People keep saying ‘we stan Happy now’ after FFH as if Tony stans haven’t been stanning him since the first Iron Man movie. Happy Hogan ain’t a new character, y'all have just been sleeping on him.
Wong: so, you have any plan for weekend?
Stephen: I -
Tony: oh he will have dinner with me and Pep tonight
Pepper: and go to Paris with us on Saturday -
Tony: - Sunday will be sunny. I checked! Let’s go swimming!
Tony & Pepper *drag Stephen away*: see you on Monday, Wong!
Rhodey: well, at least they left us here in peace
Natalie Rushman, when she was first employed by Tony: So how does Tony usually get out of these messes?
Pepper: He doesn’t. He just makes a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.
Tony, very drunk: *points at Pepper* That’s my girlfriend, suckers!
Rhodey: Uh she’s your wife
Tony: My wife! Even better!
we deserved an Iron Man/War Machine/Rescue movie, and we still deserve it!
oh lmao me too tony 😂tony would 100% do that cliche thing where he pretends to read a newspaper and he wears blocky sunglasses as a disguisehe’s rlly bad at it tho and peter immediately recognizes him
MJ: uhh is that tony stark???
peter: yeah but I’m pretending not to see him so he doesn’t feel bad about his disguiseeventually tony realizes his acting isn’t good enough, so he recruits pepper. her disguise game is better, but also she’s very trusting of peter and so she doesn’t pay that much attention while stalking him and MJ
tony: so how are they? they’re not breaking any laws, right?
pepper, scrolling through tony stark memes on twitter: lmao they’re fine
tony: what are they doing tho
pepper, looking up and realizing she lost sight of them: uh. *makes static noises* sorry you’re breaking up *more static noises* must be a storm— *hangs up*so tony gets steve. except he’s VERY recognizable no matter what
person: oh, hey, it’s captain America!!!
person: do the voice, do the voice!!
steve: not now—
steve, quietly: uhhh *in his iconic dad voice* only you can prevent wildfires?
peter, immediately recognizing the voice from detention videos: sIR?next, tony probably pretends there’s a crime in the area and he interrupts the date because of that, but pepper tells him he’ll cause panic if he keeps that upturns out that peter and MJ don’t even plan what to do on most dates; they just watch tony and co. scramble to sneak around cuz that’s HILARIOUS and far more entertaining than a movie or smththey’ll purposely make it hard for tony and co. sometimes
MJ: what if WE wear disguisesthey go in cosplay or something, and sure enough, tony and co. FLIPtony calls may, but may is in on it, and so when tony is like “I CANT FIND PETER???” may is like “hmm have you tried retracing your footsteps?” and she covers the microphone to snicker peter and MJ eventually decide to just invite the gang to go with because if they’re going to hang around no matter what, peter and MJ might as well get front seats to their drama 😂
ok! That’s all folks!!!
peter: cat person. I’m SORRY he just IS! did you see him with the cat in the sandwich shop?????? soft!! lovely!!! cat person!!! he loves that cat so much!!! also dogs will eat his legos whereas cats will not. my dog eats all my stuff. he eats my socks. a dog would eat the spiderman suit. however, peter still likes dogs! ned: dog person. idk I feel like he’s friendly and loyal!! but he definitely likes cats too! I feel like his family has a dog! probably a big dog!! pillow dog!!! idk I don’t have much reasoning here, but I’m rightMJ: cat person. she reads and draws and stuff, and cats are good companions when u sit around and read! evidence: my cat is here rn and my dog is not ;-; tony: cat person, but barely. once again, dogs eat important stuff. they’ll eat his blueprints, they’ll chew on Dum-E. no cats in the lab either though, because they knock stuff off his shelves. In truth, tony is probably a snake person. or fish. maybe birds but they peck stuffpepper: dog person! she likes cats, but she’s always up and moving and when you move around a lot, you can scare cats! she cares for her pets and doesn’t want them to be bothered by her lifestyle!! so she wants a dog who will be energetic and do stuff with her!!may: probably dog person. she’s caring in an energetic sort of way! she’s talkative and she’s always nice, except when someone is mean to someone she cares about, and then she’s like “oh ok you waNNA GO?” once again, she probably likes cats tho! she would have a cat! she would sit with her cat on the couch and wait for peter to come home while she worries!! but she would rather do it with a dog!
