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#peter petigrew angst
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Thinking about making a Jegulus modern day/Romeo and Juliet fic. Regulus has been forced by his parents to marry the mayors daughter (Emmeline). James has been rejected by Lily again, so Sirius drags him to the engagement party. Would anyone read it?
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evanrosiersbfreal · 1 year
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peter and sybill are such a hood ship idc like THE ANGST like sybill seeing what peter was gonna do and him promising her he wouldn’t AND THEN HE DID
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WHO/WHAT I WRITE FOR
* stranger things: nancy wheeler, robin buckley, ronance, max mayfield, mike wheeler, madwheeler, will byers, byler
* wednesday: wednesday addams, tyler galpin, wyler
* harry potter: hermione granger, draco malfoy, dramione, siruis black, remus lupin, wolfstar
* anne with an e: anne shirley cuthbert, gilbert blythe, shirbert
* hunger games: lucy gray baird, coriolanus snow, snowbaird
* marvel: miles morales, gwen stacy, gwiles (spiderverse only)
* battlestar galactica: kara "starbuck" thrace, lee "apollo" adama, starpollo, sam t. anders, anastasia "dee" dualla
* if you have any questions about any of my fandoms or ships, feel free to ask! i may be forgetting some or if you're just wanting to know about any ships or fandoms i haven't listed!
THINGS I WRITE
- fandoms: wednesday, stranger things, harry potter, anne with an e, hunger games, battlestar galactica
- fandoms i'm in but don't write a lot (or write nothing) for: star wars, marvel, maze runner, how to train your dragon, disney, she-ra, gravity falls, star versus the forces of evil, the owl house, carnival row, spiderverse, lord of the rings, the hobbit, chronicles of narnia, miss peregrine's home for peculiar children, ever after high, teen wolf, merlin, and heartstopper
- ships: my main four are wyler, ronance, shirbert, and dramione. but my entire list consists of those, reylo, madwheeler, byler, wolfstar, snowbaird, starco, gwiles, and starpollo
- drabbles, blurbs, one shots, fanfics and fanfic concepts
- fluff, smut, angst, and whump
not writing but i also enjoy making moodboards/aesthetics and gifsets (though i am still learning gifs)
i also enjoy compiling/making playlists!!
THINGS I WON'T WRITE
- reader inserts, just not something i'm super comfortable with
- along with reader inserts is any ocs × canon characters. i prefer to write canon characters × canon characters as it's easier for me and just my preference
- toxic/bad ships, for example: snape and hermione. and i will absolutely not write ships for characters that are related to each other or have a major age difference!!! or any weird ones like dobby × harry.
- certain tws! anything that relates to r*pe, incest, pedophilia, eating disorders, sewerslide, etc. other tws i have written before and are okay for me to write, like self-harm, suicidal thoughts, heavy angst/whump, blood/violence, etc. if you're unsure you can always ask me, or i'll let you know if i'd prefer not to write a certain topic
- crack ships, it's just not my thing as i don't really write anything that's meant to be comical
- certain characters: this goes along with the toxic ships, etc. but there are certain characters i will refuse to write. an example is billy hargrove or peter petigrew. the reasons of why i won't may vary but it shall be respected regardless
•••
if you have any questions about any of this feel free to comment them, pm me, or send em in asks!
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ao3feed-snape · 2 years
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His brightest star
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/gIDkvHj
by jegulust
Hogwarts au - jegulus is the main focus - background relationships - fuck j.k rowling - endgame jegulus BUT some rough patches UPDATES ATLEAST ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS
Words: 567, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M
Characters: Regulus Black, James Potter, Sirius Black, Marlene McKinnon, Lily Evans, Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald, Pandora Lovegood, Peter Pettigrew, Bartemius Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, Severus Snape
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Pandora Lovegood/Lily Evans Potter
Additional Tags: Jegulus, Starchaser, mild wolfstar, walburgas A plus parenting, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Slow Burn, Slow Build, starwatching, Late Nights, major angst at first, Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mild Sexual Content, might write more smutty things idk, maybe smut, Underage - Freeform, Background Jily, top regulus, Bottom James, Panic Attacks, French Regulus Black, Regulus Black Speaks French, Quidditch Captain James Potter, good relationship between regulus and sirius, Secret Relationship, Gay Regulus Black, Bi James Potter, Gay Sirius Black, Gay Marlene McKinnon, Gay Dorcas Meadows, Gay Remus Lupin, pan pandora lovegood, Everyone Is Gay, Regulus Black Needs a Hug, Hogwarts AU, best friends brother, regulus’s astronomy obsession, Candle Lit Dinners, james potter is so bold, peter petigrew is a little shite, Severus Snape Bashing, No Jily, Endgame Jegulus, non-canon compliant, Regulus POV, James POV
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/gIDkvHj
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ashes-and-ashes · 4 years
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The Last Conversation
“Okay,” Sirius says. “And what do you do if someone breaks in?”
Across from him, in the chair adjacent to the table, Peter gives him a watery smile. He’s fidgeting, like he always did back when they were younger, twisting a small wire into various shapes between his hands. “I...uh. I use the fireplace. Floo Powder. I go to Andromdea’s - she grabs everyone and changes the sign. Dumbledore sends a portkey over and we all go to Hogwarts.”
“Yeah.” Sirius nods his head. “And what happens if Andromeda is...” He forced himself to spit the words out. “Compromised or dead?”
Peter blinks. “Escape hatch. Left bedroom. Third floor. There’s a deactivated portkey there - I reactivate it, it takes me to Godric’s Hollow. Brooms are underneath the third tomb, marked Laetitia Wen, I fly to the Prewett’s.”
“Good.” Sirius leans back in his chair. The skies had gone dark around them, shades of blue and gold, like the silk blanket that him and Remus had on top of their bed. “If you get killed?”
Peter points to him. “You’re next keeper.”
“If you get taken?”
“I...” Peter trails off. “Pill.”
“Yeah.”
Peter looks down. The wire was wound around tight around his finger now, the lines smooth from being worn down so many times. Looking at him now, Sirius felt a strange urge to protect him, to shield him like he used to shield Regulus.
He thinks that’s why he befriended Peter, on the train so long ago. He needed a brother, another Regulus, someone who he could look after without getting hurt. Sirius has always needed people - people to take the edge off, people who could be there for him, and Peter with his big eyes and blond hair seemed perfect for that.
Sirius looks at his watch; it’s almost 6 now, the skies rapidly darkening behind him. “Well,” he says, and Peter gives a little jump. “I better go. Moony’s expecting me, and I need to be over at James’ at 7.”
Peter looks up at him, and Sirius wonders if he’s okay; his skin has gone an awful grey colour, his eyes dull and flat. “Why are you going there?”
Sirius shrugs. “Moony gets pissed if no one is home to eat.”
“Not there. James and Lily’s. Why are you going over?”
Sirius cocks his head. “It’s Harry’s second Halloween. I promised I would come and trick or treat with him, since they...can’t.”
Peter looks worried. He’s gnawing at his thumbnail now, his cheeks flushed.
“Don’t worry,” Sirius says. “We’re not even leaving the house. I’ll just enchant some of his stuffies to walk around, and we’ll go from room to room and hide candy. We’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Peter whispers. He coughs, clears his throat, then gives Sirius a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I know I’m overreacting.”
Sirius lets his chair fall forward, all four legs landing on the ground with a hard crunch. “Hey,” he says, his voice soft. “Look. I know...I know it’s hard to be Keeper. God, I’d be terrified out of my wits. But don’t worry. You’re a marauder, Peter. I’d die before I’d let anyone hurt you. I promise. They would have to kill me before I’d let you get hurt. Same as Remus. You’ll be fine, okay? Just don’t draw attention to yourself.”
Peter gives him a wan smile. If anything, he looks worse now, sickly and pale and drawn. His fingers tap away at the edge of the table, a maddening beat in time with Sirius’ heart. “Thanks,” he says suddenly. “For everything.”
Sirius laughs, standing up and shoving his chair underneath the table in one swift motion. “Of course. There’s a reason why I’m friends with you. You’re brave, Pete. I know you don’t think it but you are. You’re one of the bravest people I know.”
“Yeah,” Peter breathes. He looks down, then pushes himself up against the table. “I better go now. Get comfortable and all.”
“See you later Pete,” Sirius calls, and Peter gives him a small wave. “Oh! I forgot. I’ll tell Re that you’re coming round for dinner on Friday, right? We’re cooking - we’ll bring food round to theirs.”
“Yeah,” Peter mumbles. “I’ll be there.”
“Great,” Sirius says. He reaches over, pats Peter on the back. “And it’s my birthday tomorrow, so we’ll have a beer or something, yeah?”
“Sounds good.”
Sirius nods. He gives Peter a quick hug; he can feel the other man stiffen slightly before relaxing into it. “Thanks for being Keeper.”
