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armoricaroyalty · 3 months

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Film Grammar for Simmers

What is film grammar?

"Film grammar" refers the unstated "rules" of editing used in movies and TV. Different types of shots have different associations and are used by editors to convey different types of information to the audience. Many of these principles were first described in the early 20th century by Soviet directors, but they're used consistently across genre, medium, and even language: Bollywood musicals, English period dramas, Korean horror movies, and American action blockbusters all use many of the same techniques.

Because these rules are so universal, virtually everyone has some internalized understanding of them. Even if they can’t name the different types of shots or explain how editors use images to construct meaning, the average person can tell when the “rules” are being broken. If you’ve ever thought a movie or episode of TV was confusing without being able to say why, there’s a good chance that there was something off with the editing.

Learning and applying the basics of film grammar can give your story a slicker and more-polished feel, without having to download shaders or spend hours in photoshop. It also has the bonus of enhancing readability by allowing your audience to use their knowledge of film and TV to understand what's happening in your story. You can use it to call attention to significant plot details and avoid introducing confusion through unclear visual language.

Best of all, it doesn't cost a dime.

The basics: types of shots

Shots are the basic building block of film. In Sims storytelling, a single shot is analogous to a single screenshot. In film, different types of shots are distinguished by the position of the camera relative to the subject. There are three big categories of shots, with some variation: long shots (LS), medium shots (MS), and close-ups (CU). This diagram, created by Daniel Chandler and hosted on visual-memory.co.uk illustrates the difference:

Source: The 'Grammar' of Television and Film, Daniel Chandler, visual-memory.co.uk. Link.

In film, scenes typically progress through the different types of shots in sequence: long shot, medium shot, close-up. When a new scene begins and the characters arrive in a new location, we typically begin with a wide establishing shot of the building’s exterior to show the audience where the scene will be taking place. Next comes a long shot of an interior space, which tells the where the characters are positioned relative to one another. The next shot is a medium shot of the characters conversing, and then finally, a close-up as the conversation reaches its emotional or informational climax. Insert shots are used judiciously throughout to establish themes or offer visual exposition.

Here's another visual guide to the different types of shots, illustrated with stills from Disney animated films.

This guide is almost 2,000 words long! To save your dash, I've put the meat of it under the cut.

Long shot and extreme long shots

A long shot (sometimes also called a wide shot) is one where the entire subject (usually a building, person, or group of people) is visible within the frame. The camera is positioned far away from the subject, prioritizing the details of the background over the details of the subject.

One of the most common uses of long shots and extreme long shots are establishing shots. An establishing shot is the first shot in a scene, and it sets the tone for the scene and is intended to give the viewer the information they’ll need to follow the scene: where a scene is taking place, who is in the scene, and where they are positioned in relation to one another. Without an establishing shot, a scene can feel ungrounded or “floaty.” Readers will have a harder time understanding what’s happening in the scene because on some level, they’ll be trying to puzzle out the answers to the who and where questions, distracting them from the most important questions: what is happening and why?

(I actually like to start my scenes with two establishing shots: an environmental shot focusing on the scenery, and then a second shot that establishes the characters and their position within the space.)

Long shots and extreme long shots have other uses, as well. Because the subject is small relative to their surroundings, they have an impersonal effect which can be used for comedy or tragedy.

In Fargo (1996) uses an extreme long shot to visually illustrate the main character’s sense of defeat after failing to secure funding for a business deal.The shot begins with a car in an empty parking lot, and then we see the protagonist make his way up from the bottom of the frame. He is alone in the shot, he is small, and the camera is positioned above him, looking down from a god-like perspective. All of these factors work together to convey his emotional state: he’s small, he’s alone, and in this moment, we are literally looking down on him. This shot effectively conveys how powerless he feels without any dialogue or even showing his face.

The same impersonal effect can also be used for comic purposes. If a character says something stupid or fails to impress other characters, cutting directly from a close-up to a long shot has a visual effect akin to chirping crickets. In this instance, a long shot serves as a visual “wait, what?” and invites the audience to laugh at the character rather than with them.

Medium Shots

Medium shots are “neutral” in filmmaking. Long shots and close-ups convey special meaning in their choice to focus on either the subject or the background, but a medium shot is balanced, giving equal focus to the character and their surroundings. In a medium shot, the character takes up 50% of the frame. They’re typically depicted from the waist-up and the audience can see both their face and hands, allowing the audience to see the character's facial expression and read their body-language, both important for interpreting meaning.

In most movies and TV shows, medium shots are the bread and butter of dialogue-heavy scenes, with close-ups, long shots, and inserts used for punctuation and emphasis. If you’re closely following the conventions of filmmaking, most of your dialogue scenes will be medium shots following the convention of shot-reverse shot:

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To keep long conversations from feeling too visually monotonous, consider staging the scene as a walk-and-talk. Having two characters move through a space can add a lot of dynamism and visual interest to a scene that might otherwise feel boring or stiff.

Close Ups

Close-ups are close shots of a character’s face. The camera is positioned relatively near to the subject, showing just their head and shoulders. In a close-up, we don’t see any details of the background or the expressions of other characters.

In film, close-ups are used for emphasis. If a character is experiencing a strong emotion or delivering an important line of dialogue, a close-up underscores the importance of the moment by inviting the audience to focus only on the character and their emotion.

Close-ups don’t necessarily need to focus on the speaker. If the important thing about a line of dialogue is another character’s reaction to it, a close-up of the reaction is more effective than a close-up of the delivery.

One of the most iconic shots in Parasite (2019) is of the protagonist driving his employer around while she sits in the backseat, speaking on the phone. Even though she’s the one speaking, the details of her conversation matter less than the protagonist’s reaction to it. While she chatters obliviously in the background, we focus on the protagonist’s disgruntled, resentful response to her thoughtless words and behavior.

In my opinion, Simblr really overuses close-ups in dialogue. A lot of conversation scenes are framed entirely in close-ups, which has the same effect of highlighting an entire page in a textbook. The reader can’t actually tell what information is important, because the visuals are screaming that everything is important. Overusing close-ups also cuts the viewer off from the character’s body language and prevents them from learning anything about the character via their surroundings.

For example, a scene set in someone’s bedroom is a great opportunity for some subtle characterization—is it tidy or messy? what kind of decor have they chosen? do they have a gaming computer, a guitar, an overflowing bookshelf?—but if the author chooses to use only close-ups, we lose out on a chance to get to know the character via indirect means.

Inserts

An insert shot is when a shot of something other than a character’s face is inserted into a scene. Often, inserts are close-ups of a character’s hands or an object in the background. Insert shots can also be used to show us what a character is looking at or focusing on.

In rom-com The Prince & Me (2004) (see? I don’t just watch crime dramas…) the male lead is in an important meeting. We see him pick up a pen, look down at the papers in front of him, and apparently begin taking notes, but then we cut to an insert shot of his information packet. He’s doodling pictures of sports cars and is entirely disengaged from the conversation. Every other shot in the scene is an establishing shot or a medium shot or a close-up of someone speaking, but this insert gives us insight into the lead’s state of mind: he doesn’t want to be there and he isn’t paying attention.

Insert shots are, in my opinion, also used ineffectively on Simblr. A good insert gives us extra insight into what a character is thinking or focusing on, but a poorly-used insert feels…unfocused. A good insert might focus on pill bottles on a character’s desk to suggest a chemical dependency, on a family picture to suggest duty and loyalty, on a clock to suggest a time constraint, on a pile of dirty laundry or unanswered letters to suggest a character is struggling to keep up with their responsibilities. An ineffective insert shot might focus on the flowers in the background because they’re pretty, on a character’s hands because it seems artsy, on the place settings on a dining table because you spent forever placing each one individually and you’ll be damned if they don’t make it into the scene. These things might be lovely and they might break up a monotonous conversation and they might represent a lot of time and effort, but if they don’t contribute any meaning to a scene, consider cutting or repurposing them.

I want to emphasize: insert shots aren’t bad, but they should be carefully chosen to ensure they’re enhancing the meaning of the scene. Haphazard insert shots are distracting and can interfere with your reader’s ability to understand what is happening and why.

Putting it all together

One of the most basic principles of film theory is the Kuleshov effect, the idea that meaning in film comes from the interaction of two shots in sequence, and not from any single shot by itself. In the prototypical example, cutting from a close-up of a person’s neutral expression to a bowl of soup, children playing, or soldiers in a field suggests hunger, worry, or fear, respectively.

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The Kuleshov effect is the essence of visual storytelling in a medium like Simblr. You can elevate your storytelling by thinking not only about each individual shot, but about the way they’ll interact and flow into one another.

Mastering the basics of film grammar is a great (free!) way to take your storytelling to the next level. To learn more, you can find tons of guides and explainers about film grammar for free online, and your local library doubtless has books that explain the same principles and offers additional analysis.

Happy simming!

#armorica tips #armorica ooc #i finally got off my ass to finish this guide which i started back in August right before I got extremely sick and ended up in the hospital #anyway....hope you enjoyed this post which was a veiled excuse for me to complain about how people overuse close-ups and inserts #and i can't tell what's happening in their stories ;fdsklsjadf;laksdf #Youtube

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astermath · 8 months

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the premiere.

pairing: actor!steve harrington x actress!reader

summary: you're a recent addition to hollywood's up and coming promising actors. you'd recently scored the lead role in an emotional period drama, and you're more than surprised to see that top shelf douchebag and america's starboy, steve harrington, has shown up to your premiere. you’re soon confronted with his flirtatious attitude, and you feel the incessant need to put him in his place. it’s a first for both of you.

♡ landing page. ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: some cursing, mentions of sex, steve is a cocky asshole and will continue to be one, regular font below!

notes: man I do love me some actor!steve because let's be honest, joe keery easily transfers his star power over to all his characters. it's not exactly hard to believe that steve would be a respected actor. let me know what you think and / or if you’d like to be added to the tag list! ♡

They always say life moves fast in Hollywood. Back in your audition days, you wouldn’t believe it. You could practically feel the hours eating away at you as you waited for calls to be returned and scripts to be sent.

Even when you started filming your first big movie, working with such a well respected director and incredible cast, you felt like you were dragging along most of the time. Sure, it was an amazing experience, but the set hours are long, and the time spent overthinking is even longer.

Thinking about if this would be it, if this is what would put you on the map as a talented actress.

You only realised how fast time really moves in Hollywood when you’re discussing the premiere with your manager. Your first big reveal. You’re in the spotlight, everyone will be there to see you. And not just reviewers and fellow cast members, no, people you’ve looked up to before, people you’ve only ever seen on the big screen.

