#oc: Matahd Sa

[startrekandwars]

There is no emotion, there is peace

Word Count: 976

Summary: Matahd Sa explores his connection to his kyber crystal at three different points in his life, from a youngling to a padawan to a jedi knight.

AN: Written for Jedi June “There is no emotion, there is peace” A Youngling's Reflection The youngling togruta stood there, staring at the various lightsaber components. His violet eyes seemed to take in every detail on the crystal. It hummed softly in the force, a presence that would be as comforting to him one day as the jedi temple. This would form the heart of his lightsaber. This would be his focal point, something to ground him in the sea of emotions.

He sat down on the ground, meditating, gently lifting the pieces of his lightsaber in the force. He didn't need to see the pieces slotting together, instead, he took his time. There is no emotion. Those words seemed odd to him, everyone has emotions, there were emotions- sensations- from his very kyber crystal. It was as alive as anything else, and all living things had feelings. Then he remembered his lessons, sure there were emotions in the force, but those emotions did not shape his connection to the force. He could read them as easily as anything else, but it was internal peace he had that grounded him, that let him focus enough to connect to the force.

Matahd opened his eyes and stared at the lightsaber hovering in front of him. Every piece was deliberately picked, every piece deliberately placed. This lightsaber was his life, and the kyber crystal inside of it attuned only to him. When he ignited the blade, it would show to the order who he was. A piece of himself, an extension of his body and his soul. He extended his light blue hands and took the hilt. It was heavier than he thought it was going to be, yet as he held it, it was perfectly balanced.

He stood up, his eyes tracing every aspect of the hilt. Every piece fit perfectly, it was designed to allow for easy maintenance, and yet, it fit so sleekly together that one would not know he could easily repair it. He activated the lightsaber, revealing a deep blue blade, from some angles it seemed to almost cross the line to purple. Not yet. He could probably tilt the crystal and get a different color out of it, but he rather liked the variety in the blade. He slowly began to go through the basic stances he had been taught, listening to the hum of his lightsaber. This was a Jedi's weapon. A lightsaber, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. A weapon that required focus and precision to use. A Padawan's Trial

Matahd Sa stared at his lightsaber hilt as he fixed it again. There technically wasn't anything wrong with it. The lightsaber functioned beautifully, he just needed to drown out his emotions. Drown out his guilt. There is no emotion there is peace. Those were the words he was trying to focus on. He could do this all through the force, but he needed the physical touch. He needed to feel the metal in his hands, feel the weight of each piece. He needed to feel the gentle hum of the kyber crystal.

Mat held his kyber crystal up to the light. Maybe this was his grief talking, but he could have sworn that the crystal looked different now. It seemed to have different lines, small fractures in its core. The hum of the crystal was the same, and yet it felt different. He had lost some of his focus, perhaps that reflected in the blade.

"Commander, the general would like a word with you," Commander Eagle's voice came from behind him. The clone trooper's voice was calm and collected, in the force, his concern betrayed him.

Mat would never call him out on that. "I will be there in a moment." He put the crystal back inside his lightsaber and ignited it. A violet blade. Funny how as a youngling his blade had seemed closer to blue, now it was clearly purple. It almost matched his eyes. His white and teal lekku moved with him as he stood up, looking at the commander before turning his lightsaber off again. "Let's not worry my master, shall we?" A Knight's Reflection

He stared at the kyber crystal from the inquisitor. The poor crystals had been bled to get their blood-red coloring. Tortured. Matahd could understand the pain of the crystals, he had felt the death of the order, watched as friends turned and gunned down jedi. He had survived but at what cost?

Sitting down, he calmed his mind, focusing on the crystals. These crystals were not his, but they had come from Ilum, from a place of the jedi. There is no emotion, there is peace. The pain would pass and there would be a brighter future.

The hum of the crystals slowly became less of a scream and more of a harmony. They would no longer be used to cause pain. They would simply be kyber crystals, the heart of a lightsaber. A true reflection of their user.

Soon enough, the hum began to reflect that of the kyber crystal of his own lightsabers. He did not force the crystals to change, he simply meditated with them, found their connection to the force, and mended it, the way his was mending. He took the crystals out of his own lightsabers and put the inquisitor crystals in instead. Once he activated the blades, he saw that the light was white as the snow on ilum, bordering, perhaps, on blue. He was not meant to use these crystals, so he turned off the blades and put his own back in. A blue and a purple blade greeted him when he turned them back on. When the crystals resonated with a force user, he would feel comfortable handing them over, extending the teachings of the jedi the way he had been taught.

There is no emotion, there is peace. There is the Force.

#jedi june #oc: matahd sa #oc: commander eagle #star wars #star wars the clone wars

[startrekandwars]

A Master’s Pride

Word Count: 1564

Tags: Grief

Summary: Matahd Sa finally opens the holocron that Master Jocasta Nu gave him after his master’s death. The message he hears was not the one he was expecting, and he learns something about his late master that he never knew about her while she was alive.

AN: Written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars prompt When the Dead Speak. It is also a sequel to A Sad Inheritance. Also, I ended up crying while writing this one so you may want tissues nearby.

Mat had been ignoring the Holocron given to him by Master Nu. He had been ignoring it because he did not want to listen to it- he did not want to see his master’s face. He did not want to hear his master’s voice. 

Today was different. Perhaps it was a moment of weakness or perhaps it was a moment of braveness- the true reason he may never know. He grabbed the holocron from the shelf it lived on and opened it, watching as a holographic version of his late master, Almenia Costa, appeared.

“Padawan, if you are watching this, then I have fallen to a fate similar to the one that befell Master Qui-Gon Jinn and I have met some untimely end. I hope that you don’t see this until you are a Jedi Knight, but time is not always so kind.” She smiled, sadly, like she knew what he was feeling. Just seeing her face hurt, let alone seeing that expression on it. To know that even then she was worried over him- worried because of something that hadn’t happened in relation to him- it hurt something inside of him that he thought had healed over.

“You have always been more aware of things in the force, so it is very likely you sense whatever my death was... Force, I have so much to say and here I am uncertain of how I should tell you.” She took a slow breath and fixed her robes, something she used to do all the time when she was trying to collect her thoughts. 

“Do not hold yourself back because of whatever happened to me. You have the skills to do so much more- to make a difference. Keep moving forward. In that same vein, do not think that grieving is a weakness- your greatest strength has been your heart and your empathy to others. I admire that about you. You’re always so willing to care and I don’t want you to ever lose that. Be gentle on yourself. You have always wanted to believe that if you could not save one person then you cannot save anyone. That is not true. Over the course of my time teaching you- I have watched you save so many- yet you focus on the few you fail and that leads to working yourself to a point of exhaustion. So be gentle to yourself.” She paused again, the smile that appeared on her face was slightly warmer than the one she had earlier, “Cherish the time you had with me. I cannot think of a single moment I regret taking you on as my padawan- I hope that even in my death you find that there is not a single moment you reget being my student. I know you may not believe this- especially when you recall how we fought over how I chose to train you, but I wanted you to learn that your emotions were not what you needed to learn how to control. What I wanted you to learn was that your actions based on what you were feeling needed to be controlled. Your anger, your fear, your sorrow, your joy- those were all things that I wanted you to feel and feel in their full. I also wanted you to know that your actions that you choose to make because of those emotions mattered. I’m not certain I taught you in the best way for you to learn that- but I hope I did.”

This pause was longer and she stood up straighter, smiling with pride, “I am proud of you Matahd, and I am proud of whoever you become. I need you to understand that I will always be proud of you. It was a true honor to have been your master and to watch you grow from the youngling to the padawan you are now.” Her hands moved like she wanted to reach out to him, and then realized she couldn’t do that, not through a hologram. “I am going to leave three items with Master Jocasta Nu and I am going to explain each one of them now. The first is a lightsaber hilt. This hilt is a recreation of the one favored by Master Qui-Gon Jinn. I know he had a large impact on you as a youngling and even now as a padawan. I made this hilt so that in some way you could always have a reminder of him. It also should serve you well. It is a gift of two masters- one who trained you and one who did not. The second is a cloak. The cloak is one embroidered in traditional Togruta styles- I wanted to give it to you when you became a Knight but I don’t know if I will get that chance. Everything I embroidered on it symbolizes how much you have accomplished already- with room for you to add to it. The third item is this very holocron. In it, I have said everything I believe you need to hear, whether I am alive or dead. These are the final lessons that I want you to hear from me as your master.”

“I am truly proud of you Mat, and I hope that if you are watching this, you can smile knowing that the last thing I say to you is that I am so very proud of you. Because I am, I am so proud of you and I feel as though I don’t say it enough.” She smiled again and brushed some tears off of her cheek. “Oh look at me- I’m so ridiculous, standing here crying because I can only imagine what you must be feeling watching this. I’m supposed to be teaching you how to let go of attachments and I find myself here crying because I know that you don’t want to let go of who you care about.” She tried to compose herself again but she couldn’t. Instead, she ended up kneeling on the ground, looking down at the holocron. “You already can sense so much pain in the force and I can’t help you learn how to control that without you having someone to focus on. I have set you up for a lifetime of pain, and I am so sorry Matahd... as your master, I have failed you because I could not teach you how to block out others without losing the kindness that I so adore about you.”

