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#ohitselmo
ohitselmo · 3 years
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Just noticed that I started a post about my mental health in June but never posted it. I'll write a new post concerning (my) mental health soon.
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ohitselmo · 4 years
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24 April ‘20, 01.24AM
So, this pandemic is not doing any favors for my mental health. I was doing better and working on getting better mentally before the lockdown happened. Little did I know that it would have that much of an impact on my mental health. We live in a spacious house and have the freedom to go out for walks etc. Plus, I still have uni (online), so I thought I’d be busy and not bored at home. However, studying these lectures and seminars at home is harder than I thought; some of them are podcasts others are zoom meetings. But I miss university! I miss being there physically with my friends. I’m behind in my studies and I have a hard time catching up. I know that I have to catch up because final exams are approaching soon which only increases the pressure on me. I can physically feel the tension in my head; it feels like someone is pushing really hard on my head. Every single day, it feels like a mental battle to conquer the day because of the lack of motivation and anxiety. I don’t even have the energy to study all my lectures at times. I feel mentally exhausted after each zoom meeting or podcast. My cousin told me to take breaks and go out but I feel guilty if I don’t study. Does that make sense? I think, my studies and I have a toxic relationship. 
I recently started a devotional called “Victory over Anxiety” which has helped me to cope with my anxiety lately. I was able to let go of the fear (of my future) and I think if I start planning my days better, I can gradually improve my mental state. I hope that I will be doing better after finals. 
Maybe I should also talk to my friends about that and check up on them. We are all in this together and I guess more people are struggling than we think. I hope you are all safe and healthy. <3
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ohitselmo · 4 years
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2 May ‘20, 03.35PM
I changed my diet and I’m currently trying out the ketogenic diet. My goal is to lose a bit more than 10 kg (22 pounds). I’ve gained weight in the past months and I don’t feel comfortable anymore. I used to be fit and skinny-ish. So, I want to get back to that. I don’t want to just lose weight; I also want to feel, be and stay healthy. My father suffered a heart attack two years ago and was diagnosed with coronary artery disease and diabetes which can be genetically inherited (as the doctor explained). Therefore, I need to take care of my body and health. 
I thought about changing from very-low-carb diet to low-carb diet after I’ve lost some weight. However, these past days have been hard as my body is still adjusting to the change (I had constant stomach aches and major head aches the past days). I’m trying my best to pull through tho and achieve my goal. 
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ohitselmo · 4 years
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It's been 2 months since I posted my relationship posts & I decided to post one (hopefully) last open letter regarding that relationship. I've been confronted with memories and thoughts of that time lately and lived through certain emotions again. My friend asked me, if I've ever asked or told him everything that has been on my mind during or after dating him. Months ago, I did ask him several questions every now and then but I felt like it harmed my mental health. So I tried to break off contact with him & move on. It hurt but helped me (especially his reaction to me breaking off contact, made it easier because he seemed like he did not care at all). That's why I don't understand why these emotions and feelings have been coming back.
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ohitselmo · 4 years
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19 February '20, 11.23PM
My sister and I went to dinner with a friend who used to be like a brother to us. We were not really in touch the past few years but it was nice seeing him again. It was so much fun to talk about the old days. He still remembered a lot from then and we were laughing non-stop. It was just great. It's awesome how you can re-connect after a few years and still vibe on a good level or even the same level as before.
Moreover, I received an email from my favorite professor confirming to be my BA thesis supervisor. I'm sooo excited and glad that she accepted to supervise my paper. She's an amazing professor and I'm extremely impressed by her knowledge. I really wanted her for my bachelor thesis. I'm looking forward to working with her.
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ohitselmo · 6 years
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13 April ‘18, 7.01PM
Hey, it’s Friday the 13th today but nothing spooky or creepy happened to me today! (Thank God tho, I get scared pretty easily). 
I got a post sitting in the drafts for over a week now. For some reasons I never completed and posted it. The text post is about friendship and my personal (past) friendships. I mostly wrote about my shitty experiences and I had or still have a lot to say, so I never finished it. Maybe I will post it in two parts because I do not like long text posts. 
Today, I decided to walk to University rather than to take the tram. It was a beautiful spring day and I did not mind walking a bit more. On my way to University, I thought of a new goal for 2018 (yea, 4 months after the year has started but that’s still better than nothing, right?). I want to run a marathon this year. I am not a runner nor am I an athlete. I googled how one can prepare for a marathon and it said that about 6 months should be adequate for a beginner. I hope I will manage to stay focused and train until the day comes. I do not have a personal trainer or a friend who will accompany me on this way. I pray google will be enough! I will keep you updated and today is Day 1 of training for me! See ya!
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