“Are you listening?” Your manager’s voice pulls you right out of your hazy cloud of thoughts. She’s sat across from you, glasses pushed down onto the bridge of her nose, cappuccino in one hand, the other on her laptop.

“Yeah, I’m— I’m here. I’m, uh…” You lean back, clasping your hands together. “You’ve got my attention, sorry Miranda.”

She sighs, readjusting her glasses and bringing her attention back to her screen.

Miranda has been your saviour since day one. She’s got plenty of experience, once having been an actress herself, and now works on managing mostly young women like yourself. She’s a bit tough, stern, but she’s amazing at what she does. Besides, she usually knows what’s best for you before you even know it. She’s got that motherly intuition about her, despite being unmarried without kids.

Your eyes drift over the interior of her apartment. It’s modern, sleek, like her. There’s not much personality shining through it, unless you look hard enough. Then you’d notice she likes orchids, since she has multiple of them potted and well taken care of. Or the numerous photos of the same town in Italy.

She keeps herself busy with scrolling through the list of attendees to the premiere. A bunch of yes’es, a few maybe’s, and the occasional “sorry, however, congratulations on the movie”.

She stills her movements when she gets to the bottom of the list, scrolling up again to see if she’s looking at the right column and then scrolling back down to see if she saw the name right.

“Hm,” she purses her lips, “that’s… Peculiar.”

“What is?” you perk up. Peculiar. That could mean a lot of things. Peculiar as in “your movie is scrapped, actually” or peculiar as in “you’re already nominated for an Oscar”?

“This name. I’ve never seen it on the attendee list before. At least not for my clients.”

“Miranda, you’re killing me with this suspense, please.” You lean forward, your elbows resting onto your knees.

"Steve Harrington." She pauses, and you don't know if she's doing it to be dramatic, or because she's waiting for some kind of elaborate gasp or shocked response.

Instead, you raise an eyebrow, head quirking slightly to the side. "Who?"

You can tell in your manager's eyes that she didn't expect that. Not in her facial expression, of course, she doesn't want wrinkles.

"Christ, sweetie, you're kidding right?" She lets out a dry chuckle, setting down her now empty coffee cup on the end table next to her. sofa. "We've really got to touch up on your media knowledge if you don't know who that is."

"No clue, sorry. What, is he some big deal or something?" You snatch a cookie off the coffee table and start nibbling on it mindlessly.

"Only one of the most popular up and coming actors in the industry." She starts click clacking away on her laptop, pulling up a picture of him and turning the screen around so you can see.

You raise your eyebrows. Damn, not bad. He looks to be around your age, a little older, and you can tell from just that one picture that he knows he's all that. The confidence is practically oozing out of that million dollar smile of his, expensive sunglasses tucked away in his somehow perfectly styled hair.

"So what, he's going to be there. Not like there aren't any other big celebs showing up, I'm sure I can handle myself."

"It's not that I don't think you can behave, starlight, although we'll have to go over some of the red carpet etiquette again later." She takes off her glasses and runs a hand through her short but chic hair.

"Then what is it?"

"He doesn't really... Show up to premieres, usually. Well, none that aren't for his own movies, at least."

Oh, so he is that kind of guy.

You wrap up with Miranda not long after, heading to one last fitting of your premiere gown before returning to your apartment. That's when you start to do your own research on this Harrington fella.

You sit onto your bed, leaned back against a few pillows propped up against your headboard. You open Google and start by what seems the simplest; typing in Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington age?

Steve Harrington height?

Steve Harrington movies?

The third one seems obvious, but you click it anyways. He doesn’t have a bad track record. A few nominations, one Golden Globe, he’s not slacking for sure.

Most of his stuff paints him as the type of guy you’d expect; undercover agent, the bad boy, the mob boss’ son… Makes you wonder even more why he’s showing up to the premiere of your movie. It has virtually nothing to do with the types of movies he stars in. You’re wondering why he even got an invitation to begin with, Miranda doesn’t seem like the type of woman to be sending those out to every C lister in America.

You type in his name again, curious to know more about his reputation.

Steve Harrington parents?

Steve Harrington dating history?

Though it is cliché, it does intrigue you. You’re not exactly surprised when a handful of names pop up, even one you recognise. Nancy Wheeler. You know that girl, she used to do interviews when you were still starting out. Apparently she went more into the crime journalist route, wrote a book… Pretty interesting stuff.

Almost as interesting as the breakup you’re reading so much about.

“Harrington broken in half? Did Nancy Wheeler finally have enough of his ego, or was she just looking for the next thing to report?”

“Geez, talk about a harsh headline…” You mutter to yourself. Besides her, there’s no mentions of other women he’s been confirmed to date. There’s been pictures, rumours, but you’re guessing he… Gets around.

Steve Harrington controversies?

You feel bad for clicking on it, but then again, you’re already in too deep now.

Something about nepotism, but that’s soon debunked when you realise his parents don’t do anything in the movie industry. Then there’s the Nancy thing, and something about him being difficult to work with. You could have guessed as much just by looking at the guy. You just know he flashes that smile like it’s a method of payment, and he probably gets away with it too.

You reach out and shut your laptop before you go too far down this rabbit hole. Your schedule is packed, and the premiere is only three days away. You've got better things to do than go all Sherlock on this random actor that's showing up.

Though it is unusual.

And he is handsome.

Yeah. It is true. Life does move fast in Hollywood.

Now you know for sure. Because not long ago, you were looking up Steve Harrington's name, like some deprived fangirl, and now you're on your way to the event he's supposed to be at.

The car seems packed, almost claustrophobically so. Miranda sits right of you, on the phone with someone who you can only assume to be too important to interrupt. On the left is your makeup artist, giving you some final touchups before your big entrance.

You don't know if this is the best or worst part about your rising fame. On one hand, it's all you've ever dreamed of. Of being recognised, making a name for yourself, getting to show the world what you can do. You're appreciated, celebrated, but on the other hand, you feel a bit like a product. The way you're sitting in this car, getting all dolled up, rehearsing what you'll say in the interviews... Miranda tells you you'll get used to it, but you're honestly not too sure.

Soon enough, you’re ushered out of the car by your manager. The same way you’ll never get used to the feeling of fame, is the same way you’ll never get used to having your name called out as you’re bombarded with camera flashes. This is only the entrance to the premiere, and you’re already overwhelmed. But you know that this is the worst part, so instead, you put on a smile and greet everyone.

Although you're having a little trouble walking in your gown, and not to mention those godforsaken heels, you soon make it to the actual red carpet for some photos. Your attention is called by several photographers, some asking who you're wearing, some just wanting you to look into the camera.

You look beautiful.

Your dress is a powdery blue, a close match to the dress you wear for most of the movie. It flows beautifully with your body, the silk catching the light in all the right ways. Your accessories and hair are adorned by white gold and pearls, classy, chic, but not boring. You feel like you're dressing up. Not a "let's go out somewhere fancy" dressing up, more like a "putting on your mom's heels" dressing up.

Part of all of this feels like you're playing pretend. Like you're not really supposed to be there. Like everyone's doing you a favour by being here, celebrating you and your movie. Though nothing could be further from the truth, the impostor syndrome somehow still gets to you, every time. You try not to let it show on your face, striking a casual pose, and smiling softly.

You look beautiful.

Steve thinks so too.

Only now he's reminded of why he came to this event. It's made the extra hoops he had to jump through all worth it. The extra questions by his management, the raised eyebrows when he arrived, the interviewers he, for once, has been trying to dodge.

He thought you looked pretty on the big screen, but no camera does you justice as much as the naked eye does.

He recognises something in you. Something nervous. Not necessarily innocent, just... New. It excites him a little, his mind already wandering to you allowing him to show you all the corners of the showbiz. Because he's a seasoned professional, of course. At least he likes to think so. He might only have a few years up on you, but he knows he's made for this. To act, to be famous. He knows you'd look amazing doing it next to him too.

"Mr Harrington!"

Some photographer calling his name catches him off guard, and so he brings his attention to the lens, flashing a cocky smile.

It catches your attention, too. The name more than the callout. You knew he'd be there, but for some reason you figured you'd have a bit more... Mental preparation. But what do you care, right? He probably wants you to gawk at him, be the little innocent newbie, borderline groupie, who can't believe it's really him.

You know better than to feed into his ego.

Which is why you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes when he smiles at you instead. You know he won't come up to you, he knows better than to embarrass you in front of all these people. You just don't know if he can resist himself later.

Then again, maybe you've got it all wrong. Maybe he just happens to really like 18th century period pieces about a girl finding a connection with her long lost mother. But somehow you'd find that hard to believe.

You go inside the theatre, and you finally get to enjoy the best part. This is when you try to disconnect from your job for a second, from the image you've built for yourself. When you're in front of the big screen, seated with all these people, you're 12 years old again.

You go watch a movie with your mom, it's your favourite time of the month. You share a large popcorn, and you can barely contain your excitement when the lights dim. Somehow, every emotion feels bigger like this. You've watched countless women pour their hearts out in movies, give their everything for their art, their passion. You've always been determined to be like them. To make other people resonate with a character so much it brings them to tears.

When you watch your own movies, you're not watching yourself. You're a little girl again, admiring the performance like you always used to. It makes this career more worth it than anything else, than all the glamour and money anyone could offer.

You bite your lip in anticipation when the theatre goes dark, toying with the bracelet on your wrist. You've seen it before, but not like this. Not like how it's meant to be watched.

Everything fits right. The music immerses you perfectly, the environments are meticulously chosen and everyone plays their part like they were born to do so.

And you're starstruck. By yourself, no less. You've always stayed humble, that's something you'd never give up. But you're also proud. So proud. This is something you've worked so hard for, everyone on the crew has, so you feel no remorse when you admit it's perfect.

The movie is emotional, and nearing the end, the melancholy of it all reaches its climax. Your character runs through a field of poppies, all blooming as she passes each one, chasing what she thinks is a vision of her mother when she was younger. The girl being chased giggles, as the main character keeps calling out her mother's name in tears. She's brought to her knees at the end of the field, the edge of a cliff, reaching desperately to hold onto the memory of her long lost mother.

You let out a tear. Hell, most people do, even Miranda can't hold it. It's one hell of a scene, the orchestral soundtrack alone could make someone cry. It makes your heart swell.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can tell someone else is really letting the waterworks go.

Wait-- That's not just someone.

That's Steve Harrington. Crying. Because of your acting.

You can tell he's trying to hide it a little, hiding his lower face behind a clenched wrist, the tears leaving little stripes of wetness on his skin. Running past his stubbly jaw, dropping onto the fabric of his tuxedo.