She sat there for a few moments, crying silent tears before she could bring herself to look at the Holocron again. “I don’t want you to remember me like this- how vain of me? I want you to remember that I am so very proud of you.” She smiled again, brushing away the last of her tears. “I am so very, very proud of you, Matahd Sa, my brave Padawan.” With that, she chose to end the recording, but not before letting out a half-broken sob. 

Mat wasn’t certain at what point he had started to cry, but he knew that by the end of the recording he was in complete tears. This whole time he had let himself believe he was a disappointment, and that the Holocron would just be telling him that she had wished he had never become her padawan- but instead- it was her trying to tell him one last time that she was proud of him. She was proud of him, even when he shouted at her because he hadn’t wanted her to be his master. She was proud of him even when he got into fights with Senators over their language towards other padawans. She was proud of him even when he failed over and over and over again. She was proud of him even though he formed attachments. She was proud of him even though he cared more about others than he cared about himself. She was proud of him.

And she felt like SHE failed him. She felt that SHE wasn’t good enough to have been his master and that SHE needed to do more as a Jedi Master. She did all of this- and he failed at doing the one thing she wanted to ask of him. He failed at moving forward. Her death follows him everywhere. Her death is the reason he chose to remain a padawan instead of becoming a knight. Her death is the reason he throws himself completely into every battle even though it might get him killed. Her death is the reason he tried to close himself off to the force more than once, why he tried to not form attachments. 

He wasn’t sure of when Commander Eagle had walked in, and he didn’t tell the commander to leave. He couldn’t as he sat in front of the holocron crying. Instead, he just felt the commander pull him into a hug. There was an unspoken promise in that moment. Eagle would never judge him for showing how broken he was, and Eagle would try his damned best to make sure that Mat could never feel this broken again. Maybe it wasn’t Eagle’s place, but it was the place he decided to give himself. It was the place Eagle seemed to fit best. 

They stayed like that until Mat couldn’t cry anymore, and maybe that was for the best.

#oc: Matahd Sa #oc: Commander Eagle #oc: Almenia Costa #star wars the clone wars #star wars #Jocasta Nu Mention #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

With My Life

Word Count: 1020

Tags: None

Summary: Arfi Bageeh and Jaro Tapal meet to complete a Concordance of Fealty- a jedi tradition where they swap their lightsabers as sign of complete trust between two jedi. While they retrieve their personal lightsabers, they also talk about meaningless and meaningful things.

AN: written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars prompt In Your Hands

Arif Bageeh is a Jedi Master who has trained two padawans before Baves Urety; though that doesn’t make the Miraluka Jedi master any more qualified to train his current padawan. And while he adores his padawan, this is one of the few times he has allowed himself to leave his padawan out of his ‘sight’ for several hours. Presently, his padawan was off in lessons somewhere in the temple; likely following Matahd Sa or Shiro Isiabill around if either of them were on Coruscant. Perhaps he’s currently with Cal Kestis- a thought he only considered when he sensed an extremely familiar presence behind him. “Jaro Tapal- It’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“Indeed it has, Arif Bageeh,” there was humor in the Lasaat’s voice as he sat down in front of him. “I just saw Cal and Baves run off Force knows where in the temple. I’m certain they’ll be fine.” The man carefully unhooked a lightsaber from his belt. “I do believe I have something to return to you- a product of your careful crafting which you have continually shown willingness to entrust to me. In returning this lightsaber I return your trust.”

Arif smiled a little bit and then unclipped Jaro Tapal’s lightsaber from his own belt, running his fingers over the edges of the emitters. “And I have a product of your hands which you continue to agree to entrust to me- your lightsaber which you made with care and thought. Through the act of returning this lightsaber, I too return your trust.” He was most surprised that he was actually granted the time to genuinely return the lightsaber to the Lasaat. 

Normally, the words they had uttered signified the beginning or the end of a Concordance of Fealty- a sacred bond between two jedi, Yet he knew the moment that they had switched back to their personal lightsabers that there was more than just trust there. Arif and Jaro trusted each other with their lives. With the lives of their padawans. The Lives of their men. And of their own hearts. 

“It appears to me that my lightsaber prospered in your care- did you change my switch?” He knew his lightsaber so well he did not even need to run his hands over it to know there had been a change to the weapon he had crafted when he was a youngling.

Jaro nodded, “I did. It was sticking and causing the beam to waver during combat. It’s a similar one to the one that you had had in it.” Then he looked at his own lightsaber, “You seemed to have realigned the emitters. Why?”

Arif raised an eyebrow, “They were crooked ever so slightly. They aren’t now. It was something I noticed when I went to use it.”

The Lasaat looked at Arif and then laughed, “You would notice that the emitters were slightly crooked; it appears to me that my lightsaber prospered in your care, Arif. Though saying that is more of a formality- you and I both know this.”

“Sometimes I like standing on formality. Keeps us out of trouble with the padawans,” Arif countered, leaning over just enough to be able to rest his forehead against the other Jedi Master’s. “I trust you with more than just my lightsaber- every time I hand it over to you, I am handing you my life, Jaro... I am always putting my life in your hands. I always have and I always will.”

“And each time I give you my lightsaber, I entrust you with my heart, Arif- you’ve known this for years now. I would want no one else to be its keeper... and perhaps one day I will truly reclaim my heart from your care, but that day is not today.” Jaro gently put his hand over Arif’s. “But that is not what is on your mind, nor why your words sound more like a good-bye nor a confession of your deepest affections.”

The Mirakula pulled away and faced Jaro as though he was trying to study his face, which was impossible for him, but the expression was unmistakable. “The entire Council can sense it... there’s this... darkness coming. I don’t want... I sound like a padawan who doesn’t know any better- but I don’t want us to part ways again without me saying it at least once more to your face. Something is coming... something dark- and none of us can see what it is. I’ve never felt more blind in my entire life.” He put both of his hands in his lap over his lightsaber. “I can normally see glimpses of what’s coming- not that it helps me. But now every time I look... It’s just... suffering. So much suffering.”

Jaro frowned before letting out a slow breath, “You aren’t the first person to say that. Alana spoke with me when I went to visit the healers just to ask how I might be able to better help Cal sometimes... Apparently, Matahd was there for a week. She said that he tried to see something and it did nothing but cause him extreme agony. My understanding is he only said two things the whole time ‘Why can’t I see their faces’ and ‘What did he do to you?’”

“It’s been a long time since something like that took out Matahd from my understanding... If what you say is true- that someone who can naturally see into the future in the force couldn’t see anything... Then things are worse than we even know.” Arif continued to frown, but instead of staying on the ground, he stood up. “There is no use on dwelling on it. It won’t make things any clearer.”

Jaro watched him before standing up as well. “Care to spar then- for old time’s sake?”

The Mirakula grinned and ignited his lightsaber, “You make it sound like there isn’t a future! That’s my line!”

Jaro grinned and the green and blue blades clashed with an understanding that there would be another chance to do this. Sometime. In their future. After all, their lives were in the other’s hands.

#oc: Arif Bageeh #Jaro Tapal #oc: Baves Urety #oc: Matahd Sa #oc: Alana Oreson #star wars the clone wars #star wars #Cal Kestis mention #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

The Others

Word Count: 1227

Tags: None

Summary: Sari Nebi was in deep meditation where she was presented with a glimpse into what might be her possible future. It was there in meditation where she was confronted with the warring parts of herself she keeps so hidden that it feels almost real. No matter what she chooses, there are going to be consequences. 

AN: Written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars prompt The Other Side of the Coin

When a force user meditates, what they see is different. Sometimes its nothing. Sometimes its the future, other times the past. Still other times it’s a sort of... meeting ground. That’s where Sari found herself.

It looked enough like the training dojo on her master’s ship that she didn’t immediately realize something was off. At least, not until she saw the two other people standing there. The two other versions of her. One was a jedi, dressed in traditional royal robes that she couldn’t recognize, but a jedi none the less. Behind her stood a proud Obi-Wan Kenobi. The other was dressed in dark black robes. On her arms were more tattoos and her eyes were harsh. Behind her stood a cloaked figure Sari vaguely recognized but couldn’t name. It wasn’t Xanatos, this man was someone else. Someone worse. Both versions looked at her and smiled, “Hello there Sari. We need to talk.”

The Sith version of her walked away from her dark master and circled her, “My my you’ve been busy haven’t you Sari? Oh, you’ve been making friends right? Learning how to be a good little jedi. Learning how to to be restrained.” The sith pushed her down and her face contorted to show nothing but rage, “Have you forgotten everything you were taught to value?! Or have you given into weakness!?”

Out of reflex, Sari used the force to push her evil self away, “Get away from me! I’m nothing like you!”

“Oh, but you are! You are me- a Sith. Waiting until the time is right and then, your real master will call upon you to do his bidding! After all, that’s what Darth Sidious wanted you to be trained for- to be his apprentice when the time was right! Here you are throwing away your chance to be great!”