Peter draws back. Something flashes in his eyes, so fast that Sirius can’t see it. “No problem,” he says. “It’s my pleasure.”
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sparklyicecube · 5 years
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He’d be proud
This is my secret santa present for @maidenofbagend for the Harry Potter Secret Santa! It’s a prongsfoot fanfic that I hope you will enjoy!
“Why must this happen to meeeeeeeeee.”
“Well well, I never thought I’d see you on the bed contemplating life, if I might guess, wondering why you like a certain deer?”
Sirius threw a pillow at the person.
“Shut up Remus. I don’t have a crush on any deer, and it’s a stag not a deer.”
Remus smirked while Sirius’s eyes widened in realisation of his mistake and buried his face in his pillow.
“Oh come on, what is it this time?” Prodded Remus.
“You know, James has done so much for me, taking me in on holidays, pranking with me, being so kind and helpful…” Sirius trailed off.
“I wouldn’t be so quick to give him those last two compliments if I were you.”
“I just,” Sirius sighed, “I want to get him something nice for christmas.”
Remus laughed, it wasn’t often that Sirius let down his cool, smug-like demeanor to show weakness like this, and the fact that this was for his best friend made it even better.
“If it’s just about that I’m sure you can find something great. Remember, it has to come from the heart.” Reminded Remus.
The door flew open as James dramatically walked in, Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius laughed.
“I’m so sorry my dear Sirius but I do quite need Remus for as long as this activity takes.” Declared James.
Remus and Sirius looked at each other, Remus shrugged and got up from where he was sitting on the bed to follow James.
Sirius kept up his cool smirk until the door closed then threw the blankets over himself in an attempt to figure out how to cool his face down.
James on the other hand was in a similar situation, except he now had a reluctant ear for him to talk to.
“Remus I called him ‘dear’!” Wailed James as soon as he stepped out of earshot. Remus wondered why his two best friends were like this. “Remus, I need to get him the best present ever! But I don’t think he even really wants anything!”
Remus sat in a comfy chair in the Gryffindor common with his book that he managed to grab, James spread out on a couch, it was practically midnight and they could talk well without any peepers, as far as they cared at least.
“Remuuuuuuus.” James whined, “What do I get him for christmas?”
Remus’s eye twitched but he didn’t snap.
“I don’t know, why don’t you wrap yourself up in a bow and give him that?” Hinted Remus.
“Best friend status doesn’t carry that far.” James complained. Remus sighed, these two were going to need a lot of pushing to get an inch past ‘best friend status’.
He went back to reading his book before another whine came from the couch.
“Remus, I know me and Sirius are close, and I know I’m irresistible, and you’re helping me but… I think he has a crush on you.”
Remus froze and put his book down, James didn’t know all the nights that Sirius spent ranting about James’s messy hair, dorky glasses, the infuriating dance between him and James that kept them always within arms length, never more never less. However, James had a point, for someone who never knew what was said, who just knew the hours and that Sirius was dying to talk to Remus for some reason, it was quite likely that it could be true. But not in this case.
“Look, I think we both know that’s not true, and even if it were, that wouldn’t stop you from getting him a magnificent christmas present or be stressed about it, so let’s work on one thing at a time okay? Come on, let’s go to bed.”
“You haven’t done your transfiguration homework?” Asked James as he caught sight of Peter’s frantic writing.
“What’s another word for ‘this shows’?” Asked a very stressed Peter.
“Try using ‘this highlights’.” Suggested Remus, taking a bite of the very delicious-looking sandwich.
The four were sitting at the dining table, eating their breakfast and doing their homework and…
“Hey Padfoot, no matter how much you stare at my muffin I’m not giving it to you.” Teased James.
Sirius snapped out of his trance-like state, from staring not at the muffin but at a certain someone Remus observed. He quickly bounced back.
“That muffin? I was just wondering how you never get sick of the same muffin everyday, really, you’re going to turn into a muffin one day!”
“Hah!” Exclaimed James. “You’re saying that but in reality you think my muffin is awesome!” The two burst into laughter.
James leaned over to peep at what Peter was writing.
“Um, I don’t think Minnie wants an essay on changing pizzas into muffins…” Commented James.
“I can’t stand it! I can’t write this! I need food!” He cried.
“I can’t wait until the holidays!” James said, ignoring Peter shovelling food into his mouth. “You guys could come over!” Realised James perking up.
“As much as I’d like to, my mom would freak if I don’t go home.” Answered Sirius with a slightly downed tone.
“Then… send me an owl when you convince her, we could meet up a week before school maybe?”
“Remember, she infiltrates all the owls.” Pointed out Sirius semi-dejectedly.
At that point the bell rang and sent the four scrambling for their books and equipment and imminent doom.
“Cleaning the trophy room is boring.” Declared James.
“Yes but we were 10 minutes late to class.” Pointed out Remus.
“Why did Professor have to split up me and Sirius?” Protested James as he attempted to wipe off the dust on a glass cabinet.
“She had a point, as long as you two were together there’d be no way the detention would be properly carried out.” Remus pointed out.
“Well in that case… Remus I still have no idea what to get him for christmas!!!” James complained, “And not much time to get it!”
“Why not a mirror, so you can feed his big ego?” Suggested Remus.
“A mirror is boring… “
“A phone?”
“What’s a phone…”
“It’s something muggles use to communicate with each other.”
“But that’s a muggle thing…” James’s eyes suddenly lit up, as if struck by a lightning bolt of inspiration. “You’re brilliant Remus! If I get him a mirror that we can use to communicate then there’s no way his mom can take it from him right? All I have to do is make it so that the mirror reflects what the other mirror should be reflecting! And audio of course… You’re a genius!”
“Well when am I not?”
Would a genius push their two best friends, who clearly want to get together, off a cliff? Yes, yes they would. Should he? Yes, yes he should. Can he? No, unfortunately there are not enough cliffs in Hogwarts that are convenient to push people off, and there aren’t any books in Azkaban. Would a genius push together, not just anyone, but Sirius Black and James Potter? The two biggest idiots and pranksters on the planet? No. Definitely not. But he shall do it anyway.
A slight trip and push landed Sirius a spot in James’s arms. It didn't end there though, nothing the marauders did ended at just that, no, James caught him like a fairy tale and spun him around. ‘Where did the rose in James’s mouth come from?’ Questioned Remus in his head. They threw their heads up in a flourish and ended on a showy pose. James looked down for a split second only the other marauders could see from their front row seats and proceeded to drop his best friend on the floor of the great hall, for now their fellow students can go back eating their dinner in peace.
James blinked in surprise then profusely apologised. Sirius made a big show of spinning his head around dizzily.
“Remus, I think I have a headache, take me to Madame Pomfrey.” Sirius then grabbed onto Remus’s hand and pulled him along out of the hall.
“What are you-”
“Remus I can't take it…” Sirius sighed. “Not that close, not that intimate just not that, you know?” Sirius looked at Remus for confirmation, a longing in his eyes.
“Then tell him already for goodness sake! It’s not my place to confess for you, you know?” Remus said.
“I would but…” Sirius looked away, “I don't think he'll say yes.”
“On what basis?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Remus, it's so obvious, he likes you.” Sirius stated sorrowfully.
Remus thought back to the time where James basically begged him to help woo Sirius, the time that Remus had to listen to an hour of ranting about Sirius’s amazing comebacks and so on, these two were crazy similar yet surprisingly dense to no one but the other.
“Look Sirius, even if he does for some insane reason have a crush on me, I’d turn him down.” Remus deadpanned. Sirius stared at him.
“What?”
“Well yeah, I don't have any feelings for James and there is someone right beside me who’d be perfect for him.” Remus nudged him with his elbow playfully.
“Thanks.” The two started walking back to the great hall. “You know I’m thinking a scrapbook…”
As they ate dinner Remus thought of possible date ideas, library? They would never. Picnic? Not grand enough. Astronomy tower? Too cramped. Now Remus was starting to reconsider the idea of pushing the two off a cliff, maybe into the lake would be more feasible. Wait, this year they can finally go to Hogsmeade! And Remus knows for a fact that the two have the signatures ready so…
“So, The trip to Hogsmeade is coming up soon, where do you two want to go first?” Asked Remus.
“I don’t know, oh! They said that they have a joke shop! Let’s all go and get materials!” Exclaimed James.
“What about the Three Broomsticks? We can all go-” Started Sirius.
“Actually,” Remus cut in, swinging his arm onto Peter’s shoulder. “Me and Peter have plans for Hogsmeade.” Said Remus calmly.
“We do?” Asked Peter blankly.
“Remember? We have some christmas shopping to do, alone.” Emphasized Remus. James and Sirius shared a mildly suspicious look.
“Better get us amazing presents!” Teased Sirius.