You can't imagine this is normal for him. Apparently it was already a rare apparition to see him at your premiere, and now he's publicly crying too. Well, you don't know if anyone else is observing it, but you know what you're seeing. That's pure, raw emotion right there.

You bring your attention back to the screen, hoping he hasn't noticed your staring.

The movie comes to a close, and the audience arises in a standing ovation. You get up, giggling a little coyly at all this sudden attention. The director comes up to you, taking your hand and bringing you along with the rest of the crew to the front so you can take a bow. Your face beams with happiness, and it's contagious.

It makes Steve return the smile, even though it's not even necessarily directed at him. You're just so pretty, all excitement and modesty, so untouched by fame's worst sides. It pulls him straight to you in a way he hasn't experienced before, there's just something so... Sincere about you. Something so gorgeous.

He makes eye contact with you as you come back up from your bow. The smile he gives you is nearly a copy and paste from the ones you saw online, where you can tell exactly what he's trying to say just from his expression. It's like his face just reads "atta girl".

It's really hot. And you hate how it makes you feel.

You exit faster than you probably should. You mutter to Miranda that you just need some fresh air, but really, you need to get away from this Harrington man before you fall head over heels for his stupid tactics. He hasn't said a word to you yet, and you already feel yourself slipping into the enthralling arms of his charm.

You change your mind, earlier was not the worst part. This is. Because now you have to pretend like you're not mentally having a crisis while still answering questions and mingling.

You deal well with most of the compliments and praise. You get a bit of butterflies every time a household name or someone you look up to acknowledges you, and you practically feel like ascending when they say they like your work.

You're in the middle of speaking to one of your co-actors and your manager, when she's suddenly giving you the eyes. With Miranda, this can mean two things;

There is a fire happening, or--

There is someone important behind you.

She's done this before when Robert De Niro was getting interviewed just a meter away from you. But you have a feeling you know who it is this time. Though you're not sure how excited you are by it.

You look over your shoulder, and surely, there he is.

All suave and charm, smooth tuxedo, freckled tan skin and perfect hair. He encapsulates the entirety of Hollywood so well, and you're not quite sure how to respond.

"I'm a little starstruck, I gotta say." he says, and you're not sure why you're even surprised that his voice is that nice.

"Really?" You give Miranda your "help me" eyes for a moment, but she's already off to get more champagne. With no lifeline to hang onto, you figure you might as well entertain him for a moment. "Guess I could say the same about you."

"Hey, I'm not the reason we're all here, am I?" He chuckles, and you're unsure if it's a rhetorical question or not. From what you can tell, maybe he does think everyone's here for him. You try your hardest to fend off those preconceptions of him, but although you are new to all of this, you’re not stupid. You know how men can be once they start getting attention.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on the movie.” He says, voice dripping with honey, placing his large warm hand over your arm. It would surprise you, if it didn’t feel so nice. “Truly a great performance, and I mean that. I’m not even usually one for period pieces.”

He doesn’t realise that makes him look even more suspicious for showing up here at all. Why would you go to a premiere for a movie of a genre you don’t like?

“Thank you, I appreciate that, Mr…” You pretend not to know his name, for multiple reasons. To make yourself seem a little more nonchalant, or maybe you just want to give his ego that little chop it so obviously needs.

“Harrington. Though I assumed you knew, my bad.”

You refrain from rolling your eyes. Of course he would.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” You implore, and Steve’s eyebrows raise a little. He was hoping you wouldn’t ask that, but he supposes it was bound to happen eventually.

“Ah, well, the director is a friend of mine. I figured I’d show up for support, you know, keep the connection up.” He’s lying through his teeth, and you both know it. But part of Hollywood is pretending like you’re all not just lying to each other the whole time. You’ve gotten more used to it over time.

Neither of you mention what you saw inside. Partly because you’re unsure if you were imagining it, and partly because you wouldn’t even know where to insert it. Yet the sight of him getting emotional lingers in the back of your head.

“I thought you uh, didn’t know who I was?” Steve remarks, and you catch your own slip up now too. Why would you care if he showed up, if you didn’t even know his name?

“Oh, I do, your uh… Your name just slipped my mind.” Your nonchalant façade starts to falter, and you’re hoping it doesn’t make you look as much of a fool as you think you do.

Instead of pressing on, he chuckles. It’s a warm chuckle, low, smooth, it sends a shiver down your spine. He seems amused by you, for a reason you can’t quite make out.

He presses a hand to the small of your back, leaning in closely to your ear, and you think you might start seeing stars. He smells so incredibly good, you nearly melt into his touch, whether you mean to or not.

“Well, make sure to make it stick this time, hm, honey?”

You’re pretty sure your entire body has heated up just from hearing that. You hate how well his charm works on you, that silky voice and smug demeanour.

He pulls back, and just as you expected, he’s smiling like the cat that got the cream. “See you around, princess. Enjoy your premiere.”

You’ve had a lot of mind blowing shit happen to you already. The fact that you’re standing at your own movie premiere, surrounded by people you admire is insane to you on its own.

Now you’re getting flirted with by one of Hollywood’s golden boys, and you just have to play it cool. Pretend that you don’t feel like giggling like a teenage girl and getting all flustered. It makes you sick to your stomach. It makes you mad. That he can walk off, just like that, all cocky and confident. You don't want him to think of you like the innocent debutante that he can just play around with for a bit, before he moves on to the next young thing. You've seen that movie before.

Before you have a chance to let it get to your head, one of your costars, the younger girl that plays your little sister, comes up to you. "Geez, you okay? You look a little... Pressed."

"'M fine. Just-- a little frustrated. Sorry I haven't said hi yet, this is all... A lot, you know?"

"You'll get used to it." She sips her glass of champagne, and you want to say something about it, before you remember she's only two years younger than you. She's been an actress since she was 6 years old, she knows the industry so much better than you, and yet you feel protective over her.

"I don't think I ever will, to be honest. God, my shoes are killing me." You groan, hoping no one's close enough to hear you complain. The last thing you want is to come across as ungrateful for all this.

"Have some more champagne, that usually does the trick." She looks off to the side for a moment, and you can tell she's a little tense too. "Me and the rest of the girls on crew are going to get drinks and food later, wanna join?"

Her invitation brings a smile to your face. Though you're constantly surrounded by people, Hollywood brings a profound sense of loneliness into your life. You have trouble fitting in, connecting. Everyone is all smiles and compliments, yet no one talks, no one calls. Anything is rarely personal. And making friends is hell.

"I'd love to, seriously. Tell you what, it's my treat. To celebrate our premiere, hm?"

She smiles back, leaving her empty glass on the tray of a passing waiter. "Cool. I'm off to the bathroom, cab's gonna be out front around 8."

She leaves you shortly after, and suddenly it's there again. That profound sense of loneliness. It's got you left thinking about what Steve said to you. How he talked to you. That tone.

It makes you feel small. Yet you hold on to every word.

How infuriating.

The rest of the premiere is a dazed flurry of conversations and pictures taken in your memory. You've got too much on your mind now to enjoy most of it, and you damn that smug asshole for being the reason for that.

You walk outside, the sky being a lot darker than you expected. You sigh, the air you breathe out coming out in little clouds. April shouldn't be this cold, not in California, at least.

You look around, no cab to be seen yet. Your eyes catch sight of a familiar man smoking. He flicks open an expensive lighter, his hands shielding the flame from the wind.

The fire frames his face in a special kind of light. It shows both the pretty freckles scattered on his skin, and the bags present under his eyes. The strange dichotomy of his personality, represented so simply on his face.

It just pisses you off even more how handsome he is.

Before you realise it, your legs are taking you closer to him, heels clicking onto the pavement as you strut over. He only seems to notice your presence when your shadow casts over him, taking away the yellowish glow of the streetlight.

"Missed me already?" He smiles, lips still wrapped around the cigarette before he takes it between his fingers.

"You can't talk to someone like that. At least not to me." You don't know where this sudden surge of confidence sprouted from, your words even surprising yourself.

"I'm sorry?" He stands up straighter, and though his stature is definitely taller than yours, you try not to let it phase you.

"I know what you're trying to do. I'm not dumb. Maybe you think I am, but I'm not." You cross your arms, partly to shield yourself from the cold, partly to feign courage.

"And what do you think I'm doing then, hm?" The smile on his face makes you want to desperately smack it right off. He really is exactly like people say.

"Don't act stupid with me. You think you've got me all figured out, huh? You randomly show up to my premiere, and the first time we talk, you try to butter me up. Did you expect me to drop to my knees for you or something? Thank you for gracing me with your almighty presence, which for the record, I did not ask for?"

He's speechless for a second. This is a first. Usually, when a woman is cussing him out, it's after they've dated, not before.

He chuckles, dropping his half smoked cigarette onto the ground and stamping it out with his shoe.

"Sounds like you think you've got me all figured out, doll."

"Don't call me that."

"It's not a bad thing."

"I decide that. Not you."

He sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning his head back for a moment. "Geez... So much for first impressions huh?"

"I'm not the one trying to get into the other's pants now, am I?"

"Coulda fooled me."

"God, you're fucking insufferable." You laugh dryly, rolling your eyes. "You think I'm some stupid showbiz newbie, that I'm supposed to be grateful you're even talking to me. Maybe have sex with you and see what opportunities I get out of it."

He just looks at you now. You don't know if that's better than a response, because he's neither confirming nor denying it. Or maybe he realises nothing he says will save him in this. He'd be right about that.

"Do me a favour, if you’re just going to treat me like a ditz, don’t talk to me again. I’m already forced to deal with enough guys like you on the daily, so go bother someone else.”

As if called by some higher being, the cab, along with the girls you were supposed to meet, arrive outside. You gave Steve no time to respond, instead offering him a cold shoulder and some time to let all of that sink in. Though you doubt your words are going to make him change that attitude any time soon.

He leans against the wall outside, watching the dark car you got in drive by and away into the nightly city. He’s not sure what to do with what’s just been given to him.

No woman has ever figured him out this early on. Or maybe they have, and they just never told him this outright. It’s not like he tries to hide the type of person that he is, it’s just that it usually never blows up in his face this much. You’ve taken his flirting, turned it around and served it right back at him to make him think it all over. You‘ve practically rendered him speechless, and it’s only your first time meeting.

It’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚tag list

@inkluvs @palmtreesx3

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toxicanonymity · 7 months

Text

Brothel - Lincoln watch party

brothel master list

The brothel, aka real housecreeps, is a meta reality show about the Joels and other blorbos who live on the Toxic Compound. Normally everything is smooth sailing, but we mostly air the drama.

