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#pieces of my heart

You can take my bones

Crack them

Grind them

Blend them up and blow them away with the wind

But I’m not even the wind to you

I’m not even the slight light reflecting off of the sun or the fading twinkle of a star passing

I’m more of a shadow you’re trying to chase away or a dark piece of midnight that fell from the sky

You’re twisting around in your own universe just trying so desperately to keep my wings clipped and my cocoon from blossoming

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~ These streets suddenly feel so lonely without you. Every building echoes a portrait of the past, yet I find myself unable to enter days that were once mine. [My shadow sticks to me aimlessly, for it too is unable to return to brighter times.] Silent promises to meet again - they linger on the fading signs of familiar cafés, mocking the world and its dreamers. It seems that photos will always hold more happiness than any present。


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Learning to grow into my own skin

How to wear my bones bare and how to let

My hair blow in the wind

Adapting to broken heart valves and half pumping lungs

Keeping my nerves calm and cool like ocean waves

Trying to keep my head above the water and my knees steady

Trailing across the grass and bathing in the kisses of the sun

Leaning my head back and drinking the waters of crying clouds

Holding my hand out but keeping my spirit tucked away and my soul dancing in the dark where no one can quite see it..

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I’m just really tired all the time and my mind kind of whirls around

My heart kind of twirls around the edge of the universe and when the stars come out at night

They grab handfuls of me and run away with them

I kinda feel my lungs collapsing and then refilling with pieces of dust from tomorrow

I dont know where the sun goes when the moon comes out but I know it takes my wonders with it

I keep the tips of my toes ready to reach for my spirit

So when the clouds try to drag it away I can at least say I attempted to make it stay

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At Night.

I break down at night. At the time when, after the entire day, I could be me to you being you.

At night, when my tiredness would wash away, it now drags me down.

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today, you stood behind my chair as you talked to me, and it felt like we fit together. it felt as though I could just tilt my head back, and I would feel at home, and you could wrap your arms around me, like we were each other’s.

but I know we aren’t, and we will never be, but in this moment, I allowed myself to think it could be possible.  

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Kissed by the Moon

Darkness slowly crept across the midnight sky, swallowing the world and reminding the moon to come out soon. The fog peered over the one tree that silently stood in the soil, parched and deprived of water. The moon, isolated and distant, merely hung above for all to see. Its gauzy, white light was followed by the looming shadows of secrets and reflected its to the world underneath it. The moon came and kissed the world, promising to return once again when darkness echoed it name.

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The snow fell down the earth like never before as she knew that someday, she will find her way. On the path she followed all these years, there were temporary people, oh so amazing and beautiful, but the pain they leave behind when they decide that she does not belong in their tiny universes makes her hands tremble and her mind sour ( the pretty smile fades as she breaths in the cigarette’s smoke). ‘’Oh you are young and so dramatic’’ She is a mountain stone, she passes everything through the filters of her mind and soul, living passionately every experience as if it was a first time. She quited smoking years ago, but from time to time she needs a cigarette to remind her that she is on the edge of lost and found. In the middle of this place, she knew that this world is composed of nothing but people who are lost and willing to give their souls away to feel found.

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So I was reading a fanfic about finding love and its supposed to be cute and soft and warm, but the author gives it a twist and all of a sudden everything you read that didn’t make sense, fit like pieces in a puzzle and I find myself holding onto that last piece. Not wanting to complete it. Not wanting to finish because I think I know how its going to end, but I don’t. I don’t know how it ends so I keep reading, I move my hands to my heart to make sure its still beating….to make sure I keep going. It was facing the loss and dealing with the aftermath that this character was facing that made me realize that everyone has secrets, everyone has their demons no matter how much they shine….it, its hard to keep going, but it was the love and support of all the people around this character that made me keep reading. 😭😭😭😭

So my message if you will is that, if you feel like you can’t keep up or your demons make the dark come faster, its okay to take your time. Its okay to take a long and shaky breath and stop for a little while, just as long as you keep going. Someone or something will carry your light for you. Believe in yourself and you’ll be okay. Turn the page….it’s going to be okay.


😭😭😭😭 darn fanfiction 😭😭😭

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