James and Sirius walked into the Three Broomsticks in awe, Hogsmeade was truly magical, even to those who had grew up in it. They snagged a comfy little table, they saw some of their fellow students but when they looked like they might come over they seemed to change their minds. The two were good at keeping up appearances but on the inside both were freaking out, it was so obvious that this was meant to be a cute little date for the two but they had danced this ‘best friend’ dance for so long that it was hard to step out.
“So, how is life?” Asked Sirius in a joking way, putting his face to rest on top of his palm, propping himself up.
“Well,” Began James, mimicking Sirius’s pose. “How is the most handsome person in the world?” The pickup line had been set in place, ready for Sirius to ping-pong it back but…
“Amazing, thanks for asking.” Replied Sirius coolly, making a mental note to try and quell the butterflies in his stomach.
They both laughed for a bit before discussing about a bit of light quidditch then lapsing into awkward silence.
“So… Remus and Peter went christmas shopping huh?”
“Yeah… On that note, have you gotten my gift yet?”
James had a look of terror on his face before replying: “All done and wrapped in time for christmas.” He boasted gleefully. “What about you?”
“You really think you’d be done before me? I finished ages ago.” Sirius inwardly panicked, he had started the scrapbook but it was only half-done.
“That sure is convincing.” James pointed out before bursting into laughter with Sirius.
“Are you sure about this Remus?” Asked Peter. The two of them were under James’s very handy invisibility cloak, Remus was watching James and Sirius walk into the restaurant. Remus finally explained everything to Peter (who was legitimately
unaware of everything that was happening) and made sure their unofficial date was a success. He managed to hand all the other students notes saying to keep away from the two, and was monitoring them.
“Yes. Not really but if I don’t do this now I will have to live more of this nonsense before christmas official comes.”
“Is that their new strawberry cheesecake crumpet?!” Asked Peter, dashing out, pulling off their invisibility cloak off. It was quite dark so not many noticed it but Sirius saw him and immediately made a beeline for him, almost spilling with news. James also got up and started going towards him and Remus panicked.
Remus grabbed Sirius’s hand and with some quick maneuvering managed to get it in James’s, carrying with the momentum a twirl.
“Take Sirius, dance with him, kiss him and shut him up please.” Pleaded Remus.
James looked into Sirius’s grey eyes, Sirius into James’s hazel. The bulk of the restaurant was watching. The moment stretched out and instead of dropping Sirius like the incident before (he is never going to live that down) James pulled Sirius up to connect their lips.
The entire restaurant was clapping and hooting and many stood up to give a standing ovation. There were fireworks in the background and this was truly where the both of them belonged, in the middle of a crowd right next to each other.
James hefted Sirius to his feet and they both had huge arching smiles that haven’t been seen for forever. Remus joined them as they started towards the door.
“Did something happen?” Asked Peter, sprinting to catch up with them.
The Marauders laughed and headed back towards the big castle of Hogwarts.
“Come on.” Whined James. “Your parents won’t allow you to be away on christmas, neither will yours or yours or mine!” Gesturing to all the Marauders. “And I want to see your faces when you  open my presents!”
“He holds a valid point.” Noted Sirius.
“Just Marauder presents though, I am opening all of my other presents on christmas day itself.” Finalised Remus.
The other three nodded with so much enthusiasm that Remus couldn’t help to laugh.
They started opening their presents, shouting with glee.
“A mirror?” Said Sirius quizzically, then immediately started posing in front of it.
“Nope! That’s what you think but actually, you see in this mirror what you are supposed to be seeing in the other.” Explained James with pride.
“We can see each other even when my mother doesn’t want me to!” Squealed Sirius, grabbing James and pulling him into a kiss, which, has been a regular occurrence ever since that date.
“Open mine now.” Said Sirius with excitement, passing the parcel over.
“Is this a… scrapbook?” Asked James.
“Yep! I added as many photos as I could, especially the embarrassing ones!” They spent all night looking through the book, even when the Head Prefect told them that some people needed to sleep. The four of them went home that year with the biggest smiles ever and constantly laughing, two of them with a newfound relationship and happiness.
“I remember that, you gave me and James ‘portable fans’.”
“Yep, a very good decision if you ask me.”
“What was it you said? Oh yes. ‘The next time either of you say ‘I’m so hot’ there is a fan right there.’ Very sassy.”
The two looked wistfully out of Sirius’s window.
“Do you think Harry is going to have a christmas as good as that?”
“Well if Molly gets ahold of him I guarantee you he will, and as long as you are around I’m sure he will also be happy, Sirius.” Sirius smiled sadly.
“I miss him.”
“There isn’t a soul who doesn’t.”
“Death Eaters?”
“They don’t have souls.” The two laughed slightly, not nearly as full or as carefree as they were when they were thirteen but when you are both scarred, scared and in the middle of a war, that is good enough.
“Well I’ve got to go, Nymphadora is expecting me soon.”
“Doesn’t she hate people calling her that?”
“Your point?”
“James would be proud.” Remus gave Sirius a tired smile.
Sirius sat in his room, it was decorated with red and gold, quidditch posters and so on, yes. James would be proud.
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englishmensbitch16 · 2 years
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Hi everyone, so this is my first story I’m going to be writing on here if anyone has suggestions or anything about my writing please let me know I’m very open to any kind feedback<3
“I will love either way” part 1
Summary- This story is a Remus lupin x reader story based on the song It’ll be okay by Shawn Mendes and will take place in hogwarts the story will have a few time jumps starting in first year and ending in year 7
Warnings- angst, self loathing, talk about scars, kissing, pining, yelling, smut will go into further details when the smut comes in the story, fluff
First year
Y/n was sitting on the hogwarts express with her friend Lily waiting as her fellow first years climb aboard so they can finally start their journey to their new home, after a few more minutes of Y/n staring out the window the train had finally started to move and that’s when Y/n and Lily heard a loud crash from outside their compartment suddenly their door swung open and their stood 3 young boys most likely first years as well, one had longer black hair with sharp grey eyes and very well dressed for an 11 year old boy, the one next to him was slightly shorter than him with curly dark brown hair with large glasses on his face, he was also dressed quite nicely and the 3rd boy was much smaller than the other 2 with blond hair that was slightly messy and blue eyes that seemed much to big for his face.
“ hello there ladies my names Sirius, Sirius Black” Said the boy with the grey eyes and long dark hair.
“This is James Potter my brand new best friend” Sirius said while throwing his arm around the boy with the glasses who you assume must be James.
“And this little man is Peter Petigrew , another friend I’ve made today” Sirius said with much excitement he must be happy to be making friends.
You and Lily just sat there without saying anything as the loud boys who just barged into your compartment stood in the doorway, you felt like there was too much silence and broke it with a warm welcome.
“ hello my name’s Y/n Y/l/n, this is my friend Lily Evans.” You say pointing to the red head across from you, the moment u said her name all the boys eyes went from you to her and you swore u saw James’ eyes bulge out of his head and turn into hearts, your also pretty sure Sirius noticed it as well because he quickly shoved James into the open seat next to Lily before saying
“ well I hope you beautiful ladies don’t mind but all the compartments are full so you get to enjoy our wonderful company during the ride” Sirius then took the seat next to James without waiting for an answer while Peter quietly sat as far as he could away from you.
Sirius’ eyes bulged out of his head for a moment before loudly speaking to James “James we’ve lost Remus”
“Remus? Who’s Remus?” You asked concerned how they lost someone.
“ oh he’s another friend we’ve made today he’s very nice, quiet but nice. Well I will be right back I’m off go find him” and with that Sirius left the compartment off to find this Remus guy that you haven’t met yet.
A few moments go by and Sirius was still not back yet, Peter seemed to have fallen asleep against the side of the compartment and James was talking Lily’s ear off about quidditch, shutting out James’ loud voice and Peter’s snores you opened your book Jane Eyre to where you left off last and continued to read. You were able to complete about 2 more chapters before you heard the compartment door swing open once again and In came Sirius along with lanky boy with sandy brownish auburn hair that was slightly shaggy but in a nice way and he had the nicest hazel eyes but when the sun peaked through the window from behind some trees they seemed almost green, he definitely stood taller then the rest of the boys but his demeanour was much more different he seems to be shy with his head hanging slightly compared to Sirius’ loud composure he also had a few scars on his face not large ones but big enough to notice and he was holding a bunch of sweets from the candy cart that went by a while ago.
“ well Ladies this is the handsome Remus lupin” Sirius said while patting Remus on the back which caused Remus to slightly stumble further into the compartment to where he was about 2 feet away from you.
Remus looked down at you still holding all the sweets in his hand when he slightly smiled at you causing your heart to beat much faster than it was before.