Slumber party edit by @iamasaddie 🥹. Next 2 my primitive edits. Guest appearances from Joels by @chloeangelic (father Joel) @gracieispunk (maintenance man) and @dark-scape (gladiator)

Saturday 9/16 - Jojo doesn't even live at the brothel but he picked me up on his motorcycle and took me to Starbucks, determined to help me finish Lincoln so he can move in. He keeps making comments about Lincoln like, "he's so careful." I nod and he adds, "chicks just wanna get dicked down, man." I look at him and he whispers, "sorry." But a minute later he's back at it. "when's the last time she had a nice, hard cock?" When I say, "Never," he asks, "NEVER?"

Friday 9/22 - Stepdad and Vampire stop by the writing room, which is a wreck, to ask if Lincoln is really doing this because if so, they're going to Costco to get stuff for their watch party. Cut to the interior of an SUV, Stepdad is driving and Vampire is in the passenger seat hanging onto the ceiling handle.

Vampire says, "Peaches is on her period, ya know."

Stepdad, "No shit. Why do you know that, man?"

Vampire gets self conscious, "It was in the last fic."

"You always read his fics?"

"Well, I read the warnings, then. . . Hey, what's on our shopping list?"

Stepdad takes a sharp turn and the camera angle goes crazy as a crew member slams into the back window. Stepdad asks the crew, "what kinda hijinks y'all think are goin' down in Costco, anyway?"

Stepdad and vampire realize they don't have a shopping list, so they call the Joel mansion. Thighs puts them on speaker. Slasher wants budweiser. Night Walks yells "TAKIS" in the background. Jojo wants cherry coke. Raider wants bison burgers and Trouble volunteers to grill. Stepdad asks if the "other guys" are coming back so they know how much to get.

Flashback to Stepdad's party in August

The doorbell rings and Night Walks answers it. It's a priest. Night Walks stares at him and says, "we're good, man" and closes the door. The doorbell rings again and Trouble answers it. It's a Joel in a toolbelt, talking to the priest.

Night Walks texts me to ask who are these guys? I say this is a big thing, all the Joels on tumblr are invited, plus all the blorbos on the Toxic Compound. It's @chloeangelic's Father Joel and @gracieispunk's Maintenance Man!Joel. Night Walks asks, "he's not, like, a prude priest is he?" And I respond LOL. Lincoln does a double take when he sees who walked in, and he gives them a what's up nod. I yell from off screen, "MY OFFICE IS BROKEN." Maintenance man sighs and adjusts his toolbelt. Raider tells him I'm joking and points to a chair for Maintenance Man to sit down. Someone else is at the door. It's a practically naked but battle-ready Joel. It's @dark-scape's Gladiator Joel, and he roars at the top of his lungs, "PARTY'S HERE."

The phone rings. It's a menacing, digitized voice. "room for a few more?" The line goes dead and seconds later, the door opens. It's Ghostface and behind him, a popcorn cart is being wheeled in. Production bumbles around trying to find the right place for the cart. The door is still open. Michael Myers walks in with Corey Cunningham. Slasher pops up out of his seat and Michael turns to walk the other direction. Instead, Slasher introduces himself to Corey who also wears a mechanic suit.

Everyone has a great time and cheers when Stepdad gets it in. They all slap him on the back and carry him around the room.

Back at Costco

On the phone, Trouble says no, just brothel Joels for Lincoln's party. The fic is too long, he's too unsettling, and we don't want to scare all of Tumblr away.

Stepdad is determined to make the Costco trip as boring as possible so production doesn't send a crew with them next time. They go around the store and Stepdad has an exaggeratedly straight face. Every time vampire gets excited about something, like the $1.50 hotdogs, Stepdad nudges him to remind him it's boring. Vampire straightens his face and nods.

—--

Watch Party

Later that night, the guys are huddled around watching. Vampire is on the edge of his seat, and even gets down on the floor to be closer. Then he sits back and tries to hide how aroused he is. Some of them cheer upon penetration but not as enthusiastically as with Stepdad. At the end, most of the guys give Lincoln a high five or fist bump, but a few of them clearly don't have their heart in it. Slasher is on Lincoln's side, "Hey what's wrong with you guys? been on his case for months and he finally did it"

"Just be straight with her, man," Raider says.

"I didn't lie to her," Lincoln claims.

Raider squints at him "Whatever, man. Glad your shit's over soon."

Vampire thinks it was the best episode all season. "Link, that was amazing," he tells him in all honesty. "Did ya get to keep the dress?"

"Yeah," Lincoln nods.

"And that was only day 2 or 3, right?"

Lincoln looks at Vamp blankly and asks, "day 3?"

Stepdad tries to come to vamp's rescue by saying "Day 3 of… this party," but Vamp doesn't catch on.

"No, I mean you've prob'ly got a couple more days," he gestures around his lower abdomen. Lincoln's nostrils flare and Vampire meekly adds, "if you're into it."

Lincoln asks, "are you tracking Peaches?"

Vampire looks at Stepdad, realizing his mistake. Everyone gets quiet. Lincoln repeats, "Are you tracking her period?"

The guys look at each other and shake their heads no, like Lincoln is out of line for the accusation. "No one's tracking your reader's period, Lincoln," Trouble scoffs.

They act like Lincoln is crazy for even thinking it.

------

Thank you for reading!

#joelkémon brothel #meta #joelkémon sitcom ☠️#metafic #toxicanonymity ☠️

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the-conversation-pod · 3 months

Text

Swoon: The I Feel You Linger in the Air Episode

And we're back!

NiNi and Ben bring Ginny back to the recording booth to discuss Tee Bundit's final offering of the year. We discuss our differing responses to historical romance, the difficulties with articulating big emotions from shows, and the balancing of political messaging with romance.

Come and join us for probably the most distant NiNi and Ben have found themselves as we discuss I Feel You Linger in the Air.

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Introduction 00:01:20 - I Feel You Linger in the Air: Big Damn Romance 00:21:35 - Depictions of Intimacy 00:30:21 - Head vs. Heart 00:37:37 - Beyond the Romance and Story Integration 00:49:15 - Anticipating the Special (Or Not) 00:54:08 - Final Thoughts

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

00:00:00 - Introduction

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation About BL, aka The Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

And there it is. I’m Ben.

NiNi

I’m NiNi.

Ben

And we’re you’re drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie here sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs.

NiNi

Four times a year we pop in to talk about what’s going on in the BL world.

Ben

We shoot the shit about stories and all the drama going into them. I review from a queer media lens.

NiNi

And I review from a romance and drama lens.

Ben

So if you like cracked-out takes and really intense emotional analysis…

NiNi

If you like talking about artistry, industry, and the discourse…

Ben

And if you generally just love simping…

NiNi

There is a lot of simping on this podcast…

Ben

We are the show for you!

00:01:20 I Feel You Linger in the Air: Big Damn Romance

NiNi

We are back. Welcome to our Swoon episode of the podcast, and on Swoon we are going to be talking about a big damn romance which is not something that we get to talk about a lot in BL. To help us do that, Ben and I have a special guest and our special guest is, duh-duh-duh-duh, Ginny! Say “hi,” Ginny.

Ginny

Hello!

NiNi

Ginny is here with us because Ginny is also into the big damn romance. So, we’re here to talk I Feel You Linger in the Air.

Ben, break it down for us. What is I Feel You Linger in the Air about?

Ben

I Feel You Linger in the Air is a historical romance set in 1928 Chiang Mai, where a young man from our timeframe ends up in the past, and ends up working for a very rich family that seems to have some sort of lordship over the region at the time. Our protagonist’s name is Jom. He is an interior designer who's been living in Chiang Mai waiting for his boyfriend to come back from England for a couple of years, and then his boyfriend comes back with some girl and its like, “Yeah, she's pregnant. We're over. Sorry, bro.” Jom has a no good, very bad day and then goes off a bridge into the river. And then a hot guy with a bunch of tattoos kisses him, and then he somehow wakes up in the past? Uh, didn't really wake up and past, he exits a river in the past, and then drama ensues.

He ends up stuck, makes a couple of friends, catches the eye of the young son of the lord of this area, and ends up becoming close to him, and finds something very meaningful in this time period, which is also strange for him because of reincarnation. Lots of people that are important to him are in this time period, but as very different people who do not know him. This ends up being used for a lot of social and political commentary, some of it very subtle, some of it not so subtle, and I guess that's mostly the show.

NiNi

So, Ginny, how’d you feel about this show?

Ginny

I had a great time with this show. It was so beautiful from beginning to end. The settings were gorgeous, the music was gorgeous. Even when it was from The Nutcracker—

[NiNi laughs]

—it was one of the most—[Ginny laughs]—sorry. It was one of the most lush feeling dramas we've gotten in BL. The whole historical setting just felt very rich and detailed. Really felt like you were soaking in it. It's kind of a slow pace, but I didn't mind that and I felt like it worked with the setting and with the big romance historical story that they were trying to tell.

In the first five or so episodes, I did feel like the romance was the weakest part, but as soon as those boys got together and we were in more of an established relationship situation, it was gorgeous. The intimacy was incredible. They got to me deep in the heart parts; really enjoyed it.

NiNi

I had a great time with it. I love a big damn romance. I've been reading big damn historical romance basically my whole life, and this captured the feeling that you get reading a big damn historical romance. There was a hint of the epic to it in certain parts. There were quiet moments in there that were really, in some ways, very romantically profound that kind of got me, like Ginny said, deep in the heart parts. I had a fabulous time.

Ben, how about you?

Ben

So, I don't like historical romance in general. I do not romanticize the past, particularly the not-so-distant past, and it makes it often very hard for me to enjoy historical romance. I'm Black, and I'm from the US, and I grew up in the South. And so it is really difficult for me to really enjoy historical romance because these large gaps in power, often, between the characters, do not work for me. It often makes me extremely uncomfortable. I understand that the context of this caste system in Thailand are different than what Black Americans experienced in my home country, but Jom's arc to me can be blandly described as him landing in the past and being upgraded to preferred house slave, and that is something I struggle with even as there's a lot of stuff in the show that I really like. The undercurrent of that really bothers me.

I also end up struggling with the end of this show when I reflect on Jom's journey because it's a very tragic story for me in a way that isn't cathartic. Like, I am still left with an intense melancholy coming out of this show that I have not been able to shake. And the parts of it that were really beautiful and enjoyable I don't think have unstuck me from how kind of sad for Jom and Yai I feel.

NiNi

It's interesting that the feeling that you're left with is sort of a melancholy, sort of a sadness, because that's not where I landed on it at all. Why the feeling of melancholy in particular?