“Enough, sith, she has not chosen your path.” The Jedi’s voice was gentle and regal as she stood up, but she didn’t pull away from her master. “After all- all she has ever wanted was to be cherished. To be given a chance to grow as a person and to do good. I think that she has chosen a harder path, but one that will end with her being happier. Isn’t that right, Sari? You’re like a coin that’s landed on its edge. Everyone is waiting for you to fall on one side or the other but you stay there, balanced.” 

Obi-Wan, or the force apparition of him, spoke in the same gentle voice she has come to appreciate, “Only you can choose, my apprentice. So which path are you going to take? Whichever path you take- I will always be proud of you as my padawan.”

The cloaked man behind the sith spoke-the voice of Darth Sidious, the only man that scared Xanatos-with menace, “But choose wisely young apprentice. For choosing the wrong path will only lead to suffering and early death.”

Before she could respond, she was falling through the ground faster and faster until she landed hard, “Ouch- that’s going to leave a mark.”

“Don’t be so dramatic commander- after all, you’ve gone through worse haven’t you?” Boil asked, offering her his hand. “Come on, the general wants us to be in position for when Grevious tries to escape. If we do this right we can cut him off and prevent his escape.” 

Sari was about to say something when a darker voice spoke, “We can’t maintain radio silence for this mission- we need to know if the general makes his move.” A chorus of yes sirs answered her.

When the fight got towards the end, she got a personal message, “I need to take this. Yes?”

“My child- the time has come- it is time for you to make your move.” Darth Sidious commanded.

“Yes, my lord, it shall be done.” She closed her communicator and looked at her men, “Gentlemen- I just received word that the Jedi have been staging a coup against the Chancellor- our orders are to bring in General Kenobi dead or alive at any cost!” Once again a chorus of yes sirs answered her.

The scene changed again and she was older now, sitting on a throne, “Your majesty, there is another uprising in this sector. Darth Vader has requested that you handle it personally.”

“Of course. Tell the 212th to get ready to move out.” She stood up from her throne and walked out of the throne room. “Inform the Commander that there are to be no survivors of the rebels.”

The scene shifted once more, and Sari was back on the ground, accepting Boil’s hand. “You all right commander?”

“I’m fine. Remember, the General is trusting us to block General Grevious’s escape. Everyone is to maintain radio silence. We’ll know if he’s coming.” Her orders were greeted by a chorus of yes sirs. 

Instead of an incoming communication, she felt something dark move through the force. “Something’s wrong... We have to help General Kenobi- But keep radio silence at all costs.” She jumped down the cliff they had been climbing, hoping that they moved fast enough. 

When she found herself in the throne room again, it felt more comfortable. Like she had earned it, and standing next to her throne was Boil. “Your majesty, Senator Organa’s vassal is here. Shall we send him in?”

“Yes. Send him in at once.” She said, still sitting in her throne. 

A hooded man walked in and waited till he was at the steps leading up to where she was seated before removing his hood to reveal the face of Matahd Sa, “Your majesty- it’s time. All of the pieces are in place. It’s time we make our move.”

“Of course, Master Sa. Contact the Commander at once, tell him to ready the 212th.” Sari stood up and walked towards Mat, with Boil comfortably walking next to her. “Its time we defeat this Empire. I’m tired of playing neutral.” The three of them walked out of the throne room. 

Then Sari found herself facing the Jedi and the Sith once again, the two of them standing side by side, “So Sari, which will you choose? The Jedi or the Sith? Light or Dark? Good or Evil?”

Before she could answer, she felt a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her meditations, “Sorry to interrupt Commander, but the General’s been looking for you. You really need to stop meditating on top of the gunships, one day you’ll fall off,” Commander Cody stated, offering her a small smile. 

“Well... sometimes I can mediate better when there’s a little bit of danger commander, tell Master Kenobi I’ll be right there. I just... need to think for a moment.” She said softly, looking out towards the launch zone. Good or evil? Jedi or Sith? She would never betray her master, but... what if she was nothing more than a sith?

“I’ll do that Commander Nebi. We’re almost at Utapau. My understanding is that the general wants to confront General Grievous on his own first anyways. We’re to be his backup.”

“And then I’ll be leading some of the 212th to block any potential escape of the giant Clanker. We’ll have this done before you can even say Lightsaber.” Utapau. Is that where all of this will happen? Maybe she shouldn’t believe everything she sees. 

#oc: Sari Nebi #Obi-Wan Kenobi mention #commander cody #Boil #Darth Sidious mention #Xanatos mention #oc: Matahd Sa #star wars the clone wars #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

Rivals

Word Count: 1260

Tags: Depression mention

Summary: Jaan Kuran reflects on the different types of teachers her most recent padawan, Matahd Sa, has had and compares herself to them and how she falls short compared to what she thinks he expects from her.

AN: written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars prompt Rivals

If you were to ask Jaan Kuran who her rival was, it would be Matahd Sa’s memory. Her latest padawan has had a variety of different teachers for all sorts of reasons. Master Qui-Gon Jinn showed confidence in his ability to become a Jedi, and gave him a technique to ground himself he still uses to date. Master Almenia Costa believed in him and his ability to move forward, she challenged him to learn as much as he could, to stay kind, to use his awareness of emotions in the force to help him understand people. She encouraged him to be a person who could be so bright in the Force, to feel all of his emotions in full and not let them control him. Master Mace Windu taught Mat how to use Vaapad, a variation of form Seven he developed, using your opponent’s emotions against them. It is a form Matahd excels at, to her amusement and dismay. His ability to sense his opponent’s emotions and turn them into energy in a fight is almost limitless.

No one could say that Matahd Sa did not have the skill to be a Jedi Knight. Some would argue that like his peer, Anakin Skywalker, he was one of the more skilled Jedi of their time. His level of competence was almost unparalleled, and he could work well with others. He was willing to listen, because all of his teachers taught him that, and she had to compete with that. People she respected as Jedi. She has to compete with his memory of those people. 

Jaan tries to give Matahd freedom. Him being her padawan is an unusual situation- she is only his master until he feels comfortable to let himself become a Knight, or until she deems that he is indeed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, ready to be a Jedi Knight emotionally. She lets him organize battle strategies, give orders like her equal, travel to aid other Jedi without her presence, lead entire campaigns. As a warrior- she can safely say that he should be a Jedi Knight. His skill with a lightsaber is impressive, and she finds herself with nothing to teach him in lightsaber combat. She has nothing to teach him as a combatant. 

Matahd is a skilled negotiator. Perhaps it is from his time around Obi-Wan Kenobi, or perhaps from his time with Almenia Costa, but he can talk himself out of as many problems as he talks himself into. She has never had a padawan so skilled with negotiations, that was something she seemed to always fail to teach appropriately. 

As a pilot, his only rival is the likes of Anakin Skywalker. Those two can fly laps around the Separatists without any difficulty, something that amuses Jaan. They are their own rivals in the sense of combative flying, and it suits them. They work so well in tandem as they do alone. She was never much of a pilot, and here was her padawan, a master flying ace. 

When it comes to dealing with his emotions? That is where she has the most to teach him. At 21, he has sensed more deaths that were personal to him than a single Jedi ever should have. It has left him feeling unsure of his abilities to command, unwilling to trust his emotions. It’s frozen him. His depression is obvious. Togruta show distress with the colors of their lekku stripes. His used to be a dark green, complementing the teal of his skin and the violet shade his eyes were. Now his lekku were almost always a shade of turquoise, that worked, but displayed his constant emotional distress. Mat throws himself into dangerous situations, almost as though he feels he does not deserve the same safety he gives all of his men. She knows this. She constantly reminds him of the fact that his survival is not something he should be punished for. The first time she met him, the waves of total… sadness and self loathing almost unbalanced her. She had never sense that much pain from one person so young. When she met him, she understood why he did not trust himself to become a Jedi Knight. No one in good conscious could make him be a Knight until he could learn to let go. 

She tries to teach him this in several ways, but none seem to connect with him. He brushes off every single one. She knows why Matahd was assigned to her- She was a healer in the Jedi Temple before the war. She specialized in healing the broken minds of jedi, something Mat desperately needed and craved. What he really need, though, was a parent. He needed someone to hug him and tell him he was going to be okay. She is many things, but she is not a parent. She cannot lie to him like that, and she cannot comfort him the way he needs. Jaan knew Almenia was far more willing to hug her padawan, that Obi-Wan and Anakin both are willing to offer physical signs of affection that Mat is used to receiving, but he at the same time is hesitant to let someone else show that level of familiarity. He’s formal with her, even though she is one of the more informal jedi. He keeps a respectful tone most of the time, He doesn’t open himself up to her, and if he disagrees he always prefaces it with ‘with all due respect’. She should have let Obi-Wan train him, that would have been better.

“Master Kuran? May I come in?” Her padawan was good at concealing himself in the force when he wanted to be. 

“Of course you may, Mat.” She looked up from her lightsaber and offered her padawan a small smile,  “Is something on your mind?”

He shook his head and walked through the door, sitting in front of her. “No, I just… felt I should say I appreciate the fact that you took me on as your padawan. I know it was an unusual situation. And I am grateful for everything you have taught me.”