“ … um hi .. it’s very nice to meet you Remus I’m Y/n and that’s my friend Lily” you slightly stumbled over your words talking to this boy and you never stumble over your words hell your so good at speaking you have debate trophies to prove it “ would you like to sit down?” You ask while pointing to the empty place beside you seeing as Sirius already went back to his spot next to James
“Oh um yes please.. I mean Um yes thank you” he said shyly taking the place next you, you noticed he was still holding all those sweets
“ seems like you might be a little hungry” you giggled you actually GIGGLED at him what it’s going on right now why are u giggling
Remus’ cheeks turned a bright red when he looked down at his arms and noticed he was still holding all the sweets “ oh um yeah haha well I got lost and when Sirius found me I was at the candy cart trying to see if I had enough for a chocolate frog so he came up and just bought everything I had in my hands plus more for all you guys” he seemed to be a little more relaxed now still had some walls up they just weren’t as high anymore.
You laughed at what he was saying “ well that’s very nice of you Sirius thanks mate”
Sirius sent you a sly wink saying no problem before going back to his conversation with James
You and Remus chatted some more, Turns out he always loves reading just as much as you do and has also read Jane Eyre and many other classics you love, everyone was enjoying the snacks the boys have brought as well including Peter who basically jumped awake by the sound of wrappers crinkling everyone laughed at that. After everyone enjoyed their sweets you still had another little while before reaching Hogwarts and u felt a little tired to you decided to rest your eyes for a bit what you didn’t intend to do was fall asleep on Remus’ shoulder.
Remus was slightly stunned by this action and tensed a bit causing you to stir a little in ur sleep he didn’t want to wake you so he moved slightly so your head fell onto his chest and he moved his arm around your shoulder to slightly stroke your hair, you seem to calm down when he did that and he smiled lightly to himself
“ seems Remus has made himself quite smitten with out new friends here” Sirius smirked at him and Remus just rolled his eyes and put his attention back onto you this lovely little fragile thing in his hold he was terrified that the smallest movement would somehow break you.
Time skip 6th year
You sat at the Gryffindor table in the great hall with Lily waiting for the headmaster to begin his speech to commence the new year, you have seemed to change a lot over the summer growing slightly taller now reach the hight of 5’6 and ur hair is longer than the short cut u had last year that you cut on an impulse after having a break down so it now reached past your shoulders your thighs have grown a lot more since last year as well not to mention your ass was 2 times bigger than before too your skirts barely fit you anymore - that’s something u might have to bring up to professor Mcgonagal.
The weird thing about this year though was that your boys didn’t sit with you on the train, the infamous Marauders as mostly everyone in school calls them every year since first year would usually find you and Lily on the train to sit with you guys but this year this didn’t show up in your compartment with their loud presence instead u and Lily were joined by Marlene, Dorcas and Mary which was fine they were all your dorm mates any ways and you loved them all dearly you were just wondering where the boys were. Just as the thought crept into ur mind a long arm clad in leather wrapped snuggly around your shoulder.
“Well hello Mrs. y/l/n how are you this find evening?” Sirius said as poured himself some juice into his gobblet
“Sirius where the hell were u on the train?!” You say to him smacking him lightly on the chest while he was sipping his drinking causing him to spill slightly down his chin and chest “ ha you deserve that for ditching me”
He wiped him chin with the back of his hand “well I’m sorry love we were gonna come find u guys but Remus needed to talk to us about something and by the time we were done talking the trip was already have over” at the mention of Remus’ name year cheeks began to grow hot no one knew about ur crush on the Marauder well no one expect for Sirius but you trust him enough to keep that between you two.
“ alright then fine but u have to make it up to me” with a slightly teasing voice you poke Sirius in the ribs playfully
“ of course darling, ou i know the boys and I are having a party tonight in the common room to start of the school year you come and I’ll make sure u get a dance with Remus” he said poking u back in the ribs
“ what about me?” Your head had never moved so fast ur eyes went from Sirius to the tall shy beautiful man standing behind you so quickly you gave yourself whiplash.
“ oh well our sweet little y/n here was upset we didn’t sit with her on the train so I said I’d make it up to her tonight at the party” Sirius smirked at Remus
“ oh yeah y/n I’m sorry we didn’t sit with you I just needed to talk to the boys about something important, but what does the party tonight have to do with me?” Remus said fully turning to face you he’s changed since the last time you seen him, he’s much taller than before standing no shorter then 6’3 he holds himself with more confidence than before and he has a new scar over his left eye seems to be fresh.
“ well moony y/n was saying how she wants to dance with someone tonight and of course who better to dance with our girl than the second best dancer in the Marauders” Sirius laughed at ur wide eyes and flushed cheeks
“ oh yeah sure id love to dance with you y/n you always were a beautiful dancer” you didn’t think it was possible for your cheeks to become and more red than before alas your proven wrong
“ oh thank you Remus I appreciate that but u don’t have to save me a dance tonight if you don’t want to”
“Oh I’m not gonna save u a dance tonight, you’ll be the only one I’m going to be dancing with” he sent u a wink and you swore your heart stopped beating for a second, Remus has always teased you but this was different this was like a shot of confidence and flirting it made u dizzy.
“ well in that case I’ll make sure I pull out all the great moves tonight” you say trying to hide your blush
“ anyways mind if I sit?” He asked point to the spot in-between you and Sirius
“ no not at all” you shoved over so Remus could sit beside you practically shoving into Lily which caused her to push you back a little too hard to the point when ur thigh was almost on top of Remus’ “ oh I’m so sorry Lily shoved me a little to hard”
He leaned forward so he could speak into ur ear “it’s quite alright darling it’s not everyday a beautiful girl is practically sitting on my lap” he placed a hand a the small of ur back and u felt ur body melt at his touch.
This year is going to be very interesting.
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ao3feed-jily · 3 years
Text
Modern Leper
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OmtafR
by Pickle_Chips
Modern Leper follows the Marauders: Remus Lupin (a 19 year old addict in recovery), Sirius Black (a recently disowned guitar player), James Potter (a lovesick footballer) and Peter Petigrew (a lonely and ambitious young man) as they begin university and navigate the love, heartbreak, successes and betrayals of early adulthood.
I do not support JK Rowling or her anti-trans rhetoric.
Words: 19726, Chapters: 16/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M, Multi
Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew, Mary Macdonald, Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Marleen McKinnon, Poppy Pomfrey, Regulus Black
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Additional Tags: Past Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, Get Together, AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Everybody Lives, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Marauders
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OmtafR
0 notes
ao3feed-snape · 2 years
Text
His brightest star
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Fd89fUH
by jegulust
I hope you’re surprised because um well you’ll see.
Words: 567, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M
Characters: Regulus Black, James Potter, Sirius Black, Marlene McKinnon, Lily Evans, Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald, Pandora Lovegood, Peter Pettigrew, Bartemius Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, Severus Snape
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Pandora Lovegood/Lily Evans Potter
Additional Tags: Jegulus, Starchaser, mild wolfstar, walburgas A plus parenting, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Slow Burn, Slow Build, starwatching, Late Nights, major angst at first, Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mild Sexual Content, might write more smutty things idk, maybe smut, Underage - Freeform, Background Jily, top regulus, Bottom James, Panic Attacks, French Regulus Black, Regulus Black Speaks French, Quidditch Captain James Potter, good relationship between regulus and sirius, Secret Relationship, Gay Regulus Black, Bi James Potter, Gay Sirius Black, Gay Marlene McKinnon, Gay Dorcas Meadows, Gay Remus Lupin, pan pandora lovegood, Everyone Is Gay, Regulus Black Needs a Hug, Hogwarts AU, best friends brother, regulus’s astronomy obsession, Candle Lit Dinners, james potter is so bold, peter petigrew is a little shite, Severus Snape Bashing, No Jily, Endgame Jegulus, non-canon compliant, Regulus POV, James POV
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Fd89fUH
0 notes
ashes-and-ashes · 4 years
Text
Zombies
Remus scowled at the sky. The sun hurt his eyes, turning everything a striking, harsh white, a sun-bleached bone in the middle of the desert. The air was thick and full of dust; Remus coughed into his sleeve as they created the hill.
“Jesus,” he muttered. “Everything’s really gone to shits hasn’t it?”
James didn’t bother replying.
Remus shook his head, hitching his pack farther up on his already aching shoulders. It was falling apart, the leather worn and shiny, the stitching coming apart at the seams. They had crammed it with everything they could get; a filthy sleeping bag, a water bottle, as many cans as they could find. He had slid a knife through his belt, another one in his tattered hiking boots, the metal cool against his skin. Everyone had used Guns, in the early days of the Virus, had used guns and bullets and bombs. The days had stretched on, though. Pretty much everything was gone now, and those who had bullets wouldn’t waste it on a Zombie.