Ben

Jom is yanked into the situation for reasons we don't understand, and then he is yanked out of this situation for reasons we don't understand. And so Yai has the unfortunate queer experience of deeply loving someone and having them ripped away from him. And he never really gets over that? Judging by his own letter to Jom that has passed down. And then for Jom, he's 25, he blew two years waiting on an ain’t shit motherfucker in Ohm, crashes his car, ends up in the past, has a very bad time, and then has a less bad time because of Yai. And then Yai is taken from him. And at least in the show, Jom gets back to our time frame.

The show remembers that Ueangphueng was his sister. He gets to eat some crepes, he gets to tell Ohm, “I don't care anymore. I just spent eight months as a slave. Whatever. You can go marry that girl.” Then he gets yanked even further back to the past?

I don't need the show to tell me why things should happen, per se…but this is a very familiar experience, having grown up in queer cinema, where a bunch of sad shit happens, and then the fucking thing is over and you're like, “Oh. Well, that was something.”

Ginny

So I did go into the show wary because I knew it was a time travel romance and the trailers looked real melancholy. They had this ode to eternal parting about them. It definitely tells you what it's gonna do from the beginning. I do feel you, especially with Yai. I'm not entirely satisfied with where they leave that Yai in the past.

I feel like Jom has a whole journey ahead of him, and he did get some healing from his own trauma, but I didn't love that they left us with this heavy sadness and pining. It didn't have to be a romantic happy ending. They did give some pointers towards maybe what he did politically that also pointed to some real Thai figures that apparently were historically influential. But I would have liked to see a little more hope and uplift in Yai’s side after Jom leaves him, because we're meant to believe that Jom changed everybody's life. He inspired Yai to sit up and take notice of the world, to pay attention to some of the injustices around him. And I would have liked to see at least more of the positive side of that from where we leave him in the past. I didn't expect that they were going to get to live their lives out forever; that was kind of never in the cards. But they did leave Yai, in particular, in a pretty melancholy place, and I'm not sure how intentional that was, that that was the full impression we were left with.

NiNi

Given that it's Tee, I'm feeling like that was pretty intentional. Tee…the ending’s always bittersweet. It's never 100% one thing or another when it comes to Tee. He's always going to leave you somewhere that's just kind of like, “Yeah, there's good here, but also life is what it is.” I feel like I just generally probably have more tolerance for that when it comes to these kinds of stories.

Like Ginny said, you know from the beginning that they're not gonna live out their whole lives together in 1928. The way the story is set up, it's just not possible that that's a thing that's gonna happen. So for me, thinking about the life that Yai lives after Jom leaves, it's not necessarily melancholy for me? He was definitely lonely and I wonder what that must have been like for him. It's more of a curiosity for me than a melancholy.

I am a person who is very into loneliness and stories about loneliness. And so, leaving 1928 Yai alone in 1928, and having him have to deal with his loneliness for the rest of his life, that actually does not bother me. It doesn't make me feel sad necessarily, because I don't necessarily see loneliness as an inherently sad thing. I think loneliness is loneliness, and it can be sad, and it can be other things.

The idea of Yai having had this great love and deciding that he doesn't want another one, basically because he's chosen at that point, “I don't want to do this again,” and devoting his life to other things from what we understand from what we get at the end of this story. Him having basically his memories of Jom for the rest of his life, but no other great love. This is something that my mind actually enjoys conceiving of and considering, but then I have some very different feelings about loneliness as somebody who spent a lot of time alone in romantic and non-romantic situations.

Ben

I would be probably less bothered about it if it was more like Brokeback Mountain. If the tragedy that separated them was mundane and contemporary, I would probably be less annoyed than this supernatural phenomenon, that we still have no real handle on, being the reason that they come together and are torn apart. That component of it is bothersome for me because I don't know why these things have to happen to Jom.

It's fine to choose not to be bothered about it or not care about it, but I really hate speculative fiction stories where the supernatural component only matters in so much as it generates drama to get big moments, and doesn't feel like it's as much of a player in the story as the people there. I'm very frustrated with I Feel You Linger in the Air, because I don't know why Jom has to suffer like this. I can enjoy Jom and Yai's romance, but I don't know why this story wants Jom to suffer this way, and for the people Jom loves to suffer.

NiNi

Ginny, do you have a conception or a narrative in your head about the why, or does a conception of the why matter to you in the story? For Ben, it's incredibly important, and him not having a conception of the why is sort of a barrier between him and the story.

Ben

If you're gonna send my Black ass to the past to become a slave, there better be a goddamn fucking reason for it.

NiNi

[laughs] I hear you, I hear you.

Ginny

As far as the mechanic, I don't need that, and I don't want that, because the story was set up with this very kind of spooky vibe, which immediately put me in a place of like, bigger than human stuff happens in this story, and we're not gonna make that make sense. That's not the kind of story we're in. But the narrative that I do see is the reincarnations and the fact that this is a love happening over three versions of Yai that have loved Jom, and the Yai that we experience for almost all of this story is the second of those, so he has already some immediate instinctive connection to this strange man who's shown up, and he kind of just goes, “Oh, this person is important to me. I've already had dreams about him. I'm gonna see what this is about.”

Why does he have to suffer like this? Because that's the story. I get what you're saying, but this is very baked into the genre and it's baked into the fundamental setup that this is gonna be a story about separation and about yearning across centuries. Those are the emotions that the story wants to deal with.

NiNi

It's fascinating for me because, as somebody who's been very steeped, as I said, in historical romance in the way that I've been steeped in historical romance and the type of historical romance that I've read across my life, you're right. It didn't even occur to me to question the why. This is the ticket for the ride. This is the price of admission. You just accept that this is the premise and you go from there. So, the idea of there being a conception of the why, it didn't even really come to my thinking on this show until Ben pointed it out.

In a story like this, the mechanics of the time travel are by nature a McGuffin, because they're not actually important to the thematic underpinnings of the story. The thematic underpinnings of the story in this case come from the characters and who they are, and Jom being from the future is part of that. Jom being this person who has lived this life in this particular time and being thrown into another time. That's where the thematic underpinning comes from. Not because of the “Why is this happening to him?” and all that kind of stuff. Even though maybe some of that stuff may come out if they get to continue the story—maybe, maybe not—because I don't see that as being something that Tee would be particularly interested in. I don't necessarily see it as something that's, for me, critical to the telling of the story.

Ben

It's because they sent him to the future. I don't think I would have cared about it if Jom had just vanished, and then he had just woken up even further in the past, and been like, “Oh, fuck,” looks at the camera, and then they end. I would have been okay then. I would have been like, “Well, we still don't understand why Jom is hopping. Perhaps the reset in another time frame will help us see that.”

By sending him back to the future, letting him eat crepes and hang out with Jeed, who was Ueangphueng in the past, it made me think, “Well, what the fuck was the point of all that?” You sent him to the past, he made some friends, they got the gang together and unmasked the villain, they had some great sex, they had some sad sex, and now he's back in the future. And Not!Yai walks in, confusing the absolute fuck out of us, and then they roll credits. And then they throw on a tag, because they might get a second season.

A huge knock for the show for me was being fully-reliant on novel spoilers, which were posted by the distributor of the novel, as well as given by the cast to audiences. That's not great! A good ending makes me go back to the beginning and then I want to reflect on the whole journey. I got stuck in the ending of all of this going, “Well, what the fuck was the point of everything I just watched? Why did any of this have to happen?” I don't like getting stuck at the end. I don't know what they want to say about everything that's going on. The whole for me is not greater than the sum of its parts, and it has some really good parts.

I think Nonkul and Bright do a great job playing the romance between Jom and Yai. I thought it was interesting to see a male gay couple and a female gay couple next to each other, and how that presents in this particular time frame. I really liked Ming and the other servants because most of them are honestly not that homophobic, which reflects a lot of historical context. Poor people did not care about what other poor people were doing. I liked the whole notion of a bunch of homos and their friends get together and they can take on fucking anybody!

I think episode 11, where Jom realizes he's disappearing and tells Yai, and there's this somberness that grips the show as they have to grapple with Jom's functionally-terminal illness, and they go through the process of saying goodbye to the people who mattered to them reflects an AIDS experience that I am unfortunately familiar with. That was really well done.

There's all of this great stuff all over this show that I don't feel like really spins together into something transcendent. I just have a show with a lot of pieces that I think are really spectacular. But I don't think the show itself is.

00:21:35 Depictions of Intimacy

NiNi

Let's talk about some of those pieces. Ginny, let's talk about the intimacy—let's start there. Let's talk about the intimacy through the story, the intimacy within the relationships, and then the particular scenes that you and I have been trying to sink our teeth into.

Ginny

I think I said already that initially the romance between Jom and I did not grab me. I didn't feel like their courtship had a lot of juice to it, but once they reached that point of really being in each other's orbit and being close to each other, every scene was just giving so much intensity. Mutual desire, mutual interest. So much tenderness. The way that they look at each other and touch each other is beautiful—some of the best chemistry and intimacy we've seen in a long time, I think.

Ben

The oil scene in, what, episode 6?

Ginny

They've definitely not had sex yet, but the attraction is clear and understood on both sides. There's this scene where Yai is rubbing himself with oil as just, like, skin care, and Jom starts helping him. And then you cut, and you see Jom in his room looking so worked up, and then he starts to rub the oil on himself, and you see that what's happened is Jom and Yai had this moment where he's doing this massage and it was interrupted because Yai was like, “This is too much.”

And so Jom is processing this, and very clearly implied is jerking off to this experience. And the music is so intense, and the framing is so intense, and you're intercutting between the scene with the two of them and the massage and Jom by himself. It's one of the most intensely sensual scenes that we've gotten ever, and it's done so artistically. They thought about “How are we going to frame this?” and “How do we want to tell the story of what just happened between these two men and how they both feel about it?” It's so creatively gorgeous and intense in a way that I don't see applied to intimacy scenes, and I just wanted to smooch everybody involved in it, because it was beautiful and wonderful, and I want to see more like that always.

NiNi

The way that this show filmed sex and intimacy. Ben always talks about being tasteful, but also being explicit enough for there to be an understanding that what is happening here is sex between men, and it is different from other kinds of sex. I was just kind of blown away by the creativity of it: the way that it was shot, the way that it was scored, the way that it is choreographed, the way that the emotion is built between the actors.

Ginny’s right, I haven't seen anything like this.

Ben

The only other creator who consistently gets here when it comes to sex…probably MAME? Maybe? Like, it's kind of goofy when she does it.