That caught her off guard, here she felt like she has taught him absolutely nothing. “What exactly are you thanking me for teaching you? I’m always happy to have a grateful student, but you seem to be a student that knows almost as much as his teacher.”

He blinked at her. It was times like these that it was easy for her to remember that his species were once predators. Between that and his very sharp teeth that she has never seen. On him, the expression made him look his age, he looked genuinely confused, “You taught me how to feel alive again, you’re trying to teach me how to trust in myself again. You’ve also shown me that there are different ways to lead people, and that is a valuable lesson I could not have gotten from anyone else. So thank you.”

Jaan smiled at him, “You’re welcome Mat. You’ve taught me a great deal as well. I am honored to be your teacher.”

“And I am honored to be your student.” With that, he stood up. He was tall, even for Togruta, and his montrails made him look even taller. “I’m going to go modify my starfighter now… if you need me.”

“I shall certainly find you if I do, Mat.” He was starting to open up. Perhaps she was reaching him after all. Perhaps she was creating a rival out of nothing.

#oc: jaan kuran #oc: Matahd Sa #oc: almenia costa #Qui-gon Jinn mention #Mace Windu Mention #star wars the clone wars #star wars #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

Family

Word Count: 815

Tags: None

Summary: Baves finds himself on the people who helped shaped who he is today. From a padawan to a knight, from the Clone Wars to the Rebellion.

AN: Written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars prompt Those who raised you

Baves looked at himself in the mirror and sighed a little bit. He could see the exhaustion on his face. He’s not sure he would have wanted anyone else to have had impacts on his life.

Master Arif Bageeh probably had the biggest influence. The man was a mirakula jedi master who not only made certain everyone’s opinions were heard but also made sure that no matter what everyone knew that he would try to support them. Arif was the person who had dropped everything to try to find him when he managed to get lost. He was the man who showed him that even though jedi were being called to fight, that there was sometimes another option. He was the man who could find him sitting on top of a walker and just hold him after a rough battle. He was the closest thing Baves ever had to a father. And that’s why the clothes he wears have some of the same colors that Arif Bageeh wore.

Shade was a clone trooper. He was specifically a scout but that didn’t matter. Shade was the clone who had walked up to him pretty much after every training session with some kind of snack in hand. Shade was the person who taught him how to move quietly without being seen no matter the environment. Shade was the person who didn’t judge him for being afraid; even after Master Bageeh told him that it was okay to get scared. Shade was the one who showed him that moving forward doesn’t have to mean moving on alone.  Baves got a matching tattoo to Shade’s. Shade had the word vod tattooed on his right shoulder. Baves got the matching one when he was twenty, he got the word vod tattooed on his right shoulder, so that he could never forget who he had been. 

Shiro Isiabill was a fellow padawan who had survived Order 66. Shiro helped teach him more lightsaber forms. Shiro also showed him that sometimes being a Jedi was something could be shown by just helping everyone in whatever way you can. Shiro wasn’t much older than Baves and yet he made it clear that sometimes the old ways were wrong, and that they still had value. 

Aura’krazi was probably the most headstrong jedi he’s ever met. She saw patience as something that could be an afterthought in a fight, and yet she made it the most important part of her day after Order 66. She knew war was hard, and she knew that they deserved to be kids too, so she let both him and Nu just do that. They were kids on Alderaan. They were safe, and she made sure that they were safe. From Aura he learned that sometimes in a fight he can’t be patient first, but that he should always give a child a chance to be a child. And that giving a child a safe haven is more important than any fight he could take on.

Matahd Sa was many things. To call him a mentor would be wrong. To call him a friend would also be wrong. Matahd Sa was a hero to many people. To the Empire, he was possibly their most dangerous enemy to hold two lightsabers. To Baves? He was a role model. Matahd stood up and kept fighting, maybe not for the right reasons initially, but for reasons none the less. Matahd got him into the rebellion, more importantly, though, Matahd got him to find a purpose that could help more people. Sure Baves could have been content to just live a quiet life. He could have been an archivist and content, but now he travels the galaxy. People know his name and know they can ask him for help. Matahd showed him that while people can recognize your name, they should also be able to recognize your actions. From Mat, he learned how to be his genuine self, and that is a lesson Baves can never forget.

For better or worse they taught him, shaped him, and in some cases raised him. They made him who he is today. Tired, broken, but strong enough to stand and smile. They made him kind even when being kind hurt. They made him a jedi. 

“If you’re done staring at yourself in the mirror, we have work to do. According to Fulcrum, there are still several empire strongholds that need to be taken out.” A familiar voice spoke.

“How would you know I’m staring in the mirror?” He carefully rebraided a section of his hair hidden by his hood. “You’re not even looking at me.”

“I know what you do when you’re lost in your head, little one.” The man responded gently. “Come on Baves, what were you thinking about?”

“Family, old man. I was thinking about family.” He smiled at the grey-haired man, “After you.”

#oc: Baves Urety #oc: Shade #oc: Arif Bageeh #oc: Shiro Isiabill #oc: Aura'krazi #oc: Matahd Sa #star wars the clone wars #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

Comprehensive List of Force Users

Jedi Masters

Hu Aszong

Titles: High General, General, Jedi Master

Bio: A Kel Dor Jedi who has trained several Jedi before his padawan, Aurak’razi. Hu is a thoughtful man, whose lessons are not always what his headstrong padawan wants to hear. His age brought him a lot of patience to put up with a great deal and he often finds that being patient eventually means they will learn. He is not often one for a practical joke, though when the mood strikes him, he can become a menace to whoever chooses to enter the same room as him. Hu specializes in healing through the force which makes him perfect for dealing with headstrong padawans who get hurt a great deal. One of hu’s other padawans was none other than Almenia Costa.

Pavi Bevu Dooku

Titles: High General, General, Jedi Master, Countess of Sereno

Bio: A half Zabrak half Human Jedi Master who, by accident, is a second-generation Jedi Master. Her mother was half Iridonian and half Dathomirian, leading to Pavi getting the traditional Nightbrother Tattoos that were her blood right as an infant. She was apprenticed to Yan Dooku, partially out of Dooku’s guilt for what happened to her mother and partially because he wanted to train her so she could be the best Jedi she could possibly be. She lost both of her arms to an explosion as a padawan and had to relearn how to do most things relating to fighting and day to day actions. She trained Jedi Knights Alana Oreson and Ramirhe Jacora. She primarily teaches lightsaber combat forms to younglings and padawans in the Jedi temple. Pavi is a very centered Jedi who is more likely to have fun than people give her credit for. She spends a great deal of time keeping tabs on Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and the antics he has gotten himself into

Jaan Kuran

Titles: High General, General, Jedi Master

Bio: A Human Jedi Master who ended up taking on Matahd Sa as her third padawan. She is not the first Jedi to pick a fight and tends to be more relaxed when it comes to padawans. She is a fairly calm and relaxed Jedi who is willing to take the time to bring out the best in anyone, no matter how long it takes and no matter how odd it looks.

Arif Bageeh

Titles: High General, General, Jedi Master

Bio: A Mirakula Jedi Master who trained two padawans before Baves Urety. Arif spent much of his time before the clone wars traveling the galaxy to learn more about the force, which included spending several years on Dathomir between his first two padawans, as a result, sometimes when he uses the force it resembles Daothmirian magiks. Arif is very open about his feelings when it comes to his padawans. He is a bit less open about his relationship with fellow Jedi Master, Jaro Tapal, but that is a consequence of his time as a jedi. Even though Arif is blind, as all Mirakula are, he can still see through the force and specializes in force visions. He is a talented fighter who uses a dual bladed green lightsaber, though due to his relationship with Jaro Tapal, they often switch lightsabers to the point that some of his padawans don’t know which lightsaber is actually his. Arif had an almost eternally optimistic outlook that only shattered when he was around Jaro Tapal, or if his padawan was not present. Over the years he has collected a surprising amount of random skills, including fixing droids, ships, first aid, and how to mix drinks.

Almenia Costa

Titles: High General, General, Jedi Master, Hero of Corellia

Bio: She was a Togruta Jedi master who only trained Matahd Sa as her padawan. She spent much of her time arguing over little things with her padawan though cared deeply about him. She specialized in using shatterpoints in the force during lightsaber combat, and she had hoped that her particular specialization would help her teach Matahd how to let go of other’s emotions. Almenia was very proud of her padawan and was always willing to brag to any Jedi who would listen. She ended up dying over Corellia and left behind a holocron, lightsaber hilt, and robe for her padawan.

Jedi Knights

Alana Oreson

Titles: Jedi Knight

Bio: A half Mirilian half Human Jedi Knight who mostly helps with the younglings. She is a highly skilled healer who does not often go out into fights, finding she can help more in the temple, healing the many Jedi who get hurt during the course of the war. Much like her master, she is very calm and patient, though if the need arises she is a skilled duelist who is not to be trifled with. Alana often lets herself get roped into pranks lead by padawans and younglings against other Jedi Knights. She has considered taking on a padawan several times but never committed.

