my last move...#anyway later I'm going to try to have some fun... will maybe hang out with friends or just vc with my partner... idk...#the thing I had to get up now for should be done by later at least 😊 let's keep making today good and fun even while eepy n_n;

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seariii · 1 month

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alr ate something... probably not a proper meal, but its still a win on my book

#a 7 11 burrito that was my lunch and a couple sips of coke #.... and maybe a donut??? idk if i should eat it now or not....#yesterday my mom called me and asked me how i was doing #she asked if ive been feeling down between other stuff.... before i came here we talked a bit about different stuff and my future...#during that conversation i confessed ive been on the hole the last couple months... this month so far has been better i think im out of the #hole.... but i still feel sad sometimes... sigh today already lasted a bit too long for comfort... i need shit to do....#*looks around* .... sigh im a mess... okay... lets move now we have 3 hours until the class and sunday we will have it for ourselves!!! and #monday too!!! on monday we will go to museums and to the plaza! because today we couldnt #and on sunday we will see what we do!! okay! lets end this!!!#< was gonna say finish this but wanted to make a reference #seari talks

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bylertruther · 1 year

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the brainrot is so bad that i'm sitting here trying to watch the godfather just thinking to myself "damn..... how can i make a byIer au outta dis... 🤔📝"

#karen's actress is italian... maybe karen is too... she's a civilian but mike gets roped into it bc ted is more involved as an accountant.#her family loves him and ted loves money and being able to provide for his family and all that Macho Family Man^tm stuff and #sure karen wants mike to do big things—bigger than just messing around with his friends—but she isn't sure that having him get #chummy with her family is the right idea. mike does it anyway bc it's what he's Supposed To Do and he's Getting Older and karen #thinks well... okay... if this is what you want... ❤️ and mike just nods and agrees like he always does bc thts easier than speaking up #or trying to figure out what the hell to do after uni and Much less scary than working on that book he's been working on since forever.#will's a civilian ofc he gets brought along to mike's family things bc mike wants the company but he doesn't Like that world and the #way they look at him. whenever lonnie used to get fired from whatever job he was working at then he'd end up doing ''favors''#for one of the other families and even though will's nothing like his father and he and his brother and his mom aren't even remotely #involved in that kind of life he still has his last name and it's a brand tht sticks. smth smth the romeo n juliet vibes of it all....#in this au maybe hopper hasn't been reformed bc there's no tragedy to pull him out of that so maybe he's on the wheelers' payroll #and he has a daughter tht they want to introduce to mike... smth smth mike going to will's apartment in the dead of night to get #patched up.. smth smth mike taking el to things instead of will.. smth smth will and mike getting into A Big Fight bc will doesn't #want to see mike continue to get hurt or lose himself in this world and become this person that he doesn't even recognize anymore #and mike starts goading him like oh why do you care so much huh blahblah and they've been dancing around this all their lives #but it finally comes out and it doesn't fix anything bc will doesn't want This mike and mike can't stand the way will looks at him now and #will storms out after having said the unspeakable.. goes somewhere and gets caught in the crossfire.. cue the body pulled from the quarry #parallel when el calls him immediately after she finds out from hopper and there's a horrible few hours where they don't kno if will's #gonna pull thru. he does ofc much to their surprise.. wake up calls n apologies are eventually had... hurt/comfort ensues.. mike talks #to karen and opens up for the first time ever bc they've gotten closer now.. smth smth um . gay people 🫶#mike in suits n gloves + will learning to not ask questions + el seeing tht will's apartment looks more like it's will-And-mike's #apartment bc there's so much of him and his things there and he always walks in n moves around like he owns the place +#will's hands shaking as he tries to tend to mike and he manages to keep it together until mike's all patched up but when he turns around #to clean up his shoulders are shaking and mike jus comes up behind him n hugs him through it bc he knows this hurts will more than it hurts #him (which is saying smth bc mike's blood is literally all over will's hands n dinner table rn so like)#SOOOOO self-indulgent but idc im free . (<- said thru gritted teeth and while closing my eyes so i don't have 2 look at this post)#also i say brainrot but i think tht has bad connotations now. i am just an Enjoyer a Lover a Scholar an Enthusiast one might even say..#mine

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slautertm · 3 months

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Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist & post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people. If you're not on spotify, just share ten songs that you have on repeat.

screech's tale - ren

prologue - ren

what was i made for - billie eillish

this river between us - big fish the musical

jenny's tale - ren

just a man - epic the musical : the troy saga

the gold -- phoebe bridgers version - manchester orcestra, phoebe bridgers

daughter of the sea ( lullaby ) - sharm

haunted ( taylor's version ) - taylor swift

the torture tango - spies are forever

Tagged by: @sleazeballtm ! Tagging: @fearstouch , @andessence , @lazaruhs , @mvndrvke , & @butnobodyhome !