Ginny

MAME is different, and I am a bit of a MAME apologist, and I love her intimacy scenes, but there's something about the creative layers that are put on top of this that really speak to me. This show did so much without being very visually explicit; being so deeply sensual, without showing you very much at all. You're seeing skin and you're seeing touching, but that's not what's driving the emotion. It's the music and it's the filming choices that are making this experience so sensual, rather than just the sight of bodies and the way they're touching each other. And it was really striking.

Ben

The intimate moments themselves are not here for pure titillation. There is a strong dramatic component to each scene, which is helping the characters and the audience cope with the current struggle happening between the boys. The first scene with the oil, that was the first time that Yai was close to honest about his physical desire for Jom.

Ginny

They definitely both know at that point. I don't remember what specifically has been said, but it's been made clear between them that Yai is interested in Jom, because Jom goes into that scene kind of expecting, “Oh, is this going to lead to sex?” He thinks that's what's gonna happen, and maybe Yai did, too, but kind of got overwhelmed, or we're not sure exactly what happened that he stopped it.

Ben

I'm sure! Don't worry!

Ginny

[Ginny laughs]

Ben’s sure. What happened, Ben?

Ben

I'm just gonna get edited. [NiNi laughs] I'm glad you're here. That boy made a mess of his damn pants because he busted unexpectedly—[Ginny laughs]—and got embarrassed, and didn't know what to do, because he definitely spent too much time thinking about it because all he does is read trashy romance novels.

[Ginny laughs]

NiNi

I've forgotten about the romance novel that he made Jom read to him.

Ben

Which Jom hated!

[everyone laughs]

NiNi

But you know what it is with the intimacy scenes? They somehow managed to be incredibly sensual, but not earthy?

Ben

They got sensual without being as erotic as maybe they felt. I like when the actors get to give the audience what they want and need without you basically making the actors shoot porn. Bright and Nonkul are extremely professional. We don't always get too deep into the behind the scenes stuff, but we can see in the BTS we got that these two guys understood what they needed to accomplish in their scenes, which are very well choreographed ahead of time. And that's, I think, what really goes here is they're not just relying on actors being willing to just do shit. There's a specific intent that they're going for. So we get all of the effect we need, and it doesn't feel clumsy.

NiNi

Another thing I really loved about the intimacy in the show is how it builds from scene to scene. The other thing I like watching when I'm talking about sex in stories is tracking the emotional journey through the sexual journey. This show, I think, was really good at that, because every time we got an intimate scene between Jom and Yai, it was at a different stage of the relationship. The intimacy wanted to show us something different. It reveals something different about where the characters are, where their relationship is. When the dam finally breaks and Jom and Yai just start making out in the rain.

I talk about the show being a big damn romance. That moment is probably the most big damn romance moment in the entire show. It is epic. There's no other word to describe this moment. How it happens, how it’s shot, everything about it makes it even feel epic. There's this sense of inevitability. There's a sense of desperation. And then that carries through into the sex scene.

You come out to that scene and you're going into other scenes where things are quieter once they become more established, you can chart the emotions that you're supposed to be feeling about both the characters and the relationship through these scenes. And there aren't that many of them. They do a great job of building the intimacy and you understanding that they have this incredibly intense physical relationship without spending a lot of time on intimate scenes. As much as I enjoy seeing those scenes and parsing those scenes through the lens of the story, the fact that they don't have that many of them to me is also an accomplishment because they're able to tell that story without necessarily making their actors take their clothes off and make out all the time.

00:30:21 Head v. Heart

NiNi

The way that I feel about this show is so visceral. Ben talks a lot about rarely having heart shows, about being very analytical about the things that he watches. For me, this show…I'm not as deep into the analyzing of it as maybe Ben is. And Ginny, I don't know which side of that line that you land on.

Ginny

I'm probably somewhere in the middle. I try to sit wherever a show is gonna give me its best, so I'll love to analyze the show if it seems to really be inviting that. But this one, like you said, it's a big damn romance, and so much of what it's doing is just creating those moments. So I was enjoying sitting in those.

That kissing in the rain scene that you talked about, that was incredible. What happens immediately before that is the dance that Yai has to do with this very eligible girl, and the fantasy dance that Yai and Jom have—which is just a gutting scene. I think I did cry. Everybody is surrounding them and admiring the way that they are doing in real life for Yai and this girl, and it's the agony of what they should be able to have and can't.

This is a show that wants to dig into those pain points and I can see where for some of us who have lived that pain, it's not something that you want to sign on to. For others of us, it's like, “Yes, make me feel this thing. Take me through this in this fictional space.” We get that excruciating contrast of the publicly-affirmed love that Jom and Yai aren't allowed to have, and then we go from that right to this private, powerfully intimate moment between them.

NiNi

We talk a lot on this show about lenses and reads; who you are and where you sit being an integral part of how you look at the shows, how you take them in, what you get from them, and what you put back out. I think this is a show that for each of us, because we're coming at it from a different lens and with a different read, we had three kind of distinct almost experiences of it.

I don't have a head response to this show, so Ben talking about the why of the time travel—I just wasn't thinking about it like that. My head wasn't in it to that extent in terms of analyzing. This was strictly my feels, and I had a lot of feels from the minute that Jom sat down behind the market and stress-ate that sausage. I had a lot of feels! [laughs]

Ben

This is always going to be the struggle I have. I don't swoon. So while I do appreciate how good Bright and Nonkul are, particularly Nonkul—I had very positive responses to what he was doing. I don't ever get heart shows where I just sigh at them and like, that's it.

The first 43 minutes of this final episode are fine. I think they accomplished that part really well. I don't have a lot of complaints about that chunk of the finale. If we end there, and then go straight to the tag, I'm probably fine with this show and having a different conversation. But Jom ending up back in the water, getting snatched by a scuba diver, and I'm like, “How the fuck did he get out there so fast?” If we're jumping right back to that moment, it's the middle of the fucking night.

[NiNi laughs]

I didn't have to care this much about the specifics until suddenly I was thrown off, and now I'm having to ask fucking questions. So Jom gets rescued and then we have all this shit in the present. And we don't spend a great deal of time there with Jom grappling with what the fuck happened to him. It's just: jumps back. “Oh, right! Jeed was Ueangphueng! We haven't talked about that in 11 episodes!” Okay, sure. Ohm is here? Why? Okay, right, right. In the actual world they're from, Ohm showed up, broke up with Jom, and within six hours he drove into the fucking river. I get it. Okay, right. That's what happened. Sure. Let's deal with that. Yeah, okay. I don't care. Go home. All right. Goodbye, Ohm. BYE!

Jom is sad because he misses Yai—valid—and then he finds the box. We have a really cool moment around the box. I really love the letter, but then there's Future!Yai and I'm like, “What the fuck is he?” [Ben sighs] I hate all of this shit at the end. It feels distracting. Why does he have to go back to the future to tie up shit from his present, to then suddenly be thrown back to the fucking past?

NiNi

If I am putting my head bits on, which I am very reluctant to do with this show to be quite honest with you, because I enjoyed it so much… The only thing that maybe doesn't entirely fit is the third version of Yai at the end. ‘Cause I can see why they bring Jom back to the future. There's all this stuff that happens there that for me emotionally resonates, both the stuff with Ohm and then him opening the chest and finding the letter, and getting to see his despair and his loneliness without Yai. And then a version of Yai turning up without explanation? Okay. Yeah. Okay, fine, doesn't bother me, but I was literally deep in my feelings at that point.

I can understand also why at that moment happens and why it's not explained. Who wants to end their story on an exposition dump? Nobody.

Ben

You got the catharsis you needed at the 43 minute mark and you were able to just walk away with that. When they kept talking after that for another 45 minutes, it caused problems for me. When we talked about other shows we've had on this podcast, we can talk about how, like, there's a lot of good shit but for you, it didn’t hit you in the chest?

This is where I sit with this show. It's good. I don't feel it.

NiNi

I got you.

00:37:37 Beyond the Romance and Story Integration

Ben

All right, now that we have covered the main stuff, and all of the oil scenes, and the sad sex, let's talk about the rest of the cast. According to book readers, much of the cast of characters around them was greatly expanded for this production. Since Tee and them clearly cared a lot about them, let's talk about them.

Let's start with Ohm/Khamsaen, Fongkaew and…Preggers… [laughs] I don't remember what her name is. She got on my damn nerves.

[Ginny laughs]

NiNi

Did we ever get her name?

Ben

According to MDL, it's Khaimuk, but I don't remember it being said.

Ginny

Yeah, I'm not sure they ever said it, which says somethin’.

NiNi

Ginny said, “Whoop there it is.”

[NiNi and Ginny laugh]

Ben

I will say that I liked the bits with Khamsaen in the past where he doesn't actually know who Jom is. He's just pissed at Jom for having no sense of class solidarity at all, and gets in his face about this. He's like, “You're fuckin’ up my bag, bro.” And Jom, who is going through his shit, beats the fuck out of this man. But then they, like, reconcile later? I actually kind of liked this.

Ginny

Yeah, I mean, I was with Jom and so in favor of him beating up that man, even though that man did not know what he had done, really, to deserve this. I was just still so mad at present-day Ohm so I was very ready to have Jom take it out on the past version of him, who had done nothing basically except be a little whiny about a girl.

Ben

I like Khamsaen’s perspective because you've got the rich people and all their bullshit-ass games, and I like how Khamsaen is just kind of a pampered mama's boy who's losing his shit because something horrible happened to the girl he cared about, and now she's in this really shitty situation, and he's just floundering and feeling super powerless because he doesn't feel like there's much he can do about that at this point.

Ginny

What they set up with Robert and the way that he wields power over his whole household and his two wives and everybody who gives a shit about them really leaves everybody feeling powerless and just kind of scrabbling around the edges for what they can get. Those early episodes really set up how under the thumb of this powerful rich man most of the people in their orbit are. That's just a giant boulder in the stream that they all have to flow around and figure out how to live their lives around.

Ben

The way that eventually unravels was kind of interesting for me, because there's this little mystery in this show about, how does Robert even get involved with this family in the first place? Why are they so intent on Robert? ‘Cause he kind of sucks and he seems like he's also bad at his job, which is to manage the forestry shit. He would much rather spend his time whipping Ming's ass, and Mings mom’s ass, or abusing his wives, than doing his fucking job. There's this whole bit with Fongkaew where we learn that while they were trying to cover up other awful things, they brutally murder Fongkaew’s father and injured her mom permanently? And that's how Fongkaew ended up in this household in the first place.

Ginny

Yeah, and it seems like she kind of knows that, and just has to live with it and live with being at this man's side who did that to her family, until she teams up with the other wife for the grand comeuppance.