Ramirhe Jacora

Titles: General, Jedi Knight, Count of Clan Jacora

Bio: A Human who comes from Concordia. His family is a long line of proud mandalorians, and while he has read a great deal about them, he has only been to his home Star System twice. Ramirhe is a headstrong and selfless Jedi who would much rather put himself in danger than anyone else. He lost his left leg as a young knight protecting Senator Alyeil Laygos. Ramirhe, like his master, is a skilled duelist though he finds most of his comfort in a starfighter where it is less likely he will have an issue with his prosthetic leg. He has a mixed relationship with his origins, and he tries not to talk about it. Though his men all know that he is fluent in Mando’a and he does wear some pieces of traditional mandalorian armor as a part of his Jedi robes. Ramirhe ended up marrying Alyeil about three years before the Clone Wars began, and his marriage is pretty well hidden for the most part (though if you ask his Commander it’s as plain as day). He did train one other padawan before taking on Aubewem. His previous padawan barely becoming a Knight 2 years into the Clone Wars.

Ses Hasai

Titles: General, Jedi Knight

Bio: A Mon Calimari Jedi Knight who specializes in underwater combat. Ses is a fairly cheerful Jedi who is often found meditating or swimming if he can find a body of water that will allow him to swim in. 

Jedi Padawans

Matahd Sa

Titles: General, Commander, Jedi Padawan, Jedi Knight, Jedi Master, Hero of Corellia, High General of the Rebellion, Vassal of House Organa

Bio: A Togruta Jedi Padawan who was first apprenticed to Almenia Costa, and then to Jaan Kuran. Matahd is too aware of other’s emotions to the point of it being overwhelming. As a youngling, he would sometimes lose focus on himself and see either what was happing to someone he was closed to or what might happen to someone he was close to. He often argued with his master, Almenia Costa about little things that in truth didn’t matter, though he did respect her. At the beginning of the clone wars he watched as his master and most of his men died in a fight over Corellia. He ended up barely winning the fight, though it almost cost him his life. As a result, any of his surviving men stayed in his command and were called the Corellia 200. He tends to be more reserved and he’s less likely to do something without thinking it through. He also refuses to send people into dangerous situations knowing it might get them killed. At some point, he realizes he has a crush on Clone Commander Eagle, though during the war he never admits this. With Jaan Kuran as his master, he was allowed to hop around different battle assignments to go where he was either most needed or to assist some of the Jedi he knows personally, his preference being Obi-Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker. None of the Corellia 200 call him Commander Sa, they all call him General Sa even though he’s tried to get them to stop since he never makes it an order they don’t have to listen to him.

Shiro Isiabill

Titles: Commander, Jedi Padawan, Jedi Knight, Ambassador of Alderaan

Bio: A Human Jedi Padawan apprenticed to Plo Koon. Shiro was apprenticed to Plo Koon after personally traveling to Dorin to meet with his new master. Plo Koon agreed to take him on as his padawan. He seems to have an uncanny ability to find anything beautiful about a planet he goes to so long as he has had some time to sit down and meditate for a few minutes. Shiro isn’t necessarily likely to argue with his master, but he is very likely to question his master’s choices, mostly because he wants to understand why he is doing something. Shiro is a better pilot than he is a duelist, and as a result, he spends a lot of his time learning how to duel better. At some point, he realizes he has feelings for fellow padawan, Aurak’razi, and the two begin a hesitant relationship. This relationship is one that his master likely suspected even if the two never directly addressed the matter.

Aurak’razi

Titles: Commander, Jedi Padawan, Jedi Knight

Bio: A Twi’lek Jedi Padawan apprenticed to Hu Aszong. She is headstrong and is not afraid to voice her opinion when she believes older Jedi are wrong, though mostly this shows up with her arguing over choices her fellow padawan, Matahd Sa, made personally. Aura has a gift for befriending animals and people alike, even if she rarely uses it to her advantage. At some point, she realized that she had feelings for fellow padawan, Shiro Isiabill, and the two began a hesitant relationship.

Sari Nebi Dendup

Titles: Apprentice, Jedi Padawan, Commander, Princess of Onderon, Queen of Onderon

Bio: A Human Jedi Padawan, former Sith Apprentice, apprenticed to Obi-Wan Kenobi. A princess and heir to the throne of Onderon in the Japrael system, she was given to the temple by her parents as a toddler. Two years into her time at the temple, she was kidnapped by the Dark Jedi, Xanatos. As his apprentice, she learned the ways of the dark side and received some sith tattoos on her forehead and cheek. After Anakin Skywalker became a Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan had an encounter with the young Sari and managed to convince her to give up the fight. Obi-Wan talked her down from being a sith and she agreed to become his padawan. Shortly after, Obi-Wan and Sari had another encounter with Xanatos, leading to Obi-Wan getting knocked out. Sari killed her former master, leading to Obi-Wan being disappointed, though not surprised. Sari is primarily closed off and hesitant to trust people, though she does start to make an effort to be more open to the 212th, leading to a friendship with Waxer and Boil.

Baves Urety

Titles: Commander, Jedi Padawan, Jedi Knight, General

Bio: A half Mirilian half Mirakula Jedi Padawan apprenticed to Arif Bageeh. Baves is a fairly optimistic padawan, even if he sometimes stumbles because of his fear. He often feels safest near his master or within arms reach of any clones. He often acts like a little shadow. Given the right encouragement, Baves could be an excellent healer, though he rarely applies this as a skill. In high-pressure situations when he isn’t near someone he finds familiar, he will often panic or drift into an emotional state where he isn’t in full control, and instead of using the force he gets used by it. Most of the time, he spends his free time with Shade, pulling pranks on Commander A’doxx or learning what he can from the clones.

Aubewem

Titles: Commander, Jedi Padawan, Inquisitor

Bio: A Rattataki Jedi Padawan apprenticed to Ramirhe Jacora. She is a talented force user who has made it clear that she wants to learn from her new master. Sometimes she is very impatient and doesn’t often consider the multitude of reasons she might not be allowed to do something, instead she is likely to challenge her master, something he allows because it provides him with an opportunity to turn it into a learning situation. Eventually, Aubewem gets captured by the empire and spends over a decade as an Inquisitor until an encounter with Matahd Sa where he manages to talk her down and get her back to Ramirhe Jacora, where she relearns how to use the light side of the force.

Uneyu Sum

Titles: Commander, Jedi Padawan

Bio: A Nautolan Jedi Padawan apprenticed to Ses Hasai. She is very sweet and would rather spend her time listening to stories that people could tell than learning how to fight. She spends a great deal of time learning how to assess battles in 3-D environments, which includes underwater combat training- her least favorite task.

Other Force Users

Rosahi Tos

Bio: A Cathar who eventually meets Cal Kestis and gets trained by him. Rosahi was adopted by Greez, where they learned not only how to smuggle, but gamble as well. Rosahi’s unique ability to see shatterpoints in any situation makes them a formidable combatant, and often times it won’t even look like they did anything severe to a person.

Shosh’mebe

Titles: Commander

Bio: A Twi’lek who gets adopted by Eagle and Matahd Sa. She gets trained by Mat in both lightsaber combat and how to use the force. She is a skilled lightsaber combatant, who like her adopted father, opts to use two lightsabers in a fight.

Saseli Laygos Jacora

Titles: Countess of Clan Jacora

Bio: A Human Force user and the daughter of Ramirhe Jacora and Senator Alyeil Laygos born a few months after Order 66. Saseli was trained by her father in combat and in use of the force, though she later chooses to walk away from that and becomes the Countess of Clan Jacora House Kryze.

Tavidal Laygos Jacora

Titles: Ambassador of Lothal, Senator of Lothal, Commander

Bio: A Human Force user and the son of Ramirhe Jacora and Senator Alyeil Laygos born two years before the fall of the Republic. Tavidal was also trained in combat by his father, and uses a great deal of force persuasion in politics as he follows in his mother’s footsteps and becomes a senator under the name Tavidal Laygos. He does get involved with the rebellion and briefly is known as Commander Mirhe Jacora.

Jinn Nebi Dendup

Titles: Prince of Onderon, General

Bio: A Human Force User and the son of Queen Sari Nebi Dendup and Boil, born sometime after the fall of the Empire. Jinn ends up getting trained in the force by Aubewem, to his mother’s eternal amusement and dismay. Much like his mother, he is very sure of himself and will often do what he thinks is right, even if he’s not.

#oc: Hu Aszong #oc: Pavi Bevu #oc: Jaan Kuran #oc: Arif Bageeh #oc: Almenia Costa #oc: Alana Oreson #oc: Ramirhe Jacora #oc: Ses Hasai #oc: Matahd Sa #oc: Shiro Isiabill #oc: Aura'krazi #oc: Baves Urety #oc: Aubewem #oc: Uneyu Sum #oc: Rosahi Tos #oc: Shosh'mebe #oc: Saseli Jacora #oc: Tavidal Laygos #oc: jinn nebi dendup #star wars ocs

[startrekandwars]

A Sad Inheritance

Word Count: 887

Tags: grief

Summary: Now recovering some from his injuries, Master Jocasta Nu has a few items to entrust to Matahd’s care instead of her own. Mat’s inheritance from his late Master, Almenia Costa.