They weren’t supposed to call them that, zombies. Technically, they were referred to as the Infected. Before humans Fell, there was a death penalty for referring to them as anything different, as the governments fought to retain control of their panicking nations.
Remus shook his head again. He found himself doing it more often, caught in the tangled web of his memories, the dream-like haze of Before and the grim reality of Now. There wasn’t much to do anyways, besides walk and sleep and occasional fight against a couple of Zombies.
They had gotten lucky, him and Peter and James. They had dropped everything, ran away from the city the second the Virus had struck, all the screams and blood and burning buildings. They had been walking now, for years it seemed, hiding from humans and killing zombies and hoping that they could make it just one more day, please one more day.
Remus growls under his breath. His shoulder hurt - everything hurt actually. They had heard from others that the zombies were moving deeper into the forests, in search of the few humans who were left. They had immediately decided to head south, towards the acrid plains where there were next to no settlements, only ghost towns remaining.
He regretted it now, though, the dusty dirt and the relentless sun. His bottle was almost empty - they had filled it up at a river almost 2 days ago and hadn’t found anything since. Their food was almost gone as well, empty cans the only thing left.
Peter coughed from behind them. The massive axe strapped to his pack gleamed in the harsh light, metal and wood and leather. “We need to restock.”
“Really,” James snapped. He roughly raked his hands through his hair - it was matted, falling almost to his cheekbones, so different from the gelled spikes he used to wear so long ago. “Well fuck. There goes my plans. I wanted to have a goddamn tea party.”
Peter ignored him. They all were stressed, about the water and the food, the zombies and the desert and that haunting feeling that they were running out of time. He had changed too - they all had changed, though Peter had perhaps changed the most dramatically. The awkwardness had vanished, the soft hesitation and the warmth. The world had sucked him dry - sucked them all dry, whittling their edges until they became blades.
It was the one thing you needed, to survive in this world. The ability to keep on going, keep on walking, leave behind everything and anyone. The only people they could trust was each other, and even then their loyalty was limited. They had all made a pact, the instant it became clear that this Virus was not a fluke, that the world was fucked and they were all living on borrowed time.
If I become Infected, kill me. If I’m injured, leave me behind. Prioritize yourself over me.
Was it selfishness? Remus didn’t know. He would leave James or Peter in a heartbeat if one of them got injured, got bitten. He knew they’d do the same with him.
With a slight effort, Remus shoved the thought out of his head. He focused on putting one foot in front iof the other, head pounding slightly as he made it to the top of the hill. With a sigh, he slung the pack off his shoulders, plopping down onto the ground.
“Oh God,” he said. “It’s a fucking ghost town.”
Remus stared at the houses, the broken windows and the caved-in roofs, the cobblestone roads dusty and cracked. The sun had bleached all the colour from it, turning everything into various shades of white, the shadows stretching out across the ground.
James shook his head. “I feel like I’m in a fucking video game.”
“Zombie jump scares,” Remus agreed. “We go in there, we get jumped by a bloody corpse.”
He shivered. There was an air of abandonment to the place, written in every cracked piece of wood, every darkened window. It was like it had been preserved, as if the town had been encased in amber and left to dry in the acrid sun.
James let out a long side. “We shouldn’t risk it,” he muttered. “We’re screwed if we go in.”
Peter held up his water bottle. “We’re empty. We’d last another day, tops. We won’t reach the mountains for another 2 days at least.”
“There’s a pump,” Remus pointed out; he could just make out the slender faucet in the middle of a desecrated square. “And a well I think? Right there.”
“I don’t like it though,” James said. “This is practically the perfect spot for zombies. An abandoned ghost town? How stereotypical can we get?”
“Place’s been abandoned for a while,” Peter pointed out. “You can tell - the houses are old, and they’re not wired for electricity. And that mural on the wall - you can just barely make out the numbers 1952.”
James bit his lip. He stared at the empty water bottle in Peter’s hand, then at the empty town. “It’s only around noon,” he finally said. “We get in. We get out. Stay together.”
“People?” Remus asked.
“Don’t kill them. Try and knock them out.”
Remus nodded. “Sure.”
They carefully picked their way down the slope, trying to ignore the rocks digging into their knees. The ghost town was abolutely silent; they could hear the buzz of insects, the scuttling of mice between floorboards.
What’s the place called, James mouthed; they had become good at reading each other’s lips over the years, a skill born out of the need to stay silent when zombies were hunting them.
Hogsmeade, Peter mouthed back.
The fuck?
Remus just pointed to a sign, swinging down from the roof of a long-collapsed store. Hogsmeade Market it read, the words faded and rotted away. James rolled his eyes and looked away.
He felt Peter’s hands close around his wrist, his grip tight and demanding. Look.
Remus obeyed, following his finger to the small trail of smoke in the sky. He glanced over at James; the grim expression on his face let him know that JMes saw it too. Check it out?
James hesitated, then nodded. He fingered the short, heavy blade at his side - they knew how to take care of themselves, though that didn’t stop them from avoiding fights. They needed food though, badly - they had been living off a combination of mice-and-dandelion soup with half a tin of expired beans for the past few days and Remus knew he would starve if they didn’t find anything here.
They followed the smoke, the trail a streak of grey in the sky. It lead to a small hut, the roof caved in and windows dark - they could smell the flames though, heat the crackle of burning wood. Slowly, James eased the door open.
And Remus froze.
Suddenly he was 11 again, attending Hogwarts School, terrified out of his wits on his first day. He was 12, with 3 boys he knew he would die to protect. He was 14, kissing a boy he had loved for ages. He was 15, screaming as they left, ran from the city as the Infected razed it to the ground.
The boy was beautiful, the first truely beautful thing he had seen for god knew how long. He hadn’t seen another human in what felt like years, hadn’t seen anyone but James and Peter. The boy was beautful though, the way a knife was beautiful, sharp edges and worn bits and eyes that glinted like sharpened steel.
He laughed, the sound low and vicious. “Small world, isn’t it.”
James stepped forward; he was angling his body, Remus realized, trying to shield Remus from him. His sword rested casually in his arm; for the first time Remus noticed the bow leaning against the peeking wall. “Look, I’m - “
“Sorry?” The boy smirked. “For what? Leaving without me.”
James flinched. “I - “
“I waited,” the boy interrupted, “For 5 fucking hours. 5 Goddamn hours. But you were gone, weren’t you? You left me.”
“We didn’t mean to,” Peter cut in. “You were late - “
“I was preoccupied,” the boy said flatly, “by my bitch of a parents.”
Remus swallowed, hard. He remembers that night, James dragging him away, the moon high in the night sky. Come on! We’ll die if we stay, they’re coming -
We have to wait! Remus screamed. We can’t leave him!
We won’t survive if we don’t!
Slowly, Remus looked up, swallowing past the lump in his throat. His fingers tightened into fists, nails piercing through flesh.
“Oh look.” The boy sounded dangerously, cruelly excited. “He does remember.”
“You survived on your own?” James asked. Remus could see his knuckles, white on the worn leather of his blade.
The boy shrugged. “I had to. I would have been with you guys, had you not abandoned me. Forgotten me.”
Remus found his voice, hoarse and cracking. “We didn’t - I never - “
“Thank god.” The boy rolled his eyes. “I would hate to think you’d forget your ex-boyfriend.”
“I didn’t - I could never - “
“Say it.” He tilted his head, his eyes suddenly so, so bright, molten silver in the darkness of the room. “Say my name.”
Remus closed his eyes. “Sirius,” he whispered. “Sirius Black.”
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ashes-and-ashes · 4 years
Text
So the original Prompt was #5 - held at gun point but I decided to do an alternative prompt instead (alt 4 - Fever)
~
“There is no way he was at his grandmothers’ house,” James mutters.
They’re all crowded around Remus’ bed, Sirius and James and Peter, awkwardly crammed under the invisibility cloak. It’s uncomfortable; all elbows and shins and ribs, Peter’s hair in Sirius’ nose and he nearly trips over James’ feet.
“Shut up!” Peter hisses. They’re not supposed to be doing this - out of bounds and past curfew. Madame Pomfrey was right around the corner, making her rounds - they had to awkwardly duck down to cover their legs every time she walked by.
It was worth it though. They hadn’t seen Remus in 3 days, in classes or at lunch or even in the common room. His clothes were still in his trunk, his books still scattered haphazardly around the room but Remus himself had just vanished.
They had all discussed it - around the piles of notes they had taken in class, the homework stacked up in their desks. It wasn’t the first time Remus had disappeared like this, like he was running from something.
He always made up some sort of excuse - his sick mother, his sick father, his sick grandmother. Family emergencies and funerals and God the list went on and on.
But it didn’t explain why Remus always ended up in the hospital wing, with cuts and bruises marring his face. It didn’t explain why for days afterwards he would be distant, half-present, a walking ghost. It didn’t explain the bruises, the scars, the pain that always appeared and rarely left.