Ben

We eventually learned that Ueangphueng and Mei conspired to bring Fongkaew into the house in the hopes that she would distract Robert. And they own that that was really fucked up, and they apologized for it.

Ginny

The way that his power makes everybody underneath him turn on each other and use each other as shields, and recognizing that that's not okay to do, but also you understand why they did that in that position.

Ben

You get the sense because all these characters had to be built out for the show. They were concerned about how these characters were interrelated to each other. I like the Robert character even though I despise him because I feel like they considered his role really well in the 1920s part.

NiNi

One of the things that came up to me while the show was airing was how it's kind of important, given Thailand's position in this era, that Robert is French and James is English, Thailand is never colonized, but the French were to the east in Vietnam and the English to the West. It's pincered between colonial powers, but it was never colonized itself. It was kind of like a buffer zone. Some of that feeling does come through in the way that the era is portrayed. There's clearly a lot of influence that they're getting from these colonial powers without actually being colonized themselves, and that comes through particularly in the character of the dad.

He feels like somebody who is important, not in the sense of “I am important because these powers say I am important, but I have a sense of importance in myself.” I don't know how to explain it to people who are not from places that were colonized, but it gave it verisimilitude for me anyway.

Ginny

Clearly, so much of what he wanted to do with this project was bring in some of those historical perspectives and the sociological and political stuff. And I thought he did a really good job overall of putting that in the story in a way that felt natural and felt like it fit.

NiNi

There is a fair amount of political inside the story, which is very Tee. I also feel like, in a way, he almost didn't go far enough in terms of the way he normally likes to operate, because Tee, when it comes to this stuff, he's very in your face, and it felt oddly restrained.

Ben

One of the things that I remember seeing from Tee while we were watching this was that when they were trying to do research about this period, they did not have a lot of great primary sources of what life was like for not-the-ruling class at the time and so they were building out the world kind of based upon anthropological presumptions about the era. The one bit of this ‘happened during the era’ stuff we get is the piece of news delivered at the breakfast table about two women who were living together. It ends completely in tragedy. One of them is killed and the other maybe doesn't survive the grief. I don't remember exactly what happened to the other one, and it feels significant for me that Tee wanted to make sure he put living lesbians in this world, too, by building out this relationship between Ueangphueng and Mei, and then giving them the opportunity to leave and go do their own thing.

NiNi

That brings me to an interesting question. Tee was trying to accomplish a number of different things, I think, with this story. How do you feel the romance fit inside of the wider story that Tee was trying to tell?

Ben

Honestly, poorly.

Ginny

They did not feel super well integrated. The grace that it got for me was a lot due to how well the side characters that ended up involved in a, more political stories—Robert’s whole household. All those side characters were so nicely developed early in the series and I was so invested in them that I gave the story a lot of space to develop its different themes alongside each other, rather than having a ton of overlap. But from a story crafting perspective, they were not super well integrated. I would agree with that.

Ben

The big problem was their choice to make Jom so passive for most of the show. Part of why the episode 10 stuff doesn't exactly land for me is it didn't feel like Jom was as… active of a character I would have expected, given his obeisance to this system had felt like something he was affecting for survival, and not just something he just sort of slid into because he had been hurt, and then assaulted, and then hurt again right before all of this. I feel like him teaming up with James and everybody else would have landed because it would have felt like he was a mover in that world, and that his modern perspective would have mattered more.

NiNi

I feel like this is a consistent critique of Tee. This is something we talked about when we talked about Step by Step as well. The things that he actually cares about versus the vehicle that he's using to tell his story. There is always a tension there. I feel when it comes to Tee, you kind of have to choose your adventure. You have to choose which side of the story, I guess, you're gonna pay attention to. And because I always gravitate towards the romance, I think I have a different-slash-better time with a lot of Tee’s stories than others might.

Ben

I don't like that he does that, sincerely. I don't like when BL feels like three pitches fighting for relevance because somebody with money who liked all the pitches wanted to see them play out together. I really don't like the side quest feeling of this constant theme in Tee's work. I don't like the things being loosely connected via setting or… underlying theme he thinks he's building towards? It consistently irritates me in his work.

NiNi

I feel like, Ginny, you and I are more closely aligned sometimes when it comes to some of this stuff that Tee is coming out of, partly because we get the swoonies and Ben does not.

Ben

Y'all give me shit about New Siwaj. Y’all gonna eat this shit over Tee Bundit.

NiNi

[laughs] Ginny, how do you feel about that? Do you feel that underlying tension in Tee’s work, and how do you reconcile it?

Ginny

As much as I love the romance and the swoonies, I would love someone to give Tee a bucket of money to make the sociopolitical drama that it feels like he desperately wants to make. What it feels to me like is he has to put things through this BL lens because there is money there as a creator and there's an audience there. There could have been a stronger, more cohesive drama, but I liked both halves of what we got and I didn't feel like they were actively in conflict, and I'm easily pleased. So I was okay with it.

Ben

I think he gets away with it here, but I don't think it's good, not as a unified piece.

00:49:15 Anticipating the Special (Or Not)

NiNi

So, there's gonna be a special! The special is not part of the timeline of the show, it's a non-canon kind of AU, not quite AU thing. Are you guys going to be watching this special?

Ginny

Probably. Yeah.

NiNi

Ginny's like, who am I kidding? Yes, I'm watching it. [laughs]

Ginny

Yeah.

NiNi

Ben?

Ben

I am genuinely uncertain.

NiNi

I think I’m not going to watch it. I'm so emotionally immersed in this story? I don't think I'm interested in a time-out-of-time, non-canon AU.

Ginny

Well, I'll tell you both how it is.

NiNi

Please do.

Ben

[laughs] I just don't know that I care! I like Nonkul and Bright well enough, so I'm not opposed to seeing them bro it out, I guess.

NiNi

To me, the story between these two got so emotionally deep, I don't want to watch them have hijinks.

[Ginny laughs]

Ben

It feels unearned. The story’s not complete. I would be okay with a “present Yai and Jom get to go to the fair and have a good time,” if this was coming after the second section with the Commander.

Ginny

I do kind of agree with that. I will still watch it.

[Ben and NiNi laugh]

Ben

Even though I did not like this show as much as NiNi, I am not saying that this show is bad and people shouldn't watch it or enjoy it. But… I don't really want to return to this show. That's the real thing here. We got the tag about the Commander and I was like, “ehhh… do I want them to get a second season?” I kind of don't. I don't know that I want to go back to this. I don't think I care enough.

NiNi

I am curious about two things. One, this is a period of Thai history that we haven't seen in BL. We're now getting into Thai history and BL, period, and as a person who is kind of a history junkie, I want to see what that looks like. Then the other part of it is, they can't go back to the same dynamic, right? So it's not gonna be a retread of the 1928 story. This has to be a different story because… Mustache Yai is a different character from 1928 Yai. And Jom, having been through the experience of meeting and falling in love with Yai and being separated from Yai, is also going to be a bit of a different character going into this?

So this is not the exact two same people having the exact same story, if they do this. This is two different people figuring out a different dynamic, a different story. And I am actually interested to see that, because I am impressed with the acting. And because I have been impressed with the writing. So for me, that's where I'm landing. I want the second season because I want to see that.

Ben

Well, I hope the Quantum Leap BL does a better job closing itself out next time.

NiNi

[laughs] So mad at you for calling it Quantum Leap. What about you, Ginny, you gonna watch season 2? If there is a season 2?

Ginny

Oh, definitely. I don't think the story is complete as it is. I think they tied it up enough, and that's where—I needed us to see modern Yai, because that tells us if we never get a season 2, there is a Yai and a Jom that can live out their life in the same timeline, and I need that for my peace of mind. There's a happy ending out there sometime—and hopefully we'll get to see the story take them there. But I did want to at least know that it's there for them.

But I don't think it's complete as it stands. So for that reason alone, I want the second season. I don't… know that I have a lot of faith in how good it will be? So I'm also nervous? But I'm also not afraid of bad television, so I do want there to be a second season, and I will watch it.

00:54:08 Final Thoughts

NiNi

Ginny, what did you score I Feel you Linger in the Air, and why?

Ginny

Why did I give it a 9? I agree with Ben that the whole is not greater than the sum of its parts. That's a really fair and accurate way to sum it up. The ending, I think, failed in execution? I don't disagree with any of the choices that it made about what happened, but I think it could have done better with the timing. I think a little bit more explanation would have been good.

So there were some misses. But I liked so many of the parts so much, so I gave it a 9.

NiNi

And what about you? Where do you sit?

Ben

I gave this show a 9. My ranking system is almost always about whether or not a show can be recommended to viewers, and so it becomes a 9 because it's the kind of show that BL viewers can have a very good time with, and it's the kind of show that recent converts might have a good time with? But the failures in execution from episode 10 and 12 hamper this show getting a higher score from me. It's a 9 because the parts of the show that are good are some of the best we've seen this year, but the parts that are not are frustrating in ways that also feel fair, and I kind of hate that, too.

They hedged on the finale because they hadn't gotten really greenlit for a second season. Okay, I understand the awkward place you were in. But modern Yai is probably the biggest mistake I think they made. I think they were afraid the audience would be like me and would be really put off by how unhappy that finale is, and so they threw modern Yai at us to make people feel better—but I didn't like it.

But I think the show is really, really watchable. I think it's really beautiful. I think it's a great example of what Thai production teams are capable of. I think it's also a really good showcase of what Thai talent is capable of. I think across the board the entire cast is really solid, even with my issues with the lack of conviction at the end of this series, I think this was an excellent show.

NiNi

I gave this show a 9.5. This show is incredibly expansive. There's so much that's happening in this story that I really found resonant. I feel like I felt all of the emotions that the show wanted me to feel. I followed that emotional throughline and it was an incredibly easy emotional throughline for me to follow. I didn't feel like I had to qualify my emotions when I was watching the show. If something on the screen was meant to be making me happy, it was making me happy. If something on the screen was meant to be making me feel sad it made me feel sad. There wasn't a tension between what I was feeling and what I felt like the show wanted me to feel. As a person who is very much into the fields and the vibes, it was a 9.75.

I feel like in terms of shows that we scored really highly and say that we actively like this is probably the most critical we've been of something that we have scored highly?

Ben

There are times when a show is genuinely good but doesn't hit every note that well, and you're going to hear it and you're going to go, “Oof. We definitely downloaded this from Limewire.” And—

NiNi

[laughs] Benjamin!

Ben

And—Look, I can never hear a very specific song from Third Eye Blind correctly because the track I had was a fucked up clip [laughs] from Limewire for years that had two different skips in it.