#what a hot fucking mess. if you want to be walked through this though i rambled below about my wild music taste laskdfjdl speedy pre WORK #bottom to top ; spies verse with steph my BELOVED i gotta do something in it #haunted was ( and still is ) one of my fav tswift songs and i wanted to relisten to it the other day ( and did for several hours )#daughter of the sea belongs to the love of my life jester lavorre #the gold was a song i found on nerdy prudes tiktok that is in fact in a lot of steph's spotify playlist #the fucking LYRICS of just a man fuck me up okay ( 'when does a man become a monster' )#the shuffle said i will expose you for liking ren and you know what. that's fine alkdjflksj #ren has a song cycle that i love right now #i'm just going to say it. big fish the musical slaps. thank you #.... don't look at number three i was in fact writing sad things i wanted sad SONG #{ OOC }#{ TAGGED }

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akagamiko · 1 year

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thinking agian about how shanks wanted to see roger cry and that he tells luffy he should cry but that shanks himself takes after roger in that regard and won't cry in front of people !!!

#was about to go to bed but saw the emotions thing and started spiraling into my shanks thoughts #the boyish want of needing to see your dad figure/mentor/hero/favorite person show those emotions #because shanks was such a cry baby as a kid but thinking about how he didn't see roger cry and started internalizing it !!!#and wanting to see roger cry because he cried when he was sad or frustrated or angry or ANYTHING AT ALL #but then he grew up and learned the weight that's carried as a captain and #...probably understood roger a lot better #because you want to be seen as put together of course but you also don't want to worry your crew #they look to him for comfort so he doesn't feel like he CAN boohoo all the time (unless he's being totally silly)#even though his crew would be totally fine with him crying and would simply love on him !!!#but him still wanting luffy to cry #wanting him to know that it's okay to cry !!!#YELLLLLS #he wants luffy to be so much better than he is in literally every way #like his crying is definitely a private thing when it happens #beck probably being the only one #maybe yasopp and roux too since those are all his fellas <3 #i'm fine #once again i am saying roger really did a number on him lmao #(intentionally or not sorry roger)#<3 #now i'm going to bed fr #OOC.#honestly this half belongs in the hc tag even if it's a mess of me rambling sorry #HEADCANON.

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mattodore · 1 year

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it's actually so nice to have full shots in cas without the ui in the way now........ it's so clean.........

#river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #i'm running on zero sleep so i'm like. very out of it and i'm just staring #i accidentally used my gameplay preset for these instead of the cas preset i normally use but it still looks pretty anyway........#this could just be the theo effect tho #he just makes everything look more gorgeous yk #anyway............................................. i do need to sleep lmao #i really meant to get in cas today and make the sim i wanted to send in for this little bachelor challenge #but alas........ i spent all day reading and messing around online here and there...#but i did pick out a general reference for how i want the sim i'll be making to look! so i'm serious about it!!#i'll try starting tomorrow bc i think the deadline for the bc is the end of the month? woof #i really meant to do it dayssss ago idk what happened #....okay i'm rambling fr i'm going to sleep now MWAH

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nexus-nebulae · 10 days

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brrrrr (/pos)

#weight talk #<- just in case even though this is pos #but like. okay ive been. SEVERELY underweight all my life #like i looked like a skeleton you could see all my bones it was AWFUL #i just. I've literally always hated looking like that i hated looking like a walking corpse i mean i looked ILL #but recently i started taking remeron for anxiety #partially bc my anxiety keeps causing me to not eat properly bc i feel sick constantly #so i kept ending up in the ER for malnutrition and dehydration and my liver getting messed up #well i started the remeron for the panic attacks bc daily panic attacks suck but the psych mentioned it could increase appetite #and it???? did????? I'm eating on a slightly more regular schedule???? I'm eating more than once a day????#and like. ok I've always weighed like 100lbs #highest i ever got was 111 when i was 16 #and then it dropped 10 #and then dropped 10 more in the span of 3 months while i was in and out of ER #and i was genuinely starting to panic over it bc i could PHYSICALLY FEEL my muscles getting eaten bc i had no fat left #like i was getting drastically weaker by the day my knees still won't stop buckling #but in the about three months I've been taking those meds I've. gained 10 back #I'm actually gaining weight like me and my mother are genuinely SHOCKED this genuinely hasn't happened since i was fucking TWELVE #and just now i took off my shirt and noticed. holy shit. my stomach doesn't go CONCAVE when I'm hungry anymore #like whenever i couldn't tell if i was hungry before i would just look at my stomach and be able to tell if it was too curved inwards #but now!!!!!!! it doesn't do that!!!!!!! and I'm genuinely fucking ecstatic like oh my god i don't look dead anymore #I've always wanted to gain weight i feel like i would be 100% more comfortable in my body as a fat trans man #and i can't talk about that to anyone bc they always say it's either self harm or fetishistic #when no i just genuinely feel more comfortable in my skin thinking of myself that way #and now i have confirmation that i would genuinely be happier that way with this bc the sheer joy i have at not being underweight anymore #i mean I'm still a bit under but at least im gaining SOMETHING like at least i dont look like a drowned street cat #seeing the very slight rolls and folds in my stomach when i move the right way makes me happy

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