It didn’t explain anything.
Sirius reaches forward, smooths a strand of hair off of Remus’ forehead. He frowns; Remus’ skin is hot, burning fire against Sirius’ palm.
“He has a fever,” he murmurs, tucking the cover back under his chin.
Peter looks around worriedly. “He looks really sick. And he’s bleeding badly too - look at the bandages. They’re completely soaked through with blood. He’s obviously badly hurt.”
James practically rips the covers off of Remus. The bandages almost glow in the dim light, white and ghostly, the red splotches standing out in stark relief against the virgin cloth. There are bruises too, peeking out from underneath the cotton, yellow and purple and blue.
“Shit,” James breathes, dropping the covers. “That’s...that’s...”
Sirius can’t tear his eyes away. He follows a cut with his eyes, the edge straight and even, like the edge of a belt before it connected with skin.
Peter shakes his head, eyes wide. “Maybe he’s getting abused at home. Maybe someone is hurting him.”
Sirius can’t swallow past the lump in his throat. He knows far too well what abuse was. The scars on Remus’ back looked even worse then that.
He can’t stop himself. He reaches forwards with a shaking finger, sides it underneath the bandage, pulls it away slightly to reveal the wound. It’s deep, all shredded, pulped flesh, like it had been made with a serrated knife, catching and ripping and tearing. Strips of skin had been lain across the holes, stitching holding everything together but it was barely enough. Blood still leaked from the wounds, in a steady trickle, bright red against the coffee tones of Remus’ skin.”
“Fuck,” Sirius says. He lets the bandage fall down. Remus moans, tosses in his sleep - his cheeks are flushed from the fever, his forehead covered in sweat. One hand reaches out weakly, grasps Sirius’ hand; Remus murmurs and then turns over, lost in a fever-dream.
“That’s not an ordinary wound,” Sirius breathes. “That couldn’t have been made with a belt.”
“How do you know?” Peter asks. Sirius just shoots him a dark look.
James lets out a deep breath. “Yeah, it’s not a smooth cut. That...something caught. Tore at it. And he has a fever - it’s obviously infected or something, something that Pomfrey can’t heal right away.”
“Curses?” Peter asks.
Sirius bites his lip. “Maybe.”
James frowns. “Are there curses that can tear like that - “
“Yes.” Sirius looks back down, studies Remus. His heart clenches, though he doesn’t know why, and he slowly lifts his head.
“Something’s wrong with Remus. We need to find out what.”
127 notes · View notes
ashes-and-ashes · 4 years
Note
Could you do something before sirius runs away to james hes scared to go home this summer. The other marauders keep asking what's wrong and he keeps saying hes fine and pretty much refusing to tell the truth. But when he passes out from exhaustion bc he hasn't been eating or sleeping properly then it confirms to the other guys he has been lying then he finally opens up about being terrified to go back bc theres no point in lying now
James can feel his heart in his throat, a vicious pounding that seemed to hollow out right into his lungs. He takes a shuddering breath, dropping to the ground beside Sirius, his hand yanking the top of Sirius’ shirt down to find his neck, his pulse.
“Sirius,” he says frantically; Remus is still beside him, so still James distantly wonders if he had turned to stone. “Sirius, please, are you - “
It happens too fast for James to react - Sirius comes to with a gasp, his hand wrapped tight around James’. “Don’t touch - “
Remus is there in an instant, one hand shaking between them to grip Sirius’ arm. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”
It’s heartbreaking the way Sirius’ eyes dart across the room, the tension showing up in hard lines across his body. He swallows hard, chest heaving - Remus doesn’t let go.
“It’s alright,” he whispers. “You’re okay.”
“Remus,” Sirius croaks, burrying his face in Remus’ chest. “Oh God.”
There’s a clattering behind them; Peter perches on the side of the sofa. A levitating tray of tea floats above his knee - Remus takes one immediately, forcing it into Sirius’ shaking hand. “Thanks Pete.”
James takes a mug as well, the heat making his clenched muscles relax. He hovers awkwardly behind them, wanting to help but not knowing what to do. “Sirius?”
Sirius makes a choked noise. His fingers were white where they were clenched around the handle of the cup, his hands shaking so much that tea sloshed around the edges. “I’m sorry.”
“For what,” Peter scoffs. “Passing out? How’s that your fault?”
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” James says immediately. “Nothing.”
Sirius seems to relax a little at the words. He stares down at the tea - Peter had put cream into it, turning the whole thing a dark shade of caramel brown. “You know how I didn’t want to go home this summer?”
“Yeah,” James says - he remembers it, Sirius desperate grip on his wrist at the Station, his eyes wild and pleading. Can I stay with you? For...just for a bit? “Are you okay?”
Sirius shakes his head. He sets the cup down carefully on the coffee table. “It’s...”
He turns to Remus, who merely twines his fingers in Sirius’ hair. They seem to have a silent conversation - finally Remus pulls away and releases his grip.
“If you’re sure,” he says, and Sirius nods.
He gently untangles himself from Remus’ arms, gripping the end of his sweatshirt. “I...” he begins, then trails off. “I don’t know.”
He pulls his shirt off.
It’s like Remus’ scars. That’s all James can think about as he stares in mute horror at Sirius’ back. It’s all silver lines and puckered holes, the skin jagged and raised, lines that looked like knives and belts and the tell-tale burns of curses marks -
Peter looks like he’s about to throw up, one hand clasped around his mouth. Hell, James feels like he’s going to throw up too, at the pain his brother must have gone through, the agony that must have been done to him.
Only Remus didn’t look surprised. James wonders when he found out, if it was before or after they started dating.
“Who - “ Peter sounds horrified. “Who did this to you?”
Sirius laughs. “It’s why I didn’t want to go home this summer,” he says and James feels the icy splash of dread pool in his stomach. “My darling parents.”
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ashes-and-ashes · 5 years
Note
Confession time... I live for people treating Remus like shit because of his lycanthropy, and Sirius (and the others) being really protective and losing their temper when they see it. So if you were to write that, know that it would end me, but I'd die happy 💙
Whoops. I got carried away. Hope you like this Rosie (and I hope it is angsty enough!!)
tw for alcohol, implied self harm and depression
~
Bar fights
Sirius stares down into his glass.
He scowls. It was called the Dragon, supposedly the “fiercest drink in all of Wizarding Britain” and he can already tell that it wouldn’t be strong enough. Firewhisky and gillywater and something that made it turn bright blue, all mixed into a glass. It steamed slightly, bubbles floating to the surface and the barkeeper smirks over at him.
“A little young to be drinking eh?” He laughs. “You sure you can finish that?”
Sirius just raises an eyebrow, downing the drink in one shot. “Not strong enough,” he mutters, rapping his knuckles on the bar.
The barkeeper blinks at him, then turns away. Sirius sighs.
He supposed it wasn’t fair. He’s a Black. Judging by the amount Walburga drank, he’d been ingesting alcohol in the womb.
Sirius scrubs his hand over his face, staring down at the bar. It’s stained, from the rings of some drink long dried, and he picks at the marks with his fingernail.
He had sworn to himself, a few years ago when he was 12 that he would never drink again. Sworn it while huddled in his room, biting back his sobs as he tried to heal the gashes in his back and the waves of pain all over his body. Walburga was bad enough sober - the cuts on Sirius’ arms and legs were proof of that. But she only ever used Crucio when she was drunk.
He snatches the glass from the barkeeper, downs it again. He had only really started drinking a month ago, to keep away the nightmares and the thoughts and the images. Sobriety was hell. Better to wash it away in the haze of drink then linger on what his life had become.
The Prank. Even thinking the words made him shudder. He had replayed that night in his head, over and over again, turning over every second until the memories were seared into his brain.
If only I hadn't read the letter. If only I was strong enough to resist the torture. If only I was faster, smarter, quicker. If only I hadn’t been so stupid.
He slumps in his chair. It was over now. Him and Remus were done. He still couldn’t help but feel that it was punishment, punishment for running away, punishment for leaving Reg with his parents.
And it was Remus’ birthday today, his 16th. Sirius’ heart aches as he imagines it. Everyone crowded around Remus, everyone singing Happy Birthday to him. He had spent ages planning the events for Remus’ birthday, the picnic and the candles and the secret spot by the lake.
He laughs bitterly. Everyone thought they’d be forever, him and Re. The Prank had torn them apart.
Good, he thinks, tightening his grip on the empty glass. He’s rid of me now. He’s free.
Sirius knew he could never be free of Remus. He loved him too much, a burning, aching pain inside of him, so much that it hurt. There would always be a part of him that loved Remus, no matter how many days passed, a part of him that could never be filled by anyone else.
How many moments did they have together? How many whispered secrets and shared kisses, how many times had they traced each other’s scars?