NiNi

Oh my God. You can’t say Limewire! The children don't know what that is.

Ben

I do not care about these fucking kids. [laughs] And so…

NiNi

[laughs] Ginny, Ben said “Fuck them kids.”

Ben

So, the thing can be good and still be criticized. Criticism is not inherently negative. This show took multiple huge swings and missed some of them, and I think it's totally fine to acknowledge that the show did not hit every swing it took, even if we can applaud the swings that it went for. I think it's still good to take big swings even if you don't hit them.

Ginny

Yeah, I would rather watch a dozen shows that swing big and don't hit the mark than a dozen shows that are kind of boring and self-contained, and do fine at executing an easy thing.

NiNi

Okay, so the average of 9, 9, and 9.75 is some kind of messy number between 9 and 9.75 closer to the 9 side of things, because that's how maths works. I'm not going to try to actually calculate that number. It can get a 9 from The Conversation.

Ben

It's 9.25.

NiNi

9.2—look at, look at Ben!

Ginny

Ben's like, “The math is simple actually, Madam.”

NiNi

So I Feel You Linger in the Air gets a 9.25 from The Conversation, and hopefully a commitment from Ginny that if they do come up with the second season, you're gonna be right back here on the pod talking with us about it.

Ginny

Absolutely.

NiNi

There we go. That's gonna wrap us up on our Swoon episode, our I Feel You Linger in the Air episode. We out. Say “bye,” Ginny.

Ginny

Bye!

NiNi

Say “bye” to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace.

#podcast #lgbtq #i feel you linger in the air #thai bl #bl series #winter series #season 5 #ben and nini's conversations #the conversation

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denimbex1986 · 3 months

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'Since its debut screening at Telluride, All Of US Strangers has been greeted with critical raves, multiple awards nominations and filmgoers moved to tears by its quietly devastating story. Set in modern London, though featuring periodic detours to one of its southern suburban towns, it tells of a screenwriter, Adam (Andrew Scott), who tentatively begins a relationship with a charismatic neighbour, Harry (Paul Mescal).

As the romance develops and deepens, Adam is drawn back to the place where he grew up and the suburban childhood home he left when he was 11 after his parents died in a car crash. There, both his mum (Claire Foy) and dad (Jamie Bell) appear to still be alive, just as he remembers them from decades earlier.

Writer/director Andrew Haigh (Weekend, 45 Years) used the home he himself was raised in as the location for the scenes featuring Adam and his parents. It lends a deeply personal resonance to a film that received seven prizes at December’s British Independent Film Awards and is now in contention for six Baftas, including for outstanding British film.

Screen International spoke to the director about four key scenes from the film - spoilers follow.

Adam and Harry meet for the first time

The scene: When a fire alarm drives him from his tower block apartment, Adam sees Harry looking down from a window. Soon after, a drunken Harry turns up at Adam’s door. The pair have a flirtatious conversation, but Adam turns Harry away.

Andrew Haigh: “We found it complicated to find a building to double for Adam’s tower block, because they are usually owned by multinationals who don’t want you to film in them. But we found a building in Stratford, on the edge of London, which suited a person like Adam who has locked himself away from the world and has a routine that keeps him in that aloneness.

“We did the interior of Adam’s apartment on a soundstage, and had big LED panels with the outside of London projected on them. I wanted the film to have a sort of strangeness from the very beginning that felt slightly shifted from reality, and those LED panels gave it that. Director of photography Jamie Ramsey was able to do something slightly different with the focus - the deep background outside is more in focus than it ever would be if you were shooting in a real apartment. That was enormously useful in bringing a slight oddness to being in this room.

“When Adam opens the door on Harry, we first see Harry’s face in a mirror on the wall. There are a lot of mirrors and reflections in the film, and I like it here because it’s as if Adam is being faced with a reflection of himself — someone else who is intensely alone and is reaching out and looking for help. It was a hard scene for Paul — he’s got to play drunk, be flirtatious and sexual, but also some desperation has to be leaking out underneath the surface. It can’t just be a ‘meet cute’, there has to be a reason why Adam shuts the door on him.

“I can’t tell you how many different sounds we listened to with Joakim Sundström and the sound team. There are so many levels of sound going on within this scene — different air vents, different tones, the deep rumble of a lift coming up and disappearing. I love also the moment of silence between them when it gets really quiet. If people are eating popcorn in the cinema, they are going to have to stop eating at that moment.

“There was a bit of dialogue at the end of the scene where Harry got quite angry with Adam. But it just didn’t feel right in the end, it felt like it was pushing it too far in one direction.”

Adam comes out to his mother in the kitchen

The scene: Returning to his childhood home in Sanderstead, Croydon, for the second time, Adam finds his mum alone. Over tea and flapjacks in the kitchen, he tells her that he is gay. Her discomfort and judgmental attitude make for an uncomfortable encounter.

Haigh: “What is important about this scene is that it is doing two things. It is about a son telling his mother that he is gay, but it is also about an adult living now being reminded of what it felt like to be gay in the 1980s. I remember growing up at that time [Haigh was born in 1973] and how Adam’s mum feels is how everybody thought about gay people. It was a rough time to be gay, and suddenly Adam is back there again - all this icky pain starts to bubble up as his mum is talking.

“I didn’t want to demonise the mother. It is clear to me, and Claire plays it exactly like this, that she absolutely adores her son. But she lives in a time when her opinions have been formed and forged by the culture she lives in. Claire knew she had to be that person from the ’80s, and she absolutely threw herself into how her character would have felt. It’s a hard thing to do, and she did it beautifully.

“The role of tea is paramount and we talked a lot about it. When does the mother pour? When do they just hold their cups? When does Adam play with the flapjacks? They’re all fundamental to understanding the subtext. The mother has made flapjacks, something he always loved as a kid, and at the end she decides not to eat them. That’s quite brutal, as if this beautiful, nostalgic thing has been fundamentally altered.

“Costume designer Sarah Blenkinsop wanted all the costumes to have texture. You know what the teal velour tracksuit Claire wears in this scene feels like to touch, and that is another way to drag you back into the past. The whole film is trying to find ways to transport us back to a past, and if your mother had worn something like that, it would be something that you would always remember. The costumes and the way the house is decorated are to remind the audience we are in the middle of the 1980s.

“The house we shot in was not a big house. It’s a small, semi-detached house with a whole crew in there trying to film the scene. But I love the limitations because it means no-one can be in the room apart from you, the actors, the camera [operator] and the boom op. Everyone else is away, and it makes it feel so intimate.”

Adam and Harry go to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern

The scene: After having sex in Adam’s apartment, Adam and Harry go to a nightclub. There they drink, dance and snort ketamine. The evening becomes dreamlike and euphoric as the drug kicks in. They kiss passionately on the dancefloor.

Haigh: “Before this, there is a beautiful moment with Adam and his dad where you feel a deep connection and that something has been solved between them. There is a lightness to Adam at this point; a burden has been lifted and he wants to go out and show the world he’s in the early stages of a romantic relationship.

“I used to go to the Vauxhall Tavern all the time in the 1990s. There was a night called Duckie on Saturday night, which I was always going to. I lived in nearby Kennington at the time and it was a special place. It was an alternative venue that played such a wide range of music, so for me it felt the only choice to shoot in.

“Club scenes are difficult to get right, and the only way to get them right is to feel like you are in a club — that it’s late at night, you’re sweating and you’ve been dancing too long. So we played music for ages, and everyone was dancing before the camera was even rolling. We shot during the day in the height of summer with 150 people, so it was really hot and sweaty. But it needed to be loud and feel like you were being pushed from one side to another.

“The lighting in the club was limited, so we put in lots of vibrant pinks and deep purples. There is something sexy and dark and erotic about that colour scheme that speaks to gay clubs of the past. The scene feels so different from the rest of the film, but it also recalls colours that we use elsewhere. I love how the lighting scheme develops and how we start to make it stranger and a little bit uncomfortable.

“I don’t think we planned the shot where Adam and Harry kiss, with the light streaming behind them. But I wanted them to kiss each other and the light was behind them and it felt like such a magical moment. It’s like the whole world disappears around them and you’re just focusing on this beautiful, sensual, wondrous moment. They’re gay people in the safe space of a queer club and they can be exactly who they are, in public.

“There’s no point pretending the club scene is not associated with drug-taking — it has been since the dawn of time. You may as well be matter-of-fact about that, rather than try to make a moral argument.”

Adam and his parents go to the High Hat diner

The scene: Sensing their time together is drawing to a close, Adam goes with his parents to an American-themed diner he enjoyed visiting as a child. There they ask about how they died, before departing.

Haigh: “I knew there would have to be a goodbye scene. This film would make no sense if the parents were constantly going to be there. They’ve come back to help Adam, and he has got to the stage where he doesn’t need them anymore.

“Beginning the scene with ‘If I Could See (Through The Eyes Of A Child)’ by Patsy Cline was a bit of a random choice. I wanted a song that spoke to the Americana of the location — a theme restaurant in a brutalist shopping centre that was actually a TGI Fridays. When I was a kid, the height of glamour was going to a Happy Eater or Little Chef by the side of a motorway, which were the British version of American diners. The most exciting moments from when you were young can be so strange when you look back at them.

“I love the triangular composition, where you see all three heads. You’ve got the parents on both sides of Adam, helping him move forward like angels on his shoulder. They’re like an extension of Adam’s mind, and of course you could see the film that way if you wanted to - that all of this is only existing within his head.

“We had a lot of questions about how the parents would vanish. I wanted it to be simple because that is what happens when you lose someone. We used an optical effect to have the light in their eyes gently fade. And then they are gone, and it’s just Adam alone with three milkshakes on the table and nobody else around him.

“Crying on camera is a strange thing — it has to feel real and honest or it looks like it’s been forced. With Andrew, there was no holding him back; there was nothing he could do but cry in that moment. It was an emotional scene to shoot and it took some stamina. We spent a whole day on it, and half of the crew were crying.

“Emilie Levienaise-Farrouch did a wonderful job with the music. She was smart in saying we didn’t want much in this scene, and that overplaying it would make it far too sentimental. It is on the edge of sentimentality anyway, but you’ve got to stay on that edge; you can’t fall over the top of it. It was a real balancing act, and I think the way her score builds and shifts and rises is really powerful.”'

#Emilie Levienaise-Farrouch #Andrew Haigh #All of Us Strangers #Andrew Scott #Paul Mescal #Jamie Bell #Claire Foy #Royal Vauxhall Tavern #Sarah Blenkinsop #Jamie Ramsay #Joakim Sundström #Patsy Cline #If I Could See (Through The Eyes Of A Child)

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