AN: written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars prompt Inheritance

Mat frowned a little as he followed Master Jocastu Nu through the archives, “Master Nu... forgive me but I don’t understand what the point of this is.” His ribs ached still from the fight, he was still stiff and his heart still ached from all the death he had sensed in the force. He may be 20 years old, but what he witnessed and lived through was worse than he still understood.

“Almenia Costa insisted I hold a few items for you, young padawan. She had hoped she would be the one to give them to you, but I will do in her stead.” The librarian smiled at him, even if it was a sad smile, and pulled out a small chest she had in her office. She opened it, and removed three items. A holocron, a lightsaber hilt, and a cloak. “The first of these items is a holocron, this holocron contains lessons and words of encouragement for when you find yourself at your lowest points. The second item is a recreation of Master Qui-Gon Jinn’s lightsaber, with assistance from Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The final item is a robe she hoped you would wear when you became a Jedi Knight... I believe that you should have it anyways.” 

Mat stared at her before carefully taking the lightsaber hilt. He tested the balance of the hilt before removing his lightsaber crystal into the lightsaber and ignited the blade. The hum was familiar. It sounded the same way Master Jinn’s always did, but the blade was his purple one. As things should be. While he had built his own fully functional lightsaber, this one seemed right to hold. He clipped it onto his belt next to his master’s hilt. He knew that blade would glow a familiar blue, but her crystal should stay in her hilt. “If it’s all the same to you... I don’t want to listen to the holocron right now...”

“That’s completely fine, Matahd... I just assumed you would want these items. At the very least... they are something less negative to remember your master by.” Jocasta offered him a small smile before Mat walked away from the archivist, holding the holocron as close as he dared with hit carefully wrapped in his new robe. 

It was fairly simple as most jedi robes are, but it was also still his. Embroidered with some of the important trials he had completed. The more important part was that it was modeled after traditional Togruta designs. He walked back towards his room and set the holocron down on his desk.

“General Sa? General Kenobi said I might be able to find you here,” Fix said softly, poking his head in through the door. It felt odd for the clone be there and yet the clone was becoming a regular figure. 

“Come in Fix... I just got back from the archives.” He stared at the holocron before setting his lightsaber hilt down. He wouldn’t need it for a bit. “I take it you’re not here just to say hello.”

The medic nodded and took his helmet off, “I’m here to make sure you’re alright... some of the men have heard that we might be reassigned.”

At that, the togruta frowned, “You’re only getting reassigned when I get assigned to my new master and you clear me for duty again, Fix.”

Fix nodded and then quickly checked the jedi over for any more serious injuries, or if he had managed to aggravate something he already had. ‘Of course sir. Just... stay out of trouble for a few more days and then you can go get reassigned... or whatever it is when jedi get new masters.”

Matahd nodded a little bit. “Thank you fix.” He offered the medic a small smile and then watched the clone leave. He then closed the door with the force before carefully opening the holocron to reveal his former master’s face.

She seemed to have a small, sad smile on her face as she started to speak. “Matahd, if you’re watching this then something happened. You’re probably hurting, confused, upset, and a whole other mess of emotions that you don’t know how to deal with right now, and that’s okay. Just know that you can over come this, little one. And no matter what, I will always be proud of you. I could not have asked for a better padawan.” She paused and then looked back to the the recorder. “I have included a list of things I think you will need to hear and you can skip to them now if you would like, my young padawan. Again, I want you to know that I will alwa-”

He closed the holocron and stared at it before closing his eyes. This is his inheritance. A lightsaber fashioned after a man who never got to train him. The lightsaber of a master who was proud of him but will never see the day he gets knighted. A holocron with a reminder that she was once proud of him, A robe that was to commemorate the day he graduates and instead commemorates the day that he denied the chance to graduate. 

He wasn’t sure when he started to cry, what he did know was that he cried himself to sleep, clinging to the robe he had been gifted.

#oc: Matahd Sa #oc: Fix #oc: almenia costa #Jocasta Nu #star wars the clone wars #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

Day of Remembrance

Word Count: 546

Tags: None

Summary: After Jinn and Codes returned home with the holocron the young prince collected, Matahd Sa got his hands on it again and reflected on his time in the Clone Wars.

AN: A follow up to What Is Lost Is Sometimes Found and written for the prompt A Teaching Moment @celebrate-the-clone-wars

A hooded figure stood in the landing bay wearing a dark brown cloak, which seemed to only highlight his very blue skin. He waited patiently for the two young men to walk off fo the ship, followed by the astromech he lent them. “Prince Jinn, Commander Cody, you’ve returned safely and you brought my droid back in one piece. Did you find anything useful while you were off world?”

“For taking down the empire? No, but we did find an old holocron that we think is yours.” Jinn responded, looking down a the ground so he didn’t have to meet the violet eyes of one of the few jedi alive in the galaxy. “I may have... accidentally... opened it.”

The Togruta looked up from the droid to the amber-eyed prince. “Well then. What did you think of what you saw, Jinn?”

“You- Master Sa, you asked your men questions and you let them ask you questions in return... why?” The prince still hadn’t looked up from the spot on the ground. 

“Well, the same reason I ask everyone I end up serving with a question and letting them ask one in return- I don’t want to just be fighting alongside just another body. I want to make them a person, I want their lives to mean something. I want to know at least one thing about someone. During the Clone Wars, it was a little way I could figure out something that made each of my men different.” Mat just mocked raising an eyebrow. The intent was at least there. “Commander Cody, how do you get to know all of your men?”

The young Commander blinked a little bit. “By working with them, sir...? I don’t have a method.”

Mat just rolled his eyes. “That’s your first mistake little one. There’s always more to a person than just what you see while working with them. I could always tell apart any clone that I had ever worked with, and I could do that even if I was blind.”

An older clone walking past just sort of chuckled. “I think he made it almost a game to try to see how many clones he could name appropriately just by being put in a room with them blindfolded.”

“Oh come on Eagle, you purposefully distracted me that time.” Mat countered with a smile before looking back at the pair. “A good and kind leader knows their men and knows that whoever they work with knows them just as well. I would never tell them to do something I would not.”

“Something that got him the most scars... Some days I’m still not sure how he’s alive... let me tell you about when I first met Mat.” Eagle stated, looking at the Togruta before sitting down. “Mat had just been cleared by medical, the clone wars was still young, and he was assigned to my general at the time. She decided to give Mat as much freedom as she could, seeing as how technically he could’ve just accepted becoming a knight. A huge lengthy ceremony normally but that’s not important...”

Eagle continued to talk about that encounter for the next hour, giving the young commander and prince an example about something that you would need experience to truly understand. 

#oc: Matahd Sa #oc: eagle #oc: Jinn Nebi Dendup #oc: Commander Codes Cody #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

Coming to a close

Word Count: 1027

Tags: Death mentions

Summary: Commander Eagle learns just why his General trusts General Skywalker so much as they finish up a fight together that had lasted for several weeks.

AN: written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars Writing Wednesday Prompt The End In Sight

It didn’t take a Jedi to know when the fight was coming to a close, though Eagle was certainly glad to be fighting alongside a Jedi that he trusts. General Skywalker wasn’t normal the person he answers to, but then again, Captain Rex doesn’t normally answer to General Commander Sa, so it was probably some sort of negotiation the two had when they were formulating the plan. This particular fight had been going on for almost a month in waves. Skywalker came with reinforcements to try to end the fight about a week ago now. 

As soon as the human Jedi touched ground, Mat had the biggest grin on his face. The fight was going to be over soon, that’s what Mat told everyone. As casualties went? Everyone was mostly exhausted or mildly injured, in part because of a great deal of planning and resources like walkers, walkers they now had more of. Still, Eagle hadn’t really allowed himself to breathe, they still lost almost 7 full squads to injuries or to immediate death within the first two weeks. By the third, the total was up to 10, which was still less casualties than what General Pong Krell has from what he’s been able to gather through the grape vine. 

The thought of Mat having to work with a Jedi like that after all of this didn’t sit well with Eagle, though he didn’t have time to focus on that as he shot more super battle droids. He would have to trust Mat to be aware of what was going on around him and how he was feeling after all of this. 

“Eagle- as soon as Mat gets the shield down and external defenses out with Rex and the gang, open fire with everything we have left!” Anakin shouted, force pulling a droid close to stab it through the head. The contrast between Mat and Anakin was night and day, yet with how they were moving as a whole, they were comfortable with each other.

“Sir yes sir! We’ve got a fresh wave incoming any minute now, General Skywalker!” He threw a droid popper into the middle of a squad of droids, noting which droids Longshot had actually taken out as he did.

The human Jedi Knight sighed, exhaustion slowly starting to show in his eyes. “As soon as they take that down, the fight’s over. They’re close. I can feel it. Just hang on with me, Eagle- Mat would never forgive me anyways.”

“Of cour- sir? What do you mean by that?” He almost missed his shot when he realized what the other Jedi might be implying with that statement. 

“Focus, Commander. If we don’t focus now this whole fight is lost.”

Mat cut open the solid metal door with his two lightsabers, one blue the other a purple that almost matched his eyes if it wasn’t glowing. “You still have the explosives, Rex? Because as soon as I’m through-”

“We go in, place the charges, you play interference, and then we have to high tail it faster than a pod racer? I’ve got ‘em.” Rex responded, pulling out one of the charges. “You’re just here to buy us time.”