He’d thought they’d last forever.
Sirius hears the door bang open, the sound of laughter filling the bar. He turns on his stool, half-paying attention when he freezes.
Remus stares at him, surrounded by people. James and Lily chatting animatedly, Dorcas and Marlene with their arms around each other, Gideon next to Fabian who was holding Kingsley’s hand, Peter talking to Mary. His best friends, all of them, the ones who he’d die for and they all hated him.
Sirius curses under his breath, standing in a fluid motion. He turns, grabbing his cloak, hoping that Remus would ignore him, would look away.
He’s wrong. Halfway to the door, Remus steps in front of him. “What,” he hisses, “Are you doing here?”
Sirius drops his gaze. He’s heard that steel in Remus’ voice before, heard it used on Snape and the Slytherins, to his mother and his father and everyone else who crossed him. But he’s never had it directed at him before.
Sirius swallows, hard, trying to clear the lump in his throat. “I’m….I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were coming here - “
Around him, he can feel the life going out of the party, near-identical glares being turned in his direction. He looks down. “I’ll leave now.”
Part of him still hopes. Hopes that Remus will shake his head, ask him to stay. That he can celebrate the birthday of the boy he loved most, that he could pretend just for one night that everything was okay again.
But instead, Remus just nods. “I think you should.”
Sirius bites his lip, walking towards the door. He slips out then closes it behind him, managing to make it to the alley behind the bar.
He drops to the ground, perched on the balls of his feet, his head in his hands. The night is cool, the air crisp, and he takes a deep breath.
He can feel it, the numbness, the way he was slowly drowning in it. It was as if a sheet of plastic had been placed over the world, blurring everything together, muting out all sounds. He supposed he deserved it.
Sirius lets his head rest against the wall. His lungs burn, a blinding headache forcing its way into his head and he wishes he had a cigarette.
Sirius clenches his fists, his nails digging into his palm, carving bloody half-moons into his flesh.
He scared himself sometimes, when the numbness came down and his heart ached and all he wanted to do was bleed. Something stronger, deeper than just a blade against skin, when he wanted to fight.
There’s a flurry of movement to his left, two guys walking into the alley. They’re sketchy looking, dirty and high, and Sirius ignores them. Behind him, a window opens, and he can hear laughed pouring into the alley.
He recognizes the laughs - Kingsley’s low rumble and Lily’s high-pitched giggle, James’ snort and Peter’s squeak and Marlene howling as someone banged the table. And Remus, the huff of breath as he smiled, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed. He would recognize Remus’ laugh anywhere, would recognize him even if he was blind.
The two guys on his left are mumbling, and Sirius barely makes out a few words.
“Piece of shit…”
“Just mug him then…”
“Nah don’t want to get busted….”
He ignores the words, yanking on his hair with his hands, so hard his eyes begin to water. His feet ache from crouching, his neck stiff and he winces as he he forces himself to his feet. He turns, snarling as he starts to exit the alley.
“Asshole. Won’t pay up.”
“At least he’s not a queer.”
There’s a low laugh. “Well. Or a werewolf.”
The other person snorts. “Werewolves. Filthy half breeds, ought to be put down the load of them. Always biting people and rutting around everywhere.”
“As if they’re good for anything else.”
The anger rises in Sirius, so fast he almost falls over. He turns around, clenching his fists together. “Don’t talk about werewolves like that.”
The two men pause, then look up at Sirius. The first one smiles. “What the hell you doing kid?”
The other one laughs. “Trying to be tough. Spoiling for a fight.”
“Fucktard.” The two of them snort. “Go away kid. Won’t ask again.”
Sirius doesn’t. He carefully widens his stance, one foot in front of the other. “I said. Don’t talk about werewolves like that.”
“Why?” The man winks. “Ahh. I see. Fucking one are you? Taking it straight up the ass like the fag you are, I’m sure. Probably enjoy it too.”
“Is it beastiality if he’s in human form while you fuck?” The man shrugs. “Or is it just - “
Sirius snaps.
His wand is in his hand in an instant, pointed directly at the first man. “Stupefy!” The man crashes backwards, directly into a bunch of boxes, and Sirius whirls. “Diffendo!”
Gashes appear in the floor and in the man’s skin, blood welling up from the cuts as he snarls. “Bastard. What the fuck?”
Sirius laughs, the sound slightly unhinged. His heart is pounding in his chest, his muscles tense and he loves it because finally. Finally he’s free, not thinking about Remus or Snape or the Prank, finally his head is clear. He just smiles back. “I warned you. Don’t talk about werewolves like that.”
“Fucking son of a bitch.” The man spits at Sirius’ feet. “Gay fag.”
Sirius raises an eyebrow. “Flipendo!”
The spell hurtles toward the man, who just flicks his wand. “Protego.”
Sirius steps to the side, the bolt careening past his leg. He raises his wand, fire dancing at the top. “Incendio!”
He’s not sure how long the fight lasts. The man is good, handling multiple spells with ease, managing to slice Sirius’ arm, repel his spell and revive his unconscious friend on the floor. Sirius curses, blood running down his arm, pouring into his eye from a cut on his forehead. He blinks furiously, trying to get the thick liquid out, anger burning in his chest. Without thinking, he points his wand straight at the man, right at his chest. “Cru - “
“Sirius no!”
And suddenly a hand is wrapped around his wrist, the crimson jet at the tip of his wand flying wide. He turns, yanking his arm away, about to curse the person when he stops dead.
Remus stares back at him, panting and covered in blood, the moonlight making the lines on his face glow. Sirius swears. “Shit, Re, I….” He trails off. “Re. Re, there’s blood all over you - “
“It’s yours.” Remus’ voice is steady. “I’m fine.”
“But…” With a start, Sirius remembers the men. He turns around, his wand raised, only to have Remus step in front of him. “Sirius. No.”
Sirius whirls, fury burning in his chest. “What the fuck do you mean, no?”
Remus glares back at him. “No.”
There’s a bang. Sirius whips around, in time to see the man’s fingers close over the handle of his wand. With a pop, both men disappear, vanishing to god knows where, leaving nothing behind but a trail of blood.
“This close.” Sirius’ throat is tight, like someone was slowly strangling him. He coughs, swallowing hard. “I was this close to defeating them Re, this close! I had them!”
“You were about to use Crucio on them.” Remus’ voice is cold. “You were going to use an unforgivable curse on them.”
Sirius looks down. He feels something wet on his head, on his face. Rain starts to trickle from the sky in steady streams, darkening the pavement where he stood. He meets Remus’ gaze. “Yes.”
“God Sirius.” Remus runs his hands through his hair. “How could you? You know what it was like, being tortured. How could you wish that into someone else?”
Sirius bites his lip. He can taste blood, coating his tongue and cheek, salty and metallic. “They were insulting werewolves.”
Remus stares back at him, his face draining of colour. Sirius continues. “Saying things like...like they deserved to be put down. That they were monsters. That - “
“No.” Remus’ voice is shaking. “No. Y-you.”
“Re - “
Remus shakes him off. “No. Not for me. Never for me.”
Sirius frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m not worth it.” Remus is trembling, his voice cracking on the words. “I’m not worth it Sirus, I’m not worth you attaching them! I’m not worth a fucking unforgivable curse, God, Sirius, you could have been thrown in Azkaban for that!”
“I don’t - “
“Don’t you dare.” Remus glares at him. “Don’t you dare say that you don’t care about going to Azkaban, don’t you dare say it. I am nothing, Sirius, I am nothing but a half breed, and you are a Black! You are practically a Prince and I swear, you cannot throw your life away for me!”
“I’m not throwing my life away.” Sirius keeps his voice calm. “I love you Remus, I know you don’t anymore but I do. I love you so damn much - I would go to Azkaban in a heartbeat if it would make you happy - “
“We are over,” Remus spits and the sound breaks Sirius’ heart. “We’ve been done for a month! How can you - how can you risk your life for something so stupid - “
“You’re not stupid! You mean something - “
Remus shakes his head. “I mean nothing. I am nothing in this world, nothing in this story! I am a small mark on your book Sirius, and you should leave and forget about me.”
Sirius closes his eyes. It’s pouring now, plastering Remus’ hair to his head. It soaks the ground, washing away the blood, rivlets of water dripping down his back.
“How can I forget about you, Re? I still love you.”
Remus closes his eyes. “Do you think I don’t?” He laughs bitterly. “It’s been almost a month now and I still find myself longing for what we had before.” He looks up. “But you see why we can’t, right? It’s not just...just what you did. You’re a prince, Sirius, you have your whole life ahead of you. As soon as I’m 17 I have to register. I’ll be put into a Werewolf Camp. I’ll probably die alone and starving in some alleyway somewhere.”