Ok !!! I think that’s all the peter squad but tbh I don’t know the exact members of the peter squad so lemme know if I missed one!!
me, crying: no i haven’t done this ;-; this is so softiron-fam movie night probably includes peter, may, pepper, tony, morgan, and occasionally people like rhodey, steve, ned, MJ, etc! just depending on their schedules and stufftony probably has a big movie theatre room in his house somewhere. like that rich kid in your class always had. u know the kid. tony is that kid. they all eat dinner together beforehand too, and then they make popcorn and stuff— even though they’re all complaining they ate too much at dinnerthere’s gonna be a bunch of arguing about what to watch
tony: I say we watch mad max—
pepper: I love you, but that is the single dumbest thing you’ve ever suggested. do you rlly think morgan is old enough for that
tony: I mean. hm. fair point
morgan: I wanna watch Coco!
may: I like Coco, too, what about that?
tony: we watched Coco last week!
pepper: well what about a different Disney/Pixar movie?
well legally peter won’t be able to watch it because of that whole dispute with Disney
everyone: *starts arguing*
peter, quietly: I wanna watch the LEGO movie…….when steve is there, it gets like 10x worse
tony, opening their huge cabinet of dvds: tada!
pepper: so what kinds of movies do you like, steve?
steve: I watched the wizard of oz one time
tony, sweating and shutting the cabinet: alright, uh, let’s start smallerthey watched a sad movie exactly one (1) time, but then they all cried and tony effectively banned themthey have a list of rules on the door to the theatre, each one in a new handwriting from when someone got annoyed with something and stomped outside to add a new ruleno sad movies no calling Moana dumb!! :(no texting memes to the family groupchat during the movie no, it doesn’t matter how relatable it isno spoilersno saying “me” or “relatable” or “bitch me too” every time someone dies on camerapeter, no more whispering “Illuminati confirmed” instead, you’re not quiet and we can hear youno pausing the movie to theorize every two minutes(the Moana one is from morgan, the sad movie one is tony, and the rest are from may and pepper in various stages of annoyance and grief) the last is because tony and peter frequently pause to go back and forth with their conspiracies
peter, grabbing the remote to pause: ok but what if the villain is actually a symbol for sexism
tony: oh shit good point what if that’s why he always tells the protagonist she’s being too emotional
peter: he is definitely just the patriarchy— that’s why he seemed like a decent dude at first! because we trust society and then we figure out it’s racist, homophobic, transphobic, and sexist and then we realize it was hurting us all along!
tony: oH SHIT WHAT IF—
pepper: fOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST HIT PLAYpeter predicts the endings of movies all the time. everyone else thinks he’s seen the movies before, but nope, he’s just super observant and smartthey fight over blankets and pillows and they throw popcorn at anyone who breaks the rules. They also fight about what to put on the popcorn. It’s a lot of fighting, but overall it’s a lot of funthey do more than watch movies!! they’ll play mariokart sometimes and watch vines (when ned and MJ are there), too!!everyone quickly becomes internet fluentthey have a bunch of inside jokes based off of vines and funny lines said on movie night
avengers: *are having a meeting*
tony: as for attacking from the east, I’ll do that—
peter: *vine voice* ahaha I do that
tony, wheezing from laughter: pETER, FOCUS
everyone else: ??????ok I think that’s all I got rn but I feel like I’m missing something aaaa
Ahh, this bleeding heart. That’s in my hands, I fell apart.
She deserved better. ✏🌹
An old sketch from when there were like, zero reference pics of the Rescue Armor.
pepper: you have to face your fears
pepper: tony, listen. you have to face your fear of being part of a family again.
tony: …no now it’s snakeclowns because you put that idea into my head.
tony: TIME FOR PUSHUPS
Pepper: Here are two photos. One is your room, the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?
Y/N: *pointing* That one’s the dump?
Pepper: They’re both your room!
Y/N: Ah, I should’ve guessed that!
Based on Reality
Pepper: You lied?
Peter: We may have.
Tony: You may have or you did?
Y/N: We may have did.
A reminder that pepper and tony were supposed to kiss in im1 but this is the only evidence we have of that.