“And I will certainly buy you as much time as I can.” He put his lightsabers back on his belt before force pushing the metal circle well into the room. “Stay close to me, Captian. Skywalker is counting on us to do this.” The small squad started to walk through the doors. Keeping a close eye on everything around them and how many droids were present. The longer they could go without being noticed, the more chances they had on getting out. 

Eagle was now staring down several tanks that were behind a shield. “General! They’re cutting this awful close!”

“I see it, Eagle” Anakin just braced himself on top of a walker. “There’s nothing we can do right now.”

They had walked into a trap, even though all the explosives had been placed. Mat found himself crossing lightsabers with none other than General Grevious. “Captain! Get out of here that’s an order!”

“Sir, I’m not going to-”

“NOW! You have your orders, Captain!” Mat could feel himself loosing ground as he tried to push back against General Grevious. He was still slightly winded from Grevious kicking him into a wall almost a minute earlier, but he couldn’t let that stop him. 

“Foolish jedi- you think you can stop me alone? Not even General Kenobi would dare try that!” The droid general’s arms split to reveal two more, forcing the blue skinned Togruta to block two blades with each of his own. “Today, you die, Jedi!”

Mat dry laughed. “I promised my friend that I wouldn’t die until he did, sorry to disappoint, General Grevious.” As soon as the explosives go off, Mat has about two minutes to get completely out of the base if he doesn’t want to get hurt too. He can manage that. Some how. “Besides, you’ve walked into our trap.”

The other general growled, his metallic voice turning into a cough. “What do you mean, jedi scum?”

“I’m not the one with the detonator.” Mat’s slightly pointed teeth were visible when he said that, and then even more when he felt the ground shake from Rex detonating the explosives. “See you later, Grevious!” 

The shield and wall defenses of the fortress fell, Eagle just smiled under his helmet. “OPEN FIRE!! GIVE ‘EM EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT!!” Matahd and Rex did it, now all he has to do is make sure that it was worth it.

A dozen walkers fired at both the other tanks, and at the wall. The droids being forced into a retreat. “I told you they could do it. Everything is just fine.” Anakin said with a grin, continuing to slice down some straggling droids.

“Yes you did sir. I’ll sent a gunship to pick them up.” Eagle answered, allowing himself to relax now. “It’s over.”

“For now, yeah. There’s always more to fight somewhere else. Here and now? We’ve won.” The Jedi jumped back and put his hand on the clone’s shoulder. “Now let’s go pick up our guys.”

#oc: Commander Eagle #star wars #star wars the clone wars #Anakin Skywalker #oc: Matahd Sa #Captain Rex #Pong Krell Mention #oc: longshot #general grievous #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

Shadows of Monsters

Word Count: 1746

Tags: N/A

Summary: Matahd finds himself face to face with Darth Vader and learns quickly that the worst monsters are the ones you used to know

AN: written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars Writing Wednesday Prompt Monsters

Mat’s violet eyes narrowed as he caught his lightsabers. He trusted Eagle to throw them exactly when he needed them. And they were indeed there. Igniting them with the practice he never forgot, he blocked the blow coming down from the sith lord in front of him. Six feet tall, dressed in all black, a helmet that prevented any possible view of his face was definitively not what Mat was expecting when he landed, yet there he was. “How many people know you work with a clone commander? Surely people would be suspicious, Jedi.”

“How many people know your form 3 really needs some work, Sith?” He countered, his voice dropping the fake Shili accent and slipping back into the high Courasaunt accent expected from him. “I have to admit, I struggled to figure out who you were under that mask. You see, the person I used to spar against was more elegant. But then it hit me, cybernetic replacements would prevent you from reaching for your favored battle forms. So I got to thinking, who would fight like this?” The Jedi Knight slid under his opponent and then used the Sith’s growing anger to fuel his fluid slashes and leap backwards away from the Sith. Hit hit jump. A child’s move with a master’s form. “Anakin Skywalker. The only person you could’ve been, the only person still alive to slip past me because in the Force all I registered was my friend and the pain he felt. I never considered that you would go from my brother to my enemy. Yet here we are.”

The human growled under the mask. “You are toying with me. Anakin Skywalker is dead. You know this as well as I yet you use that name. I will admit, Matahd Sa, you also have slipped past me with ease, this is something I plan on rectifying.” If he was going to use moves from their childhood, he planned on using the counters. Two hits and a jump back countered by a leap and downward slash and a force pull. And he leapt with the same practice.

Expecting the force pull, he pushed against it. “Your anger unbalances you, Anakin. It makes you sloppy. Unfocused. This will be your down fall.” The words of Obi-Wan found voice through Mat. “Your anger cannot counter my calm.”

“If you want to beat Mat, you have to find the gap in his attacks. He hits twice and jumps back. When he jumps back he switches into a defensive form. Here watch me,” Obi-Wan helped Anakin up and then picked up the training lightsaber, squaring off against the young togruta. “Come at me Mat.”

Eager to prove him wrong, Mat took a deep breath before leaping forwards hitting and being countered twice. As he went to leap backwards, Obi-Wan stuck his foot out from under him and spun, knocking him flat on his back. “Oww!!! That’s no fair you cheated!”

“No. I found your weakness. You know actual combat forms but you prefer your composite form. Allowing the strengths of multiple forms. You need to be aware of those new weaknesses too.” The young knight countered, gently helping Mat back up. “Come on you two, I think you have enough bruises. Lets go get something to eat.”

Mat grinned and then looked at Anakin. “I’ll race you Skywalker!”

“You’ll lose, Sa!!” And then he sped off. Leaving Mat in the dust until he force leaped.

“NO RUNNING IN THE TEMPLE!!” Obi-Wan shouted, now running after them to try to stop them.

Mat jumped all the way on top of a building to buy himself some time. What Anakin now lacked in speed, he made up in force. He had to be faster and lighter if he wanted to best his old friend. “Do you remember how Obi-Wan taught us? He always saw that you favored aggression. He showed you what it took to beat me when we were kids. And when we sparred in the Clone Wars? We were even matches.” He watched as his old friend leapt up and landed hard. Leading Mat to jump onto the thin pipes. “My calm and your anger together was an unequaled balance. I cooled your fury and in turn you heated up my calm to the point that we danced between light and dark easily, it was a balance only we could achieve and yet here we are- so far from that balance that it seems like a distant dream.”

“And you are on the wrong side. The Jedi were weak and corrupted. Join me and together we can be what we once were! Powerful and without an equal. We don’t have to fight, Matahd. Yet you insist on the wrong path.” Vader followed him, striking out at Mat’s side, which the togruta blocked without losing his balance.

The other took two steps back before flipping over Anakin by almost a good extra five feet, landing on the building instead of the pipes. “Anakin- do you even hear yourself?! The Jedi weren’t perfect, but the never harmed innocents. We failed the Clones but we always minimized casualties. We did the riskiest assignments so no one else got hurt. And now? Now you walk into villages and cities and slaughter them all, where as all I do is save as many as I can. How can you insist you are in the right when you cause so much pain?” Hurt radiated from both of them in the force. They were inseparable. “How can you think I would join you after all of this destruction? Can’t you see that you’ve become a monster?! This is madness!!”

“No. You are the only one suffering from madness, Matahd Sa. You like all Jedi are corrupt. And you ability to feel pain in the force should prove that.” Anakin stopped restraining himself, unintentionally, in the force. He hadn’t forgotten that the Togruta was prone to being overwhelmed if there was enough emotional turmoil around him. He was also aware that unintentionally, Mat focused on him as an anchor. But now? Now he let the tidal wave crash down. As it did, Mat collapsed on the ground, his hands going from his lightsabers to the sides of his head. He couldn’t see straight. He couldn’t think straight. He could barely feel the ground beneath him. “I am not your friend, Jedi. He died long ago. And you are lost without him.”

“I mean come on, Mat. Its like you can’t think when anyone mentions Eagle. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were attached to him.” Anakin teased as they continued to walk through the pass to get back with their new intel. “So... what’s the deal with you?”

“I’m not lost without Eagle. I’m just... used to him. Its not like when I’m with you or Kenobi, I have to keep myself focused all the time. He just... makes it easier.” The Togruta picked up a small rock and threw it at his friend. “I could ask the same of you and Senator Amidala, come on we both know she’s more than just a friend~”

“You are the worst Mat- she really is just a good friend... I won’t tell Obi-Wan if you won’t though.” The two knew full well that the redhead could see right through them both if they weren’t careful.

Mat just nodded. “Dea-“ His violet eyes widened before he collapsed onto the ground, screaming. So much death. There was so much death. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. One minute they were alive and now there was a wave of death that just washed over him.

“Mat?! Mat!!!” Anakin had placed both of his hands on his shoulders. “Mat focus on me. Focus on me, come on I know you can see me.” He moved his hand so it was on the side of his friend’s head, focusing so that he was more obvious in the force. “Come back to me Mat... please come back to me. Come back to me.”

Eagle rested his forehead against Mat’s, not moving. “We need you grounded in the present Mat. Sari needs your help and you can’t help her like this.”