“Bullshit.” Sirius shakes his head. “I don’t give a damn about you being a werewolf, Re, I still love you - “
Remus just shakes his head. A small, choked noise escapes his throat, maybe a sob or maybe a laugh, and Sirius’ breath hitches. “Re - ?”
Remus just presses him against the wall and kisses him.
The rain pounds against the sidewalk, filling the air with the scent of rain, and Sirius leans back. Hungry, open mouths and roaming hands and God he’s wanted this for so long, wanted to feel Remus against him again, their lips pressed together, the steady rise and fall of the scars on their skin. He feels Remus’ fingers on his back, moving unfalteringly over the gashes, and Sirius closes his eyes.
Slowly, carefully, Remus pulls away. He steps back, his arms falling to his side, his hair sticking up in spikes. It’s hard to tell from all the rain, but Sirius thinks he sees tears in his eyes. “God. I’ve wanted…”
“Me too.” Sirius swallows. “Re - “
“No.” Remus takes another step back. “We can’t - we can’t do this - “
“Yes we can!” Sirius shakes his head. “I don’t care, Remus, I don’t give a damn that you’re a werewolf or that you’re not high-born or that you’re poor!”
“How could you fall in love - “
“I fell in love with Remus Lupin.” Sirius closes his eyes. “The kind, brave, beautiful boy who comforted me on my first night away from home. The boy who helped me with my projects and let me copy his homework. The one who taught me stitching spells when my mother started cutting me, the one who came when I woke up screaming from nightmares. I fell in love with the boy who kissed me for the first time just before a transformation, who always gave second chances. I fell in love with you, Re. Fuck the werewolf.”
“You - “ Remus’ voice cracks. “You deserve the world, Sirius. I...I don’t know if I can give that to you.”
Sirius just reaches forward. He presses his palm against Remus’ cheek, the fluttering in his heart growing as Remus leans into the touch. “You are my world, Re. I don’t need anything else.”
Remus bites his lip. “Sirius - “
“I love you.” He laughs. “God. I love you so much.”
Remus swallows, hard. He nods, pulls Sirius up closer against him. “I love you too.”
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ashes-and-ashes · 5 years
Text
I’m trying something out. Feedback is appreciated!
~
The first time the Prince says, “I love you,” he is laughing.
It is a jest, a joke, a casual word flung from a pair of lips in exchange for a list of potion ingredients. It flies from the Prince’s mouth without thinking, an unashamed phrase to an quiet friend. Said out loud in a dark classroom with a distracted teacher, prompting laughter from the lips of the Knight and the Spy, a proclaimation of adoration all because the Wolf has an extra instruction guide.
The Wolf just ducks his head, lets a small smile grow on his lips. He expects nothing more and nothing less, but even he can’t control his heartbeat when it starts to flutter.
The next time the Prince says, “I love you,” he is deadly calm.
They are still young, all of them, the Prince and the Knight and the Spy. They are whole and they are unbroken, without the cracks and bleeding cuts marring the Wolf’s flesh.
He studies them all, the kindness of the Knight, the arrogance of the Prince, the cunning of the Spy. The Wolf still wonders how he managed to find them, wonders what made him burn so brightly that the star itself noticed him.
The Prince’s voice is steady, unbreaking like the rocks on the shore. “I’m not scared of you. I know you. I love you.”
They are still children, still too young to know how deeply Love can cut, but something loosens in the Wolf’s chest at the words. He nods, not breaking eye contact with the Prince, and closes his eyes.
The third time the Prince says “I love you,” he is crying.
The Wolf finds him on the tower, staring down at the rocks. It’s cold outside, so cold that the air seems frozen, the stars twinkling down from the night sky. The Prince is breaking, like the trees when they fall in a winter’s storm, cracking apart into hundreds of strangely pointed shards.
“I can’t do this,” he says. “I can’t live with them.”
The Wolf wraps his hand around the Prince. He is shaking, shoulders bent underneath the heavy black robes, his ribs thin under the Wolf’s fingers. “You can. Don’t let the bastards win.”
The Prince sniffles. “Thanks.” He pauses, staring down at where their legs intertwine. “I love you, you know.”
The Wolf doesn’t know if he is joking or not, so he nods. “Thanks.”
The fourth time the Prince says, “I love you,” he is angry.
It was the night after the Full Moon, when the Prince transformed into a dog and the Wolf transformed into a monster. The cracking of bones, the spilling of blood, the snarls and the bites and the scars fill the Wolf’s head, and he winces.
“You shouldn’t have come,” he says, to the Prince leasing against the wall in the Castle. “I could have hurt you, I could have killed you.”
The Prince just shakes his head. “Well, get used to it. Because I’m coming from now on, whether you like it or not.”
The Wolf bites his lip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
The Prince shrugs. “You won’t.”
“You don’t know that, though.” The Wolf is snarling now, the cuts on his back aching. He sees the slices covering the Prince, and he swallows. “Why do you come? Why do you tempt fate, every though you know it may get you killed?”
“Because,” the Prince starts, but the Wolf cuts him off.
“I am nothing to you! I am a monster, the very thing that I used to hide under the bed from! I am a killer, I am a freak, I am nothing but a curse to the world. So why do you keep trying?”
The Prince is quiet now, holds the Wolf’s glance. “Because,” he says. “I love you.”
The words hurt the Wolf’s chest, making him close his eyes. “If you love me,” he whispers, “then you should find another.”
The fifth time the Prince says, “I love you,” he is dying.
The Wolf had not realized how bad War was, had not anticipated the yelling and the screaming and the blood. He shoots curse after curse, spell after spell, killing and killing and killing and it is still not enough. Every breath he took ached, every step he took burned and yet he kept killing.
The Wolf dives behind a rock, calling out for the Prince and the Knight and the Spy. “Hey, where are you - “
He is cut off by the image of the Prince’s body on the ground, his hair spread around him like a swath of silk, and the Wolf screams. “No. No!”
He lunges forward, covering the Prince’s body with his own, cradles his head. “Please. You can’t die, don’t die.” He looks around for the Knight. “Someone, help!”
The Prince cuts him off. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay.” His eyes start to flutter shut, his breaths slowing. “You’ll be okay.”
The Wolf slaps him. “Don’t you dare close your eyes.”
The Prince just reaches up, brushes blood-soaked hands over the Wolf’s cheek. “I love you,” he says. “Always.”
And no matter how many times the Wolf pleads, nothing can make the Prince open his eyes again.
The sixth time the Prince says, “I love you,” the Wolf is not there to here it.
The cell is tiny, iron bars and iron walls, rusted and cold. It seeps into the Prince’s bones, makes him cough violently. There are cuts on his hands and all over his back, blood welling over old scars.
The Prince does not remember how he got some of the scars.
His cell faces the ocean, the waves beating at the shoreline, the sprays of water that still managed to soak him, no matter how high up he was. The water is cold and crisp, stinging his face, his neck, his hands. The Wolf used to love the water, back when the Prince was still free.
The moon rises up beyond the bars, far away and so cold. The Prince thinks of the Wolf, and prays he will be alright.
Not to God, because He never answered the Prince. No, the Prince had learned long ago to stop hoping. There was no God. There had never been one.
But it doesn’t stop the Prince from hoping, as he gazes out from his cell into the cold water, that the Wolf would be alright, would live for one more day.
The Prince traces the moon tattoo, carved on his forearm. “I love you,” he whispers.
He doesn’t expect an answer. The silence is the only sound.
The Prince lets his head drop. “I love you,” he says again, to the darkness in his eyelids.
He closes his eyes.
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ao3feed-snape · 3 years
Text
Modern Leper
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OmtafR
by Pickle_Chips
Modern Leper follows the Marauders: Remus Lupin (a 19 year old addict in recovery), Sirius Black (a recently disowned guitar player), James Potter (a lovesick footballer) and Peter Petigrew (a lonely and ambitious young man) as they begin university and navigate the love, heartbreak, successes and betrayals of early adulthood.
I do not support JK Rowling or her anti-trans rhetoric.
Words: 5160, Chapters: 4/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M, Multi
Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew, Mary Macdonald, Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Marleen McKinnon, Poppy Pomfrey, Regulus Black
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Additional Tags: Past Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, Get Together, AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Everybody Lives, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Marauders
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OmtafR
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ao3feed-jily · 7 years
Text
4am in the summer of 2017
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2fg4KTq
by the_lost_star
okay first fic posted on here....
its the summer 2017 Best friends James and Sirius travel to Wales (after a hard years work at the prestigious Hogwarts academy for boys) for the holidays and meet the beautiful Lily Evans, the handsome Remus Lupin and a shy Peter Petigrew
Words: 378, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: F/M, M/M
Characters: Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans Potter, Harry Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Might be more - Character
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Additional Tags: wolfstar, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Marauders, MWPP, Mild Language, Fluff, Angst, Humor
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2fg4KTq
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