Mat’s voice sounded strained as he managed to speak. “I’m here... I’m right here.” Slowly, he managed to close himself off from the tidal wave of emotions Anak-Vader flooded him with. “I’m okay, Eagle.” He placed a kiss on the Clone’s lips and then forced a smile. “Really, I’m okay so long as you’re here.”

“Good. Just keep your focus on me and not Vader- I don’t want you to get hurt because of that.” The former Commander pressed an almost desperate kiss on his former general’s lips. “Go kick his ass, General.”

“Of course, commander.” He grinned honestly this time before running off towards the fight. Three blocks away, Sari Nebi was trading furious blows with Vader.

Sari had a wicked grin on her face as the two Jedi flipped, trading places. So that she was behind Vader while Mat was in front. Trading when they would attack. “Looks like you’re running out of steam, Vader.” Her black tattoos, faded but still obvious seemed to get a hair lighter. They still contrasted with her blood red hair, and her amber eyes. “And we’re just getting started.”

Vader growled again as he attempted to force push both of them away, the pair only grounding themselves further. “You have made yourselves a powerful enemy this day, Matahd Sa and Sari Nebi. Do not forget this.” Then, he stepped backwards off of the building.

Mat lunged as if he could catch his former friend, Sari stopping him. “Wait-“ A tie fighter almost screamed as it took off with Vader standing on top. Watching the two Jedi on the roof top. “Lets get you out of here, Mat.”

He nodded, staring as he felt Vader get further and further away before leaning against Sari. The two jumped down off of the building and hid their lightsabers.

Eagle jumped off and grappled down, running to meet up with them. “Mat- Sari-“

“We’re okay. I mean, Sa should probably lay down for a while but we’re both okay. What happened?” She asked, handing Mat off so Eagle was now supporting him.

“I came face to face with a monster, and I wasn’t prepared to deal with it.” Mat answered, not even resisting. “He’s gone... there’s nothing left but pain and anger.”

#oc: matahd sa #oc: commander eagle #oc: sari nebi #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #darth vader #star wars the clone wars #pre-star wars rebels #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

The vault of grief

 Word Count: 681

Tags: Death, Grief

Summary: After the death of Almenia Costa, Matahd Sa is withdrawn and uncertain. With new injuries and the beginnings of a war, the Togruta is fearful of the future. A visit from a Jedi he’s familiar with doesn’t appear to help either

AN: Written for @celebrate-the-clone-wars for Into the Vault

The togruta lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, unable and unwilling to move at all from his present position. He heard the voice of his Clone jailkeeper medic speaking to some at the door that had just opened. “General Sa is trying to rest, sir. I can tell him that you stopped by if you would like.”

“They’ll be no need for that, I just came to sit with him. I know what it’s like to lose a master.” The second voice responded gently. “As it is, I’ve been kicked out of my own Padawan’s room. The least I can do is try to help here.” 

Footsteps could be heard as the two men approached the bed that the padawan was laying on. “General? General Kenobi is here. Don’t try to move or do anything that would injure yourself more- I don’t want to have to restart your heart for the third time.” The medic stated, gently propping the blue-skinned Jedi up.

Mat just nodded a little bit and avoided the concerned blue eyes that were studying him so intently. “Have they decided when they’re going to hold the service for Master Costa?” 

“Once you’re well enough to stand on your own. It will be a separate service from the memorial for all the Jedi that died on Geonosis... Matahd... what happened?”

Again, the padawan did his best to avoid the Jedi Master’s gaze. “I let her take my fighter since I had modded it to fly faster... We were ambushed and she got shot down... So I got in her fighter and ended up using the ship as a torpedo until Master Secura could arrive. There were so many droids... There are so many dead clones...”

“Mat, look at me, please.” The man just gently put his hand on the uninjured arm of the padawan. “What you did today was beyond brave- reckless and completely something Anakin would do if I turned my back for even a second- but it was still brave. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to defend Corellia and your men. That is something I doubt many will ever be capable of claiming. Not only did you risk yourself for who was left, but you did it while you were already in some degree of shock... Corellia is a tragedy but your survival never will be.”

Mat met the gentle blue eyes of Obi-wan Kenobi and simply nodded a little bit. “Master Kenobi... I don’t want to be a Jedi Knight... please.” His voice sounded desperate. “I would do anything to not be a knight.”

Obi-Wan looked concerned. “What reasons do you have for not wanting to be a knight?” He knows that not so long ago, Mat would’ve done anything to become a knight sooner rather than later. And now he hesitates.

“If the council makes me a Jedi Knight now... I won’t make it to the end of the war. I’m not in a position where I can lead others, let alone myself... I do not have the training to do that.” The hollowed violet eyes that were normally so bright didn’t waver as they met blue eyes. 

“Very well. I shall tell that to the council. They’ll find a new master for you until you feel you are ready.” Obi-wan then stood up and looked at the Clone before looking back at Mat. “It feels impossible now... but it does get better, Mat. Believe me.”

Matahd said nothing. He just closed his eyes and waited for the Jedi to leave.

Obi-wan’s meeting with Mat troubled him. the young padawan was drowning in grief. It radiated off of him with the same force that Obi-wan had imagined his own grief had radiated off of him. But the intensity was concerning. He was definitively going to ask the Council to keep a close eye on him. This war was going to be long and painful, but something told him that the amount of pain he felt radiating off of Mat would end up being minor comapred to the end of the war.

#oc: Matahd Sa #oc: Fix #Obi-wan Kenobi #Star wars #star wars the clone wars #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

A Letter to a Master

Word Count: 387

Tags: Depression, death, suicidal wishes/thoughts, grief

Summary: After injuring his shoulder in combat by being distracted by his emotions, Matahd Sa composes a letter for his late Master, Almenia Costa.

An: This is a part of a series, Letters of a Former Jedi. This was written for @finish-the-clone-wars Within the Vault

Master Costa,

It was suggested by Master Kuran that I write letters to you in order to help me move past your sudden death.

I find this to be stupid.

Perhaps it is because I do not believe writing a letter will change the pain that I feel, but I could be mistaken.

There’s also the- I did something stupid and now Fix is making me sit out of combat a week thing. But that’s not important.

I want to hate you. I want to hate you for leaving me and for making me feel alone. I want to hate you for taking everything I’ve known from me but I can’t because I am a Jedi and I know in my heart that hating you changes nothing.

You were the first adult to believe in my ability to be a jedi after Master Jinn’s sudden death. You trained me and nurtured me in a way that has let me become someone my men all respect.

You did that all from a youngling who could sense so much emotion and pass out from sudden force visions.

You did that for someone who had believed they would be nothing.

And so I should be thanking you for that. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be half the Jedi I am today.

That doesn’t stop me from missing you. That doesn’t stop me from wishing it was me who died in that ship instead of you. That doesn’t stop me from hating myself for letting you die.

I guess.... I was never mad at you. I’m just constantly mad at me.

Master Costa, I need you here because I don’t know how to stop. I feel like I’m that youngling trying to fight all the emotions I senses around me and that they’re drowning me again because I can’t get out of this. I need you here to show me how.

Please.

I- I need you here.

I am afraid of my mind.

I am afraid of my heart.

I told the council if they made me a Knight now I would not make it to the end of the war and I am afraid that it is true.

I am so lost, Master.

I need to end this, Fix wants to check on my shoulder.

Your lost Apprentice,

Matahd Sa

#oc: matahd sa #oc: fix #oc: jaan kuran #oc: almenia costa #letters of a former jedi #star wars the clone wars #star wars #writing wednesday drabbles

[startrekandwars]

A Letter from a father

Word Count: 303

Tags: None

Summary: After the fall of the Empire, Mat has started to see visions of a growing darkness. To battle this he has decided to leave, but not without leaving a letter to his youngest daughter, Amerlaa. The letter is a later installment to Letters of a Former Jedi.

My precious Ameé,

I have often told you that Jedi Order of my time frowned upon attachments to the point that if you were suspected of having one, you would be sent to a mind healer or on retreat for solitary meditation. You grew up in no such order and have been able to know your father and I, love your husband, and now carry your first child. As a father, I cannot help but feel proud of the woman you have become. As a Jedi Master however, I cannot help but feel shame. It is those clashing identities I still fight and struggle with. That is partially why I have distanced myself from you.

The other part is far more serious.

It has become apparent that it is my destiny to fight when I see injustice growing in the universe, and there is darkness I cannot yet name growing in the universe.

I have decided to call upon Queen Sari Nebi Dendup once again to help me search out for this darkness.

It is my hope we can stop it before it become a threat, however I know that not to be the case.

Amerlaa, my beautiful daughter, stay close to your friends from the Rebel Alliance, your new Republic. Stay close with Shos, though I know your older sister will object. And keep your father safe. As much as I love him, this is one mission I will not take him on.

I fully intend on being there on the day you welcome your child into the world, but I do not know if that will be the case.

Know that you both are in my heart as I set off on this “Half brained” plan of mine. May the Force be with you.

Your bull headed father,

Matahd Sa Pendlen

#oc: matahd sa #oc: amerlaa pendlen #oc: commander eagle #oc: eagle #star wars #letters of a former jedi #writing wednesday drabbles